Beyond The Swipe: My Boyfriend Is Too Much Of A Homebody

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Dashy and the Jamie Morning Show with DJ fourn It's
so us a big morning.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Bustin's number one for hip hop im in ninety four five. Hi, everybody,
good morning. We're doing beyond the swipe here. So we're
talking dating love relationships. Ash, I'm in a relationship, I
need some advice. I'm going through a divorce. I'm trying
to find love. It's spooky out there, Ash, you wouldn't
believe it, how crazy it is being single trying to

(00:28):
find love six one seven, nine three one one nine
four five six one seven nine three one one nine
four five Those are for the most part hypotheticals, but really,
you know, dating love relationships, unless you're AJ than those,
those are.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Pretty much reality.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
If you talk to AJ about what it is to
be single and out there in the streets, I think
you would pretty much describe it as like a horror film.
At this point in time. It's spooky. It's spooky out
there and.

Speaker 4 (00:56):
Sac it is worse than I ever could have imagined
it being.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
Yeah, no, it's it's not good.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
So the latest with her obviously the guy from the
gym had a whole life, and so that's out.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
So we're back on the apps.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
Yeah, yes, and no. I browse sometimes, not as much
as I used to, But once in a while I'll
get bored and be like, let me just see what's
out there.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
What is your If you're at home board doing nothing,
go to app.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
I prefer Hinge, but right now it's a mix of
like hinge and bumble. Okay, think those are the best
quo quote unquote best.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Right, Yeah, the best you can do? So you have recently.
This one's kind of funny. Have been chatting with this guy.
Things are good going back and forth, but you're hung
up on one thing that hasn't been addressed that's in
his bio.

Speaker 4 (01:41):
Yeah, so he actually has a really good bio.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
But we'll read the whole thing. Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
My name is Blank. Former a personal trainer, now football
coach and teacher.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
I love the water.

Speaker 4 (01:51):
I love going to the beach, the pool, lakes, et cetera.
I love traveling. I love trying new foods and new restaurants.
I have two daughters, seven and four, and they are
my world. I love curvy women with pretty feet.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Bio.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
No, I was hooked.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
I'm like, this is this is great. I love curvy
women fine with pretty feet. Why are we including that
specifically in the bio? Why can't we build up to
Why can't I know, I know we.

Speaker 5 (02:21):
Got people like Santy running around?

Speaker 6 (02:25):
Is it that? Or did the feet make him warm?

Speaker 7 (02:28):
On the side.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
He has a fetish, but so did fine, But I mean,
does it have to go in the bio, Like, can't
we that about him?

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Or is he like listen, let me just get this
out of the way. I want you to walk.

Speaker 2 (02:40):
On me or do whatever with the feet, and I
just I need you to know that that's a thing.

Speaker 8 (02:45):
But you're so right though, keep it off the bio
and introduce it like down the road. The fact that
it's in the bio makes it probably a lot worse
than it is, Like it's beyond like, oh I like
pretty feet.

Speaker 6 (02:54):
It's like I want you to use those feet on me.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, I mean Foreign and I have had this conversation,
but like you know, he falls into some things. But
he's not going to come out and be like, hey,
I like ABC and D. He's gonna vet the chick.
That sounds weird to say vet, but he's going to
have a conversation and see if it could ever get
to that.

Speaker 3 (03:12):
Before he just drops that on somebody.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
This man's like, I want to do weird things with feet,
the foot fetish thing.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
You can't get behind him. I'll never understand the same.

Speaker 6 (03:21):
But I guess you're allowed.

Speaker 3 (03:23):
You know, I was going, I don't want to hear it.

Speaker 6 (03:26):
Okay, I'm gonna be honest with you.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
I don't want to because go.

Speaker 8 (03:30):
On the fetish scale, probably like the barrel, it could
get a lot worse than that.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
I agree your feet should be cut off. I agree
on that, but I mean I get it. It's like
it's just another thing that makes you want to go.

Speaker 8 (03:46):
But in your case, should we not date this guy
because he has that in his bio?

Speaker 6 (03:51):
It's not like I.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
Don't I don't know, Like, like you said, the foot
fetish thing is not the worst that it could be.
But is that something that I even want to entertain?

Speaker 1 (03:59):
Like that's why I don't know.

Speaker 5 (04:01):
Yeah, he's letting you know from jump Listen, this is
my fetish. If if you're not into the feet thing
and putting them in my mouth, I don't want you
gets what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
He likes that, he likes some some people with feet
fesh like to be walked on.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Like you don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
I like that up be up front and on it.

Speaker 3 (04:18):
But I was also using you as an example.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
I mean, he he could keep it out of the
bio and in just a few short combos, you're gonna
be able to realize if the girl's down or if
she's not. And let's let's just go ahead and say,
I think all three of us can agree in a short.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Conversation with Asa, you could tell she is not.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Now, no, well, do let us know when he's sucking
on your big toe?

Speaker 7 (04:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (04:43):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Brooklyn is in Boston. Brooklyn has been seeing a guy
for two years. You guys are opposites, polar opposites, which,
by the way, can work. I think I'm mom I'm
a good example of that. But you think he is
too much of a homebody.

Speaker 7 (05:00):
Yeah, which I'm okay with. And we've had conversations about
it and he's like been like going out and be like,
oh well, hey, like we went out this time and
we did this, And for me it's like I love that,
but like going out once every two weeks doesn't do
it for me. Like I don't know, I don't know
if it's just me being like like, I'm not asking

(05:21):
for a lot. I'm asking for like a little brunch,
maybe two drinks, come home, we can hang out, or
like dinner, bowling or maybe not even bowling because I'm
only there freely for the drinks.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
But uh, okay, So average, you'd say in a thirty
days span, like say in a month, how many times
do you guys go out?

Speaker 7 (05:42):
Maybe like four, so once a week? That's no, No,
You're you're putting it once a week where I'm putting
it as in like spontaneous during the week, maybe on
the weekends including like family and guests, and then whenever
else feels need to be Because when I was the

(06:04):
quiet called, I was like, I can't say four times
a week because that makes it sound like one time
every week? What's then for that I should be okay with?
But that's not what it is, so like and would
always me picking and like like be like, oh do
you want to do this? And I'm not saying like oh,
like one or two, I'm giving like five options. So
for me, it's like how many more times can I

(06:25):
keep on giving a person more than three options to
want to go do something other than just stay home
and watch TV? Because that's how the person was raised,
or like stay home and do things like I don't
mind saying human doing things.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
If say, Saturday night is like the night you guys
go out, right, would you be okay if you went
out every Saturday night and one of those times he
picked all of the things you did, or is going
out once every Saturday night not enough?

Speaker 7 (06:51):
No, I don't think it's that. I think that when
I offer a like a variety of things to do,
we can all pick dough. That I'm a very easy
going person. I just want to you.

Speaker 6 (07:03):
It's like a challenge.

Speaker 7 (07:05):
No, well, for Santi would be a challenge. Mean, when
I was getting myself in before, I I know my expectations.
I know your expectations has on the diamond ring, which
I don't have, nor do I want yet, So I

(07:26):
know what I was calling in before I came here.
What I'm saying, Yes, I.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Gotta ask was he like this when y'all were.

Speaker 7 (07:33):
Dating he was a little bit more outgoing. But I guess,
like maybe because I've met his family, me and his
family are really close now, I can kind of see
where he like. They all like to be home, they
all like to do whatever but for me, it's like
a Saturday or a Sunday is also expected. So like
for me, it's like, oh, Monday nights are like let's

(07:55):
go have like let's go for me, I don't like
to go bowling. Bob with doesn't have there's a place
that like they do bowling for adults on it's like
fifteen dollars an hour for a lane on Mondays.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
All right, wait, so question for you.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Have you had a combo with him about this, because
I'm wondering if you said to him, hey, like I
kind of need this in the relationship and he was like,
I'll try, and.

Speaker 7 (08:15):
I feel like you can. I feel like you can
agree with me on this. I feel like when boys
get a little bit sick, men get a little bit sick,
they just get like I'm dying, I don't want to go.
So he's kind of just like he's feeling one hundred
percent it's not okay. But then like for me, it's
like another set of point of view, like you have

(08:38):
to just go and do things and if you don't
feel okay, that's fine, but you cannot feel not okay
to do things for like two or three weeks like that.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
For me.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Is what I'm saying two or three weeks.

Speaker 7 (08:49):
Is like I don't need consistency. I don't need every week,
but I need at least consistent like four or five times.
And like I'm saying, it's not like a big thing
like you.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
Can do, like you need a little pop off of
something's spous on like a Tuesday, Hey, let's go out
and get ice cream tonight and grab it or whatever.

Speaker 7 (09:05):
I get something small as ice cream, I would even take.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yeah, well, listen, I think you got to have a
conversation with him and just reiterate that you know that
is something that you need. I think you also are
going to have to if you love him and this
is who you want to be with. Bend a little
bit too, because you know, I listen, I am married
to a homebody. Like this man doesn't want to go out.
He doesn't want to do any of it. He does

(09:30):
because I like it. But you know, if he says
he'll go out once a week, I'm happy with that
because he don't.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
He doesn't even want to do that.

Speaker 7 (09:39):
But I also feel like when you have kids, not
just just saying like I have one kid, yeah, just
like when you have your kid and you like introduce
him to that person, like your kid is expecting to
go like to the zoo or something. And for me,
it's like, that's not your expectation to want to come
out with us. But for me, it's like, if you

(09:59):
want to be with me and these are the things
that we're doing, I would expect us not for you
to come out every time because that I don't want
to make you do anything that you want to don't
want to do. But I feel like that's an honest
conversation that we should have agreed, yes.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
But can I just also, I'm just going to give
you playing devil's advocation here? Do you know how many
friends in my world right now are getting divorced because
the man was out acting crazy, cheating, has a whole
nother life on the side.

Speaker 7 (10:27):
That's like my sister's life on the space.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
Like on the spectrum of things, like the man does
go out with you, it's just not as enough as
you as you want. So I think I think there's
room for conversation here. I don't think this is the
end all be I don't think we have to end
our relationship over this, as I'm not.

Speaker 7 (10:41):
Gonna end all I just wanted to see what you're
o painting.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
I got friends catching their husbands on ring cameras talking
about like you're the one for me, So it could
it could get worse.

Speaker 7 (10:50):
You know. It's okay, I have friends catching them. They're
coworkers with other co workers. That's fine, your well. But
that's the thing that sometimes you think people that are
boring are boring, but they're actually not that boring.

Speaker 1 (11:05):
There you go.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Okay.

Speaker 7 (11:07):
So it's also like when I got you, you weren't
like this, and now that I'm with you, now we
are like this. And I know now that you're understanding,
which I get why you're like this. So I'm trying
to kind of push you out of it. We're not
all completely out of it, but I want us to
find like an easy middle ground.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
And I hope you guys do. I think you guys
can have a convo and work that out. But thank
you so much for the call. Okay, goodbye, good luck.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
What the there was no win at that porn man?

Speaker 6 (11:36):
Yeah, it's her, wait, and that's.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Talk about talk about talk about hostage, Bill Belichick.

Speaker 6 (11:41):
Wednesday night drinks, Thursday night drink.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
No, she just wants ice cream Cone.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
But the man's like, it's Tuesday, bro, Like I just
I want to watch the Last of Us, Like I'm good?
Uh six one seven nine three one six one seven nine.
We are talking i'm dating love relationships and the lack thereof.
It's be honest white, Hi, everybody, good morning. It's actually

(12:07):
in the jam of morning show. We're talking dating love relationships.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
We call it beyond this White because it is about
so many things.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Uh, Danny in Dorchester, I feel like is going to
give us a complaint, Dan that I don't know ninety
eight percent of people probably out there using dating apps
are going to say, but that's just the reality of it.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
What is what is your issue with the dating apps?

Speaker 9 (12:30):
I don't have no issue with dating apps. I have
with people, well God, judging people and not being open
and honest. I heard a lady say, well, she's talking
about the guy's profile and he mentioning me like pretty feet.
You guys jumped all over him. Yeah I'm crazy, but

(12:53):
you can just say you like pretty feet. I mean
either way, being open and honest about what he likes.

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Danny, hold on some Danny, if you and I met
on the street, okay and we're getting to know each other.
Are you within the first seven seconds of meeting me,
going to tell me that you like pretty feet?

Speaker 3 (13:13):
No, you're not. And if you tell me that you are,
you're a liar. Okay.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
All we're saying is to put it in your bio
as one of the first things I learned about.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
You is a little strange. That's not that crazy of
a statement.

Speaker 9 (13:26):
First of all, I hate like he's with a capital H.
And if I meet a lady in the first u
twenty seconds, then I looked down and see a freet
and comment on the feet. There's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
But are you going to do that?

Speaker 6 (13:39):
Is that?

Speaker 3 (13:39):
Would you do that?

Speaker 9 (13:42):
I'm not a so no, I know, yes, not okay.
I'm just saying if a guy chose to do that,
what's wrong He chose to do that, and you guys
are judging them for it.

Speaker 8 (13:53):
Because potentially he has a foot fetish and the girl
who thinks was coming to talking about it maybe doesn't
like But also that's good.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
But Danny, you gotta understand the whole point of these
apps is to read somebody's bio, judge them and decide, oh, hey,
that sounds interesting to me. I would date them, or hey,
that does not sound interesting to me. I wouldn't that.
That's why people put bios, that's why people get on
online data app cool.

Speaker 9 (14:21):
So why do we hear about the ones that she
didn't like? If she's not gonna sit here and judge them,
all we do is have.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
To hear about the people she likes. They're all married. Okay,
we hear about the people she likes, and we hear
about people she doesn't like.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
But unfortunately the ones that she has liked come to
find out they have wives.

Speaker 9 (14:41):
They have because people are not open and honest and
live double lives. And you know why, because people jump
down their throats when they say he likes.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
One for the.

Speaker 7 (15:02):
Good.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah, goes back to his feet. But you know what,
Let's let's play this game a little bit. Let's let's
dance with Danny a little bit, because just gave me
her bumble. Why don't we read a couple of bios
just ran.

Speaker 6 (15:16):
Are we judging or are we just listening?

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Let's see how they come over.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yeah, let's okay.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
So this guy is thirty nine years old, he's a
project manager. His bio, I'm just as comfortable as a
suit as I am in sweats. I like to travel
and eat new foods, and I'm looking for good conversations
and good vibes.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
That's nice.

Speaker 3 (15:33):
Okay, so would we swipe right your a?

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (15:37):
Can I all right?

Speaker 1 (15:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (15:40):
But again? Are you into traveling? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 (15:44):
All right?

Speaker 2 (15:45):
Okay, all right, here we go. Chris is thirty four.
Life is good and I'm very grateful for mine. I'm driven,
I'm ambitious, and I'm grounded in traditional values. Honesty and
communication is a must. I believe in hard work, self improvement,
and opening doors literally and figuratively.

Speaker 3 (16:00):
I am a proud dog.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Dad and the owner of more house plants than I
can know.

Speaker 8 (16:05):
A houseplant guy that's crazy walking to the house and
look like a forest and he's talking to the plants.

Speaker 6 (16:13):
That's craziness.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
Bright bye bye.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
All right, let's go to John. John said, Hey, John
went with no bio, so he's out.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
We can't.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
You're swiping left? All right?

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Fine, then it says we've matched. Now, so let's play
your opening move. What TV show would you be a
main character in?

Speaker 6 (16:37):
All right, the Office?

Speaker 3 (16:39):
There you go, buddy. All right, let's go to SB.
He's a. He's do you know him? Alright? So wipe.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
Okay, Bio, this is Nick. I'm fun and I'm outgoing.
I love the beach and chill days. You'll find me golfing,
working or working out on the weekends. Yes, I work
in Roxbury and I live in Plainville.

Speaker 6 (17:05):
Get to know me.

Speaker 3 (17:06):
Let's chat. Please don't jump to what I do for
a living.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
I like blonde, brunette, redheads, jim rats or nurses get
Brownie points.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
You're buddy, what that's weird?

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Nurses?

Speaker 3 (17:26):
He's got a handsome too, all right.

Speaker 1 (17:27):
Six women who are ambitious and take money. Nurses make
good money.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
But I can't. A j is not a nurse. So
I gotta go. Which way do I go?

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Left? Left? All right?

Speaker 3 (17:37):
One more? Here we go. This guy's thirty four years old.
Well he's out. He went to Cornell.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
But yeah, yeah, yeah, you're one way is bio? Your
one way ticket to dinner? Dates and validation must be
okay with thought provoking convos, little thoughtful acts of kindness
and the occasional nap where you'll always be the little spoon.

Speaker 6 (18:02):
He sounds like an amazing guy, but for.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
One of the profiles. Go but how there.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
How dare this guy go to Cornell? He's out when
it comes to heart, man, this was fun?

Speaker 1 (18:15):
Like the profile really hook you? Was it the pictures
that hook you? Like? I'm just curious because I'm not
on these apps.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
If I was, I would go, you know, I would.
I would read the bio and I thought kind of
was interested. Then I would dig more in the pictures.
But if I read the bio? So, which which way
is we? Let's go to one?

Speaker 1 (18:30):
Morris is funny?

Speaker 3 (18:31):
Which way do I go? If I don't want them?

Speaker 1 (18:32):
Left?

Speaker 3 (18:33):
God, I'm so bad at online dating.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Another left? He doesn't have a bio? Okay, here this
is this is a long one.

Speaker 3 (18:39):
He's thirty eight years old.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Okay, I'm calm, I'm collected, and I enjoy learning. I
studied international languages and sports management in France, and I
like to work with my hands and use my strong grip.
I also enjoy traveling, meditation, new food, coffee, working out, sports,
cars and motors ccles. I'm adventurous and spontaneous. And then

(19:04):
he wrote short hair.

Speaker 6 (19:06):
Like he has short hair or he likes short hair.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
He oh wow, he does not have short hair, So
the girl has to have short hair, which volunteers people.

Speaker 6 (19:17):
That's weird, right.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Weird because girl has to have to call them finger
waves or whatever.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
What the hell? This online dating is not from me,
This is what you know what. Danny has a point.
That's fine, he wins,