Kasie Marek; Dr. Nick Zyrowski; Carmelia Ray; Alexa Rose Carlin

None

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
The following is a paid podcast.iHeartRadio's hosting of this podcast constitutes neither an
endorsement of the products offered or theideas expressed. Welcome to a Moment of
Zen. Time to sit back andrelax. As model, actress, mentor
and supermom Zen Sam's takes you ona sexy and wild ride, covering the

(00:20):
latest in film, fashion, popculture, cryptocurrency, fintech, cannabis,
and entertainment from the millennial mom's perspective. Here's your host, Zen Sam's.
Hello, my beautiful Tristate area.Welcome to our one hundred and eighth episode,
two and a half years on theair and still going very strong.
It's always such a pleasure to spendmy time with you on the airwaves.

(00:42):
Thank you so much for listening andinteracting with me on social media. That
truly does make it all worthwhile.Please make sure to follow me at Zen
Sam's That's Zen with an X nota Z, and also remember that we're
now live on Traverse TV Sundays atone pm Eastern, Fintech TV Wednesdays at
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(01:03):
are now streaming. Twenty four sevenon Kathy Ireland's your Home TV. That's
free programming and you can always findus on our YouTube channel at zen Sam's.
We have a great show lined upfor you today, very exciting stuff.
In our Disability Awareness segment brought toyou by Ogpa dot Com, Today,
we're featuring the awesome Casey Marek,two time childhood cancer survivor and medical

(01:29):
Mama to Heart warrior Baby Noah.She's embracing life life's lemons, so to
speak. She goes by the handleat Laughing after Lemons on social media and
is the founder of Laughing after Lemonsdot com and kh kids dot Org.
Today we're chatting about what to dowhen life hands you lemons, Disability awareness,

(01:49):
Baby Noah's secondly song Life and theimportance of organ donation. Organ donors
Life's real angels. Now. Inour Healthy Minutes segment brought to you by
Caldwell Solmes, We're gonna be featuringthe awesome doctor Nicholas Zerovski, chief Science
Officer at New Vision Health Center,doctor and clinician helping you transform your health

(02:12):
naturally. He's the founder of drzdot tv, chatting all about the super
foods you should be eating hacks tokeep your liver healthy even when drinking alcohol,
and does intermittent fasting really work?Today? In our Metropolitan Lifestyle segment,
brought to you by Anamoca Brands,we're gonna be featuring the awesome Carmelia

(02:32):
Ray, celebrity matchmaker and life coach, chatting match Making three point zero,
how AI is revolutionizing online dating,and we'll also talk about how to ask
for what you want in bed andget it. In our Trailblazer segment,
brought to you by Nabby Travel,We're featuring the awesome Alexa Rose Carlin.

(02:53):
She's a keynote speaker, best sellingauthor, CEO of Women in Power X
and finally, she and her howwe are expecting twins this fall. We're
gonna chat all about what it reallymeans to have it all in twenty twenty
three, especially for US gals.Stay tuned for our disability Awareness segment featuring
the awesome at Casey Marrick two,childhood cancer survivor and medical mama. To

(03:15):
HeartWare, We're Baby Noah, You'relistening to a moment of zen right here
on seven ten, wore the voiceof New york iHeartRadio. We'll be right
back after this. A Moment ofZen is brought to you by Caldwell Solmes
Incorporated, investing globally and transformative businesseslike Original Digital Corporation or ODC. ODC
develops advanced consumer and commercial fintech solutionssuch as ogpay, which will transform the

(03:38):
way you manage your money from sendingor receiving money globally for free, paying
for goods and services in person andonline pay bills, buy and sell digital
currencies, all while earning interest.Ogpay is easy to set up, FDIC
ensured and your information is secured.Check out ogpay dot com. Welcome back,
beautiful Tristate area. You're listening toa moment of Zen right here on

(03:59):
seven two R the voice of NewYork iHeartRadio. I'm your host, Zen
Sam's coming up in our disability awarenesssegment brought to you by ogpay dot Com.
Today, we're featuring the amazing CaseyMarek, two time childhood cancer survivor
and medical mama to heart warrior babyNoah. She is embracing life's lemons,

(04:20):
so to speak. She goes bythe handle Laughing after lemons on social media
and is the founder of kh Kids, Inc. Today we're chatting about what
to do when life hands you lemons, disability awareness, baby Noah's secondly son
life, and the importance of organdonation, organ donors, Life's real angels.

(04:40):
Welcoming now to the show is theamazing Casey Marek. Welcome, my
beautiful friend. Hello, Hello,thank you so much for having me absolutely
so talk to me about what happenedto you specifically when you were fourteen years
old. Actually, I was twelvewhen I started having symptoms, and I
just had some very normal sort ofthings happening. I was, I had

(05:03):
some x ama in my arms,just these little signs, and then one
day I ended up waking up andhaving a big mass on my neck and
it's called a gloiter. So wewent into the doctor and had a biopsy,
and sure enough it came back suspiciousas cancer. The doctors kind of

(05:24):
told us, you know, youcan have surgery or you cannot. Like
the chances of you at this agehaving this type of cancer we have just
not ever seen it. So wewaited a few months until I ended up
having surgery, which ended up beingabout nine hours surgery to remove my thyroid
and the cancer had spread at thatpoint. And I was thirteen at this

(05:48):
point, and yeah, I hadI had cancer and ended up going through
treatments. And now that's a toughbattle. I just at the you know,
at the onset of puberty when you'regoing through all those hormonal changes,
and we all know that your thyroidis your internal clock, so that that
must have been really difficult. Nowfast forward two and two and twelve,

(06:09):
you established a nonprofit organization Casey HelpsKids k h Kids, and you began
helping children who were fighting cancer byproviding a simple gift of emotional support and
something very significant during their journey ateddy bear. Now, talk to me
about why a teddy bear. Yeah, so I was an isolation for treatments

(06:30):
because I had radioactive ident treatment,so I could not be around to anybody,
not even my parents and my dad. My dad and I have an
interesting relationship, but he left ateddy bear and it just provided so much
comfort, you know, when heor my mom could not be in the
room, I had the teddy bearwith me. And so I left the

(06:51):
hospital, you know, with thatsaying what can I do to help these
kids? And I ended up reachingout to a couple teddy bear comepies and
again. Back then, you know, we had aol emails and so I
found a company that they sent meover five hundred Teddy Bears, and that

(07:11):
was kind of the start of everything. So it's so interesting because I,
at nineteen, had the exact samecancer you did, a third cancer,
Graves disease. I underwent radioactive ninetreatment. I lost my eyelashes, my
eyebrows. It was at the heightof my modeling career. And then because
half my thiry was radiated, mychances of having a child, even from
the amount of radiation I ingested,I was told I couldn't. But that's

(07:35):
not why we're here today. That'smy story. Today. We're here for
your story. But it's interesting thatI had no idea this is overlapping,
and it's giving me chills because I'vebeen there now. The inspiration behind the
Teddy Bear, as you said,Casey Helps with the Z Kids is a
five one C three nonprofit organization,of course, with this mission aimed at
assisting kids and their families who,just like yourself, were affected by life

(07:58):
threatening illnesses. Fast forward two overa decade later, looking back, this
was just a small fragment of yourjourney, you say, one full of
many lemons. Hence your handle nowfrom adjusting to a new normal, so
to speak, after cancer, tofacing other health issues, to struggling with
anxiety and depression, to relationships,marriage, and a bump in the road

(08:20):
as Brandon and you start a family. What happens at your twenty three week
appointment while you are having an anatomyscan in your second trimester. Yeah,
so you know Brandon and I,we had actually had a couple pregnancies that
I miscarried. But as you mentioned, you know, the doctors say,
after especially at the age that wewere in, after thyroid cancer and the

(08:41):
radioactive iodine, your chances of gettingpregnant, especially without assistance, is slim
to none. So I had thatin the top of my mind, like
I'm probably not going to be ableto get pregnant and much less have a
baby. Then, after multiple miscarriages, I was kind of just waiting for
the shoe to drop. And whenI was pregnant with Noah, I was
being very closely watched until about fifteenweeks and I finally told the doctor,

(09:05):
I know this pregnancy is here tostay. Like I were good, we
can back off the appointments a littlebit, and then of course I go
to my twenty three week anatomy scan. I had it a couple weeks late,
and they told me that Noah hada heart condition, and essentially Noah's
left heart was not there, itdid not form, so he was not

(09:28):
viable for life, and we wereasked to terminate. You know, do
you want to terminate? You havea few more days to terminate in the
state of Texas. Of course ouranswer was no. But so at this
point you were given the heartbreaking optionto terminate the pregnancy, be sent home
on what they call comfort care afterhe's born, or if his case qualified,

(09:50):
put him through three open heart surgeriesthat could potentially prolong his life,
and your vision of welcoming your firstbaby at that point quickly changes. Now
he was diagnosed with hypoplastic left heartsyndrome HLHS, which is a birth defect
that affects normal blood flow through theheart and as the baby develops during pregnancy.

(10:11):
Like you just mentioned, the leftside of the heart does not form
correctly, and hypoplastic left heart syndromeis one type of congenital heart defect.
Now, coming full circle to Noahawaiting a heart transplant, walk me through
this waiting period. Yeah, sothis was not our journey, right,
our original journey Hypoplastic left heart istypically in a perfect scenario, it's three

(10:35):
surgeries and then eventually the child oradult hopefully at that point, will need
a heart transplant. Noah had hisfirst and second open heart surgery and he
was still in severe heart failure andhad a couple other anomalies. In last
year, we found out he wasno longer qualified for his third surgery,

(10:56):
which needed to be happen this summer, and that's when we listed him for
a transplant. And there's so muchabout organ it's such a complex organization and
just process. But you don't justbe you're not just listed as a one
status. You have to be inpatientto be on the top of the list,

(11:22):
and in order to be inpatient,you essentially have to be almost dying.
And the way in patient can beyou know, up to five six
months, and that's average for mostof these babies, so the death rate,
while you know, in pediatric cases, is relatively high. We were

(11:45):
listed as a status too because Noahwas well enough to be home. I
was able to manage his heart failureat home throughout this last year, and
then we went in patient on Februarysixteenth of this year to be listed as
A one A because Noah was gettingvery very ill. And we got the
call on March thirty first, andhe got his new heart on April first.

(12:09):
That is, Oh, I'm goingto cry. You're gonna make you
cry. So now, over onehundred thousand people in the US are awaiting
for an organ transplant, and unfortunately, many may never get the call saying
that a suitable donor organ and asecond chance that life has been found.
To your point, it's estimated thatevery day in the US, twenty patients
die because of the lack of donororgans. And it can be hard to

(12:33):
think about what's going to happen toour body after we die, let alone
donating our organs and tissue. Butwhat do you wish to tell people about
organ donation? You know, it'sI'm still processing everything. It's been so
much and so happy, even theday we got that call to think that
another sorry, I'm gonna grayhead,the other family is losing their child.

(12:56):
You know, we know that theonly heart that Noah could accept was a
baby. You're a child, andto know that a family is making such
a sacrifice so that Noah can canlive, you know, um, yeah,
how do you you know? Ijust I hope that and that they
have peace and that we are thatthis is truly the only way that Noah

(13:18):
can can live. Whether it's youknow, a few few more years,
but just to have that quality oflife. I really urge everyone to to
sign up, you know, tobe an organ donor. It's a priceless
yeah, I mean, the giftof life is priceless. And this is
proof baby no one now has asecond lease on life. I mean,
if you could go back and lookat where you're when they first gave you

(13:41):
the news, to where you arenow, and to all the ups and
downs and the hurdles and the bumpsin the road. But it's all worth
it because now he has a beating, brand new heart and he's going to
live a very healthy and full life. And that is not something that you
could have ever been able to predict. Thank you so much. You inspired
me, You made me cry,you made me laugh, you warmed my
heart. This is one of myfavorite interviews. You're amazing, and please

(14:03):
give a big hug and a bigkiss to Baby Noah because he is just
an angel. Thank you, thankyou so much for having me. It
was a pleasure. Absolutely. Thatwas our disability awareness segment brought to you
by ogpa dot com. And thatwas the incredible Casey Marek, two time
childhood cancer survivor and medical mama toheart warrior Baby Noah. She's embracing life's

(14:24):
lemons. You can check her outall over social media at Laughing after Lemons
and you can head directly to theirwebsite at Laughing after Lemons dot com.
You're listening to a moment of Zenright here on seven ten WI, the
voice of New york iHeartRadio. We'llbe right back after this. A Moment
of Zen is brought to you byCaldwell Solmes Incorporated, Investing globally and transformative

(14:46):
businesses like Original Digital Corporation or ODC. ODC develops advanced consumer and commercial fintech
solutions such as ogpa, which willtransform the way you manage your money.
From sending a receiving money globally forfree, paying for goods and services in
person and online pay bills, buyand sell digital currencies, all while earning
interest. Ogpay is easy to setup FDIC ensured and your information is secured.

(15:09):
Check out ogpay dot com. Welcomeback, beautiful Tristate area. You're
listening to a moment of Zen righthere on seven ten w R, the
voice of New York iHeartRadio. I'myour host, Zen. Sam's up next
in our Healthy Minutes segment brought toyou by Caldwell Solms. Today we're featuring
doctor Nicholas Zerowski, chief Science Officerat New Vision Health Center, doctor and

(15:31):
clinician helping you transform your health naturally. Today we're chatting about the superfoods you
should be eating, hacks to keepyour liver healthy even when drinking alcohol,
and does intermittent fasting really work?Now? Here's what you need to know.
Having a healthy liver is crucial inattaining a better quality of life.
The liver is vital to our body'sfunctioning. It performs more than five hundred

(15:54):
vital tasks at a time. Itincludes helping us break down fat, processing
toxins, and also secreting digestive juicesand enzymes. Liver health is a very
real thing, guys. Coupled withthe new fad of fasting, now,
apparently many things happen during intermittent fastingthat can protect organs against chronic diseases like

(16:15):
type two diabetes, heart disease,age related neurote degenerative disorders, inflammatory bowel
disease, and even many cancers.Here to break it all down for us
is the doctor himself, the gooddoctor himself, Doctor Nicholas Zerkowski. Welcome
to the show, my friend,Hey, thank you for having me today.
Absolutely so you promote that eating specificallyliver, eggs, broccoli, and

(16:37):
chocolate is very beneficial. Now onthe on the liver side, we found
out, of course through a lotof research, that liver is nature's most
concentrated source of vitamin A. Youknow, I know for a fact that
when I started giving it to mydaughter has a bit, there's an abundance
in B twelve and other you knowB vitamins plus iron and chaline, copper
and follic acid. The list goeson and on. It's a fantastic source

(17:00):
of magnesium and phosphorus. So I'ma big advocate of liver. But what
I don't know is what this meansfor our body. So talk to me
about the benefits directly. I mean, I know what the nutrients are,
it's also been shown to contain anot yet identified anti fatigue factor. But
I also want to know about eggs, broccoli, and chocolate. What's up

(17:21):
right, So when you look atall these different foods, they all have
their unique benefits. Now, specificallyliver, the one of the things that
is great about it is, asyou mentioned, it has a really robust
nutritional quality to it. Unfortunately,today many people find themselves eating foods that
have no nutritional quality at all.I mean, if you think of things
like white bread, if you thinkof things such as drinking a soda,

(17:41):
right, these in most cases arevery nutrient deficient foods. And in fact,
there's a lot of foods that youcan eat that are anti nutrients,
meaning that they don't really have anynutritional quality and they actually strip n nutrition
from your body. So when welook at all of these ones that you
just mentioned, I mean liver,eggs, I mean they're phenomenal because they

(18:02):
have robust nutritional qualities that are goingto support our bodies. And when we
get proper nutrition, things tend towork out right in our bodies. Right,
we have more energy, our brainworks better, we feel better,
we sleep better, and then ofcourse we also protect ourselves from future affliction
like disease. Right. There wasa study I read today by Harvard scientists

(18:23):
that said seventy five percent of cancersare preventable. Right, So if we
can look at a situation like that, seventy five percent of cancers are preventable,
well, how do we prevent them? Right? One of the ways
is actually getting the proper nutrition intoour diet. Now, you mentioned something
very interesting. Nowadays people are addledby I mean bad eating habits across the
board, sedentary existence, and unhealthylifestyle choice. Absolutely, this makes them

(18:48):
prone to many liver induced diseases likenon alcoholic fatty liver disease and AFLD in
large liver cirrhosis, liver cancer,possible hepatitis infections, and in extreme is
even liver failure. So to overcomethis, obviously we have to get regular
health checkups and look for possible symptomsand change our lifestyle. But what are
certain health hacks that we can useto optimize liver health? Talk to me

(19:14):
about the health right. So whenyou kind of look at the issue of
non alcoholic fatty liver disease, it'sa big problem and it's estimated an enormous
amount of people are struggling with this, despite the fact that you know they
don't have any liver issues that maybeare running in their family or anything else.
Well, it really comes down towhat you're eating. Right. If
you're eating excessive amounts of carbohydrates andthings such as hypose corn syrup and high

(19:34):
sugar foods, then essentially we developfatty organs, specifically fatty liver, and
so we have to make sure thatwe're avoiding things of that nature right,
getting exercise, in doing the rightthings. So in order to actually improve
our liver health, we start takingaway the foods that are bad. We
eat the healthy foods like the oneswe just mentioned. But the other thing
that we can do is we canactually look to supporting the natural detox mechanisms

(19:59):
of a liver. This is oneof the things that happens in all areas
of the body, doesn't matter ifit's your brain or your liver or anywhere.
Our bodies have natural detox mechanisms inthem. But through an inflammatory issue
in the body that becomes chronic andan unhealthy lifestyle, you find yourself in
a situation where these mechanisms break.And when they break this is where things
go sideways on us. Right,So what we can do is we can

(20:22):
use different nutrients in order to actuallysupport the different phases of liver detoxification.
Our liver literally has this amazing processto go in and attach you break down
these very harsh chemicals that we getexposed to and so that we can actually
excrete them from our body. Sowe can use even nutrients like vitamins like
milk thistle is incredibly powerful for liverhealth, anethetal cysteine, alphaloopolic acid.

(20:48):
Right, So we can use thesedifferent nutrients in order to support our liver
health. Combine that with a healthylifestyle and healthy eating, and then all
of a sudden we create the properand ironment for our liver to thrive.
And so these are some of thegood places to start. You know,
if we look at issues such asinsulin resistance today, it's estimated that upwards

(21:10):
of ninety percent of people who aresuffering from insulin resistance don't even know they
have it, essentially meaning that manypeople are walking around extra belly fat,
not feeling well, fatty liver,and they don't know that they have insulin
resistance or fatty liver for that matter, and then it's creating a lot of
symptoms like fatigue and not being ableto sleep. And so what we want

(21:33):
to do is we want to startjust moving towards a positive direction and then
we can start overcoming all these issues. But realize, if you have belly
fat on your body right now,and that you're eating an unhealthy diet,
you probably have some level of insulinresistance and fatty liver craziness, craziness.
It all ties in together. Butnow that you're breaking down like that,
that's absolutely the truth of it.Now, if say you're going to be

(21:55):
drinking, say you love wine andbeer and consume it frequently responsibly, of
course, what should we be doingto counterbalance the negative effects of alcohol.
Well, you know, I don'tthink anything in moderation is necessarily bad.
You know, whenever I talk abouthealth, I always talk about, you
know, being moderate in your approachbecause this is what allows us to have

(22:18):
long term sustainable health. So Idon't think that having small amounts is going
to be anything that's really negative.However, if you really want to just
work on counteracting that, then utilizingthe exact same things that we talked about
is going to be the most beneficialway. Put the nutrients in your body
that will help lower inflammation, thatwill support detoxification. Make sure that you're

(22:40):
always working to eating non inflammatory diet. And you know, this is a
great thing about natural health, right, many of the same things that are
going to help in one way willhelp in another. You're gonna have a
big pore over effect. Right.And so when you start implementing these different
health strategies that we're talking about,like, they're not only going to help
you overcome fatty liver, they'll alsohelp your liver stay healthy day in and

(23:03):
day out. So, for instance, I take a low level dose of
aniseedal cysteine every single day because itsupports liver detox. It's very inexpensive,
there's no reason anybody can't do that. You can easily take about, you
know, six hundred milligrams a dayof aniseedal cysteine and it constantly supports that
detox process. Okay, I lovethat. I love. What it's going

(23:26):
to do is it's going to supportglutathione in our body, which is the
most powerful antioxidant. Okay, Sonow eating more organic fruits and vegetables consuming
coffee. Of course, you knowthat this is an interesting one. Globally,
coffee is the most popular and widelydrunk beverage, but many people don't
even understand the health Benefit's a cupof coffee brings to the table for our
liver's health paraxanthine, right, andthat's the compound found and it can help

(23:48):
recover from scar tissue after a liverfibrosis diagnosis. In pure metrics and studies,
they were able to see almost loweringof liver disease by around seventy percent
of people who consumed straight up coffee. We're talking about, not adding you
know, creamers and sugars and likejust the actual which was interesting to me.
And of course these detox approaches likeyou just said, of course this

(24:11):
is all important. Now we haveabout four minutes left. Let's chat fasting.
When we say, what is intrimittand fasting? So many diets focus
on what to eat, but intrimittand fasting is all about when you eat.
So with intrimitt and fasting, ofcourse we only eat during a specific
time and research now shows fasting fora certain number of hours each day,
or eating just one meal a coupleof days a week may have health benefits.

(24:34):
What do you say to this andwhen is the best time to fast?
Yeah? So intermitt and fasting isincredible because it's an easy strategy that
anybody can implement, right, Likewe can take the puzzle of natural health
and trying to improve our bodies everysingle day, day in and day out.
And what I always look at orwhat are some of the low hanging
fruits that we can easily implement?And I tell you what, not eating

(24:55):
is a pretty simple one. There'sno planning, there's no what am I
going to to fine for food?Literally not eating? Right. So,
intermittent fasting is incredible because what itdoes is it allows our body to take
a break right in our body,when it takes a break from all the
digestion, which uses a lot ofenergy in our body. What happens is
your body is going to be ableto focus on doing the different processes that

(25:17):
it needs to do, like loweringinflammation, like detoxing. Right. And
so when you take that break fromeating and you fast, you lower inflammation,
you lower blood sugar, you lowerinsulin levels in your body, which
is all incredibly powerful metabolically, whichis also going to all lead to weight

(25:37):
loss right and making you more insulincesensitive in combating fatty liver. But the
other thing that's going to happen isif you fast long enough, you're going
to activate the process of autophogy inthe body, which has anti cancer benefits
in so many amazing benefits like combatingheart disease and many of the ailments that
we face today. So this isanother benefit. Now as far as the

(25:59):
best fasting hours, right, there'sa lot of research around. You know,
you really got to get to thatsixteen hour mark or even possibly eighteen
hours depending on the individual, toactually activate the autophagy process that I talked
about is so wildly beneficial. Butyou know, when we come to looking
at fasting hours, here's what Ithink. I think that the fasting hours

(26:21):
that you can implement in your lifeday in and day out, that are
sustainable for you as an individual,are going to be the best fasting hours.
Okay, so we want to fastfor at least sixteen hours, and
we want to eat our meals withinan eight hour window if you're doing the
traditional sixteen and eight intermittent fasting,and whether you skip breakfast or skip dinner.
I really think that just whichever itis for you is going to be

(26:45):
the best, because that way you'reable to focus on using this tool that
will improve your health in a hugeway for a long period of time.
You said it, Thank you somuch for coming on. You're full of
insight. Thank you guys. Thatwas our Healthy Minutes. It brought to
you by Caldwell Psalms. That wasthe incredible doctor Nicholas as Zerowski, Chief
Science Officer, New Vision Health Center. Could check them out all over the

(27:08):
Gram. Doctor and clinician, definitelyhelping you transform your health naturally. You
can check him out on the Gramat doctor dot Nick dot Zerowski, and
you could check them out on YouTubeand all over Facebook. You could head
directly to their website at drz dottv. You're listening to a Moment of
Zen right here on seven ten WR. The voice of New York iHeartRadio will

(27:29):
be right back after this. AMoment of Zen is brought to you by
Anamoka Brands. As a worldwide industryleader in digital entertainment, blockchain, and
digital property rights, Anamoca Brands playsa key role in the future growth of
the open metaverse. During unstable timeslike these imburgeoning industries similar to blockchain,
it's important to realize that blockchain kenand will survive and eventually flourish, and

(27:52):
industry leading companies like Anamoca Brands willguide the transformation into the future. Animoca
Brands will keep building a better andfairer Web three ecosystem, create impact for
better and bring true digital property rightsto all Internet users through NFTs and the
Open Metaverse. For more information andto become part of the excitement, go
to Anamoca brands dot com. That'sAnamoca brands dot com. Welcome back,

(28:18):
beautiful Tristate area. You're listening toa moment of Zen right here on seven
ten wore the voice of New YorkiHeartRadio. I'm your host, Zen Sam's
Welcome back to our one hundred andeighth episode, two years on the air
and going strong Today. In ourMetropolitan Lifestyles segment brought to you by Anamoca
Brands, we're featuring my dear friendCarmelia Ray, celebrity matchmaker and life coach,

(28:42):
chatting matchmaking not two point too,but three point too. How is
artificial intelligence revolutionizing online dating. We'llalso chat about how to ask for what
you want in bed. AI istransforming our world in ways that were once
only imagined in movies. We're nowbeginning to see the benefits of machine learning,

(29:03):
natural language processing, and computer visionin a wide range of industries,
including dating. The use of artificialintelligence in online dating could without a doubt,
revolutionize the way people connect and findpotential partners. Now, with the
increasing popularity of dating apps and datingplatforms, AI tech could play a major

(29:25):
role in this industry. Here toChat AI, online dating and how to
ask for what you want in bedis the sexy, the beautiful, and
the relationship expert celebrity matchmaker Carmelia RayWelcome to the show, Stunner. Hi,
so glad to be back. Absolutelyokay, so let's get into it.
You know, we have a lotto discuss here. Chat GPT Carmelia

(29:48):
is getting people dates within hours.Men and women are using the chatbot to
generate dating profiles and responses to potentialmatches. But something using AI is just
dis honest. What are your thoughts? You know it's dishonest if you're going
to completely rely on the output fromchat GPT, and if you notice that

(30:10):
what is being said is not characteristicof who you are. It's using language
that you're not using. It's behavingin a way that you're not normally behaving
in. That's when it can becomereally dishonest. It's sort of like the
classic modern day Cyrano Dibergiac. Right, you have to still go on a
real date, so great for securingthe the interest and the conversation. You

(30:33):
should really be using chat gpt asfor ideation as a prompt when you're stuck,
not relying on it to do yourdating exactly, because you're to your
point. You know, while askingthe AI for advice seems harmless, what's
happening is that people appear to betowing the line when having it generate entire
and I mean entire conversations with apotential match. So that feels catfish.

(30:56):
Now. Offering more accurate and personalizedmatch making is a thing, right,
because artificial intelligence algorithms can actually analyzevast amounts of data to understand users preferences
and interests and behaviors. And ofcourse this can allow for more precise matches
to your point, So for example, AI might be able to solve manual

(31:17):
swiping, right, because that's timeconsuming to swipe through countless profiles, but
AI could understand users taste and swipefor them. So that's an interesting bonus.
And of course I think authenticating userprofiles is a huge thing. I
don't know how you feel about it, but I think that AI can also
detect patterns of behavior that are characteristicof fake or fraudulent profiles and help reduce

(31:41):
the chances of catfishing. What doyou feel about that? Anytime that you
can use technology to create a moreefficient process, dating is time consuming.
If there is a way, andI'm sure there will be, where you
put those parameters, the parameters alreadyin the algorithms that exist on those dating
apps are already trying to do that. You put your filtering in terms of

(32:01):
age, hair, color, geography, whatever those parameters are, and that's
a filtering system. If the chat, GPT and AI can now further help
you in decision making, at theend of the day, it should be
a tool and not your primary decisionmaker. You should always know what's going
on. You couldn't agree more,Okay, So now let's chat becoming too
reliant on this tech. So AIcan of course vastly improve the probability that

(32:25):
a user will like somebody, Butto your point, it's not going to
be perfect. This is something tokeep in mind when incorporating AI into a
dating product. So you have toof course communicate clearly to users what AI
is capable of and what it isnot capable of. Otherwise users may be
disappointed when their experience doesn't match theirexpectations. Do you feel that at this

(32:47):
point right now, with AI cominginto the dating game, we are going
to become too reliant on technology?And is AI a double edged sword?
Outside of all the posit of protocolsA could add, I think we are
still really in early stages of AI. There are a lot of people out
there that don't even know that thisis available. For those who are relying

(33:09):
entirely on AI, you have toremember that you're not going to be bringing
this AI with you on your date. If if I mean hold on,
let me go to the bathroom,what should I say next? Right?
Or I bet you they're putting putit on their own bone now, So
when you become a crutch or completelydependent on an AI tool, you lose

(33:29):
your own creativity. Like a smartway to utilize chat chypt is. What
are some interesting first, you know, fun dates that I can go on
with someone who enjoys outdoor activities andit'll give you some ideas. Right,
if you're using it as a promptto speak for you, you're never going
to discover your own voice. Ithink you use it for advice, you

(33:51):
use it for tips. It's notyour handicap, it is not you.
Otherwise you might as well, youknow, put it right beside you and
say, hold on, I don'thave a brain. Let me ask my
my other half about this. Right, you're so right, all right,
I've had enough of this AI talk. I want to I want to move
on to the bedroom here. Okay, so yeah, let's do this.

(34:12):
So riding an elephant, meeting yourpartner's rents, getting a nipple, piercing,
asking your boss for a raise.The list of scary feats is long
and vast, but Carmelia, askingfor what you want in bed shouldn't be
on it. Still, of course, so many of us, especially those
of us who are shy as weare, we don't get what we want.

(34:34):
So what do you recommend, youknow, asking for anything? You
gave so many examples of asking forthings that people find really challenging, and
what you have to ask yourself iswhat do you really want? If it's
important for you to have a healthy, fulfilling sex life, then you obviously
are going to need to learn howto ask for what you want. Now,

(34:55):
there are things that you can dobecause body language in particular pays a
key role. Nonverbal communication takes ahuge part of actual communication. So asking
where you want in the bedroom canalso be direction guidance using your body,
using your voice, moaning when youneed to, you know, squirming,
If that doesn't feel so good,you gently push away, or if something

(35:20):
if there's something you like, youreinforce with sound, you reinforce with touch,
You pull your body closer, Youmake it known that yes, that
feels good, stay right there.But people have a hard time to say
oh, a faster, slower.It's like they can't get the words out
of their mouth because they're they're embarrassed, or they haven't had that conversation.

(35:42):
So it's really important that you havethat conversation before you go into into the
bedroom. Now, it's not alwaysmechanical, so sometimes you have to have
the experience first in order to beable to say, Okay, I had
that experience. How can I helpmy partner make it better? Because at
the end of the day, yourpartner would want to please you. If
I'm doing something wrong, I wantto know. If there's something you like

(36:06):
better, I want to know.So it's really about committing to the goal
and knowing that you can have amore fulfilling sex life if you communicate what
you want. And to our pointthat we made earlier, you can't have
artificial intelligence coming into conversations because imaginehow that would go. But Carmelia,
it was such a fun time.Thank you so much for coming on.

(36:27):
You're amazing. Thank you guys.That was our Metropolitan Lifestyles segment brought to
you by Animoca Brands. That wasthe amazing Carmelia Ray, celebrity matchmaker and
life coach. You could head directlyto her website, Carmelia Ray dot com
and you could check her out allover the gram at Carmelia Ray. You're
listening to a moment of Zen righthere on seven ten Wore, the voice
of New York iHeartRadio, will beright back after this a Moment of Zen.

(36:52):
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(38:00):
beautiful Tristate area. You're listening toa moment of Zen right here on
seven ten, wore the voice ofNew york iHeartRadio. I'm your host,
Zen Sam's and our Trailblazer segment broughtto you by Navvy Travel. Today,
we're featuring the amazing Alexa Rose Carlin. She's a keynote speaker, best selling
author, and CEO of Women inPower X. Today we're chatting about what

(38:22):
it really means to have it allin twenty twenty three, especially for US
gals. Now, the right toa fulfilling career is no longer up for
debate, but other measures of equalityare taking longer than we'd like. Gender
pay gap and barriers to work stillvery much exist in the form of social
mobility, racial inequality, and prohibitivechildcare costs. The all we're looking for

(38:45):
now comes in the form of equalpay for equal work, flexible working for
childcare, mental health or side hustlereasons, and a job that aligns with
our value systems. The career allhas become a proverb, real stick we
beat ourselves with if we don't thinkwe're living up to the standards of our
peers. Peers whose own career successis both wildly inflated and a million times

(39:09):
more visible because of social media,making us feel like we're failing here to
chat career, manifestation, family andbalancing it all out is the amazing Alexa
Rose Carlin, Welcome to the show'sstenner. Thanks so much for having me.
Absolutely so let's crunch this up.So thirty years ago, having it
all was really about the proliferation ofthings, right, the bringing together of

(39:35):
entity so to speak that previously existedfor women in silo, a career and
a family, sex and love,meaningful relationships and a job outside of the
home, your own cash, anda partner. But now we're in the
middle of a sysmic shift so tospeak, where we want the right to
separate out those things again and cruciallysay no to the parts we don't want.

(39:55):
So having it all could be asmuch about what we choose not to
have. Talk to me about thisfemale empowerment shift in mentality and do you
think it's justified? Well, yeah, I mean I think anything that where
people have their own individual feelings andemotions around something is justified right because it's
true to them and it's okay ifwe all believe or want something differently,

(40:20):
and I think right now, havingit all is just having it all in
the sense of what you prioritize.So if you prioritize time with family,
but you still want to make anincome and support yourself or bring in an
additional income into your family, thenyou want that flexibility, and that would

(40:42):
be having it all for you,But maybe for someone else, it's climbing
the corporate ladder and you know,getting an executive position while still being able
to have your family and spend timewith them, while being this powerful woman,
and it's really focused on a lotof different things than a different person.
And so I think the I thinkthirty years ago, as you mentioned,

(41:07):
having it all looked a lot thesame, like very much the same
to every woman. There was thisideal belief and they and want that they
all aspire to obtain. And todayit looks really different. I know people
that they don't care about the money. They just want to be a stay
at home housewife and that's having itall for them. And other people don't

(41:27):
want to start a family right nowand they feel the pressures of society.
But to them, having it allas having a great partner in life,
maybe not getting married and having kidsand having the career that they love.
And so I think it's just aboutdefining it for yourself and knowing that you
can have it all, but youhave to know what you actually want first,
It's true, and not follow theblanketed definition of to your point,

(41:52):
what it meant thirty years ago tohave it all. I think we've all,
especially women, have found a wayto empower ourselves in our own right,
especially after COVID and after we sawhow much we were truly, in
fact able to not just withhold andsustain, but we became you know,
stay at home moms. We turnedinto remote teachers, We were you know,

(42:14):
caregivers, we were everything during thattime. And I think the pandemic
shifted a lot of that mentality toyour point where now having it all just
truly does mean something different for eachone of us now. Balancing family,
work, life and caring for ourselves, of course, is no easy task,
and our brain gets bogged with negativity, anxiety, and stress. That's

(42:36):
for everybody, right, talk tome about the notion of staying positive,
tips for maintaining confidence and speaking empoweringthoughts into the universe Alexa, Yeah,
I mean stay. Obtaining the skillof confidence in oneself really goes as far
as understanding that it is a scaleand you can learn it. You are

(42:58):
worthy of having those thoughts and beliefs, and to build that skill of confidence
in oneself and to be able tobe confident to say no to something right.
So you you might have this amazingopportunity in your career, but you
already promised the family vacation and knowingnot having that fomo feeling being confident in
those decisions, you have to againunderstand what is that opportunity cost. And

(43:22):
that's going to give you more confidencein decision making, which ultimately will bring
give you more power back in yourlife and allow you to know that you
are in control versus focusing on allthe things that we have no control over
and that alleviate stress anxiety. Nowit's still, you know, it's still

(43:43):
a balancing act. And that's whyI'm always talking about work life blend versus
work life balance, because I thinkthat you know, we live and breathe
with our phone near us, soreally we're always connected to work and to
our life, and so why arewe trying to separate the two versus have
this really well balanced blend of thetwo. Like when I go on a

(44:06):
work trip, I try to youknow, mix and mingle some fun with
it versus just being about work andthen just being about my life quote unquote.
And so again, just being confidentin your own decisions when you are
proposed this decision to make and thenyou make one decision and then you have
fomo of what you're missing out onor if you did make the right decision,

(44:29):
or think about how many times youmade a decision, and then people
like question it, and then youquestion yourself, well, if you start
to rate the opportunity costs of thosetwo things, and which one would be
the lower opportunity costs in the senseof which one If you don't do that,
the opportunity you're missing is much lessthan if you, you know,

(44:51):
didn't do the other decision that you'remaking. And that's going to help you
really make a decision, stick withit, and then be confident in what
you are doing and how you're livingyour life. Amen to that. Amen
to that. So now let's takeeverything you just said and let's chat elevating
your brand and your business. SoI always like to say to people in
terms of branding because of course,as a live host, you know we

(45:14):
do this all day is create anexperience. You know, every interaction with
a client is a chance to leavea positive impression and create a memorable experience
and be consistent. Right, Brandconsistency not only makes you look professional,
professional, it also helps you standout. So this means the same color
as imagery and logo, no matterif it's online or print. And of

(45:35):
course, lastly, this is whatI always say, and you can tell
me if I'm wrong, stay trueto your brand because clients can easily connect
with brands that are authentic, thatare open and true to their values.
I say, Alexa, nothing isworse than deceiving clients by straying away,
straying away from your brand's core values. What is your advice here, Yes,
I mean I definitely agree with thosestatements because there's kind of two parts

(45:59):
that I'd like to mention here.So definitely, brand consistency and looking like
the same type of brand across allof your let's say online platforms is really
key to helping you become recognizable.So you should have like this is a
simple example, the same profile picturethe same colors on your LinkedIn as you
do as your Instagram. Now thatcontent may be different, right, one

(46:21):
may be a lifestyle mixed with yourbusiness, and LinkedIn may be more focused
on business. But you if Ifind you on LinkedIn or Facebook or Instagram
or TikTok, I can easily recognizeyour personal brand. And if you can't,
then that is a key, likean easy way to switch it to
become that recognizable voice and person.And then on the other side, in

(46:45):
order to rise above the noise,especially in today's world, you have to
utilize your voice. Now, I'ma big proponent I'm using public speaking as
a way to scale your business andbrand as well as make an impact.
I mean it's changed my life.Not only has it helped me, you
know, bring in a whole otheradditional revenue stream, but it's been the

(47:07):
most powerful marketing vehicle I've ever experienced. And I've been doing this since I'm
seventeen years old, so I've triedeverything under the sun. And it's the
one thing that you have that noone else has. It's your story.
It's what I call your X factorstory, what makes you you. It's
that hero's journey, and it's howyou connect your story to your products and

(47:30):
services in a way that provides valueand impact to your audience. And so
they're coming to rush and buy yourproducts or work with you without you ever
actually quote unquote selling, because they'reso captivated by your authentic and vulnerable story
of why you got started, whatyou went through, how your solution transformed

(47:50):
your life, and how it canhelp others as well. Well, there
you go. That's the benefits forsure of public speaking, because of course
I believe that we all have asuper power that we might not even know
about, the power, to yourpoint, to make another person glow and
evoke emotion. In fact, astudy found that we underestimate how happy someone
feels after they receive a compliment orlisten to a motivational speaker. And of

(48:14):
course I said this before, butthe work that I do when I'm live
on radio or TV, I alwaysremind people that small acts of kindness of
a very big impact, and educatingpeople and letting people know that they matter
is so very important. So thebenefits of public speaking, of connecting with
your audience, of sharing your struggles, of sharing your triumphs, of talking

(48:37):
about your journey transparently allows somebody toreally feel how you ultimately got to that
successful place. And that's exactly whatyou just said. It makes one hundred
percent sense, and you answered thequestion for me about the benefits of public
speaking. Now we have about twominutes left, let's chat you joining motherhood.

(49:01):
So in fact, this fall you'rehaving twins, your outlook on career
and are you going to balance itall and keep the Alexa Carland shop open
for business? Oh yeah, Sonow that I'm pregnant with twins, like,
definitely, I'm heading into this wholenew chapter. I don't even know

(49:22):
what to expect. So I'm kindof just going into the unknown and saying,
Okay, there's no need to stressand worry until you know it comes
about, because I have had thatstress and worry, like how am I
going to quote unquote balance it all? And the twins thing was a huge
shock, and so it's it's scaryfor sure. And I wouldn't come on

(49:43):
here and say, oh, Ihave it all figure it out because I
don't at all. And I thinkthat you know, I definitely have created
a great support system with my family, my husband's family. My husband is
great. We both work from home, and so you know, I'm not
trying to do it all a loan, and that's an okay thing I think
a lot of times. And thisis of course, you know, saying

(50:06):
this about the majority of people,but I think a lot of times women
we feel like we have to doit all ourself, and that's not the
most successful or best way to doit. It's okay to ask for help,
and so I'm definitely going to beasking for help, and I have
been over the years knowing that Iwant to start a family, positioning my
business in a way that I canrun it from home, I can set

(50:28):
my own schedule, I can beflexible. So I have thought about this
for the last two to three yearsand setting up my business in a way
that works around the lifestyle I want, so I can go back into what
you know, we started this conversationwith, have it all in the fall.
I definitely know I'll have a bigshift, but I'm looking forward to
sharing the imperfect moments with everyone.Oh, you are perfectly imperfect, and

(50:52):
you are going to now practice everythingyou've been preaching to all your friends and
to all your followers. Thank youso much for coming on. You were
amazing. I love having you onand chatting with you. Thank you for
having me. I appreciate it absolutely. Guys, you definitely have to check
her out. She's amazing. Thatwas our Trailblazer segment featuring Alexa Rosecarland,
keynote speaker, author CEO of WomenEmpower X. You definitely have to check

(51:15):
her out on her gram at AlexaRosecarlin, and you can check her out
directly at Alexacarlin dot com. You'relistening to a moment of Zen right here
on seven two are the voice ofNew York iHeartRadio. We'll be right back
after this. Hi, this isKathy Ireland here on a Moment of Zen,
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(51:35):
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(51:58):
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