Baby I'm Scared of You with Dr. Dorothy Jeffries

It's Relationship Day topic of conversation "Baby I'm Scared of You" with Behavioral Relationship Consultant Dr. Dorothy Jeffries on Th Bev Johnson Show on WDIA Radio.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Memphis probably presents the Ben Johnson Show.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Let me say, Beth, I've got.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
Me first, let me.

Speaker 4 (00:18):
You say she's done empist of.

Speaker 5 (00:22):
Gain a.

Speaker 6 (00:28):
No matter of the problem, she can have so all
the phone and a Norman th your mind.

Speaker 7 (00:38):
She Jimmy in the hair by chilling you to just
keep the thing.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
When a wrangle ap pegging out the Johnson Show because
they have got out here every day.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Indeed, I an my bell, got me a missed.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Up and yet good morning, good morning, good morning, and

(02:10):
welcome in to WDIA the Bev Johnson Show.

Speaker 8 (02:15):
I'm Bev.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
It is indeed a pleasure to have you with us
once again. On this Friday, October thirty first, twenty twenty five.

Speaker 8 (02:26):
It's Halloween, your Yeah, Happy Halloween.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
It is relationship Day where we talk about relationships to
help make yours healthy, happy, wholesome, wonderful, and most of
all loving between consenting adults. We'll do that with our expert,
our behavior relationship consultant, doctor Dorothy Jeffrey. Got my fingers crossed.

Speaker 8 (02:56):
Yeah, we will.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
Talk about relationships on this day when it's your turn
to talk. Here in the numbers nine zero one five
three five nine three four two eight hundred five zero
three nine three four two eight three three five three
five nine three four two will give you in a

(03:22):
to me And if this day, this this, this this
here day Friday, October thirty first, twenty twenty five is
your birthday? Like my hair stylists keeps me going with

(03:44):
my hair. Yeah. Veronica Williams, Happy birthday, Veronica at Heavenly Creations. Yeah,
be creating on me. Happy birthday, Veronica. And to my sah,
she's miss Delta Social Light.

Speaker 4 (04:01):
Yeah, y'all know it.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Pat Moore was up, Pad Moore, Miss Jolti Sigma Theta
Sorority Incorporated. If Pat Moore's birthday, Happy birthday, Pat, My sorry,
I love me some. Pat Moore work with me. That's
path And all of you all out there who may
be celebrating a birthday on this day, you know what

(04:26):
we say, Go out and celebrate your life. You better,
you better when we come back.

Speaker 9 (04:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
And also y'all celebrating the birthday on Tomorrow, November first,
Sunday November two as well. Hey, happy birthday, y'all. Go
out and celebrate your life. You better, you better when
we come back. I'll give you some WDA goodwill announcements,
and we will be talking with our behavioral relationship consultant,

(05:05):
doctor Dorothy Jeffries and me right here on the Heart
and Soul of Memphis on w D I A. Baby,
I'm scared of you. Yeah, I'm baby, I'm scared of you,
he said, I ain't no whodie.

Speaker 8 (05:26):
I love that song.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
Good morning, Welcome back to w D I A. It's Halloween,
so I'm having some fun and once again back in
the saddle with me, my cohort, my sister friend. She
is back our behavior relationship consultant, Doctor Dorothy Jeffries. Good morning,

(05:49):
doctor Jeffries.

Speaker 10 (05:50):
How are you.

Speaker 5 (05:52):
Good morning, Miss Devlish, Good morning, good damn well this morning.
How about you.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
I'm well to doctor Jeffries. You sound great.

Speaker 5 (06:02):
My boy feels a little clear the aarons because we
had so much rain. So everything is good.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
This morning sounds good well, Doctor Jeffries. Our topic of
conversation on this Halloween, Baby, I'm scared of you.

Speaker 5 (06:17):
I hear you.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Hey, baby, I'm scared of you.

Speaker 9 (06:23):
Know.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
I think about that, Doctor Jeffers, so make you laugh,
and when we talk about that, I think about it
as my my, my, my journey in radio. I think
about the guys that I was that I ran from,
and I'm gonna tell you to two people are well,
it was a lot of them, but it too and

(06:44):
and y'all it was too Dtor Jeffries. I ran from
Tyrone Davis and I ran from the Isley brother. No,
not run, it was it was Rudolf. Because I said, baby,

(07:05):
I'm scared of you. And what's wrong? I said, nah,
I ran, I really ran, and and and years later
Tyrone David slam Tyrroh said, I know you was running
from me. I said, yeah, because I'm scared of you.

Speaker 5 (07:20):
But you know something that was common sens and you
were young.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
Yeah I was young, you know, yeah, I was a
young young woman, right because I was a young one.
I was in my twenties, and so you know these guys,
you know, these are entertainers and stuff, and you hear
all the things. But Rude, I can see him now
at time, and I laugh about that now, And I said,

(07:47):
I wonder what would have happened if if I had
a guy with him.

Speaker 5 (07:50):
Doctor Jeffers Shoes, I'm telling you.

Speaker 7 (07:56):
You would know why you were running.

Speaker 5 (07:57):
That's why.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
So that's why I said I'm baby, I mean I'm
scared of you.

Speaker 5 (08:02):
You know, then you would know why you were running from.
That's what would have happened.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
Yeah, that's right, that's right. I think about that all
the time. So when we talk about doctor Jefferies, baby,
I'm scared of you.

Speaker 5 (08:16):
I'm telling you. But you know, you can look at
that in two different ways, okay, because you know we've
been talking prior to the two breaks, we were talking
about men and their red flags and how women have
to become more alert, and then we were going to
talk about women and how men need to consider, you know,

(08:40):
those red flags too, because usually it's women who are
encouraged to look for red flags and what have you,
because the assumption is that you will probably as a female,
you will probably become more of a victim because of

(09:01):
the emotions and attachments and all of that than a man.
But if you're human, if someone triggers those things, those traits,
those moves, that look, or whatever time you are in
a romantic space or in search of a romantic space
or in thirsty for a romantic space, you are vulnerable

(09:26):
because those needs, those desires, those imaginations and imaginary people
and all of that it's almost like they conspire to
make you see what is not there, hear what is
not said, and believe what you know is a lie

(09:48):
because we want it, we want to do it. And
so the mind, the body, and the souls tends to
work against you when you go against your instinct and
try to fix something or take a chance on someone,
or run towards somebody that you know you are hesitant about,

(10:09):
or you have second thoughts about, and you haven't even
you know, really gotten to know them or anything. So
there are a lot of reasons to be scared. And
then they're On the other hand, everything could be perfect,
all the signals and clear, things are working out well.
But if you've never had a healthy relationship, if you've

(10:30):
been a problem for yourself, if you've had multiple partners
and they've disappointed you, people get scared of that too,
And they've become scared of that because the big V word.
Nobody wants to be vulnerable. We all want to pretend
we're stored, we're brave, we're out there, we can handle

(10:52):
whatever comes down. And Mama didn't raise no food. You know,
I can see, I can seemed. We know all those
things we say, but in the heart of hearts and
the deep recesses of our minds when we're telling ourselves
the truth. What it is is that you are afraid

(11:13):
of is that this might be the one, This might
be the person who sees me. And some of us
have never been seen, a lot of us have never
been heard, and far too many of us have never
been understood or cared for. Cared For is a very

(11:37):
triggering word, because I've had crients and sometimes friends or
other people when you ask, well, who's cared for you?
Who cares for you when you're feeling down, or you
feeling depressed, or you're feeling unsaying, who is the person
that you trust that you can just be who you
are with and who does that for you? And some

(12:00):
of them will burst into tears. Some of them you
can see the emotions across their face and they may
change and freeze up. But when that happens, usually there
is no one, not even when they were younger, who
they go to mentally that said whenever, whenever anything was wrong,

(12:24):
you know, I could go to and just fill in
the blank. And I think that there are far too
many people out there that confuse enabling. Somebody is caring
for them, but you first have to care for yourself
and understand what your needs are, what your ones are,

(12:44):
and how to protect yourself and give the best of
yourself before you're able to be healthy and to do
that with somebody else. So there's a lot to be
scared about. And Halloween is coming up.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
And it is today. It is today dot jeff out.

Speaker 5 (13:01):
Hey, you know, people gonna get out there and do
their things. But I think it's an interesting topic and
I really really encourage some of these women to college.
We've been missing out.

Speaker 8 (13:11):
I know, I said, you know, where are the ladies.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
I know the ladies are listening, and a lot of
times they listening, and I appreciate, you know, sometimes they
may not want to call, but let me say, ladies,
email me, email me. Bev Johnson at iHeartMedia dot com.
Bev Johnson at I Heeartmedia dot com. That's that little

(13:37):
iye iHeartMedia dot com, small eye and if you have
a question or two. But but I'm like you, doctor Jeffers,
we want to hear from from the ladies that today
that who were you you scared of or you're scared
of or or why? And what's going on? Or if
you have a question for doctor Jeffries, because I know,

(14:00):
we know these men will call, but we want to
hear from us, from some of these sisters about why
you were were afraid of somebody or or now doctor Jeffries.
And also on this hand, you're in a relationship with
somebody and you're afraid of them and you don't know
what to do. There are a lot of people like that,

(14:20):
doctor Jeffries, men and women.

Speaker 5 (14:24):
That is very true.

Speaker 11 (14:26):
That is very true.

Speaker 5 (14:27):
That's that the vulnerability thing that's coming in. And you
know a lot of times we've become you know, lying
to ourselves is the absolute worst thing that you could
ever start to practice because if you can't, you know,
you made lie to other people for whatever reasons or

(14:48):
you know, whatever defenses and what have you. But the
most intimate person that you should you should be comfortable with,
you should you should have insight into it. Somebody the
standing of and self protection of is yourself. But when
you betray yourself by lying to yourself, you put yourself

(15:10):
at risk. And that's your head, your heart, your money,
your respect, all of that. You have to understand who
you are, how you are, you know what your values are.
You know, those areas that are assets that people are
drawn to, the boundaries that we all need to create

(15:33):
so that we don't feel manipulated and misused and abused
and what have you. You have to do that work.
And when you do that work, that increases your value.
That's like saving. You know, if you're a spender and
you begin to stop, you know really you know, going
shopping and being shopping and just splurging and seeing something

(15:58):
you want versus something that is responsible that you need
to take care of, and you decide, I'm going to
start saving. And as you begin to become protective of
that savings and watch it grow and then really feel
good about yourself that you're putting the money in there.
That's what you do when you work it on yourself
and when you're building those kinds of behaviors and habits

(16:21):
and practices, that increases your value and your self valuation
is the one that other people see. They recognize it
when you hold your head up a little straighter or
you throw that head back a little more because you
feel proud of yourself when you're more caution, You take

(16:44):
more precautions when you commit to things, or you say
the biggest word in the world. Know when you want to.
When you start doing for yourself and caring for yourself,
it shows just as much and even more so than
when somebody else cares for you. Because the thing is,

(17:05):
the more you practice self care, the better you'll be
able to identify it when somebody comes along. And this
is no matter whether these are coworkers, your friends, or neighbors,
whomever it is, your loved ones, your potential loved ones.
You want to put yourself in a position where your respect,
your self valuation is so high that when it doesn't

(17:29):
feel right, when it doesn't look right, when you don't
have the energy to try to entertain it, maybe you
get your pocketbooking step because you don't want to disvest
any interest into something that is not going to serve
you well. And I think that's what we do too often,

(17:49):
because you know, you hear women in particular say half
a man is better than no man. Or I can
always I can pick them up, I can straighten them out,
have you, Or as long as I can make him
sit at home, I can watch him. All of those
are projects. We don't do projects in twenty twenty five,
we don't that should be the first thing. We don't

(18:11):
do projects, yeah, and the sech a thing that we
don't do. We don't allow ourselves to become an option.
You know, option means maybe he will come or she
will call, or we will go, or you will do
what you said, or you know, or I can believe
you or treasure. Don't be an option because people then

(18:33):
get to choose when you're worth their time, when you're
worth their space, and if they have to give you anything.
There's some people that they don't have to give anything.
They can just suck up all the taking because they
see the desperation in your eyes that I gotta have
somebody here.

Speaker 12 (18:55):
You know.

Speaker 5 (18:56):
And then when that happens, you're not you know, you
you're not the option anymore, you're not the priority.

Speaker 10 (19:03):
Then you become the guard.

Speaker 5 (19:05):
You know, where you're checking phones, you reading messages, you
following people in your car, dressed in black with sunglasses on,
and now all that kind of stuff. And it's real.
It's real because real people have come into my office
and I'm sure many other therapists, and what they tell
you that they have done in the name of love

(19:28):
in quotation mark. Sometimes it makes you laugh. Sometimes it
makes you want to cry, and sometimes you know, you
just want to say, really, you went that far? You
you put yourself in that kind of jeopardy as they
wake up in jail because they've gotten into a fight
over somebody. You know, all of that stuff that means

(19:49):
your judgment is missing.

Speaker 10 (19:51):
So be scared.

Speaker 5 (19:53):
There are a lot of people out there that should
be You should be very frightened up. So we want
to talk about hearing some things that you've learned from
running with scared people or running after scared people, well
being the scary person, you know, and you get better.

(20:13):
You decide, okay, I'm not I'm mad, I'm ah blah blah.
I do not need to take this gun over there
because I see somebody else go into his house.

Speaker 10 (20:25):
You know, you don't.

Speaker 5 (20:26):
You don't need to do that. You need to be
at home. You know, people have a right to take
into their home who they want to. So we don't
own anybody that's that's the scary party. You can't lock
them up and carry them in your back pocket.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
I like that good way to start off, Doctor Jeffries.
Hold on, we are going to open up our phone
lines for you. Our topic of conversation baby, I'm scared
of you. People you've been scared of, and even even
doctor Jeffries, you know, talk about people who've been ghosted

(21:01):
and what is ghosting, you know, because we use that
word a lot and people people don't know what that is.
So we'll talk about that. So we're opening up our
lines now. Nine zero one, five, three, five, nine three
four two eight one hundred five zero three nine three

(21:22):
four two eight three three five three five nine three
four two will get you in to us. You're listening
to the hard and Soul of Memphis w d I A.

Speaker 13 (21:37):
Hi, this is David Porter, and you are listening to
the Queen of Talk, Bev Johnson. She is the one
and only.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
No one can tapa, no one can stop her, and
I'm in love with her. You're listening to Bev Johnson
at w d IA.

Speaker 4 (21:52):
The Bev j Justson Show.

Speaker 13 (22:13):
Called eighty five one three, one seven seven for more information.

Speaker 5 (22:17):
You did I ain't the things.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
I mean I'm telling everyone see talking No everyone, Welcome
back to w d I A Relationship Day. We're talking, baby,

(22:48):
I'm scared of you. We're talking with our behavioral relationship consultant,
doctor Dorothy Jeffries, doctor Jeffries. I'm going to our phone
lines to talk to some of our listeners. Thank you
for waiting, y'all.

Speaker 3 (23:01):
Hi Trina, Hi, can you hear me?

Speaker 1 (23:05):
Gut?

Speaker 2 (23:06):
I hear you loud and clear, Trina, I.

Speaker 14 (23:10):
Was calling because you was talking about being scared and
I think I'm scared of being hurt again. Okay, And
I was married for about fifteen years, divorce, he cheated,
had a baby. So I went a couple of years
with working on myself after being angry, hurt, broke and not.

(23:35):
I wasn't dating, wasn't heaving, stick, wasn't doing anything. So
then I decided, maybe a couple of years ago that
I was ready to, you know, get out there, and
I was meeting guys, but to me, everything was a
red flag. Everything was a red flag or I don't
know if it was just me at the time still
being afraid. And so recently I opened myself up again

(24:00):
and said, Okay, I don't want a relationship. I just
want companionship, meaning just the.

Speaker 9 (24:06):
Friends with benefits.

Speaker 14 (24:09):
And so I went into that and I was okay
with it at first, but I felt like me, I
can't have offense friends with benefits because I have feelings,
and my emotions got involved, and so then I became
I realized I became an option to that person.

Speaker 7 (24:29):
And I'm still I'm at the point.

Speaker 14 (24:32):
Now I don't want to close off again, and because in.

Speaker 9 (24:35):
My mind, I'm going back to the point of I don't.

Speaker 5 (24:38):
Want to be hurt again.

Speaker 9 (24:39):
So I don't even want to date again.

Speaker 7 (24:41):
I don't even want to try again.

Speaker 15 (24:43):
But I don't.

Speaker 5 (24:44):
But at the same time, I want companionship.

Speaker 14 (24:47):
Okay, And I'm forty seven, Okay, so I'm like, where do.

Speaker 9 (24:52):
I go from here?

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Okay, Okay, Trina, I will ask doctor Jefferys. You keep listening.
Thank you for sharing, Trina. Okay, well, let me ask
me before you go to Trina. So you you you know,
after being heard and and and you're saying that you
became an option to this person. But again, you still
want companionship. Do you do you want that companionship to

(25:18):
lead into relationship or just just companionship.

Speaker 5 (25:24):
Right now?

Speaker 14 (25:24):
I want a relationship, but at the same time, it's
just a lot of people out here playing games.

Speaker 3 (25:29):
I got you there, okay, So I don't know, you know,
do I?

Speaker 7 (25:34):
And then I don't really go out to meet people
because I'm afraid again.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
Okay, okay, I don't know, all right, Trina, keep listening,
Thank you, Trina. Let me go to doctor Jeffries and
and and see, uh, doctor Jeffries. Were you able to
hear Trina?

Speaker 5 (25:53):
Nope, I couldn't hear anything.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Okay, okay, so let me tell you what what what
Trina said? Trina said that her thing is she's scared
of being hurt again. She was divorced, married fifteen years.
Her husband cheated at babe. She said after that, she
tried to get herself together after being hurt and broke,

(26:15):
and she said she didn't want a relationship, but then
she said that she was gonna try. She wanted companionship,
but she didn't want a relationship and the guy she
would meet, you know, red flags. And so then she
got companionship and then she found out she was oh yeah,

(26:36):
she said she just wanted a companionship maybe friends with benefits,
and she and found out that she was, as you
said earlier, someone's option that. So so now she says
she's just afraid. She says she wants a relationship at
a companionship, but she's just afraid because people playing games

(27:01):
and there's so many red flags and she doesn't know
what to do. She said, and she's forty seven years old.

Speaker 5 (27:08):
Well she's still young. Yeah, And that's the first thing
about it. The other part of it is, uh, you
said Trina, right, Yeah, Trina were giving mixed messages. See,
until Trina is comfortable and clear on what she wants,
then you can't communicate that. You can't say I want

(27:31):
a relationship because when you say I want a relationship,
what you're saying is I want an intimate relationship with
someone that we share things to do, we have companionship,
we're compatible, meaning that and I'm comfortable, he's comfortable, and
what have you. I'm not going into a scene. I

(27:54):
want you to get married again, but I want a
relationship someone that I can trust. You know, if this
ain't unless you're just going to deal with different people,
you want to build those types of values into it
or not. Now if you don't. When you say a companion,
a companion is someone that if you want to go

(28:17):
out to dinner or you want to go to a
bench and what have it's kind of like an escort.
You're a good on good time. You may even be
close because close friends, but it's not the same level
of emotional investment, So you have to decide which one
you want. You can get hurt in either one of them.

(28:39):
The key is you have to put into perspective about
what happened in your marriage. And I hear you say
he cheated on you and all of that kind of stuff,
But what was your part in the marriage that created
the dessolution? Now, he might have just been a jerk

(29:01):
and was never faithful, and everything that he did he
did it for selfish reasons. But then look at what
role did you play were you? Were you the one
who played Ostrich where you went into denial. You knew
things were happening, You had the feeling and all that,

(29:22):
but you never addressed it because you didn't want to
confront it. Were you the one who is like the
silent detective. You're looking for signs you know around there
and kind of hoarding them and trying to piece together
who it is and all of that. Those kinds of
things preoccupy you. You feel jealous, or you feel angry,

(29:44):
or you feel bitter or resentful and what have you.
But it does change your personality and your behavior with
the person because both of you now have secrets, okay,
whether you are right or wrong, because in most cases
people imaginations can become so creative. Whatever it is that

(30:09):
you are suspicious of or that you are searching for,
you can find it. There may not be any thing
serious or compelling about it other than okay, some woman
gave him a phone number, or you didn't know he
was at this place and it's a matchbook in his

(30:29):
pocket and he didn't take you, or you know. You
can write a story in a scenario around whatever. But
the key is grown people handle their relationships as they
would anything else that's a value to them that they
care about, and what have you. Your flowers don't grow,

(30:50):
they keep.

Speaker 3 (30:50):
Dying on you.

Speaker 5 (30:51):
You throw them out, and then you bring somebody else
in another flower, and you're still killing that rather than
figuring out either you can't grow flowers and you need
plastic flowers, or you need to take some lessons or
read some books or start off with one planet the time,
but you address the situation. So anytime that there's issues

(31:15):
that come up, not big things all the time, but
little things, irritance whatever, boredom. Boredom will get you anytime.
Taking people for granted, have the conversation, because this is
the person you married to. This is Sunna, be your
best friend, your right or got the person who cares
for you, the person you care for. And the only
way that you get to that level of intimacy is

(31:38):
that you have to keep building those bridges and showing
them up that you are my person. I'm your person,
and nobody else out there understands you better than me.
Ain't nobody can deal with your craziness better than me.
You'll love all of that. It's right here, and we
need to keep reminding each other of that.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
So, but doctor Jeffer's entreating us case. You know, she's divorced.

Speaker 5 (32:00):
I know, but she has to learn from what's happened
in the divorce. She has to let that go.

Speaker 3 (32:05):
Okay, that's my point. Okay, the divorce he's still in.

Speaker 5 (32:10):
Let me put it like that. He's still in the
middle of her finding somebody else.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
Okay, I got you on that.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
Yes, that's what.

Speaker 5 (32:17):
All that what I was telling you, that's what that's
what that means. He has not been exhumed from her life. Yes,
because whatever he did, she's looking for it in somebody else,
or she's hiding from the possibility that somebody can do.
That's why the suggestion is work on yourself first. Figure

(32:37):
out the things how you want to be different this time,
how you what you want to change up. You want
to do something to make you live you forty seven,
You can do anything you want to to do it
this time, you got your health, you know whatever. Pretend
like this is the first day of the next beginning
of your new life, and make a list of everything

(32:58):
that you want to do, that you hope to do,
that you dream to do, and put it on the list,
and then that will preoccupy you when you're focusing on yourself.
And one of the first things you want to clarify
what it is that you want. Maybe you just want
a male friends to do stuff with first. Then maybe
you want to become comfortable enough with somebody that this

(33:19):
male friend or this person becomes a companion and if
you're comfortable with that, they may end up becoming the
intimate person or they'd help prep you so that if
somebody comes alone that you do have feelings for, then
you can work on that. But you need to get
him out of the house. And the only way you're
gonna get him out of the house. You have to

(33:39):
make a new treatment live there.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Okay, all right, hold on, doctor Jefferys. I'm going back
to the phone lines and I will write down those questions.

Speaker 8 (33:50):
W D I a thank you for waiting.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
Hi, K, I'm doing well.

Speaker 10 (33:57):
K and you I've been balling, doctor Jeffries. When you
accept not a health care dual health care planing?

Speaker 2 (34:07):
Oh okay, I'll ask doctor Jefferys that dual health care playing?
Does she accept?

Speaker 9 (34:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 10 (34:11):
Because she got a patient?

Speaker 16 (34:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (34:14):
Okay, what what? K?

Speaker 10 (34:18):
It's crazy that of kay Idaman. The last week I've
been I've been hypernation. I say it like that, okay.
And I'm an inclusive Nay, I'm an introgred right from
a burgo so. But I'm really getting the chucking my feelings,
and I wouldn't take time to do it had it
not been for the good laugh that I had. Because
I'm the go to person all the children, if the

(34:39):
bimbo's and everything, the children, their grandchildren and their parents, everybody.
I'm the person they bring all the problems to. Then
it's not out because I don't go along with none
of them. You see what I'm saying. So just having
some mandicant lussen. I can mean you Bell Johnson and jumping.
I ain't and thank you Bill, and just find out
just which we should take myself. Yeah right, But I

(35:02):
don't really need a therapist. I'm just talking about that boy.
But if I need what we want we're out of
hell one, it would be doctor Jefferson. Okay, okay, I'm
everybody else therapist. Okay, okay, I'm not down there here.
We had two full rides and then except one, so
I know, well, let me ask you this k who who.
I'm not gonna tell you because we had to where
had to tell you it might break Okay, I'm me

(35:23):
tell you like this, but if I tell you, I
won't believe it. But Bill, in my time, I have
been requested to live in palaces in the Middle East.
I have been offered annuities. I've had attorneys to come
to me. Then I waste them a lot of time too.
But I'm still staying. So I don't want to call
anybody's name. You got have to tell you somebody's name.

(35:45):
It would be offensive to their establishment. I got you
you respected with what answer around now, But for shore,
I ain't running there Okay, look, I'm an old girl,
but I've been in wait to tell a preservation of
had dated over twenty years. So at least my man
is thinking about you know, I'm thinking, I guess like
people who thinking. I got to think. Okay, I'm very
fellow meet him. Okay, thanks, thank.

Speaker 2 (36:07):
You, Kye w D I a high Clyde.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
Want of death?

Speaker 2 (36:16):
Job are you.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
My big sister?

Speaker 11 (36:19):
Doctors jail?

Speaker 12 (36:19):
How you doing?

Speaker 8 (36:20):
She doing well?

Speaker 9 (36:22):
Clad?

Speaker 12 (36:22):
Y'all got yeah, Now, y'all got a good time of today. Okay,
Because women need to learn, first of all, you can't
change the man. The man you meet is the man
you're gonna get. I don't know way he's gonna change,
and he won't change. And I don't know how many
times I got to tell you women, stop out there hunting.

(36:42):
The man is a hunter, okay. And if you got
to do and if you hunt him down, then you
got to keep him happy. You got to keep him
satisfied because you wasn't no chosen one. So all the
clown and and stuff like that, Like I just saw
on Facebook this this this woman knocked all the ones
that just delay the card because of a man.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
Think it's what think.

Speaker 11 (37:05):
That's what Bill Jones was.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
He gonna still be with.

Speaker 6 (37:10):
And you can it go to jail because he's gonna
he gonna.

Speaker 3 (37:12):
Destroy this woman car right.

Speaker 11 (37:15):
So I mean, I mean, I mean, it's.

Speaker 6 (37:17):
A good topic right here. But these women ain't gonna
pay y'all know, no attention. They're gonna keep on chasing
these men. They're gonna keep on trying to change them.
They're gonna keep on clowning over them. And you ain't
got the clown over a man that won't you because
he gonna he gonna concentrate on you.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
Take care, Bill jonp.

Speaker 2 (37:38):
You too, Clyde, I tell your tell your big sister,
all right, Doctor Jefferys, I don't know if you hurt
your little brother, Clyde.

Speaker 5 (37:48):
I couldn't hear anything, Okay, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (37:50):
Okay, well, well Clyde was saying, okay, so I know
now you can't hear. We have to get this fix
again anyway. But Clyde said, doctor Jeff, he showed you, hey,
he said, he said that this is a good topic.
He said, women need to stop chasing me. Women need
to learn that they can't change your man, the man

(38:14):
you meet. That's the man you gonna get. I guess
like the dramatics, what you see is what you get,
and and and and God said, you know, the man
is the hunter, not the woman. And then he said
he saw on Facebook where this woman had knocked the

(38:34):
windows out of this woman's car because her man with
the woman. He said, that ain't gonna get all. That's
gonna get her in jail. And the man is still
gonna be with the woman that that had the windows
knocked out of her car. What you said, just.

Speaker 8 (38:51):
That's coming from your little brother Clyde.

Speaker 5 (38:55):
You know, sometimes okay, okay, and this day and age,
people don't consider that Victorian stands that women have to
wait for men to come and chase them. Men don't
even chase anymore. You know. Men pick somebody that they

(39:18):
profile and that they looking for, if they looking for
somebody to take care of them, they don't go chase them.
They put themselves in the position because they've already read
that all they have to do is this, this, and this,
and the person was given whatever they want will take
care of them to the expense of self, children, job,
and everything else. Women who are independent, who are educated,

(39:42):
who are trained that independent is the word, and they
are able to do and buy anything that those women
were sitting around back in the day waiting for the
hunter to come along. They can do that for themselves.
The only thing they cannot do is provide companionship, love,
and someone who cares for them. So what they do

(40:06):
then is they go and they I'm not gonna say hunt,
but if you want to put it in that bare terms,
what they look for are people who have the means,
the resources, and the ability to care for them or
meet them where they are, or meet the needs that

(40:27):
they have. Some women are so independent they don't want
a committed relationship. They just want a plan with the
explanation parts around because they may be too busy, they
travel a lot or whatever. So the times have changed
crad but then the dynamics that have not changes that

(40:52):
people are not meant to be solo. You can have
all the money, all the job security, the best job
in the world, and what have you, But if you
don't have someone that you know, that cares for you,
that can share all of that with and can share
their lives with yours, it all becomes kind of jaded
and empty after a while. So people are still basically

(41:16):
looking for love and looking for someone to love them back.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Right, Okay, before I go to our phone, lize, I've
got Doc Jeffers. K came on and she was joking.
She says, tell Doctor Jeffery, do she take due a
complete and then case? She said, if she has to
have a therapist, it'll be you, Doctor Jefferson. And Kate
says she's an introvert. She's now getting in touch with

(41:43):
her feelings. And she says everybody comes to her for
a counselor and she's giving out all the advice. And
she hadn't dated in twenty years. Oh, And I asked
her who was she scared of? She said back and
the day she said, I'm not gonna call the name.
She said, but I've been all I was scared of
some attorneys and all she's I've been offered all kinds

(42:04):
of things of people. She's a call. But she said
she hadn't dated in twenty years, Doctor Jeffries. And she's
in our age group.

Speaker 5 (42:12):
Oh, I know it still looks I'm saying, this is
the tent. It's the first day of the beginning of
your new life until you are lowered in the ground
or dumped in or urned. You still have life. And
as long as you have life, you can dream, you
can want, and you can go after what you want. Otherwise,

(42:33):
what are we doing here? You know, there was the
last two generations where people were too old to work
and then they would retire.

Speaker 3 (42:41):
Home on their front porch.

Speaker 5 (42:43):
That's what the entire people did. They still get up
at five o'clock in the morning, eat breakfasts by six,
and then they sit out on the porch. That's not
what people.

Speaker 3 (42:53):
I mean.

Speaker 5 (42:54):
There's so many things that's available. You have access to
the world, and even if you have to plan for it,
or you know, you find you travel, but if there
are things out there that you would want to expose us,
if you enjoyment is not off limits because you hit.

Speaker 16 (43:11):
A certain birthday, so.

Speaker 5 (43:14):
You want to you want to enjoy life of the
older we get like Astra and Simpson used to say,
time is a little more precious to you. You know,
you don't have the silliness of youth where you think
you could live forever, you're invincible and.

Speaker 16 (43:28):
All of that.

Speaker 5 (43:29):
You're looking for meaning and so we don't have kind
of grandfolds, don't have time to play around and play
all these games, these dangerous games, these stupid games. And
and if I could just get a squad of women
together that want to be detectives, we could open up
a hell of a detective agency because they come up
with some stuff that they do to try. And I'm like,

(43:52):
but why what you know? Once you once he has
proven himself that she's a cheater or serial cheater or
my or you, what do you need more evidence? Well?
And and I married to them, So what does it
do you? I got the self satisfaction of catching it here.
You need a bigger goal, that's right, a bigger goal.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
You're right. Hold on, doctor Jeffers.

Speaker 8 (44:16):
I'll go back to our phone lines to talk to
some of our listeners.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
W D I A hey caller the car. Hey you're
on the air.

Speaker 9 (44:28):
How y'all going?

Speaker 8 (44:29):
We're doing well?

Speaker 9 (44:30):
And you okay? I just got in my card. I
just heard what Clyde said about what you whatever, or
what a woman did, what a man whatever, man should get.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
That's what she gets.

Speaker 9 (44:48):
You can't change the man.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
That can't.

Speaker 9 (44:51):
Right, And now I'm gonna have to say this. Clyde
has a good group on on one of them. Now,
I believe you know, everybody got her opinion. But I
believe what class said about a woman ain't supposed to hunt.
I don't care how more than times is for everything
because she.

Speaker 5 (45:11):
I guess.

Speaker 9 (45:13):
The reason I say it is because the Bible said
a man that finding a wife, find it.

Speaker 11 (45:18):
A good things.

Speaker 9 (45:22):
There from my right there. And so when he said
that a woman ain't supposed to hunt, I assumed that
he was talking about if a woman was looking for
her husband or something.

Speaker 8 (45:33):
Man, that's what he was talking about. And a woman
chasing a man.

Speaker 9 (45:38):
Right, uh huh and that, uh, well, she chasing him,
and uh, she shouldn't be chasing him. Really, I thought
I thought women were made. I thought God put women
here from for men's and she ain't supposed to be
chasing no man because if she if the man chasing her,

(45:59):
he will love her and cherish her. Eventually they'll get married.
Now that's the way I'm looking at it, you know, okay,
uh huh okay. And this problem I got to say,
all right, Wama, our man is supposed to cherish a wama,
love her, be her, protect her and her provider and everything.

(46:23):
And you know, some of them are, some of them are,
and some of them not because I guess if they
haven't been raised or talk, then they wouldn't be I
guess it's just like some people know how to love
and some people don't come up. What is love if
you've never been exposed to it or know the difference.

Speaker 11 (46:47):
That's all I got to say.

Speaker 15 (46:49):
Too much problem.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Anyway, that's all right, you did, Thank you. I appreciate
your call. Thank you.

Speaker 8 (46:54):
W D I a high caller.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
I'm doing fine, common man.

Speaker 15 (47:02):
Yes, ma'am, Yes, ma'am. I understand that doctor Jeffers can't
hear of so let us know that I say hello,
I will. I'm called. Okay, I'm calling about the call
that you got from Trino. Where she where she was
speaking about she wanted a companion and a situation where
it would be friends with benefit. She went on to

(47:22):
say that she became an option. And I don't mean
no harm, Trino. I just want you to realize something.
To me, Yeah, to me, she created her own problem
because she didn't necessarily become an option. The situation that
she desired, you have everything to be optional because she

(47:45):
said she just wanted a companion and friends will benefit.
She did not want a committed relationship. You see, So Trina,
what you desired, it left options open for you and
the guy. Had you communicated that you wanted a committed
relationship at that time, then maybe you would have got

(48:06):
there if that guy wanted it along with you. But
you wanted something where you was free to do what
you wanted to do and he was free to do
what he wanted to do. You didn't want to commit
a relationship at that point in time. So think about that,
and you know, just make your decision what you want
to do, and then when you do make that decision,
make sure you communicate that to the person that you
communicating with. That way both you all be on the

(48:28):
same page. That's all I got there.

Speaker 2 (48:32):
All right?

Speaker 8 (48:32):
Coming man by bid I go back to doctor Jeffery Doctor.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Jeffers at Anne had called in and said that she
agreed with with your little brother Clyde about women not
supposed to be chasing men and hunting for a man,
because she said she believes that a man should look
for the woman and be able to do once he

(48:59):
gets said woman, and he's get her, and that woman
should become his wife and take care of her, chairs
her and protect her. But also and everybody doesn't want
to be married, right, doctor Jefferson.

Speaker 16 (49:14):
That's right.

Speaker 9 (49:16):
But the other part of it is in.

Speaker 5 (49:21):
And we still haven't gotten to where we need to get. Yeah,
we're trying to raise young people who not only have
all of the social skills and the ancestral history of
who we are and all of that, but we also
want to have gender equity, meaning that a man that

(49:43):
that whole thing about the man picking the woman and
all of that that that came back from the cave
man did and all he did was take a club
and hit the woman on the head, grab it by
the hair, and drug her home and she had nothing
to say about it. Now, there's a lot that still

(50:03):
happens like that. You know, if he has enough resources
and stuff, he hits her and overwhelms her with what
he has his power and stuff, and drags her home,
and she may not express all of her real and
truthful beliefs and feelings about him. But it's a transaction.

(50:24):
People hunt for, meaning that they are praying p r
y on somebody. People date to rule in and rule
out people that may be compatible with it. And we're
talking about mature, informed adults. I want to know what's
going on in your head, in your life, anything that's

(50:49):
critical about your past and all of that. Whereas that
we have enough information about each other, we can make
an informed consent about agreeing to go to each level.
It's just too risky, it's too much. Women have as
much at stake as men now to sit around, and

(51:11):
a lot of men realized that there are more women
looking for men than there are men looking for women now,
and so women will be left on the doorstep if
they don't use some assertive behaviors and stuff. There's a
way to do anything with class. I'm not saying you
go out and chase a man down and you know,

(51:33):
throw yourself at him and what have you. But there
is a way that you can do anything in this
life as a woman. You've been trained how to act
like a lady, but you know how to act like
a woman when you need to. And when you get
the man that you want or the person that you love,
or whomever that may be, then you can be whatever

(51:56):
you need to be in that relationship to satisfy him
or her, and vice versa. But those are all in
for a mutual decisions. I don't care what class.

Speaker 17 (52:07):
Is all right, all right, doctor Jeffries, Hold on, Doctor Jeffries,
hold on, callers, We're going to take a break as
if we get ready to go to the other side
of the Bev Johnson Show right here on w d
i A.

Speaker 18 (52:28):
Whether you're in Arkansas, Tennessee, or Mississippi on Facebook, Twitter,
or Instagram, thank you for listening to the Bev Johnson
Show on do w d i A Memphis.

Speaker 4 (52:38):
The Bev Johnson Show. Bell doesn't show Bell tough time

(53:03):
with this talking and home away, help.

Speaker 9 (53:09):
You go, you go?

Speaker 2 (53:11):
Son't getting ready in time, LESCo.

Speaker 13 (53:20):
Bell doesn't well make your day by herero t you d.

Speaker 4 (53:29):
Listen to what today? You know it's time of the
Belt Show, of the Mountain Show, Lucky, Let's go.

Speaker 8 (53:39):
We are rocking and rolling on this Halloween.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
It's Friday, October thirty first, twenty twenty five Relationship Day
where we talk about relationships to help make yours healthy, happy, wholesome,
wonderful and most of our loving between consenting adults. We're
doing that with our expert our behavioral relationship cons to
doctor Dorothy Jeffries. Topic of conversation, Baby, I'm scared of

(54:05):
you going back to our phone lines. Doctor Jeffries, hold
on going back to Trina. Trina has something to say. Hey, Trina, I.

Speaker 7 (54:16):
Just want to I was listening to doctor Jeffries comment,
and I think she was trying to insinuate that I
was my eggs had something to do with my situation.
And I have been divorced for six years. I will
swingle and not doing anything for three years because that
I took their time to work on myself. Okay, figure
things out.

Speaker 3 (54:37):
So doing that.

Speaker 8 (54:38):
Sixth, So after you've been divorced for six.

Speaker 2 (54:41):
Years, Trina, and so if you started working on yourself,
I think doctor Jeffries was saying to you, think about
what part you played in the marriage as well.

Speaker 7 (54:51):
Oh and that's what I wanted to come in my party.
Is stay staying too long? Like she said, the red flag.

Speaker 5 (54:58):
Okay, I was young, he was an older guy. Okay,
some of the red flags that I got. I knew him,
but I looked over him for the sake of our kids,
and I stayed too long until I found out about
the baby.

Speaker 8 (55:10):
Okay, how many kids did you did you? You all
had kids together?

Speaker 5 (55:14):
We have two?

Speaker 13 (55:15):
Two?

Speaker 2 (55:16):
Okay, so you you really stayed stayed there for the kids.

Speaker 7 (55:20):
Yes, ma'am at that time.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
Okay, okay, and then the red flags what what was
some of the red flags tream?

Speaker 8 (55:27):
I'm glad you called back to explain.

Speaker 7 (55:30):
Red flags was him saying he's working late but never
having any extra money, or always hiding his phone, or
you know, just he was doing a lot of stuff.

Speaker 5 (55:42):
His mama was, you know, using his mama phone, and
I end up signing his mama left her phone in
my vehicle one day and a message propped up, and
so he was using his It was time science like
that that I was ignoring. And so then the lady
reached out to me and told me about the baby,
and I found DNA papers in the house, and so

(56:03):
I you know, after that, I still try to stay
another year, because, like I said, he was an older guy.

Speaker 7 (56:08):
I was younger in my twenties. Ok So, then once
I just realized I had to, I just became angry, angry, angry.

Speaker 5 (56:16):
I knew it was time for me.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
To just let it go.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Okay. So, so how old was he.

Speaker 7 (56:23):
We're thirteen years apart, and so at the time I
was in my thirties, he was in his forties.

Speaker 2 (56:28):
Okay, okay, okay, he he was in your thirties, he
was in your four as a gotcha, yes, and so.

Speaker 7 (56:35):
I worked on myself for three years. And then when
I was saying about my recent release relief, I'm sorry
recent issue with the guy. I chose that type of
situation because I knew I wasn't fully ready to just
jump into a series and relationship. So now I'm at
the point I know what I want, and I want
a relationship.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
Okay, Okay, I won't.

Speaker 7 (56:57):
I'm ready for love.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
Okay, I got you, Trina, Thank you.

Speaker 5 (57:01):
I used the option in my comment is because me
and the guy we knew each other, you know, we
knew each other. He reached out to me and then
reach out to him, and so we talked and we
discussed what we wanted from the get go. Okay, and
after everything was going.

Speaker 7 (57:18):
Pretty good, and then he started, you know, not keeping
up his end of the bargain, and I realized, okay,
I'm an option. Now it's time to let that go.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Okay, That's where I am now, all right, Trina, thank
you Trina for calling back. I appreciate that. Bye bye,
all right, Doctor Jeffrey. So Trina called back. She gave
us some more information. Doctor Jeffers for you, She said,
she heard what you had to say. But okay, let
me go back, doctor Jeffries. Okay, first of all, her

(57:50):
husband ex husband when they got married, he was an
older guy. He was in his forties, she was in
her thirties. Okay, they had they had two kids together,
she said, starting the red flags, some of the red
flags she saw that he would say he was working late,

(58:14):
but he was working late, but he had no extra money.
He started he started hiding his phone, and then he
started using his mother's phone. She said. She found his
mother's phone in the car one day and looked at
it and saw what was going on. Then, she said,
when he was cheating. Then he had a baby. The

(58:35):
lady called her and told her about the baby. She said,
she still stayed there because she was trying to stay
there for her children. Yeah, okay, she became angry and
then you know, she got it filed for divorce, got
a divorce, she said. During that part after the divorce,
she's been divorced with six years, she said, three years.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
She worked out how long she's been has she been divorced?

Speaker 2 (59:01):
I think, she said they when I first wrote it down,
they had been married for fifteen years. I think she
said she's been divorced for six years.

Speaker 5 (59:10):
Six years okay, so years right.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
Okay, Yeah, So then she says doctor Jeffries that you know,
she was angry with all of that, but she she
took three years to kind of work on herself. Then
that's when she started. Yeah, that's when she started talking about,
you know, maybe want a companionship and friends with benefits.
So she said, she met this guy and she told

(59:35):
him the kind of thing she wanted, and he told
her what he wanted. They said, okay, so they start
having you know, dating, and then he didn't keep up
on his end of the bargain, and that's when she
said she didn't want to become an option. That's when
she found out. So now she says, doctor Jeffries, she
wants to have a relationships and she's ready for love.

Speaker 5 (01:00:00):
Okay, I'm glad she clarified that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Yeah, But.

Speaker 5 (01:00:05):
What I was still saying was that doing doing the
work and it may only be just writing down what,
you know, what she wrote to us about the things
that he did. You know, she got the information. What
what does she feel like that she did in the
marriage or was it or is she saying that it's

(01:00:27):
all him? And usually I mean it may be something
there that that you you do that you don't pay
any attention to, or that you know, you get too
comfortable or whatever. But both people in a relationship play
a role, and then people play off of each other,
even if it's no more than you start changing your

(01:00:49):
behavior that's really bizarre and out of character. That raises
red flag and then I just ignore it because I
don't want to deal with a problem. That's what you know,
what I'm saying. So look at what you've done so
that what you're doing is clearing everything so that the
new relationship that you are going to be open to

(01:01:11):
doesn't have any old baggage getting in the way.

Speaker 16 (01:01:15):
Yeah, because new people.

Speaker 5 (01:01:17):
There are a lot of new people in relationships and
they'll say, I'm I'm faithful, I keep my word. But
all the guys or all the women that he and
she is dated with and is cheated and so she
treats me like I'm doing the same thing. So you
don't want that to happen. Find find the new trainer.
What did you learn from that, What are you taking

(01:01:38):
into the new and what do you want that to
be like, you know, what are you willing to work
on within yourself to do that? But I'm glad to
hear that you are at that phase now so that
you can go out there and grab yourself from happiness.
And I hope that that happens for your trainer.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
I really do so.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
In essence, doctor jeffries Trina, should you know, and we
say this, continue to work on herself.

Speaker 5 (01:02:04):
Exactly, but put it down. And my thing is when
I suggest when to write things down, and it's better
if you put it down like in the same tablet,
the same book, a journal, a diary, if you want
to something that's private just for your eyes, okay, And
then this is where you explore the truth with yourself,

(01:02:26):
about you, about your relationships, about your wants and needs,
about your past, about what you want your future to do,
hopes and needs and dreams. It's just for you. Because
we carry so much stuff in our heads, and then
we have emotional stuff that we packed away. You don't
know what you're lugging around into your cleaning house. Once

(01:02:48):
you clean house, then you've got a place to start,
totally fresh and loose. Like Patty says, you got a
new attitude right. Okay, I'm hitting it with the songs today.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
Yeah we are, we are both of us. I don't yes,
we work. Hold on, doctor Jeffries. I'll go back to
our phone lines. W D I A N forgetful?

Speaker 16 (01:03:16):
Miss Johnson?

Speaker 7 (01:03:16):
How you doing?

Speaker 8 (01:03:17):
I'm doing well and you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:20):
See I'm doing great good.

Speaker 16 (01:03:22):
I respond to the young lady named Trina.

Speaker 2 (01:03:25):
Okay, what do you want to say to Trina?

Speaker 16 (01:03:29):
She did everything right, Miss Johnson?

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
Okay, and I'm so proud of them.

Speaker 16 (01:03:34):
Okay, talking about with the Hoby from my from my
husband with another woman and his daughter that I called
a rebound situation. She went into a relationship with a
man and he didn't want to act right.

Speaker 3 (01:03:46):
So they don't.

Speaker 16 (01:03:48):
They were She thought everything you want to be straightened
and he didn't do it right. I call that rebound situation.
And for love, she's gonna find it, miss Jones, because
women's like that, they are unique, they are pure. It's
hard to find a woman like that there. That's what
a woman's supposed to be like. She did nothing wrong,

(01:04:10):
she did everything right. Eventually God would bring that love
to her that she's looking for.

Speaker 3 (01:04:16):
Okay, So you don't go out there looking.

Speaker 16 (01:04:18):
For no, man, that's the first thing. Don't do that.
He will find you. I'm telling you. That's a that's
a woman. That bad job. And another thing.

Speaker 3 (01:04:27):
About the show.

Speaker 16 (01:04:29):
You were saying top of the show about running running?

Speaker 9 (01:04:33):
Uh?

Speaker 5 (01:04:33):
What was it?

Speaker 13 (01:04:36):
What?

Speaker 8 (01:04:37):
Unforgetful?

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
What did I You're saying running?

Speaker 13 (01:04:40):
Uh?

Speaker 16 (01:04:43):
Running from them?

Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
What were you saying about the top of that the show?

Speaker 2 (01:04:46):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (01:04:46):
The topic of the show is baby, I'm scared of you.

Speaker 3 (01:04:50):
Oh yeah, I'm scared of you. You know what I'm
scared of there? John? And what are you scared of
when a female try to pursuit me?

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (01:04:59):
Because I don't know what attention to you? Clyde was
right one, Okay, a woman coming out to me, Man,
I don't know what your attention to is. You know,
love it and out of the hole, you know, That's
the way I look at it.

Speaker 7 (01:05:13):
Bell.

Speaker 16 (01:05:14):
But when a woman's chasing me and trying to you know, now,
something wrong with that, Bell Johnson. I don't understand these
ladies today.

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
Okay.

Speaker 16 (01:05:23):
Why would you.

Speaker 3 (01:05:23):
Want to pursue a man? A man is supposed to
suit you, okay, And it's so simple.

Speaker 16 (01:05:29):
Be smart, stay in his eyes. You know what I'm
saying on the breastland and walk around him, make sure
he stee you a lot. And when it comes to contact,
be polite speak you know.

Speaker 3 (01:05:43):
In a sense that you know.

Speaker 8 (01:05:46):
That you're not interested.

Speaker 3 (01:05:48):
Yeah, what's the way you're do it? Yeah, and you're
trying to asking that will you marry me?

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
Okay? Jun, I got it up forget. But they're very good, Josh,
what is it unforgetting with brother?

Speaker 3 (01:06:05):
The one that you write?

Speaker 16 (01:06:07):
How do you know that wouldn't be one of the
most perfect futures in your life? Well, wonderful life for him, Josh.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
He could have been Rudelph. But but I don't know.
But I was scared of him and I was a
young woman. Unforgetful. I saw something I was scared unforget
I was. I was afraid.

Speaker 8 (01:06:32):
Thank you I forgetting for that.

Speaker 5 (01:06:34):
Thing.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
Okay, what is it? Unforgetful? His phone hung up?

Speaker 8 (01:06:43):
W D I a father? I don't know, father.

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
Oh, it was such a good day.

Speaker 11 (01:06:55):
Hey you have I think it's a very extreme compliment
for the good to the good for doctor Jeffers, because
she's really it really elevated herselves with somebody got some intellect. Now,
somebody who.

Speaker 19 (01:07:09):
Gotta get hot to be a wonderful, wonderful person with
all the truth that you say. But Gary, do you
realize how many women is who know what you know?
They can exercise that, Gary, you the for you the bomb.

Speaker 9 (01:07:23):
You're a nuclear bom.

Speaker 11 (01:07:24):
You know, I know you already taking them everything. But anyway, girl,
you you you who you are very intensive but attracted
and I hope you can uh receive that feel good
and uh man, I'll see you uh in a lot
of ways. I guess that I met.

Speaker 3 (01:07:43):
Here every val Hello, Hello, all right father? Okay, then bad,
I thought I had lost that.

Speaker 11 (01:07:59):
But anyway, you know, y'all, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:08:04):
You can understand and can explain and can remember.

Speaker 11 (01:08:08):
You also, well you make you make yourself memorize.

Speaker 2 (01:08:19):
You too, followed the future all right, doctor Jeffers, just
two of your favorites. Well, let me tell you about Unforgetful,
he said. Doctor Jeffery said, when we talk about baby,
I'm scared of you. He's scared of women who are

(01:08:39):
coming after him because he doesn't know what their intentions are.
And women should again run after men, should let the
man chase them. Uhh okay, And and saying that doctor
Jeffery and George wrote in Good Afternoon, ladies, I'll start

(01:09:00):
by saying a broken clock is right twice a day.
Doctor Jeffries may be the expert, but I'm being a
man as long as i've been have to agree with
Clyde the broken clock. If a woman chases a man
that is not who the man is putting everything into.
A man that chases that woman will do everything he

(01:09:21):
can to please her. That's the bottom line, period. I
know what he's men. I don't know these men. I
don't know.

Speaker 8 (01:09:33):
You already told them. It's a new day in time.

Speaker 5 (01:09:35):
It is, it is, and well, go on, go on.
Everybody has their right to their opinion.

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
Yes they do.

Speaker 5 (01:09:43):
They do. They have the right to their opinion. And
this is the funny part. Now they're all talking about
the good old days.

Speaker 3 (01:09:52):
Right.

Speaker 5 (01:09:53):
The man did the chasing and got the woman, and
then she couldn't help but be so prayers because he
picked her that she went off and lived happily ever after.
They need to read something about women, okay, because anything
that you read about the psychology of women, even during

(01:10:14):
that era of Victorians dating and all of that, women
had more to say about what happens, when it happened,
how it happened, and if it went any further. So
it doesn't matter. You can pick to chase a woman,
but until she says, yes, chase me, and nothing gonna happen. Right,

(01:10:40):
it's still going to be a cooperative thing. And the
women that they were saying to end up taken back home,
they were going to be at home to be a
wife and a mother, all right, And men could do
whatever they want to do, and women were economically dependent
and had to take it and what have you. And
then there's still some women who don't get that this

(01:11:04):
is not an economic error in our lives where people
are can of afford to be totally dependent on somebody else.
That's why the words cooperative partnerships resonate, where we're both
counter responsible for each other. Even the billionaires, they don't
want you if you don't bring a dime or something

(01:11:26):
to the table or whatever. That's why they make you
sound a free dump. It's okay, but keep chasing, keep chasing.

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
Right right, Hold on, doctor Jeffries. We will break and
I come back and we'll talk more about and tell
these ladies why you baby, I'm scared of you. We're
talking this day with doctor Dorothy Jeffries on Relationship Day
right here.

Speaker 1 (01:11:56):
On w d I Hey, it's the Queen of Talk
Your Girlfriend and Mine. Bem Johnson on w d IA
the Bell.

Speaker 13 (01:12:08):
Josh Hey, wd A Listeners.

Speaker 20 (01:12:31):
Our seventy seventh anniversary celebrations starring the legendary Manhattan's Live
in Concert's going down Friday, November twenty first at the
Renaissian Convention Center. And then we're at the Benefit Solutions
Group DJ booth, which stand the man Bell is going
to be on fire. Sand is ringing the crates and
wants to know your favorite dance song. What's the song

(01:12:54):
that when you hear the first few.

Speaker 2 (01:12:55):
Notes, you san, that's my jail.

Speaker 20 (01:13:01):
Where Go to the talkback mic on the iHeartRadio app
and tell stand your name and your favorite song that
you want to dance too at our seventy seventh anniversary concert.

Speaker 2 (01:13:10):
Stand bail seven you well, WDI listens. I want the
hits from back in the day, Fastsong, Slow Song. Ye'll
be getting our Slow Dragon socially with you.

Speaker 8 (01:13:21):
Live dance song.

Speaker 2 (01:13:22):
Doc Gunner, I'm already ready to flat foot bump this thing.

Speaker 20 (01:13:26):
Get your tickets to our seventy seventh anniversary concert on
sale now at mywd i a dot com. Nobody does
it like the heart and soul of MEPs ten seventy WDA.

Speaker 18 (01:14:05):
You're listening to the Bev Johnson Show. Here's Bev Johnson.

Speaker 2 (01:14:10):
And going back to Dr Dorothy Jeffries, Doctor Jeffries.

Speaker 8 (01:14:15):
And we've been talking about baby.

Speaker 2 (01:14:16):
I'm scared of you and for we hopefully we were
helping some of these ladies out there.

Speaker 5 (01:14:24):
I hate that I couldn't hear the ladies, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:14:27):
I hate you couldn't hear. Well, we got to get
that fixed. We got to get that fixed, sister, Yeah,
all right, but by some ladies were calling in. They
did call in today.

Speaker 5 (01:14:38):
Thank you so much, ladies. And maybe we'll come up
with a topic. But next week that will get you
stirred up and call in again right next week as well.
So I don't really have any any you know, because
I wasn't able to connect enough. But we did another show.
Hope people were listening and hopefully I talked enough. That

(01:15:00):
never usually a problem, right, people will get some ideas
or thoughts. But if you didn't get a chance to
call in, and you think about it later, text bev
or email her for next week or call in and
hopefully I'll be able to hear you and we can
talk about it.

Speaker 2 (01:15:16):
Yeah, yeah, because there are because we didn't really get
into the red flags for women, Doctor Jeffery, right.

Speaker 5 (01:15:24):
Right, So do you want to put that down that
that's what we're gonna do, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:15:28):
Ma'am, talk about the red flags for women.

Speaker 5 (01:15:30):
I'm scared of you, and I'm still scared of That's.

Speaker 8 (01:15:34):
Right, doctor, And I'm still scared of you.

Speaker 5 (01:15:38):
Okay. I will do some more homework to see if
I can come up with some fresh information to add
to the pot.

Speaker 2 (01:15:44):
Sounds good, Dr Jeffries, I appreciate you today, and happy Halloween.
Don't don't get, don't get.

Speaker 8 (01:15:50):
Don't you get scared today?

Speaker 5 (01:15:53):
Let me hang up, boy, I would hang up. Let
me take this opportunity to is my sweetie, my husband
Larry happy seventy five fifth, his seventy fifth, seventy fifth
birthday yesterday?

Speaker 2 (01:16:10):
Oh, happy birthday. But lated's birthday Larry, Wow, and.

Speaker 5 (01:16:16):
It's Zoe where he's still a young man?

Speaker 8 (01:16:22):
Doctor Jay?

Speaker 2 (01:16:23):
You coming up with these songs now, I tell you.

Speaker 5 (01:16:26):
You know, I've been going through old tracks. And what
have you. I'm gonna have to put me a new
playlist together.

Speaker 8 (01:16:31):
That's right, that's right.

Speaker 2 (01:16:33):
Sounds good. Well, Happy belated birthday, Larry. I hope he
had a good day on yesterday.

Speaker 13 (01:16:39):
He did.

Speaker 5 (01:16:39):
I surprised him with a cake that I baked all
by myself.

Speaker 2 (01:16:44):
Oh no, hey, hey, Doc Jeff did you did you
dress up? You're dressing up Zoe today?

Speaker 5 (01:16:50):
Oh, Jesse, don't you know it? And I'm going as
a diva.

Speaker 2 (01:16:55):
Okay, I love it. I love it.

Speaker 9 (01:16:59):
Crowning.

Speaker 8 (01:17:00):
Okay, send me that picture, sister.

Speaker 5 (01:17:04):
Okay, she said, go and said, you don't know my name,
do you?

Speaker 2 (01:17:08):
I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.
Thank you, doctor j Have a good weekend and talk
to you next week. Say baby, I'm still scared of you.

Speaker 5 (01:17:19):
You're scared of you?

Speaker 2 (01:17:20):
All right?

Speaker 8 (01:17:21):
All right?

Speaker 2 (01:17:21):
Thank you, Doctor Jank you you too, Bye bye. That
is our behavioral relationship consultant, Doctor Dorothy Jeffries.

Speaker 5 (01:17:32):
The views and opinions discussed on the BEV Johnson Show
are that of the hosts and callers, and not those
of the staff and sponsors of w d I A.

Speaker 2 (01:17:57):
We want to thank you callers, we want to thank
thank you listeners for joining us this day on the
BEV Johnson Show. We do, we really do appreciate you.
So until tomorrow, please be safe, keep a cool head, y'all,

(01:18:17):
don't let anyone steal your joy. Until tomorrow, I'm BEB
Johnson and y'all keep the faith. Mark Baker take Me
Home Boyfriend,