CALLING HOME with Whitney Goodman, LMFT

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of child abuse and domestic violence.

In this Q&A episode, answers a question from a woman whose parents responded to her request for space by suing her for access to her children. In the second question, from a man whose mother stayed with an abusive partner and is still with him today. He asks what to make of a parent who chose someone else over her kids.

Whitney Goodm...

People don't walk into a therapist's office and say they're having a differentiation problem. They say they feel like a different person around their family, or that they have a whole life their parents know nothing about. Whitney walks through what differentiation actually is, and the four very different situations people are in when they can't be themselves around family.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- What differentiation me...

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers two questions from listening asking what their responsibility is to people who aren’t going to change. In question one: a stepmom asks how much to intervene with a 19 year old stepson who is getting pulled back into a controlling household. In question two: a woman who seeks advice about parents who give her migraines and stomachaches every time they call.

Whitney Goodman is a Licen...

Content warning: This episode discusses suicide, postpartum psychosis, and the deaths of children, and includes detailed discussion of the Lindsay Clancy case.

The Lindsay Clancy trial revealed a family that was educated, involved, genuinely, and yet still could not see how much danger their family member was in. This is not an episode about what the Clancys did wrong. It's about why people conceal what they're going through eve...

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers questions about parents who pull back instead of facing accountability. In question one: a father goes silent for a year after his daughter discovers he secretly bought her sister a house. In question two: a mother wants a third family therapy session, after quitting the last two the moment the therapist named something she didn't like. 

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Fam...

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of child abuse and references to sexual abuse.

Kreed, host of the Estranged Heart Podcast, shares her perspective as both a formerly estranged adult daughter and a formerly estranged mother, now reconciled with her daughters. Kreed and Whitney cover the common mistakes parents make when first reconnecting with children and what their children actually need from them instead.

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of domestic violence, child abuse, and suicidal ideation.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers questions about families who respond with denial when being called out. In question one: a parent threatens suicide to shut down an argument. In question two: two parents shield each other instead of the kids.

Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) a...

Rin Reczek spent two decades studying families before she turned her research toward estrangement.  What she found in the data took her by complete surprise. In this conversation, the sociologist and author of Families We Lose explains why the estrangement rate probably isn't actually rising, why the language of "honor thy father and mother" shows up even in nonreligious families, and why grandparent estrangement is almost nev...

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of self-harm, physical and emotional abuse, and a parent expressing suicidal ideation.

We spend a lot of time talking about the person who decides to go no contact, and much less about everyone else who ends up living with that decision. In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers a woman in her 30s who inherited and is now dealing with the consequences of her mother's estrangemen...

We have the cure for estrangement: just see your parents as children too. Easy. Case closed. [Read: sarcasm] In this episode, Whitney traces where this sometimes helpful and sometimes very unhelpful idea came from and shows how something genuinely useful got turned into a permanent exit ramp from accountability.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- How "your parents were children too" worked its way into self-help

- Why unfinished bus...

Content warning: This episode contains descriptions of suicidal ideation, child abuse and neglect, childhood sexual abuse, and abortion.

Whitney answers two questions about accepting a family situation you never chose and never asked for. First, a mother whose family just lost a three year grandparent visitation case. She is being mandated by family court to send her children on unsupervised monthly visits with a grandmother she...

If you've spent time in the estrangement conversation online, you've noticed how fast it flattens into two camps: the people who cut off and the people who got cut off. Ashley and Jon Lefrandt have lived on both sides of that line. The couple behind Leave Then Cleave joins Whitney to talk about what happened when they asked for space from one family member and ended up estranged from 40 family members. Together they explore what it...

Content warning: This episode contains a description of a traumatic birth, postpartum complications, and abuse.

Before the Q&A, Whitney opens with an unscripted reflection on taking a break from Instagram. She then moves into two listener questions from people who have stopped waiting for an apology and are asking what comes after you finally see your family clearly.

In this episode, you'll learn:

- How to handle being the...

“He's been hard since the day he was born.” “Something in her is just off, and always has been.” “Is there something broken with my child?” Whitney traces questions and the fears beneath them to a centuries old belief that some people are simply born bad. It’s a belief that has changed costumes across religion, science, and psychology but never fully gone away. Whitney brings questions like...

How do you keep giving to a relationship that isn't giving much back? How do you know when you've finally done enough? In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers two questions that arrived from very different places but land in the same spot: radical acceptance. First, a woman exhausted by in-laws who never make the drive, never offer help, and never seem to notice the effort going one direction. Second, a woman whose gone no contact...

Something goes wrong at home. A glass tips over. Someone forgot to change the laundry, unload the dishwasher. The dog escapes. Within seconds there's a full trial underway about whose fault it is. Whitney breaks down what's actually happening in families that run on blame.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why blame feels like accountability but actually prevents it
• How the scapegoat and golden child both learn about fault
• The thr...

Content warning: This episode discusses childhood abuse, domestic violence, racial slurs, and the death of a sibling.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney reads a single letter from a woman who survived a childhood of severe violence, lost her sister at 24, and is now permanently no contact with a family system that still minimizes what happened. Whitney takes the letter in pieces and answers all three of her questions.

In this e...

Dr. Lindsay Gibson's first book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, gave millions of people language for what happened to them growing up. Her new book flips the lens for the people who are now raising kids of their own and are quietly terrified of passing it all down. Whitney sits down with her to talk about what actually builds emotional maturity in a child, and what to do in the moments your own immaturity shows up.

In this Q&A episode, Whitney answers two questions from people trying to figure out where acceptance ends and cutting off begins. First, a woman who thought her mom was finally going to leave her father after a major blowup involving favoritism, triangulation, and infidelity, only to watch her mom stay and start calling her the difficult one instead. Second, a new mother whose parents made her postpartum period worse instead of...