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July 19, 2025 • 35 mins
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is a podcast from woor oh, Hot damn. A
cheating couple busted on the kiss cam and a Coldplay concert.
Turns out if they wanted privacy, they should have went
to the Stephen Colbert Show Fox Across America with Jimmy
Fala getting ready for an addition by subtraction episode of

(00:21):
the show, Stephen Colbert Walking the Plank over at CBS Cinematia.
I will explain in great detail over the course of
the next hour why this is a win for Republicans, Democrats, libertarians.
Even if you're a member of the Whig Party like

(00:42):
Maxine Waters.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
The point is this show is for you.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Danny Polischuk is going to be here to talk about
the Epstein client list, because I'm not shutting up.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
This guy will say anything.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
We're also going to get into things with Jersey Joe Kancha,
who is throwing a couple of challenge flags at the
media this week. I gotta be honest, there's enough things
to challenge. We're gonna need Tommy John surgery by the
time this thing is over, eight at eight seven and
eight nine to nine one zero. If you want to
be a part of the show, it is a show
that has one rule.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Every day.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Man, it is a reverse cold are I said at
the time we started the show. I said at the
time we started Fox News Saturday Night comedy does not
have a political party. Comedy is a party. Okay, if
you were throwing a party, you would not ask the
hot chicks who they voted for. You know, if you're
throwing a keg party in the backyard and a girl

(01:36):
shows up in your backyard, you know, and a boobs
all pushed up and see, you don't go hey, honey before.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
You come in.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
I just I just gotta know who you voted for,
and to let nobody cares. The point is you're here
to laugh. You have here to have a good time.
So for the next three hours, if you'd like to
engage in any such shenanigans, all we ask is that
you'd be a Republican, you be a Democrat.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Just don't be a.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Happy Friday, everybody, and it is a good Friday from me.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Is a guy who roots for comedy.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
I absolutely positively am never going to celebrate a guy
getting fired because most of us still aren't sure how
I got hired. We don't even know what I'm One day,
I was driving along in a taxi. You know, there's
only so many shots you can take at Jimmy Kimmel,
the guy hangs out with Magic Johnson. Okay, my career

(02:23):
was in a place five years ago where I would
have taken a blood donation from Magic Johnson. But the
point is, guys like him and Colbert set back late
night comedy as much as that couple app in Massachusetts
set back kiss cams at the Coldplay concert.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
They made it a disaster for everyone involved.

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Here is Colbert announcing the good news of comedy Easter
clip one.

Speaker 3 (02:44):
Before we start the show, I want to let you
know something that I found out just last night. Next
year will be our last season. The network will be
ending the Late Show in May. And yeah, I share

(03:04):
your feelings. It's not just the end of our show,
but it's the end of the Late Show on CBS.
I'm not being replaced, This is all just going away.
And I do want to say I do want to
say that the folks at CBS have been great partners.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Okay, so that's part one of what has to be
a really difficult announcement. I mean, I'll be very clear
who'sting my own TV show is something I wanted to
do since fifth grade. And it's so much cooler than
I ever dreamt it would be. Because you think about
doing it, because you're like, that would be a fun
job and you'd have fun and you'd tell jokes, and
you'd hang out with cool people and you'd tell jokes
and they'd have fun, and you'd tell jokes, and you'd
be the guy in charge of writing all them cool jokes.

(03:43):
And you're like, wow, But it takes so long to
get one of these shows. Whether you're Colbert or Kimmel
or you're Jimmy Faloh, Greg Gutfelt, it doesn't really matter.
But the point is you take so much time to
in struggle and you know, so much writing and so
many soul crushing rejections, so many bad ideas that you
think are like this is the one.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
No, I'm telling you, Jenny.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
After I get done pitching this idea, the limos pull
it up. Well, yeah, car pulled up all all right.
It was a taxi. So for me, I just I
can't imagine, although I know the day is coming. It's
how showbiz works. It's a very finite window for all
of us. It's got to be a real kick in

(04:25):
the nuts, you know, because the truth is when you're trying,
when you are trying to get to the top, you
really are helping yourself.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
How can I write better? How can I edit better?
You know?

Speaker 1 (04:36):
Do I need a network better? Do I need to
book more spots at this club? Do I need to
be on the road a little bit more? What's up
with social media? It is such a self absorbed profession.
The most liberating thing about making it like you got
your own show, like understand from me. I started out
handing out flyers in Tom Square on forty six in Broadway,
right next to the old Howard Johnson's, which I believe

(04:58):
if you go in there now, it's a meth land.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
I believe it's a meth laborer whorehouse. I'm not sure.
The city's not in good shape these days.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
But the point is I started out handing out comedy
flyers on a street corner. And on the day I
got my own TV show, I mean that whole month,
they put me up on the billboard, biggest billboard in
Times Square. It's called the Godzilla billboard, and it's the
biggest one in Time Square, on top of the same
street corner.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Where I started out handing flyers.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
I mean, Fox didn't know that, but that's still just
an incredible bookend to a journey that really took me
twenty years. But when you're sitting there on the street
corner you started out on and you're seeing your face
on a big giant billboard, the most liberating thing is
not that you did it, it's that you can now
help other people do it. Meaning you can put people
on that are gonna get more exposure and they're gonna

(05:44):
boost their appeal on the road and sell more tickets.
Maybe you can put people on and other bookers are
gonna see them and start using them on their show.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Like That's been one of the coolest things for me.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
It's like if you take people like a bring On
a Lineman or a Dave Landau, guys that go out
and do Gutfeld, Now, okay, they were found on our show,
just the same as plenty of people did Gutfeld a
lot and wound up on other Fox News shows like me. Okay,
a lot of the shows you see me on are
booking me because they saw me on Greg's show. And
I can tell you this, the coolest thing about getting
one of these shows is the ability to help someone

(06:14):
else recognize their own dream, their own reckless pursuit in
show business. Which is why I'm telling you the way
forward for comedy. Whether you're Kimmel, whether you're Colbert, whether
you're Jimmy Fallon or Steph Myers or Seth Mauer, I.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Don't whatever the hell he's doing over there.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
After Fallon gets done tap dance and I like Jimmy Fallon,
It's been very supportive of me.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Behind the scenes.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
But the coolest thing you can do with one of
these shows is not get yourself famous and buy a
bunch of speed boats, or help your friends get famous
so they can buy a bunch of speed boats. The
coolest thing you can actually do, specifically with a late
night comedy show is you can help America. Like I
was raised on America, you rooted for the country. Ronald

(06:56):
Reagan was the president. Late night comedy was common culture
and what that meant as people had an hour a
night to put their political differences aside and just laugh
at wacky headlines, things that went on today.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
Little skits.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Here's a little inside joke in Hollywood, and look, everybody's
chainsmoking on the set of the Tonight Show.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
It was escapism.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
And what happened in the post Trump world of late
night is they became activists masquerading as comedians. And the
issue wasn't that they were constantly dunking on one side
of the aisle. Everybody tells you like, oh god, too political,
got too woke, and you could say that, but if
you don't understand comedy, okay, then you don't get the

(07:38):
bigger problem. The bigger problem is when you start taking
yourself seriously as a comedian, you start defeating the point
of people hanging out with you, which is that they
don't have to take life seriously because they are in
the presence of a clown.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
That's the point of a comedian.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
You don't have to care anymore because this guy here, okay.
And I say that because when it comes to somebody
like Colbert, that was the ultimate era. It's not that
he was, Oh, don't get on Republicans. Listen, if you
watch my show on Greg Show, we definitely make fun
of more Democrats than Republicans. I mean, Greg is, you know,
largely largely Republican. It's almost a rally most nights, but

(08:20):
a funny one, you know, they do good things, and
you know, Trump tweets lots of nice things about him
just the same, and I'm sure that's just wonderful. But
the point is, we definitely shoot at the targets that
are the richest ones. If we're taking more shots at Democrats,
do you want to know why. It's not because Gutfeldt's
trying to get Republicans elected. It's because the Democrats elected
a man who had dementia. Okay, the Democrats told us

(08:44):
that men could have babies. Okay, the Democrats told us
Kamala Harris was sober enough to run the country.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yes, we're gonna go where the targets are.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
If you watch Fox New Saturday night, you get to
see a lot of commentary on Trump.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Tomorrow, you're going to see it last week. You got
to see it the week before.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Because the guy's in power, he makes news, So you
kind of go where the targets are. But what Colbert
did is obviously the Democrats were off limits. Like he
tells you, Donald Trump is a threat to democracy, an
existential threat for challenging the results of an election. I'm
going to go out on a limb, okay and tell
you that Donald Trump is not the first guy to

(09:24):
question the results of an election. How many times have
I played you this montage?

Speaker 4 (09:28):
As I've been telling candidates who have come to see me,
you can run the best campaign, you can even become
the nominee, and you can have the election stolen from you.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Now, did Colbert ever go out and call her a
threat to democracy?

Speaker 2 (09:45):
Answer would be no, because it was activism.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Masquerading is comedy, and the activism came with so much hypocrisy. Okay,
Colbert likes criticizing and talking about Democrats with his audience
as much as Hillary likes talking about cigars with her husband. Okay,
it's not gonna happen. It's not what they do. And again,
you could still forgive that if they're catering to a
niche audience, and the niche audience likes that. It's a

(10:10):
bunch of self hating white people on the Upper West Side,
it's a bunch of self hating white people inside the
DC Beltway and everybody out in Park Slope, Brooklyn.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
You know, I get it.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
I get that that can be your niche and you
could still make it your niche, and you could still.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
Succeed if you act like a comedian.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Once you attach that level of self importance to yourself,
you start to alienate that vibe that brings people together
and you make them feel not like they're in the
presence of a good time that's a complete free for all,
but they're in the presence of a partisan lecture. And
before you think I'm just pulling this out of my butt,
here's Stephen Colbert. Tell me if it sounds like he

(10:49):
has a little bit of an agenda here talking clip three.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
One of the old saws is they just want somebody
they can have a beer with.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
So would you like to have a beer with me?
So I can tell people what that's like. Okay, Oh, Kamala,
Now we asked ahead.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
Of time, because I can't just be given a drink
to the vice president.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
I had says ask me, you asked.

Speaker 5 (11:08):
For Miller highlight.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
I'm just curious. Okay, the last time I had beer
was at a baseball game with Dougs.

Speaker 5 (11:21):
There you go, ooh, that's like the beautiful city of Milwaukee.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
That Woody Woodpecker laughed. Kamala is awful with her weird.

Speaker 1 (11:38):
Laugh campaigning for Kamala. Listen to this one. This is
fantastic stuff.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Right here. Clip four. He's talking to doctor Fauci. Nice
to see again, doctor who.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
To be withness for always, always a pleasure, always a
pleasure to have you on.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
I gotta say, you are a spry eighty three years old.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Have you.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Have you thought about running for president? No? No, no,
it's just whatsoever.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Oh my god, that's so embarrassing. He's saying Anthony Fauci
should run for president.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
He should be behind bars.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
Guys, Anthony Fauci got a criminal pardon for the things
he did at the top of our health system. But
that's what I mean by Colbert. Do you know who
his last guest was yesterday? It was Adam Schiff. Adam
Schiff was the guest on the show. The last two
guests he had on Adam Schiff and Elizabeth Warren.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
Think about that. One guy's getting in trouble.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
For fraud on the mortgage for his house and the
girls in charge for fraud with a tp okay. The
point is all he could do was champion democratic causes,
and you could pull that off if you're funny doing it.
And I don't doubt somebody found him funny doing it
because the guy was on TV ten years, made one
hundred million dollars. But he really did take himself too seriously.

(12:56):
And the same thing happened obviously with Kimmel. We've talked
about that great length. I always tell you, Jimmy Kimmel
is a reverse stripper. What does that mean? Kimmel cried
after Trump won the election. Think about that. He cried
on TV when Trump won the election. As a comedian,
you have one job, which is to bring people joy, happiness, escapism,
lighten the mood. Kimmel did the opposite of that job.

(13:20):
It's a reverse strip Look. Imagine you went to a
strip club and every time they played another song, she
put on another layer of clothing.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
You'd be like, what the hell's going on here?

Speaker 1 (13:27):
But that's why he was the first guy to issue
his condolences to Stephen Colbert. Okay, there is this brazen
lack of self awareness amongst comics who take themselves seriously,
which is how Colbert wound up starring in the infamous
vaccine video.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
And I'm sure you've seen it all over Twitter today.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
But when Donald Trump was making the vaccine operation warp
speed in the summer of twenty twenty, Stephen Colbert was
running sketches for vax A lax which was gonna make
you get by even though the big pharmaceutical companies were
going to force a vaccine on you that wasn't tested
and you were worried about dying as long as they
made their money. Okay. After spending the run up to

(14:09):
the twenty twenty election telling you that Trump and the
pharmaceuticals were going to kill you with the vaccine, he
then about faced with Biden in office and the vaccine
mandate coming down the pipe and recorded a song. It
was the song Tequila by War. Okay, shilling for what
the vaccine. Here's a snippet clip seven vaccine, vaccine is

(14:49):
what he said. And I truly believe, Okay, I really
mean this after watching that video, I really believe Jeffrey
Epstein hung himself.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
I think he was sitting in a cell he saw
that video and he was like, you know what, enough
is enough already?

Speaker 1 (15:08):
But again and again and again, as somebody who cares
about late night, as somebody who took twenty years to
get his hands on his own little tiny show here
on the Fox News Channel, I am telling you because
I care when you get the professors out of comedy.
It's a win no matter who you're voting for. Today
is a day to rejoice. I don't want to see
anybody get fired. I really it means. I mean, listen,

(15:30):
consolation prize. The guy has like one hundred million dollars
in the bank, and I'm selling pictures of my wife's
feet on OnlyFans to pay the bills. I mean, don't
get me wrong, they're my feet. I just use her
picture because it brings in more money. But the point
is when you get rid of the lecturers who divide
the country instead of bringing them together with comedy, it
is addition by subtraction. There it is Fox across America

(15:52):
with Jimmy Paylap, your radio buddy, going to become your
TV buddy tomorrow. We got a hot one. Carly Shimkiss
is coming by to talk about that Hold Play concert.
The couple is like hugging along on the kiss cam
and then they you know, they do the old slam
the laptop shut. You know, if you ever walked in
a room where someone immediately slams the laptop shot so

(16:12):
violently you think he broke the screen. You know, nothing
says a goat was down in Tijuana like a laptop
slamming with the velocity of a Randy Johnson fastball. Carl
Shimpkiss is coming by the talk about that story, and
we're gonna be getting into a mob Rules segment tomorrow night.
Julie Vanderis and Aaron Berg are gonna be talking about
Trump's threat to rescind the citizenship of a woman by

(16:37):
the name of Rosie O'Donnell.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
She's wors san Kamala. A lot of people feel that way.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Comedian Ryan Reese is gonna be there as well, talking
about the sexiest accents in the world, a lot of
good comics. We'll obviously going to get into the the
Colbert stuff and I'm gonna spend a minute on that
when we come back, because there's one other Colonel of
wisdom that I need to impart. And then we're gonna
share some fantastic news about the economy huming out of
the White House.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
And I gotta tell you, as a guy who grew
up driving a.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
Taxi, I talk about it, you know, endlessly, mostly because
I'm just trying to inspire somebody out there who feels
like they're trapped in life that hey, man, if I
could keep going, you can keep going. We can all
get where we need to be. I mean, that's the
whole point of living in America. But when I get
good economic news, it means a lot to me because
I think of all of those broke Jimmy flies out
there and the good news for this country as we

(17:24):
are on an upswing under Biden. My God, like the
country was so broke, the Statue of Liberty was selling
feet picks on OnlyFans. But I think we're headed to
a better day. I'm going to play the sound to
prove it when we come back.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
Hallelujah.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Good economic news for everybody on Fox across America.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
Oh hot, damn.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Jimmy promised you some good economic news before we went
to break, and Jimmy is not only going to give
you the good economic news, but he's going to continue
to talk about himself in the third person. I think
we're doing a Ricky Henderson hour on Fox across America
right now. Ricky Henderson was played for the Yankees and
the Mets and the Oakland Day's. I mean, he actually
played for everybody. By the time it was over, it
was a blue Jay. He was an Indian. He was

(18:07):
a padre. I believe he was a Tampa Bay ray.
I mean he did it all, okay, And a shout
out to Ricky Henderson's greatest leadoff hitter of all time.
Ricky Henderson loved to talk about himself in the third person.
And what's really funny if you've never heard the story,
is the Yankees had a pitcher by the name of
Tommy John. He is the guy who inspired what we
now know to be Tommy John surgery.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
In any event, when.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
Tommy John pitched, because he was religious and some of
the Yankee supporters were religious, they would hold up the
sign behind home plate with the Bible verse. They would
just hold up it would say John three sixteen, okay.
And that was at every Tommy John start in Yankee Stadium.
At least five or six people would be holding that
up and you'd see it on TV. Well. Anyway, one day,

(18:50):
at Ricky Henderson's locker after a game, they a reporter
asked him from the Daily News, what do you think
of all these John three sixteen signs they hold up
behind home plate? And Ricky goes, I don't want to
hear about no John hitting three sixteen. Ricky hitting three thirty,
so funny. He's just such a character. He was completely
out the lud Man. I don't want to hear about No.

(19:11):
Three sixteen Ricky hitting three thirty. It's amazing. I loved
Ricky Anderson. He was my favorite player growing up on
the eighties Yankees, with Matting Lee and Dave Winfield and
Pascual Perez and all those guys.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
Mike Pagliarulo shout out the packs.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
But the point is good news on the economy matters,
because if you are going to go root for the
Yankees or any other Pro Bowl team, you're probably gonna
pay about twenty two dollars for a beer. Now that
might not sound affordable today, but if we can keep
on this track, it will. Here's Caroline Levit at the
White House clip eight.

Speaker 6 (19:39):
The American dream is back, and everyday families are already
reaping the benefits of this incredible economic turnaround. In just
six months, President johnp has ended the era of economic
surrender and implemented powerful tariffs to stand up for our
workers and businesses and rebalance America's trading agreements. All of

(20:00):
the doom casting from the so called experts claiming that
these tariffs would be the end of the world as
we know. It's the opposite has occurred. Tariffs are not inflationary,
as President Trump has said all along. In reality, tariffs
are a source of massive revenue.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Now you might say to me, hey, Jimbo, that sounds
great and all, but it's just a prepared statement from
the White House Press secretary. They're trained to get out
there and tell you things are going well under this president.
But the data is actually what supports it. So they've
brought in two hundred billion dollars in tariffs right now,
and as it pertains to the job creation, ninety seven
percent of it has been for American born labor. Foreign

(20:39):
born labor down five hundred and forty six thousand jobs
since Trump got into office, So you understand it is
a win domestically when they're trying to bring back manufacturing jobs,
when they're lowering inflation.

Speaker 2 (20:52):
The only thing they have a load is the interest rate.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
And it really has become just a petty Real Housewives
back and forth between Trump and Jerome and Powell, who
you know he keeps tweeting is too laid and keeps
screwing us over and he is screwing us over. The
economic indicators are there, but I don't know what the
motivation is. I just know that once those interest rates
come down, look out world, because everything else is already

(21:16):
cheaper to begin with. But when you talk about making
the American dream accessible, nothing hurts it more than rising
interest rates. Something I would tell you really quickly is
I own my house on a refinance. I believe we
pay like three point seventy five percent, which is unheard of. Okay,
under Biden the interest rates went all the way up

(21:37):
to nine percent. By me, do you understand nine percent
on a mortgage is thousands and thousands of dollars When
you buy a house in New York that I'm talking
like where I live, an entry level house by me.
That's gonna sound crazy around the country. People by me
by like fixer uppers for like eight or nine hundred
thousand dollars. I'm talking like you couldn't move in it's
nine hundred thousand dollars. You have work to do. That's

(22:00):
New York, that's San Francisco. So you understand when you
tack on five or six points on the interest rate,
you've got to be turning tricks in the shed. Just
to make ends meet, and Jenny Is use the code
word fox across America. You get fifty percent off on
the weekend. I kid stop it. But when you hear
that interest rates got as high as they did, you

(22:20):
realize so many people like me who bought a house.
I only bought my house, and I was like, what
am I forty eight? I bought it when I was
like forty one. I wouldn't own it to this day
if the interest rates were that high. So I can't
sit here and express any level of satisfaction knowing how
many people are being denied the joy and the purchase,

(22:40):
the buy in that you get to society when you
own a piece of it. Okay, when you own something,
you can invest in your community, like I would tell
you this where Lincoln was predominantly raised. From the time
he was about six months old till he was about
nine years old. We lived at a rental house, and
everybody in the block was really friendly. We talked to
them all the time, but we never like hung out,
iver like had them over, because we didn't know we'd

(23:03):
be there for long, so we weren't really like invested
in the block. You'd see everybody when we walked our
golden retriever, Bailey. But we weren't holding like Wednesday night
card games. You weren't like a member, you know, an
invested member in the community. And some of that I
had to do with my schedule and me running around
being a comedian. But now where I live now got
my neighbors have drank more booze in my backyard than

(23:23):
I have. I told you I have two dirtbag buddies
that work on the Howard Ster Show. They're delightful people,
but if they come over like they're moving in, they're
not coming by to like listen to a few gems
and watch Jimmy Tel's showbiz stories, Like I don't even
need to be there, they're just coming by. And I
can tell you, as crazy as that gets, it's still
funny to me because now I feel like a bigger
part of the community, and I want to believe that

(23:46):
the White House understands the need to give other people
that feeling. So the emphasis on interest rates and the
push they're making is a It's a good thing and
it's a necessary thing, and to me, I consider it
to be the biggest deliverable in the next two or
three years the Trump administration. Okay, outside of that, probably,
all things considered, the border will be the number one

(24:08):
driving force of this economy, just because it changes the
landscape in terms of revenue, supply and demand for the
American worker. The fact that there's now less fentanyl on
the streets, the fact that they're not backing off the
throttle when it comes to Tom Holman and the ICE deportations. Okay,
they know right is might, and yeah, there are paid
protesters attacking ICE agents and it's horrific.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
And we had an explosion.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
Earlier in Los Angeles where being told that was accidental
from what we know, we're certainly keeping those people in mind.
But the reality is, most Americans get that the compass
was broken. Most Americans get that we were fighting the
wrong battles. We shouldn't have been telling men that they're
toxic and they should think about having babies. Men can
have babies, guys, if they can, where does.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
It come out of?

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Out of curiosity? There's no good option having abut baby?
Are you having a ween baby? I don't know where
this thing's coming out of. Uh, but none of it
sounds pleasant to me. But the Democrats became a party
of pretend. Okay, and it's one of the reasons why
you won't hear people lamenting the loss of Stephen Colbert show.
Stephen Colbert was pretending Trump is hitler. Stephen Colbert was

(25:19):
pretending like democracy was on the ballot. But Stephen Colbert
was trying to get Kamala Harris elected, a woman who
was installed basically via a soft coup by the donors. Okay,
Joe Biden won a primary, got fourteen million votes. When
they decided you have to come off the ticket. They
didn't give the voters any say there was no democracy.

(25:40):
They're like, nah, the donors want go, just go with Kamala.
We can't really fire a black lady in the age
of identity politics, so we're gonna tell the whole country
everybody's racist. We can't really fire the black lady. But boss,
she's day drunk. She can't complete a sentence without breaking
into a laughing spasm for no reason.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
Shut up racist. She's the nominee. And that's how it worked.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
And that's why most objective observers of Colbert will watch
him and go ae, this guy's not really not really
trying to tie this thing together. He's uh, really just
ostracizing anybody who doesn't agree with him, and the problem
became even if you agreed with him, it's still hard

(26:21):
to laugh at most of the things they said. And
when you look at the people sticking up for him,
like Chris Hayes. You know Chris Hayes from MSNBC. He
looks like a fat seven year old. He always looked
young on the air, but he went through I think
he's trying to prove men can get pregnant now he's
very doey, very and again I say that is the
only TV host who's not on ozembic. Okay, I look

(26:42):
like a before model in most diet ads that you
see on TV. That being said, Chris Hayes actually has
like the veneer of a fats, like a really fat
seven year old who'd be bad on roller skates, like
you know the kids who run on roll it. He'd
totally be that kid, although he doesn't look like a
running that being said Chris heay his tweets that the
whole mark of a good democracy is whether or not

(27:03):
comedians can make fun of the president in power. Guys,
are you gonna tell me with a straight face that
comedians haven't been able to make fun of Donald Trump.
Donald Trump came down the escalator in June of twenty fifteen.
I don't think Jimmy fallon Jimmy Kimmel or Stephen Colbert
or Seth Myers, if you put him under the comedian umbrella.
I don't think they've told a joke about anything but

(27:26):
Donald Trump since he came down that escalator in June
of twenty fifteen. And that's my favorite thing about it
is when everybody says this is like fascism. You know,
this is a dictator, this is a strong man. The
idea that Trump is a fascist who's gonna use the
government to kill off the opposition, stifle free speech, and

(27:50):
ban elections.

Speaker 2 (27:52):
Okay, that's who Trump is.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
He's gonna ban elections, he's gonna ban critical speech, he's
gonna jail his opponents.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Nevermind that they try to jail him and did.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
Okay, but the idea that that's who Trump is a fascist,
And like all fascists, he waited until he had won
an election, lost an election, then ran for another election,
got into power. But he's still not doing the fascist
thing yet. He's waiting. He's building up, he's working long

(28:23):
cod that's what they want you to believe. And it's
so embarrassing because it is pretend stuff what the Democrats did.
And this is the problem for Kimmel, it's a problem
for Colbert, it's a promise for Seth Myers. Okay, what
the Democrats did wrong, and this really matters, is it
was so important to them to beat Trump that they

(28:44):
manufactured a hysteria like Trump would have lost in twenty
sixteen if they would have reported on him fairly. Okay,
when he came down the escalator, we agreed with a lot.
He said, Yes, Washington's selling us out. They suck, We're
in massive debt, the border's wide open, We've got too
much crime. Why the hell are we paying so much
in taxes? We loved it, But when he came down

(29:06):
that escalator, we were actually at the peak of people
getting fired for saying the wrong thing, and there was
a societal appetite to let people get fired for saying
the wrong thing because we didn't want to get fired
for agreeing with it. When canceled culture was new, it
was powerful because we didn't understand what was behind it.

Speaker 2 (29:24):
Social media was like.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
A half hour old, and every time you opened it up,
somebody else was getting fired for doing something at a
show you weren't even at, or someone got in a
disagreement at a grocery store checkout line. You like, how
do you talk to somebody like that, find out her name,
get me her employer. I'm gonna get her fired, and
you're gonna click like and that's what the world to become.
And if they had reported on Trump honestly, he said
a lot of crass, pugnacious things out of the gate,

(29:47):
and if they didn't lie about them, okay, some people
would have actually been like, yeah, we can't elect this.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
This is a mess. He slammed John McCain.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
He's like, my I like my heroes that don't get caught. Listen,
I don't know if you voted for John McCain. It
doesn't matter to me one way or the other. Okay,
But traditionally, you don't win the Republican nomination by slandering
a guy that was a pow You don't, I promise
you don't get the veterans support Trump does. But we're
living in a different world. And when the media started
to lie about Trump, like they said, oh, he called

(30:18):
all Mexicans drug dealers and rapists.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
He didn't. Okay, that's the point. He didn't.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
He said, Mexico, they're not sending their best. They're sending drugs,
They're sending crime. And the rest I assume are good people. Okay, again,
not ideal. I don't know that you'd pay a Beltway
insider to write you that type of speech. But when
the media ran right out and was like, wow, Trump
said all the Mexicans or drug dealers are rapists, a
lot of people were like, hey, wait a minute, what

(30:47):
if the media is pull on a fast one?

Speaker 2 (30:49):
And it went on. They said he slandered gold Star parents.
Do you remember all that? And people started to see
the Trump side of this.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
They went, whoa, what if the media that we've been
trusting back to the days of Walter Cronkite. What if
the media that sold us into the Iraq War on
the premise that they had weapons of mass destruction? What
if those people have been lying to us the whole time?

Speaker 2 (31:15):
Wah?

Speaker 1 (31:16):
And therein came the initial wave of support for Trump,
and it picked up after he won the election, and
the critical disdain for the media really manifested itself in
a lot of people who saw them try and manipulate
other things. Trump said, who could ever forget the fine
people on both sides?

Speaker 2 (31:34):
Hoax?

Speaker 1 (31:35):
They said, Trump said there were fine people on both sides.
I can't believe we live in America whether president would
not condemn neo Nazis and white nationalists in Charlottesville. And
you had people and I'm not talking about the neo
Nazis and the white nationalists because they should be condemned totally. Hey,
wait a minute, what do you mean the media told

(31:55):
me he said.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
It would just fine people.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
And yes, he went on to say they were fine
people on both sides, but he condemned explicitly the neo
Nazis and the white nationalists, and more people went, oh yeo, whoa, whoa, Wait.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
A minute, this media is really lying.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
And because they cheated their angles on a guy who
would have otherwise probably been beatable, Okay, they galvanized more
and more people to his calls. And that went on
with everything, the Russian collusion hoax, okay, the impeachment over
Joe Biden and Ukraine. By the way, Joe Biden pardoned
his whole family because of what they were doing in Ukraine.

(32:33):
But the Democrats impeached Trump for wanting to look into
what they were doing in Ukraine. Think about that, and
supposedly Trump was the bad guy. But again, people saw that,
people saw all of the post January sixth manipulation. People
saw that, people saw the indictments. We had never indicted
a president once in the two hundred and forty seven
year history of the country. That's how old we were

(32:54):
when Trump got raided at mar A Lago for classified documents.
And I'm going to go out on a limb and
say that Donald Trump not the first government official to
have classified documents.

Speaker 4 (33:05):
I'm Hillary Clinton and I approved this message.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
And the teachable moment here for the media, okay.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
Then, and certainly now, and certainly for late night comedy
is if you're gonna stake your whole entire plan for
victory on calling somebody a liar, you yourself can't be
full of.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
There it is.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
And I will tell you this because I care. Fox
across America with Jimmy Fallon. In the next hour, I'm
bringing by Danny POLISHUK Canadian comedian. You know, listen, we're
preparing him for the invasion. They're about to become our
fifty first state. He's got to know how things are
gonna work. Danny's coming by, and we're gonna have a
you know, yuck it up a little bit. With everything
going on in the media this week, the defunding of NPR, obviously,

(33:51):
all the Epstein conspiracies and everything in between. But what
we're really going to give you more than anything. I'm
not even gonna talk Cobert with him. I don't care.
I like my campaign promise you, I won't even bring
it up. I'll get it all out of my system
during the commercial break. I'll do everything I cannot to
let it spill into the show. Same goes for contract. Okay,
I gave you a big lecture in this hour about
how if you're in my position behind a radio microphone

(34:12):
on two hundred stations, in front of a TV camera
on Saturday nights, on the biggest channel in the world, Okay,
you really do have a unique opportunity to help people,
help them come together, help them take off the edge,
help them not take life so seriously. And that's what
we're going to do. So if you hear me get
into some Trump analysis that makes you want to punch
me in the face, get over it, okay, because believe me,

(34:33):
you're never gonna hate me as much as I hate myself.
Have you seen the things I wear on TV? And
the same goes with NPR junk and everything in between.
There's a million jokes we're about to tell you. Most
of them won't be appropriate, some of them you won't
agree with, but that's not the point of comedy. Comedy
is supposed to be treated like a buffet, okay. You know,
when you go to the buffet, if you see an
item you like, you grab the tongs, you throw it

(34:53):
on your tray.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
If you see an item you don't like, you don't
actually hold up the line and scream at the chef
and call them nazi. You just keep walking till you
see another item you like. You pick it up with
the tongs and you throw it on your tray. There's
no point to care. We all get our own tray.
That's the point of comedy. It is a buffet. Like it,
put it on the tray, don't like it, keep on walking, okay.

(35:15):
And this buffet analogy holds because when you get done
at the buffet, you do need to keep on walking.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
It's very important because you and my friend are a salty, fried,
fat slob like me. Okay, but Danny Polaschuck is coming
by in the next hour, not to stay an intervention
for my health and well being, but to focus on
issues that took center stage this week in the headlines
and have a little fun with them. So don't go anywhere.
We need all the ratings we can get when we
come back on Fox across America.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
This has been a podcast from wor
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