Such Innocent Times! Joe Getty Looks-back at Early 2020

Those Were Innocent Times! Joe Getty's Look-Back at Early 2020.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
So this is a piece of uh, well, it's writing.
Somebody wrote this. It's not clear to me who, but
I would love to give them credit. Lorie sent it along.
It's packed with emoji's jack, which you would enjoy as
you're a big fan of the art form. Um. It
is written in the style of child, then of a person,
probably a young woman, jotting a note to her friends.

(00:24):
Um and well, I'll just launch into it. We will
probably not read the whole thing because it's rather long,
but uh, dear Diary edition. In January, Australia caught on fire.
I don't even know if that fire was put out
because we straight up almost went to war with Iran.
We might actually still be almost at war with them.
I don't know, because Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt spoke

(00:45):
to one another at an awards show and everybody flipped
the crap out. But then there was this thing in
on bats in China. Then Prince Harry and Megan pieced
out of the royal family, and there's the whole impeachment trial,
and then coronavirus showed up in the US officially, But
then Kobe died and the u K pieced out of
the European Union. This is January and it's this is

(01:05):
so that? Yes, and why this is so brilliant? My god,
how long did it take to write this, you know,
piecing together all of those news stories, because this is
very good, it's very accurate. Anyway, in February, Iowa crapped
itself with the caucus results. And that's right, the caucus
in Iowa. But you talked about something I couldn't have
told you was this year. Yeah, I know, I know.

(01:31):
With the caucus results and the president was acquitted and
the Speaker of the House took ten whole years to
rip up a speech. Then the w h O decided
to give the virus the name COVID nineteen, which confused
some really important people in charge of like our lives
into thinking there were eighteen other versions before. But then
Harvey Weinstein was found guilty and US Americans started asking

(01:52):
if Corona beer was safe to drink, and everyone on
Facebook suddenly became a doctor who just knew the flu
like killed way more people in COVID one through eighteen. Um,
how about Nancy Polsy tearing up the speech? I couldn't
tell you what year that happened. I had to be
like maybe, yeah, yeah, let's see. In March, stuff hit
the fan, Warren dropped out of the presidential race, and

(02:14):
Sanders like Bernie your bust. But then Italy shut his
whole country down, and then COVID not one through eighteen
officially became what everybody already realized, the pandemic, and then
a nationwide state of emergencies was declared in the US,
but it didn't really change anything, so everyone was confused
or thought it was still just a flu. Then COVID
not eighteen was like, y'alling still not taking me seriously,
I'm gonna infect the one celebrity everybody loves and totally

(02:36):
infected Tom Hanks. Oh that's right, And get you all
to close all the school so y'all can appreciate teachers
for once, because you can't teach them anything other than
other than how to use a touch screen. Close down
all the salons so you can't get your hair downder
your nails done. Everyone had to work for home and
attend Zoom meetings in their underwear. Then the dow took
a crap on itself, and most of us still don't
understand why the stock market is so important or even

(02:58):
a thing we are then all introduce the Tiger King
and the one thing we can all agree on this year,
Carol totally killed her husband whacked him, and then Netflix
was like, you're welcome, and we realized there's no way
we were washing her hands up in the first place,
because all of our hands are now dry and gross,
and we're all searching for lotion. Now that's We're just

(03:18):
at the end of March. Uh, you want April, I'll
give you April. In April, Bernie finally busted himself out
of the presidential race. But then New York City became
the set of The Walking Dead, and we learned that
no one has face masks, sventilators of toilet paper or
the freaking swiffer wet jet liquid. And by now our
outgrowth is showing this is so there's no shortage on
box hair dye, and all of our hair dressers are like, no, don't.

(03:41):
But then Kim Jong un died, but then he came
back to life or did he who knows, because then
the Pentagon released videos of UFOs and nobody cared and
we were like, man, it's only April, you know, why
don't we drop a little more on this of this
on you uh later. But the part I love is
the January February stuff, all those giant stories that now

(04:06):
seems so quaint and almost almost I don't know. I
I longed for them like I longed for the days
of my youth. H Nancy Pelosi tearing up the speech
in a stupid show boating moon maneuver, and uh, you know,
the various political troubles and jan and Brad Pitt and

(04:27):
Harry and Meghan and the rest of the