Flashback: In the Car with Timothy Simons

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Are you leaving?

Speaker 2 (00:03):
I you wanna way back home?

Speaker 3 (00:06):
Either way, we want to be there.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
time and a terminol and gay.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
We want to send you off inside. We wanna welcome
you back home. Tell us all about it. We scared
or was it fine? Melbourne?

Speaker 4 (00:49):
Do you need to ride?

Speaker 3 (00:51):
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do your need to ride?

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need
to ride? This is Chris.

Speaker 3 (01:17):
Fairbanks, This is Karen Kilgareff.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
We when's the last time we drove in the morning?

Speaker 3 (01:22):
I don't. I mean there was one like six a
M L a X drop off we did for kind
of originality. Yes, one of our greatest regrets.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
Yeah, I think it was early on we realized we
made a grave mistake.

Speaker 3 (01:38):
So we didn't need to be so on theme.

Speaker 4 (01:41):
Yeah, not to if if someone missed their flight, I think,
thanks be to the.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Lord of above, we'd never let that happen.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
But it's nice because we're going to do this episode
that have the rest of our day, have many lucrative naps.
I have a lot planned for today. I actually have
nothing planned, but.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
It's gonna be great.

Speaker 4 (02:09):
And I like this is as close as we get
to seasons there.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
It's risk out. It is risk sixty five.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
I almost wore a long sleeve shirt, but I had
to pull back at the last minute.

Speaker 4 (02:22):
Yeah, I brought a sweatshirt just in case, just in
case there's some cloud coverage that changes everything.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Do you mind dropping that into my purse as a
favorite thing?

Speaker 2 (02:32):
And I just through it out the window.

Speaker 4 (02:33):
He's buying a Valentine's Day bouquet early.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
I mean a true bucket of roses. That guy was
loading into the car.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Where did you told you? Handed? Thank you? I will
put it there.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
It was making it's my garage door opener closer, and
it was making an excessive amount of noise.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Does it have a mind of its own?

Speaker 3 (02:56):
It's just real clicky and plastic. Yeah, you know, like
everyone in La exactly.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Don't get me started. I disagree.

Speaker 4 (03:06):
I feel like we live in a very salt of
the earth, part of the earth.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Really, Yeah, where everyone's really authentic.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
No, where they're really salty, Oh, like angry fishermen.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
Now those days are over. I left the marina.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
I left the retired boat people. I feel like I
am part of a community now good. Yeah, I very
much enjoy living in a neighborhood where I've introduced myself
to neighbors and I'm glad. I'm glad I did that
move a retired people that are younger than me.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
Yeah, the people that can afford boats, yeah, boat people.

Speaker 4 (03:51):
Yeah, they're not although anyone if Yeah, I'm not talking
about water skiers.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
You know, we have a lot of water skiers that listen. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yeah, Chris, you seem to have a whole like, I
don't know, where are you going on to a fan page,
Like when you come and report those types of demographics,
where are you getting your right it?

Speaker 5 (04:11):
You know?

Speaker 2 (04:12):
I go out in the streets, uh huh.

Speaker 4 (04:14):
And sometimes those streets take me to the ocean mm hmm,
and I meet the people of the sea.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yes, it's inevitable.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
And then when you're there, you say what are your hobbies? Right,
and they almost all the time say water skiing.

Speaker 4 (04:29):
Yeah, they stop swabbing, they're at poop deck and they're like, well,
I like anything that deals with boats. And I'm like
and I immediately am like, well, we don't have a
lot in common.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Then yeah, I get you know me, I.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Get sick right, sick of talking to boat people. Yeah,
we are using a phrase boat people. You know that's
kind of problematic and we should stop saying it sounds bad.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
But I simply mean.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
It's used badly usually. That's why we shouldn't be saying
it sounds offensive.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
I'm talking about people that pay rent and live on
another person's boat and pretend it's their boat.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
So I think you have to say exactly that every
single time.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
It doesn't have a nice ring to it.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
P w l O.

Speaker 6 (05:18):
I'm just saying shorten the right pwlbs. There's these people
that live on others boats, people plobs, pwlbs. I every
year I do a show that's a fun racer for
the plwobs.

Speaker 4 (05:33):
Oh yeah, and they aren't thankful, no, no, some of
the least grateful people on the planet.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
They like, they just want, they just want.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
It's the Marina lifestyle that makes them hungry for more. Yeah,
always yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:48):
And then they judge me. They know that I'm never
at c Yeah, they can see it in their eyes.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
Because they're like, oh, could you hand me that fork?
That's aft? And then you're like, I just don't know
what direction.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
Are, Yeah, starboard deck. I'm like, I don't know what.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
Can't communicate with you?

Speaker 4 (06:05):
Yeah, and then I can tell they look at me,
and then I can hear them under their breath mutter landlubber.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
Yeah, that's what they call me or also poor person.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, never had scurvy.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
Now you're talking about pirates or you're talking about people
that have boats.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Scurvy.

Speaker 4 (06:22):
It has a reputation for being a scourge of just
the pirate folks, but anyone. Scurvy can rear its uglyhead,
no matter who you are.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Really, Yeah, big problem in other community communities besides pirates.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
Uh well, I guess in the in the navy have
limes on the boat to make sure.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah, yep, but the sea has to be involved if
you have scurvy, I think.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
So, I don't know, that's a very good question, right.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
Maybe today I'm gonna we're of course going to talk
about this the whole episode.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
So I hope our guest today.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
Knows about the sea. This is the theme of it's
been dictated. We can't go back on a theme. But
I do I do want to be on a boat.
I just maybe I'm jealous but I will no matter
what size, be it cruise ship or row boat. I
found that I get seasick, and I wish I wasn't

(07:21):
that way. I've tried to look off at the horizon.
I've tried to do everything you're supposed to do.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
Do you take drama mein?

Speaker 2 (07:29):
I put a patch?

Speaker 3 (07:30):
Yeah? Those work right, Yeah they do.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
But sometimes you forget about your seasickness patch.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
So that's a different problem. Yes.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
Which fanny pack did I grab?

Speaker 3 (07:44):
Neon orange?

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (07:46):
Or the one with the pirate on the front?

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Oh damn it?

Speaker 4 (07:51):
Did you know that it is illegal to fly at
a skull and cross bones flag a jolly rod at all?

Speaker 2 (08:02):
They don't take it lightly at sea?

Speaker 3 (08:05):
Is that true?

Speaker 4 (08:06):
Modern day? You cannot have a pirate flag. I suppose
on a lake somewhere in the middle of the country
that went, but at in the ocean the coast guard
will say, take that down.

Speaker 3 (08:19):
Where are you getting this information?

Speaker 2 (08:21):
It's just something I've heard.

Speaker 4 (08:24):
It's something I've heard from someone that maybe you know,
they were just in a park or something.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Some of them really has no credentials.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
From its just standing in a park screaming the jolly
Roger is illegal?

Speaker 4 (08:37):
And even when they're in a trembling bush screaming, I
can tell I can look in someone's eyes and at
least see that they believe it.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yef, they believe it. That goes a long way with me.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
That's all you need in twenty twenty three. Facts are
feelings exactly.

Speaker 4 (08:53):
Yeah, we can make up science is a man made idea.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Yeah, true, that is true.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
But I do I do think. Yeah, it's an old law.
It's like it falls in line.

Speaker 4 (09:05):
Like I guess technically, when you get out of jail
in Montana, you can demand a horse, but no one
does it because they're going to go h.

Speaker 5 (09:14):
No.

Speaker 4 (09:16):
I know that it's still a law. We just haven't
gotten around to changing that one.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
You could demand that they provide you a horse to
get somewhere. Yes, you have to give it back.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
I don't know if it's a like a horse rental.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
They can't be giving away horses to people who just
were in jail.

Speaker 4 (09:35):
This was when I was younger, but in my lifetime
I do remember. So they're like, ah, man, they got
us on this one. They had to get a horse
for a guy. It's kind of like in a bar,
if you go some man will come in and hand
his gun over to be put in the safe. It's
like an old timy law. You can bring a gun
into a bar in Montana and they'll put it in

(09:57):
a stafe.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
It sounds to me like you think that theme of
this show is that you just say a bunch of bullshit.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
I promise you, as it's been proven in the past,
you'd be very surprised at how much of this is true.

Speaker 5 (10:11):
You would.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
It would shock you.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
Has been proven, then that's true. Actually, you've said things
that I thought were outright lies, yes, before that have
googled to be true.

Speaker 5 (10:21):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (10:22):
If I if I say something and it's kind of
high like this, that's when you know I'm just talking
out of my ass.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Oh okay, when people lie, they get very high.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
How's your day, I'm doing pretty good? Good higher, I'm miserable.
I do. I do? I think that that could be taken.
I can't. I think that could be a bit.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
Yeah, I write it down in your little notebook.

Speaker 4 (10:45):
And so I tell a couple lies, and then I
get to the biggest lie, and then I just pay
play a high pitched dog whistle.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
Though. Yes, the audience would love it.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
The audience wouldn't hear it, but the dogs would love it.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, right outside, there'd be three dogs.

Speaker 7 (11:00):
It is.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
Then a horse that would be like, we love your comedy.

Speaker 3 (11:03):
We got we got that fourth joke that no one
else heard. There's it's one thing to not be gotten
in stand up comedy, it's another to just not be
heard at all. Right, very difficult.

Speaker 4 (11:15):
Yeah, yeah, it's It's why there's not a lot of
dolphins touring doing that surag good like they used to.
I do want to see dolphins. When the last when's
the last time you were on a boat? You know,
I'm a boat guy.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
When's the last summer? I know? We're going back to it.

Speaker 4 (11:38):
And there's just a whole pod of dolphins following along
trying to be friends.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
Like Hey, hey, yeah, Chris, I don't go on boats.
I don't. I don't get this.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
You're acting like that. That's my fault. You could easily
be a boat person like me.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
And you'd never heard about it in eight.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Years in I heard about what.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Sorry, you fucking dick, It's okay.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
I stared at the side of their face.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
Literally there was the largest spout for me to merge into,
and that guy sped up to let me not merge.

Speaker 4 (12:13):
Yeah, that is one of my least favorite, Like it's
this childhood me first.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
Thing, well me first into us into a once empty
spot on the freeway. It makes no sense.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, we see it a lot. We've seen it a
lot in the last few episodes.

Speaker 4 (12:30):
People rushing to get in front of you so they
can wait, and then ultimately they forget about it and
you casually pass them.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
It's like, where's your aggression now, yeah, and they're like,
I don't know who you are? Yeah, because I never
This was a one way experience for me. I just
cut you off. I wasn't thinking about you.

Speaker 4 (12:47):
And then you flip them off and make full eye
contact and rush to your audition and surprise, they are
the casting director. Every single time it's happened, it's happened
that I did not raise my voice on because that
was a true event.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
That was a true one where you flipped off a
casting director. Yes, did they see you?

Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yes? Did they recognize me upon entry to the yes?

Speaker 5 (13:12):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (13:12):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Did they laugh in your face and say never darken
my door again? No?

Speaker 4 (13:17):
There was just an unspoken like, well, I guess we'll
go through with this. Oh, but you did not get
the part, and I understandably not.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
I that's exactly what I would have done.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
Now, what if there was that moment and then you
auditioned and you were the best they've ever seen. Do
you think they would have given it to you?

Speaker 4 (13:39):
Despite well, there is this It gets interesting because a
lot of the people that are in it, Oh, you're
about and at the end of this whole thing, real
funny joke. Okay, yeah, so race yourself. Put on a
second seat belt for this zinger. A lot of these

(14:01):
casting people are actors themselves, and I one time this
guy was being he made an actor in front of
me cry and I was like, you know that you
really just hurt her feelings, right, And he acted like
he didn't care. And he's been a jerk before. This
is commercial where you go in and be like that's

(14:23):
my favorite Cracker and drive all.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
The way right, you know, it's usually some Cracker commercial.

Speaker 4 (14:29):
And I called him out on being not nice and said,
that's there's that anger I've always seen in you.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
I've actually said, he's an angry person.

Speaker 4 (14:43):
I did get the part, and when I went to
the shoot, which happened to be in Spain, I'm not
bragging a binto Spain.

Speaker 3 (14:50):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (14:51):
He was also cast in one of the commercials were shootings,
so at the end, he was just an actor that
operates the camera, watches people blow it all day, learns
that what they should be doing and what he's seen
people do wrong all day.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
At the end of the day, ames the camera at him,
books it.

Speaker 4 (15:12):
And then he showed up and I'm like, oh, the jerk,
the casting jerk is here and he's also an actor,
and no one everyone knew he was a jerk, and
we were all having fun, you and know, all these
French Canadian actors and he's sitting by himself because he
wasn't very nice.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yeah, oh, I promised a joke off at the end
of the night. Oh nuts.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
I mean, at least we all learned a lesson about
French Canadians.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Speaker 3 (15:43):
It's a classic, I mean true, except here in Hollywood.
I don't know, right, feel like you're gonna you're slamming
your head against the cement wall with those expectations.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
What are you talking so bad about our city, our
community today?

Speaker 3 (16:00):
You know the people that live in it? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yeah, there's no people.

Speaker 4 (16:05):
I know it depends on one at like three in
the morning if you just go out and everyone's in bed.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
This is a beautiful, friendly.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
City which is a little bit of trash on the ground.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yeah, yeah, just a little bit. I always call it in.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
Guys. Listener, We're on the one on one South free
right right now, very famous here in Los Angeles, very
uh oft used oft crowded freeway. So we're going six
miles an hour, yes, trying to get where we're to
pick up our guest. It's it's classic la Chris is
telling you La stories of the experience of being an actor. Here,

(16:48):
I'm telling you what it's like to be a driver here.
You might as well live here because this is the experience.

Speaker 4 (16:53):
Yeah, that's all you would be doing here, driving to auditions.

Speaker 3 (16:57):
Telling audition stories.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
Yes, with zero payoff, but you.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
Still have time to give it. Throw a button on
that thing.

Speaker 4 (17:06):
I find it amazing on navigation where they will say
turn right up at historic Roots sixty six. Maybe technically
at one point parts of this freeway and parts of
like surface streets were part of Root sixty six. But
those old wooden signs that used to say, Root sixty

(17:28):
six are no longer up.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, so why refer.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
To it, right, because it's more confusing than helpful.

Speaker 4 (17:37):
Yeah, yeah, because there's no I would love it if
there's a rickety old timey wild West Root sixty six sign,
But then it puts that song in your head, right,
get your kicks right? No thanks, and now it's in
everyone's head.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (17:55):
The odds of me merging, Oh I'll just do you
know what all who is do the little wavy eye contact?

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Well that was a waste of it, but it does work.

Speaker 3 (18:05):
This guy in the black Mercedes Classic, he has to
merge at the front of the line. Yeah, you what
a diershebag.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
I think that he was probably a normal guy before.

Speaker 4 (18:15):
He had to be before that, when he had his Honda,
he would just wait.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
He had to.

Speaker 3 (18:19):
He would wave people over.

Speaker 4 (18:21):
There's something about having that luxurious power that changes your personality.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
It's true, it has to be. It happened to me
when I was I got a BMW and I could
feel my personality changing. That's amazing. That guy just took
a right from the left lane, laziest helmet.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
That was a classic. I mean it is.

Speaker 4 (18:41):
They usually have an illustration on the back of trucks
that say, do not be here because I do tend
to make these wide.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Turns, you know, catch you.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
I never really understood what that meant. Now I get it.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
I guess they can do that. It's just a sunspoken thing.

Speaker 4 (18:58):
Again, if you're a boat person with a Mercedes or BMW,
you might be the sweet humanitarian.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
We're generally let's see the fucking receipts.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
You get the Yes, we want to know how many
humanitarian purchases you've made. Yeah, they better be donation receipts
from Goodwill, they better yeah.

Speaker 5 (19:20):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
But now we're on a surface street.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Yeah, we're off the freeway, thank god.

Speaker 4 (19:26):
Yeah, and it's easy breezy. It's one of my favorite
parts of town.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
I just love. We're in Silver Lake right now.

Speaker 3 (19:34):
It's pretty nice.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, I mean, look at those awnings. It's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
Also, everybody because the property value is going up, like
skyrocketing over here. Everybody's painting their apartment buildings, they're redoing,
their re doing it. I don't know. Yeah, I got
to find another word for redoing, and that.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
Refurbishing.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
They're furbishing and ref.

Speaker 4 (20:00):
Yeah, they're they're taking what isn't great, making it look good.
Polishing turns you will, and I guess I will. I'm sorry,
but I've been thinking about getting a pressure washer just
to just clean the front of my apartment. It's not
on me to do that, but if I don't do it,
no one will.

Speaker 3 (20:19):
That seems to be the approach you take to your apartment. Yeah,
you're kind of like the landlord there, but you yes,
you just don't make the money.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
You're very right.

Speaker 4 (20:27):
I don't want to bother them because then they'll pay
attention to me.

Speaker 3 (20:30):
And find out that you've made the inside of your
apartment into a campsite.

Speaker 4 (20:34):
Yeah, riddled with a litter of kittens, nothing but rule
open flame.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
I'm off the grid in there, a lot of candles.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
Where does insallation come from the last you? I don't know,
you'll say, I think it's always been there. No, it hasn't.

Speaker 4 (20:49):
But because I've never called attention to myself, they've never
once raised my red I mean, oh good, Yeah, it's
stayed the same for four years. The fit so many memories.
But this is this part of Silver Lake. We're on
the side here on the street.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
What is the street?

Speaker 5 (21:11):
Do you know?

Speaker 8 (21:11):
I think we're on Silver Lake Boulevards. Yes, not classically,
I think you are correct. But I love a community
on a hill. This is just stacked up on the
right here.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
It looks like.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
Legos in the in foliage. Oh yeah, yes, just like
blocks on each other.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
It's beautiful, beautiful hillside homes that I.

Speaker 4 (21:34):
Suppose in a rainstorm would make you nervous. But when
it's nice and dry out. God, I love a good
stacked community.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
Just have you ever been to Rio?

Speaker 5 (21:45):
No?

Speaker 2 (21:46):
Digit? Yeah we we, yes, they famously.

Speaker 4 (21:51):
I believe the Jesus statues in those hills.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
Think so.

Speaker 4 (21:58):
Maybe maybe elsis in Brazil stacked houses?

Speaker 2 (22:04):
No, I mean city wise?

Speaker 3 (22:05):
Oh they have Carnival, yes, yeah, first and how the
third degrees?

Speaker 4 (22:14):
Yes it's love Oh yes, oh, I'd forgot how he talks?

Speaker 3 (22:21):
Well, actually that's who is that character.

Speaker 2 (22:24):
He actually talks like this, Oh lovely, You didn't like
he did?

Speaker 3 (22:31):
Thirst and how the third. But then there's another like
cartoon character that talks like mister, oh those dogs are happy.
He was.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah, I'm the same actor.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
I'm supposed to be. Turning on to the street we
passed already, ah right, yeah, damn USh let's see what
happens if I turn up here. Hi, guys, big hill.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah, fun, we can do this, to just.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
Go around in a circle and come back down.

Speaker 4 (23:02):
Yeah, there'll be there'll be a turnabout. Oh see, this
is learning us of a Jenga piece.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Oh yeah, that's helpful.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
It's just better.

Speaker 5 (23:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
But also to take a left hard at the top
of this hill is in sanity.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
Right.

Speaker 4 (23:19):
And then if someone's coming, I always think someone is
just going to be a jump from a sixties movie
suddenly happening.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
Steve McQueen, come up that hill, right, Yeah, when you
try to take a just.

Speaker 4 (23:30):
In your face, it's some lost scene from Bullet, a
movie that both our dads made us watch.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
Well, a classic, a holiday classic.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yeah, maybe it's time I watch it.

Speaker 4 (23:44):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
I always have.

Speaker 4 (23:47):
Wanted kind of to have my house be fumigated and
you go on vacation and your house looks like a.

Speaker 3 (23:54):
Bounce house, but you'd be gone.

Speaker 2 (23:56):
Yeah, but you can drive by it and be like,
I'm fun looking me.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
You're on vacation, but you're more like it's staycation in
the city.

Speaker 4 (24:04):
They love it if they're fumigating your house. The exterminators
love it.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
If you show up every day to see what's going
on to check.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
Hey, guys, keep pulling up the little bottom piece of material.

Speaker 4 (24:16):
Please don't nothing but poison plese sir, hell, I just
want to see what you poison doing. You're covering chemical burns. Yes,
I have been visiting. I've been going inside. I've made
a sandwich. I hope that's okay.

Speaker 3 (24:34):
Are Oh, I've passed it like way back there.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
It's gonna work out though.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Yeah, I just sailed on by it, enjoying silver Lake.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Well, you know, and I'm not doing my job.

Speaker 4 (24:46):
You are operating a motor vehicle and I should be
helping navigate.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
I mean, if I were a man of the sea.

Speaker 3 (24:57):
You you're so caught up in your ow stories that
you can't help. And I understand we're going.

Speaker 7 (25:03):
To take left in about I'm not so much Yeah,
starboard okay, Yes, yeah, I love this dog park.

Speaker 4 (25:13):
It is the funnest place to watch. It's just weird
when you go there and you don't have a dog.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Yeah, but I have done.

Speaker 4 (25:20):
That, and I watch them create their little clicks. In
like ten minutes, you'll see a little community form. Someone
wrongs the other, they have a meeting, about it.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
They get kicked.

Speaker 4 (25:32):
Out and they have to go to the other There's
like a secondary dog park here for the ones that
aren't good with other dogs. Yep, I think that this
is like the Yeah, these are for the biers.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
I think it's bigs and littles, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
And we're gonna take it right here?

Speaker 3 (25:48):
Are you sure that's what I missed? That's what I
missed last time?

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Yeah, thing I had me at the helm. Take another
right here and I'll not still have to start wearing
masks again.

Speaker 2 (26:08):
I got some. She's just being careful.

Speaker 3 (26:11):
I think she's there.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
We're talking about you, ma'am, ma'am.

Speaker 4 (26:16):
I need to Yeah, we need to start appreciating the
public parks at the last minute here because pretty soon
it's going to be a five degrees cooler. God forbid.
There's a place to skate that I haven't been to.
I'm going to come back.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
Okay, what the fuck?

Speaker 4 (26:36):
And now, yes, this is a little weird, isn't it,
I think? To the right over here, yeah, I think.
And I want to get a hot dog, a little.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
Hot dog man.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
Mango instead.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
I've never done that, gotten mango from the mango cart.

Speaker 3 (26:51):
Have you uh so apparently he he lives back there
at the at the public park.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
No, I think we're gonna it's coming up.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
Oh I thought that green thing was the where we're going.

Speaker 2 (27:07):
Oh, that's just there for the mango man.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
Oh it's the black drop, pin drop whatever.

Speaker 4 (27:16):
Yeah, it's just Oh that's that's like the abandoned car
on your street that claims to be a sports agent. Oh.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
I think we're gonna up there. I believe so.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yes, guys, I truly couldn't do this without you.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
Yeah, well, this is where you get into these weird
serpent It might be this house right here, could it be?
I think it might. See that was faster than I
thought it would be. Hopefully it's not swimming in the lake.
I do have some questions about that lake, and I
hope that he appreciates them.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
Have you ever.

Speaker 4 (27:54):
Seen in that lake where I think we're right? Maybe
it's one more yeh where the whole lake is covered
with those black balls.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yes, do you know what that is?

Speaker 3 (28:08):
That is for solar energy? I think so they're they're
trying to keep the water from evaporating and use it
for solar energy.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
Okay, there he is. I like that sweater.

Speaker 5 (28:27):
By everybody?

Speaker 3 (28:28):
Hi?

Speaker 5 (28:29):
Hi, Hi, really, can I ask a question?

Speaker 2 (28:32):
Sure?

Speaker 5 (28:33):
So you think you said? What time do you think
will be done?

Speaker 3 (28:36):
Whenever you need to be done.

Speaker 5 (28:37):
I think if it's better, if if you feel like
it's better to go longer. I can be dropped off
at two up in Burbank if you think it's will
be like one one fifteen. I can just come back here,
get my car and then go to the thing.

Speaker 3 (28:50):
We usually record for an hour, so I think perfect thing.

Speaker 5 (28:54):
We'll just like go for an hour and then come
back here.

Speaker 3 (28:56):
Yeah, all right, cool, if that's okay, get back in
my car.

Speaker 5 (28:59):
Okay, sorry, one second, quite all right.

Speaker 4 (29:04):
I thought they were balls of charcoal and they were
filtering the water.

Speaker 3 (29:07):
Okay, do not talk about this when he's in here.

Speaker 4 (29:09):
Oh I won't like Okay, Mom's aware, No more like talk.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
Don't ask you about the ladies and gentleman.

Speaker 4 (29:18):
You've seen him at clubs and colleges across the country.
Put your ears together for Timothy Simon's everywhere.

Speaker 5 (29:26):
Hello, Hi, is that working? Yes?

Speaker 4 (29:28):
I should not speak for the sound, but I just
know I have faith in it, and so I just say, yes,
it is working.

Speaker 5 (29:37):
Are you recording right now we are.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
Indeed, yeah, we get right.

Speaker 5 (29:40):
This is great. Did they get that whole part about
where I was like where? Oh great? Yeah, yeah about
putting my backpack in the car.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
That's what the people love.

Speaker 2 (29:48):
Yes, sure I was.

Speaker 5 (29:50):
I actually ran into somebody the other day who was
like a fan, you know, and they were like, hey,
what's up? Like where do you push your backpack? And
I was like, look, man, I like, that's not I
don't give that away from free you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (30:01):
Podcasts only.

Speaker 5 (30:06):
So I thought I really latched onto this idea of
running an errand uh huh. So I thought we would
just go to the Costco real quick.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
We can do that.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Also, can you tell me how to get out of here?

Speaker 5 (30:16):
Oh, go to the right Okay. Andy McDowell just sold
that house up the street. She was living there for
a minute. Oh that's she's really chatty.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (30:27):
I grew up in Missoula, Montana, and she lived in Missoula,
Montana for a year for my entire adolescence. And she
was always at like city council meetings, and she would
my dad was like the tax property tax guy. She'd
go in and said he said, she was very chatty
and sweet.

Speaker 5 (30:47):
She's well, I guess I cannot say firsthand. It's like
mostly like my wife has like seen her around and
they talked, but everybody says very nice things. Yeah, that
one on those.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
Feelings where she put her backpack.

Speaker 5 (30:59):
Usually I feel like, I mean, I don't I don't
know her. I get a strong doesn't own a backpack
vibe right right? Yeah, I feel like she carries one
item when she leaves the house.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
Yes, you know what I mean, and that's Loril.

Speaker 2 (31:15):
Lipsticks, and that's.

Speaker 5 (31:18):
Did you're from Montana?

Speaker 2 (31:20):
I am, indeed.

Speaker 5 (31:21):
How how long have you? I'll just I love Montana?
Oh you do?

Speaker 3 (31:26):
Well, not really.

Speaker 5 (31:29):
I think I was up there. My wife and I
went there for our honeymoon, and I was like, oh,
I get it, Like I get why people move up
here if they don't ever want to see another person,
if they just right to own guns and be quiet.

Speaker 4 (31:41):
Yeah, and when when you're a young person, you just
want to get out. And when I visit now, I'm like,
what the hell was I thinking? This is better than
the ocean that there? And I imagine because you're from Maine, right,
I grew up in main I think we'd probably share
a line latitude, and so it's like a mountaine version

(32:03):
of man maybe or am I wrong there?

Speaker 3 (32:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (32:07):
No, there are like sort of mountain I think weather
wise and landscape wise, it's kind of the same. We
have like a sort of fair mountains and crags. It's
kind of a craggy state, you know what I mean,
jagged jagged. You know, everybody in New Hampshire was really
big about like their like the man in the mountain.
Do you guys know the man in the mountain. No,

(32:28):
it's like this rock formation that looked like a man's profile,
and it was like right on the ocean, and it
was like it's on the state quarter, you know what
I mean?

Speaker 2 (32:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (32:38):
And then I knew a girl in college from New
Hampshire who cried when it fell into the ocean. Again,
it was so jagged, it was so craggy it fell
into the ocean.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
Wow, Why did she cry that? Maybe the face looked
like one of her relatives or something.

Speaker 5 (32:56):
You know, I didn't actually ask follow up questions.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
And that's exactly what you should have done. Don't support
that behavior.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
When someone cries, I walk away.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
Get out their business.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
I don't have time for your trauma.

Speaker 5 (33:09):
Please, can I know you guys just made a joke
about that. I think I might actually hold this a
serious opinion.

Speaker 3 (33:19):
That's how I do. All my jokes is just what
I actually think that I'm pretending.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
I don't think that weird people laugh at them.

Speaker 5 (33:24):
Okay, Oh yeah, that's a joke to be a joke.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
I guess I'll wink. Now, Yeah, I I know. I
think nowadays, if someone starts crying, I'm there for it.

Speaker 3 (33:36):
Well, but with something like that where it seems like
an event that everybody would be receiving relatively the same way,
but someone's like, not me, this is the thing I
take the most to heart or whatever that event kind
of present, I'm like, oh, no, I didn't buy a
ticket for this.

Speaker 8 (33:54):
I have to go yeah, always yes, I guess, no,
go ahead, No, you go ahead.

Speaker 5 (33:59):
I I don't know. I think there is a thing
where it's just like I don't want to make a
broad generalization, but like if you're gonna cry about the
man in the mountain falling into the ocean, it's like
there is an underlying thing here that we are not
close enough for me to want to dive into.

Speaker 7 (34:17):
Right.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
Wait, can I ask you a question. Yeah, did you
go to theater school?

Speaker 5 (34:22):
I did?

Speaker 3 (34:23):
Yeah, this, I think this is a part of it.
I think so because I did too, and there was
a lot. I was surprised at how much people working
out their feelings publicly took place when that's not how
I was raised. And I was like, I thought we
were supposed to pretend when it was the appropriate moment,
not do it all the time.

Speaker 5 (34:43):
Right.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
Yeah, Now when people cry, I just say, oh, you're good.
Where did you train? I'm actually having a bad day.
That's great, I'm believable.

Speaker 5 (34:57):
In the moment.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
Yeah, amazing space.

Speaker 5 (34:59):
Where where did you grow up? And Karen? And where
did you go to theater school?

Speaker 3 (35:06):
I went? I grew up in northern California in Petaluma
and which is just north of San Francisco, And I
went to Sack State Sacramento State. Oh okay, where big
brag Tom Hanks went.

Speaker 5 (35:18):
Really I love this?

Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (35:20):
Was your teacher still dining out on that.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
A little tiny bit? He would? The freshman like theater
one teacher would mention Tom every once in a.

Speaker 5 (35:29):
While, Oh that's so grand, would say Tom.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
Yeah, I would say Tom. Another thing I learned I
don't like very early on where I was like, what,
don't say that, that's so embarrassing. But but those, all
of those things are the things that I basically was like, well,
this is all fun and like live performance, but I'm
starting to realize I just like the comedy part. I
don't I don't want to do this. I don't want

(35:53):
to walk through molasses. I don't want to act like
a pragmantis. Uh huh, none of that's for me.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
I've thought.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
I've found it all very humiliating.

Speaker 5 (36:03):
Yeah, it is humiliating.

Speaker 4 (36:05):
Some of the warm ups where it's like okay, I
get into a ball and you're going to blossom.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Things like that.

Speaker 4 (36:10):
I mean that's when you're young. That made me really uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (36:14):
There, looking back, I see the I see the importance
of some of it in like the I don't know.
I had a theater teacher in college who was like
the first person that like kind of introduced the idea
of just like sort of body work as exercise, and

(36:37):
that was it was just like, oh, like expanding on
how we are able to communicate ideas without just words,
without just like naturalism and straightforward action. Yeah, and I
thought that that was interesting, But I don't know, mate,
But she was like she was like an old school,

(36:59):
like old school hippie theater person, and like you know,
she had had like six discs fused in her back,
and she was very short and so she had like
this rigid posture and she was a reikie healer. And somehow,
after all of what I've just told you, I still
was like, this lady's fucking awesome.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (37:18):
I h The other theater teacher that I had, his
name was His name is Tom, So your friend might
know him. You're a teacher, might know Tom. He was
a guy who had great taste in plays, but was
so terrible at communicating them that we all hated him.
And we were all like, God, this this guy's so
fucking full of himself. And he kept talking about how

(37:40):
the FBI had files on him and wow, Yeah, theater
school is a fucking trip and nobody should be allowed.
Nobody should be allowed.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
Oh is that an LAPD? A recruitment moment?

Speaker 2 (37:55):
Yeah, let's go, what is recruitment moment?

Speaker 3 (38:00):
Do we need to get in there?

Speaker 4 (38:02):
It sounds like you do because you get free socks
and everyone thinks you want socks. Let's say police, but
I did that with the army, and they would not
leave me alone for it. I'm like, these are the
most expensive socks I've ever.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
No such thing as free socks.

Speaker 4 (38:16):
Yeah, that's something that I would want to do now,
be part of a theater community.

Speaker 5 (38:22):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (38:22):
When I was young why I thought I didn't want
to feel uncomfortable or something.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
I don't know why it was scared.

Speaker 5 (38:29):
I think if you went to a college theater party,
you'd be like, I don't like, honestly, please keep me
under the boot, you know what I mean, Like we deserve.
There are times Jesus Christ like, I'm fully in support
of the strikes. I'm very much a union person. But
when I was out there and I saw people like
in a karaoke thing, I was like, I don't know,
maybe the studios are right, Yeah, I'm sure this is

(38:52):
you know. Yeah, go to a theater party and you'll
be like, I don't know, maybe empathy isn't a good thing.

Speaker 9 (38:57):
Right.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
It's hard to be well because the whole it feels
like the theme is like, yeah, you gotta be open minded,
you gotta get in there and like get rid of
the cob libs of who you are whatever, and it's
like do I or do I just have to pretend
I'm upset at this part of this. Yeah, there's a
couple ways to approach this. Not totally convinced, but I

(39:18):
have to say the I think you're so right that
people who I love that are great actors are the
kind of people who would probably just destroy and like
a movement for theater class because it is about like
not just you're saying things because you're mad, but then
like what does anger look like when you're just standing there? Whatever?
Kind of yeah, kind of next level stuff that when

(39:40):
I was eighteen, I was like, huh, who cares?

Speaker 5 (39:43):
Like I, you know, like who cares? This is about
how I'm feeling, Yes, And this is about me processing
something or finding out and like that is my own
personal journey and this is more important than the product
that the audience sees.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
Right right right.

Speaker 4 (39:58):
I think the closest I've been into a situation like
that is after I got my hip replaced, I was
forced to go to bar method class where I was
one the only male and everyone was really good at it.
And I've never done something where it's like you had
to as a group pay attention to your breathing, and

(40:20):
everyone's looking at each other for confirmation. People are always
like you doing okay, like with a difficult They were
all looking out for me, and I felt after that,
I did feel like I wanted to be in a play.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
I'm not even kidding.

Speaker 5 (40:35):
What did the doctor say, Oh so you actually want
to go up to the next light. Oh yeah, this
is like.

Speaker 2 (40:40):
I've made that mistake. Then up in some weird neighborhood.

Speaker 3 (40:43):
More than churches, right, yeah.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
This is where I skateboard on at seven o'clock on Sundays.

Speaker 5 (40:51):
I'm learning a lot about you in the last few minutes,
so I didn't have assumed in the first ten minutes.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
I go early morning to Costco and this.

Speaker 4 (41:01):
I make this turn once or twice a week, and
it's never to go get mustard.

Speaker 5 (41:06):
And you skateboard.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
Yes, yeah, I have post tip surgery post hips.

Speaker 5 (41:11):
Are you started post tips?

Speaker 9 (41:12):
No?

Speaker 4 (41:13):
I did it my whole life, and maybe it's the
reason I had to get my hip fixed. But now
I do a low impact version of skateboarding that is
just doing slappies on these curves.

Speaker 5 (41:24):
Hell yeah, And so.

Speaker 4 (41:25):
You're not doing a lot of jumping around you're finessing
yourself onto the curb and doing little poses.

Speaker 2 (41:32):
It's a lot like figure skaping.

Speaker 5 (41:34):
Okay, did your doctor specifically.

Speaker 4 (41:40):
Prescribe bar class, right? Yeah, sorry I missed. I be
a lot of the physical therapy that I was. That
part they right after surgery, They're sending people to my
bedside and like, okay, do these clam like shell stretch it.
I can't remember the word clam was involved, but just

(42:03):
you know, opening your hips and doing these things and
straight restrengthening all these muscles. And then someone that wasn't
a doctor said, you're doing bar method stuff like the ball.
I was squeezing a ball in between my knees. That's
a big part of bar method. And so I just
went on my own and sure enough it was like everything,

(42:23):
but not in an environment where it's just someone standing
there making me do it painfully. It was a group
of people doing it, and so I kind of got
into it and I loved it.

Speaker 5 (42:35):
Do you still do it?

Speaker 4 (42:37):
I don't, just because a lot of them closed down
during quarantine and I can't find a bar method place.

Speaker 5 (42:43):
Was there also a somewhat anti feminis not sorry, not
anti feminist, A somewhat feminist backlash against bar methods.

Speaker 4 (42:51):
Specifically, oh because of the weird There was like a
weird guy that started it that did bad things.

Speaker 5 (43:00):
You know. I feel like I just read that in
that God I'm going to butcher her name, Jai Jacinto
ringing a bell. There was what the fuck was it called?
There was like a book that was like on Obama's
like top ten books, and I read it and she
had like a section on bar method and like it's

(43:20):
I'm butchering every part, like.

Speaker 4 (43:21):
The history, no facts perfectly on this podcast. There, what
you're talking about is a thing. But I feel like
it's not bar method that it's.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
Well, there's the hot yoga problem.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
Yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 5 (43:36):
He was just straight up that guy was nuts, putting
arms in wherever he want. Yeah, just like full arms.

Speaker 2 (43:43):
Yeah, that is a hot yoga problem.

Speaker 4 (43:46):
The big thing was I at the time, I had
a mustache that some people, you know, mustaches, weren't every
other person has one now. But I looked a little
creepy and I was the only man in there, so
I would like I not They're like, who's this weird guy?
And they would actually make an announcement, Hey, everyone, the man,
and here is Chris.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
He got his hip fixed.

Speaker 4 (44:08):
This is part of his therapy, and I'd kind of
wave and everyone because they knew I.

Speaker 5 (44:13):
Felt uncomfortable, And then like Jeff on the other side,
they're like, this is Jeff. Nothing wrong with his clips,
His hips is clearly just in here to look at
women's He's a creep, total fucking creep. But we can't
ask him to leave.

Speaker 9 (44:27):
We did.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
We didn't reserve the right to refuse service to anyone,
and that's a problem mistake. No, if there was another
uh male in there, it was usually the partner of
one of the teachers, and I would assume that. I'm like,
are you married to the instructor today? And they'd always go, yeah,
how'd you know? Yeah anyway, because you're like me, but

(44:51):
you got healthy hips.

Speaker 3 (44:52):
This parking lot.

Speaker 5 (44:53):
Is is a little bit of a nightmare, insane. Yeah,
why don't If you want to just drop me off
out front, I can like run and grab the thing
and then run right out.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Here's my favorite curb by the way. You can see
it's all wax stop. It's perfect. That's so great that
that's where I spend once a week.

Speaker 5 (45:12):
I'm so glad we chose this place.

Speaker 4 (45:14):
Well, it's interesting because usually you get kicked out of
a blaze. The staff here, says Hi, they ask how
I've been. They they come and they'll like sweep the
curb while.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
We're stating it.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
They fully support it.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
They fully support it.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
Hi is we're going to get a parking spot.

Speaker 4 (45:29):
Yeah, sorry about everything we've said about Mercedes did.

Speaker 5 (45:35):
Before I go in, I'll just throw out this one
thing that one of my first jobs in Los.

Speaker 3 (45:39):
Angeles instead of dropping you off.

Speaker 5 (45:43):
Oh yeah, no, that's what one of my first jobs
in Los Angeles was. I did some handyman work for
Sheila Kelly's s Factor, which is the pole dancing oh class. Okay,
I believe Sheila Kelly. I don't know if they're still married.
They were married at times married to Richard Shift, the
character actor Richard Shit from from the West Wing.

Speaker 2 (46:05):
Oh okay.

Speaker 5 (46:06):
I just thought that has nothing to do with the story.
I just thought that was interesting. But I would go in.
But they because it was like a pole dancing class
or a pole dancing gym they had like they were
they were very strict because people would wear what you
would wear if you were dancing, and it was not really.
I'm sure there were some people there who were training

(46:28):
to be professionals, but a lot of people it was
just like, oh, this is a fun way to get
exercise and a fun way to build strength or whatever.
So there were very specific times that I could go
in and fix stuff there because they were like, we
are like there are no men allowed in here. Oh wow,
without permission at any like at any point. So I
had to like run in and like fix the bathrooms,

(46:51):
like fix the like the bathroom door in like an
hour and fifteen minutes. And if I got in there
and I was like, this is going to take way
more than an hour and fifteen minutes to just be
like go home. Wow. That so yeah, Chili Kellow's s factor.
They're protective.

Speaker 3 (47:05):
I have a I don't know if it was Sheila
Kelly's because I'm not sure how long that's been around,
but I worked on long, long ago. Zach Alphanek has
had a talk show on v H one, and we
did field pieces for it, and one somebody thought it
would be funny if we had Gene Simmons go to
a pole dancing class, and I'll never forget it was

(47:26):
so uncomfortable while we were there.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
Like from Kiss Yeah, yes, why I was thinking Richard Simmons,
but he did have cat makeup on.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
It was Simmons, yeah, with no cat makeup on. It
was when he was like I think he had been
on a VH one show or something. So it was
kind of like retro back in the It was the
year two thousand, so I can't explain much, but there
was no idea, and of course I became the field
producer and there was no idea. So it was just like,

(47:56):
can you imagine Jee's pole dancing class? And it was like,
uh huh, it'd be awful. And so he went there
and just walked around as these women tried to do
the exercises and he was so disgusting that they kicked
us out. And they had pre agreed to the idea,
but he literally was walking around. At one point, you
looked at this woman's ass and just goes nice dump.

Speaker 5 (48:19):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (48:20):
The teacher looked at me like I was in charge
of him, and it was like we have to cancel this,
and I'm like, great, idea, We'll see you later. Like
there was no defending, there was no nothing. It was
just like wouldn't it be great to watch Genie Simmons
be disgusting to women. And the answer is no, it
wouldn't be great.

Speaker 4 (48:38):
Funny situation where suddenly you're the handler of the guy
that says nice dump.

Speaker 3 (48:43):
I'm with this guy.

Speaker 5 (48:44):
Oh, I'm not trying to both sides this.

Speaker 4 (48:48):
Oh care we got him too, I'm next.

Speaker 5 (48:52):
I'm just talking like strict from your opinion, like when
you saw it, and I'm not I'm not doing anything
except asking a question.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
I'm just asking, boy, here we go. I mean, was
it a nice dumper?

Speaker 5 (49:07):
And that's why she was like, he's not being honest.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
Authentic, improv and I don't like it.

Speaker 5 (49:15):
The watching gene Simmons do anything, it seems like it'd
be a nightmare. One of my worst experiences ever and
I'm gonna say this because nobody likes him, is that
I went to the movies the night that the movie
Chronicle came out that was written by Max Landis, famously

(49:37):
wonderful person Max Landis.

Speaker 3 (49:39):
And the Ronicle who was in that Dane da Han.

Speaker 5 (49:42):
Michael B. Jordan. It was the one about like, you know, superheroes,
like a superhero story, but like a little bit do
you guys know who I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (49:50):
I know Max Landis, do you know him personally or
little bit?

Speaker 5 (49:53):
Okay, are you guys really good friend? No? Okay, no,
I'm going to continue.

Speaker 4 (49:58):
And felt weird because everyone was famous and I put
my feet in the pool and didn't make eye contact.

Speaker 5 (50:04):
This is great, you made a good choice. Yes, he
was really excited because his movie was coming out, and
Jean Simmons was at the arc light walking through the
walking through the lobby and Maxley and just ran and
slid on his knees across the floor up to Jean
Simmons and like made a big show of saying hello

(50:25):
to Jean Simmons and how excited he was to meet him.
On both sides of that, I hated it happened right
in front of me and I didn't know either of
these people at this point. But I was like, I
don't like a moment of this.

Speaker 4 (50:42):
In that moment, I would turn and move back to Maine.
Yeah that Honestly, I hadn't been here very long. I
was like, this is not a nice dump U. Yes, okay,
I'll be right back. Does anybody need anything while I'm
in there?

Speaker 3 (50:54):
Could you get me a flat of small freedom? Lay
chips just like one nd.

Speaker 4 (51:01):
I just have a piece of paper here with my
eyeglass prescription.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
I know it's a second line.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
It's handwritten. No doctors, No, we will.

Speaker 2 (51:09):
Be, we will plant, we will pause.

Speaker 5 (51:12):
I'll check on, I'll check on. Like, what do you
like progressive lenses for that?

Speaker 4 (51:18):
These are progs?

Speaker 2 (51:28):
He's back?

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Sweet?

Speaker 5 (51:33):
How did it go? When I was in there?

Speaker 3 (51:35):
It was just really tense. It was like, I think
Anisa and I are fighting. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (51:41):
Yeah, we've gotten a big argument about the music of Kiss.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
Oh really, the quality of the musician ship it is.

Speaker 5 (51:50):
I think it was.

Speaker 4 (51:51):
Josh Fatom who used to in his stand up make
like fun of how they came out dressed like monsters
and then the music could start and they're like.

Speaker 3 (51:59):
Oh baby, bit had sets and parties are fun.

Speaker 5 (52:03):
Like yeah, I always used to think that Judas Priest
was a fake band.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
Oh like a from a TV show.

Speaker 5 (52:15):
Basically that they were like the like fun. What's the
name of the band in the mockumentary that's very famous?
Oh yeah, yeah, spinal Tap. Like I honestly thought they
were his final tab, Like that's the only reason your
band would be called Judas priests. Yeah, yeah, it's have
you guys ever just straight up been in a store
and just been like, fucking, I'm gonna steal something.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
I can you just tell us really quick what that
eron was?

Speaker 2 (52:42):
If it's not too if you paid.

Speaker 5 (52:44):
For it, the people that The thing that people are
gonna hate about what I'm about to say is that
I play golf a lot.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
Hey, I'm sorry, but uh that's I mean too.

Speaker 5 (53:00):
Oh you do?

Speaker 4 (53:00):
And I think we were both in a tournament together.
Was it comedy?

Speaker 5 (53:07):
Nice? Yeah, it's coming up again, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
I haven't heard.

Speaker 4 (53:12):
I ended up golfing with the wrong group and kind
of they were upset with me.

Speaker 5 (53:17):
What did you do?

Speaker 4 (53:17):
They put my bag on a cart and I followed
my bag and then at the end they're.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
Like, why did you golf with these guys? Oh no,
my bag was on.

Speaker 5 (53:26):
Their cart, and how did you play? Though?

Speaker 2 (53:30):
We did well?

Speaker 4 (53:31):
I think we got uh what you got the gross
score and the net score?

Speaker 2 (53:37):
Not one of those?

Speaker 5 (53:38):
And you were you were one of those.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
Yeah, the guys we had like a ringer, you know,
it's a group and one of the guys clearly spent
his whole life golfing. The other guy was Bury from
Barry's Tickets, and then some guy from the Wind Casino.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
And there's a lot.

Speaker 3 (53:56):
Incredible.

Speaker 4 (53:57):
It wasn't no, but it was. He knows it and
he was very sweet. But I think I saw you
there just when we were all first. But I only
know you from like UCB, occasional y and I it's
also a situation where I've watched you and things, and
I maybe confuse that with a real life.

Speaker 2 (54:19):
Personal where's your backpack friendship?

Speaker 4 (54:23):
So I didn't, but I did have a feeling I
knew you from a golf thing.

Speaker 5 (54:27):
Okay, cool, Well, no, I'm not chat the next time
we're at a golf thing. Let's talk.

Speaker 4 (54:32):
Okay cool, because I also am embarrassed about how much
I'm into golf.

Speaker 3 (54:36):
And also, let's not let Timothy's sidestep what we're all
going to attack him for right now, whatever he's gonna say.

Speaker 5 (54:42):
So because I play a lot, and I like in
the last couple of years, started playing in like like
playing in like amateur tournaments, like just like kind of
local amateur amateur tournaments where you play like you know,
plumbers from your Belinda whatever I don't know is your
Belinda close to your.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
I've played with plumbing and heating guys.

Speaker 5 (55:02):
Also, yeah, like this is the vite, Yeah sou, But
there was there was one time where I was like,
I'm gonna be playing in this tournament up in O
High and it's gonna be like one hundred and five
degrees out And I was like, I, I it's like
hard to play golf even on like a regular day.
But what do I do if there's like the chance

(55:22):
of heat stroke? So I asked, like, you know, I
put it out to the general, like what do I
do to like stay hydrated if I'm playing? And I
got a recommendation for these like liquid ivy hydration multipliers.
Oh yeah, and they can like be kind of expensive.
They're kind of expensive if you buy them it like CBS,
but Costco has them for a much cheaper price of course,

(55:45):
but then you run the risk of not getting the
flavor you like, which is what happened today.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
May I see them?

Speaker 5 (55:50):
Yeah? What flav Aparently that's the Oh sure, I've had
the cherry and strawberry.

Speaker 2 (55:56):
And yeah, they're just little packets. There's going to be
like fifty of them in here.

Speaker 5 (55:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
Oh that's great.

Speaker 5 (56:00):
And so the recommendation came with this thing that was
like when somebody was like, I have to send a
lot of packages to family members who are serving like
in the military in the Middle East, and all they
want is liquid, I be really like this thing. And
so I was like, all right, that's like an actual
it's like a real life you know. I don't want
to say that my playing golf in Ohi and them

(56:23):
being like on your fire in Afghanistan is the same thing.
But I'm going to let your audience connect those if
they will.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
Yes, it is your service, Yes, yes, and.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
I thank you, yes, well, thank you.

Speaker 2 (56:37):
Yeah, No, it's not to be.

Speaker 4 (56:39):
I just did a one in in Montana, big sky.
They way up very high altitude, and it was very
beautiful and your like the t boxes where like at
the edge of a cliff, and then the fairway would
just be something the size of a there's a herm
here and I'm worried that. Oh it worked, it worked out,

(57:00):
It worked out.

Speaker 2 (57:00):
I thought we were going to do a mid car scrape.

Speaker 3 (57:03):
I thought we were going to just rip that whole
battery off from under.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
My back is riddled with sweats in that one moment.

Speaker 4 (57:10):
But I, because of the altitude and suddenly the ball
would go one hundred yards further, Like am I stronger
up here?

Speaker 2 (57:18):
But at the end I had to.

Speaker 4 (57:20):
And did throw up and I didn't see it coming,
And I think it was a minor, Like I just
wasn't drinking enough water. The altitude it was one hundred
degrees and I got sick at the end.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
So it is good that you have those.

Speaker 5 (57:33):
That's no, I honestly I recommend them. Now I'm like
a day to day guy. Now I'll have one a day.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (57:40):
I mean, like, guys, I don't want to brag. I
didn't come here to brag and probably like big time anybody,
but like, I'll drink a hydration packet every day.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
You know the actual did that guy do it?

Speaker 3 (57:51):
He's just saying there's another line. Oh, and everybody's in
one line.

Speaker 5 (57:54):
Yeah, everybody's in one.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
Yeah, so you'd kind of be screwing yourself.

Speaker 5 (57:57):
But this person, oh wait, is he trying to say
that he wants to get out and through?

Speaker 3 (58:02):
Yeah? But so do we all?

Speaker 4 (58:04):
Yes, that's yeah, the same thing. I'm glad you stood
your ground, I.

Speaker 5 (58:10):
Mean think you did.

Speaker 3 (58:11):
Everything's fine. You can't wait minutes.

Speaker 5 (58:14):
Skips ahead, we're gonna know. Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
I know that.

Speaker 4 (58:17):
The thing he's a roller skater, He's he's way into
roller skating.

Speaker 2 (58:23):
I just know him.

Speaker 3 (58:24):
Is that?

Speaker 5 (58:25):
When? How do you feel about driving during all this?
Are you okay?

Speaker 3 (58:30):
Oh? I love it? Okay, it's really well. I guess
it's like we've done this for a while and we
used to actually go to the airport a lot and wow.
So yeah, we really tried to stay on, like picking
up comics as they were coming home from doing sets
out of town or dropping them off on their way

(58:50):
to and but this was before Lift and Uber was yeah,
ninety percent on the traffic. We were kind of the
first Lift and Uber. I think, yeah, just one man.
Sometimes sometimes we would like we would switch, but there
was too much pressure for Chris.

Speaker 4 (59:08):
What I Karen is a It was a multitasker, and
I think I have ADHD or something I cannot fit
talk and finished sentences while staring a vehicle. Those two
things I will I will have And I'm okay with
that about myself.

Speaker 5 (59:29):
Karen.

Speaker 4 (59:29):
It does not affect her driving. She's still firing on
all cylinders.

Speaker 5 (59:34):
Do you have you guys ever almost gotten in an
accident or anything.

Speaker 4 (59:37):
That's a good question, and uh, we've now cursed the car. No,
we Yes, we once almost killed that Eddie Pepatone.

Speaker 3 (59:46):
But it was he didn't he didn't know and he
didn't mind.

Speaker 2 (59:50):
He didn't know.

Speaker 4 (59:51):
He was in the middle of a sentence. He didn't
see the very close to being t bone.

Speaker 5 (59:56):
I don't know any Hepatone. I've seen him a couple
of times. I think he's very funny. I can also
I could see, and please tell me if I'm wrong.
I could also see Eddie Hepatone being a kind of
person that, when he's in the middle of a sentence,
truly would not notice anything that's happening outside of that sentence.

Speaker 4 (01:00:15):
Yes, I think, like me, he's not a multitask. Yeah,
he is in that sentence and no accident. Could they
can finished it.

Speaker 5 (01:00:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
We also almost got attacked by a guy on a
bike who I think I can't remember what the problem was.

Speaker 4 (01:00:31):
It was back when I was I think I've maybe
drunk that episode and.

Speaker 2 (01:00:36):
I yelled something, yeah, we get it, you're on a.

Speaker 3 (01:00:38):
Bike, and they circled back around, and then he circled
back around and took his bike lock and went to
hit the car with it. Did He actually.

Speaker 4 (01:00:47):
Tried to hit your mirror, but then he shot out
into traffic and I'm like, oh no, now we're going
to watch this guy die.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
Yeah, the passion of hatred for us.

Speaker 3 (01:00:57):
He didn't die.

Speaker 5 (01:00:58):
He didn. I tell you. A guy that used to
be my downstairs name, my downstairs neighbor in Chicago is
a bike messenger, like young young guy really into biking.
He helped me build like a Chicago like sort of
like scrappy fixed gear bike. Yeah. Yeah, back when you
were the age that you did that sort of thing.
Are you guys? Did you guys ever spend any time
there in Chicago? I or you did? Okay, So it's

(01:01:21):
like a pretty bike accessible city. Yeah, like bikes in
public transport are pretty regular there.

Speaker 3 (01:01:27):
And so do you want a coffee?

Speaker 5 (01:01:28):
No, I'm good, I have one.

Speaker 3 (01:01:31):
Can I get a triple tall one pump hot moch up?
Do you want a coffee?

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
Oh yeah, I'll do a cold brew?

Speaker 3 (01:01:39):
Can we also get a grande cold brew with uh
oat milk? Okay, thank you?

Speaker 5 (01:01:49):
So I want to ask you questions about being sober,
but I'll just say to my downstairs neighbor building fixed
gear bikes. He had a lot of good bike messenger stories,
and apparently there was this I guess this is a
pretty common thing if you're gonna be a person who
spends a lot of time in like cold, But there
was like this real old school, like fifty year old
guy who was still bike messenger. Oh wow, and he

(01:02:12):
would do it. They would do it in all weather
at all times. And this guy's deal was he would
only wear shorts no matter what the weather was. But
if it was like snowing and freezing cold, he had
this big thing of like vasiline, like like patrollingum jelly,
like a giant jar of it at like the the

(01:02:34):
hub to give like context for your audience. So can
you remember remember like the clown hub in the movie Joker,
Joaquin Phoenix. It just like that. But for bike messengers, yes, I.

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
See them in New York. Still, the delivery like it's
more Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:02:50):
I don't think it's I think now that you can
like e sign stuff, it's a little less common, yeah,
but there are still some things that like need to
have a wet signature, like in fifteen minutes forty five
blocks away right right, So he would he would like
take the patrollingum jelly put it all coat his legs

(01:03:11):
with it, like ride bikes for the entire.

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
Day and shave its legs right.

Speaker 5 (01:03:17):
Well, no, at the end of the day, you would
peel it off and put it back in the tub.
Oh no more. Yeah, but like that's how you like
keep your uh that's how you keep your limbs warm.

Speaker 3 (01:03:28):
Sorry, can we go back to he would take the
vessel and back off his legs and put it back
in the jar.

Speaker 5 (01:03:34):
Because then if it was cold the next day, you
would use it the next Oh see, that's and I
don't think I mean, like I think if you're a
bike messenger budgets are you joes? You don't have like
an unlimited patrollingum jelly budget.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
I mean I can't.

Speaker 4 (01:03:47):
I can't imagine a less expensive Yeah, because there's mud
and street debris mixed in there, and he would just slather.

Speaker 5 (01:03:55):
It back on you like sweat and hair.

Speaker 3 (01:03:58):
Gross suh yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:04:00):
Yeah, no, I mean it's it's gross.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
Yeah, don't get me wrong.

Speaker 3 (01:04:03):
And it's a gross moment that it really needed because
I was ordering, well.

Speaker 4 (01:04:08):
I thought, yeah, I started to think that that was
a normal thing for because a lot of the guys
that rode bikes a lot growing up. They would shave
their legs and I thought put basiline on, But maybe
I'm thinking of swimmers.

Speaker 5 (01:04:20):
I don't remembers shaved their legs and arms, right, sure,
for sure the vasoline part that seems like a performance
enhancing Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:04:30):
That's well. In beauty pageants they put vacline on their
teeth so their lips don't.

Speaker 4 (01:04:34):
Sit to whether it's swimming or bike in or beauty
it vasoline is like you might as well be juicing.

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
And I'm not talking about juice. I'm talking about Wait a.

Speaker 3 (01:04:45):
Second, I just had a Gene Simmons memory.

Speaker 5 (01:04:49):
Huh what?

Speaker 3 (01:04:50):
And was was this you and I at the Burbank
Airport when we were standing there talking and I could
swear it was you on our way to bumber Shoot
and we're about to get on a Southwest flight. Whatever
I was seeing, there was somebody. I just sworn it
with you and Jeene Simmons was walking directly toward us,

(01:05:11):
and I was like, oh my god, it's seen Simmons.
And I was doing that trying to And I think
I can be very subtle if I'm trying to make
people not feel like I'm talking about them, So I
wasn't turning my head, and I was kind of just
being like, that's Steen Simmons. That's Steene Simmons, and whoever
I was with was like, yep, I see him. I'm
with you. And then Jean Simmons suddenly made a beeline

(01:05:32):
directly toward the two of us and was like, what
do you two up to? I want to see what's
going on over here. And it was so unnerving and
insane where it was like he picked up on the
fact that he knew we clocked him and wanted to
like get in on the Hey, you guys are excited,
I'm here. It was insane.

Speaker 4 (01:05:49):
I don't think I was there, but I'm just remembering
the time that happened to Michelle Balloon and I at
the Improp and he came up to.

Speaker 5 (01:05:55):
The same difference with Gene Simmons.

Speaker 2 (01:05:57):
Yes, but that's what we talked.

Speaker 4 (01:06:00):
About a little while you were getting me glasses.

Speaker 5 (01:06:04):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
I love them. I love this new.

Speaker 4 (01:06:11):
I thought it was normal to be blurry up in
this fourth quadrant.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (01:06:16):
And he went straight up to Michelle and said, I
don't know what you do, but I'm sure you do it. Well,
and then he looked at me and he said, and
you are a strong and handsome, powerful and handsome man.
And then later he had a book come out that
said it's like called a powerful and handsome man. It
was like he was trying out the title of his

(01:06:37):
book and he got it. I was like, thank you.
But he as creepy as he is. He had he
has kids that liked going to the improv and watching
stand up and his tall son was really sweet and shy,
and I'm like, well, he fathered these kids.

Speaker 5 (01:06:52):
So that was like, so you're your gauge of whether
someone is a good parent or not if they end
up wanting to watch stand.

Speaker 1 (01:07:01):
Up specifically, Yeah, okay, it goes.

Speaker 4 (01:07:05):
I'm not saying it dictates whether you're a good person
or not, but it makes me I'll defend you in
a court of law.

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
Nods.

Speaker 5 (01:07:14):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (01:07:15):
It was more that his children were like shy and
nice okay, and giggly and like excited to hang out
with a bunch of comics when their dad is a
big rug start. Yeah, they were bored with that, and
I like that.

Speaker 5 (01:07:30):
Did you ever see that Jeff Tweety documentary. I think
it was called I'm trying to break your heart.

Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
Oh I did not.

Speaker 5 (01:07:36):
There's a moment there in there where like Jeff Tweety
is dropping off his teenage son at school, and he's
doing like such quintessential dad stuff. He like kind of
doesn't know where his stuff is in the car, and
like he's like turning over his right shoulder to look
into the back seat to say goodbye to his son,
but his son is like kind of already out the car,

(01:07:57):
so he has to like then quickly adjust to be
over his left shoulder, like you know, opens the door
a little bit because you like can't figure out how
to get the window down. It's like a very dad
moment when the kid is just kind of like yeah,
all right, dad, what Yeah, I'll see you to night.

Speaker 10 (01:08:11):
Like yeah. It's like we're all like, if you have kids,
you're just fucking doomed. Yeah, it doesn't matter what you do.
And you you have kids, right I do. Yeah, they
just started middle school.

Speaker 5 (01:08:24):
I don't want to kill me.

Speaker 2 (01:08:27):
Oh why what did they suddenly care about?

Speaker 5 (01:08:31):
Their eyes open in the morning and they fucking hate us?

Speaker 3 (01:08:37):
Oh wow?

Speaker 5 (01:08:38):
And then their eyes shut at night and it's done.

Speaker 4 (01:08:42):
So so there's been relatively good times as they sleep.

Speaker 5 (01:08:47):
Yeah, but then you're just like but then you're just
like going through like the like the slide show of
all the times you fucked up as a parent that
day by like, you know, all the promises you made
yourself for they woke up to be like, all right,
this is how I'm gonna handle. It's so much better today.
And it's the roller coaster of it. It's like they
will be in one moment, like one of them looked

(01:09:11):
me in the face and said, Papa, you don't know
what the fuck you're no way?

Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
Oh yeah strong apf and okay, yep.

Speaker 9 (01:09:19):
And uh, and then five minutes later it's it's this
these wild swings between being a teenager and being an
elementary schooler. Yeah, like it's still like a sweet little
elementary schooler who wants a piggyback ride and wants to
be silly, and like, we have a thing where if
you if I hold your hands and you're facing forward

(01:09:40):
and your feet are on my feet, it's called the robot.
Oh sure, you know it's like, oh, Papa, I want
a robot. So every once in a while it's a robot,
but then five minutes later it's smoking a pack as sick.

Speaker 5 (01:09:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:09:53):
Wow, such an awful time. It's an awful I wouldn't
go back there for ten million dollars, truly, like it was.
It was so confusing and bizarre, and like all the
rules change, everybody around you changes, like you kind of
don't know what's going on at school anymore. The rules
are like everything just gets real gray area. It's so

(01:10:17):
fucking irritating. And then actually, when I lived in Chicago,
I went to this thing with my friend that was
really cool. What are you doing? Oh, you're just going
to step on one? Which was people. It was this
kind of event thing where people could come and give
a five minute or three minute presentation on any topic

(01:10:37):
that interested them. And so while we were there, there
was a guy gave a talk on how to photograph lightning,
and a girl gave a talk on working for Habitat
for Humanity. At the very end, the last lady was
a junior high teacher and she gave a talk in

(01:10:57):
defense of thirteen year olds. And I was sobbing by
all because she's like, here's the thing everyone hates thirteen
year olds. She's like, she's like, it is there. It's
the one time in your life where you're completely a
child and starting to become an adult. They have more
hormones in their body than any human does at any time,

(01:11:19):
and she just starts kind of like explaining physiologically how
awful it is for them, and then like sociologically how
awful it is, and like all those different things, and
she's like, and so I try to be the teacher
that sees them. And I was just like, I need
to do so badly when I was, you know, creat
or whatever, because it's really true. It's like when they're

(01:11:42):
sulky and they're snide and they're kind of like only
about their friends, you don't. It's very difficult to be
on their side. You're just kind of like, yeah, I
get it, but you know, actually there still are kids.

Speaker 2 (01:11:56):
And you're getting to hit with two at once. She
at once.

Speaker 4 (01:11:59):
That's double double trouble double so much classic.

Speaker 2 (01:12:04):
Use of the common phrase.

Speaker 5 (01:12:07):
I did actually hear something like close to that in that.
I think they were they were joking but kind of not.
They had that same attitude behind it, but they were like,
being a teenager should be a legal defense for murder, yes,
but if you kill someone, you should be able to
go up there and be like your honor. I was

(01:12:28):
a teenager. Yeah, like that. Your brain is at war
is your body.

Speaker 4 (01:12:32):
Yeah, here's the lobe that has compassion. I have not
quite developed this. I'm just imagining in a court of
law defending.

Speaker 3 (01:12:41):
And I feel like completely connected to every other person
my age around me, like I need to do what
they're doing. If I can't do what they're doing, it's
the world is ending, like those kinds of things of
like oh, you're not invited, that's the end chapter. That's
the last chapter of your book. Like, oh, just just
a nightmare. Always.

Speaker 5 (01:13:01):
I try trying so hard to it's just it's it.
I mean, like you just it's hard, like when somebody
just decides like I'm just gonna I'm gonna like punch
you in the face a bunch of times today and
they're not literally punching.

Speaker 3 (01:13:19):
Me in the face, just emotionally, just.

Speaker 5 (01:13:21):
Emotionally punching me in the face. It is it's just
hard to keep that that sort of like a thirty
thousand foot view of it. Yeah, And at some points
it's just like I don't know what to tell you.
You just gotta brush your teeth, Yeah, you just got
to do it. I've been saying it every day for
eight years. You just got to do it.

Speaker 4 (01:13:40):
And now you're probably at home Mark, like you're daling
with that all the time, right.

Speaker 5 (01:13:46):
Uh yeah, currently, yeah, because of oh hey, I mean
we might be doing this. I mean i've we've I mean,
I don't want this to be released four weeks from
now and be proved wrong. But I hearing possibly that
may oh really yeah today maybe today, Today is a day.

Speaker 3 (01:14:04):
Oh wow, I didn't hear today. That's exciting.

Speaker 5 (01:14:06):
Well, I think I'm drawing a lot. I'm reading a
lot into the email that went out last night, okay, which.

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
Was like, you know, I didn't read it.

Speaker 5 (01:14:15):
It was I mean, it was like the one from
two nights ago was two sentences line. It's like negotiations update.
We negotiated today and we will be negotiating tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (01:14:23):
That's good.

Speaker 5 (01:14:24):
I mean it's great. Yeah, that's great news. Last night
it was at like eleven PM, and I just feel
like the later they go into the evening the better.
And then also it was like we negotiated today and
we will continue to negotiate tomorrow. But we encourage everyone
to go out to the picket lines. Tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:14:43):
Oh shit.

Speaker 5 (01:14:44):
And so I read a little bit of that into like,
get out there because at some point there's going to
be an announcement. We all we want a lot of
people out on the streets, right, That's what I took from. Okay, so,
but I mean, honestly, we've all had the rug pulled
out from under us before, and I don't I'm also

(01:15:04):
prepping myself to.

Speaker 3 (01:15:05):
Not you know, yeah, they're they're negotiating with true sociopaths,
if not straight up psychopaths. Yes, which the might be
the same thing.

Speaker 1 (01:15:12):
I'm not sure, but yeah, it's it's a blurry lit
it's but it's But at the same time, somebody was
talking about that they heard they're not going to let
it go into the holidays because that that the studios
are already such villains in this whole situation.

Speaker 3 (01:15:27):
And then to have it be like, oh, they really
are trying to starve people out through Christmas is the
worst look of all time.

Speaker 5 (01:15:33):
Yeah, and they I am so very happy that in
every moment where they have tried to pull these they've
tried to pull old school tactics, everybody has just immediately
gone right past them. Yeah, just right past them. Yes,
And honestly, it seems like even the American population.

Speaker 3 (01:15:52):
Entirely, like especially compared to it because I was a
writer in two thousand and eight, nobody gave a single shit, Like, yeah,
it was an elite problem for elite people that it's like,
solve it so that everybody else's job isn't impacted And
it was not the same. And watching how well it's
because of social media, but watching how much support watching

(01:16:13):
young people give a shit about labor politics is beautiful.

Speaker 2 (01:16:18):
It's so great it is.

Speaker 5 (01:16:19):
And I one thing that I keep telling to people
or that like who ask me about it, who maybe
aren't in the business, is like, there is no They
might be able to put up a counter argument to
what the union is asking for, but what they don't
have is an argument for their side of why it

(01:16:41):
would be better for anyone except themselves. Yeah, especially when
we look back and we see like being a Try
being a musician that isn't Taylor Swift? Yeah, how is
that going on the entry level? Yeah, try being a
fucking journalist, Try being a taxi driver, Try being uh,
I mean, like I tried being a fucking like. I

(01:17:03):
don't know, NFTs all just went like they have come in,
tech companies have come in and truly fucked up every
single good American industry. Yeah, and I'm not saying that
banks are good, but but and they have no argument
for this. It's like, oh, well, if we do it
our way, it's gonna be better for everyone, because they've

(01:17:25):
seen over and over and over again it isn't. And
so I think that even the people who are like
that's an elite problem, they're like, oh, wait, that's my problem.

Speaker 3 (01:17:32):
Too, Yes, and the and that, like, oh, the reason
I believe that this is an elite problem is because
these reporters are like that, you know, when they now
that they're interviewed because all the auto workers are on strike,
that Sean Finn, I think his name is, that's the
president of the autoworkers union. And he keeps going, it's
so weird that that you keep asking me how bad

(01:17:55):
it is for the economy that we are on strike.
Why don't you think it's bad for the economy the
billionaires keep taking everything for themselves. He's like, that's what's
bad for the economy. Their system doesn't work, and it's
like this is amazing, Like it's such good messaging. It's clear.
It's like we're all in this together. It's yeah, and the.

Speaker 4 (01:18:13):
Thought of stream version, it's easily applied to what we're
talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:18:17):
Yeah, you like the same problem.

Speaker 3 (01:18:19):
It's the same.

Speaker 5 (01:18:20):
And there is that thing like I was listening to
I don't want to do a free ad for another
podcast if I was listening to the watch and Greenwalt
sort of put it very concisely, like the guy that
the guy from the UAW is like, yeah, like we've
they've offered us a really incredible race, Like they offered
us a twenty percent raise and yeah, that's really that's amazing.

(01:18:43):
But the CEO got a forty percent rates. Yeah, so
what are we actually talking about? Yeah, why is it
that you get to do that? But we don't, like
we're the ones that do everything. Yeah. Wow, So hopefully
while we're driving around and we'll figure it out and
you know what, you know who's really doesn't want it

(01:19:04):
to happen.

Speaker 3 (01:19:04):
Well, you just said this car really hurt my feelings.

Speaker 5 (01:19:07):
Well, I didn't know if I wanted to like go
down that hole right.

Speaker 10 (01:19:12):
Because I'd be very well, this could have been bought
years before it was.

Speaker 5 (01:19:16):
Then there you go if you showed up and like
the sticker was still on the window and you like, okay,
what are we doing?

Speaker 3 (01:19:22):
Oh I'm a full one supremis love it.

Speaker 5 (01:19:27):
You know who's not going to be happy at Big Honk.
Big Honk wants this fucking strike to go on forever.

Speaker 4 (01:19:34):
Yeah, the specific horn, even the clowns.

Speaker 2 (01:19:40):
Everyone's lying and.

Speaker 5 (01:19:41):
I ever know the clown lobbys here like, guys, we
got to keep this going. We've never done better.

Speaker 2 (01:19:50):
But they all have the makeup on. Oh I want
to go to a clown strike.

Speaker 5 (01:19:54):
That'd be so. I have a friend who just recently
like went on a first date with the clown oh
like a she like texted me to be like, hey,
I just got back from this date. I think it
like kind of went okay, but he's like a clown
and I was like, okay, but like what kind And
it turned out to be like you know, circa so
la sure that kind of thing. And I was like, honestly,

(01:20:17):
that fucking slaps.

Speaker 2 (01:20:18):
Like yeah that's the yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:20:19):
Yeah. Clowns. I mean, I don't know what it's like
to be on the road with them, but they are
like you know, they're I'm basing this all off one
clown that I know who's awesome.

Speaker 4 (01:20:32):
Yeah, I'm all my experiences based on in Montreal getting
my pocket picked by a group of clowns, and so
I don't trust them.

Speaker 2 (01:20:40):
I don't. They did buy a strengths with our money.

Speaker 5 (01:20:43):
But how did you know they were classed?

Speaker 4 (01:20:45):
They told us that we were in After our shows,
Chad Daniels and I went to some party that was
mostly a French Canadians and and a lot of clowns
were there and they were I didn't know what it
meant back then. I'm like for kids parties. I didn't understand.

(01:21:06):
And maybe that's why they were offended.

Speaker 5 (01:21:08):
Was that part of their misdirection. Yes, they were like
picking your pocket.

Speaker 4 (01:21:12):
It was actually Chad's wallet, but they they took and
then they're like kept buying U s drinks, but it
was with Chad's money. And then the next day he
got a call, uh from the person that lived in
this place that where the party is being held, and
he's like, if you want your wallet in your ID,
I see you have a flight tomorrow at eight, And
they showed up there and everything was laid out.

Speaker 2 (01:21:34):
Sons the money.

Speaker 5 (01:21:36):
But that's a pretty good bit that's kind of a yeah, And.

Speaker 4 (01:21:43):
There was no there was nothing we could do about it,
but I didn't. They just controlled your partying, that's all.
They cut themselves in and then they were like, this
is how much fulne.

Speaker 3 (01:21:52):
We're going to have?

Speaker 4 (01:21:53):
Right, I would have ordered a double and they got
me a single, and it made sense.

Speaker 5 (01:21:58):
That maybe they were doing you a face.

Speaker 4 (01:22:00):
I've noticed a lot of stand ups are taking like
clown classes, and it's like, currently a thing clowning is.

Speaker 5 (01:22:08):
Back, baby, why do you think that? Not meaning like, like,
why do you think that they are taking those classes?

Speaker 4 (01:22:14):
It is a conversation among comics that I've been hearing,
and they they've even mentioned it on this podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:22:23):
Right, Karen packed me up here said I'm like the weirdest.

Speaker 4 (01:22:25):
A lot of stand ups there are like clown classes,
and so if you're like a dry one liner comic,
maybe you need to work on your clowning.

Speaker 2 (01:22:37):
I know so little about it that.

Speaker 4 (01:22:38):
I'm about to talk myself into a corner where I
trail off and drift off.

Speaker 5 (01:22:45):
All I know is the comics are taking class.

Speaker 3 (01:22:48):
It's true.

Speaker 5 (01:22:49):
I'm going true.

Speaker 4 (01:22:50):
I'm gonna go to sleep and imagine a world where
I makes sense right now, but yeah, there's clowning classes.

Speaker 5 (01:22:57):
Have you ever met a separatist, like a friend Canadian
separatist who like wants to like it's like kind of hot.

Speaker 3 (01:23:05):
Wait, please tell us your specific story.

Speaker 5 (01:23:08):
Yes, well that and now I got Maybe it's just
this one separatist that was hot. It was like I
was like twenty two and I was working at like
a Shakespeare theater and there was like a French Canadian
and it was like kind of like a whisper, like
we you know, God, I wonder if this is I

(01:23:28):
hope this isn't like a Patriot Front thing, oh where
it was like secretly like the separatist movement. It was
just like we want to be French. We don't want
to be Canadian. We want to speak French. We want
to keep that part right of So yeah, Jesus, I
really hope this wasn't like a like a fourteen words
kind of like a Canadian fourteen words deal.

Speaker 4 (01:23:49):
Oh, these the clowns that we met that night, they
did not like us, and they would not speak English
and they were French.

Speaker 5 (01:23:58):
Okay, yeah, like they're very out of their friends. Yes,
which if they could see it through our eyes. Maybe
that would change.

Speaker 4 (01:24:06):
Well, I've had a couple genuine spit takes. I'm able
to stop it because I'm a professional. But I've twice
had coffee in my nasal passage. So good, that's a compliment.

Speaker 5 (01:24:19):
Awesome. Where do you guys live in town?

Speaker 4 (01:24:24):
I live in the valley, okay, and I'm I'm pretty
close to you. I'm right around the corner in Echo Park, okay.

Speaker 5 (01:24:33):
So do you know your way around the neighborhood? Generally?

Speaker 4 (01:24:36):
I am getting there. I spent fifteen years in Venice.
You know around the boat people. We've already talked about that.

Speaker 3 (01:24:43):
He means people who own boats.

Speaker 4 (01:24:45):
Yes, daily make eye contact with captains and I yeah,
I love it over here. I'm happier and I've met
more of my neighbors and there's like a community.

Speaker 2 (01:25:00):
I love it.

Speaker 5 (01:25:02):
Did you did the move have anything to do? Did
that coincide with getting sober? And I don't know if
that is that too personal?

Speaker 4 (01:25:09):
No, you it's a good question. I yes, I do
think that I was in I wasn't performing enough because
I was so far away, Like I would drive to
the improv or shows that I knew were a sure
thing as far as stage time, but I was just
hanging out a lot, didn't have a lot of friends.

(01:25:31):
And then I lived right by Killer Shrimp where they
would give me free boost and I was drinking I
think nightly over there. And then when I moved to
Echo Park, all of a sudden, it's like a hip
area and I was near Little Joy and the out
of boredom, I'm like, well, I'll just go down here
and playpool. And that involved drinking too much, and I

(01:25:56):
started to feel like I was unhealthy, and I just
gradually just stopped.

Speaker 2 (01:26:02):
I didn't hit like a rock bottom.

Speaker 4 (01:26:04):
And oh okay, I did a diet that involved not
drinking and realized I felt better.

Speaker 2 (01:26:10):
And I'm just like I'm done, and I've decided I'm
not going to ever do it again. That's great, but
I'm not mad at it, and.

Speaker 4 (01:26:18):
I know it a good times, but I'm better at Also,
during shows, I remember all my jokes. I'm seeing all
these other benefits where it's like, you know.

Speaker 5 (01:26:28):
I'm not a stand up, but it seems like remembering
your jokes during a show is like like up there
on the list of priorities.

Speaker 4 (01:26:38):
Yes, And I feel like I was getting worse and
worse at it and needing more little notes and cheat
sheets and especially for doing like an hour long show,
and like, I don't I right now in this moment,
I can't think of one of my jokes that was
starting to happen.

Speaker 2 (01:26:53):
And it also I.

Speaker 4 (01:26:55):
Wasn't connecting it with the fact that I had seven drinks.

Speaker 2 (01:27:00):
That's so now.

Speaker 4 (01:27:01):
Yeah, I think in general, my brain is just working
better and no depression, no anger, all those things that
were a byproduct of this drug going into my brain
is it's just like, oh yeah, I'm also happy or weird.

Speaker 5 (01:27:16):
You guys are, We're like almost back in my house.
Do you can I give you one of these hydration things?
Do you want to try one?

Speaker 2 (01:27:22):
You're very sweet? Yes, I actually will.

Speaker 5 (01:27:26):
Yeah, the strawberry or golden cherry.

Speaker 2 (01:27:31):
Golden cherry.

Speaker 3 (01:27:32):
Oh, I thought it was mixed, the mix of the two.
I was like, that's crazy.

Speaker 5 (01:27:35):
It's like a half and half ack. There were fifteen
golden cherries and fifteen strawberries. I think golden cherry that's perfect.
Like one sure strawberry and we don't work. Yeah. My
suggestion is you got to put ice in there. I
do like a NuGen bottle with ice and then I

(01:27:57):
also put in like a little bit of extra salt.
Oh yeah, because like the salt helps you from cramping.
And it's like, you know, it's like the hydration. There's
no science behind this. There's truly no fucking science at all.
I might as well be like saying, here are some
good crystals. Like maybe just for flavor, I put in

(01:28:18):
like a little bit of extra salt. Sometimes it's like
too sweet or too like fake sweet. Oh yeah, So
just in case, I would say, thrown a little extra salt,
shake it up with the ice. If you don't like
the flavor, the coldness kind of like takes away from
the flavor. You know, it'll just taste of cold.

Speaker 2 (01:28:33):
And I should save this for post exertion.

Speaker 5 (01:28:37):
I think you want to do one of the one
of the big things about hydration is you want to
make sure you're hydrating up to the event and also during. Okay,
so you want to drink a lot of water beforehand.
But also I usually like throw that in in the middle.

Speaker 2 (01:28:50):
I've been also taking protein powder right before I go
to bed. Is that right or wrong?

Speaker 3 (01:28:56):
The doctor?

Speaker 5 (01:28:57):
I think, no, excuse me, I'm so I went to
the theater school for doctors. I believe that you were
supposed to take protein powder more towards like a post exercise.

Speaker 2 (01:29:15):
I think you are right.

Speaker 5 (01:29:17):
I don't know that, like I don't know that your
body processes it well overnight, but again, right, I will
reluctantly agree.

Speaker 2 (01:29:25):
I think that I am.

Speaker 4 (01:29:26):
I think you are right, and I still I take
it beforehand just as motivation to not get into my
exercise clothes and then just sit on my couch once
I take my little pill that's supposed to make me strong,
and like, well now I have to go. Yeah, yeah,
that's that's what I'm doing. You just eating the raw
ass powder. Oh they're little pills, are they really?

Speaker 9 (01:29:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:29:48):
Like a muscle guy like testosterone.

Speaker 5 (01:29:52):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:29:53):
I just I bought them because I thought they would
motivate me.

Speaker 5 (01:29:56):
I love it. Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, this
was so fun.

Speaker 3 (01:30:01):
Thank you so much for being a guest on the show.
For real. I was so excited when I saw your
name because I listened to your episode that you did
with Bridger and I said no gifts and it was
so funny and I was like, that's cool that he
did that. And then I saw you on ours and
I was like, oh my god, this is the greatest.

Speaker 5 (01:30:18):
I mean this like it came up and I was like,
I think one of the things having been on like
some podcasts in the past where it ends up as
being like, hey, so now that you're here in my
back office, right, just tell me everything. And I didn't
like this seems like it's like such a good bit,
like let's go run an errand let's drive around for

(01:30:38):
a minute. That just seems like such a fun thing
to do. So it's true.

Speaker 3 (01:30:41):
First, it's a true hang.

Speaker 5 (01:30:42):
Yeah, it's a true hang. I really appreciate it. Yeah,
thank you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:30:45):
And I and I'm sorry I didn't say hi at
the golf thing we were at.

Speaker 5 (01:30:49):
I'll lose my number.

Speaker 2 (01:30:51):
It's next time. No, I've already got it. It's in
my phone. I'll see it. Roosevelt all right, I'll see
you guys later. Thanks, thank you, thank you so much.
You he was great.

Speaker 3 (01:31:06):
He's so great.

Speaker 4 (01:31:07):
I just want to say, And I like that sweater.
I should have told him, I'm gonna go tell him that.

Speaker 3 (01:31:12):
Was such a youth sweater.

Speaker 2 (01:31:13):
It was.

Speaker 3 (01:31:14):
And he had a big old mustache, did he You didn't.

Speaker 2 (01:31:18):
See why isn't he my friend?

Speaker 4 (01:31:20):
We could golf together and talk about our mustache and
then our sweaters.

Speaker 2 (01:31:24):
You've been listening to Do You Need a Ride?

Speaker 5 (01:31:27):
D y n A R.

Speaker 2 (01:31:31):
Horn that's big.

Speaker 3 (01:31:33):
Horn, That's big Orn.

Speaker 4 (01:31:42):
This has been an Exactly Right production produced by Analise Nelson.

Speaker 2 (01:31:46):
Mixed by Edson Choy.

Speaker 3 (01:31:48):
Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.

Speaker 2 (01:31:50):
Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.

Speaker 3 (01:31:53):
Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter,
and Facebook at dinar podcast. That's d y n a
our podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:32:01):
For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Speaker 3 (01:32:05):
Thank you, Oh, You're welcome

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Chris Fairbanks

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