July 24, 2023 • 20 mins
This week’s hometowns include a near-death experience on a cruise ship and finding traysure in a trash bag.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Love Hell, Hello and welcome to my favorite murder, the minisod.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It's Jamie Tiny. We're going to read you stories that
you wrote in Thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
That's right? Should I go first? Do it? Okay? This
one's called who Let this Man have a Chainsaw? Are
you there? MFM?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
It's me, longtime listener, first time emailer, Margaret. I've been
saying I'm going to write this in for nearly a year,
and I guess today is the day. Love the pod,
hate the world we live in. Let's fucking go.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
For context, I grew up in a quiet village in
rural England. We had the usual combination of I did
like country sidewalks and rampant conservative views, but on the
whole it was a very safe, quiet kind of place.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I've since moved.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
My parents live in the same little bungalow they did
when I was born twenty five years ago. Once or
twice a year, my parents book a gardner to come
over and from the hedges. They'd used the same guy
for years, but he'd recently retired, so for the last
couple of times they'd found someone new who I'll call Bill,
recommended by our elderly neighbor who communicated.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Mostly through email.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
A couple of days before Bill was due to come
over and from the hedges, my mom got an email
from our neighbor ominously chiled, I don't think Bill will
be coming, with a link to a local news article. Girls,
Bill wasn't coming to cut the hedges because he had
just been arrested for murder. Ooh, turns out Bill had
gotten involved in a local family feud. A violent fight
(01:44):
broke out between a father and a son, and Bill
apparently got involved to resolve the situation, but ended up
literally beating.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
A man to death. Oh god.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
The guy he beat up apparently walked himself to the
A and E or the ers you call it, never
mentioned in the fight, and died a few days later.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Fucking crazy.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So not a super uplifting story, but iconic that we
found out the gardener wasn't coming because I'm an email
from our elderly neighbor. I know it's rogue these days
to actually write a hometown murder in as a hometown,
but hopefully this is fine. Pitp Cherio m she Her.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I think that sign off was sarcastic.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
As a British person, I don't think I've ever heard that,
but we appreciate it. Louis, Well, that's also in lots
of different ways to look at it. But a nightmare
story about like intervening, yeah, becoming a part of something
and getting caught up like that, that's horrifying totally. It
wasn't your business to be in with. Good Lord, mind
(02:44):
your business, Mind your business.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Please.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
When I used to like live in San Francisco and
I'd see like fights breaking out at night in the street,
I would just yell cops are coming, just to like
then they'd.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Think cops were coming and break it up.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Oh that's smart, right, Yeah, and you don't actually have
to the cops. Now we're get involved, Okay. The title
of this email is cruise ship Near Death Experience.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Hop.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Fuck, it just starts, Ladies, I present to you the
reason why I struggle with generalized anxiety to this day.
And then it says date of event two thousand and nine.
For a little context, my name is Emma. I grew
up in Tampa, Florida with a kick ass older sister
who's now a public defender, and as smart as hell
little brother, now an electrical engineer.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
In two thousand and nine, my suirly tired as hell,
were raising three children to snark you for their own
good parents opted for a relatively contained spring break trip,
a cruise. This was one of two cruises we went
on as a family, and while I can't tell you
which was which, I do remember this particular night vividly
at the time, and I'm twenty five now, my brother
(03:50):
and I were sworn enemies. We fought physically and emotionally
non stop. I'm talking screaming matches, fistfights. One time I
bit him, and my parents, undoubtedly needing a break from
the madness, left Kate, my fourteen or something year old sister,
in charge while they went and spent a few pennies
at the on ship casino.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Blah blah blah.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Just imagine relative piece devolving into chaos in the middle
of a Disney Channel original movie here.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
And Will and I end up fighting.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Kate's texting on her phone and the next thing you know, Will,
who's nine years old at the time, has locked me
out of the kid's room and into my parents adjoining suite.
Everyone knows the parents' room is boring as shit, and
I was pissed, so MFM, I took matters into my
own hands and formulated a plan. And by formulated, I
mean I generated a half coherent thought and said send it.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Oh, I feel like I heard what this is going
and I can't handle it.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
I ventured onto my parents' balcony and, leaning slightly over
the rail, looked over at the kid's room. The balconies
were separated by an inch wide panel of textured glass
that was about seven to eight feet tall. If I
had to guess, you could lean slightly over the balcony
to peek over at the adjoining room, but you couldn't
(05:09):
see through the glass. With the adjoining door locked, and
unwilling to venture out into the hallway and risk getting
locked out of both rooms, I did the unthinkable. Next
thing I know, I'm twelve years old and swinging my
leg over the balcony of a cruise ship. Having tried
my luck at the on ship facilitated rock wall that day,
I was.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Feeling pretty confident.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
I got both legs over toes, gripping onto the half
inch of leverage I have on the other side, and
looking down, think the twelve year old equivalent of oh, fuck,
ten plus stories beneath me is this inky, swirling blackwater.
I can see the waves breaking against the ship, but
nothing else. Suddenly, palm, sweaty mom, spaghetti, I realize.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I have royally fucked up. Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
I shim my way over to the kid's balcony, swing
my legs back over, and the next thing I know,
I'm staring at my brother through the sliding class.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Both our jaws drop.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
He wordlessly unlocks the door, lets me back in, and
we silently settle back down to finish the movie. I'm
pretty sure my sister had no idea what happened.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Oh my god, dude, I don't put fourteen year olds
in charge.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
We never talked about it after it happened, and it
wasn't until ten years later that I had the courage
to tell my parents they had no idea that they
almost lost their middle child to a man overboard situation
a decade earlier. When I told them, my mom cried.
I think about how stupid I was to this day,
and I will never ever get on a cruise ship again.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
The end. Glad I live to hear MFM love you ladies, Emma.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Oh my god, that's some like sliding doors shit where
it's just like it had been like misty out or
something and the railings had been slippery.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
That's fucking it.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
The moment Emma describes realizing what she's doing and how
scary it is. She should have absolutely lost her grip.
That's what happens to people.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Oh my god, I have like anxiety from that myself.
It's so hilarious.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Also, just that that is like that's the deal breaker
with the little brother where just like right, oh, she's insane,
let her in.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, that's terrifying. Okay, this is called ghosts Daycare in
the attic. Hey, ladies, I've been driving across country from
Utah to the Northeast to visit family and have been
absolutely crushing your episodes. Though I typically gravitate towards your
Thursday shows, the Minnesotes have been more my speed this trip.
(07:48):
As a female driving through the middle of the country
alone with a car covered in stickers that essentially scream
fuck the patriarchy, I am slightly convinced I'm going to
be the next subject of your Thursday episode. So to
keep myself from getting too spooked, I have been deep
diving into the archives of the Minisos and they have
been the sole reason I have been able to maintain
(08:08):
some sense of sanity on this drive. AnyWho, I was
telling my mom about the minisods the other day and
she responded that I should write in about the ghost
kids in the attic. Excuse me what. I am one
of four kids, all badass girls, and we moved a
ton as a kid. When I was in about first grade,
we moved into a quirky old house in Jersey, the
(08:30):
type of house that legit had secret passageways from room
to room. As a kid obsessed with hide and seek,
this was my literal dream. The reason we got the house, though,
wasn't too dreamy. The family that lived there before us
had recently lost their two teenage children in a car accident.
Oh No, and couldn't bear to live there anymore. They
were happy to pass off the home to an enthusiastic
(08:52):
family with young kids. We were never told of this
as children, for obvious reasons I know, heartbreaking. I sent
my sister's and I off to school in the morning
after moving in. However, my youngest sister at the time
stayed home as she was not old enough to go
to school yet. Per my mom, each day my sister
would wander up to the attic and stay there for hours.
(09:14):
As a mom with four young kids who was also
moving into a new house, she didn't question why my
sister would vanish each day for hours. She enjoyed the
peace and alone time, and my sister was entertained. Then
it says, nope, not an eighties mom, just to hit
mom raising her kids in the early two thousands. One day,
my mom asked my sister what she was doing in
the attic. My sister responded, I was playing with the
(09:37):
kids up there. My mom asked who the kids were,
and my sister proceeded to tell her the names of
the children that had lived there before us and had
passed away in the car accident. My mom was shocked,
but also not willing to give up her peace and quiet.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Each day.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
She continued to send her three oldest children off to
school each day and then walk my sister up to.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
The attic for her playdate. Oh that's the story.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Thanks for helping me stay sane on my travels, stay sexy,
and don't waste money on childcare. If you have teenage
ghosts living in the attic, Mollie, she her hers.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
That's the saddest ghost story I've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
She went up there and they like played with her.
That's sweet.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
They came home. M hm oh God, heavy, so heavy.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Sorry, Oh no, I mean these are all the stories
we like to hear.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Okay, well, well let's take a left turn. Okay, please,
God please.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
The subject line of this email is Nana used her
last words to yell at Jesus.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Hi y'all.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
After hearing that hospice nurse tell her last words hometown
on Minnesod three, fourteen, I thought i'd tell you my favorite.
My aunt's mother in law we called her Nana, was
a beautiful, kind and truly classy lady in life. She
always gave me old movie grandma vibes, the kind of
grandma that wanted you to sit proper like a lady,
and also snuck you homemade cookies when your parents weren't looking,
(11:05):
you know, the kind. As she got closer to the end, however,
she got crankier and crankier. I think her memory was
rapidly declining, and she often snapped at those caring for her.
It was sad to see, but everyone tried to hold
onto the good memories and let go.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Of the bad.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Cut to her deathbed. She was quiet and small in
her bed. Those around her wept. This was clearly it.
Knowing my sweet aunt, she would have told her it
was okay to let go, that everyone would be okay.
But suddenly Nana shot up in bed and angrily yelled
turn off that damn light, and then she died. Stay
(11:40):
sexy and pray. They have sunglasses. In the afterlife.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Jane is walking towards the light. She's like, turn that off,
that shit off. It's the light, Grandma, it's the light. Jesus,
you're wasting electricity. Turn that shit off, turn it off.
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Okay, my last one's called always check your garbage. Hey,
Karen Georgia and MFM team. I'm a longtime listener from
Sunny Scotland. I heard recently you asked for stories about
people finding things, and I knew this was my opportunity
to write in and share a story about my dad.
My dad, George, is the kind of dad you call
if you're in a cult. This guy would funck shit
(12:20):
up and sleep like a baby.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
My dad worked as a concierge, a posh name for
security in some high rise buildings where crime was part
of everyday life. His stories are legendary and include, but
are not limited to, the man who collected pigeons to
release them in a local library because the librarian had
pissed him off. Uh oh who says he was arrested.
The other gentleman who threw fruit at children from the
(12:45):
twelfth floor. Or the time my dad had to let
police into a flat where neighbors were worried as they
hadn't seen the guy who lived there and there was
an awful smell coming through, only to find a massive
empty fish tank in the living room, left by the
window in direct sunlight. Oh no, no bodies were found.
Oh the smell of that, Oh this cench.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Anyway, I digress.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
One day my dad was working and he noticed a
bin bag, says the garbage bag propping open an emergency
exit in the office. When he finished his twelve hour shift,
he went to leave through said exit and thought he'd
take the bag round to the large bins at the
back of the building. When he went to lift it,
he could barely get it off the ground. He looked
inside and saw pound coins, thousands of them.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
George, being the.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Badass he is, swiftly pulled his car alongside the door
and managed to just lift it into the boot of
his car. Yes, he took it home, piled the coins
neatly on the living room table in twenty pound piles
until he ran.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Out of room.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
The total was close to and they gave me the
translation for dollars, which I appreciate.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
N eight hundred and fifty two dollars. Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Eighty five hundred pounds. Yes, isn't that wild? Thankfully, nobody
ever asked about the missing money, And while I'm sure
people were suspicious that my dad was then paying for
all his food and bills in one pound coins, nobody
asked any questions. I'm sure the money came from something dodgy,
but George gave no fucks and enjoyed the money thoroughly.
(14:23):
Thanks for all the laps I listened to every day
for seven months driving to and from visiting my mom
in the hospital. She's recovered at home, and you both
kept me going nice much love, stay sexy, and always
look in suspicious garbage bags, Laura, she her.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
I mean, okay, first of all, I bet you no
one noticed that he was paying for things in one
pound notes because people are self obsessed and they don't
notice stuff like that. No, if you find like cold
hard gash like that, yeah, this is your money.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
You found it.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Oh no, we've all seen no country for old men,
and like there's a tracking device in it, and then
they come after you and shit, yeah, but I'm scared.
I'm scared of free money. I don't buy it.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
But are you saying in that situation like that's truly
free money. It's in a garbage bag by the by
the bins as they say, Yeah, but why, I don't know.
You're right, I mean, there's definitely things to fear about it,
but then there's it's also just like, yeah, it was
too heavy for the robbers. They couldn't lift it anymore.
(15:25):
So true true put it somewhere they thought they could
get it again.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Who knows he got away with it, Go bless him.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
I love it when people can get away with easy,
light lift stuff. Definitely where the your average man wins
that we like definitely, But yeah, don't don't try to
steal drug money from cars, help people in the desert.
All that's bad. Okay, So here's my last story. It
(15:53):
says non hero dog story. Hi friends, I've been very
inspired by the series of hero dog stories you featured,
most recently of Captain who escaped from his backyard to
save a woman from a robbery. Truly an inspiration to us.
All sweet I'm writing in with a story that you
didn't ask for about a dog much less heroic, but
I still think it's pretty excellent. A few years back,
(16:16):
my mom came home from work to find our little
white terrier, Ferris missing. Ferris had a dog door to
a fenced in backyard, but seemed to have dug his
way under the fence. My mom is a nurse who
was working twelve hour days, so who knows how long
Ferris was gone. Mom canvassed the neighborhood, but no dice.
She was looking up shelters to call. When the phone rang.
(16:37):
It was a woman a few blocks down the road.
Apparently Ferris had somehow made his way into their house
early in the morning. The woman and her husband worked
opposite shifts, so when she saw a strange dog on
her couch next to her own dog watching TV, she
assumed that her husband had arranged a playdate. She went
to work and didn't worry about it. When her husband
got home that afternoon and saw a strange dog on
(16:59):
the couch with their dog. He assumed his wife had
arranged a play day and didn't worry about it. That evening,
when they were both finally home together, snuggled up on
the couch with two dogs, it was getting a little late,
so the wife turned to the husband and asked, Hey,
whose dog is this. The jig was up, and Ferris,
(17:19):
by then snoozing peacefully, was caught.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Anyway, put your phone number on your dog's collar and
micro chip your pets. Ferris got home safe and sound
and had what sounds like a pretty restorative day off.
All dogs go to heaven, but some dogs say fuck
heroism and instead embrace laziness and they are good dogs too.
Stay sexy and don't ignore the strange dog on the
couch or do It's fine xx Jill.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I mean, I guess I would assume that too, right, Like,
the dogs are just chilling and they're getting along, like Ben,
what would you?
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I love it. They're just watching TV like age children together.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
And everybody, like the humans in the house, assume the
dogs have it handled like, well, if this is their plan,
I'm not going to get involved.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Like, oh my god, I love that so much as
someone who really wants to get cookie up, a playmate,
a partner, and Vin's just like anti, like, I love
it if a dog just fucking ran into our house one.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Day, where you're like, the dog has made the choice. Yes, exactly,
nothing we can do.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
There's a very viral TikTok, very famous nick dog of
a couple that woke up.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
In bed with a dog they didn't know in their bed.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
And it is so funny because the dog is like,
it's this big dog and it's sleeping like a person
between them, and they're like, this dog is this?
Speaker 3 (18:44):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I love the I don't own a cat, but I
don't own a dog.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yes, I guess I do.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Now that shit so much. Send us your bad dog stories.
I want to hear like the the terrible bad but
you know sweet things your dog has done just to
hug stuff.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Yeah, totally. Thanks for listening, everybody. We appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
If you want to see how intensely compelling the visual
aspect and component of the podcast is, you can go
and watch it on the fan cult be a part,
which is videotich. Just go to my favorite murder dot
com and make sure to send us any fucking story
you feel like and stay sexy and don't get murdered.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Guy Bye, Elvis, Do you want a cookie? This has
been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Our producer is Alejandra Keek and.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Then email your hometowns and fucking horays to My Favorite
Murder at gmail dot com.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at my Favorite
Murder and Twitter at my favor Murder gyobye
Love Hell, Hello and welcome to my favorite murder, the minisod.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
It's Jamie Tiny. We're going to read you stories that
you wrote in Thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
That's right? Should I go first? Do it? Okay? This
one's called who Let this Man have a Chainsaw? Are
you there? MFM?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
It's me, longtime listener, first time emailer, Margaret. I've been
saying I'm going to write this in for nearly a year,
and I guess today is the day. Love the pod,
hate the world we live in. Let's fucking go.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
For context, I grew up in a quiet village in
rural England. We had the usual combination of I did
like country sidewalks and rampant conservative views, but on the
whole it was a very safe, quiet kind of place.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
I've since moved.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
My parents live in the same little bungalow they did
when I was born twenty five years ago. Once or
twice a year, my parents book a gardner to come
over and from the hedges. They'd used the same guy
for years, but he'd recently retired, so for the last
couple of times they'd found someone new who I'll call Bill,
recommended by our elderly neighbor who communicated.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Mostly through email.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
A couple of days before Bill was due to come
over and from the hedges, my mom got an email
from our neighbor ominously chiled, I don't think Bill will
be coming, with a link to a local news article. Girls,
Bill wasn't coming to cut the hedges because he had
just been arrested for murder. Ooh, turns out Bill had
gotten involved in a local family feud. A violent fight
(01:44):
broke out between a father and a son, and Bill
apparently got involved to resolve the situation, but ended up
literally beating.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
A man to death. Oh god.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
The guy he beat up apparently walked himself to the
A and E or the ers you call it, never
mentioned in the fight, and died a few days later.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Fucking crazy.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So not a super uplifting story, but iconic that we
found out the gardener wasn't coming because I'm an email
from our elderly neighbor. I know it's rogue these days
to actually write a hometown murder in as a hometown,
but hopefully this is fine. Pitp Cherio m she Her.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I think that sign off was sarcastic.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
As a British person, I don't think I've ever heard that,
but we appreciate it. Louis, Well, that's also in lots
of different ways to look at it. But a nightmare
story about like intervening, yeah, becoming a part of something
and getting caught up like that, that's horrifying totally. It
wasn't your business to be in with. Good Lord, mind
(02:44):
your business, Mind your business.
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Please.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
When I used to like live in San Francisco and
I'd see like fights breaking out at night in the street,
I would just yell cops are coming, just to like
then they'd.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Think cops were coming and break it up.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Oh that's smart, right, Yeah, and you don't actually have
to the cops. Now we're get involved, Okay. The title
of this email is cruise ship Near Death Experience.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Hop.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
Fuck, it just starts, Ladies, I present to you the
reason why I struggle with generalized anxiety to this day.
And then it says date of event two thousand and nine.
For a little context, my name is Emma. I grew
up in Tampa, Florida with a kick ass older sister
who's now a public defender, and as smart as hell
little brother, now an electrical engineer.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
In two thousand and nine, my suirly tired as hell,
were raising three children to snark you for their own
good parents opted for a relatively contained spring break trip,
a cruise. This was one of two cruises we went
on as a family, and while I can't tell you
which was which, I do remember this particular night vividly
at the time, and I'm twenty five now, my brother
(03:50):
and I were sworn enemies. We fought physically and emotionally
non stop. I'm talking screaming matches, fistfights. One time I
bit him, and my parents, undoubtedly needing a break from
the madness, left Kate, my fourteen or something year old sister,
in charge while they went and spent a few pennies
at the on ship casino.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Blah blah blah.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
Just imagine relative piece devolving into chaos in the middle
of a Disney Channel original movie here.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
And Will and I end up fighting.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
Kate's texting on her phone and the next thing you know, Will,
who's nine years old at the time, has locked me
out of the kid's room and into my parents adjoining suite.
Everyone knows the parents' room is boring as shit, and
I was pissed, so MFM, I took matters into my
own hands and formulated a plan. And by formulated, I
mean I generated a half coherent thought and said send it.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Oh, I feel like I heard what this is going
and I can't handle it.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
I ventured onto my parents' balcony and, leaning slightly over
the rail, looked over at the kid's room. The balconies
were separated by an inch wide panel of textured glass
that was about seven to eight feet tall. If I
had to guess, you could lean slightly over the balcony
to peek over at the adjoining room, but you couldn't
(05:09):
see through the glass. With the adjoining door locked, and
unwilling to venture out into the hallway and risk getting
locked out of both rooms, I did the unthinkable. Next
thing I know, I'm twelve years old and swinging my
leg over the balcony of a cruise ship. Having tried
my luck at the on ship facilitated rock wall that day,
I was.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
Feeling pretty confident.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
I got both legs over toes, gripping onto the half
inch of leverage I have on the other side, and
looking down, think the twelve year old equivalent of oh, fuck,
ten plus stories beneath me is this inky, swirling blackwater.
I can see the waves breaking against the ship, but
nothing else. Suddenly, palm, sweaty mom, spaghetti, I realize.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I have royally fucked up. Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
I shim my way over to the kid's balcony, swing
my legs back over, and the next thing I know,
I'm staring at my brother through the sliding class.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Both our jaws drop.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
He wordlessly unlocks the door, lets me back in, and
we silently settle back down to finish the movie. I'm
pretty sure my sister had no idea what happened.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Oh my god, dude, I don't put fourteen year olds
in charge.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
We never talked about it after it happened, and it
wasn't until ten years later that I had the courage
to tell my parents they had no idea that they
almost lost their middle child to a man overboard situation
a decade earlier. When I told them, my mom cried.
I think about how stupid I was to this day,
and I will never ever get on a cruise ship again.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
The end. Glad I live to hear MFM love you ladies, Emma.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Oh my god, that's some like sliding doors shit where
it's just like it had been like misty out or
something and the railings had been slippery.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
That's fucking it.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
The moment Emma describes realizing what she's doing and how
scary it is. She should have absolutely lost her grip.
That's what happens to people.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Oh my god, I have like anxiety from that myself.
It's so hilarious.
Speaker 4 (07:21):
Also, just that that is like that's the deal breaker
with the little brother where just like right, oh, she's insane,
let her in.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, that's terrifying. Okay, this is called ghosts Daycare in
the attic. Hey, ladies, I've been driving across country from
Utah to the Northeast to visit family and have been
absolutely crushing your episodes. Though I typically gravitate towards your
Thursday shows, the Minnesotes have been more my speed this trip.
(07:48):
As a female driving through the middle of the country
alone with a car covered in stickers that essentially scream
fuck the patriarchy, I am slightly convinced I'm going to
be the next subject of your Thursday episode. So to
keep myself from getting too spooked, I have been deep
diving into the archives of the Minisos and they have
been the sole reason I have been able to maintain
(08:08):
some sense of sanity on this drive. AnyWho, I was
telling my mom about the minisods the other day and
she responded that I should write in about the ghost
kids in the attic. Excuse me what. I am one
of four kids, all badass girls, and we moved a
ton as a kid. When I was in about first grade,
we moved into a quirky old house in Jersey, the
(08:30):
type of house that legit had secret passageways from room
to room. As a kid obsessed with hide and seek,
this was my literal dream. The reason we got the house, though,
wasn't too dreamy. The family that lived there before us
had recently lost their two teenage children in a car accident.
Oh No, and couldn't bear to live there anymore. They
were happy to pass off the home to an enthusiastic
(08:52):
family with young kids. We were never told of this
as children, for obvious reasons I know, heartbreaking. I sent
my sister's and I off to school in the morning
after moving in. However, my youngest sister at the time
stayed home as she was not old enough to go
to school yet. Per my mom, each day my sister
would wander up to the attic and stay there for hours.
(09:14):
As a mom with four young kids who was also
moving into a new house, she didn't question why my
sister would vanish each day for hours. She enjoyed the
peace and alone time, and my sister was entertained. Then
it says, nope, not an eighties mom, just to hit
mom raising her kids in the early two thousands. One day,
my mom asked my sister what she was doing in
the attic. My sister responded, I was playing with the
(09:37):
kids up there. My mom asked who the kids were,
and my sister proceeded to tell her the names of
the children that had lived there before us and had
passed away in the car accident. My mom was shocked,
but also not willing to give up her peace and quiet.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Each day.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
She continued to send her three oldest children off to
school each day and then walk my sister up to.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
The attic for her playdate. Oh that's the story.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
Thanks for helping me stay sane on my travels, stay sexy,
and don't waste money on childcare. If you have teenage
ghosts living in the attic, Mollie, she her hers.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
That's the saddest ghost story I've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
She went up there and they like played with her.
That's sweet.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
They came home. M hm oh God, heavy, so heavy.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Sorry, Oh no, I mean these are all the stories
we like to hear.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Okay, well, well let's take a left turn. Okay, please,
God please.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
The subject line of this email is Nana used her
last words to yell at Jesus.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Hi y'all.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
After hearing that hospice nurse tell her last words hometown
on Minnesod three, fourteen, I thought i'd tell you my favorite.
My aunt's mother in law we called her Nana, was
a beautiful, kind and truly classy lady in life. She
always gave me old movie grandma vibes, the kind of
grandma that wanted you to sit proper like a lady,
and also snuck you homemade cookies when your parents weren't looking,
(11:05):
you know, the kind. As she got closer to the end, however,
she got crankier and crankier. I think her memory was
rapidly declining, and she often snapped at those caring for her.
It was sad to see, but everyone tried to hold
onto the good memories and let go.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Of the bad.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Cut to her deathbed. She was quiet and small in
her bed. Those around her wept. This was clearly it.
Knowing my sweet aunt, she would have told her it
was okay to let go, that everyone would be okay.
But suddenly Nana shot up in bed and angrily yelled
turn off that damn light, and then she died. Stay
(11:40):
sexy and pray. They have sunglasses. In the afterlife.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Jane is walking towards the light. She's like, turn that off,
that shit off. It's the light, Grandma, it's the light. Jesus,
you're wasting electricity. Turn that shit off, turn it off.
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Okay, my last one's called always check your garbage. Hey,
Karen Georgia and MFM team. I'm a longtime listener from
Sunny Scotland. I heard recently you asked for stories about
people finding things, and I knew this was my opportunity
to write in and share a story about my dad.
My dad, George, is the kind of dad you call
if you're in a cult. This guy would funck shit
(12:20):
up and sleep like a baby.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Anyway.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
My dad worked as a concierge, a posh name for
security in some high rise buildings where crime was part
of everyday life. His stories are legendary and include, but
are not limited to, the man who collected pigeons to
release them in a local library because the librarian had
pissed him off. Uh oh who says he was arrested.
The other gentleman who threw fruit at children from the
(12:45):
twelfth floor. Or the time my dad had to let
police into a flat where neighbors were worried as they
hadn't seen the guy who lived there and there was
an awful smell coming through, only to find a massive
empty fish tank in the living room, left by the
window in direct sunlight. Oh no, no bodies were found.
Oh the smell of that, Oh this cench.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Anyway, I digress.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
One day my dad was working and he noticed a
bin bag, says the garbage bag propping open an emergency
exit in the office. When he finished his twelve hour shift,
he went to leave through said exit and thought he'd
take the bag round to the large bins at the
back of the building. When he went to lift it,
he could barely get it off the ground. He looked
inside and saw pound coins, thousands of them.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
George, being the.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Badass he is, swiftly pulled his car alongside the door
and managed to just lift it into the boot of
his car. Yes, he took it home, piled the coins
neatly on the living room table in twenty pound piles
until he ran.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Out of room.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
The total was close to and they gave me the
translation for dollars, which I appreciate.
Speaker 3 (13:57):
N eight hundred and fifty two dollars. Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Eighty five hundred pounds. Yes, isn't that wild? Thankfully, nobody
ever asked about the missing money, And while I'm sure
people were suspicious that my dad was then paying for
all his food and bills in one pound coins, nobody
asked any questions. I'm sure the money came from something dodgy,
but George gave no fucks and enjoyed the money thoroughly.
(14:23):
Thanks for all the laps I listened to every day
for seven months driving to and from visiting my mom
in the hospital. She's recovered at home, and you both
kept me going nice much love, stay sexy, and always
look in suspicious garbage bags, Laura, she her.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
I mean, okay, first of all, I bet you no
one noticed that he was paying for things in one
pound notes because people are self obsessed and they don't
notice stuff like that. No, if you find like cold
hard gash like that, yeah, this is your money.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
You found it.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Oh no, we've all seen no country for old men,
and like there's a tracking device in it, and then
they come after you and shit, yeah, but I'm scared.
I'm scared of free money. I don't buy it.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
But are you saying in that situation like that's truly
free money. It's in a garbage bag by the by
the bins as they say, Yeah, but why, I don't know.
You're right, I mean, there's definitely things to fear about it,
but then there's it's also just like, yeah, it was
too heavy for the robbers. They couldn't lift it anymore.
(15:25):
So true true put it somewhere they thought they could
get it again.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Who knows he got away with it, Go bless him.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
I love it when people can get away with easy,
light lift stuff. Definitely where the your average man wins
that we like definitely, But yeah, don't don't try to
steal drug money from cars, help people in the desert.
All that's bad. Okay, So here's my last story. It
(15:53):
says non hero dog story. Hi friends, I've been very
inspired by the series of hero dog stories you featured,
most recently of Captain who escaped from his backyard to
save a woman from a robbery. Truly an inspiration to us.
All sweet I'm writing in with a story that you
didn't ask for about a dog much less heroic, but
I still think it's pretty excellent. A few years back,
(16:16):
my mom came home from work to find our little
white terrier, Ferris missing. Ferris had a dog door to
a fenced in backyard, but seemed to have dug his
way under the fence. My mom is a nurse who
was working twelve hour days, so who knows how long
Ferris was gone. Mom canvassed the neighborhood, but no dice.
She was looking up shelters to call. When the phone rang.
(16:37):
It was a woman a few blocks down the road.
Apparently Ferris had somehow made his way into their house
early in the morning. The woman and her husband worked
opposite shifts, so when she saw a strange dog on
her couch next to her own dog watching TV, she
assumed that her husband had arranged a playdate. She went
to work and didn't worry about it. When her husband
got home that afternoon and saw a strange dog on
(16:59):
the couch with their dog. He assumed his wife had
arranged a play day and didn't worry about it. That evening,
when they were both finally home together, snuggled up on
the couch with two dogs, it was getting a little late,
so the wife turned to the husband and asked, Hey,
whose dog is this. The jig was up, and Ferris,
(17:19):
by then snoozing peacefully, was caught.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (17:26):
Anyway, put your phone number on your dog's collar and
micro chip your pets. Ferris got home safe and sound
and had what sounds like a pretty restorative day off.
All dogs go to heaven, but some dogs say fuck
heroism and instead embrace laziness and they are good dogs too.
Stay sexy and don't ignore the strange dog on the
couch or do It's fine xx Jill.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I mean, I guess I would assume that too, right, Like,
the dogs are just chilling and they're getting along, like Ben,
what would you?
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I love it. They're just watching TV like age children together.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
And everybody, like the humans in the house, assume the
dogs have it handled like, well, if this is their plan,
I'm not going to get involved.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Like, oh my god, I love that so much as
someone who really wants to get cookie up, a playmate,
a partner, and Vin's just like anti, like, I love
it if a dog just fucking ran into our house one.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Day, where you're like, the dog has made the choice. Yes, exactly,
nothing we can do.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
There's a very viral TikTok, very famous nick dog of
a couple that woke up.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
In bed with a dog they didn't know in their bed.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
And it is so funny because the dog is like,
it's this big dog and it's sleeping like a person
between them, and they're like, this dog is this?
Speaker 3 (18:44):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
I love the I don't own a cat, but I
don't own a dog.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Yes, I guess I do.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Now that shit so much. Send us your bad dog stories.
I want to hear like the the terrible bad but
you know sweet things your dog has done just to
hug stuff.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Yeah, totally. Thanks for listening, everybody. We appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
If you want to see how intensely compelling the visual
aspect and component of the podcast is, you can go
and watch it on the fan cult be a part,
which is videotich. Just go to my favorite murder dot
com and make sure to send us any fucking story
you feel like and stay sexy and don't get murdered.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Guy Bye, Elvis, Do you want a cookie? This has
been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Our producer is Alejandra Keek and.
Speaker 4 (19:38):
This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Then email your hometowns and fucking horays to My Favorite
Murder at gmail dot com.
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at my Favorite
Murder and Twitter at my favor Murder gyobye
Hosts And Creators
Georgia Hardstark
Karen Kilgariff
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