August 14, 2025 • 9 mins
Get ready to laugh until you cry with this episode of Phone Pranks from The Jubal Show! In this double-dose of absurdity:
Tune in to Phone Pranks weekday mornings on the 20s, only on 96.7 KISS FM!
- First, meet Donk, the self-proclaimed sweatology expert who’s ready to make you “ninja sweat” with his bizarre cardio-kinetic training. Vanessa thought she was signing up for a fitness session—turns out, she was signing up for a full-on comedy meltdown.
- Then, we dive into tuxedo terror with Juniper, the overly enthusiastic (and slightly creepy) wedding shop employee who’s been wearing the groom’s tuxedo for days... and may or may not have committed a crime of passion in it. Chris thought he was getting a dry-cleaned suit—he got a murder mystery instead.
Tune in to Phone Pranks weekday mornings on the 20s, only on 96.7 KISS FM!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
There's another into Bull phone Frank weekday mornings on the
twenties on.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hello, Yeah, it's Donk. I'm sorry, who is this dog?
I hope you're ready to get started.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Because like I no, I'm sorry, I think you have
the wrong number. I don't know who this is Vanessa.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
Yes, yeah, this is Dog calling from fitness. Well, my
real name is Paul Donkler, but my friends called me
Donk and you can call me Donk. But I'm a
trainer here and they just told me that I'm going
to be working with you.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
So what up?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Okay? Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yeah, I guess sorry I did.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
I didn't realize you ready to get in some good
sweatology with me.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
I don't really know the means, but yes, I'm ready
for the signed up.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
For Yeah, so We're gonna get after it, you know
what I mean. And I'm I'm gonna make you ninja
sweat like. That's one thing that I really focused on
a lot with my clients is making sure that they
get a ninja sweat in.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
What the hell is a ninja sweat?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I've never heard that, you know.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
It's like a thing I came up with for my
workout routines and the sweat oology that I do in
the cardio Kinetic department, And what that means is like
you're gonna be working Hella hard and Donk is going
to push you until you sweat like a ninja, you know,
because I'm sure like ninja's probably sweat a lot because
they're like moving around and stuff. So but I think
(01:41):
it sounds pretty cool. So we're gonna be making you
a ninja sweat. I hope you're ready for that.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Wait, I'm sorry you're Dunk or someone else's Donk that
I'm gonna.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Be working with.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I'm Donk.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Yeah, and I'm excited to like get in there and
crush it with you. You And like I just want
to call and I kind of asset your fitness levels,
you know, so I know how hard to push and
get that ninja sweat out.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Assess you? Okay, you know what? Never mind, I think
you're mispronouncing some things and I'm having trouble understanding you.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Let's get an ass in real quick, okay, Like you
know when it comes to cardio, you know what I mean?
Like would you say your cardio level is like Samurai
or you know, like a ducky oh my.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
God, no, this is not how you evaluate someone's fitness.
So like, I don't understand what this is, and so
I just want a different personal trainer. So thank you
for the call, but can you make sure that you
slap me out with someone else who works there.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Donk will make you ninjaswet.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
The other trainers, I can tell you they don't have
Donk's ninja sweat training cardio kinetic satology techniques.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
So lie perfect, I'd like to work with someone who
sounds like they have more than a second grade education,
someone who I can understand and knows actual fitness terms.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Okay, well you're like going to be charged for this
session anyway, so like I do what did you do?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
This is like considering.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
No, no, did you just say I'm being charged for
this phone call?
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Yeah, don't has to charge you for my sweatspertise that
I used in this phone call, and gratuity is accepted
on all training sessions.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
So like, if you want to throw me like a bone,
that'd be cool.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
If anything, you need to pay me for wasting my time,
this is absurd. I need to talk to someone else.
I'm going to cancel my subscription with this gym. I'm
going to find a completely different facility all because of
Donk and is freaking ninjas wedding.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Well, then I'll let you know that this is actually
a prank phone call. This is Jubil from the Jubil
Show doing a phone brank on you and your husband
set you up.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
No, no, okay, it's again.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Wait.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
He said that he just book some training sessions and
he was saying that you're gonna get hooked up with
a meathead, so he went to mess with you.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
No, no, wait, so Donk isn't real.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I mean, he's real in my mind, but like, I
don't think you're going to be getting a nindusweat in
with him.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Sorry, disappointing, Thanks God.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I was like, do I like to get a lawyer?
And s this person is crazy?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
We thought.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Every morning with a two bull phone pranks weekday mornings
on the twenties is another two bull phone.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Pranks weekday mornings on the twenties.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Only on ninety six to seven, Kiss that them.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Hello, is this the Lucky Groom? Chris?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Hi, Chris, my name is Juniper and I'm calling from
and I was calling in regards to your wedding tuxedo.
That you're having altered here at our shop.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, yes, is it? Is it ready to go?
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yes, that's why I'm calling you, and I'm very excited
for your big day. Nuptials are always very exciting, sort
of the beginning of a new life and the death
of an old one. I love it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Anyway, regarding the god to go or regarding your tuxedo,
unfortunately it is not quite ready to deliver to you.
We're going to need another day. We just have to
send it out to be dry cleaned, and it'll be
done by the end of the day and then tomorrow
you can come pick it up and put it on
your body whenever you want.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
You're sending my duck to the dry cleaner.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
But yes, well, it needs to have some stay cleaned
off of it before we can give it to you.
Have alls removed and any sort of fibers and things
like that that weren't on it when you brought it
in taken off so that it can be completely clean
for you.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
You stained my suit.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Oh well, maybe you don't know the whole process. But
when we start to alter a suit, and especially one
of this importancy wedding tuxedo, oftentimes we need to make
sure the material is broken in. And so I've been
wearing the tuxedo for about four days nowa day and night.
What just wearing it?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Even wearing it.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yes, we're not the same measurements, but we didn't change
it to fit my body. I just pretended to be
you and your body. And I've been wearing the tuxedo
for a few days in order to break in the materials,
but unfortunately there ended up being an issue and getting
a slight stain on it. We just want to be
able to make sure that the tuxedo moves the way
(07:05):
it should and late at night in the dar making
making sure the evidence is completely gone. What of the
unfortunate incident that happened in your tuxedo?
Speaker 5 (07:20):
As all, you're you're wearing my tuxedo and you've got
an unfortunate accident on my tuxedo. Yes, what are you talking?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
What did you what were you doing?
Speaker 1 (07:29):
There was an accident and just a big stain on
the shoes of the tuxedo. I'd rather not get into
the frightening details of the accident, but just know that
it'll be all completely cleaned for you when you pick
it up. There will be no fibers or anything like that.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
It sounds like you've murdered someone in my suit. Why
are why are there in general?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
During I don't know why you would think I would
commit a crime of passion in your tuxedo suit late
at night at an alley. I don't know why you
would think.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
That a crime of passion.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
In the alley at night, Yes, while wearing Yes, if
that happened, it would be all the evidence.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Of that'll be gone.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
I didn't say anything about an alley. I didn't say
anything about a crime.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I didn't say anything about anything.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
I said wear my top. Sounds like you murdered somebody
in my tuxedo.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Oh no, that didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
What did you do? Well?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I I littered pretty bad. Unfortunately, that caught that. That
caused a stain.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
You left something in the alley, that left the stain
on my tuxedo in an alley.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yes, that's murder. You just murdered somebody.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Oh oh no. I was drinking grape juice, and I
love grape juice. I'm very passionate about it. I spilled
it on the front of the tuxedo and then I
dropped the Carton in the alley and ran.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
I need to talk to your manager.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
This is so out of control right now.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
What the is happened?
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Well, then I'll let you know that it's a prank
phone called This is actually Jubil from the Jubil Show
doing a phone prank on you.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
And your fiance. Set you up. It's a joke.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
She said that you have your tuxedo being altered for
the wedding and she wanted to.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Mess with you.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
I straight up thought I was talking to somebody who murdered.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
We thought that every morning with a Jubol phone pranks weekday
mornings on that twenties
There's another into Bull phone Frank weekday mornings on the
twenties on.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hello, Yeah, it's Donk. I'm sorry, who is this dog?
I hope you're ready to get started.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Because like I no, I'm sorry, I think you have
the wrong number. I don't know who this is Vanessa.
Speaker 4 (00:31):
Yes, yeah, this is Dog calling from fitness. Well, my
real name is Paul Donkler, but my friends called me
Donk and you can call me Donk. But I'm a
trainer here and they just told me that I'm going
to be working with you.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
So what up?
Speaker 4 (00:47):
Okay? Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Yeah, I guess sorry I did.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
I didn't realize you ready to get in some good
sweatology with me.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
I don't really know the means, but yes, I'm ready
for the signed up.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
For Yeah, so We're gonna get after it, you know
what I mean. And I'm I'm gonna make you ninja
sweat like. That's one thing that I really focused on
a lot with my clients is making sure that they
get a ninja sweat in.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
What the hell is a ninja sweat?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I've never heard that, you know.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
It's like a thing I came up with for my
workout routines and the sweat oology that I do in
the cardio Kinetic department, And what that means is like
you're gonna be working Hella hard and Donk is going
to push you until you sweat like a ninja, you know,
because I'm sure like ninja's probably sweat a lot because
they're like moving around and stuff. So but I think
(01:41):
it sounds pretty cool. So we're gonna be making you
a ninja sweat. I hope you're ready for that.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Wait, I'm sorry you're Dunk or someone else's Donk that
I'm gonna.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Be working with.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I'm Donk.
Speaker 4 (01:55):
Yeah, and I'm excited to like get in there and
crush it with you. You And like I just want
to call and I kind of asset your fitness levels,
you know, so I know how hard to push and
get that ninja sweat out.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Assess you? Okay, you know what? Never mind, I think
you're mispronouncing some things and I'm having trouble understanding you.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Let's get an ass in real quick, okay, Like you
know when it comes to cardio, you know what I mean?
Like would you say your cardio level is like Samurai
or you know, like a ducky oh my.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
God, no, this is not how you evaluate someone's fitness.
So like, I don't understand what this is, and so
I just want a different personal trainer. So thank you
for the call, but can you make sure that you
slap me out with someone else who works there.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Donk will make you ninjaswet.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
The other trainers, I can tell you they don't have
Donk's ninja sweat training cardio kinetic satology techniques.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
So lie perfect, I'd like to work with someone who
sounds like they have more than a second grade education,
someone who I can understand and knows actual fitness terms.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Okay, well you're like going to be charged for this
session anyway, so like I do what did you do?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
This is like considering.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
No, no, did you just say I'm being charged for
this phone call?
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Yeah, don't has to charge you for my sweatspertise that
I used in this phone call, and gratuity is accepted
on all training sessions.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
So like, if you want to throw me like a bone,
that'd be cool.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
If anything, you need to pay me for wasting my time,
this is absurd. I need to talk to someone else.
I'm going to cancel my subscription with this gym. I'm
going to find a completely different facility all because of
Donk and is freaking ninjas wedding.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Well, then I'll let you know that this is actually
a prank phone call. This is Jubil from the Jubil
Show doing a phone brank on you and your husband
set you up.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
No, no, okay, it's again.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Wait.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
He said that he just book some training sessions and
he was saying that you're gonna get hooked up with
a meathead, so he went to mess with you.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
No, no, wait, so Donk isn't real.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
I mean, he's real in my mind, but like, I
don't think you're going to be getting a nindusweat in
with him.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Sorry, disappointing, Thanks God.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I was like, do I like to get a lawyer?
And s this person is crazy?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
We thought.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Every morning with a two bull phone pranks weekday mornings
on the twenties is another two bull phone.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Pranks weekday mornings on the twenties.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Only on ninety six to seven, Kiss that them.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Hello, is this the Lucky Groom? Chris?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Hi, Chris, my name is Juniper and I'm calling from
and I was calling in regards to your wedding tuxedo.
That you're having altered here at our shop.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, yes, is it? Is it ready to go?
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Is it?
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yes, that's why I'm calling you, and I'm very excited
for your big day. Nuptials are always very exciting, sort
of the beginning of a new life and the death
of an old one. I love it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Anyway, regarding the god to go or regarding your tuxedo,
unfortunately it is not quite ready to deliver to you.
We're going to need another day. We just have to
send it out to be dry cleaned, and it'll be
done by the end of the day and then tomorrow
you can come pick it up and put it on
your body whenever you want.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
You're sending my duck to the dry cleaner.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
But yes, well, it needs to have some stay cleaned
off of it before we can give it to you.
Have alls removed and any sort of fibers and things
like that that weren't on it when you brought it
in taken off so that it can be completely clean
for you.
Speaker 5 (06:18):
You stained my suit.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Oh well, maybe you don't know the whole process. But
when we start to alter a suit, and especially one
of this importancy wedding tuxedo, oftentimes we need to make
sure the material is broken in. And so I've been
wearing the tuxedo for about four days nowa day and night.
What just wearing it?
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Even wearing it.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yes, we're not the same measurements, but we didn't change
it to fit my body. I just pretended to be
you and your body. And I've been wearing the tuxedo
for a few days in order to break in the materials,
but unfortunately there ended up being an issue and getting
a slight stain on it. We just want to be
able to make sure that the tuxedo moves the way
(07:05):
it should and late at night in the dar making
making sure the evidence is completely gone. What of the
unfortunate incident that happened in your tuxedo?
Speaker 5 (07:20):
As all, you're you're wearing my tuxedo and you've got
an unfortunate accident on my tuxedo. Yes, what are you talking?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
What did you what were you doing?
Speaker 1 (07:29):
There was an accident and just a big stain on
the shoes of the tuxedo. I'd rather not get into
the frightening details of the accident, but just know that
it'll be all completely cleaned for you when you pick
it up. There will be no fibers or anything like that.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
It sounds like you've murdered someone in my suit. Why
are why are there in general?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
During I don't know why you would think I would
commit a crime of passion in your tuxedo suit late
at night at an alley. I don't know why you
would think.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
That a crime of passion.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
In the alley at night, Yes, while wearing Yes, if
that happened, it would be all the evidence.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Of that'll be gone.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
I didn't say anything about an alley. I didn't say
anything about a crime.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
I didn't say anything about anything.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
I said wear my top. Sounds like you murdered somebody
in my tuxedo.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Oh no, that didn't happen.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
What did you do? Well?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I I littered pretty bad. Unfortunately, that caught that. That
caused a stain.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
You left something in the alley, that left the stain
on my tuxedo in an alley.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Yes, that's murder. You just murdered somebody.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Oh oh no. I was drinking grape juice, and I
love grape juice. I'm very passionate about it. I spilled
it on the front of the tuxedo and then I
dropped the Carton in the alley and ran.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
I need to talk to your manager.
Speaker 5 (09:04):
This is so out of control right now.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
What the is happened?
Speaker 4 (09:08):
Well, then I'll let you know that it's a prank
phone called This is actually Jubil from the Jubil Show
doing a phone prank on you.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
And your fiance. Set you up. It's a joke.
Speaker 4 (09:20):
She said that you have your tuxedo being altered for
the wedding and she wanted to.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Mess with you.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
I straight up thought I was talking to somebody who murdered.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
We thought that every morning with a Jubol phone pranks weekday
mornings on that twenties
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