May 27, 2025 • 19 mins
We spoke with Alzheimer's Association of CT features Development Manager Kim Brey, and Volunteer Caregiver Mary Beth Cronin about the programs and services offered at the organization and their upcoming fundraisers.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, Thank you for listening to Community Access. My
guests are from the Alzheimer's Association. Today. I have with
me development manager Kim Bray and a volunteer and caregiver,
Mary Beth Cronin. Good morning, Good morning, Good morning Allison.
So tell me what is the mission of the Alzheimer's
Association for those who don't know about it.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Yes, so the mission of the Alzheimer's Association is to
eliminate Alzheimer's. We want to make sure that we are
providing support for anybody with Alzheimer's or any dementia. So
it's not just Alzheimer's, and I can get into that
a little later, but certainly we want to eliminate Alzheimer's
and all dementia.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Wonderful. What are the numbers like in Connecticut for people
with Alzheimer's.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yes, so we just released our new numbers and it
is quite prevalent for those people aged sixty five and older.
We are nearing up to eighty thousand right here in Connecticut,
and the percent of adults over sixty five with Alzheimer's
is eleven point nine percent. I will kind of go
through some facts, something that's kind of interesting. Is our caregivers.
(01:10):
There's one hundred and thirty thousand caregivers right here in
the state of Connecticut, and our caregivers have total hours
of two hundred and five million hours of unpaid care.
So that's quite a big number if you can imagine that.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
How are you able to help people with Alzheimer's and
their caregivers?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yes, so the association. All of our resources that we
have are free. Probably the best resource that we have
is our helpline. It is a helpline that is available
twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. It
is basically the people working there are clinician degreed and
(01:50):
above and you could call them with any questions you have.
That number is eight hundred two seven to thirty nine hundred.
You'll hear me reference that a lot because that is
just a great starting point for anything. But our helpline
can help anyone if you get a new diagnosis of
Alzheimer's or any form of dementia. A lot of times
(02:12):
you come from the doctor and you know they just
say come see us again in six months, and you
know you don't know where to turn. That is a
great starting point. Our helpline here in Connecticut has care
consultations available and what that entails. It's about a twenty
minute appointment and our our staff walk you through what
(02:35):
the next steps could be for your you know, for
your care, for your resources. And then of course we
always try to support the caregiver as well, because we
know that our caregivers, you know, caring for somebody with
Alzheimer's dementia is a twenty four hours a day, seven
days a week job, so we want to make sure
they're sure they're supported as well. So we certainly have
(02:58):
support groups, not only those with Alzheimer's, but also for
our caregivers as well.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
That's wonderful. Caregivers can get sick too.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yes, some of the statistics that are just out it
kind of blew my mind right now. This is for
the state of Connecticut, but the caregivers with chronic health
conditions are sixty four percent, which to me, it's one
of those things you know, when you're in a sinking
ship or when you're on that airplane and you've got
to put you know, your oxygen on. You want to
(03:27):
put the oxygen on you first, yes, and then take
care of your love, your loved one. Caregivers also have
a better chance of getting depression, and we're looking at
a twenty seven point nine percent chance, and that's probably
due to the fact that they're you know, at home
taking care of their loved one, not getting out and
(03:47):
you know, feeding themselves for the things that make them
feel good. And then also caregivers with poor physical health
goes up to about nine point four percent.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I used to be a nurse's aide. I originally went
to school to be a nurse, and I loved working
for the VNA. I would go into the homes all
the time, and besides just doing care, I would paint
their nails and do their hair. And the family had
a really hard time leaving. They didn't want to leave
their loved ones. Once they got to know me, it
was better. But I could see why they just don't
want to leave that person. They don't think they'll be
(04:18):
okay or when they return it could be worse.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, I think that I find that anybody in the
senior care community. It's a passion to be in in
this line of work. And yeah, I think people who
are new to that diagnosis, you know, they want to
care for that person all on their own. But Alzheimer's
it is. It is a progressive disease. It's a brain disease.
(04:43):
It's progressive, and at some point you'll need some extra
help and you have to turn to those professionals like
yourself at one point, who will also care for your
loved one.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
So what is the difference between Alzheimer's and dementia.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yes, so if you could look at it this way,
dementia's kind of an umbrella. And first of all, I
will mention that, you know, not remembering things. There's different
stages of that. You know, I personally am almost sixty
and I forget why I walk upstairs sometimes, but by
the time I'm up there, I could remember what I
needed or maybe go back down in the kitchen and
(05:19):
then come back up another time. But no like forgetting
where you live, forgetting the name of your grandson, those
are not normal parts of aging. So if you think
of dementia as an umbrella, dementia would be you know,
when you're forgetting things, and the diseases that basically cause
(05:40):
the dementia, the root cause of the dementia is what
we're looking for. So Alzheimer's is the most common disease
that basically gives you those dementia symptoms. There is also
you know, Parkinson's patients can have dementia. There is Louis
Body's dementia, front of temporal dement fronto temporal dementia, as
(06:03):
well as vascular dementia. And also you could get a
combination of all of them.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
So how do they diagnose it?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
So what they There's different different things in the works.
I know right now the Alzheimer's Association not only does
research and provides all of the free resources, you know,
support groups and whatnot, but we also are very active
with our public policy. So right now our public policy
(06:30):
is pushing for a blood biomarker. So that's something in
the works. But you know, I think we've gotten first
over the first gauntlet getting getting that passed. But it
would just be a pinprick for a blood test. Currently
now you have to do a lumber puncture for it.
And then also I don't know that this is for
a diagnosis, but they a lot of times will do
(06:51):
a pet scan of your brain as well.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
I'd like to talk about why it's important to get
diagnosed early.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yes, so it is very important to get diagnosed early
now because right now we're kind of in the time.
Right now is a hopeful time. Currently, we have two
treatments that are available. So in the past we've always
had drugs that basically treated the symptoms. Now we have
(07:17):
two treatments which are in the form of an infusion,
and those actually slow the progression of the disease. What's
kind of amazing about that is the fact that right
now in clinical studies, they are also looking at some
of these drugs on a research basis as a preventative
measure for Alzheimer's. So wouldn't that be great to be like,
(07:41):
I'm going to do this to prevent Alzheimer's. But that's
something new in the works, and just that is why
research is so important. But so the new being diagnosed
early is very important because these drugs are only available
for those who are in the very early stages of Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I understand that you both have a personal connection to
the disease. Let's start with you, Kim.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, So my grandmother, her name Granny Bee. She was
an amazing woman. She comes from canvas Or, Kansas. She
made it through the dust bowl, moved to Chicago during
the Depression, and met my grandfather and they started two
very successful businesses during the depression. And so when we
(08:28):
saw her slipping like in the eighties and in the
nineteen eighties and forgetting things, we thought, oh, you know,
that's okay. And I guess our AHA moment was when
her and I were getting ready to go to the
grocery store and she was sitting in her Cadillac in
the driver's seat, and she asked that I go get
my dad because there was something in her car that
she didn't know what it did. And so when I
(08:48):
called my dad over, she was pointing to the gearshift
on the steering wheel, the mechanism that puts you into reverse,
park and drive, which you use every day. So that
was our AHA moment, and I said, Granny, I'm going
to be driving you to the grocery store. And unfortunately
at that time, I didn't know about the Alzheimer's Association
in the nineteen eighties. So now people at least have
(09:10):
a place where they can go and not feel so alone.
They can you know, reach out. There's plenty of resources
on our website, which is alz dot org forward slash ct,
so you're able to you know, pop online to take
a look at you know, what's available as well as
that helpline number one eight hundred two seven to thirty
(09:32):
nine hundred.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
So, Mary Beth, you also have a journey with an
Alzheimer's patient. Would you like to share, of course.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
So my mother in law, Patricia Cronin, who you know,
my mom passed many years ago, so she really was
was my mom as well. About ten years ago we
started to notice that she was getting forgetful, or she
would withdraw herself from conversations so she might not give
her input, or if asked a question, she might defer
(10:03):
to my father in law looking for someone else to
answer for her. And you know, as a family, because
you do, it takes a village to do anything right.
It takes a village to take care of children, and
it takes a village to take care of someone with
Alzheimer's or dementia. And we started noticing her sort of
making some simple mistakes, for getting some simple facts, and
(10:27):
many of us in the family were, I don't want
to dismissive of it, meaning oh, she's just getting a
little older, or she's tired, or you know, we were
very big on sort of making excuses and my Aha.
Moment was when we took her to a geriactic neurologist
for an evaluation, and it was it was sad but
(10:50):
funny at the same time. He would ask questions and
ask for dates, and each time she would respond with
her birthday and we, I mean, I got very silly
and I said, Nan, you can't answer every question with
your birthday. But it was her way of sort of
masking for herself. And if you allowed her to move on,
(11:10):
she didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed. And that's something that
we've learned not to do, not to ask the questions
of her that we know she can't answer. So it
was it was very sad because you noticed this was
the beginning of something and it went quicker, I think
than we all thought. And while my father in law
(11:33):
was alive, he was very good in helping and assisting
her and cuing her. You know, Nan, you're going to
have this for dinner. Okay, Nan, don't forget to drink
your water, and like he would remind her to do everything.
And she has been now and he passed last year
she's been in. It was, Yes, it was rough because
(11:55):
he was really her primary careageiver, even though they were
in a you know, a nursing home, he still was
really caring for her. So it was very sort of
disheartening for the family knowing that he wasn't going to
be there anymore to cue her along and help her
eat and help her decide, you know, what to do
and what to say. But she has since moved into
(12:17):
another skilled facility that we absolutely love. I can't say
enough about finding the right place, doing the research, really
trying to place them somewhere that you, as a family
can feel comfortable because it is very hard to leave them.
It's very hard to trust someone else with the care
of your loved one. And I can attest personally to
(12:39):
the Alzheimer's helpline which I used many times in well
we as a family. I hate to take the credit again,
it takes a village. It's our whole family, but we
use many times to help us decide where she should be.
So it's been it's a tough journey. I guess the
one thing I have to say is do the the work,
(13:00):
because you don't want to dismiss it, particularly now with
things that they can do that are early on right.
Had we known, perhaps we could have done something. Then
maybe there was some medicine that she could have taken
that would have helped slow the progression. So I can't
say enough about this organization and the support that they've
(13:20):
given to my mother in law, my family, and myself.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
So you're glad that you decided to get involved with
this association one thousand percent. Yes, what advice would you
offer to someone? Because I've seen it happen often where
they just don't have the patience And that's okay because
I understand that they're burdened and it's a lot, or
they personalize it. No, No, she knows, she knows what
she's doing. I've told her, but she really doesn't really doesn't.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
So the acceptance part of it is tough, right, and
we still struggle, you know. I would say that even
when we go to visit, the visits are very short
because she gets tired very readily. She is not really
verbal anymore. I mean she can laugh sometimes appropriately if
we say something silly, she'll smile. She looks at us,
(14:09):
she knows it's us, but you can't say Nan, what's
my name? Or Nan, who am I? Or who is
that she doesn't know. She'll she'll become a little indignant,
and she'll say, of course I know who that is,
but she won't be able to go the next step.
She won't be able to say that is. So I
was telling Kim in a separate conversation, we had a
little aha moment this weekend for Mother's Day. My daughter
(14:31):
recently had a baby, and thank you, it's so very.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Exciting, the best.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
And we brought him to see her and we told
her who who he was. This is the second time
or third time that she's seen him, and you know,
she smiled at him, and she stared at him sort
of like he was an oddity or you know, she
really was staring and smiling like she knew she knew
it was a baby, but couldn't really put words to it.
(14:58):
And we said, Nan, who's that? And he she has
a little helmet now and it says his name on it.
And she looked at his helmet and she said Finley
and we all kind of look surprised she read the helmet. Yeah,
so it gave us the idea. I said, Okay, we're
gonna get t shirts made and when we go visit Nan,
we're going to have we're going to put our names
(15:18):
on our T shirts. So she can look at the
T shirt and say you're Dennis. Like she'll be able
to say that's my son. Wow, that's she knows it's
her son, but she doesn't. She can't get to the
name yeah, and she'll you know, she'll I'll say, Nan,
that's the one who drives you crazy, right, and she'll go, yes, Yes,
that's the one.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
My auna thought I was my mother, so she would
call me my mother's name all the time. My children,
she would call my name all the time. She used
to call the house, where's my kids? Things like that.
I have my own experience with it as well. Absolutely,
And she was an angel from God, this woman. She
was a nurse and she'd gave people the best care ever.
But when she came we're not really sure if it
(16:01):
was Alzheimer's, art dementia.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
It's not always diagnosed, right, you just think it's part
of old age and the aging process.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
But she was not the woman that she was before.
She was mean. She was it was so unlike her,
like you say, you almost have to laugh because she
was the kindest, most loving woman in the world, and
all of a sudden one time, I'll just tell you
this story. I was squatting down talking to her. She goes,
look at the size of your butt, and I was like.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Thanks, filters seemed to go away.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
If the filters go away. Yeah, And you know, she
met Clinton and she had this other delusional thing going on,
and I would say when I was going through it,
just let it be. Why are you arguing with her?
I let her just say, but it's very difficult for
people to do. And I understand that it is. It's
a struggle.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
You really do. Try to not put her in a
position where you know she's going to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed,
because regardless of what they can express it, you can
see in her face. You really have to watch for
those cues. And we're very blessed because she does not
get she does not get angry, She is not combative,
(17:12):
and many folks, I think Kim will attest to with
Alzheimer's can get that way. And from a mental perspective,
and when you talk about caregivers and depression and exhaustion,
when it's like that, it is much more easy for
someone to fall into that dark place because the person
(17:32):
is slowly becoming someone that you don't know. And when
they're become the angry someone that I don't know. It's very,
very difficult. I'm so grateful that we don't find ourselves
in that position, and I am to send love to
anybody who is in that position because it's incredibly difficult
to deal with.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Tell me what's happening this spall. You have a walk
coming up?
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yes, we actually in a state of Connecticut and we
have six walks. I manage the Greater Hartford Walk and
that will be October now nineteenth out at Renschler Field
and Mary Beth actually is on one of our committees,
so the six walks throughout Connecticut. Were always looking for
volunteers to help us with that, so feel free to
reach out to us regarding that. When I met Mary Beth,
(18:16):
her company, American Eagle Financial Credit Union called they were
interested in being a part of a walk, our walk,
having a team in sponsoring our walk. So thank you
to them for being one of our sponsors for our
walk this year and last year. But we also have
five other walks. We kick off our Western Connecticut Walk
on September twenty first at the New Fairfield High School
(18:39):
Eastern Connecticut. Follows up on October I'm sorry. September twenty
seventh at Ocean Beach Park in New London, and then
the next day on the twenty eighth, the Greater New
Haven Walk at light House Point Park in New Haven.
And then October starts with our Central Connecticut Walk on
the eighteenth at Rockwell Park and then the Hartford Walk
(19:01):
on the nineteenth, and then we close out with our
Fairfield County Walk on October twenty sixth at it's a
new location now, the Sherwood Islands State.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Park in Westport. Wonderful. I'm speaking with Kimbrae, Development Manager
and Mary Beth Cronin, a volunteer and caregiver from the
Alzheimer's Association. If you'd like more information, you can go
to alz dot org, forward slash CT, or you can
call their helpline at one eight hundred two seven to
thirty nine hundred. You can volunteer, you could donate, you
(19:32):
could become a part of the walks. Anything that you
need is right there. Thank you both for being here,
for sharing your stories and for serving the community. Thank
you so much for having us. Thank you very much,
Good morning, Thank you for listening to Community Access. My
guests are from the Alzheimer's Association. Today. I have with
me development manager Kim Bray and a volunteer and caregiver,
Mary Beth Cronin. Good morning, Good morning, Good morning Allison.
So tell me what is the mission of the Alzheimer's
Association for those who don't know about it.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Yes, so the mission of the Alzheimer's Association is to
eliminate Alzheimer's. We want to make sure that we are
providing support for anybody with Alzheimer's or any dementia. So
it's not just Alzheimer's, and I can get into that
a little later, but certainly we want to eliminate Alzheimer's
and all dementia.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Wonderful. What are the numbers like in Connecticut for people
with Alzheimer's.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yes, so we just released our new numbers and it
is quite prevalent for those people aged sixty five and older.
We are nearing up to eighty thousand right here in Connecticut,
and the percent of adults over sixty five with Alzheimer's
is eleven point nine percent. I will kind of go
through some facts, something that's kind of interesting. Is our caregivers.
(01:10):
There's one hundred and thirty thousand caregivers right here in
the state of Connecticut, and our caregivers have total hours
of two hundred and five million hours of unpaid care.
So that's quite a big number if you can imagine that.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
How are you able to help people with Alzheimer's and
their caregivers?
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yes, so the association. All of our resources that we
have are free. Probably the best resource that we have
is our helpline. It is a helpline that is available
twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. It
is basically the people working there are clinician degreed and
(01:50):
above and you could call them with any questions you have.
That number is eight hundred two seven to thirty nine hundred.
You'll hear me reference that a lot because that is
just a great starting point for anything. But our helpline
can help anyone if you get a new diagnosis of
Alzheimer's or any form of dementia. A lot of times
(02:12):
you come from the doctor and you know they just
say come see us again in six months, and you
know you don't know where to turn. That is a
great starting point. Our helpline here in Connecticut has care
consultations available and what that entails. It's about a twenty
minute appointment and our our staff walk you through what
(02:35):
the next steps could be for your you know, for
your care, for your resources. And then of course we
always try to support the caregiver as well, because we
know that our caregivers, you know, caring for somebody with
Alzheimer's dementia is a twenty four hours a day, seven
days a week job, so we want to make sure
they're sure they're supported as well. So we certainly have
(02:58):
support groups, not only those with Alzheimer's, but also for
our caregivers as well.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
That's wonderful. Caregivers can get sick too.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Yes, some of the statistics that are just out it
kind of blew my mind right now. This is for
the state of Connecticut, but the caregivers with chronic health
conditions are sixty four percent, which to me, it's one
of those things you know, when you're in a sinking
ship or when you're on that airplane and you've got
to put you know, your oxygen on. You want to
(03:27):
put the oxygen on you first, yes, and then take
care of your love, your loved one. Caregivers also have
a better chance of getting depression, and we're looking at
a twenty seven point nine percent chance, and that's probably
due to the fact that they're you know, at home
taking care of their loved one, not getting out and
(03:47):
you know, feeding themselves for the things that make them
feel good. And then also caregivers with poor physical health
goes up to about nine point four percent.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I used to be a nurse's aide. I originally went
to school to be a nurse, and I loved working
for the VNA. I would go into the homes all
the time, and besides just doing care, I would paint
their nails and do their hair. And the family had
a really hard time leaving. They didn't want to leave
their loved ones. Once they got to know me, it
was better. But I could see why they just don't
want to leave that person. They don't think they'll be
(04:18):
okay or when they return it could be worse.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yeah, I think that I find that anybody in the
senior care community. It's a passion to be in in
this line of work. And yeah, I think people who
are new to that diagnosis, you know, they want to
care for that person all on their own. But Alzheimer's
it is. It is a progressive disease. It's a brain disease.
(04:43):
It's progressive, and at some point you'll need some extra
help and you have to turn to those professionals like
yourself at one point, who will also care for your
loved one.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
So what is the difference between Alzheimer's and dementia.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yes, so if you could look at it this way,
dementia's kind of an umbrella. And first of all, I
will mention that, you know, not remembering things. There's different
stages of that. You know, I personally am almost sixty
and I forget why I walk upstairs sometimes, but by
the time I'm up there, I could remember what I
needed or maybe go back down in the kitchen and
(05:19):
then come back up another time. But no like forgetting
where you live, forgetting the name of your grandson, those
are not normal parts of aging. So if you think
of dementia as an umbrella, dementia would be you know,
when you're forgetting things, and the diseases that basically cause
(05:40):
the dementia, the root cause of the dementia is what
we're looking for. So Alzheimer's is the most common disease
that basically gives you those dementia symptoms. There is also
you know, Parkinson's patients can have dementia. There is Louis
Body's dementia, front of temporal dement fronto temporal dementia, as
(06:03):
well as vascular dementia. And also you could get a
combination of all of them.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
So how do they diagnose it?
Speaker 2 (06:09):
So what they There's different different things in the works.
I know right now the Alzheimer's Association not only does
research and provides all of the free resources, you know,
support groups and whatnot, but we also are very active
with our public policy. So right now our public policy
(06:30):
is pushing for a blood biomarker. So that's something in
the works. But you know, I think we've gotten first
over the first gauntlet getting getting that passed. But it
would just be a pinprick for a blood test. Currently
now you have to do a lumber puncture for it.
And then also I don't know that this is for
a diagnosis, but they a lot of times will do
(06:51):
a pet scan of your brain as well.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
I'd like to talk about why it's important to get
diagnosed early.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yes, so it is very important to get diagnosed early
now because right now we're kind of in the time.
Right now is a hopeful time. Currently, we have two
treatments that are available. So in the past we've always
had drugs that basically treated the symptoms. Now we have
(07:17):
two treatments which are in the form of an infusion,
and those actually slow the progression of the disease. What's
kind of amazing about that is the fact that right
now in clinical studies, they are also looking at some
of these drugs on a research basis as a preventative
measure for Alzheimer's. So wouldn't that be great to be like,
(07:41):
I'm going to do this to prevent Alzheimer's. But that's
something new in the works, and just that is why
research is so important. But so the new being diagnosed
early is very important because these drugs are only available
for those who are in the very early stages of Alzheimer's.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I understand that you both have a personal connection to
the disease. Let's start with you, Kim.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, So my grandmother, her name Granny Bee. She was
an amazing woman. She comes from canvas Or, Kansas. She
made it through the dust bowl, moved to Chicago during
the Depression, and met my grandfather and they started two
very successful businesses during the depression. And so when we
(08:28):
saw her slipping like in the eighties and in the
nineteen eighties and forgetting things, we thought, oh, you know,
that's okay. And I guess our AHA moment was when
her and I were getting ready to go to the
grocery store and she was sitting in her Cadillac in
the driver's seat, and she asked that I go get
my dad because there was something in her car that
she didn't know what it did. And so when I
(08:48):
called my dad over, she was pointing to the gearshift
on the steering wheel, the mechanism that puts you into reverse,
park and drive, which you use every day. So that
was our AHA moment, and I said, Granny, I'm going
to be driving you to the grocery store. And unfortunately
at that time, I didn't know about the Alzheimer's Association
in the nineteen eighties. So now people at least have
(09:10):
a place where they can go and not feel so alone.
They can you know, reach out. There's plenty of resources
on our website, which is alz dot org forward slash ct,
so you're able to you know, pop online to take
a look at you know, what's available as well as
that helpline number one eight hundred two seven to thirty
(09:32):
nine hundred.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
So, Mary Beth, you also have a journey with an
Alzheimer's patient. Would you like to share, of course.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
So my mother in law, Patricia Cronin, who you know,
my mom passed many years ago, so she really was
was my mom as well. About ten years ago we
started to notice that she was getting forgetful, or she
would withdraw herself from conversations so she might not give
her input, or if asked a question, she might defer
(10:03):
to my father in law looking for someone else to
answer for her. And you know, as a family, because
you do, it takes a village to do anything right.
It takes a village to take care of children, and
it takes a village to take care of someone with
Alzheimer's or dementia. And we started noticing her sort of
making some simple mistakes, for getting some simple facts, and
(10:27):
many of us in the family were, I don't want
to dismissive of it, meaning oh, she's just getting a
little older, or she's tired, or you know, we were
very big on sort of making excuses and my Aha.
Moment was when we took her to a geriactic neurologist
for an evaluation, and it was it was sad but
(10:50):
funny at the same time. He would ask questions and
ask for dates, and each time she would respond with
her birthday and we, I mean, I got very silly
and I said, Nan, you can't answer every question with
your birthday. But it was her way of sort of
masking for herself. And if you allowed her to move on,
(11:10):
she didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed. And that's something that
we've learned not to do, not to ask the questions
of her that we know she can't answer. So it
was it was very sad because you noticed this was
the beginning of something and it went quicker, I think
than we all thought. And while my father in law
(11:33):
was alive, he was very good in helping and assisting
her and cuing her. You know, Nan, you're going to
have this for dinner. Okay, Nan, don't forget to drink
your water, and like he would remind her to do everything.
And she has been now and he passed last year
she's been in. It was, Yes, it was rough because
(11:55):
he was really her primary careageiver, even though they were
in a you know, a nursing home, he still was
really caring for her. So it was very sort of
disheartening for the family knowing that he wasn't going to
be there anymore to cue her along and help her
eat and help her decide, you know, what to do
and what to say. But she has since moved into
(12:17):
another skilled facility that we absolutely love. I can't say
enough about finding the right place, doing the research, really
trying to place them somewhere that you, as a family
can feel comfortable because it is very hard to leave them.
It's very hard to trust someone else with the care
of your loved one. And I can attest personally to
(12:39):
the Alzheimer's helpline which I used many times in well
we as a family. I hate to take the credit again,
it takes a village. It's our whole family, but we
use many times to help us decide where she should be.
So it's been it's a tough journey. I guess the
one thing I have to say is do the the work,
(13:00):
because you don't want to dismiss it, particularly now with
things that they can do that are early on right.
Had we known, perhaps we could have done something. Then
maybe there was some medicine that she could have taken
that would have helped slow the progression. So I can't
say enough about this organization and the support that they've
(13:20):
given to my mother in law, my family, and myself.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
So you're glad that you decided to get involved with
this association one thousand percent. Yes, what advice would you
offer to someone? Because I've seen it happen often where
they just don't have the patience And that's okay because
I understand that they're burdened and it's a lot, or
they personalize it. No, No, she knows, she knows what
she's doing. I've told her, but she really doesn't really doesn't.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
So the acceptance part of it is tough, right, and
we still struggle, you know. I would say that even
when we go to visit, the visits are very short
because she gets tired very readily. She is not really
verbal anymore. I mean she can laugh sometimes appropriately if
we say something silly, she'll smile. She looks at us,
(14:09):
she knows it's us, but you can't say Nan, what's
my name? Or Nan, who am I? Or who is
that she doesn't know. She'll she'll become a little indignant,
and she'll say, of course I know who that is,
but she won't be able to go the next step.
She won't be able to say that is. So I
was telling Kim in a separate conversation, we had a
little aha moment this weekend for Mother's Day. My daughter
(14:31):
recently had a baby, and thank you, it's so very.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Exciting, the best.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
And we brought him to see her and we told
her who who he was. This is the second time
or third time that she's seen him, and you know,
she smiled at him, and she stared at him sort
of like he was an oddity or you know, she
really was staring and smiling like she knew she knew
it was a baby, but couldn't really put words to it.
(14:58):
And we said, Nan, who's that? And he she has
a little helmet now and it says his name on it.
And she looked at his helmet and she said Finley
and we all kind of look surprised she read the helmet. Yeah,
so it gave us the idea. I said, Okay, we're
gonna get t shirts made and when we go visit Nan,
we're going to have we're going to put our names
(15:18):
on our T shirts. So she can look at the
T shirt and say you're Dennis. Like she'll be able
to say that's my son. Wow, that's she knows it's
her son, but she doesn't. She can't get to the
name yeah, and she'll you know, she'll I'll say, Nan,
that's the one who drives you crazy, right, and she'll go, yes, Yes,
that's the one.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
My auna thought I was my mother, so she would
call me my mother's name all the time. My children,
she would call my name all the time. She used
to call the house, where's my kids? Things like that.
I have my own experience with it as well. Absolutely,
And she was an angel from God, this woman. She
was a nurse and she'd gave people the best care ever.
But when she came we're not really sure if it
(16:01):
was Alzheimer's, art dementia.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
It's not always diagnosed, right, you just think it's part
of old age and the aging process.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
But she was not the woman that she was before.
She was mean. She was it was so unlike her,
like you say, you almost have to laugh because she
was the kindest, most loving woman in the world, and
all of a sudden one time, I'll just tell you
this story. I was squatting down talking to her. She goes,
look at the size of your butt, and I was like.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Thanks, filters seemed to go away.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
If the filters go away. Yeah, And you know, she
met Clinton and she had this other delusional thing going on,
and I would say when I was going through it,
just let it be. Why are you arguing with her?
I let her just say, but it's very difficult for
people to do. And I understand that it is. It's
a struggle.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
You really do. Try to not put her in a
position where you know she's going to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed,
because regardless of what they can express it, you can
see in her face. You really have to watch for
those cues. And we're very blessed because she does not
get she does not get angry, She is not combative,
(17:12):
and many folks, I think Kim will attest to with
Alzheimer's can get that way. And from a mental perspective,
and when you talk about caregivers and depression and exhaustion,
when it's like that, it is much more easy for
someone to fall into that dark place because the person
(17:32):
is slowly becoming someone that you don't know. And when
they're become the angry someone that I don't know. It's very,
very difficult. I'm so grateful that we don't find ourselves
in that position, and I am to send love to
anybody who is in that position because it's incredibly difficult
to deal with.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Tell me what's happening this spall. You have a walk
coming up?
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Yes, we actually in a state of Connecticut and we
have six walks. I manage the Greater Hartford Walk and
that will be October now nineteenth out at Renschler Field
and Mary Beth actually is on one of our committees,
so the six walks throughout Connecticut. Were always looking for
volunteers to help us with that, so feel free to
reach out to us regarding that. When I met Mary Beth,
(18:16):
her company, American Eagle Financial Credit Union called they were
interested in being a part of a walk, our walk,
having a team in sponsoring our walk. So thank you
to them for being one of our sponsors for our
walk this year and last year. But we also have
five other walks. We kick off our Western Connecticut Walk
on September twenty first at the New Fairfield High School
(18:39):
Eastern Connecticut. Follows up on October I'm sorry. September twenty
seventh at Ocean Beach Park in New London, and then
the next day on the twenty eighth, the Greater New
Haven Walk at light House Point Park in New Haven.
And then October starts with our Central Connecticut Walk on
the eighteenth at Rockwell Park and then the Hartford Walk
(19:01):
on the nineteenth, and then we close out with our
Fairfield County Walk on October twenty sixth at it's a
new location now, the Sherwood Islands State.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Park in Westport. Wonderful. I'm speaking with Kimbrae, Development Manager
and Mary Beth Cronin, a volunteer and caregiver from the
Alzheimer's Association. If you'd like more information, you can go
to alz dot org, forward slash CT, or you can
call their helpline at one eight hundred two seven to
thirty nine hundred. You can volunteer, you could donate, you
(19:32):
could become a part of the walks. Anything that you
need is right there. Thank you both for being here,
for sharing your stories and for serving the community. Thank
you so much for having us. Thank you very much,
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