Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sadly and the Morning Show with DJ four and it's
saw t Morning.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Bustin's number one for hip hop jam in ninety four
or five.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Hi Babes, listen for the ogs of this show.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
It's still tender Tuesday to you. We're just switching up
the name to that way. Everybody, even the new I
like it. I think Beyond the Swipe makes it what
it is like it's not we talk just dating in general.
And some people that join the show and they're new
to it, they hear tender Tuesday and they're like, well, wait,
does it just have to be a tender story.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
It doesn't, and I try to explain that.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
But I think calling it beyond the Swipe, like the
combos are more than just that.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
It makes sense. And it's still up on the boards
on you get to erase that you've moved on. We've
moved on. Actually clip this and.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Post this on Instagram so people know this segment while
it still is its OG form.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Of Tender Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
We're gonna call it Beyond the Swipe because it is
about dating, it's about love, it's about relationships. It could
be about tender, but there's also other thing. There's hey, Ash,
just get out of a relationship. I need your advice. Hey, Ash,
I want my ex back. What should I do? You know,
it's it's all of the things and beyond this wipe
encompasses that sense. That's what we're calling.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
We're gonna kick it off with Anonymous, who is in
a situationship high Anonymous.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Good morning, Good morning. So we've been talking for about
one month. Thirty days. Where'd you meet?
Speaker 5 (01:26):
We actually met on Tenderer, but we've known each other
since middle school, so you you kind.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Of linked back up on tender is what you're saying.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Yeah, yeah, because I moved out of that town and
we always kept each other on socials, but we never
really started anything.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Got it.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
I guess had a cross on me back then. So
when I like got an on Cinder, that's when he
kind of came forward with that.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
All right, So about thirty days, where'd you guys go?
In the first date?
Speaker 5 (01:59):
The first day we went to onto, like this Mexican
restaurant and we just had the mosta but then we
had a meal and then everything went great. We caught up.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
We loved it.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
I loved it.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
So what is the downfall?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Right now?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Because I can sense it there's something what's going on.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
So like we've been on a like a few more dates,
and then that during that time, I was moving, so
he was actually helped move with moving and then like
I had a car problem at one point he was
like toting me out with that, and then everything was
going great with like the texting, and I want to say,
like around my feet two or week, like weeks two
and a half to freeze, Like he's just the texting
(02:39):
just like declined, like big time. Like he has his
freedom of the guns, but he would always just freet
my message to answer within hours or like say like oh,
I'm ecousy at work, which I totally understand, but then
you're you're telling me you get off at five and
you want to text me two in the morning.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Oh what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
And then I, as much as I don't want to
play games, I just kind of ignore it. I'll answer
them when I answer him because I'm not going to
waste my energy on him, and then he'll just text
me and everything goes back to normal.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
So now you're just trying to prove a point, which
is kind of tough because you're only thirty days in
this relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
This should not be happening this soon. What about just happening?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I mean, I don't know, guys, if you think it
might be too soon and he might be scared if
she does this, but could you not talk to him
about it and be like, hey, I feel like the
texting has kind of changed, like what's up?
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Yeah, well, like I've done that. I've done that in
the past with like other people that I've talked to
like that. They've talked for maybe like a.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
Month and then I'm just like, hey, is everything good?
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Looks us like I feel that he's a little bit
of a paint and that kind of spears them away.
I don't know what's with the taking school with men,
but once he says something like that, they intendially just fold.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Well that's what I say, and it could give stage five.
But I'm wondering, like something clearly changed in the two weeks.
Maybe you had him do too many things, you had
car problems, he had to move you. Maybe he was
like I just met her, I'm not her boyfriend. Why
am I doing this?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
So my thing on that is that I've never really
asked for my help for his help kind of in
like grautitude himself. He's like, oh, like, I know a
friend I can help you with, Like he can help
you with your car real quick, and YadA, YadA YadA.
And then he came over that night after his friend
helped with my car. And then the next day he said, oh,
he wanted let me take you to like combat so
we can go look at cars for you and stuff
(04:32):
like that.
Speaker 7 (04:33):
So it's not like.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
I'm asking to do it. He's like doing it himself,
which I liked. I was like, oh, maybe he's really
feeling interest to me, right, So I don't know how
that well.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Unfortunately I'm a you know, journalist, and I'm gonna have
to get all the details.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Four weeks have we have? We we have?
Speaker 5 (04:53):
We have?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
What week did we Yeah?
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Week three and that's when the other time and that
was around when my car.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Okay, so around week three he helps you out with
the car, we go to we go and then now
we're kind of seeing a decline in text.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Here's that the read receipts are are the devil because.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Nobody, nobody can sit here and lie and say it
wouldn't frustrate them when they send somebody a text, they
know the person who's read it, and they don't respond
for hours.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
You know, the man.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Gets off at five pm. He's not texting you till
two am.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
What are you doing exactly?
Speaker 5 (05:31):
No, I totally agree. And so at that point, I'm
at the point, like, for example, this morning, like I
texted him last night because he was out with his
friends drinking and stuff. So all I said that I
was going to sleep because I worked hard, and I
said good night as some be safe. And then when
I woke up in the morning, like after I fell asleep,
like an hour after I fell asleep, I do that
(05:52):
he read it, but never he said like, oh good night,
or I made a whole safe before I.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Don't like it from us, or like at minimum heart it.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Did you had you text him?
Speaker 8 (06:01):
Had you text him before that? Like during the day,
like had you guys been talking or do you find yourself?
Speaker 7 (06:08):
I think.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Giving away.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
It's given me that And so I'm not the point
where I want to ask you guys at this point,
what should I do? Should I try to have that
talk with him, or should I give him the same
energy or how do you feel?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I mean, I guess it's how you feel about.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Him he doesn't feel the same, but we don't know
that maybe, but it's a good conversation to have it.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
And I think, I think you, I do think you
could have that convo.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
But I think what his response is, you have to
really like take a face value if he if he
says like, I don't know when feelings have a way
about this, like you have to be okay, you might
get that response.
Speaker 8 (06:44):
We're care enough to even have that convo, like do
you really feel this guy like that? If you don't,
why even go down that podcast? But like it is
what it is, and you lessen your energy too, and
see what he comes back with.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
So I remember like when we not like exactly when
we first started talking, but there was a time where
I was like we were talking about like our wants
and how we feel and like how we are and stuff.
And I told him, I'm like, I'm a person that
loves reinsurance just because I've been played too many times
in the past and I've been single for about three
years now. And I told you, like, I was like, yeah,
(07:19):
you can't put that on him.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
You really can't about it. You're gonna drive yourself insane.
If you keep expecting him pressure for him too.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
And it's been one month, you know what I mean,
Like one month is a long it's just not enough.
Speaker 7 (07:35):
You know.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
I worry about this with my girlfriends sometimes.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
You know, you go out, you have a couple of days,
you're like, Wow, this is great, and you put too
much pressure on the guy, and then they run away.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
I got it.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I just I don't.
Speaker 8 (07:45):
Invest too much into it too quickly, like let it
play out. But again, it depends on how much you
like this dude. If you really like him, then I
would say have the convo.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
I do like him because when we're together, we're like,
it's like nice, it's like we're really like any time
with each other. We do things together, like he says it,
like he's like, oh this is going great and stuff.
But then when it comes to the texting is when
it's like off. And so I I text when I
can because I'm working crazy hours and so we do
(08:16):
the same thing because he's also he's a he works
at a like I think a base and he's a
correctional officer and so he has worked those crazy hours
and I give him this space. I do whatever, Like
we don't mean up all the time. Like in total,
we've only met up maybe like four times, like once
a week, So like, I give him this space. I
let him do his thing, But I don't know it's
(08:38):
when it comes to the texting is let's like throw
me off. And I know I shouldn't rely on the texting,
but we live in a day where everyone's text every.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Oh yeah, what what surbiage? Guys what verbiage?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Because I do think you should she should send the text,
but well, how do how do we word it?
Speaker 3 (08:52):
So he's not like.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I think what you need to do is kind of
put it forward, like where do you see this going
in the next couple of months, not say why aren't
you texting back?
Speaker 4 (09:00):
I would kind of say where.
Speaker 8 (09:02):
If he's already feeling like she's pressuring him, that might
be like damn, this chick that is relentless. You know
what I'm saying, It's like you only hung out four times,
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
I think I think. I don't think it's a text conversation.
Speaker 8 (09:13):
I think you called, you call him on the phone,
and then you just have the comfo be like hey,
look I've noticed, like you know, things have changed a
little bit. I'm just kind of wondering where you're at
with this space. I'm cool with whatever you want. I
just don't don't feel.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Pressure one beyond that.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Why don't we wait and set up the next meeting
and then the next time you guys are actually physically together,
because you feel like that's where he's you know, the
most honest and up front of you. You you just chat
with him about it then text saying he's gonna w yeah,
but can I just say ps A, if somebody sends
you a text like that, like have so much fun tonight,
heart it, thumbs up it, acknowledge, like just give me.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
I mean, that's that is I don't like that. I'm
with you on that.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Like if it was just a simple like like a
heart it, I would have been fine, right, Like.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
No, less that I said it, it's weird and you
know he's up now, and it's just I don't Yeah,
I get it.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
And yeah, So that's that's kind of where we're going
through because again, like when we're together, it's perfect, it's fine.
And I've asked him like the last time when we
met up, i said, I'm all like, oh, are we good?
And he's like, yeah, we're perfect and stuff like that,
and so then when we're together it feels fine. But
then through texts like what's happening? And I get it,
you can be a bad text That's totally fine.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, but dating you just say, dating is hard, Like
it is really hard, and I'm glad you have us
to be able to call and kind of just vent
because let's be honest, we really didn't get to the
bottom of anything. But you feel like better, I'm sure
because you kind of got to chat about it.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
But it why are.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
We We're out here playing these games and it's just like,
why can't two people just like each other and that
be the thing?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Options and people.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
I've been single for about three years and I've been
trying to find someone forwards one over like a year
and a half and it's like a like a repeating
cycle and I'm like so tired of it because this
dating pool nowadays is so like I'm looking for that
old love where it's like nothing like taxi just straight
not streight ard, but of course, like just something like that.
(11:09):
It's just easy. It's not easy to get.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
But you know what I mean, Listen, even when you
find it like even when you find it and you
get married and you have kids, like I had to
take the trash out last night, So not everything's perfect, okay,
like thing there's.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Is this, There's no perfect there's no perfect relationship.
Speaker 8 (11:23):
So hard, like sometimes you're like, do I put too
much pressure on? Do I put too much pressure? If
I don't put enough pressure, They're not gonna like me.
If I put too much pressure, They're gonna think I'm crazy.
It's to find the balances.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
It's hard, it's crazy, Anonymous. I'm gonna well wrap this up.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I do think you wait until the next time y'all
hang out, But there's a girl on hold that actually
wants to comment on your situation. So hang up with us,
but then turn the volume back up so you can
hear what she has to say.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
And thanks for the calling. Good luck, keep us posted.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Thank you well do Thank you so much.
Speaker 7 (11:53):
Guys.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
All right, good luck. Jenna. You're in Warwick. Shout out
to Warwick. My mother used to live there. I like
Rhode Island. You are listening.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
This is ringing a bell to you because you kind
of were in the same exact position and you think
she needs to run get rid of him.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
She does she needs to run. She sounds oh, she
sounds like such a sweet, sweet girl. And I honestly,
I've been swing over the last two and a half years.
I went through the same thing. I was with this
person for almost three years, three years that I was
getting placed. So he would do the same thing.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
He'd be there.
Speaker 6 (12:29):
We text all the time, and then out of nowhere,
my text would turn green, and I'm like, all right,
that means it either phone either died or he blocked me.
So we were never friends on social media, like never.
I'm not a big social media user. He isn't really
either because of his job. I then looked and found
(12:50):
out that he had a girlfriend, and I called him
out on and I was like, all right, so this
is why you should have just been honest in the
get go and like said you didn't want anything.
Speaker 5 (12:59):
Serious with me.
Speaker 6 (13:01):
Then he would break up with her and then I
would be the backup. So I let this happen for
like almost three years, Like that was my fault.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
I let it have it.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
But that's a long time to let that. Yeah, that's.
Speaker 6 (13:15):
And I'm like her, like I needed the reassurance. I
never got it. And then I was like I settled
for it. But I for advice for her is to
stop looking. Stop looking Like I stopped looking. I worked
on healing. I worked on myself, and now I know
like I am worth so much more than what that
piece of crap gave me. Yea, and she is, No,
(13:36):
it really is to I. They're like love bombers, so
like he's so willing to do things for her and
then just stop, like stop talking, all right, Jeva.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Well she's listening and I and I appreciate you film
inclined to call her and tell her, hey, stop wasting
your time. I'm glad you got out of that and
started dating yourself. I mean, seriously, you got to love yourself,
you know. Yeah, all right, bib, thanks for that.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
Like once you stop like looking, once you stop rely
like need not reassurance on men and get it from yourself,
you'll be so much better. Like she sounds like such
a sweet, sweet girl, and one day she will find
the man that's for her. But correctional officers and police
officers and firefighters, they're not.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
It for a second.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Why it burns down, damn not the firefighters for the
love of God, goodbye.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
You know what she can't say that, like she chased
the guy for three years, That's what I'm saying. Yeah,
so she doesn't say it. But also too, it's four
days that they've been They've been on four dates, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
So she needs to ease back.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
I know what people are gonna say, because I don't
have a dog in the fight. I'm not single.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
But when I hear these stories sometimes I'm like, if it's.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Not easy, I don't easy, I guess not the right word.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
But like if things aren't just flowing naturally and there's
well he's not to end your read.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Then it might just not be the situation for you,
Like it shouldn't be this.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Hard, No exactly, and it's giving the vibe he's not
digging at all.
Speaker 8 (15:08):
But some people, again you go back to the other
side of the coin. Some people are not big Texas,
like you know what I mean. So it's like.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Going, yeah, can you agree though, hey, have a good night.
All you have to do is thumbs up, it heart it,
I mean something.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
It just it seems also response something, Yeah, just leaving
it all right. It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
With that being said, shout out to the correctional workers,
the firefighters, and the police officers.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Jenna, how dare you?
Speaker 4 (15:32):
Jenna?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
The hell six one seven nine three one six one
seven nine three one one nine four five. We're talking dating,
love relationships. It's beyond the Swipe on man Jim, Hi, everybody.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
It's Astley in the gym in morning Show. We're doing
beyond the swipe right now. We're talking dating, love relationships
everything in between. It's the new reimagine Tender Tuesday. Keith
In is in Webster. Hi, Keithan, good morning.
Speaker 7 (16:00):
Hey Ashley, how are you?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
I'm good?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So what are your I know you were just listening
and you heard our girl talking about how she's not
really getting the same kind of text vibe from the guys.
He's not really reciprocating her messages and you have a
little PSA for women on this one.
Speaker 7 (16:18):
I mean, so at the end of the day, I'm
sitting here listening rite me and myself. I've been single
for a couple of years. Long story short. We parent different,
you know, that's all. I'm a safe about that. But
you know, you know I've been single for a couple
of years. I'm a very busy, you know, uh professional,
you know I have a great career. You know, I
work every day, I come home, I eat, I sleep,
(16:41):
and really that's what I do, right, So I don't
really have time much time to be out on the
dating life. But you know, I kind of got the
apps here and there, and you know, I put my
you know, put myself out there a little bit and
really don't get too too much like right, But for me,
it was ross ten twelve years of my life. So
after two years, I'm still kind of not ready, but
(17:04):
you know, I'm still looking right. So, but what I'm
hearing from these females is, you know, they're kind of
shooting theirself on the foot, right. So guys aren't wired with, uh,
the same emotions and feelings that females have. Right. So
when when I'm hearing a female saying listen, you know,
I'm feeling a different way because he's not liking my text,
(17:27):
it's just crazy to me. Right. So if I'm at
work and I'm working every day, and you know, if
I don't get right back to you, it's not the
end of the.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
World, right, I get that, can I just I'm playing
Devil's avacant here?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
It's fine.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
That's when you were at work but that because that
wasn't the situation. He's out with his buddies, he's drinking,
she says, have a great night. That text should be acknowledged.
Speaker 7 (17:50):
Right, So if if if something isn't there, there could
be something up. But you know what if there wasn't, right,
are we jumping to the gun? Right? So let you
really know. And again, if you're involved with somebody, there
should be constant contact all day, every day, right, without
a doubt. If you're interested, you know, if you're not interested,
(18:11):
obviously those texts are going to get you know, avoided
and not liked and stuff like that. But you know,
for me to hear that will change your whole perspective
on the thing is just crazy to me.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Okay, So I get what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Basing everything strictly on text messages is yeah, I get
that part.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
I think she had a combo of other things.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
But she's certainly feeling a type of way a certain
distance because the way they were communicating was different in
the first couple of weeks.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
That was what she was trying to say.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
So I think you could understand if the girl, if
you meet somebody and you guys are hot and heavy,
and you're texting a lot, and she's responding to your
text message. Is to all of a sudden not re responding,
not saying morning, not saying good night.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
It's you're going to think to yourself, what's up?
Speaker 7 (19:04):
What happened? But she also said that you know, they
see each other four times, they you know, did whatever
on the third time, and now all of a sudden
he's not there. Right, think to yourself what happened? Right? So,
uh again, just just you know, giving it on both sides,
you know. Again. I'm on my way to work, just
(19:25):
listening to you guys. Every morning. I never I always
say to myself, I should call, I should saw it,
and then I don't. Right, But you know, because I
hear all this dating and and you know again, I've
been singing for two years. I don't have the time.
I'm a busy professional, uh you know for me, you.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Know, busy working man made claim.
Speaker 5 (19:48):
Work.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
And that's it, guys, Just try to work. What you're
getting at, Keathan is what we all are. It's hard
out there, like it's not easier. Nobody's trying to do
like live their life and find love and do all
the things. And it's just not easy. Hit me with
one more one hundred percent out before I let you go.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Thanks, Boddy. No, it least, it's just not easy.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
And I understand what he's saying too, like, wow, we're
out here basing a likeness level, I guess on a
text message, which is stupid.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
But her point was like it was one way and
then it totally switched to another way.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
You're going to think to yourself what happened?
Speaker 4 (20:28):
And I think our feelings are valid.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I don't think he's set into her, and I think
like he's trying to fade away, but she doesn't really
want to see it.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
She wants to force it in there.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
And listen again, you don't respond to a text will
while you're at work. Okay, fine, but you're out at
some point, you're out in you're out with your boys
and she says have By the way she's that doesn't
happen often either. Some girls want to talk the whole night. Yo,
you're out with your boy, your your boys, like I
want to chat. She's saying, have a good night, good night,
give it a heart.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Maybe if she would have said come through when you're done,
that's a different story. He'll be like, ah bet, maybe
yeah she did what.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
That's what and that's what.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
One would not you, but one maybe maybees I appreciate
all the feedback. Tender Tuesday is now beyond the swipe,
and you know, it's more we want to give you
the time.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
It's more than just tender. We love you.
Sadly and the Morning Show with DJ four and it's
saw t Morning.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Bustin's number one for hip hop jam in ninety four
or five.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Hi Babes, listen for the ogs of this show.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
It's still tender Tuesday to you. We're just switching up
the name to that way. Everybody, even the new I
like it. I think Beyond the Swipe makes it what
it is like it's not we talk just dating in general.
And some people that join the show and they're new
to it, they hear tender Tuesday and they're like, well, wait,
does it just have to be a tender story.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
It doesn't, and I try to explain that.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
But I think calling it beyond the Swipe, like the
combos are more than just that.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
It makes sense. And it's still up on the boards
on you get to erase that you've moved on. We've
moved on. Actually clip this and.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Post this on Instagram so people know this segment while
it still is its OG form.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Of Tender Tuesday.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
We're gonna call it Beyond the Swipe because it is
about dating, it's about love, it's about relationships. It could
be about tender, but there's also other thing. There's hey, Ash,
just get out of a relationship. I need your advice. Hey, Ash,
I want my ex back. What should I do? You know,
it's it's all of the things and beyond this wipe
encompasses that sense. That's what we're calling.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
We're gonna kick it off with Anonymous, who is in
a situationship high Anonymous.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Good morning, Good morning. So we've been talking for about
one month. Thirty days. Where'd you meet?
Speaker 5 (01:26):
We actually met on Tenderer, but we've known each other
since middle school, so you you kind.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Of linked back up on tender is what you're saying.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
Yeah, yeah, because I moved out of that town and
we always kept each other on socials, but we never
really started anything.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Got it.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
I guess had a cross on me back then. So
when I like got an on Cinder, that's when he
kind of came forward with that.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
All right, So about thirty days, where'd you guys go?
In the first date?
Speaker 5 (01:59):
The first day we went to onto, like this Mexican
restaurant and we just had the mosta but then we
had a meal and then everything went great. We caught up.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
We loved it.
Speaker 5 (02:11):
I loved it.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
So what is the downfall?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Right now?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Because I can sense it there's something what's going on.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
So like we've been on a like a few more dates,
and then that during that time, I was moving, so
he was actually helped move with moving and then like
I had a car problem at one point he was
like toting me out with that, and then everything was
going great with like the texting, and I want to say,
like around my feet two or week, like weeks two
and a half to freeze, Like he's just the texting
(02:39):
just like declined, like big time. Like he has his
freedom of the guns, but he would always just freet
my message to answer within hours or like say like oh,
I'm ecousy at work, which I totally understand, but then
you're you're telling me you get off at five and
you want to text me two in the morning.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Oh what are you doing?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
And then I, as much as I don't want to
play games, I just kind of ignore it. I'll answer
them when I answer him because I'm not going to
waste my energy on him, and then he'll just text
me and everything goes back to normal.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
So now you're just trying to prove a point, which
is kind of tough because you're only thirty days in
this relationship.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
This should not be happening this soon. What about just happening?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I mean, I don't know, guys, if you think it
might be too soon and he might be scared if
she does this, but could you not talk to him
about it and be like, hey, I feel like the
texting has kind of changed, like what's up?
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Yeah, well, like I've done that. I've done that in
the past with like other people that I've talked to
like that. They've talked for maybe like a.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
Month and then I'm just like, hey, is everything good?
Speaker 5 (03:46):
Looks us like I feel that he's a little bit
of a paint and that kind of spears them away.
I don't know what's with the taking school with men,
but once he says something like that, they intendially just fold.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Well that's what I say, and it could give stage five.
But I'm wondering, like something clearly changed in the two weeks.
Maybe you had him do too many things, you had
car problems, he had to move you. Maybe he was
like I just met her, I'm not her boyfriend. Why
am I doing this?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
So my thing on that is that I've never really
asked for my help for his help kind of in
like grautitude himself. He's like, oh, like, I know a
friend I can help you with, Like he can help
you with your car real quick, and YadA, YadA YadA.
And then he came over that night after his friend
helped with my car. And then the next day he said, oh,
he wanted let me take you to like combat so
we can go look at cars for you and stuff
(04:32):
like that.
Speaker 7 (04:33):
So it's not like.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
I'm asking to do it. He's like doing it himself,
which I liked. I was like, oh, maybe he's really
feeling interest to me, right, So I don't know how
that well.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Unfortunately I'm a you know, journalist, and I'm gonna have
to get all the details.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Four weeks have we have? We we have?
Speaker 5 (04:53):
We have?
Speaker 3 (04:54):
What week did we Yeah?
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Week three and that's when the other time and that
was around when my car.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Okay, so around week three he helps you out with
the car, we go to we go and then now
we're kind of seeing a decline in text.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Here's that the read receipts are are the devil because.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Nobody, nobody can sit here and lie and say it
wouldn't frustrate them when they send somebody a text, they
know the person who's read it, and they don't respond
for hours.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
You know, the man.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Gets off at five pm. He's not texting you till
two am.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
What are you doing exactly?
Speaker 5 (05:31):
No, I totally agree. And so at that point, I'm
at the point, like, for example, this morning, like I
texted him last night because he was out with his
friends drinking and stuff. So all I said that I
was going to sleep because I worked hard, and I
said good night as some be safe. And then when
I woke up in the morning, like after I fell asleep,
like an hour after I fell asleep, I do that
(05:52):
he read it, but never he said like, oh good night,
or I made a whole safe before I.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Don't like it from us, or like at minimum heart it.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Did you had you text him?
Speaker 8 (06:01):
Had you text him before that? Like during the day,
like had you guys been talking or do you find yourself?
Speaker 7 (06:08):
I think.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Giving away.
Speaker 5 (06:15):
It's given me that And so I'm not the point
where I want to ask you guys at this point,
what should I do? Should I try to have that
talk with him, or should I give him the same
energy or how do you feel?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
I mean, I guess it's how you feel about.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Him he doesn't feel the same, but we don't know
that maybe, but it's a good conversation to have it.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
And I think, I think you, I do think you
could have that convo.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
But I think what his response is, you have to
really like take a face value if he if he
says like, I don't know when feelings have a way
about this, like you have to be okay, you might
get that response.
Speaker 8 (06:44):
We're care enough to even have that convo, like do
you really feel this guy like that? If you don't,
why even go down that podcast? But like it is
what it is, and you lessen your energy too, and
see what he comes back with.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
So I remember like when we not like exactly when
we first started talking, but there was a time where
I was like we were talking about like our wants
and how we feel and like how we are and stuff.
And I told him, I'm like, I'm a person that
loves reinsurance just because I've been played too many times
in the past and I've been single for about three
years now. And I told you, like, I was like, yeah,
(07:19):
you can't put that on him.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
You really can't about it. You're gonna drive yourself insane.
If you keep expecting him pressure for him too.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
And it's been one month, you know what I mean,
Like one month is a long it's just not enough.
Speaker 7 (07:35):
You know.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
I worry about this with my girlfriends sometimes.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
You know, you go out, you have a couple of days,
you're like, Wow, this is great, and you put too
much pressure on the guy, and then they run away.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
I got it.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I just I don't.
Speaker 8 (07:45):
Invest too much into it too quickly, like let it
play out. But again, it depends on how much you
like this dude. If you really like him, then I
would say have the convo.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
I do like him because when we're together, we're like,
it's like nice, it's like we're really like any time
with each other. We do things together, like he says it,
like he's like, oh this is going great and stuff.
But then when it comes to the texting is when
it's like off. And so I I text when I
can because I'm working crazy hours and so we do
(08:16):
the same thing because he's also he's a he works
at a like I think a base and he's a
correctional officer and so he has worked those crazy hours
and I give him this space. I do whatever, Like
we don't mean up all the time. Like in total,
we've only met up maybe like four times, like once
a week, So like, I give him this space. I
let him do his thing, But I don't know it's
(08:38):
when it comes to the texting is let's like throw
me off. And I know I shouldn't rely on the texting,
but we live in a day where everyone's text every.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Oh yeah, what what surbiage? Guys what verbiage?
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Because I do think you should she should send the text,
but well, how do how do we word it?
Speaker 3 (08:52):
So he's not like.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
I think what you need to do is kind of
put it forward, like where do you see this going
in the next couple of months, not say why aren't
you texting back?
Speaker 4 (09:00):
I would kind of say where.
Speaker 8 (09:02):
If he's already feeling like she's pressuring him, that might
be like damn, this chick that is relentless. You know
what I'm saying, It's like you only hung out four times,
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
I think I think. I don't think it's a text conversation.
Speaker 8 (09:13):
I think you called, you call him on the phone,
and then you just have the comfo be like hey,
look I've noticed, like you know, things have changed a
little bit. I'm just kind of wondering where you're at
with this space. I'm cool with whatever you want. I
just don't don't feel.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Pressure one beyond that.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Why don't we wait and set up the next meeting
and then the next time you guys are actually physically together,
because you feel like that's where he's you know, the
most honest and up front of you. You you just chat
with him about it then text saying he's gonna w yeah,
but can I just say ps A, if somebody sends
you a text like that, like have so much fun tonight,
heart it, thumbs up it, acknowledge, like just give me.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
I mean, that's that is I don't like that. I'm
with you on that.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Like if it was just a simple like like a
heart it, I would have been fine, right, Like.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
No, less that I said it, it's weird and you
know he's up now, and it's just I don't Yeah,
I get it.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
And yeah, So that's that's kind of where we're going
through because again, like when we're together, it's perfect, it's fine.
And I've asked him like the last time when we
met up, i said, I'm all like, oh, are we good?
And he's like, yeah, we're perfect and stuff like that,
and so then when we're together it feels fine. But
then through texts like what's happening? And I get it,
you can be a bad text That's totally fine.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Yeah, but dating you just say, dating is hard, Like
it is really hard, and I'm glad you have us
to be able to call and kind of just vent
because let's be honest, we really didn't get to the
bottom of anything. But you feel like better, I'm sure
because you kind of got to chat about it.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
But it why are.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
We We're out here playing these games and it's just like,
why can't two people just like each other and that
be the thing?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
Options and people.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
I've been single for about three years and I've been
trying to find someone forwards one over like a year
and a half and it's like a like a repeating
cycle and I'm like so tired of it because this
dating pool nowadays is so like I'm looking for that
old love where it's like nothing like taxi just straight
not streight ard, but of course, like just something like that.
(11:09):
It's just easy. It's not easy to get.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
But you know what I mean, Listen, even when you
find it like even when you find it and you
get married and you have kids, like I had to
take the trash out last night, So not everything's perfect, okay,
like thing there's.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Is this, There's no perfect there's no perfect relationship.
Speaker 8 (11:23):
So hard, like sometimes you're like, do I put too
much pressure on? Do I put too much pressure? If
I don't put enough pressure, They're not gonna like me.
If I put too much pressure, They're gonna think I'm crazy.
It's to find the balances.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
It's hard, it's crazy, Anonymous. I'm gonna well wrap this up.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I do think you wait until the next time y'all
hang out, But there's a girl on hold that actually
wants to comment on your situation. So hang up with us,
but then turn the volume back up so you can
hear what she has to say.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
And thanks for the calling. Good luck, keep us posted.
Speaker 5 (11:51):
Thank you well do Thank you so much.
Speaker 7 (11:53):
Guys.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
All right, good luck. Jenna. You're in Warwick. Shout out
to Warwick. My mother used to live there. I like
Rhode Island. You are listening.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
This is ringing a bell to you because you kind
of were in the same exact position and you think
she needs to run get rid of him.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
She does she needs to run. She sounds oh, she
sounds like such a sweet, sweet girl. And I honestly,
I've been swing over the last two and a half years.
I went through the same thing. I was with this
person for almost three years, three years that I was
getting placed. So he would do the same thing.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
He'd be there.
Speaker 6 (12:29):
We text all the time, and then out of nowhere,
my text would turn green, and I'm like, all right,
that means it either phone either died or he blocked me.
So we were never friends on social media, like never.
I'm not a big social media user. He isn't really
either because of his job. I then looked and found
(12:50):
out that he had a girlfriend, and I called him
out on and I was like, all right, so this
is why you should have just been honest in the
get go and like said you didn't want anything.
Speaker 5 (12:59):
Serious with me.
Speaker 6 (13:01):
Then he would break up with her and then I
would be the backup. So I let this happen for
like almost three years, Like that was my fault.
Speaker 5 (13:08):
I let it have it.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
But that's a long time to let that. Yeah, that's.
Speaker 6 (13:15):
And I'm like her, like I needed the reassurance. I
never got it. And then I was like I settled
for it. But I for advice for her is to
stop looking. Stop looking Like I stopped looking. I worked
on healing. I worked on myself, and now I know
like I am worth so much more than what that
piece of crap gave me. Yea, and she is, No,
(13:36):
it really is to I. They're like love bombers, so
like he's so willing to do things for her and
then just stop, like stop talking, all right, Jeva.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Well she's listening and I and I appreciate you film
inclined to call her and tell her, hey, stop wasting
your time. I'm glad you got out of that and
started dating yourself. I mean, seriously, you got to love yourself,
you know. Yeah, all right, bib, thanks for that.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
Like once you stop like looking, once you stop rely
like need not reassurance on men and get it from yourself,
you'll be so much better. Like she sounds like such
a sweet, sweet girl, and one day she will find
the man that's for her. But correctional officers and police
officers and firefighters, they're not.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
It for a second.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Why it burns down, damn not the firefighters for the
love of God, goodbye.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
You know what she can't say that, like she chased
the guy for three years, That's what I'm saying. Yeah,
so she doesn't say it. But also too, it's four
days that they've been They've been on four dates, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (14:43):
So she needs to ease back.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
I know what people are gonna say, because I don't
have a dog in the fight. I'm not single.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
But when I hear these stories sometimes I'm like, if it's.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Not easy, I don't easy, I guess not the right word.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
But like if things aren't just flowing naturally and there's
well he's not to end your read.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Then it might just not be the situation for you,
Like it shouldn't be this.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Hard, No exactly, and it's giving the vibe he's not
digging at all.
Speaker 8 (15:08):
But some people, again you go back to the other
side of the coin. Some people are not big Texas,
like you know what I mean. So it's like.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Going, yeah, can you agree though, hey, have a good night.
All you have to do is thumbs up, it heart it,
I mean something.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
It just it seems also response something, Yeah, just leaving
it all right. It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
With that being said, shout out to the correctional workers,
the firefighters, and the police officers.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Jenna, how dare you?
Speaker 4 (15:32):
Jenna?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
The hell six one seven nine three one six one
seven nine three one one nine four five. We're talking dating,
love relationships. It's beyond the Swipe on man Jim, Hi, everybody.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
It's Astley in the gym in morning Show. We're doing
beyond the swipe right now. We're talking dating, love relationships
everything in between. It's the new reimagine Tender Tuesday. Keith
In is in Webster. Hi, Keithan, good morning.
Speaker 7 (16:00):
Hey Ashley, how are you?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
I'm good?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So what are your I know you were just listening
and you heard our girl talking about how she's not
really getting the same kind of text vibe from the guys.
He's not really reciprocating her messages and you have a
little PSA for women on this one.
Speaker 7 (16:18):
I mean, so at the end of the day, I'm
sitting here listening rite me and myself. I've been single
for a couple of years. Long story short. We parent different,
you know, that's all. I'm a safe about that. But
you know, you know I've been single for a couple
of years. I'm a very busy, you know, uh professional,
you know I have a great career. You know, I
work every day, I come home, I eat, I sleep,
(16:41):
and really that's what I do, right, So I don't
really have time much time to be out on the
dating life. But you know, I kind of got the
apps here and there, and you know, I put my
you know, put myself out there a little bit and
really don't get too too much like right, But for me,
it was ross ten twelve years of my life. So
after two years, I'm still kind of not ready, but
(17:04):
you know, I'm still looking right. So, but what I'm
hearing from these females is, you know, they're kind of
shooting theirself on the foot, right. So guys aren't wired with, uh,
the same emotions and feelings that females have. Right. So
when when I'm hearing a female saying listen, you know,
I'm feeling a different way because he's not liking my text,
(17:27):
it's just crazy to me. Right. So if I'm at
work and I'm working every day, and you know, if
I don't get right back to you, it's not the
end of the.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
World, right, I get that, can I just I'm playing
Devil's avacant here?
Speaker 3 (17:40):
It's fine.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
That's when you were at work but that because that
wasn't the situation. He's out with his buddies, he's drinking,
she says, have a great night. That text should be acknowledged.
Speaker 7 (17:50):
Right, So if if if something isn't there, there could
be something up. But you know what if there wasn't, right,
are we jumping to the gun? Right? So let you
really know. And again, if you're involved with somebody, there
should be constant contact all day, every day, right, without
a doubt. If you're interested, you know, if you're not interested,
(18:11):
obviously those texts are going to get you know, avoided
and not liked and stuff like that. But you know,
for me to hear that will change your whole perspective
on the thing is just crazy to me.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Okay, So I get what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Basing everything strictly on text messages is yeah, I get
that part.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
I think she had a combo of other things.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
But she's certainly feeling a type of way a certain
distance because the way they were communicating was different in
the first couple of weeks.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
That was what she was trying to say.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
So I think you could understand if the girl, if
you meet somebody and you guys are hot and heavy,
and you're texting a lot, and she's responding to your
text message. Is to all of a sudden not re responding,
not saying morning, not saying good night.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
It's you're going to think to yourself, what's up?
Speaker 7 (19:04):
What happened? But she also said that you know, they
see each other four times, they you know, did whatever
on the third time, and now all of a sudden
he's not there. Right, think to yourself what happened? Right? So,
uh again, just just you know, giving it on both sides,
you know. Again. I'm on my way to work, just
(19:25):
listening to you guys. Every morning. I never I always
say to myself, I should call, I should saw it,
and then I don't. Right, But you know, because I
hear all this dating and and you know again, I've
been singing for two years. I don't have the time.
I'm a busy professional, uh you know for me, you.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Know, busy working man made claim.
Speaker 5 (19:48):
Work.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
And that's it, guys, Just try to work. What you're
getting at, Keathan is what we all are. It's hard
out there, like it's not easier. Nobody's trying to do
like live their life and find love and do all
the things. And it's just not easy. Hit me with
one more one hundred percent out before I let you go.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Thanks, Boddy. No, it least, it's just not easy.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
And I understand what he's saying too, like, wow, we're
out here basing a likeness level, I guess on a
text message, which is stupid.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
But her point was like it was one way and
then it totally switched to another way.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
You're going to think to yourself what happened?
Speaker 4 (20:28):
And I think our feelings are valid.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I don't think he's set into her, and I think
like he's trying to fade away, but she doesn't really
want to see it.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
She wants to force it in there.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
And listen again, you don't respond to a text will
while you're at work. Okay, fine, but you're out at
some point, you're out in you're out with your boys
and she says have By the way she's that doesn't
happen often either. Some girls want to talk the whole night. Yo,
you're out with your boy, your your boys, like I
want to chat. She's saying, have a good night, good night,
give it a heart.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Maybe if she would have said come through when you're done,
that's a different story. He'll be like, ah bet, maybe
yeah she did what.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
That's what and that's what.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
One would not you, but one maybe maybees I appreciate
all the feedback. Tender Tuesday is now beyond the swipe,
and you know, it's more we want to give you
the time.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
It's more than just tender. We love you.
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