S4 - Ep. 69 - Sabrina Jalees - Do You Need A Ride? with Chris Fairbanks and Karen Kilgariff

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Either way, we want to be there.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Time and a termino and gay. We want to send
you off in style.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
We wanna welcome you back home.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Tell us all about it.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
We scared her? Was it fine? Malborn?

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Do you need to ride?

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Do your need do you ride?

Speaker 3 (01:01):
Ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you need
to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
And this is Karen Kilgariff.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
This is a new experience. The sun is in the
center of the sky above us. Yep, there is moderate
amounts of traffic. We are midday recording and it feels.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Great and it feels so fine.

Speaker 3 (01:35):
Yeah, it feels like this is an actual job. This
is during business hours, not some after school hobby.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
And these maple trees are turning yellow and red and gold,
which is my favorite.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Oh, this is the street that has fall on.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
This is this one autumnal street in all of Los
Angeles County, so.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Many streets, most being autumnal, but this is the only
one that has true autonomy.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
If you hear a street boasting about all its acorns
and all its cornucopia, you better call that. You better
confront that street because this is the only one vine lend.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
There has to.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
Be a situation. And maybe you know the history of
the cornucopia, which, as we know, is a coiled cone,
woven cone bursting with gorge and baby pumpkins. It's a
centerpiece as we know now. But in the wild there

(02:38):
used to be and you can take over from here
care great.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
It used to be a hat that pilgrims wove for
themselves when they were out of felt. When the felt
dried up, they would go weave themselves.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
A birch stick hat.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Get if they could wear it all autumn with out
getting big slippers in their forehead that got infected, they
would win a bunch of gorge.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Right, and then wear the hat ceremoniously when greeting visitors
while holding scissors behind their back, because oh, Pilgrims wear
sneaky bunch.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Are you thinking of the Pilgrim Thanksgiving horror movie where
the pilgrim goes around killing people?

Speaker 3 (03:26):
I don't know what is there one?

Speaker 1 (03:27):
I think there is?

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Where are we right? Now writing it. That's our first meeting.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
Look at Blossom's sister over there. I can't stand it.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Oh yeah, see that's what Blossom used to be shaped like. Yes,
skinny and I noticed today Ben hitting the gym.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
She is like bulky in the front like I think
you said it, like she looks like an Australian shepherd
or a what did you say?

Speaker 1 (03:51):
Some sort of like a like.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
A if shaved and died gray a blue healer, yes
orso right.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
Instead of just skinny long kind of funny bug lady.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
I had a different opinion of blue heelers when I
was young because they bark loud, and you know, I
have a lot of shell shock from non Oh yeah right,
and I used to be so timid. Also, they will
go to their instincts when in a group of nipping

(04:26):
at your ankles to hurt you. It is amazing. My
buddy Ross had a bachelor party which was just us
in a field with tense shooting BB guns at beer
cans and it was very fun. But when we were
walking around as a group, the dog would just surround
us and nip at our shoes, not enough to hurt,

(04:51):
but a couple times it would like Nick, I mean,
that's my achilles. That's a protected area.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
It makes me though, want to say, hey, did you
think about the fact that if you guys were out
camping in the middle of a field, that dog might
have known that there was like a mountain lion fifty
feet away.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
I only appreciate it now that dog was concerned for us,
wanted us to stay in a group.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
Play together on task. Yeah, and it's a born.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Behavior. That's amazing to me.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
Yes, it's the they're so cool.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
We went They used to have like the sheep dog
trials in Santa Ruz or like glenn Allen, which is
kind of north of Petaluma, and we went there one
time and it's just you. The people would bring their
champion sheep dogs.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
It's kind of like a dog show.

Speaker 2 (05:37):
Then uh no, it's them out in the field literally
rounding up sheep, sheep, sheep over and over again.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
Oh wow, oh competitively.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
Sheep sheep sheep, And then you get to watch them
do it, and then there's judges somewhere who can tell
the difference between one doing it and a different one
doing it.

Speaker 3 (05:54):
Seems like while watching something like that with multiple sheep,
you would get drowsy.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
With sheep sheep sheep. Oh yeah, because you're kind of counting.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yeah, thank you forgetting that new one.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
Really laying out the joke is really good. I wonder
if those dogs ever get drowsy.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
Yeah, I wonder if sheep dogs or fall asleep at
work with all that counting.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
There it is, there it is.

Speaker 3 (06:19):
And then lower my eye, my eyeglasses.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
Your spectacles, the front row. Yeah, and then you say,
buy my book.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
The amount of writing I've done on this show, it's
been great.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
It's kind of what it's for.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
We talk it out and yeah, Blossom seems like she
could work out in the field.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
I think she could. She's very good.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
She comes when I whistle, which makes me very proud
of her. Although I just bragged about her doing that
yesterday and then this morning she didn't do it, where
I was like, this is not what we agreed upon.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
Yeah, the Hugs are bad with contracts.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
They don't they don't respect it. Really bad with NDAs.

Speaker 3 (07:00):
Do you not remember inking your paw on the dotted line?

Speaker 1 (07:05):
You sold your soul, lady, Now play the fiddle, do
it with your big upper body.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
I like that she kind of looks like it's the
shape of what would it be like, kind of like
it's liony.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
It's a little lion.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
Oh, big upfront, little in the back. Yeah, I was
thinking nineteen twenties bicycle.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
Oh that's big in front, little in the back. Yeah,
I get it.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
Yeah, little in the middle. But she's got much back.

Speaker 1 (07:33):
How dare you?

Speaker 3 (07:34):
I'm sorry, I cannot lie though I like it. I've
been really, really, more than ever in conjunction with me
realizing how many lost, hungry, wayward coyotes have been marching
up and down my street, I at the same time

(07:57):
really want a cat, and I I'm realizing I almost
consider it abusive to force a cat to be inside
all the time.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
No, if they don't know the difference, they're fine, I suppose,
I guess.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
Yeah. And I have had outdoor cats, neighborhood cats that
became my cat. Yeah, that were, like, you know what,
I'm staying indoors from now on. I've had enough of outdoors.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
I also think it's different for whatever area. Like. Growing
up in the country, all of our cats were outdoor cats.
I witnessed some terrible things done to our cats by
wild animals.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, it's kind of part of it. It's really horrible.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
But if you're in the city and it's like straight
up coyotes on your street, then you can't let your
cats out.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
I know. I used to just resk bect to cat's
claws and ability to just climb a tree like I've seen.
I've only had experience with cats that are so agile.
I dare a dog to try and catch any of
the cats that have been in my life.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
But and then all the coyotes in LA just turned
their head real fast and they're like, uh yeah, They're like,
oh you darrows.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Okay that this coyote the other night was literally stalking
me and I would stop and try and look intimidating,
and he'd just keep walking towards me.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
They have no they're not afraid shame, they have no fear.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
They don't they have no shame, and don't they know
their sinners, zero manners.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
And they know that under the eyes of God, they
are they are Their marriages aren't recognized. There are sinners,
true and true.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Their marriages are not you the ones that came up
onto my porch which that stopped put patio, I mean,
oh yeah, that was fucking crazy because they did the
same thing where they were kind of it felt like
they had a look on their face like, hey be cool,
it's us, and it's like you're here to eat my pets.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
Yeah. Well, not having a fence in your back yard
is like inviting a vampire in or well, let's not
get dramatic.

Speaker 1 (10:07):
Well you need to make offensive garlic totside the packer,
build that fenceive.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
Garlic that I've got a chance that at a rally,
I yeah, I feel like though on the way to
your house today, I saw a guy with one of
those because they have cat backpacks with like just a
little domed like astronaut window, and that's not enough. I've

(10:35):
seen cats like kind of panicked with their face pressed
against that. But and it's cute and a conversation piece whatever.
And I'm not afraid to look like whatever. I'm not
going to be a guy with a parrot on his
shoulder or juggling with a snake and a renaissance fair.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
Of course not.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
But I will go around with a cat in a backpack.
And this guy had one that was the entire backpack
was domed glass, and the cat was just chilling in
there with a blanket looking around, could actually lay down
and the look not have to stand and put their face.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
On the on the bubble on the patch door.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
You when you say it was glass, do you actually
mean it was glass?

Speaker 3 (11:17):
I think just a high density domed plast that got you.
And honestly, that's why I'm bringing this all up. That
backpack kind of made me think maybe I could pull
this off, like if I was diligent about taking my
cat on exerciseless walks.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
I mean, can you wear a backpack? That's the question
you always have to ask yourself. And can you wear
a front pack? Can you wear a pack that makes
it look like you have a baby but it is
not a baby? When this culture and the patriarchy that's
embedded in this culture already makes men feel like they're
not so to be uh, you know, soft and maternal

(12:04):
like that you're not allowed to be. Are you ready
to be that?

Speaker 3 (12:08):
Talking about my plight?

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Finally, I mean we have to put it on the
table now that Trump's America is coming back in full force.
We have to centerment again. But you're not only going
to be exposing and vulnerable to that part of you
in Trump's America, but Also, it's a cat, so people
are going to think you're super fucking weird.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
Yeah, it's it's weird. I've always been. I mean i've
I've snapped at you when I see you leaning, dog
leaning more dog laning, and I'm sorry for that. I've
been in defense of cats for so many years, and
now I'm questioning things because now this love of dogs
has kind of overshadowed the cats. My cat foundation, my

(12:58):
cat foundation, it's being shaded by this. This this umbrella
of dog love and the rays of sun blocking are
the opinions of other men, always, always, Who is this character?

Speaker 1 (13:16):
It's pretty great. It's like the Mark Twain of dismantling patriarchy. Yeah, yeah,
that's your new one man show.

Speaker 3 (13:23):
That is my new Val Kilmer touring stage play. I
think I took for granted. Although I don't miss the
west side and the yards I had. It's weird to
I don't.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
When you say yards, is that a started or just
the front and back?

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Like the houses I lived in when I am the
real long Beers.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
Sorry, there's three choices.

Speaker 3 (13:57):
Sorry, what's all that again?

Speaker 4 (13:59):
Front?

Speaker 2 (14:00):
Right, front, back side distance sideyard, yep, distance, It's.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
Funny I've gone from living in houses with full on
back and sideyards and open front yards with cars. But
I realized my cat, sid was afraid of cars immediately,
and I'm like, Okay, that's all I have to worry about.
And occasionally I'd see the cat in the yard hanging

(14:27):
out with friendly possums, which I thought possums were like
raccoons and they had human hands and they would attack them.
But no shared food with possums. Turns out, possums if
you squint and make your vision blurry, are cute. Yes,
if you really focus on them and they're wearing glasses,

(14:48):
they're giant rats, or the tails are.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
They're kind of like half rat half people, which is disturbing.
And their eyes are super buggy, right, yes, but they
mean well, and so then you get sad and you
feel like a bad perry. Right.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
Their eyes are tiny blackberries protruding out.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
Protruding like that weird rubber squishy doll from the eighties
where you would squeeze it for stress.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
And then the eyes would pop out. Yes, that's corossoms
all the time.

Speaker 3 (15:14):
And then they came along with the one that's the
pig pooping, which that only caused stress. Yeah, But and
now I live in a you know, I'm more in
the city environment, and that means coyotes. No one told
me that I wasn't listening to the early Red Hot
Chili Peppers songs about refuse. They aren't the on the

(15:37):
West Side, is what I'm saying, And that's I would
have a cat if I still lived over there, is
what I'm realizing. And that I've lived in better houses.
I've progressively gotten into smaller, less impressive yards, which is fine.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
It is fine because.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
I'm I'm living alone. It's my bachelor pad.

Speaker 2 (15:56):
Also, that is the way of America right now, where
the night, the fat of the land we all lived
off of in the nineties is gone.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, it's gone.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah, And everyone lives in a small apartment or has
a roommate or is getting by in some sort of
way because that's how it is.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Maybe maybe it is because of that.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
I mean, when I lived in San Francisco in the
upper Hate, not the lower het, which is more questionable,
the upper hat, which is near the fancy areas. I've
paid three hundred and fifty dollars a month rent in
a Victorian home with.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
My two friends it was fucking Nutso.

Speaker 3 (16:39):
Wow, I've always wanted to live in any home in
San Francisco. That was my I wanted to live there
so bad, just because it is the quintessential skateboarding town. Like,
if you want to become a skateboarder, especially in the nineties,
you moved to San Francis and skate at the Embarcadero. Yeah,

(17:02):
and show your stuff and someone sponsors you. That's kind
of what The Embarcadero, which is very close to the punchline, Yeah,
was like where you would get discovered. It seemed. Now
that was my Montana brain.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
There's also well, there's obviously lots of streets because there's
like in my cousins where my aunt and uncle used
to live, my San Francisco cousins, which is West Portal
and kind of the area around that. There's lots of
streets that have a crazy in the in skateboarding world,
the grade is insane. Yeah, but it's not unheard of

(17:44):
in on city streets or whatever. There's a couple similar
here in LA but not very many. But in La
I mean sorry, but in San Francisco. Yeah, if you
lived in a neighborhood that your neighborhood probably had four
amazing like bombing style Hill Street that you could use.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
I love that. You know that it's called hill bombing. Well,
you surprised me all of the.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yes, you know, it's my interest and I'm just being
a creep auditing in the corner, but.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
You only reveal it in snippets, and each time it
catches me off guard get ready, and I'm I'm not
a big hill bomber. It scares me. But I just
know Hate Street because in Montana all of the boards
I ordered from the back of a magazine, lick a stamp,
write a check of my mother's illegally and order from

(18:40):
skates on Hate That was yeah, yeah, and it it
just that street. If I were to have, you know,
had a little more money and gone to the art institute,
that was always my goal early artist institute in San Francisco.
Live on Hate Street because it's the only street I

(19:01):
know of. And but you know, I don't have any
regrets about not doing that, because well, yeah, I've soon
learned even from visiting the Embarcadero, watching pros, seeing their
ability to just get several inches higher than me, just

(19:22):
born ability like a blue healer I'm like, wait, I
don't have that pro pop m hm, I have. I
try hard and I've learned to SKay through six month
winters level of pop.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
So it's a different thing.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
Yeah, this is a passion and a hobby that I'll
take into my fifties. Little did I know.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
But anyway, let it surprise you. I look at Jack Skellington.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
Oh remember back early a couple of seasons ago, I
thought his name was Jack the Skeleton.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
Oh yeah, God, I was embarrassing those days. Look, all
of us have to learn somehow.

Speaker 3 (20:02):
Yeah, I have learned. And I really slept on night
Ember before Christmas for so many years, and which is
surprising to me. I love stop motion animation. I love
uh yeah, I love skeleton. I love drawing skulls, bones

(20:23):
and bones. As you know from all the back tattoos
I haven't revealed.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
But yeah, it's it's really a great story. And I
like this the one you just told.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
Yes, what I'm telling right now, I haven't even reached
the ending. I just want to interrupt it, this story
by letting you know it's.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
Great, great, perfect and.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
Have known, and then I show the ending is my
Jack Skellington back tattoo.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
This just turn around, hunt your back and reveal.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
Have you ever seen the guy a picture that went
very viral and it was a guy that had the
name Brenda written on his back in like every possible
font in size.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
Wow? No.

Speaker 2 (21:12):
And there's also a mister cool as Ice and he
had like it said, mister cool as ice. And then
he had skeletons and bones and melting ice.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Wow like it.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
I have to Yeah, is this on the bad tattoos
or are the good tattoos?

Speaker 2 (21:29):
I mean, you know it's to taste obviously, right, depending
on if you like Brenda and if you like ice?

Speaker 1 (21:36):
Right? Yeah, yeah, I guess if you can't choose a font.

Speaker 3 (21:40):
It's like someone said, hey, here are some mockups of
that tattoo you wanted me to design and illustrator. Yeah,
it's like, great, I'll take all twelve grade.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
I want them.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
No, no, you're supposed to take one now, No, I
want to cover my whole back and it might as
well be Brenda. I know we've only been dating for three.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
Weeks, but I get a good Yeah, I'm sure it'll
be fine.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
There was always that one of my favorite Norman Rockwell,
which is your favorite painter when you're a little kid
in your lifes photo realism that vaguely touches on sixties Americana.
But there was like a sailor that was getting all
these he had like different girlfriends.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
On his arm and they were getting crossed out.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yeap, And well, I'm just realizing that guy was probably
an abusive.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Asshole, or he just had a lot of STDs.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, we don't know. I don't know. I'm starting to
worry about those ladies that were getting crossed out.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, exactly how crossed out are these ladies?

Speaker 4 (22:41):
Sir?

Speaker 3 (22:42):
It was just that's the thing. It was a single line, so.

Speaker 1 (22:46):
You could still read Yeah that's petty.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah, that's just like people are going to know still
that you were with me and it didn't work out.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
Okay, Well that's that's on you, sir.

Speaker 3 (22:59):
That's what I would sky. I'm on you.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
As Brenda.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
I would have been like, listen, get my name out
out of your mouth and off your skin.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
Get my name out of your goddamn mouth. Slap. I'll
never forget where I was when the slap heard round
the world at the Oscars, I was, Yeah, I was
in line. I was in line at at to see

(23:31):
Built to Spill in Boise, Idaho, and I looked at
my phone and I thought it was a skit or something,
but I could tell it was a real The sound
was off because I was in public. I'm not gonna
have this sound on. And there's these these older ladies,
this couple behind me, and I was like, does this

(23:52):
look real to you? And they were like, holy shit.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:56):
And we had a discussion and then these kids and
I really not to gloat or boast, but I really
pulled people together, do you think so? Yeah? Yeah, I
was showing it to people that have a discussion. We
sat cross legged on the sidewalk. It's a really long line.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
Gross.

Speaker 3 (24:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
And I think I actually saw that happen real time,
which is so unlikely because I almost never watched the
Oscars or any award shows.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
They stressed me out and.

Speaker 2 (24:25):
I saw it and I literally was just like, you
have fucking got to be kidding me, Like what is
going on?

Speaker 3 (24:32):
Because he did a gij and joke.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Yeah, it none of it tracked.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
It was, But there's also a very good chance that
I watched it just after on Twitter or something.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
But I'm yeah, I feel like I.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
Witnessed it because I was like, we've just slipped into
the worst timeline or whatever people say, We're just like
the dumbest timeline where it's like, you've got to be
kidding me.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
This is so goofy.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
And also, why didn't Chris Rock He just stood there
like he wants to him to slap them.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah, that's kind of funny.

Speaker 3 (25:03):
It's weird, and I'm not usually a victim blame me person,
but when I first saw it, it was like, I said,
why did he riff that kind of why? Why? Reference?

Speaker 1 (25:16):
That's your bald lady reference.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
I mean, he might as well have said Janet O'Connor
or something like. I didn't like the joke. And then
that stood out to me more than the slap, because
I guess in my mind, public violence is normal.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
And then over a few days I was like, wait
a minute, he handled it very well and calmly, and
and uh, well why am I friend will Will Will
Smith is? See I can't I kept I got his
name out in my mouth.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Can about him again?

Speaker 3 (25:54):
Yeah? What's his name?

Speaker 4 (25:55):
Will?

Speaker 3 (25:56):
I Will Willy Lily?

Speaker 2 (25:58):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (25:59):
I realized how insane it was.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Later so crazy?

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Well, we everybody needed a process, because I don't think
public slapping has happened in quite some time.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
No, it was very to be for it to be
open handed, like it's a duel. He might as well
have taken off a white glove.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
Yeah, or he did it, but he also was like
yelling a weird thing where it's just like I don't know.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
The whole thing was just so fucking odd.

Speaker 3 (26:24):
Right, And we're used to seeing sketches. I would I
really thought it was like a poorly executed sketch, Yes
that I saw.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah, like a boring sketch two hundred feet. I always
do that. I always stopped before we're there. That's my
guarantee to you listeners.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
Oh, I like this frontage and the wind chimes. I'm
very excited for our guess.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
I am too. I'm a fan, an admirer, but not
get a friend. Same. But the track record of this show,
you know, we will all be friends. It stands for itself.
It stands for itself.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
We've we've made no enemies on this podcast, and that's
something I hope stays.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
Is that true? I mean, I I wonder if I'd
love the enemies.

Speaker 3 (27:19):
Let's let's say their names.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
Or like, if you were on this podcast and you
really left with a bad taste, please write to us
at Chris Fairbanks at gmail dot com.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
Yeah, I guess I will receive those.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
Sure. Oh and I like the next door patio. I
like a open patio with a roof with like uh
fans and everything.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
Yeah, that's nice.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
I just I don't like that. The only way to
describe that, in my experience is a plantation style home.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yeah, can we quit saying that? What about a style? Also?

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Well, how about palazzo style? And then that's more kind
of Italian. I don't know if it's even accurate, but
you can use it.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
Yes, how about Yes, let's act at least like we've
traveled the globe. Yes, palazzo. It's more of a palazzo style,
and people are like palazzo. Oh, I'm sorry, you're domesticated.
I meant plantation for you.

Speaker 2 (28:20):
Oh, but I'm above you're intrinsically racist and insist upon
using that terminology.

Speaker 5 (28:26):
Okay, Yeah, it is a bad, bad, casually said thing,
much like when on the news you hear a reporter
describe the assailant was wearing a wife beatter t shirt.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
Yes, I'm like whoa, that's still what we're calling an
underwear tank top. I know underwear tank top doesn't roll
off the tongue and people will go what huh.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
But also don't you don't have to describe the outfits.

Speaker 3 (28:52):
We did it again. We were in the wrong house,
do you do? You know? Today's asked clubs and colleges
across the country put your ears together for Sabrina. Julie,
thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 4 (29:10):
Everybody, it's incredible to be in this car.

Speaker 3 (29:14):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (29:15):
I've been excited all morning.

Speaker 1 (29:17):
Yay, good us too.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
Yes, we're just talking about how excited we are, how much.

Speaker 2 (29:24):
We admire you, how sorry, how sorry we were that
we couldn't get it together on election dates we record.

Speaker 4 (29:32):
You couldn't get it together because I'm that god damn
day that we have had before. We've done it before
in twenty sixteen, and it's like, it doesn't nothing changes.
You still have to just sit shiva. You gotta just
lay down. Yes, let it all wash over you. And
now look at us. Now I see people that look
like Donald Trump driving. I'm like, this is hilarious. Now

(29:55):
I've got now, I've got the dissonance.

Speaker 3 (29:58):
Yeah, how soon after that decision was made by I
guess us, were you talking about returning to Canada?

Speaker 4 (30:08):
Oh? Immediately, immediately, And my parents get so horny. I'm
from Canada. Yeah, I'm from Toronto. And my mom has
been like the sky is falling for years, basically since
the first time Trump was elected. She's been like, well,
let's get all your paperwork together and let's make sure
that everything's ready, like like to be in in the

(30:30):
full Handmaid's Tale. Yeah, which I know. I'm probably the
first to draw that.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
Comparison brand news.

Speaker 4 (30:37):
Let everybody let that sink in.

Speaker 6 (30:39):
It feels a lot like that, guys, And but it
is the the fucked up thing is that it like
it does take really bad shit happening for me to
do the paperwork and the like.

Speaker 4 (30:53):
Then it's like it really is like the cauldron is
boiling on your butt and you I went to the
court house the very next day after he was elected.
I went to the courthouse. I need to change my
elder son's last name. There's a bunch of paperwork I
need to do before they can become citizens. Step one.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (31:12):
I when we had our first kid. We have a
six year old and we have an eight month old
first kid. This is a podcast where someone just talks
and talks and talks and just you're like, I haven't
asked you a question before. Here's what I got to
do with the courthouse.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yah, yeah, we love it.

Speaker 4 (31:29):
Okay. Well, so when my first son was born, I
was like, well this is biologically Like I met a
surfer in Mexico. I said, I volunteer you as tribute.
I put the sperm in Shaanna. I was like, I'm
the executive producer, and so he should have my last
name and as Shawna. I remember being like in pomp

(31:50):
Springs naked with a bunch of gay friends and and
all these like gay men sort of being like why
is it your last name? And I'm like, shut up.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
You shut up.

Speaker 4 (31:59):
We don't need to reinvent the wheel here. It's my
last name because I've got broad shoulders and I organized
this whole thing. Yeah, carry all the heavy luggage when
we go to the airport. You just shut up.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
Always should be shoulder based, yes, always shoulder based.

Speaker 4 (32:12):
So then I started thinking about it. You know, Shauna
gets cut open, this baby comes out, this baby is
our baby, and I'm like, it is kind of fucked up.
But I just was like, it's my last name. Why
is it my last name? And so then we started
thinking about combining our last name. Shawna's last name is
McCann minus julius, so we're like, all right, mcclee and

(32:34):
so for the second baby, we just put that on
the birth certificate. You could put anything on the birth certificate,
by the way. That's like a yes. You could be
like potato, Potato, potato, and they're like, sure, sign right here.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
I love that baby.

Speaker 4 (32:47):
Yes, by the way, my baby looks like a little
John Candy tribute character. So you should be called potato
Potato Potato. No, no, I don't know. Oh yes, but I
need to change Wolfe's last name. So that's what I
need to do, and then they can become Canadian citizens,
and then we can, you know, if we wanted to

(33:09):
run away in protest. But you know what, if this
land mass is on fire, Canada is just a fanny
pack attached to it.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
Also, did you hear this?

Speaker 2 (33:20):
For some reason made me feel a lot better in
my kind of full dissociation after those that's what I did.
I was like, I can't record like a comedy thing today.
But I'll be able to do it in three days,
because that's usually my system of push it all down.

Speaker 4 (33:36):
Yes, a three day push down. Yeah, it's like those
like robotic trash compactors.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
Yes, and exactly.

Speaker 2 (33:42):
And as it starts to swell back up because there's
too many milk cartons in there, the fucking Chief of
Police LAPD came out and made a statement that they
will not be aiding the Trump administration in rounding anybody
up in the Los Angeles area. And I was like,
that is the most powerful thing that the biggest villain

(34:05):
who could be talking came out and was like, guess
what you thought you hated us, We're on We're actually
going to be on your side.

Speaker 4 (34:11):
And now it explains Karen why you're wearing a blue Lives.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
Matter right right?

Speaker 4 (34:15):
Yeah, so I see the back now that is so
cool and ultimately, you know, like I also, we were
in Europe this summer and I was like, we spent
some time in Barcelona and we're like, what a life? Like,
why why are we so tethered to these spots like
I've lived. I grew up in Toronto, I in my

(34:37):
early twenties moved to New York. I left for la.
Whenever you go to any place that you've ever lived,
you get the question of like, but but you miss
it here though, right, And it's like they're all they're
all my girlfriends, yes that I've married, they're my ex wives,
they're my wives, they're my I'm I'm so I hate polyamory,
just I just want to make it clear that wh

(35:00):
I am like the Westboro Baptist Church about polyamory. Like
when it comes to being gay, I'm like, you don't
have to be it to get it, but when it
comes to polyamory, and like, get out of my.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
Giant.

Speaker 4 (35:11):
But when it comes to locations, I'm a polywally ding
dong and I know that's what they like to be called. Wow,
I know I'm in trouble, but that's okay. Trump can
be president. I can just go wild on polywally ding
dong and that's what I have poly friends, So don't
worry anyways, I am Polly for locations. So we're in

(35:34):
Spain and we're like, why do we just live here
for a bit? And then of course Trump gets elected
and we're like Barcelona.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yes, although they're going through all that stuff with like
the people protesting again, No, we.

Speaker 4 (35:48):
Did not experience it. However, we went trick or treating
with one of Wolfe's friends is Pedro, and Pedro's mom
is from Spain, and we're sort of talking about this
option if Trump wins, do we go to Spain? And
she looks at us like we're idiots. So she goes,
you know what's happening with it? And I'm like what
And She's like it's very racist and very homophobic, and

(36:10):
I'm like, well, I guess there's something nice about not
understanding the language. Yes, people could be like look dykes,
and I'll be like, I love it.

Speaker 3 (36:18):
Yeah, it's a little slightly different from Spanish, so I
didn't quite check that up.

Speaker 4 (36:24):
Yes, it sounds like Spanish, but it's got that yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:28):
Also, those people are so gorgeous, Like every person we
went to Barcelona, the food everything I ate was the
best thing I'd ever eaten. And every person I looked
at I was like, why are you the most gorgeous
person I've ever looked at?

Speaker 4 (36:42):
See, this is azing. You're tapping into something. If Trump
supporters were gorgeous and spoke in a way where we
completely didn't understand what they're saying, I'm all in, right,
I'm all in for Texas.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
Make it easy for me, please, But no, instead, it's
this grating accent of weirdness and those big weird like
Mormon girl curls where it's like I don't want to
look at this.

Speaker 4 (37:03):
No, but I did have an uber driver on Friday night.
I did get quite drunk at a crazy de Valet
party sing Lily Sing, YouTube phenom business person. I was
in a movie with her. She throws this party. I
thought it was going to be at her house. I
brought a bottle of wine, thinking I'm going to someone's house.

(37:24):
It was like a wedding.

Speaker 3 (37:25):
Oh, it was.

Speaker 4 (37:26):
Huge, and Shauna and I just went bananas. We had
so much fun.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
Sorry, is that Indian New Year?

Speaker 3 (37:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (37:35):
It's it's an Indian celebration of light, and so that
was nice. It was like the friday after the election.
And she was like, you know, the focus here is
just have fun, don't focus on the problems. And I
was like, I'm focusing on the open bar. And then
she was like pouring shots and mouths and Shauna and
I just got We just enjoyed ourselves. And in the

(37:56):
uber drive home, the guy was like yeah for Trump.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
Oh well, and.

Speaker 4 (38:03):
I mean it's happening, you know, you guys. But in
that state where I was wasted, I really was like.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
Yeah, man, right to do. Yeah, Like the time I
got rear ended and hugged the guy. It's like I'm traumatized.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
But also you don't.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
I think that's so brilliant because you do not want
to give them what they want, which is this fight,
which is this what are you doing like all that focus,
attention and passion instead you're like, sure, dude, sure you.

Speaker 4 (38:36):
Know something that I do think about because my mother
is Swiss and she raised me so she would always
say cuppa and it means like chin up. And what
I'm learning with therapy and marrying a woman that likes
crystals is like sometimes sometimes no chinned down for a
fucking second. Accord that when it's like sometimes chinned down
but also sometimes chin up. Yeah, And in chin up mentality,

(39:01):
I'm like I moved to New York like almost twenty
years ago, and all I had was these commercial auditions
where like the biggest tip I was getting from like
acting coaches and fake managers was like try to look
more like just a regular girl, like oy just fit
your body into this contour that doesn't like My first

(39:25):
audition was so sad. It was like the breakdown was
like legs of a Venus model must wear short short
shorts to show up those long legs, and I famously
have short legs. Like I almost think, like we know,
Rosio Donald used to have that like stool that popped
up for like short legged people. Do you guys remember
no what like she had? You remember?

Speaker 3 (39:45):
Tommy?

Speaker 4 (39:46):
Can you do you remember the show? You don't remember
the Rosio Donald show?

Speaker 3 (39:49):
I do?

Speaker 1 (39:50):
I remember launch and not the detail?

Speaker 4 (39:54):
Well, then I hate that I've done this detour to us.
I love it. But she got to knock out a
little a little stool for people with short legs, and
I wouldn't need that stool. But anyway, I.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Delusionally were they mad? What would if.

Speaker 4 (40:07):
It's me, I'm like, this is comfortable. I'm finally touching
the floor, you know, so a footstool, a footstool would
knock out into the like to like yeah, to give
the little short legged person a little wow?

Speaker 3 (40:21):
What if what if you were a guest that never
considered their legs short until that moment.

Speaker 4 (40:25):
I look as someone with short legs. You fucking know. Yeah,
no one's surprising.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
I know. I say, yeah, yeah, it's us.

Speaker 4 (40:32):
And we know. Honestly, I wouldn't I wouldn't be mad
if there was an Apple box this in the sea, right.

Speaker 3 (40:37):
We got a quarter boxes, we got full box.

Speaker 4 (40:40):
And I'll take the full please.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
Wait, So you go to this audition with the shortest
legs wear.

Speaker 4 (40:46):
I wear my girlfriend's clothes. I put on some esper
drills to extend the legs. I'm like, I'm like wearing
like a tube top. I'm like a different gender than
I've ever expressed, even in my high school days when
I was trying. And I'm like catching my reflection on
on like dirty windows and I'm like, who the fuck
is this? And I like get to Midtown and the

(41:07):
elevator said, and I climb up the stairs with the
fucking espiritrils. I'm like just a sweaty mess. And I
get up there to the casting agent and she goes,
who are you. I'm like, great questions. I'm like, I'm
Sabrina Jalie and she goes, no, y'are not, No, you're not.
And I'm like, what are you talking about? Yeah? I
know I am Sabrina Jalise and I have an audition here.

(41:29):
She's like, no, you don't. I'm like no, look and
I pull up my email and she's like, oh god,
oh god, where did you come from? And I'm like
it's okay, I'll leave Bushwick. I'll just head back to
like no, no, no, you stay here. I want you
here for this, and she calls my agent and she goes, yeah,
there's a problem. I asked for Sabrina Jails, the model
from Brazil, and you sent me Sabrina Jalise, the comic

(41:50):
from Bushwick.

Speaker 3 (41:52):
Oh that's great.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
She made you stay for it.

Speaker 4 (41:54):
She made me stay for it, and I'm just I
think about but that was like, that's how desperately I
wanted an opportunity, Like I knew what was I thinking
that I was gonna like put these clothes on and
immediately be like castable. That's so funny, you know model,
It's like, but tho, that's but it spoke to how
desperate I was to have some sort of shot at

(42:16):
booking anything twenty years ago.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
Were you even twenty years old at that point?

Speaker 4 (42:20):
I was twenty yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
Oh wow.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
But also they used to phrase it the thing that
drove me crazy when I did that very briefly. They
would always phrase it they want you to come and
read for. They want you to come and read for.

Speaker 1 (42:32):
So you didn't.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
It was a your delusion was not by yourself.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
It's like they wanted you, they wanted me.

Speaker 4 (42:39):
Yeah, they wanted to be by name.

Speaker 3 (42:42):
I like that. That casting director was like, sit here,
I'm gonna yell at your agent with you.

Speaker 4 (42:48):
But the cop fo The like chin up of this moment,
I think is that we can't forget that. It's a
completely different landscape now now it's this is this is
like in terms of I mean, the industry right now
is garbage and we're going through it. It's a slump moment,
but it still is a place where my best shot
at selling something, creating something, breaking a story through is

(43:13):
by being me yes. And there is a market for it,
and there is a word. This is a world that
sees the value in real stories, no matter what gay
stray b all that stuff like that exists. Yes, and
that's what I think. The Democrats were campaigning so hard
just on that, and now we've realized, okay, well no,

(43:33):
there's so many people that are upset about the price
of eggs, and that's a validating And there's some people
that are, you know, that healthcare thing. They like a
little bit campaigned too hard into the magic of that
feeling and forgot some of the like brass tacks Middle America.

Speaker 2 (43:49):
Yea, remember when she came out when she was talking
about when I get into office, I'm going to immediately
make it illegal for them to price gouge the way
they've done at grocery stores.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
I only that once, and.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
It's like, you should have said that at the beginning
of every fucking dumb interview you did everywhere.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
You went, because that's what people care about it.

Speaker 4 (44:07):
And I like shudder at even the words she because
we know this is Coca Cola and pepsi. We know,
and I think there's like there is a virtue to
pepsi one and pepsi said, we're all toxic here, and
it's like, I think, well, let's get someone for Coca Cola.
That's like, I love that. That's my brand loyalty that
I'm like my Democrats is Coca Cola and Coca is good.

Speaker 3 (44:29):
I think everyone would agree with that.

Speaker 4 (44:31):
Yeah, And it's like, let's get some also, we don't need.
This doesn't need to be I get it that we
want a female president. It doesn't have to be. Now,
guess what we tried it in very recent history. Yeah,
with a candidate that should have held up and if
she was a man, she would have and it didn't happen.
And as women, we have experienced that so many times
in our life that there's a part of us that

(44:52):
of course our heartbreaks. But then didn't every woman also
kind of know yes, And didn't every man in a
deeper way even kind of know hell yes.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
Well also, I think there's a lot of men who
would like to tell themselves and other women that, of
course they're on that side, of course, but deep down
they're just not believers. No matter what they did at
the polls, they just actually don't in their life believe
that when women are talking to them they should listen
the same as when men are talking to.

Speaker 4 (45:19):
Just repeat that. Because my shoulders got in the way,
I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
My ears were blocked by the width of my shoulder.

Speaker 3 (45:27):
And being the man in the car, I didn't I
just had a high pitched ring in my ear and
drown everything out. I can't even control it.

Speaker 4 (45:34):
I mean, it really It really is like it's like
two different universal planes. Yes, on one, we are like
these ayahuasca souls like that, like see each other and understand,
and it's like why are we so hung up on
these things? And then on the other, it's like there's
a bunch of billionaires paying us to.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Sword fied yeah, and single shooter video games telling twelve
year old boy is it's the girl's fault that you
are ABC or D, which is just like, Okay, we
have to fix that at.

Speaker 4 (46:07):
Some point, yeah, we do, but you want to know
how it got fixed. Yesterday, hell my sweet son Wolfy
asked for some decks, like some DJ decks for Christmas
two years ago. Audition for Talent Show last year, got
in became Talent Show became every transition this year, did
not even have to audition. He is just the DJ

(46:29):
at the talent footage, the DJing like he's d recurrent show,
but he knows how to use the software he is.
I'm like, I woke up this morning and I was
and I was aware that I needed to cover it,
but I'm like, I'm start struck. Yes, oh so cool.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
Did you know anything about that or did he just
learn on that.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Question is, do you think it's the surfers DNA that's
really behind it?

Speaker 4 (46:54):
Dude, the surfers DNA. This is the brilliant thing about
the surfers DNA. The surfer lets the waves come to him. Yeah,
that was like the moment that I knew I was
gonna ask for a sperm. I already knew. And then
he had a tattoo of a wolf in his back,
and we knew that we were gonna name the baby wolves.
The giz is mine, Yeah to the line read of
the jig is up, So so I got up. He's like,

(47:20):
you know, a surf lesson is a lot of just
like staring into each other's eyes, wondering when someone's gonna
ask for jizz. It's just like he's standing there aiming
my board, waiting for the right wave, and then we
get the wave takes off. I kind of like lose
control and swerve into someone else's lesson, and when I'm
getting my surfboard, the coach from that lesson is like,

(47:40):
if you are digging a lesson with me, that would
never happen. Oh, And I was like, I'm just like
a dumb bitch that watches Bravo and I like swim
back to him and I'm like, oh my god, you
would not believe what they just said about you and me?
And can you believe? And his reaction so stoic, so confident,
just he literally was like, oh that's funny. Not again, yeah,

(48:02):
not like that's a long string of yarn on this yeah,
just like, yeah, that's funny.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
You know.

Speaker 4 (48:08):
It's like just like washes right over him. And I'm like,
I can't wait to executive produce your baby.

Speaker 1 (48:15):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
And how soon after the lesson? Did you?

Speaker 2 (48:18):
I took a second lesson two days later, and they
we're like, I have a proposition for you.

Speaker 3 (48:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (48:23):
I was like, now that we're here, yes, Oh. I
just was like I've never asked anyone this before, but
I you know, by this time, Shawna had met him
and had like a gut feeling she's again crystals, you know, and.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
What can you remember his like actual answer.

Speaker 4 (48:39):
He kind of took a beat, like he obviously was
not expecting it. And then he was like what I
said was we think you're super cool and we just
you know, wondering if you were interested in helping us
make a family. And he said, I don't know, how

(49:01):
that works. But that sounds interesting. You guys are a
beautiful couple, and if I can help you, then that
sounds well because you know what's also I never get
into this detail, but what happened after was he met
us that night and I was wearing these boxers and
I was sitting on these stairs leading up to our

(49:22):
hotel and these stairs are like facing the main kind
of shopping drag and we're sitting and he's kind of
sitting a few stairs below me, and we're talking and
I see this guy kind of like iing me on
the like sitting on a bench, and I'm like, gross, whatever,
and I get back in and later on I realized
there is a gash in my boxers. That is literally

(49:47):
I hate that I use the word gash, but it
is simply exposing the nitty gritty of my true pussy.
So in terms of like what he thought was happening,
I'm like, I also him, like days later, I'm like,
did you notice. He's like, yeah, I thought it was
a little weird.

Speaker 7 (50:05):
That's so funny, that's so embarrassing, so embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
That actually happened to me once at the Hollywood YMCA,
I was I went there with my friend. We both
were like on the treadmill for forty five minutes, and
then she was doing one other thing and so I
just sat down with my back against the wall and
was just kind of like waiting for her. Yeah, and
I had I think I was sitting criss cross apple sauce. Yes,
And this old man came up and asked for a

(50:31):
ride home, and I was like, no, what do you know,
what are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (50:35):
And that old man came rolling home. No other option,
this young man.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
But then when I finally got home to take a shower,
I took my leggings off and it was completely split.

Speaker 1 (50:49):
Oh no, from the front to the back.

Speaker 2 (50:51):
So I think maybe he was like, there's a possibility
she could be trying to do some sort of silence.

Speaker 4 (50:58):
For do you want me to be your donor?

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (51:00):
This is so strange. Have I talked about my Mine
was at the y w c A in San Francisco
with a high school youth group.

Speaker 4 (51:09):
And why the W stands for women?

Speaker 1 (51:11):
Right? Yeah? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (51:12):
Are you doing there with your pussy head?

Speaker 3 (51:14):
It was I, I know, business boxer based and Christian Association. Everyone, Yes,
this is Hollywood baby, all that. Everyone was doing chin
ups late at night and I came out in my underwear.
These are all friends of mine, but it was mostly

(51:35):
girls that were doing chin ups. Jill Rasmussen could do
like fifteen chin ups. She was she played for the
Montana Grizzlies.

Speaker 4 (51:45):
Oh, she also was my first wife. And I'm not
talking about it.

Speaker 3 (51:48):
Hey's I loved her. I loved her. I still my memories.
But she could do more chin ups than me. I
still was trying, and I had boxers in. The flat
was open, and my tiny undeveloped penis was sticking out
of the flat.

Speaker 4 (52:04):
Okay, so I'm literally picturing this as present day, like
I'm like picturing this as like a year ago. I mean,
you described your tiny undeveloped I said, Chris, No, that's.

Speaker 3 (52:16):
The thing about the story. It's ever green. But they
didn't say anything. They just were like laughing because these
were people that cared.

Speaker 4 (52:28):
About me, and I just want to it was close
your eyes right now, listener. If you're picturing Chris with
a tiny green penis right now, you are correct.

Speaker 3 (52:38):
If you are correct, out of the shorts with the
tiniest I'm good in the garden green thumb penis.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
But it's deciduous.

Speaker 4 (52:46):
So and that was when they said no more boys
at the.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
That's the capitalized that w please.

Speaker 3 (52:55):
Yeah, it's so traumatizing.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
Yeah, everything, all of life.

Speaker 3 (53:00):
And I don't know why if we were even allowed there.
There was just mats on the floor and we all slept.

Speaker 4 (53:05):
The guys, life is about not just how you handle
it when you're a pussy's covered. Are you going to
handle a gash.

Speaker 2 (53:14):
You recover when you're gashing it up at a public
uh event?

Speaker 1 (53:19):
Space? My god?

Speaker 3 (53:23):
And the terrible thing is it was a factory made
hole in the short. This was meant to happen.

Speaker 4 (53:29):
Yeah, they have the silly little flaps so you could
pee so easily.

Speaker 1 (53:32):
Yeah, it was a prank on me by the Van
Heusen company.

Speaker 4 (53:35):
Welcome to silly little flaps in a little girl's boxer
so I can I would not actually work, I guess.

Speaker 3 (53:41):
Yeah, it's hilarious. The men's underwear. I've always had this
very hard to access opening up front that no one
has ever used.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
Interesting, you pulled the waistline down.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
That's the fastest easy. Yes, you don't do the weird
origami ceremony.

Speaker 4 (53:59):
I didn't know, did you know? This Karen is not used.

Speaker 3 (54:04):
No, that's just why I just started to share it.
You tried to change the subject and I appreciate it.

Speaker 4 (54:10):
No, no, you you were like, I have some I'm.

Speaker 1 (54:13):
More to talk about underwear design.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
No, no, no, yeah, there's a yeah, it doesn't work.

Speaker 4 (54:20):
You should design. You should have merch that is pulled down,
like there's arrows on the waistband and and you it
says pulled down, and then it'll be like you invented
this way. That is that real way?

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Well, you know they do.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
That with like certain kinds of spanks and those if
you worn those like oh, this Harris Walls sign just
sitting there, my friend reminds.

Speaker 3 (54:41):
Me of the big bag of balloons above the stage
at the West Side Comedy Theater day after so Ull.

Speaker 2 (54:49):
The undropped balloons undropped thank you.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
Well, I was just gonna say the spanks.

Speaker 2 (54:55):
There is that version of it in spanks which feels
very inv for like the twenty tens, like I'd never
seen it before, and then recent spanks that I put
on where it's kind of like there's either a split
or a little thing that you can snap back. Oh,
you're talking about the ogami the orgami of women's shit,
which is, in my opinion, a lot harder to get around,

(55:16):
especially when you're.

Speaker 4 (55:17):
Like, all, well, I used to spank it up, that's
what I'm saying. Twenty years ago, I was spanking.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
So yeah, there's a there's an opening on that that's convoluted.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
No, it's actually I guess what I'm trying to say
is they finally innovated it for women where it works
and it's there, but I had not seen it up
until that point that I that I.

Speaker 4 (55:35):
Saw it, then I'm picturing it going both layers through
and having women's pants that you can kind of flap
open the underwear and then flap open the pants too. Oh,
and it's they're called fuck it. They're like fuck it
and it's not even And the weird thing is that

(55:56):
men are not even using it. But it's like you
have to get through that to then pull down your
pants again and then be like, now we're at now
we're at Mecca.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
That's right.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Well, it's funny because I haven't done much global travel,
but I have noticed in Europe there are grown men
that just go all the way I'm in fifth grade
pants to the ankles.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
Oh yeah, just ass out.

Speaker 3 (56:19):
I've stayed topless people on the news.

Speaker 4 (56:25):
You know, how do you feel about peeing in our
backyards front yards?

Speaker 3 (56:30):
I will, of course pee anywhere except a golf course
because I followed the rules.

Speaker 4 (56:36):
Wow, I will pee anywhere.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
Yeah, that's I mean, more impressive.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
I don't think I can really, but it's more like
a shy Catholic. And one time my sister's friend and
I pulled a prank on my sister where we waited
until she she had to pee really bad, so we
had to pull off the freeway and we're on this
weird side street, like off the one on one in
like Saucelito.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
Or something, and she was like, I'm gonna be in
my pants.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
I have it, and so in her mind, we had
pulled off to this like secret dark road and then
I just waited until she got in front of the car,
and then I just turned the lights on, so she
was already like king in front of the car and
we couldn't stop laughing, and she got so fucking mad.
So I do think about that where I'm like I
have some peeing karma waiting wanting.

Speaker 4 (57:24):
To solve it right now, we should pull over somewhere
and get you to pee just right here. That could
be your ayahuasca for the day.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
Oh my god, that just clears out all the stress.

Speaker 4 (57:36):
Cut to Karen's arrested.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
There are so many gross things.

Speaker 3 (57:40):
While vomiting and crying because I haven't done ayahuasca.

Speaker 4 (57:43):
Yet, but I've done like ayahuasca adjacent experiences in Alsa
gooda oh with a couple that love to be a little.

Speaker 3 (57:54):
Strange polleys.

Speaker 4 (57:57):
I mean, it wasn't outside of that. It was a
little bit like I mean, I hope the ayahuasca gods
don't get mad at me for saying this, But there
was you know, every single place where there is power,
there is a man that wants.

Speaker 1 (58:10):
To touch your tits about it, oh no.

Speaker 4 (58:12):
And so there was a little bit of that vibe
without getting into too much detail, there was a little
bit of like a I in the divine masculine, and
I'll be here to heal you, like.

Speaker 3 (58:21):
I don't think, oh no, like a bickram yoga creep.

Speaker 4 (58:25):
Yes, no, but I got but I loved not but
I loved the getting that medicine in me. I really
loved that feeling.

Speaker 3 (58:34):
I've been wanting to do it and looking forward to it,
but I'm worried about what if I will conjure dark guidance.

Speaker 4 (58:43):
I think I think you might, but I think it
might be good. Yeah, go to the go to the
darkness with light.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
Did you when you did it, did you feel like
that thing where you thought it was lasting for days
or years or whatever when and then when you come
out it was like eight hours or something.

Speaker 1 (58:59):
That's something that freaks me about it.

Speaker 4 (59:00):
No, I didn't feel that. It was very much like
you know. The good thing about the setup was like
it was kind of like a mini adventure, you know,
not the version where you go to Peru and you
get a fast and there's like a very legitimate way
of doing ayahuasca. I didn't do that. I did like
a mini dose kind of thing where we get there,
we all talk about our intentions and what we'd like

(59:22):
to get out of it, and then everyone gets dosed
and then you lay down on a mat basically, and
that's where most of the work is, where you're just
laying down and this tree root is kind of taking
you to places in your mind and your life. And
I did find it to be like just super healing.

(59:43):
I like I'm like very like daughter of immigrants mentality
on things and my core self Like when Karen you're
saying like daughter of a Catholic, it's like there's things
in you that you're like, I know this is programmed
in me. Yes, I don't love it. I'd love to
be free of it. But it's also like my reaction
at home base.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Yeah, almost like trying to get free of it sometimes
makes it worse than me where then I'm like, then
there's like we're saying the shame piece of it where
it's like why am I this way? And I didn't
do this, and it's like I'm not doing the actual work.
I'm just complaining that I have to do the work. Yes,
the cycles that are infuriating, And.

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
What's nice about this experience is there is just this
feeling that is like it's okay, everything is okay, it's
all okay, Like when I so one big thing that
I felt from it. And Shauna has said this that
after I did these experiences that I had more presence

(01:00:39):
with her and I showed up in a more you
know I really I've said it many times now in
this podcast where I go my wife, she's crystals and
there's a way, especially as comics, where we're like we
cartoonify things and we make these characters out of people.
But the truth is my wife is magic, and that's
part of the reason why we have the every and

(01:01:00):
why we have this family is like, who would go
for this idea of like I took a surf lesson
with this guy who has a tattoo of the name.
It's like you kind of have to buy into magic
to make magic happen. Yeah, And I kind of saw
all of that part of her ethos as like a
huge feature and like thing that I should be appreciative
of in my life rather than this thing of like

(01:01:22):
how much money are we spending on rocks?

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
Or how can I make fun of this and lessen
it so it doesn't scare me?

Speaker 4 (01:01:29):
So yes, and it also doesn't have to mean I
think that this was the fear truly that I had,
was like, well, I'm gonna lose my edge. Yeah, I'm
not gonna be funny. Then if I'm not complaining, you know,
it's like, but no, I still make fun of her.
There's still it's there's a place where she goes where
it is like now she's in a corner where I
don't see it or whatever, that we're still we still

(01:01:49):
are who we are, but that I in a real way,
like in my home based self, I feel very appreciative
of what she brings to my life, and I am
more I'm more into like leaning into that and knowing
that that doesn't I don't lose anything. I just gain
from seeing that as like this kind of incredible part

(01:02:11):
of my life now that I have her and she
sees and she wants to talk to the moon, and
it's like we don't, you know, we don't go to church,
and it's like this is actually a really great place
to frame a lot of these like the positive virtues
of religion, which are like these reminders of the way
to be and be connected to the universe. It's like,
I love I love that. I'd much rather talk about

(01:02:32):
the seasons and talk about you know, the planet than
you know, putting some man that's gonna molest my kids
on a pedestal. Right, well you go hugging, but he
knows everything.

Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
That was beautiful beautiful, Yeah, said a lot of beautiful
things all in a row.

Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
I know.

Speaker 2 (01:02:57):
But also that like I feel like I just got
a little uh I was.

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
Gonna say, ashwagonda, what's the word I got in ayahuasca
like a secondhand Iowa, Oh, I just ship myself. Oh
did you Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:03:11):
Did you do it with your wife?

Speaker 4 (01:03:13):
I didn't do it with my wife. My wife went
separately and had a harder time there and with and
I think that that's where the like the experience of
the male, the masculine, all of that stuff kind of
played it in a way where it was like, Okay,
this isn't actually cold was gray.

Speaker 3 (01:03:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:03:32):
And then one other thing, though, while you're shitting I
don't want to make the ship twas was like I
feel is that when I so my mom'ss my dad
is Pakistani, and when and I grew up with this
huge Muslim family and when I came out it was
after Shauna and I'd been married gotten married and I

(01:03:54):
was twenty seven, and they the way they reacted was horrible.
Oh no, it was like a big Bollywood movie. And
I was the lesson of like, you know, none of
these other cousins better think they can do this shit.

Speaker 3 (01:04:07):
And everyone's all over the place in North America.

Speaker 4 (01:04:11):
But my dad is the eldest of eight kids, and
it was heartbreaking for them. It was heartbreaking for us
in this huge way that it was sweet how we
pulled together. And my dad was like, well, if you're
not talking to her, then you're not talking to me.
And it was just hugely dramatic. But in this experience
of the Ayahuasca, I really saw that moment in my

(01:04:32):
life for what it was, which was that was always
going to happen. There was no world in which I
was going to come out and say I'm gay. And
these people that have had arranged marriages eat all food
that while you know, the every single aspect of their
life is towing this line to get into what their
version of heaven is. They're playing a whole other board game.

(01:04:54):
I basically flipped it over and said, well, that's my identity.
I flip over your bit board game and that I
just had so much love for them, and I was like,
this is you know, that was hard. It was hard
for them too, that that was hard for them, and
it's hard and we continue, you know, like on the
other side of that now that was thirteen years ago.
It's like I have relationships with some of them, I

(01:05:18):
have close relationships with others. I have less of a
relationship with others, and it's like that was always it
all shook out to exactly what it would have been gayst.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
How about your immediate your parents.

Speaker 4 (01:05:28):
My parents are great. Yeah, they had the normal, regular
sort of like surely this is a phase, you know,
just like what you would experience. I was born in
nineteen eighty five, so it's like it's all part of
the timeline. Even though they were the original lesbians, Like
when they got married, you better believe both of their
families were like, it's disgusting, we don't want to see Yeah,
this brown man, this white.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
Lady, and Canada does that play. Because my experience, although
I was coming from being a comic in Texas, yeah,
I was surprised. Even Calgary with the texts of Canada,
was very diverse, and I saw a lot of like
like Muslim clothed people, like wearing jeehads and everything. I

(01:06:12):
was like, literally nine eleven, you know what I know?

Speaker 4 (01:06:19):
Hit job?

Speaker 3 (01:06:20):
No. I could sense the wavering in my voice.

Speaker 4 (01:06:24):
You got to keep it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
What's the it's a h job.

Speaker 4 (01:06:31):
These bomb vests gorgeous, Yeah, killing Asians.

Speaker 3 (01:06:36):
I saw so many people cartoonishly wearing a vest of
dynamite that I'm like, we're.

Speaker 4 (01:06:41):
Diversey this this America.

Speaker 3 (01:06:46):
Don't you feel like Canada has?

Speaker 4 (01:06:49):
Of course, but does It's like all on these timelines,
and like the timeline of when they fell in love
in the seventies, it was not sure they were all
living there. I think it was exactly the kind of
gay club where two gays would meet in the metaphor. Yeah,
but it doesn't mean that people were going around holding
hands and kissing in that way. And they and my

(01:07:10):
dad's family, my dad eldest of eight again, it's like
everything is family and everything is an example, and you know,
you go ahead and marry this white woman and then
we're going to lose control of these other seven kids.

Speaker 1 (01:07:23):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:25):
Hy job also also the idea of that incredible long
timeline where the lesson of it's never the last chapter.
When something big and horrifying happens in your personal life,
it's like, oh, I'm never talking to that person again,
or they're never going to talk to me again, or
whatever's happening in the moment, and then it keeps on

(01:07:47):
playing out because it just is never like that. It's
like whether whether or not you stop talking them for
the moment and then you they come back seven years
later and cry and say I'm so sorry I did
that you or some other version of it. Yeah, Like
it's always there's always something else exactly to drop.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
Did your parents so hard to go.

Speaker 4 (01:08:08):
When you're like panicking over the thing?

Speaker 2 (01:08:10):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:08:11):
Were your parents dealing with Were they fighting about it
and between the two of them?

Speaker 4 (01:08:17):
Yeah, No, I think it was one of those things
where it's like you get attacked and you come closer. Oh,
like they were like and I think there's a lot
of ways in which my mom and really like bent
outside of her center and leaned forward to welcome. They
basically helped all of them immigrate to North America. So
I grew up living with a lot of these family members.

(01:08:38):
Oh so she did a lot. And so when that happened,
it was also I think a positive release for her
where she could say, you know, that's that was a
correction that needed to happen. I actually don't need to
fly to every single wedding. I actually don't need to
be what like for truly for what and I And
it doesn't have to be this angry thing like I'm

(01:08:59):
not not showing up to things because I'm angry. This
is the way my life works, and I I'm from
a generation and a play I'm in a place in
my life. The way my life works is that chosen
family is is a huge part of my family. And
that's like that was a correction that gay or straight
straight was always going to happen, But the impetus was

(01:09:20):
this sort of fallout from coming out.

Speaker 3 (01:09:22):
Yeah, you have to, it's natural to whittle down and
have a core group.

Speaker 4 (01:09:27):
Well, now you guys are part of my core group,
are we? I hope so I do too.

Speaker 3 (01:09:32):
Even after my comment, I think it.

Speaker 4 (01:09:34):
Was so humanizing to have shared about the fact that
your penis is green, tiny, and that you have all
this time thought had jobs were jahabs and I just
you can't get more vulnerable what happened.

Speaker 3 (01:09:48):
It just came out weird.

Speaker 4 (01:09:49):
But can I also say we don't now that we're
talking about I ahoska. Everybody doesn't have to know what
every fucking word is, right, and it doesn't make you
bad for not It's like those are there's so many
things to know, and it's I think it's like that's again,
to go back to the politics of it. We should
not put so much pressure on all of us to
get every single thing right? Am I going to get

(01:10:12):
messages from polyamorous people that are angry at the way
that I feel about it? Sure they're not fucking my wife,
I'll tell you that much.

Speaker 1 (01:10:23):
So please stay away.

Speaker 4 (01:10:26):
But you know, follow me? Yeah? Do you give us
all a follow? I do want to plug something? Okay,
it's my Instagram account. That's where I plug everything. My
Instagram account. I'm going to be on this cartoon that
big mouth people are making called Mating Season. I play
a lonely horny fox and I am consulting on it. Oh,

(01:10:48):
we go in sometimes.

Speaker 3 (01:10:49):
That's great, that's real nice. Also, I want to watch
this farming.

Speaker 4 (01:10:54):
Farming for Love?

Speaker 6 (01:10:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:10:56):
Is that a Canadian?

Speaker 3 (01:10:57):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:10:58):
You plug my Canadian REALC show?

Speaker 3 (01:11:00):
Oh help me?

Speaker 4 (01:11:01):
Farmers Find Love?

Speaker 1 (01:11:03):
I just look, I love it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:06):
When I first saw that Farmers Ownly was an app,
I was like, that is the best specific genre.

Speaker 4 (01:11:15):
You know, farmers. You say the word farmer and you
picture these like I literally thought I was going to
be walking into just a stable full of men with
straw on their masks. Of course, it's like we've come
so far as to like expect Chris to know the
difference between jahat and then you say farmer and we're like,
all right, let's get into it with these fellas. But

(01:11:36):
these are like really hot, cool people. There's a gay farmer.
In the first season, there was a South Asian girl farmer.
It's like, there's lots of different people that are on
the farm and they are out in zip codes that
don't have the apps, you know, yeah, yeah, and I'm
bringing them some cuties.

Speaker 3 (01:11:51):
I love it. I love it. I want I want
to watch that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:54):
I did too.

Speaker 2 (01:11:55):
I start asking questions, but I'll just watch it and
answer my own questions.

Speaker 4 (01:11:59):
Watch it answer your own questions.

Speaker 2 (01:12:01):
I just like, I grew up in a very rural
area myself, and the thing I really like about farmers
is that they're secretly rich and I think it's fucking hilarious.
They could buy you and sell you anywhere you went,
and they are just have like dirty lead jeans on
and are kind of like quiet and I that's my
face sex.

Speaker 1 (01:12:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:12:19):
I know how to grow a plant from seed to
you know, to feeding to feeding, seating to feeding.

Speaker 1 (01:12:27):
You can use that for next season.

Speaker 4 (01:12:28):
Thank you so much. Yeah, you're going to see it
all over my Instagram. Just pictures of me with seating
to feeding, from seating to feeding.

Speaker 1 (01:12:35):
I've done it again, from seating to feeding.

Speaker 3 (01:12:38):
Screena thank you for saying a series of thoughtful, beautiful
things all in a row.

Speaker 4 (01:12:44):
Yeah, so I do it again all over again. And
I am sad to get out. I'm sure I'm not
the first person to say it all sad to get out.

Speaker 3 (01:12:52):
When I first saw you did stand up, we were
doing like the Kibbitts Room and part of Canters, and
you were so hilarious and I liked you right away,
and the audience did too, and you turn the show
around and then I had fun on stage.

Speaker 4 (01:13:07):
Yay.

Speaker 3 (01:13:08):
And I've been a fan of your stand up. I
wish i'd see you more out on the circuit. I
know it's kind of disbanded. Our circuit circuit is disbanded.
But also I just do a little more picky, choosy. Sure,
I'm sure we're all in our own sort of relationship
with like what is stand.

Speaker 4 (01:13:26):
Up to me? Yeah? Yeah, I do these other things
like what energy do I have for my first child?
And the energy that I have for my first child.
I go out, I'd say like three or four times
a month and try and have fun, yeah, and not
put pressure on myself to be doing more because I
like it, especially these days it's dark. Put on the fireplace.

Speaker 7 (01:13:47):
Yeah, I'm a golden Bachelorrett Blanket, Yeah, ayahuasca all the
every next I've got to make room for all the
drugs you're doing.

Speaker 4 (01:14:01):
Thank you for saying that, Chris.

Speaker 1 (01:14:02):
Oh yeah, you're you're the best.

Speaker 4 (01:14:04):
Care I want to know that I saw you when
I was in Toronto before, like when I was just
maybe a year before I started doing stand up, and
it was so incredible and inspiring and really, yeah, you
were opening.

Speaker 1 (01:14:19):
For when Ellenda Jennet.

Speaker 4 (01:14:20):
That's right, well that show whatever happened to that one.

Speaker 1 (01:14:25):
That Gal Sabrina.

Speaker 2 (01:14:27):
I think you may have witnessed me at the literal
zenith of my stand up career because that show, yeah,
I'll never forget it. First of all, right, yes, and
the it was the place where it looked like those
things went up. It looked like an old fashioned opera
house where those like things go up all the way
where you're like, what the fuck is this? And SARS

(01:14:49):
has had just come out no way, So there was
a bunch of people canceling and we didn't cancel because
we had like twenty nine shows and thirty days that
we had to do before.

Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
The talk shows.

Speaker 2 (01:15:00):
And uh so she was like, I'm not going to
cancel until somebody tells me I have to. And so
the audience was really stoked that even that the.

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
Show was going on.

Speaker 2 (01:15:10):
Yes, and then because of I don't know, because I'd
already had twenty five shows under my belt and this
and that and this and that, it was like the
greatest set I've ever had.

Speaker 4 (01:15:22):
It was filmed. It's like, what that would be amazing
if like that would be That's like what I think
like the next special should be is just like we
make it accessible to film in a gorgeous way. You're
on a tour like that, you do the last five,
it's just like it's it's no, there's not the pressure.
It's just like, yes, you just happened to be somewhere
and it was the magic and it was caught, but

(01:15:43):
I caught it. I filmed it with my eyes.

Speaker 1 (01:15:45):
I can't tell you how much that.

Speaker 4 (01:15:47):
And then one of my first it's probably like a
year before I started stand up, and one of my
first jokes and this is before I knew I was gay.
Was about walking around holding my mom's hand at the
Ellen Degenerous her show and and like the punchline is
like people were like, who are these lesbians? And I'm
like and all of the layers of that because my

(01:16:07):
mom's white doesn't look like me, and it was like,
but then me not knowing that I was gay, it was.

Speaker 1 (01:16:12):
Like, oh, you knew a little.

Speaker 4 (01:16:15):
Oh I always knew a little, but not enough.

Speaker 3 (01:16:17):
And because you were at that show and inspired to
do stand up, Karen helped write that shoke.

Speaker 4 (01:16:22):
I you did.

Speaker 1 (01:16:24):
Am a part of all of this. This is my
high on the mat.

Speaker 4 (01:16:30):
We're all.

Speaker 3 (01:16:30):
I've never heard you tell a story where you're saying
you did great. What Karen is always like I was
never good at stand up?

Speaker 4 (01:16:39):
Well, no, she was fantastic.

Speaker 2 (01:16:40):
Yeah, spent thank you so much. It's been a real lately.
It's the same thing you're talking about where it's like,
I'm not sure what stand up means to me anymore.
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing. I
don't have that real loud voice that's making me write
stuff down, so I kind of get up on stage
and go, this is wasting all of our time. And
I have that kind of like I think it's just

(01:17:00):
a soured by hard jobs that I've had in the meanwhile,
where it's like I think I really flourished as a
stand up comedian because I was a wonderful alcoholic. I
love joking, joky fun times all the time, ye like,
and that lifestyle. I embodied that lifestyle of like sets
every night, I'll make front of you at dinner, fuck you,

(01:17:22):
you know what I mean. Like it never stopped, and
I thought it was the best. And then of course
I had to stop drinking, and then everything got kind
of real, and then I had to get a job,
and then everything got more real, and then I was like,
maybe I shouldn't just be insulting people because it popped
into my head.

Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
Maybe I should be a little nicer, Maybe I should
be this and that.

Speaker 2 (01:17:41):
Maybe this is all a coping mechanism, and you know,
then you kind of I think it's just I'm so
sorry to say this.

Speaker 1 (01:17:49):
It's growing up, So.

Speaker 4 (01:17:51):
Yeah it is. But it is like, first of all,
it's such a delusional thing to be like it's my
turn to tap for twenty minutes. It is like that's insane.
I think all of this is kind of a scam,
like what did we do here? I got in this car,
we talk and and people so many people are gonna
listen to it. It's all just like part of running
a scam. And I mean I think everybody, I truly

(01:18:13):
do think every comic that's been in it for a
long time, unless you're someone who is one of those,
like you know, like I do three shows a night
in New York and then I'm on the road. I think,
I mean, I would say those people probably have an
equally challenging relationship to stand up. It's all so challenging.
It's such an intense identity. It's so the definition of

(01:18:34):
the identity is like old and dusty and feels like
kind of similar to like you know, you hear about
the way Lauren Michaels ran or writing writer's room, and
then you think about the rooms that you really enjoy
being in. It's like there's many ways to cut the pie,
and it's like the most rigid pie cutting ways are
are the way we judge ourselves against is in terms

(01:18:54):
of like are we a stand up or not? And
I just feel like, yeah, of course, if you know,
if you know the feeling of crushing on stage. You
are a comic. It does. It's it's like any sport
that you play. It's like hard to like step out
and then get back in and be like, oh, I
know how it felt when I was just tighter and
all that stuff. But everybody in here is a stand

(01:19:14):
up comic, except I do have to say I'm sorry,
but Audio you're not. I always have to drag a
polly person. I love it.

Speaker 3 (01:19:30):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 4 (01:19:31):
Guys, call me whenever you need to be give me read.

Speaker 2 (01:19:37):
You are the greatest Sabrina. This is gonna be a
fun one, but I am so happy. I'm so happy
to have met you.

Speaker 4 (01:19:44):
Come on and have me back and yay, you know,
come on, come on after that. I'm doing Largo December tenth.
I'm doing Union Hall December nineteenth and Tomedy Bar December
twenty second. And guess what, I know this will already
have aired, and I know you're gonna have to go
it up. But if you would it kill you to
plug me now and then ones that are coming up.

Speaker 3 (01:20:04):
You just showed so much podcast experience knowing to plug,
knowing that it probably won't.

Speaker 4 (01:20:09):
Don't you just drop that in one of your juicy
little podcasts that are coming out, yes, before then.

Speaker 1 (01:20:14):
Well in a different one, yeah, randomly.

Speaker 4 (01:20:17):
Yeah, just ask someone to do an impression of Sabran
and Julie's promoting. Okay, guys, you know when it's.

Speaker 1 (01:20:24):
Time, you're the greatest.

Speaker 4 (01:20:26):
Yeah, you're the greatest.

Speaker 1 (01:20:27):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 (01:20:29):
By what a trip episode. I'm like, it happens all
the time where I'm like, if a guest is saying
so many impressive things like that, and I'm like, I
get self conscious about the ability of my own brain.
Yeah that's a good episode. Yeah, I get quiet and
I'm like, oh, this is a person that's more thoughtful

(01:20:53):
than me, at least right now.

Speaker 2 (01:20:55):
Well, it's the short term versus long term where it's
like she could do the hard short term jokes.

Speaker 1 (01:21:02):
But that's what I'm here for me too.

Speaker 2 (01:21:05):
But then the discussion, being able to have a real
discussion is the point of this fucking is what we're doing,
and she clearly gets it.

Speaker 1 (01:21:14):
Yeah, in that way.

Speaker 3 (01:21:16):
You've just listened to a good episode.

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
Oh we're still doing I forgot we didn't say ride
b yan aar.

Speaker 1 (01:21:26):
Now let's continue to discuss and now more thoughts.

Speaker 3 (01:21:36):
This has been an exactly Right Production.

Speaker 1 (01:21:39):
Our senior producer is Annalise Nelson.

Speaker 3 (01:21:42):
Mixed by Edson Choy.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
Our talent booker is Patrick Cootner.

Speaker 3 (01:21:46):
Theme song by Karen Kilgarriff.

Speaker 1 (01:21:48):
Artwork by Chris Fairbanks.

Speaker 2 (01:21:50):
Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
podcast That's d y n ar Podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:21:57):
For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:22:00):
Thank you, Oh, You're welcome.

All Episodes

S4 - Ep. 69 - Sabrina Jalees

Episode Transcript

Hosts And Creators

Karen Kilgariff

Chris Fairbanks

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}S4 - Ep. 69 - Sabrina Jalees