June 20, 2025 • 49 mins
Real Men taking care of their health is the topic of conversation with Dr. Dorothy Jeffries, Behavioral Relationship Consultant on The Bev Johnson Show on WDIA Radio.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Be don't show Bell time with this talking and home away.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Help you go, you go, don't getting ready.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
In time show Joe, Let's go Bell, justn't.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Will you make your day by here?
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Wrong?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Wud listen to what to say?
Speaker 4 (00:33):
You know it's Tapa Bel just show tap of the
belt of show.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Let's go.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Good afternoon, and welcome back to w D I A.
We are rocking and rolling on this Friday, as we
say around here, Friday June the twentieth, twenty twenty five.
Enjoyed this fabulous day to day relationship day. We had
a good relationship day to day. Yes, we do relationship day.
(01:14):
We talk about relationships to help make yours healthy, happy, wholesome,
wonderful and most of our loving between consenting adults.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
We are getting ready to do that. Yeah, she's in.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
The house, our expert, our behavioral relationship consultant, doctor Dorothy Jeffries,
back in the house. She's so sweet and kind, She's
just she said, I let these other guests.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Come in first because this is important.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Welcome in, good afternoon, doctor Jeffries.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
How are you good afternoon, and it's excellent to be
in the house with you today.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Bell, Well, thank you, thank you. Thank you, doctor Jeffries.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
I know, thank you so much for giving up your
little time when we talked a few minutes ago where
they're calling all men, doctor Jeffries, the Heart and soul.
They're having a men's wellness collective tomorrow and you probably
heard of Pastor Keith Norman, and we had Michael Ji
White and his lovely wife Gilly and White.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
That were in there, going to be there tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
But I know you were listening and and it is
so important, not only they were talking about physical help,
but what we're going to talk about, doctor Jeffries. You
know you say where the real men? That mental health
so important, doctor Jeffries, Why that mental and then ask
the question where the real men?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Where are the real men?
Speaker 5 (02:30):
Well, you know that seems to be a lingering conversation
that people are always clarified. I want to find a
genuine woman. I want to find a real man. And
what old folks like us you tend to say, this
is ground folks talk now, because what we're seeing and
witnessing is that there are a lot of chronologically older
(02:54):
people out there living their lives, living on the edge,
being irresponsible, being non accountable, and not anticipating that as
the days in the years pass, if they are so
fortunate to still be here. There's some responsible things that
grown people do to take care of themselves. You know.
(03:16):
We set goals like I want to hear the hundreds,
you know, to live, that's my goal. I want to
be in the best and most reasonable help I can expect.
And so we don't wait until you know we're in
crisis to start thinking about what do I need to do.
And that's why an opportunity like tomorrow's.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
In you.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
For black men, bell for men, and to come out
and to take advantage. First of all, it's free, and
we need to access anything that's free that's in our
well being, whether it's mental, physical, or emotional, any kind
of health that's going to increase our longevity. We need
(04:00):
to go after it and go after there to be
prepared to be serious, because at some point you will
realize out of all the childish things.
Speaker 6 (04:11):
You've gone, all the adolescent.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Mistakes you made, all the things in the group regrets
you have, if you have compromised your help, particularly your
physical or mental health, then you have a situation.
Speaker 6 (04:24):
And not all situations are easy to resolve.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
So I encourage you to take advantage and go out there,
go buy so you at least know what something like
that looks like, even if you say I got this
to do, because at a time when you may need it,
it may.
Speaker 6 (04:40):
Not be available.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
And then if you go out there and gain some
knowledge about it, then you know where to start looking contacts.
Speaker 6 (04:47):
And all of that to follow up with.
Speaker 5 (04:49):
So that's my commercial for that, and that's why I
shared and Viv's decision to have them on first, because
I do know that that's very important.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I'm so glad you said that, doctor jeffer Is because
I always say that when there is something like that,
a wellness collective, you know, physical, mental, and it's free
and go get go and get the information, get the
check outs, get the free screenings.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
It is good.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
And what they're doing, I love this, Doctor Jeffery. They
say they love women, but they're calling our men. They're
calling me men, men to come out because men have
a lot of problems, physical and mental.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Absolutely, and one of the things that generationally, specifically culturally
in our society, men are weird or raised distinctly different
than women. Men are raised during the time of slavery
(06:00):
and thereafter, men were raised kind of in a different lane,
if you will, because they were viewed as the threat.
They were the threat, They were the visible threat to
the safety of Caucasian families and others. They were viewed
as the threat that would harm people, that would rob you,
(06:24):
that would do all of these criminals or things that
were just terribly wrong, and there was no justice for
accusations being made, and so maternally we then assumed the
role to protect these young boys and men because there
(06:45):
was no there was no jury or cord or anything
that would give them justices. So we tried to protect
them and keep them in that lane where they were
not as visible, you know, because.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
If you're viewed or seen, then the option.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
The decision is going to be you did it, and
then there were the severe consequences for that. But we
never shifted in terms of how we began to raise
our boys, where our expectations then showed them how to
carry themselves as responsible young men who had the potential
(07:23):
to live the same life and access resources and opportunities
as any other young men. We did not do that
as consistently as we could have and should have.
Speaker 6 (07:37):
Those who had.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Resources, I would say middle class and ups had the
opportunity because they may have more income coming in. They
tried to establish more stable environments and they created within
their groups volunteer organizations, beginning in the church, phivic groups,
(07:58):
community groups.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Made groups.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
They kind of circled around their children, and as a village,
if you will, began to try to shape how both
male girls and boys could look or move forward. But
and I always go back to this because this is
the thing that just radiates so.
Speaker 6 (08:20):
Clearly in my mind.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
When the drug epidemic landed on the black community, and
first it was heroin, and then it was cracked everything
that we had established, the values, the virtues, the boundaries,
the expectations just went straight to hell. And there was
no place, no family, no group, no amount of money
(08:47):
or class or anything that you represented that protected you there.
So the stereotypes were you had to be a lower
class black person and you were exposed to all these
drugs and crime and what happened. But when the truth
was told, drugs created from the highest, most educated, lightest
(09:10):
broughtless down to the ones who had absolutely nothing, and
because of that, it was devastating. But the thing I
think that was probably the most harmful. There were many after,
many young families that had the benefit of elders who
lived nearby, sometimes in the house with you, sometimes just
(09:33):
a city or a state, a couple of places away,
at least by letter, a phone calls where you could
communicate and here's some wisdom about how.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
You handle things.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
How you could say, we're having these problems, and an
elder male would pull your spouse or your brother aside
of your child's side and give them counsel and wisdom.
And so we tried to shift it and crack their
drug epidemic impacted the women in the family. Then everything,
(10:09):
the whole background was large, and I think because of
that we are still reverberating from that. So we've got
two generations now of young people who have not had
the benefits of a wholesome, grounded, well structured society and
(10:31):
neighborhood community and sometimes families where we had standards, we
have values, we have expectations, and we have.
Speaker 6 (10:39):
Adults who care for you, who cover you, who.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
Discipline you, and who model what it is that you
need in order to just make a stretch as an
adult so where you can live to be grown folks.
And when you get to that talking about caring for
your health. You know, if you've engaged in any kind
of addictive behavior, health is so far from what it
(11:07):
is that you're trying to manage that it devastates everything else.
Because you see what people look like after they.
Speaker 6 (11:15):
Have been addicted to drugs.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
You know, the hygiene, the it impacts the body in
terms of ravaging the skin, losing the teeth, and we're
not even talking about the mental the mental trauma that
people go through trying to serve that addiction. And then
economically where regardless if you had a high school education
(11:41):
or a college education, you could find a job, You
could find a job, and you could plan a life
with a family, and you could have a family and
a moder's income and still raise a decent living. But
now we have to go back to the basics and
we have to celebrate health. We have to model health.
(12:02):
We have to really really begin to build and construct
systems that give us environments where we can have children
reared in good, mentally healthy environments where the adults around
them are responsible, willingly, so accountable to their actions, they
(12:27):
do not do create or manufacture any kind of situations
that threatens the livelihood of the family that they're trying
to raise, meaning that they don't engage in addictive behaviors,
they don't engage in violent behaviors. They're encourage and mind
their kids to read. They provide good health access for
(12:51):
their children. They work with another parent so that they
provide a stable for real environments for their children. They
support the school, they provide some kind of spiritual structure,
and all of that sounds like, oh, it's overwhelming, but
we know it is possible because we lived it in
(13:12):
spite of everything and everybody else being against us. So
thinking along those terms, what do real men want and
what how do real men show up? Well, maybe how
do real men learn how to be real men so
that we can begin the rebuilding that we need to do.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, and and doing that rebuilding.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
And one of the things Doctor Jeffers and I know
you've you've seen many clientsespecially men, you know, the mental part,
and and and as and I love what what what
my guests had to say earlier? Dr Jeffries Gillian White,
and Gillian says she believes in therapy. She believes in
(14:00):
going to therapists. You know, if you need some help,
you go go seek out some help. But you know,
I'm in still they have that stigma and she was
saying that you're not crazy, No, you're trying to get
better yourself. And is it still like that, doctor Jeffer's
men don't want to go see a therapist, they don't
(14:21):
want to get the help.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Or men do not trust the current systems.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
Okay, because the systems have not served them.
Speaker 5 (14:33):
Well, Okay, when you think in terms of let's start
with the educational system. When young boys go into the
educational system and they happen to be young black males,
then they go in.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
Let's say that they have they're.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
A little bit stout, or they're taller, or they're darker,
or they're a little more rowdy, you know, in physical
in terms of their presence, they then begin to be
labeled with attributes that they put on their school records
that follow them throughout. In some cases, when they're in
(15:12):
environments where they have teachers, and they have teachers who
are not have not been educated in the environments that
particularly urban and sometimes extreme rural communities are sending these
kids into school that they're not familiar with the environment
(15:33):
where their students come from. It's like They're speaking one
language to somebody who's never heard that language, and they
have no compassion or understanding that until they are provided
with the structure, learn how to self calm themselves, learn
how to mediate conflict. Then they react, you know, rather
(15:57):
than responding. They talk out. There is no inside boys.
You know, they use profanity because that's the language they may.
Speaker 6 (16:05):
Have heard, you know, or they don't talk at all.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
There was a period when I was working with Headstars
kids that were coming in and one thing that I
had not been aware of was there there are so
many young black males now going into headstarts who are
technically mute. Is not that they don't talk.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
I mean, it's not that.
Speaker 5 (16:30):
They can't talk, but nobody talks to them. They have
been raised being set in front of a TV or
video game. There's no dialogue or interaction. People talk at them,
but they don't talk to them. And so what happens
when they come to school and headstarts they may be
(16:51):
labeled or referred to a speech person because they haven't
learned to use their words, have not listened and connected
words of communications to them, so they get referred to
hearing specialists. They sometimes have to just kind of self
contain you, not the hell out of somebody that's messing
(17:13):
with your remote or messages with something of yours, as
opposed to mediating behavior and getting them to dialogue about it.
So physicality is what they know, but that works against them.
And then when you grow up with that and the
labels become more drastic, you have the situation that we're
dealing with in so many urban communities now. If a
(17:38):
young man has no concept of who he is, where
he belongs, who cares for him, no memory of a constant,
consistent person who acknowledged them validated him, and he felt
(17:59):
that he could go to talk to whether it was
bad or good be corrected by. If there is no
memory of that, their child is not likely to have
very much compassion nor humanity. And so it really ticks
me off when I hear all these people talking about
these kids, these young kids, Where the hell did they
(18:21):
come from? They didn't just pop up. There was no
spaceship that landed and put them here. They are the
chickens that Malcolm talked about. They have come home to roosts.
You cannot produce products that you have, no provisions for them,
no intent to raise them, to guide them, to teach them,
(18:43):
and to model them.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
If you don't have that in place, then you've.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
Created a grave disservice to those young people, and you
seek the repercussions from them. There's no attachment to life
because nobody's ever bedne their life. There's no expectation that
I can dream, that I can grow, that I can do.
Nobody's ever given me. Nobody's planted dreams to me. Nobody
(19:08):
ever read a story to me or sang a song
to me. Older males pop you in the chest if
you start crying because you hurt because you're not acting
like a man. You're too but they want you.
Speaker 6 (19:19):
To act like a man. Your nickname is little.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Man, you know. And so, and we're just talking about
the boys and the men. Now, yeah, and I'll tell
you there are a lot of people that say, but
that's not all black boy.
Speaker 6 (19:33):
No, it's not all black boys.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
But these are the ones that are in the headlines.
These are the statistics that we're reading about. These are
the reports on the news where you find out what
sounds like ridiculous stuff that these young people are doing
because they have no fear. They have no fear of life.
They have no fear of death, so they're gonna do
(19:56):
whatever what kids do when there's no discipline place. And
now they have access to all kinds of resources and
what have you. You know, they can go out and
get guns and weapons that adults don't know where you
go to get them. And so when they start behaving
like older adults when they're still children, they have children,
(20:18):
and so the cycle is completed. And I just you know,
and this is why I always preach this. And I
know I'm preaching now and I can hear mad when
you preaching, Okay, but it's just this is just something
that I just have held onto for the longest.
Speaker 6 (20:36):
It's just so unfair.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
If we could come up through a segregated society where
it was obvious that nobody wanted anything for us other
than to use, misuse, or take advantage of us. And
I'm talking about black people, and we still have people
who were able to bloom, who were able to grow,
who went through situations so that other people can come
(21:01):
behind us, the young people coming behind us. Grandparents, you know,
great grandparents who gave up their lives, who prayed and
stuff for us, And here we are today, who's praying
for these young kids, you know, and do we even
know what to pray for? You know, So we're in
an epidemic. You know. When I hear Norman red.
Speaker 6 (21:25):
Wing coming on and he keeps talking about what he's doing.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Over at the building, some people here, some people hear
the drum calls, and that's what Warren is preaching about
when he comes on and he talks about, you got
to learn how to think, You got to learn how
to see for yourself. That's critical thinking.
Speaker 6 (21:41):
Yes, you know, there's.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Some basic things that we're missing as adults and that
we can't teach our children if we don't know it.
That's right, and so that's why, after all these years,
that's what we do.
Speaker 6 (21:52):
We come on and we say.
Speaker 5 (21:53):
The same things, and we keep and we say if
we say it alone enough and if you're sitting in
that chair and we have the airtime to do it,
maybe somebody will hear it. You know, maybe somebody will
hear it.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
And I know doctor Jeffery and some folks have heard it,
but we will hopefully that more and more people.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Will hear it.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
Well, here's the thing, here's the thing. They hear it.
But you can't just say, oh Lord, what happened to
these cheers? What we're gonna do about these children? At
some point we have to start making some commitments to
do some things with nothing expected back except giving time,
you know, supporting organizations they're getting out there, trying to
do mentorship and hold them accountable to do what it
(22:39):
is they say they're going to do with the children.
So that's one of the things. So it comes up,
and it shows up in our adult relationships. If you've
never had it, how can you know what it is
you want? And if you meet somebody else who never
got it, only have got it, then you got two
(23:01):
people coming together trying to create a life, looking for
happiness and they don't know where to begin.
Speaker 6 (23:07):
And that's what I think.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
That's one of the first things that there are people
out there who hear it and understand it, and how
do we share that knowledge of what we've learned. How
do we set up systems that we can begin to
work with, you know, the schools, the churches, the communities
where we.
Speaker 6 (23:25):
Set it up.
Speaker 5 (23:25):
Nobody's going to do it for us.
Speaker 7 (23:27):
And we know that.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Nobody's going to give us money in and more for
things that we dream up but have we reached enough
of a crisis that it's time.
Speaker 6 (23:37):
For us to do it for ourselves? Or can we
do it for ourselves? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Good point. Hold on, doctor Jeffries. We'll continue.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
We're asking what do real men do and what do
real men want? We're talking if you have a question
or two four, doctor Jeffries, we do invite you to
call five three five, nine three four two one hundred
five zero three nine three four two eight three three
(24:05):
five three five nine three four two will.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Get you in to us. You're listening to Double d
i A.
Speaker 8 (24:16):
Whether you're in Arkansas, Tennessee, or Mississippi on Facebook, Twitter,
or Instagram. Thank you for listening to the Bev Johnson
Show on Double d i A Memphis.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
The Bev jes Show.
Speaker 8 (25:14):
You're listening to the Bev Johnson Show. Here's Bev Johnson.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
And we're talking aware of the real men when it
comes to health and mental health with doctor Dorothy Jeffries.
Doctor Jeffries, I'm going to our phone lines to talk
to some of our listeners.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
W D I A high caller.
Speaker 9 (25:33):
Bell, thanks for taking my car. This black conservative how
yat today?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Doing well? Black conservative?
Speaker 9 (25:37):
Yes, Doctor Jefferes mentioned about behavior pattern of kids in school,
black kids in school, special ones who don't have teachers
who can identify with their with their environment. I think
(26:01):
that's a little bit of it, but for the most part, uh,
that's not gonna change much of the h.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
What do you think it isative? What do you think
it is?
Speaker 9 (26:20):
I think it's pretty much have to do with behavior modification.
It's something that needs to behind the outside of the
school classroom, not inside. I don't think most teachers who
go to school for four years, uh, come out psychologists
to deal with behavior of modification. That's not their specialty
(26:42):
field expertise. I get an example, the University Mississippi Old Miss.
Majority of their staff or you know, white or whatever.
They're not black professors and so forth. That's where their
graduation rate stands. Is that fifty nine percent it Old
(27:03):
Miss fifty nine? Oh Man's fifty nine percent period.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
You're so white, you're saying it's fifty nine percent period
of all the students that are ten old.
Speaker 10 (27:12):
Miss fifty nine percent if they go there for sixty
year graduates, like it's probably about sixty nine percent. Four
year graduates around about fifty four percent as of now
they graduation where the fictional stands around about fifty four
percent something like that. So your point is, so it
doesn't matter why you have all black, all black staff,
(27:34):
uh employee teachers are all white.
Speaker 9 (27:38):
It all boys down to behavior modification. If they don't
want to learn, they're not going to learn. You can
have Barack Obama and Michelle Obama teaching. They're not gonna
learn anything if they don't want to learn.
Speaker 11 (27:53):
So when you.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
When you say okay, when you say.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
So, I'm saying. What I'm saying is that what you need.
It's not more white teachers in a particular neighborhood of
community here are more blacks, but you need it's more
qualified teachers there to be able to educate them and
get them across the finish line, the gold line. Okay,
we got we got two hundred and seventeen or more
(28:19):
black politician, more than we had in.
Speaker 10 (28:22):
Nineteen seventy two. And look at what's going on now. Okay,
he ain't fixed the problem.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Well, okay, thank you black.
Speaker 12 (28:29):
You do have a point.
Speaker 9 (28:30):
If you do have a point, though.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I'm going to ask doctor Jefferies, thank you black conservative.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
I don't know if that percentage is right, but I'm
still trying to get his his reasoning on that.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Go on, doctor Jeffrey.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
What do you say? I can't get his reasoning on that,
but I have no idea what he was talking about, right.
I never introduced the only issue around race that I introduced,
and I was speaking only about black children as their environs.
And I never said that you had to recruit Caucasian
teachers in order for them to learn. We didn't Haveasian
(29:06):
teachers when I was going to go until I was
ready to graduate, and they busted the white teachers in
so up until.
Speaker 6 (29:15):
That time, good well trained, competent.
Speaker 5 (29:19):
Teachers who understood where their children were coming from were
able to teach. And we didn't have one hundred percent
perfect teachers either, but the majority of them had enough
common sense and cared enough about Even the ones who
may not have even really enjoyed teachers, they had to
(29:41):
show up and do their jobs. Because every school had
older teachers, experienced teachers who were quality can checks. They
would check those young teachers themselves and the.
Speaker 6 (29:54):
Principles to make them accountable.
Speaker 5 (29:56):
And that's how you get oriented, oriented into is this
to work for me or not? So no, he confused
me a lot time. I'm talking about behavior modification based
on what stide with the baby baby teaching. Baby parents
are not all people are trained in baby house modification either.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I agree. I didn't know who's coming from.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
All right, hold on Dashvia Jeffreys w D I a
hi caller.
Speaker 7 (30:26):
Yeah, Lucy, Bootsy, good morning care. Everybody have a prior.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Hey Boots, happy Friday and to.
Speaker 7 (30:31):
You, Hey, doctor Jeffery.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
She says, hello, What do you say, Bootsy?
Speaker 7 (30:37):
I'll say, when you ask that question about what a
man want to do, a man should want to become, well,
a man should be wanting to become more of a
creator to better his life. In general, whatever a man
needs to do, he needs to look forward to as
(30:58):
being a man in order to take care of all
responsibility of what a man should do and how he's
supposed to do it in moderation. So my question, we'll
go to doctor Jeffery. What do you think that a
man should really truly do?
Speaker 5 (31:18):
Uh?
Speaker 7 (31:18):
Do he need to become more of a creator by
doing things to help himself to uh to live a
better life?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Okay?
Speaker 7 (31:29):
In general?
Speaker 4 (31:29):
All right, thank you Bootsy for the question. We'll get
to Doctor Jeffrey's I'll go to Unforgetful.
Speaker 12 (31:36):
Beave Johnson another great show, especially that first one that
you had. I'm telling you, I love it. I love
thank you Hey, I love listening to these shows that
you have, Miss john and Doctor Jeffery. I'm gonna tell you,
baby girl, I love what you said when you start
out the show because everything you say is correct one
(32:00):
hundred percent. I agree with every word out of your mouth,
everything you say because the first shover they missed a word.
I couldn't understand when you say the experiencing part, Doctor
jeff We need to work on that problem right there,
because it seemed like the spirituality in this.
Speaker 7 (32:22):
World is gone.
Speaker 12 (32:25):
It's so simple. I mean, you know it's something wrong
with you trying to educate yourself about your health. You know,
you got to listen to the voices of other people
educate yourself, and you know, things so easy.
Speaker 6 (32:39):
It takes care.
Speaker 12 (32:40):
Of yourself when you can look at when I look
at my grandmama coming to the table and eat and
telling me to sit over there. I noticed when she
was old, you know, Tuesday in the eighties and solf
and she had a little portion of food and in
the Bible they saying something about, you know, people eating
so much. I don't know what the word is what
(33:00):
a verse here? But it's sad that I mean, it's
just things that we just look over and don't understand.
But I like I say, doctor Jeffer, I appreciate everything
you say. And miss Johnson and your words. You need
to stop this day the girl old folks mess up people.
I'm not gonna say kids. You know where I'm coming from,
(33:22):
but I'm just throwing that out there and I'm out
of here.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Take you, I forget. But what my words are Adults
mess up children? Hey, Frank, Hi, Frank.
Speaker 7 (33:34):
What are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (33:35):
I'm doing well, Frank.
Speaker 11 (33:36):
Oh, how you doing?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I'm doing well. What do you say?
Speaker 11 (33:40):
Oh, it's gonna be It's gonna be okay. You know
this is two things that remind me, uh the boy
that cry would and that you know every time you
lie your nose you remember those little those two things.
You know, every time you lie, your nose supposed to grow.
But anyway, you know you're right padoki yo. You know,
(34:04):
we as a whole are in so much trouble because
we keep running from the truth and and to the
young ladies. That's speaking. You can make a very very
lovely part of soup. But you but when you leave
out that man and reading that soup is just ain't tasted.
(34:25):
But let me say this, let me say this, people
a real man. He's he do what he do what
the Lord say. Get you your equally yoke, that's the first.
That's reason he took.
Speaker 7 (34:40):
Your real And then when you get.
Speaker 11 (34:43):
That, you respect that. You don't make nothing. If God
tell you to leave your mama and daddy, then you
don't try to show man nothing. Because your wife is
looking at you.
Speaker 7 (34:55):
You are one.
Speaker 11 (34:57):
You are one man married men, you and your wife
are worn. And when you get out of line, trying
to you know is wrong. We all know right I'm wrong.
But you wanna please man. It's in the Bible. By
pleasing man, look, tell the truth. So you can help
(35:17):
that man. Tell the truth. People start telling these folks
the truth. Hold these people accountable so you can really
help them.
Speaker 7 (35:26):
Because we're in some serious trouble.
Speaker 11 (35:29):
The devil is on the move and God is too.
So I mean, it ain't no more one side of stuff.
It's gonna be all or nothing. And that's what we're
looking at every day and y'all head like, y'all don't
see it. Stop line with people, Stop trying to avoid
the truth about what's really going on. Everything that's going on,
(35:54):
been going on since day one. But we won't punch it.
Were gonna go around it, gonna do it. No punch it.
Speaker 12 (36:03):
That's the only way you're gonna get it out.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
You got to put it out.
Speaker 11 (36:07):
The truth set the world free, right, And as long
as we keep going around and punching and looking at
all the wrong things, it ain't gonna have. It just
ain't gonna happen. We're gonna be in so much trouble.
All right, Thank you, Frank, thank you already there all right.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
One of the things, Doctor Jeffers, I will go back
and and unforgetful and Boosy they talked about Boosy talk
about me and should be creators.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (36:32):
I think we already that and and one of the
things that uh that I'm forgetful that says that me
and we've lost spirituality and is that part of our
mental health?
Speaker 5 (36:45):
Absolutely, And I think Boosy has is onto something okay
that if you you have to when you have a child,
and you're raising that child up.
Speaker 6 (36:56):
You are teaching that child by my and what you want.
Speaker 5 (37:01):
Them to internalize, and teaching them to look and learn
to know themselves and so that they understand what they need.
Speaker 6 (37:09):
How do I calm myself down? How do I seek
love and affection?
Speaker 5 (37:13):
How do I how do I figure out what my
purpose is? How do I understand how I need to
be taught? And all the more you teach a child
how to do self reflection and to hear what it
is you're trying to do, you're offering guidance. Then they
have the ability to create because they are the creator.
(37:35):
They're the ones that set the seeds and motions to
produce more. And you want the creator to be as
strong and as healthy and as sane and as sober
as possible. And that's male or female. But it begins
with the child. And you're right. When you have lazy parents,
(37:55):
when you have absent parents, when you have parents who
are just playing around with stuff like that, they then
create what we deal with. But the goal is for
boys and girls to learn that they have the potential
to be creators and to honor that find out what
(38:17):
your purpose is. Here everybody here has a purpose. Find
out how do you pursue that purpose?
Speaker 6 (38:23):
Because the purpose.
Speaker 5 (38:24):
That you pursue that brings you joy and enlightening is
what's going to give you happiness. And then when you
know yourself well enough, then you're ready to go out
and find your person you know, or to be ready
to receive your person. Two people just don't go wandering.
Speaker 6 (38:43):
Around in the woods and bump into each other.
Speaker 5 (38:46):
No, not out, even if it's descline that you belong together.
Do your work first. And there are a lot of
people who still roaming around lost because they don't want
to put the time and energy into figuring out what's
wrong with me? You need to figure out and ask
the questions, why am I unhappy? Why am I so depressed?
(39:09):
Why do I overeat? Why do I overspend? Why can't
I maintain a relationship? Why don't I have friends? Why
can't I get along with any boy?
Speaker 6 (39:16):
You know?
Speaker 5 (39:17):
All of those kinds of things. And then, like friends
that tell the truth, tell the truth to yourself. So
I get these last ones had a message that summed
it up. You gotta be able to tell the truth,
and it has to be grounded in spirituality. And when
I'm talking about spirituality. I am not talking about a
(39:37):
specific religion. We get caught up in religious dogma that
has all these rules and structures and things. You need
to get in tune with your spirituality, which is also
a part of guiding you towards your purpose. The spiritual
part of you is the light that will show you
(39:59):
what your this is and shine the light on the
person you're supposed to be with. But you have to
do your work first, love. And I've been saying this
for thirty plus years.
Speaker 12 (40:09):
Thirty eight got to work thirty eight forty years.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
I know, yeah, and you're right, and I wanted this
email and AC will ask this question, and interestingly talking,
he says that please ask doctor Jefferies if our families
did better under segregation or integration.
Speaker 6 (40:32):
You know, and I think it all depends.
Speaker 5 (40:34):
We were limited during segregation, and we were forced to.
Speaker 6 (40:38):
Become self reliant, and we were.
Speaker 5 (40:41):
Forced in many instances to be more supportive of each other,
so we had to collaborate. We have had to do
things in coalition because there was a targeted enemy that
was not for any of us. But then when when
we should have benefited from integration, which meant we had
(41:04):
access to more. We talked everything that we had done
to build unity in the community. We talked there and
went out and tried to adapt into an environment that
was still foreign to us. We failed to bring a
lot of our roots with us, our spirituality, our knowledge
(41:27):
of self, our cultural our rituals, and our value as
we knew it of ourselves. Because if you lose your
knowledge of value self, people can call you anything, tell
you anything, and convince you to believe in anything. And
I think that's exactly where we are.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (41:49):
So as we get ready to wrap up this, doctor Jefferson,
we were speaking about men today, and let me again
encourage encourage you fellas. Tomorrow go to the Agri Center
for the Heart and Soul Men Wellness Collective, because as
you heard, they're going to be talking physical and mental health.
(42:09):
Doctor Jeffery starts at eight thirty in the morning. Clear
and so get what you need, Get get what you need.
Isn't that right, doctor Jefferies.
Speaker 5 (42:21):
Absolutely a closed mouth cannot be fed.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
That's right, sister. I know.
Speaker 4 (42:28):
So you you you say you're a real man, and
what real man? Go there tomorrow because they want to
help men mentally, physically, spiritually.
Speaker 5 (42:40):
And you know what, one of the things we all
need help.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
We do.
Speaker 5 (42:45):
We all need help. So even if you feel like
you're doing all right, that you know everything, you got
it all together, go anyway and either validate that.
Speaker 6 (42:53):
You know everything or learn something.
Speaker 5 (42:55):
But go you will feel. You will feel some karate,
read and stuff, just to be in environment with other
men and you all are their seeking the same thing.
But what the real men want. They want the same
thing that any other healthy.
Speaker 6 (43:11):
Normally adult male wants.
Speaker 5 (43:14):
Respect, trust, honesty, fidelity, and stability and the opportunity to
take care of his own. That's right, But you gotta
understand what's what the challenges are that may be in
your way and how you pursue those things.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Good and get yeah, go get I love the doctor
Jeff's go get fed.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
And one of the things that Pastor Norman said, And
I love this, they're gonna have therapists on the site
mm hm and so men will be able and I
get and I get this. I love this because I
remember when you used to have your men's group that
you know, man can be able to bond and they'll
be able to talk.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
You know, they're just telling the ladies get your get
your husband's there, your boyfriend, you, your your.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Friend, male friends, you get that so they can and
as doctor Jeffrey said, they can be fed because they're
gonna have all what you need there tomorrow. And it
sponsored doctor Jeffers, which I love it by Baptist Hospital.
Speaker 5 (44:15):
I know.
Speaker 6 (44:16):
I am just impressed.
Speaker 5 (44:18):
And you know something, go even if you don't feel
like it. Go if you don't go so you can
see how they do it, and then you can replicate
that in your community. That's one way that you can
begin to see how do we take us offer to
us and see what we can use and rewave so
that it makes sense in our communities. That's how we
(44:39):
begin to find our roots again and come together.
Speaker 4 (44:42):
Just go, go, go, and we should see that agricenter
should be packed tomorrow exactly.
Speaker 5 (44:48):
You know, when you go and you show people that
you want it, that you need it, and you will
support it, you may get something more or build upon that.
And you got a black man who organizing that. Yeah
the brother, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Support the brother. Come on, y'all.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
Thank you, doctor j Any of the last words you'd
like to say to our fellows out there, I.
Speaker 5 (45:11):
Still believe in you even when I'm fussing, I still
believe in it.
Speaker 6 (45:15):
I tell you I love my people. I love my people.
Speaker 5 (45:18):
So y'all do well, be well, and take care of Memphis.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
All right, Doctor Jeffrey, Thank you, Doctor Jeffries. Have a
fabulous weekend. Look forward to talking to you next week.
Speaker 6 (45:28):
All right.
Speaker 5 (45:29):
I'll see you on the radio.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
All right, Doctor Jeffries, Bye bye bye. I love doctor Jeffrey.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
Doctor Jeffries is our behavioral relationship consultant. And you heard
her words today. Yeah, y'all go out tomorrow and also
on Sunday. Let me remind you then you go there
tomorrow on Saturday, men, he go go see Norman. On
Sunday they're having Blacktastic Bingo. It's gonna be for everybody,
(45:57):
you know, everybody, come on out Sunday at the Benjamin L.
Hooks Central Library, thirty thirty Poplar. It starts at two
o'clock to four thirty. Gonna you probably gonna see miss Beverly,
Nurse Beverly at The event is for retired working teachers,
counsel the grandmothers, pastors, preachers.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Y'all come on out and be with Norman.
Speaker 4 (46:18):
It's the African Village annual Blantastic Being Goal is.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Fun on Sunday.
Speaker 4 (46:24):
Something to Do Nice on Sunday at two pm, four
point thirty at the Benjamin L. Hooks Library. It's been
a good day to day, Yes, it's been a good day.
Calling all men tomorrow at the Agri Center starting at
eight thirty one.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Y'all get that wellness all right, it's been a good week.
Speaker 4 (46:48):
I thank you callers, I thank you listeners for joining
me this day on the Bev Johnson Show. We do,
we really do appreciate you. So until tomorrow, please be safe,
keep a cool head. Y'all gonna let anyone steal your joy.
(47:09):
Until tomorrow, I'm Bev Johnson, and y'all keep the faith.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Mark Baker, take me Home, boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (47:22):
The fuse and opinions discussed on The Bev Johnson Show
are that of the hosts and Carls and not those
of the staff and sponsors of w d I A U.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
S SP.
Be don't show Bell time with this talking and home away.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Help you go, you go, don't getting ready.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
In time show Joe, Let's go Bell, justn't.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Will you make your day by here?
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Wrong?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Wud listen to what to say?
Speaker 4 (00:33):
You know it's Tapa Bel just show tap of the
belt of show.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Let's go.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Good afternoon, and welcome back to w D I A.
We are rocking and rolling on this Friday, as we
say around here, Friday June the twentieth, twenty twenty five.
Enjoyed this fabulous day to day relationship day. We had
a good relationship day to day. Yes, we do relationship day.
(01:14):
We talk about relationships to help make yours healthy, happy, wholesome,
wonderful and most of our loving between consenting adults.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
We are getting ready to do that. Yeah, she's in.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
The house, our expert, our behavioral relationship consultant, doctor Dorothy Jeffries,
back in the house. She's so sweet and kind, She's
just she said, I let these other guests.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Come in first because this is important.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
Welcome in, good afternoon, doctor Jeffries.
Speaker 5 (01:41):
How are you good afternoon, and it's excellent to be
in the house with you today.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Bell, Well, thank you, thank you. Thank you, doctor Jeffries.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
I know, thank you so much for giving up your
little time when we talked a few minutes ago where
they're calling all men, doctor Jeffries, the Heart and soul.
They're having a men's wellness collective tomorrow and you probably
heard of Pastor Keith Norman, and we had Michael Ji
White and his lovely wife Gilly and White.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
That were in there, going to be there tomorrow.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
But I know you were listening and and it is
so important, not only they were talking about physical help,
but what we're going to talk about, doctor Jeffries. You
know you say where the real men? That mental health
so important, doctor Jeffries, Why that mental and then ask
the question where the real men?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Where are the real men?
Speaker 5 (02:30):
Well, you know that seems to be a lingering conversation
that people are always clarified. I want to find a
genuine woman. I want to find a real man. And
what old folks like us you tend to say, this
is ground folks talk now, because what we're seeing and
witnessing is that there are a lot of chronologically older
(02:54):
people out there living their lives, living on the edge,
being irresponsible, being non accountable, and not anticipating that as
the days in the years pass, if they are so
fortunate to still be here. There's some responsible things that
grown people do to take care of themselves. You know.
(03:16):
We set goals like I want to hear the hundreds,
you know, to live, that's my goal. I want to
be in the best and most reasonable help I can expect.
And so we don't wait until you know we're in
crisis to start thinking about what do I need to do.
And that's why an opportunity like tomorrow's.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
In you.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
For black men, bell for men, and to come out
and to take advantage. First of all, it's free, and
we need to access anything that's free that's in our
well being, whether it's mental, physical, or emotional, any kind
of health that's going to increase our longevity. We need
(04:00):
to go after it and go after there to be
prepared to be serious, because at some point you will
realize out of all the childish things.
Speaker 6 (04:11):
You've gone, all the adolescent.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Mistakes you made, all the things in the group regrets
you have, if you have compromised your help, particularly your
physical or mental health, then you have a situation.
Speaker 6 (04:24):
And not all situations are easy to resolve.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
So I encourage you to take advantage and go out there,
go buy so you at least know what something like
that looks like, even if you say I got this
to do, because at a time when you may need it,
it may.
Speaker 6 (04:40):
Not be available.
Speaker 5 (04:42):
And then if you go out there and gain some
knowledge about it, then you know where to start looking contacts.
Speaker 6 (04:47):
And all of that to follow up with.
Speaker 5 (04:49):
So that's my commercial for that, and that's why I
shared and Viv's decision to have them on first, because
I do know that that's very important.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Yeah, and.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I'm so glad you said that, doctor jeffer Is because
I always say that when there is something like that,
a wellness collective, you know, physical, mental, and it's free
and go get go and get the information, get the
check outs, get the free screenings.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
It is good.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
And what they're doing, I love this, Doctor Jeffery. They
say they love women, but they're calling our men. They're
calling me men, men to come out because men have
a lot of problems, physical and mental.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Absolutely, and one of the things that generationally, specifically culturally
in our society, men are weird or raised distinctly different
than women. Men are raised during the time of slavery
(06:00):
and thereafter, men were raised kind of in a different lane,
if you will, because they were viewed as the threat.
They were the threat, They were the visible threat to
the safety of Caucasian families and others. They were viewed
as the threat that would harm people, that would rob you,
(06:24):
that would do all of these criminals or things that
were just terribly wrong, and there was no justice for
accusations being made, and so maternally we then assumed the
role to protect these young boys and men because there
(06:45):
was no there was no jury or cord or anything
that would give them justices. So we tried to protect
them and keep them in that lane where they were
not as visible, you know, because.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
If you're viewed or seen, then the option.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
The decision is going to be you did it, and
then there were the severe consequences for that. But we
never shifted in terms of how we began to raise
our boys, where our expectations then showed them how to
carry themselves as responsible young men who had the potential
(07:23):
to live the same life and access resources and opportunities
as any other young men. We did not do that
as consistently as we could have and should have.
Speaker 6 (07:37):
Those who had.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
Resources, I would say middle class and ups had the
opportunity because they may have more income coming in. They
tried to establish more stable environments and they created within
their groups volunteer organizations, beginning in the church, phivic groups,
(07:58):
community groups.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Made groups.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
They kind of circled around their children, and as a village,
if you will, began to try to shape how both
male girls and boys could look or move forward. But
and I always go back to this because this is
the thing that just radiates so.
Speaker 6 (08:20):
Clearly in my mind.
Speaker 5 (08:22):
When the drug epidemic landed on the black community, and
first it was heroin, and then it was cracked everything
that we had established, the values, the virtues, the boundaries,
the expectations just went straight to hell. And there was
no place, no family, no group, no amount of money
(08:47):
or class or anything that you represented that protected you there.
So the stereotypes were you had to be a lower
class black person and you were exposed to all these
drugs and crime and what happened. But when the truth
was told, drugs created from the highest, most educated, lightest
(09:10):
broughtless down to the ones who had absolutely nothing, and
because of that, it was devastating. But the thing I
think that was probably the most harmful. There were many after,
many young families that had the benefit of elders who
lived nearby, sometimes in the house with you, sometimes just
(09:33):
a city or a state, a couple of places away,
at least by letter, a phone calls where you could
communicate and here's some wisdom about how.
Speaker 6 (09:43):
You handle things.
Speaker 5 (09:45):
How you could say, we're having these problems, and an
elder male would pull your spouse or your brother aside
of your child's side and give them counsel and wisdom.
And so we tried to shift it and crack their
drug epidemic impacted the women in the family. Then everything,
(10:09):
the whole background was large, and I think because of
that we are still reverberating from that. So we've got
two generations now of young people who have not had
the benefits of a wholesome, grounded, well structured society and
(10:31):
neighborhood community and sometimes families where we had standards, we
have values, we have expectations, and we have.
Speaker 6 (10:39):
Adults who care for you, who cover you, who.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
Discipline you, and who model what it is that you
need in order to just make a stretch as an
adult so where you can live to be grown folks.
And when you get to that talking about caring for
your health. You know, if you've engaged in any kind
of addictive behavior, health is so far from what it
(11:07):
is that you're trying to manage that it devastates everything else.
Because you see what people look like after they.
Speaker 6 (11:15):
Have been addicted to drugs.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
You know, the hygiene, the it impacts the body in
terms of ravaging the skin, losing the teeth, and we're
not even talking about the mental the mental trauma that
people go through trying to serve that addiction. And then
economically where regardless if you had a high school education
(11:41):
or a college education, you could find a job, You
could find a job, and you could plan a life
with a family, and you could have a family and
a moder's income and still raise a decent living. But
now we have to go back to the basics and
we have to celebrate health. We have to model health.
(12:02):
We have to really really begin to build and construct
systems that give us environments where we can have children
reared in good, mentally healthy environments where the adults around
them are responsible, willingly, so accountable to their actions, they
(12:27):
do not do create or manufacture any kind of situations
that threatens the livelihood of the family that they're trying
to raise, meaning that they don't engage in addictive behaviors,
they don't engage in violent behaviors. They're encourage and mind
their kids to read. They provide good health access for
(12:51):
their children. They work with another parent so that they
provide a stable for real environments for their children. They
support the school, they provide some kind of spiritual structure,
and all of that sounds like, oh, it's overwhelming, but
we know it is possible because we lived it in
(13:12):
spite of everything and everybody else being against us. So
thinking along those terms, what do real men want and
what how do real men show up? Well, maybe how
do real men learn how to be real men so
that we can begin the rebuilding that we need to do.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Yeah, and and doing that rebuilding.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
And one of the things Doctor Jeffers and I know
you've you've seen many clientsespecially men, you know, the mental part,
and and and as and I love what what what
my guests had to say earlier? Dr Jeffries Gillian White,
and Gillian says she believes in therapy. She believes in
(14:00):
going to therapists. You know, if you need some help,
you go go seek out some help. But you know,
I'm in still they have that stigma and she was
saying that you're not crazy, No, you're trying to get
better yourself. And is it still like that, doctor Jeffer's
men don't want to go see a therapist, they don't
(14:21):
want to get the help.
Speaker 5 (14:22):
Or men do not trust the current systems.
Speaker 6 (14:29):
Okay, because the systems have not served them.
Speaker 5 (14:33):
Well, Okay, when you think in terms of let's start
with the educational system. When young boys go into the
educational system and they happen to be young black males,
then they go in.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
Let's say that they have they're.
Speaker 5 (14:49):
A little bit stout, or they're taller, or they're darker,
or they're a little more rowdy, you know, in physical
in terms of their presence, they then begin to be
labeled with attributes that they put on their school records
that follow them throughout. In some cases, when they're in
(15:12):
environments where they have teachers, and they have teachers who
are not have not been educated in the environments that
particularly urban and sometimes extreme rural communities are sending these
kids into school that they're not familiar with the environment
(15:33):
where their students come from. It's like They're speaking one
language to somebody who's never heard that language, and they
have no compassion or understanding that until they are provided
with the structure, learn how to self calm themselves, learn
how to mediate conflict. Then they react, you know, rather
(15:57):
than responding. They talk out. There is no inside boys.
You know, they use profanity because that's the language they may.
Speaker 6 (16:05):
Have heard, you know, or they don't talk at all.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
There was a period when I was working with Headstars
kids that were coming in and one thing that I
had not been aware of was there there are so
many young black males now going into headstarts who are
technically mute. Is not that they don't talk.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
I mean, it's not that.
Speaker 5 (16:30):
They can't talk, but nobody talks to them. They have
been raised being set in front of a TV or
video game. There's no dialogue or interaction. People talk at them,
but they don't talk to them. And so what happens
when they come to school and headstarts they may be
(16:51):
labeled or referred to a speech person because they haven't
learned to use their words, have not listened and connected
words of communications to them, so they get referred to
hearing specialists. They sometimes have to just kind of self
contain you, not the hell out of somebody that's messing
(17:13):
with your remote or messages with something of yours, as
opposed to mediating behavior and getting them to dialogue about it.
So physicality is what they know, but that works against them.
And then when you grow up with that and the
labels become more drastic, you have the situation that we're
dealing with in so many urban communities now. If a
(17:38):
young man has no concept of who he is, where
he belongs, who cares for him, no memory of a constant,
consistent person who acknowledged them validated him, and he felt
(17:59):
that he could go to talk to whether it was
bad or good be corrected by. If there is no
memory of that, their child is not likely to have
very much compassion nor humanity. And so it really ticks
me off when I hear all these people talking about
these kids, these young kids, Where the hell did they
(18:21):
come from? They didn't just pop up. There was no
spaceship that landed and put them here. They are the
chickens that Malcolm talked about. They have come home to roosts.
You cannot produce products that you have, no provisions for them,
no intent to raise them, to guide them, to teach them,
(18:43):
and to model them.
Speaker 6 (18:44):
If you don't have that in place, then you've.
Speaker 5 (18:47):
Created a grave disservice to those young people, and you
seek the repercussions from them. There's no attachment to life
because nobody's ever bedne their life. There's no expectation that
I can dream, that I can grow, that I can do.
Nobody's ever given me. Nobody's planted dreams to me. Nobody
(19:08):
ever read a story to me or sang a song
to me. Older males pop you in the chest if
you start crying because you hurt because you're not acting
like a man. You're too but they want you.
Speaker 6 (19:19):
To act like a man. Your nickname is little.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
Man, you know. And so, and we're just talking about
the boys and the men. Now, yeah, and I'll tell
you there are a lot of people that say, but
that's not all black boy.
Speaker 6 (19:33):
No, it's not all black boys.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
But these are the ones that are in the headlines.
These are the statistics that we're reading about. These are
the reports on the news where you find out what
sounds like ridiculous stuff that these young people are doing
because they have no fear. They have no fear of life.
They have no fear of death, so they're gonna do
(19:56):
whatever what kids do when there's no discipline place. And
now they have access to all kinds of resources and
what have you. You know, they can go out and
get guns and weapons that adults don't know where you
go to get them. And so when they start behaving
like older adults when they're still children, they have children,
(20:18):
and so the cycle is completed. And I just you know,
and this is why I always preach this. And I
know I'm preaching now and I can hear mad when
you preaching, Okay, but it's just this is just something
that I just have held onto for the longest.
Speaker 6 (20:36):
It's just so unfair.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
If we could come up through a segregated society where
it was obvious that nobody wanted anything for us other
than to use, misuse, or take advantage of us. And
I'm talking about black people, and we still have people
who were able to bloom, who were able to grow,
who went through situations so that other people can come
(21:01):
behind us, the young people coming behind us. Grandparents, you know,
great grandparents who gave up their lives, who prayed and
stuff for us, And here we are today, who's praying
for these young kids, you know, and do we even
know what to pray for? You know, So we're in
an epidemic. You know. When I hear Norman red.
Speaker 6 (21:25):
Wing coming on and he keeps talking about what he's doing.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
Over at the building, some people here, some people hear
the drum calls, and that's what Warren is preaching about
when he comes on and he talks about, you got
to learn how to think, You got to learn how
to see for yourself. That's critical thinking.
Speaker 6 (21:41):
Yes, you know, there's.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Some basic things that we're missing as adults and that
we can't teach our children if we don't know it.
That's right, and so that's why, after all these years,
that's what we do.
Speaker 6 (21:52):
We come on and we say.
Speaker 5 (21:53):
The same things, and we keep and we say if
we say it alone enough and if you're sitting in
that chair and we have the airtime to do it,
maybe somebody will hear it. You know, maybe somebody will
hear it.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
And I know doctor Jeffery and some folks have heard it,
but we will hopefully that more and more people.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Will hear it.
Speaker 5 (22:16):
Well, here's the thing, here's the thing. They hear it.
But you can't just say, oh Lord, what happened to
these cheers? What we're gonna do about these children? At
some point we have to start making some commitments to
do some things with nothing expected back except giving time,
you know, supporting organizations they're getting out there, trying to
do mentorship and hold them accountable to do what it
(22:39):
is they say they're going to do with the children.
So that's one of the things. So it comes up,
and it shows up in our adult relationships. If you've
never had it, how can you know what it is
you want? And if you meet somebody else who never
got it, only have got it, then you got two
(23:01):
people coming together trying to create a life, looking for
happiness and they don't know where to begin.
Speaker 6 (23:07):
And that's what I think.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
That's one of the first things that there are people
out there who hear it and understand it, and how
do we share that knowledge of what we've learned. How
do we set up systems that we can begin to
work with, you know, the schools, the churches, the communities
where we.
Speaker 6 (23:25):
Set it up.
Speaker 5 (23:25):
Nobody's going to do it for us.
Speaker 7 (23:27):
And we know that.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Nobody's going to give us money in and more for
things that we dream up but have we reached enough
of a crisis that it's time.
Speaker 6 (23:37):
For us to do it for ourselves? Or can we
do it for ourselves? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Good point. Hold on, doctor Jeffries. We'll continue.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
We're asking what do real men do and what do
real men want? We're talking if you have a question
or two four, doctor Jeffries, we do invite you to
call five three five, nine three four two one hundred
five zero three nine three four two eight three three
(24:05):
five three five nine three four two will.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Get you in to us. You're listening to Double d
i A.
Speaker 8 (24:16):
Whether you're in Arkansas, Tennessee, or Mississippi on Facebook, Twitter,
or Instagram. Thank you for listening to the Bev Johnson
Show on Double d i A Memphis.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
The Bev jes Show.
Speaker 8 (25:14):
You're listening to the Bev Johnson Show. Here's Bev Johnson.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
And we're talking aware of the real men when it
comes to health and mental health with doctor Dorothy Jeffries.
Doctor Jeffries, I'm going to our phone lines to talk
to some of our listeners.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
W D I A high caller.
Speaker 9 (25:33):
Bell, thanks for taking my car. This black conservative how
yat today?
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Doing well? Black conservative?
Speaker 9 (25:37):
Yes, Doctor Jefferes mentioned about behavior pattern of kids in school,
black kids in school, special ones who don't have teachers
who can identify with their with their environment. I think
(26:01):
that's a little bit of it, but for the most part, uh,
that's not gonna change much of the h.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
What do you think it isative? What do you think
it is?
Speaker 9 (26:20):
I think it's pretty much have to do with behavior modification.
It's something that needs to behind the outside of the
school classroom, not inside. I don't think most teachers who
go to school for four years, uh, come out psychologists
to deal with behavior of modification. That's not their specialty
(26:42):
field expertise. I get an example, the University Mississippi Old Miss.
Majority of their staff or you know, white or whatever.
They're not black professors and so forth. That's where their
graduation rate stands. Is that fifty nine percent it Old
(27:03):
Miss fifty nine? Oh Man's fifty nine percent period.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
You're so white, you're saying it's fifty nine percent period
of all the students that are ten old.
Speaker 10 (27:12):
Miss fifty nine percent if they go there for sixty
year graduates, like it's probably about sixty nine percent. Four
year graduates around about fifty four percent as of now
they graduation where the fictional stands around about fifty four
percent something like that. So your point is, so it
doesn't matter why you have all black, all black staff,
(27:34):
uh employee teachers are all white.
Speaker 9 (27:38):
It all boys down to behavior modification. If they don't
want to learn, they're not going to learn. You can
have Barack Obama and Michelle Obama teaching. They're not gonna
learn anything if they don't want to learn.
Speaker 11 (27:53):
So when you.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
When you say okay, when you say.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
So, I'm saying. What I'm saying is that what you need.
It's not more white teachers in a particular neighborhood of
community here are more blacks, but you need it's more
qualified teachers there to be able to educate them and
get them across the finish line, the gold line. Okay,
we got we got two hundred and seventeen or more
(28:19):
black politician, more than we had in.
Speaker 10 (28:22):
Nineteen seventy two. And look at what's going on now. Okay,
he ain't fixed the problem.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Well, okay, thank you black.
Speaker 12 (28:29):
You do have a point.
Speaker 9 (28:30):
If you do have a point, though.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I'm going to ask doctor Jefferies, thank you black conservative.
Speaker 4 (28:34):
I don't know if that percentage is right, but I'm
still trying to get his his reasoning on that.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Go on, doctor Jeffrey.
Speaker 5 (28:42):
What do you say? I can't get his reasoning on that,
but I have no idea what he was talking about, right.
I never introduced the only issue around race that I introduced,
and I was speaking only about black children as their environs.
And I never said that you had to recruit Caucasian
teachers in order for them to learn. We didn't Haveasian
(29:06):
teachers when I was going to go until I was
ready to graduate, and they busted the white teachers in
so up until.
Speaker 6 (29:15):
That time, good well trained, competent.
Speaker 5 (29:19):
Teachers who understood where their children were coming from were
able to teach. And we didn't have one hundred percent
perfect teachers either, but the majority of them had enough
common sense and cared enough about Even the ones who
may not have even really enjoyed teachers, they had to
(29:41):
show up and do their jobs. Because every school had
older teachers, experienced teachers who were quality can checks. They
would check those young teachers themselves and the.
Speaker 6 (29:54):
Principles to make them accountable.
Speaker 5 (29:56):
And that's how you get oriented, oriented into is this
to work for me or not? So no, he confused
me a lot time. I'm talking about behavior modification based
on what stide with the baby baby teaching. Baby parents
are not all people are trained in baby house modification either.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
I agree. I didn't know who's coming from.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
All right, hold on Dashvia Jeffreys w D I a
hi caller.
Speaker 7 (30:26):
Yeah, Lucy, Bootsy, good morning care. Everybody have a prior.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
Hey Boots, happy Friday and to.
Speaker 7 (30:31):
You, Hey, doctor Jeffery.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
She says, hello, What do you say, Bootsy?
Speaker 7 (30:37):
I'll say, when you ask that question about what a
man want to do, a man should want to become, well,
a man should be wanting to become more of a
creator to better his life. In general, whatever a man
needs to do, he needs to look forward to as
(30:58):
being a man in order to take care of all
responsibility of what a man should do and how he's
supposed to do it in moderation. So my question, we'll
go to doctor Jeffery. What do you think that a
man should really truly do?
Speaker 5 (31:18):
Uh?
Speaker 7 (31:18):
Do he need to become more of a creator by
doing things to help himself to uh to live a
better life?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Okay?
Speaker 7 (31:29):
In general?
Speaker 4 (31:29):
All right, thank you Bootsy for the question. We'll get
to Doctor Jeffrey's I'll go to Unforgetful.
Speaker 12 (31:36):
Beave Johnson another great show, especially that first one that
you had. I'm telling you, I love it. I love
thank you Hey, I love listening to these shows that
you have, Miss john and Doctor Jeffery. I'm gonna tell you,
baby girl, I love what you said when you start
out the show because everything you say is correct one
(32:00):
hundred percent. I agree with every word out of your mouth,
everything you say because the first shover they missed a word.
I couldn't understand when you say the experiencing part, Doctor
jeff We need to work on that problem right there,
because it seemed like the spirituality in this.
Speaker 7 (32:22):
World is gone.
Speaker 12 (32:25):
It's so simple. I mean, you know it's something wrong
with you trying to educate yourself about your health. You know,
you got to listen to the voices of other people
educate yourself, and you know, things so easy.
Speaker 6 (32:39):
It takes care.
Speaker 12 (32:40):
Of yourself when you can look at when I look
at my grandmama coming to the table and eat and
telling me to sit over there. I noticed when she
was old, you know, Tuesday in the eighties and solf
and she had a little portion of food and in
the Bible they saying something about, you know, people eating
so much. I don't know what the word is what
(33:00):
a verse here? But it's sad that I mean, it's
just things that we just look over and don't understand.
But I like I say, doctor Jeffer, I appreciate everything
you say. And miss Johnson and your words. You need
to stop this day the girl old folks mess up people.
I'm not gonna say kids. You know where I'm coming from,
(33:22):
but I'm just throwing that out there and I'm out
of here.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Take you, I forget. But what my words are Adults
mess up children? Hey, Frank, Hi, Frank.
Speaker 7 (33:34):
What are you doing today?
Speaker 2 (33:35):
I'm doing well, Frank.
Speaker 11 (33:36):
Oh, how you doing?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I'm doing well. What do you say?
Speaker 11 (33:40):
Oh, it's gonna be It's gonna be okay. You know
this is two things that remind me, uh the boy
that cry would and that you know every time you
lie your nose you remember those little those two things.
You know, every time you lie, your nose supposed to grow.
But anyway, you know you're right padoki yo. You know,
(34:04):
we as a whole are in so much trouble because
we keep running from the truth and and to the
young ladies. That's speaking. You can make a very very
lovely part of soup. But you but when you leave
out that man and reading that soup is just ain't tasted.
(34:25):
But let me say this, let me say this, people
a real man. He's he do what he do what
the Lord say. Get you your equally yoke, that's the first.
That's reason he took.
Speaker 7 (34:40):
Your real And then when you get.
Speaker 11 (34:43):
That, you respect that. You don't make nothing. If God
tell you to leave your mama and daddy, then you
don't try to show man nothing. Because your wife is
looking at you.
Speaker 7 (34:55):
You are one.
Speaker 11 (34:57):
You are one man married men, you and your wife
are worn. And when you get out of line, trying
to you know is wrong. We all know right I'm wrong.
But you wanna please man. It's in the Bible. By
pleasing man, look, tell the truth. So you can help
(35:17):
that man. Tell the truth. People start telling these folks
the truth. Hold these people accountable so you can really
help them.
Speaker 7 (35:26):
Because we're in some serious trouble.
Speaker 11 (35:29):
The devil is on the move and God is too.
So I mean, it ain't no more one side of stuff.
It's gonna be all or nothing. And that's what we're
looking at every day and y'all head like, y'all don't
see it. Stop line with people, Stop trying to avoid
the truth about what's really going on. Everything that's going on,
(35:54):
been going on since day one. But we won't punch it.
Were gonna go around it, gonna do it. No punch it.
Speaker 12 (36:03):
That's the only way you're gonna get it out.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
You got to put it out.
Speaker 11 (36:07):
The truth set the world free, right, And as long
as we keep going around and punching and looking at
all the wrong things, it ain't gonna have. It just
ain't gonna happen. We're gonna be in so much trouble.
All right, Thank you, Frank, thank you already there all right.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
One of the things, Doctor Jeffers, I will go back
and and unforgetful and Boosy they talked about Boosy talk
about me and should be creators.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (36:32):
I think we already that and and one of the
things that uh that I'm forgetful that says that me
and we've lost spirituality and is that part of our
mental health?
Speaker 5 (36:45):
Absolutely, And I think Boosy has is onto something okay
that if you you have to when you have a child,
and you're raising that child up.
Speaker 6 (36:56):
You are teaching that child by my and what you want.
Speaker 5 (37:01):
Them to internalize, and teaching them to look and learn
to know themselves and so that they understand what they need.
Speaker 6 (37:09):
How do I calm myself down? How do I seek
love and affection?
Speaker 5 (37:13):
How do I how do I figure out what my
purpose is? How do I understand how I need to
be taught? And all the more you teach a child
how to do self reflection and to hear what it
is you're trying to do, you're offering guidance. Then they
have the ability to create because they are the creator.
(37:35):
They're the ones that set the seeds and motions to
produce more. And you want the creator to be as
strong and as healthy and as sane and as sober
as possible. And that's male or female. But it begins
with the child. And you're right. When you have lazy parents,
(37:55):
when you have absent parents, when you have parents who
are just playing around with stuff like that, they then
create what we deal with. But the goal is for
boys and girls to learn that they have the potential
to be creators and to honor that find out what
(38:17):
your purpose is. Here everybody here has a purpose. Find
out how do you pursue that purpose?
Speaker 6 (38:23):
Because the purpose.
Speaker 5 (38:24):
That you pursue that brings you joy and enlightening is
what's going to give you happiness. And then when you
know yourself well enough, then you're ready to go out
and find your person you know, or to be ready
to receive your person. Two people just don't go wandering.
Speaker 6 (38:43):
Around in the woods and bump into each other.
Speaker 5 (38:46):
No, not out, even if it's descline that you belong together.
Do your work first. And there are a lot of
people who still roaming around lost because they don't want
to put the time and energy into figuring out what's
wrong with me? You need to figure out and ask
the questions, why am I unhappy? Why am I so depressed?
(39:09):
Why do I overeat? Why do I overspend? Why can't
I maintain a relationship? Why don't I have friends? Why
can't I get along with any boy?
Speaker 6 (39:16):
You know?
Speaker 5 (39:17):
All of those kinds of things. And then, like friends
that tell the truth, tell the truth to yourself. So
I get these last ones had a message that summed
it up. You gotta be able to tell the truth,
and it has to be grounded in spirituality. And when
I'm talking about spirituality. I am not talking about a
(39:37):
specific religion. We get caught up in religious dogma that
has all these rules and structures and things. You need
to get in tune with your spirituality, which is also
a part of guiding you towards your purpose. The spiritual
part of you is the light that will show you
(39:59):
what your this is and shine the light on the
person you're supposed to be with. But you have to
do your work first, love. And I've been saying this
for thirty plus years.
Speaker 12 (40:09):
Thirty eight got to work thirty eight forty years.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
I know, yeah, and you're right, and I wanted this
email and AC will ask this question, and interestingly talking,
he says that please ask doctor Jefferies if our families
did better under segregation or integration.
Speaker 6 (40:32):
You know, and I think it all depends.
Speaker 5 (40:34):
We were limited during segregation, and we were forced to.
Speaker 6 (40:38):
Become self reliant, and we were.
Speaker 5 (40:41):
Forced in many instances to be more supportive of each other,
so we had to collaborate. We have had to do
things in coalition because there was a targeted enemy that
was not for any of us. But then when when
we should have benefited from integration, which meant we had
(41:04):
access to more. We talked everything that we had done
to build unity in the community. We talked there and
went out and tried to adapt into an environment that
was still foreign to us. We failed to bring a
lot of our roots with us, our spirituality, our knowledge
(41:27):
of self, our cultural our rituals, and our value as
we knew it of ourselves. Because if you lose your
knowledge of value self, people can call you anything, tell
you anything, and convince you to believe in anything. And
I think that's exactly where we are.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (41:49):
So as we get ready to wrap up this, doctor Jefferson,
we were speaking about men today, and let me again
encourage encourage you fellas. Tomorrow go to the Agri Center
for the Heart and Soul Men Wellness Collective, because as
you heard, they're going to be talking physical and mental health.
(42:09):
Doctor Jeffery starts at eight thirty in the morning. Clear
and so get what you need, Get get what you need.
Isn't that right, doctor Jefferies.
Speaker 5 (42:21):
Absolutely a closed mouth cannot be fed.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
That's right, sister. I know.
Speaker 4 (42:28):
So you you you say you're a real man, and
what real man? Go there tomorrow because they want to
help men mentally, physically, spiritually.
Speaker 5 (42:40):
And you know what, one of the things we all
need help.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
We do.
Speaker 5 (42:45):
We all need help. So even if you feel like
you're doing all right, that you know everything, you got
it all together, go anyway and either validate that.
Speaker 6 (42:53):
You know everything or learn something.
Speaker 5 (42:55):
But go you will feel. You will feel some karate,
read and stuff, just to be in environment with other
men and you all are their seeking the same thing.
But what the real men want. They want the same
thing that any other healthy.
Speaker 6 (43:11):
Normally adult male wants.
Speaker 5 (43:14):
Respect, trust, honesty, fidelity, and stability and the opportunity to
take care of his own. That's right, But you gotta
understand what's what the challenges are that may be in
your way and how you pursue those things.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Good and get yeah, go get I love the doctor
Jeff's go get fed.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
And one of the things that Pastor Norman said, And
I love this, they're gonna have therapists on the site
mm hm and so men will be able and I
get and I get this. I love this because I
remember when you used to have your men's group that
you know, man can be able to bond and they'll
be able to talk.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
You know, they're just telling the ladies get your get
your husband's there, your boyfriend, you, your your.
Speaker 4 (44:00):
Friend, male friends, you get that so they can and
as doctor Jeffrey said, they can be fed because they're
gonna have all what you need there tomorrow. And it
sponsored doctor Jeffers, which I love it by Baptist Hospital.
Speaker 5 (44:15):
I know.
Speaker 6 (44:16):
I am just impressed.
Speaker 5 (44:18):
And you know something, go even if you don't feel
like it. Go if you don't go so you can
see how they do it, and then you can replicate
that in your community. That's one way that you can
begin to see how do we take us offer to
us and see what we can use and rewave so
that it makes sense in our communities. That's how we
(44:39):
begin to find our roots again and come together.
Speaker 4 (44:42):
Just go, go, go, and we should see that agricenter
should be packed tomorrow exactly.
Speaker 5 (44:48):
You know, when you go and you show people that
you want it, that you need it, and you will
support it, you may get something more or build upon that.
And you got a black man who organizing that. Yeah
the brother, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Support the brother. Come on, y'all.
Speaker 4 (45:06):
Thank you, doctor j Any of the last words you'd
like to say to our fellows out there, I.
Speaker 5 (45:11):
Still believe in you even when I'm fussing, I still
believe in it.
Speaker 6 (45:15):
I tell you I love my people. I love my people.
Speaker 5 (45:18):
So y'all do well, be well, and take care of Memphis.
Speaker 4 (45:22):
All right, Doctor Jeffrey, Thank you, Doctor Jeffries. Have a
fabulous weekend. Look forward to talking to you next week.
Speaker 6 (45:28):
All right.
Speaker 5 (45:29):
I'll see you on the radio.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
All right, Doctor Jeffries, Bye bye bye. I love doctor Jeffrey.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
Doctor Jeffries is our behavioral relationship consultant. And you heard
her words today. Yeah, y'all go out tomorrow and also
on Sunday. Let me remind you then you go there
tomorrow on Saturday, men, he go go see Norman. On
Sunday they're having Blacktastic Bingo. It's gonna be for everybody,
(45:57):
you know, everybody, come on out Sunday at the Benjamin L.
Hooks Central Library, thirty thirty Poplar. It starts at two
o'clock to four thirty. Gonna you probably gonna see miss Beverly,
Nurse Beverly at The event is for retired working teachers,
counsel the grandmothers, pastors, preachers.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Y'all come on out and be with Norman.
Speaker 4 (46:18):
It's the African Village annual Blantastic Being Goal is.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
Fun on Sunday.
Speaker 4 (46:24):
Something to Do Nice on Sunday at two pm, four
point thirty at the Benjamin L. Hooks Library. It's been
a good day to day, Yes, it's been a good day.
Calling all men tomorrow at the Agri Center starting at
eight thirty one.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Y'all get that wellness all right, it's been a good week.
Speaker 4 (46:48):
I thank you callers, I thank you listeners for joining
me this day on the Bev Johnson Show. We do,
we really do appreciate you. So until tomorrow, please be safe,
keep a cool head. Y'all gonna let anyone steal your joy.
(47:09):
Until tomorrow, I'm Bev Johnson, and y'all keep the faith.
Speaker 2 (47:15):
Mark Baker, take me Home, boyfriend.
Speaker 5 (47:22):
The fuse and opinions discussed on The Bev Johnson Show
are that of the hosts and Carls and not those
of the staff and sponsors of w d I A U.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
S SP.
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