May 16, 2025 • 12 mins
We spoke with Program Coordinator Christina Zarotney about fulfilling the promise of a child’s life while building a stronger, more connected community. Together, grief will transform into hope and healing.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, Thank you for listening to Community Access. My
guest today is Christina Zarotney. She has program coordinator of
Girls of Mother Loss for the Southern New England region.
She's here for Empower. Good morning, Good morning. So we're
here to talk about what Empower does. How did it
all come about? What is empower?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
So? Empower is a nonprofit organization that works with children's,
teens and youth all the way up to age twenty
four who have experienced a loss of a parent. We
it started off in twenty thirteen with our founder Cara Belvin,
who's actually from Connecticut, from Southington, who experienced the loss
(00:43):
of her mother and for a long time felt as
though there was really no one like her that she
knew of. So she decided that in twenty thirteen she
was going to start a nonprofit and take some girls
away from Mother's Day and just really give them a
great experience because Mother's Day can sometimes be a really
hard day if you've lost a mom. And she decided
(01:05):
that she was going to start that organization, and then
in around twenty sixteen it started to branch out, and
that's when it came into Connecticut, and that's when I
got involved in it because I also lost my mom
when I was just eleven years old, and like Kara,
really didn't have anybody that was like me and really
was looking for an organization like this. And the whole
(01:27):
goal of this organization is really to provide support and
empower and connect others that are just you.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
What area do you serve any particular area in Connecticut?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
So we actually serve the entire state of Connecticut. I
also have some people in like Rhode Island, and you know,
I work with the program coordinators as well in Massachusetts
and in New York because you know, we do border
those states too, so sometimes it makes it makes sense
to match somebody, you know, in a different different state.
(02:00):
I should say, like, we really do two different things
within Power. We have a mentorship program and then we
have events. So I as a program coordinator, I am
doing all the matching of youth with adults who have
experienced that same type of loss in Connecticut and around Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
And what kind of benefits have you found with mentors
and mentees in this program?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, absolutely, So I actually started the program as a
mentor and I was actually introduced and I have a
mentee and actually it happened during the pandemic, so it
was a little bit different. So we ended up doing
a virtual match during the pandemic, and I'm matched with
a beautiful young lady who actually lives in New Mexico
currently and we still keep in touch. And it's a
(02:46):
way to kind of have this bond with a youth
that you know exactly what they're going through or they're
going to be going through because you've experienced something similar
and knowing that being that support. When I'm interviewing the
you know, the mentors that are coming from my program.
(03:07):
Of course, you know, it's amazing opportunity for the use,
but I also think that it's something for the mentors too,
because they're going through this experience of helping somebody who
is just like them and living you know, they're going
through the same things, so they really it's really important
to you just find you build this connection and you
just build this type of you know, relationship with them
(03:30):
that you know you're helping them in a way that
you wish that you could have been helped when you
were growing up.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
And a mentor doesn't necessarily have to be somebody who
has lost their mom or is that what you're looking for?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Correct, So if you're a mentor, you actually have to
have had some sort of parent loss. So I only
work with the girls of mother laws, but there's somebody
else to do is like girls of father loss, and
there's also somebody that does boys of mother laws or
boys of father laws. So in order to be a mentor,
you do have to have some type of parent loss.
It doesn't mean it had to have that parent loss
(04:02):
doesn't have to have happened when you were in your
younger years. It could just be any time that you've
had that parent loss. But for the mentorship program, that
is a very unique thing that Empower does. We're actually
the only people in the entire country that do that
that really partner somebody of that same type of loss
with the youth.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Is there some kind of training that they go through
to become a mentor.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
So a lot of times I will When you first
apply to be a mentor, you enroll in the program,
and you enroll on our website and then you get
sent to the program coordinator like myself, where I do
an interview with them, and then after that there is
an application process which also includes background checks, references, driving
(04:46):
record check and then if when that all comes back,
then there is actually a training that they do. Empower
does a training for all the mentors as well. And
I think it's really important to note too that we
don't just me match to match, which makes our like
program really as special. So there just because I have
a mentor that comes through and I have a mentee
(05:08):
that's waiting, I don't just stick them together. We really
get to know both the mentees and their families and
the mentors so that we're making a match that's really
thoughtful and making sure that we're matching somebody's you know,
personality wise that mesh it could be. You know, sometimes
we get families that are really want the same type
(05:30):
of loss or the same type of time of loss,
and if that's really important to families, we try to
honor that too. And it's really important to know that.
You know, geography plays a role too. Even though we
live in a small state of Connecticut, you know, to
drive from one end to the other, it does take time.
So geography does play a role in the in the
matching as well.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
And what are the mentors and the mentees do together?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Sure, so this is where the events come into play too,
So Empower does host different events throughout the year. Example,
we did a cooking class in Southington where everyone can
just come with their mentees and mentors. Everything is free
of charge for all of the families all the time,
and they can we can do a cooking class together
with pizza and brownie is and you just kind of
(06:14):
talk and you just you're all in the room together
and you don't have to talk about the loss if
it comes up organically by you know, we're always encouraged that.
But it's not like we all have to get together
and you have to talk about grief. It's not about that.
It's just being with each other and being around people
that you know are experiencing or have experienced the same thing.
(06:35):
Mentors and mentee is also are free to do a
lot of other things, like there's a lot of people
that go out and get their nails done, or they
go for a hike, or they go grab coffee. So
if you're in this match, it is a one year
commitment that we're looking for you to have, although of
course we hope that you'll say lifelong friends and after.
You know, during that year, we really was looking at
(06:57):
like four to six hours a month, and that can
really look however you and your mentee decide how it looks.
I have some partnerships that you know, meet once a
month and they spend that whole four to six hours
together and they do something really big. And then I
have other, you know, matches that you know, we'll space
out that four to six hours a month and you know,
(07:18):
I check in with them, we talk, you know, they
can always reach out to me if they have any questions.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
And what impact have you seen on the mentors and
the mentees who've participated.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
So it's really it's really powerful, to be honest, It's
it's something that every every time I get feedback, whether
it's from you know, families, from the girls, from the mentors,
everyone talks about just how much of an impact it
is because it's something that they just maybe we're missing there.
(07:47):
It's for the girls and the families they needed somebody
to kind of and it's not like we're filling the
role of mom. It's more of a support. So I
think that's really important too, that we're not we're never
we're we're never trying to replace, right, We're just trying
to support something that the youth doesn't have any longer
and for that, it's just a go to person for
(08:10):
that for that youth, and I've had comments like it.
It was great because I didn't have to say anything
in my mentor knew exactly what I was feeling, and
or I was great because I had just had a
problem and I didn't want to go to my dad
about it, but I went to my mentor about it
and they helped me navigate the problem. For the mentors,
it's great because I guess it's even though we're a
(08:33):
non therapeutic nonprofit, it is in a way kind of
therapeutic to be that go to person for the mentor.
You know, for the mentor, the mentor is is there
for them, they are able to help them navigate through
some hard times or know that maybe you know, oh,
I remember what that was like when I had to
(08:53):
go to prom without my mom, And I'm going to
be there because I know what they're going to need,
even though they don't they might not even know what
media or I know what's going to happen when they
graduate high school or middle school, and because I had
to go through that, and I can anticipate what that's
going to be like and how to support them. And
in a way it's therapeutic for the mentor because they've
(09:15):
lived through it, they know it. But at the same
time they're helping somebody else navigate it and that's very powerful.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
There is nothing better when someone gets it.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Yep, that's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
You have this fundraiser that's coming up. Tell me all
about it.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yes, So we as I mentioned, everything is completely free
for families, which means that we do one really big
fundraiser in Connecticut a year. This year, again, we are
so lucky to have our Life and Night Gala event
at the aquaturf in Southington. They are very generous with
letting us come in there, and we also have some
(09:52):
amazing mcs. This year we have Bob Maxon and Damon
Scott are co hosting our events and as the and
so you'll get to meet families, you get to help
provide support for the year for Empower by sponsorships. We
have amazing raffles and it's just a night of really
(10:14):
hearing about empower, what it does, the impact it has
on families in Connecticut, and really seeing the support that
is happening in Connecticut. In addition, we also run the
Illuminaria event at night and it's actually at the Aquaturf
too at the same time, where you can buy a
bag to put a name of somebody that is of
(10:35):
honor or as a memory of and they light up
the whole gardens at the Aquaturf. And it's a really
beautiful moving event too. That's included in that whole Gala
event as well, So there's a lot going on. It's
on May twenty ninth at the Aquaturf and it's it's
just a night that is very powerful and very special
(10:58):
for us in Connecticut because the fund our programming that
we do in Connecticut for all the families.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
So touching your web addresses, we are empower dot org.
People can get tickets there, they can become a sponsor there,
they can find out more information, volunteer, become a mentor mentee.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Yeah, and I think I love you know. I think
it's important too because somebody might be listening and saying, oh,
this doesn't really apply to me, because you know, I
haven't lost a parent, but they're like, I'm really interested
in helping. And we have a lot of volunteers too
that make this organization important because we are a lot
of it's done by volunteer. So even if you haven't
(11:39):
lost a parent, but you're like, oh, I really want
to help out or I want to be able to
donate some time to an event, that is something that's
also something that we look for to and I know
you mentioned sponsorships too, that's a huge part of our fundraising.
We're always looking for sponsorships. There's the sponsorship application on
there too to help sponsor events in Connecticut and throughout
(12:01):
the United States. So that was another great option as well.
If you know, if you don't, if you haven't experienced
that loss of a parent.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I'm speaking with Christina Zarotni. She is program coordinator of
Girls of Mother Laws for the Southern New England region.
She's here from Empower. The event is on May twenty ninth.
Go to we are empower dot org for more information.
Thank you so much for being here today and for
all of the amazing work that you're doing.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Thank you so much for having me
Good morning, Thank you for listening to Community Access. My
guest today is Christina Zarotney. She has program coordinator of
Girls of Mother Loss for the Southern New England region.
She's here for Empower. Good morning, Good morning. So we're
here to talk about what Empower does. How did it
all come about? What is empower?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
So? Empower is a nonprofit organization that works with children's,
teens and youth all the way up to age twenty
four who have experienced a loss of a parent. We
it started off in twenty thirteen with our founder Cara Belvin,
who's actually from Connecticut, from Southington, who experienced the loss
(00:43):
of her mother and for a long time felt as
though there was really no one like her that she
knew of. So she decided that in twenty thirteen she
was going to start a nonprofit and take some girls
away from Mother's Day and just really give them a
great experience because Mother's Day can sometimes be a really
hard day if you've lost a mom. And she decided
(01:05):
that she was going to start that organization, and then
in around twenty sixteen it started to branch out, and
that's when it came into Connecticut, and that's when I
got involved in it because I also lost my mom
when I was just eleven years old, and like Kara,
really didn't have anybody that was like me and really
was looking for an organization like this. And the whole
(01:27):
goal of this organization is really to provide support and
empower and connect others that are just you.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
What area do you serve any particular area in Connecticut?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
So we actually serve the entire state of Connecticut. I
also have some people in like Rhode Island, and you know,
I work with the program coordinators as well in Massachusetts
and in New York because you know, we do border
those states too, so sometimes it makes it makes sense
to match somebody, you know, in a different different state.
(02:00):
I should say, like, we really do two different things
within Power. We have a mentorship program and then we
have events. So I as a program coordinator, I am
doing all the matching of youth with adults who have
experienced that same type of loss in Connecticut and around Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
And what kind of benefits have you found with mentors
and mentees in this program?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yeah, absolutely, So I actually started the program as a
mentor and I was actually introduced and I have a
mentee and actually it happened during the pandemic, so it
was a little bit different. So we ended up doing
a virtual match during the pandemic, and I'm matched with
a beautiful young lady who actually lives in New Mexico
currently and we still keep in touch. And it's a
(02:46):
way to kind of have this bond with a youth
that you know exactly what they're going through or they're
going to be going through because you've experienced something similar
and knowing that being that support. When I'm interviewing the
you know, the mentors that are coming from my program.
(03:07):
Of course, you know, it's amazing opportunity for the use,
but I also think that it's something for the mentors too,
because they're going through this experience of helping somebody who
is just like them and living you know, they're going
through the same things, so they really it's really important
to you just find you build this connection and you
just build this type of you know, relationship with them
(03:30):
that you know you're helping them in a way that
you wish that you could have been helped when you
were growing up.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
And a mentor doesn't necessarily have to be somebody who
has lost their mom or is that what you're looking for?
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Correct, So if you're a mentor, you actually have to
have had some sort of parent loss. So I only
work with the girls of mother laws, but there's somebody
else to do is like girls of father loss, and
there's also somebody that does boys of mother laws or
boys of father laws. So in order to be a mentor,
you do have to have some type of parent loss.
It doesn't mean it had to have that parent loss
(04:02):
doesn't have to have happened when you were in your
younger years. It could just be any time that you've
had that parent loss. But for the mentorship program, that
is a very unique thing that Empower does. We're actually
the only people in the entire country that do that
that really partner somebody of that same type of loss
with the youth.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Is there some kind of training that they go through
to become a mentor.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
So a lot of times I will When you first
apply to be a mentor, you enroll in the program,
and you enroll on our website and then you get
sent to the program coordinator like myself, where I do
an interview with them, and then after that there is
an application process which also includes background checks, references, driving
(04:46):
record check and then if when that all comes back,
then there is actually a training that they do. Empower
does a training for all the mentors as well. And
I think it's really important to note too that we
don't just me match to match, which makes our like
program really as special. So there just because I have
a mentor that comes through and I have a mentee
(05:08):
that's waiting, I don't just stick them together. We really
get to know both the mentees and their families and
the mentors so that we're making a match that's really
thoughtful and making sure that we're matching somebody's you know,
personality wise that mesh it could be. You know, sometimes
we get families that are really want the same type
(05:30):
of loss or the same type of time of loss,
and if that's really important to families, we try to
honor that too. And it's really important to know that.
You know, geography plays a role too. Even though we
live in a small state of Connecticut, you know, to
drive from one end to the other, it does take time.
So geography does play a role in the in the
matching as well.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
And what are the mentors and the mentees do together?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Sure, so this is where the events come into play too,
So Empower does host different events throughout the year. Example,
we did a cooking class in Southington where everyone can
just come with their mentees and mentors. Everything is free
of charge for all of the families all the time,
and they can we can do a cooking class together
with pizza and brownie is and you just kind of
(06:14):
talk and you just you're all in the room together
and you don't have to talk about the loss if
it comes up organically by you know, we're always encouraged that.
But it's not like we all have to get together
and you have to talk about grief. It's not about that.
It's just being with each other and being around people
that you know are experiencing or have experienced the same thing.
(06:35):
Mentors and mentee is also are free to do a
lot of other things, like there's a lot of people
that go out and get their nails done, or they
go for a hike, or they go grab coffee. So
if you're in this match, it is a one year
commitment that we're looking for you to have, although of
course we hope that you'll say lifelong friends and after.
You know, during that year, we really was looking at
(06:57):
like four to six hours a month, and that can
really look however you and your mentee decide how it looks.
I have some partnerships that you know, meet once a
month and they spend that whole four to six hours
together and they do something really big. And then I
have other, you know, matches that you know, we'll space
out that four to six hours a month and you know,
(07:18):
I check in with them, we talk, you know, they
can always reach out to me if they have any questions.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
And what impact have you seen on the mentors and
the mentees who've participated.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
So it's really it's really powerful, to be honest, It's
it's something that every every time I get feedback, whether
it's from you know, families, from the girls, from the mentors,
everyone talks about just how much of an impact it
is because it's something that they just maybe we're missing there.
(07:47):
It's for the girls and the families they needed somebody
to kind of and it's not like we're filling the
role of mom. It's more of a support. So I
think that's really important too, that we're not we're never
we're we're never trying to replace, right, We're just trying
to support something that the youth doesn't have any longer
and for that, it's just a go to person for
(08:10):
that for that youth, and I've had comments like it.
It was great because I didn't have to say anything
in my mentor knew exactly what I was feeling, and
or I was great because I had just had a
problem and I didn't want to go to my dad
about it, but I went to my mentor about it
and they helped me navigate the problem. For the mentors,
it's great because I guess it's even though we're a
(08:33):
non therapeutic nonprofit, it is in a way kind of
therapeutic to be that go to person for the mentor.
You know, for the mentor, the mentor is is there
for them, they are able to help them navigate through
some hard times or know that maybe you know, oh,
I remember what that was like when I had to
(08:53):
go to prom without my mom, And I'm going to
be there because I know what they're going to need,
even though they don't they might not even know what
media or I know what's going to happen when they
graduate high school or middle school, and because I had
to go through that, and I can anticipate what that's
going to be like and how to support them. And
in a way it's therapeutic for the mentor because they've
(09:15):
lived through it, they know it. But at the same
time they're helping somebody else navigate it and that's very powerful.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
There is nothing better when someone gets it.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Yep, that's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
You have this fundraiser that's coming up. Tell me all
about it.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yes, So we as I mentioned, everything is completely free
for families, which means that we do one really big
fundraiser in Connecticut a year. This year, again, we are
so lucky to have our Life and Night Gala event
at the aquaturf in Southington. They are very generous with
letting us come in there, and we also have some
(09:52):
amazing mcs. This year we have Bob Maxon and Damon
Scott are co hosting our events and as the and
so you'll get to meet families, you get to help
provide support for the year for Empower by sponsorships. We
have amazing raffles and it's just a night of really
(10:14):
hearing about empower, what it does, the impact it has
on families in Connecticut, and really seeing the support that
is happening in Connecticut. In addition, we also run the
Illuminaria event at night and it's actually at the Aquaturf
too at the same time, where you can buy a
bag to put a name of somebody that is of
(10:35):
honor or as a memory of and they light up
the whole gardens at the Aquaturf. And it's a really
beautiful moving event too. That's included in that whole Gala
event as well, So there's a lot going on. It's
on May twenty ninth at the Aquaturf and it's it's
just a night that is very powerful and very special
(10:58):
for us in Connecticut because the fund our programming that
we do in Connecticut for all the families.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
So touching your web addresses, we are empower dot org.
People can get tickets there, they can become a sponsor there,
they can find out more information, volunteer, become a mentor mentee.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Yeah, and I think I love you know. I think
it's important too because somebody might be listening and saying, oh,
this doesn't really apply to me, because you know, I
haven't lost a parent, but they're like, I'm really interested
in helping. And we have a lot of volunteers too
that make this organization important because we are a lot
of it's done by volunteer. So even if you haven't
(11:39):
lost a parent, but you're like, oh, I really want
to help out or I want to be able to
donate some time to an event, that is something that's
also something that we look for to and I know
you mentioned sponsorships too, that's a huge part of our fundraising.
We're always looking for sponsorships. There's the sponsorship application on
there too to help sponsor events in Connecticut and throughout
(12:01):
the United States. So that was another great option as well.
If you know, if you don't, if you haven't experienced
that loss of a parent.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I'm speaking with Christina Zarotni. She is program coordinator of
Girls of Mother Laws for the Southern New England region.
She's here from Empower. The event is on May twenty ninth.
Go to we are empower dot org for more information.
Thank you so much for being here today and for
all of the amazing work that you're doing.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Thank you so much for having me
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