August 7, 2023 • 9 mins
Poor Jack. He is home sick as heck with Covid. This is apparently the eris variant. He sounds really bad, but because he's Jack, he brought us a fantastically hilarious story about getting a spray tan.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ladies and gents. The co host Jack Armstrong joins us
via telephone. Hello, Jack, Oh wow, you sound just terrific.
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
COVID? Apparently?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Really? Have you? Have you tested? Or is it that
your theory or what?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I took two tests, I passed them, both, failed them both.
Then I look at first time I've ever gotten a
positive home test before? Really?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yeah? Famously you had had multiple home tests come up negative.
Than the minute you stepped in a medical office, they
tested you and your positive.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Right, these are positive? So I think this is the
fourth time I've had COVID.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
That's plenty. What variants are we dealing with? Now? Do
you have any idea?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Aris? E R I s Ericson's the ras very impotent
laid below?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
What are they naming them after these days? It was
the Greek alphabet.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
For a while, Winchester dog winners, I don't know, Westminster
doug with I'm quite ill.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah, clearly. How are you feeling? What are your symptoms?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Basically just cold symptoms, although pretty extreme versions of them.
I noticed what I was out about this weekend, A
lot more masks around, you know, and they're starting to
talk about the surge or something out even what they
mean by at this point, but that's yeah, it's around,
(01:36):
it's around places. You know. I suppose you can get
it and not have any symptoms, or you can get
it and be sick. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Well two things, well, three things. Number one, Yes, there
is some sort of summer surge going on, I've heard. Secondly,
you live in a communist enclave, so people there are
anxious to show their COVID seriousness still at this late date,
probably wearing my third point, useless cloth masks.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Right, I was still supposed to be getting shots. I
hadn't gotten a shot very very long time.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Well, I got a different shot last Friday, and among
the most prominent choices for which shot do you want
were flu in COVID nineteen. So I have no idea.
I haven't paid attention for months and months. Is it
up to date?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
They?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Is it ready for the airis variant which you may
have made up?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I yeah, I hadn't thought about COVID forever, but this
cold hit me so fast and so hard I thought,
I wonder if it's COVID, it's just because I've been
reading about it. So I got a couple of home
tests and test positives. I thought that kid me right,
test positive.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Get So we are at the stage or it's just
part of.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Life apparently, But I did some reading last night about it.
Still use the same language about about COVID transmitting around
like I don't quite understand. So what the cold travels
around that people get it and hate it or sick?
(03:17):
I learn it. But thanks, doctor Fauci. That's what I
wanted to get on the radio to say, thank you,
doctor Fauci.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Yeah, yeah, thanks for your fine work and gain a
function there in Wuhan. Excellent work, really really good.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Glad my taxpayer money could go to creating this disease
that is killed in millions, and they do lots of
people unhappy.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
They can be safe at Wuhan. They know what they're doing. So,
if you were not laid low by Chairman Cheese bat fever,
was there something you were especially hot to trot to
talk about today?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Uh? Hey, rapping though, I can kick it in the goal.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Whoa whoa wow. See that's that's and high lgbt Q
I A b b Q talk right there. I think
you're just targeting her because she has purple hair.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I could kick it in the goal.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
It's a huge goal, gal, I.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Know it's giant. Somebody kick it in there, like like,
make it go in there.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
We played the clip earlier the somebody asked her, what's
her her greatest Why don't we just play that, Michael,
do you have that? Let's jack here that clip number eleven.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Is there a memory that stands out to you right
now in this moment.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
At the end of her career, I mean.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Probably equal pay chance after the final, and I think
you know they're saying equal pay, but could have been
saying a lot of things. I think this team is
always fought for so much more and that's been the
most rewarding part for me. Of course, New York.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Times praised them. Yeah, the New York Times praised them. Hey,
they may have been sucky at soccer, but boy they've
been real political activists and we should really admire them
for that.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, well the politics and sports just whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
Why did why did Russia and China send all those
boats of by Alaska? What's tell all about?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Because they treasure the right of free navigation of international waters.
I don't know they were just you know, it's a flex.
I think we talked about that earlier how we responded,
and they were in international waters and I can't get
too worked up about it because that's our thing is Yeah,
we get to sail to South China Sea. It's international waters,
(05:44):
so we're internationals and we're navigating them. But it's absolutely
edging on hostile.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I need to die for a cold. That'd be embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
It's not a cold. It's the bat fever aris, the
RAS very Now, how do you spell that?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Is it? E? R O S?
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Like arrows?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Like it? Oh? I R s?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Yeah? Like, if you're making that up, you should have
made up something funnier.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
No, I didn't make it up. I looked at a
I'm just wondering what variant I had and I haven't
been paying attention for, like, I don't know a year
and a half or something.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Neither is anybody else unless they're obsessed. Does ARIS have
any particular qualities that we should be aware of?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Uh? No, just very very easily transmissible and mild switch
means that everybody I came in contact with this last
weekend probably has or we'll get it, And I most
likely had it last week while I was at work,
based on how long it takes for the symptoms to hit.
So maybe I got it into work. Maybe you all
(06:57):
have it. Maybe you all came in to me, you bastards.
Bunch of wash her hands down that.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Aw my skin gets so dry. I prefer not to
my wife in her social circles. She's been inexplicably sneezing
and blowing your nose the last several days. I mean,
like a lot. And it wouldn't be allergies. It shouldn't
be anyway this time of year, and she gets allergy
treatments and stuff like that, and you know, and she
doesn't feel like she has a cold. But she also
(07:24):
when she got the VID, it was always very mild.
So now she's wondering, all right, crap, do I take
a test? Because she's in this singing group that includes
some older gals who are definitely in the vulnerable, vulnerable group.
So every time you're blowing your nose more than normal,
I don't know, do you take the test or what?
(07:45):
Because nobody dies of cold, there.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Is that problem. Do you want to know? Because once
you find out and you have certain in theory social responsibilities.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah, I think we still have all the test somewhere
in a cabinet.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Huh, I fake tanned over the weekend. What I spray
t hand over the weekend?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Wow? These are You're ashamed of your corpse feet?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yes, I was ashamed of my corpse feet, as my
son calls it. So I sprayed hand and I'm a
little embarrassed about.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
It, like all over or regionally or what.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
My whole body. I did wear underwear. I didn't do
like a you know, like a pole dancer or something.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
So was it a home treatment or did you go
to some facility that offers this service.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I went to a facility that offers this service. I
can't imagine a worst job in the world than spray
painting orandos in their underwear. Girls seem to enjoy her work.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Really, So you stripped down to your skivies and sheet
like spray painted you. Yeah. It wasn't automated like in
that that hilarious scene from Friends, which I've maintained is
the funniest scene ever from that.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Show where ross individual with this was an individual with
like a handsprayer thing.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
They went, I'm not getting semi naked in front of
any young woman. Forget it.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Well I didn't. I didn't know that was part of
the process, or I would not have done it because
I did enjoy that either. Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Well, as soon as your health rallies, I want to
hear every single detail of that, but we're actually out
of time for the segment. So why don't you rest,
taking a lot of liquids and contemplate the evils of communism?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Watch out for airspeople.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
All right, we'll do thanks for that. The ill Jack
Armstrong yet another victim of Anthony Fauci, Francis Collins and
chairman She
Ladies and gents. The co host Jack Armstrong joins us
via telephone. Hello, Jack, Oh wow, you sound just terrific.
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
COVID? Apparently?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Really? Have you? Have you tested? Or is it that
your theory or what?
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I took two tests, I passed them, both, failed them both.
Then I look at first time I've ever gotten a
positive home test before? Really?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yeah? Famously you had had multiple home tests come up negative.
Than the minute you stepped in a medical office, they
tested you and your positive.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Right, these are positive? So I think this is the
fourth time I've had COVID.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
That's plenty. What variants are we dealing with? Now? Do
you have any idea?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Aris? E R I s Ericson's the ras very impotent
laid below?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
What are they naming them after these days? It was
the Greek alphabet.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
For a while, Winchester dog winners, I don't know, Westminster
doug with I'm quite ill.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Yeah, clearly. How are you feeling? What are your symptoms?
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Basically just cold symptoms, although pretty extreme versions of them.
I noticed what I was out about this weekend, A
lot more masks around, you know, and they're starting to
talk about the surge or something out even what they
mean by at this point, but that's yeah, it's around,
(01:36):
it's around places. You know. I suppose you can get
it and not have any symptoms, or you can get
it and be sick. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Well two things, well, three things. Number one, Yes, there
is some sort of summer surge going on, I've heard. Secondly,
you live in a communist enclave, so people there are
anxious to show their COVID seriousness still at this late date,
probably wearing my third point, useless cloth masks.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Right, I was still supposed to be getting shots. I
hadn't gotten a shot very very long time.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Well, I got a different shot last Friday, and among
the most prominent choices for which shot do you want
were flu in COVID nineteen. So I have no idea.
I haven't paid attention for months and months. Is it
up to date?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
They?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Is it ready for the airis variant which you may
have made up?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I yeah, I hadn't thought about COVID forever, but this
cold hit me so fast and so hard I thought,
I wonder if it's COVID, it's just because I've been
reading about it. So I got a couple of home
tests and test positives. I thought that kid me right,
test positive.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Get So we are at the stage or it's just
part of.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Life apparently, But I did some reading last night about it.
Still use the same language about about COVID transmitting around
like I don't quite understand. So what the cold travels
around that people get it and hate it or sick?
(03:17):
I learn it. But thanks, doctor Fauci. That's what I
wanted to get on the radio to say, thank you,
doctor Fauci.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Yeah, yeah, thanks for your fine work and gain a
function there in Wuhan. Excellent work, really really good.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Glad my taxpayer money could go to creating this disease
that is killed in millions, and they do lots of
people unhappy.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
They can be safe at Wuhan. They know what they're doing. So,
if you were not laid low by Chairman Cheese bat fever,
was there something you were especially hot to trot to
talk about today?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Uh? Hey, rapping though, I can kick it in the goal.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Whoa whoa wow. See that's that's and high lgbt Q
I A b b Q talk right there. I think
you're just targeting her because she has purple hair.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
I could kick it in the goal.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
It's a huge goal, gal, I.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Know it's giant. Somebody kick it in there, like like,
make it go in there.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
We played the clip earlier the somebody asked her, what's
her her greatest Why don't we just play that, Michael,
do you have that? Let's jack here that clip number eleven.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Is there a memory that stands out to you right
now in this moment.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
At the end of her career, I mean.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Probably equal pay chance after the final, and I think
you know they're saying equal pay, but could have been
saying a lot of things. I think this team is
always fought for so much more and that's been the
most rewarding part for me. Of course, New York.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Times praised them. Yeah, the New York Times praised them. Hey,
they may have been sucky at soccer, but boy they've
been real political activists and we should really admire them
for that.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, well the politics and sports just whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
Why did why did Russia and China send all those
boats of by Alaska? What's tell all about?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Because they treasure the right of free navigation of international waters.
I don't know they were just you know, it's a flex.
I think we talked about that earlier how we responded,
and they were in international waters and I can't get
too worked up about it because that's our thing is Yeah,
we get to sail to South China Sea. It's international waters,
(05:44):
so we're internationals and we're navigating them. But it's absolutely
edging on hostile.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I need to die for a cold. That'd be embarrassing.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
It's not a cold. It's the bat fever aris, the
RAS very Now, how do you spell that?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Is it? E? R O S?
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Like arrows?
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Like it? Oh? I R s?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Yeah? Like, if you're making that up, you should have
made up something funnier.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
No, I didn't make it up. I looked at a
I'm just wondering what variant I had and I haven't
been paying attention for, like, I don't know a year
and a half or something.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Neither is anybody else unless they're obsessed. Does ARIS have
any particular qualities that we should be aware of?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Uh? No, just very very easily transmissible and mild switch
means that everybody I came in contact with this last
weekend probably has or we'll get it, And I most
likely had it last week while I was at work,
based on how long it takes for the symptoms to hit.
So maybe I got it into work. Maybe you all
(06:57):
have it. Maybe you all came in to me, you bastards.
Bunch of wash her hands down that.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Aw my skin gets so dry. I prefer not to
my wife in her social circles. She's been inexplicably sneezing
and blowing your nose the last several days. I mean,
like a lot. And it wouldn't be allergies. It shouldn't
be anyway this time of year, and she gets allergy
treatments and stuff like that, and you know, and she
doesn't feel like she has a cold. But she also
(07:24):
when she got the VID, it was always very mild.
So now she's wondering, all right, crap, do I take
a test? Because she's in this singing group that includes
some older gals who are definitely in the vulnerable, vulnerable group.
So every time you're blowing your nose more than normal,
I don't know, do you take the test or what?
(07:45):
Because nobody dies of cold, there.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Is that problem. Do you want to know? Because once
you find out and you have certain in theory social responsibilities.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah, I think we still have all the test somewhere
in a cabinet.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Huh, I fake tanned over the weekend. What I spray
t hand over the weekend?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Wow? These are You're ashamed of your corpse feet?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Yes, I was ashamed of my corpse feet, as my
son calls it. So I sprayed hand and I'm a
little embarrassed about.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
It, like all over or regionally or what.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
My whole body. I did wear underwear. I didn't do
like a you know, like a pole dancer or something.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
So was it a home treatment or did you go
to some facility that offers this service.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
I went to a facility that offers this service. I
can't imagine a worst job in the world than spray
painting orandos in their underwear. Girls seem to enjoy her work.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
Really, So you stripped down to your skivies and sheet
like spray painted you. Yeah. It wasn't automated like in
that that hilarious scene from Friends, which I've maintained is
the funniest scene ever from that.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Show where ross individual with this was an individual with
like a handsprayer thing.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
They went, I'm not getting semi naked in front of
any young woman. Forget it.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Well I didn't. I didn't know that was part of
the process, or I would not have done it because
I did enjoy that either. Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Well, as soon as your health rallies, I want to
hear every single detail of that, but we're actually out
of time for the segment. So why don't you rest,
taking a lot of liquids and contemplate the evils of communism?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Watch out for airspeople.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
All right, we'll do thanks for that. The ill Jack
Armstrong yet another victim of Anthony Fauci, Francis Collins and
chairman She
Hosts And Creators
Joe Getty
Jack Armstrong
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