April 17, 2024 • 27 mins
Toxic relationships are everywhere so how can you escape them? Riley and Cameron shed some light on their past and suggestions that could help!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
What's up? Hello? Hello?How are you? CAMMI doing good?
You know what we haven't been doing? What? Welcome back to the Ada
Girl Podcast. Coming back. Ihaven't even mentioned what this is called anymore.
We're just like, yeah, y'allknow, Yeah, I'm welcome back
the pod. You know, y'allknow how it is. You know,
the Ada Girls Podcast. It's Wednesdayfor y'all. Happy Wednesday or Thursday.
(00:27):
Yeah, whatever, we're listening tothis on Thursday day, Happy day,
Happy week. Yeah, this isgonna be a good week. I think
I'm feeling great this morning. No, me too. I wasn't feeling great
this weekend because I still am unsureI might have competed in my last week
ever, so like twenty years ofathletics might be gone. Yeah that's insane
(00:49):
to think about. Yeah, butbut we don't know yet. You don't
know, and that gives you theopportunity to shift your doors even more.
Yes, it's just when you're ideais like, oh, I'm athletic,
I'm sure. Now I'm like,well, am I still because I don't
have a sport? What is that? Like? Wait? What does this
mean? No? You're good,You'll be fine. So it's a little
(01:10):
bit of like I think I hadan anxiety attack where I couldn't start crying
after the meat, like a littlebit of an idea crisis. Yeah.
Yeah. And then bulldog Man Itold him that. I was like,
I'm really gonna need you over thenext few weeks because I'm I think I'm
gonna forget who I am because whatthis is all you've ever known? What?
So that's in that. But thenI had a long talk with my
(01:33):
dad this morning, and then itmade me feel a lot better because I'm
a planner. Yeah, it's likeI have to know, like, wait,
what am I moving? What?What season is next? Like what
am I moving into? I haveto have somewhat of an idea or else.
I get that. I get that. Yeah, I'm the same way.
I don't like so I think dailyI fly by the seat of my
(01:53):
pants. Yeah daily I do,yes, but I don't. I don't
want to live that way. Noif that makes it, No, that
makes it since, Oh that makestotal sense. So that's kind of been
whatever. I think I might gosee bulldog Man this weekend. I haven't
seen him, and I know ithasn't been that long. What two weeks
or I mean, I get that, but I tell you what, so
we didn't. So the thing that'sdifferent with us, we didn't start in
(02:16):
the same place and then do distance, right, So distance really does suck
right now, like yeah, likeespecially having a day like I did Saturday
after competing and all I wanted wasto see him, and then he had
just finished a game and was goingout with his friends and stuff. So
it was like, well, thissucks. Yeah, Like I really would
love to be able to just likebe with you right now, like see
(02:36):
you whatever. So that's just toughwhen doing distance, but it is what
it is. I think I'm gonnago see him this weekend just because I
really miss him, but he should. It's it's a fun feeling like missing
someone, yeah, and actually leaningon someone for support, like I yeah,
like actually talking about like real stuffwith someone and you know what I
(02:57):
So this is kind of crazy too. We talked about this last night on
FaceTime. One thing I told himthat I really appreciate about him is that
even though he's very successful what hedoes, he never looks down on me
for what I do. Yeah,Like he is a guy who has so
much confidence he reminds me of likea Travis Kelce in terms of very successful
what he does, works hard atit, very proud of what he does,
(03:20):
but always supports me and what Ido and never looks down on me.
Right, Yeah, and I knowthat that's what you should want and
that's what everybody should. Oh,that's what you should be more than what
everyone should. I shouldn't be thathard to find because that should be the
normal. Yes, And so that'swhat was crazy. There's like, I
don't really know why I'm thanking youfor this, but I think it's because
I really haven't had this where youknow, there's an athlete because it's a
(03:43):
kind of an athlete thing, orhonestly, it's a lot of guys are
this way and no disrespect and I'mnot I don't mean to like group guys
into and I'm sure women can dothe same thing. Yes, Just by
the way, Tangent, that's alwaysimplied. Yes, we know it from
a female perspective talking about men,but I'm sure it goes both ways.
Absolutely always understood. You should neverhave your successes and feel like you're better
(04:05):
than somebody else just because your successis different. So that's one thing I
really appreciate about him, and Ithink it's one of those things going through
all this and I'm about to gothrough, and just like life changing in
general, it puts me back ina place of what it was like when
I was in a toxic relationship.Yeah, and it's even that much more
crazy how things should be. Iknow, it's kind of it's crazy to
(04:29):
think about. Like even last night, I was hanging out with drummer boy
new name heck yeah, and Ikept like, so we were just driving
around talking about everything, and thoseare my favorite kind of times too love.
Yes, but I kept like referencinglike my past and I would have
to like bring up another man ifI talked about my past, you know
(04:50):
what I mean? Yeah, AndI kept saying I didn't even realize I
was saying it. I was like, sorry, is that weird? Or
like sorry if I say this,is that weirds that make you feel weird?
And he called me out. He'slike, why do you keep saying
that? Why do you start everysentence with I hope this doesn't make you
feel weird? And I said.I sat there for a second and I
was like, it's the trauma.Yes, literally, I was like,
(05:13):
because I remember in my past,like bringing up a subject that involved another
man, like literally, I mayhave been telling a story about when I
was fifteen and a guy friend wasthere, and then literally I would be
stonewalled. Yes the rest of theday. Yes, and he would or
if we were in the truck,he would not speak and drive so fast
and scare me just because I broughtup That's so funny you say that,
because we were talking about different pathsand stuff, and then I would be
(05:36):
like, oh gosh, she's gonnaget quiet, and then he'd ask me
more about it. Yes, andI'm like, wait, oh, oh
wait, You're not uncomfortable talking aboutthe fact that I've dated other people other
than you. Yes, And it'sit's oh wait, you realize I wasn't
born the day before I make itright, You realize I had a life
right before you. Sorry, insane, But like I thought, and I
hate to say it, but Ithought that was normal. Yeah, And
(05:58):
like coming out of it and beingon the other side and actually learning that
Hey, that's it's it's very normalto talk about your past and to let
people understand maybe why you are theway you are. Yes, And I
think That's why he asks more questionsbecause he wants to get to know me
what I've been through, how tohelp me through it, because his biggest
thing is too, is like Inever want to put you through an ounce
of what you went through, andalso like I want to be able to
(06:20):
help you relearn how to be lovedyes, or how to not shove your
feelings. Yeah, Like it's okayto talk about how you feel. And
I'm like, are you sure,Like are you gonna ignore me? Are
you gonna yell at please? Don'tyell at me? Are you gonna just
get quiet and like pretend I don'texist even anyways? Yeah? Yeah,
are you gonna punish me by beingsilent? Stonewalling? That's a term.
(06:41):
It's a term. So I didlook up before the pod. Okay,
some signs that you're in a toxicrelationship just because so in my personal life
right now, I do have afriend who's going through something that is very
too familiar to me. I hatethat. Yeah, And I just think
(07:03):
that obviously she's not the only onegoing through it, and I'm sure there's
hundreds of women going through it,and you're so not alone, and it's
so I think it's more normal thanwe'd like to admit or think, or
even think about. How many freakingsongs are out there right that are so
relatable And I'm like, if someonewrote lyrics to this and the whole world
(07:26):
is listening to it, we arescreaming it. Yes, we are all
relating to toxic relationships. Yeah,so this is out of order. But
one of the ones said, like, what we've been talking about, I
didn't even know what that was.Your partner is constantly stonewalling you. It
says having a fight doesn't mean yourrelationship is toxic. But if your sick
(07:46):
significant other is always shutting down whenyou try to bring up what's bothering you,
that's what some therapists calls stonewalling.Stonewalling occurs when your partner stops listening
to you and says they don't wantto talk about said issue, acts unresponsive,
or even straight up walks away whenyou want to discuss something of importance.
Yeah, it's a thing that makesme want to cry, I know,
(08:07):
because it says healthy couples are opento each other's feedback. You should
be invested in each other's happiness andseeing what you can do both do to
communicate more effectively. So, okay, this is wild because like bulldog Man
and I have not had literally anyissues at all. He's just the sweetest
human being ever. But we hada little bit of frustration over the weekend
and his text were paragraphs back inresponse to things, and it was so
(08:30):
sweet and he wanted to talk aboutit. It was like, are you
sure you okay? Well what canI do? And the way he was
reassuring me was awesome, but itwasn't the reassurance I needed for the situation
that was happening. Yeah. Sothen I was like, can we just
talk on the phone like texting,I don't think we're getting our points across
to one another. So he facetimedyesterday and he just wanted to talk through
everything for everything to be okay,and it was so I have not had
(08:52):
that yeah yeah, and probably genuinelysix or seven years. Yeah, So
that was crazy to me. Andthen like wanting to have a resolution,
wanting to be like, okay,well, this is part of us like
learning and growing and knowing how tosupport one another better or know how to
handle things better. And it wasthe craziest thing to me because like that
I had been stonewalled, oh allthe time, all the time, and
(09:15):
instead of telling me that something upsethim, just ignore me. And you
know it's crazy about that. Iwonder if you dealt with this too.
It's like they would stonewall and thenwhen they felt or after you got quiet
and you were going to sit inanother room even or whatever, then that's
when they wanted to talk. Yes, And so it's manipulative, yes.
And my mom always told me shethought it was his way of getting a
(09:39):
reaction out of me. Yes,to think that I to show that I
cared, Like me crying and beingso upset was him being like, oh,
well now I got her to actuallyshow that she cared. Yeah,
it's like his twisted way of gettingvalidation. And it was manipulative, yes,
because then it was one of thosethings where it's like, well,
I'm not going to do anything topiss him off because it's just not even
worth it to go through all ofthis. Yeah, I'm not going to
(10:00):
do anything that where he's gonna ignoreme because that gives me anxiety when I
don't hear from a few days,and then that anxiety has carried through into
now all of my relationships. Yeah, Like in situationships would drive me crazy
because I'm like, great, haveI heard from them in a few hours,
Like they're probably with someone else.They're probably pissed at me, or
I did something wrong, Like youspiral, I did the same exact thing,
same exact thing. And that's whyhim over communicating to me is literally
(10:24):
a gift from God. Genuinely.I think moving in with my brother and
Beth it's like helped I'm sorry killme. Moving in with him really helped
me because when I do have thatspiral, I just walked into the living
room like Okay, here's everything that'shappening, and I talk about and then
so I have Beth, who's likevery familiar with like therapy stuff, Like
(10:48):
she's like sweet and Iah, youknow, it's like pulling. She's like,
well, because this happened in yourpast, you're probably flipping that and
turning that into She's very, verygreat at that. Yeah. My brother,
on the other hand, just aseffective, though I don't want to
downgrade him. He's like, you'remade an idiot. He's probably gonna work.
I'm like, well yeah, butlike he can't text me at work
and he's like, you think Itext Beth when I'm working. No,
(11:11):
You're like, oh, good point. Yeah, that's a good point.
He's probably busy. He's probably itis three pm on a Monday. He's
probably like working or driving. Drewsays that he's like, what if he's
driving and I'm like, text me, why can't you text? And driver
getting a car crash? Please forme? That's what said. He's like,
oh, so he should just diebecause you need a text back.
(11:31):
You're like, if he cared,you really like it. I'm like,
you know what, good point.But so I have like the sweet like
explanation side and the snap out ofhim. Yeah, but I help.
What's funny is my brother's the sameway because when I first started talking bulldog
man, when I talk about overthinking, oh my start to now though growth
in a month, growth We hadour one month the other day, dude,
(11:54):
yea, but growth. But atthe very beginning, I was texting
or snapping my brother and I waslike Connor, and he was just like,
why are you doing that? That'sdumb. You've got something so good
in front of you and you're gonnascrew it up, Like why are you
doing this? Like you've had crappy, crappy, crappy guys. Now you
have a good one, and you'regonna and I'm like, wait, you're
right, You're I'm gonna push someaway. You're right. There's a Laurence
(12:15):
what's her name, Lauren Spencer Smith? Yes, Yeah, there's a song
called The Aftermath that is really greatbecause let me think about the lyrics.
It's like, shoot, I'll haveto pull it up, but she Basically
the song is about how you cansometimes accidentally adopt some behaviors from your past,
(12:39):
yeah, and become the toxic one. Yeah, that was me right
after. Yeah, and you don'tmean to you oh good, and you
know and you absolutely never want todo that, and you and two like
you don't want to admit to doingthat. It's no like I've been through
toxic I'm not. I would neverdo And you don't even realize you were
about being manipulative and controlling, likehim going out with his friends the other
(13:03):
night. I was like, well, struck a nerve for a second.
Oh when he was like, I'mjust with so and so and all of
her teammates and I was like,hum, huh, yeah, what do
you mean? What was that you'rewith a group of full of gymnasts.
Awesome, they're really flexible, prettytalented fit. Yeah Leo tarts. Were
(13:26):
they wearing the mount too? Yeah, they're definitely wearing those to the bar
Rye. I mean that's literally whenI say spiral, No, I get
it. No, I totally getit. I'm like, can't help it.
But then what made me feel betteris yesterday he's like, I can
see how that looks because even myit's his best friend's girlfriend's teammates, and
he his best friend was like,dude, I don't think I would have
(13:48):
said that because it's not like it'sher entire team here, it's like her
three roommates. And he was like, yeah, I can see how that
probably was not taking very well.It's like her entire team of hot women.
Yeah, that's how I'm gonna readthat. That's exactly how I read
it. He's like, that's notwhat I said. That's how I so
I came off my phone. Idon't know, that's how I interpreted it.
(14:09):
Yeah, so something was twisted inthe transport, but that's what it
says. Yes, So, andthen I just I get to where I'm
like, no, I'm not gonnatext you while you're out enjoy being out,
like go because I'm amost like theless I know the better because my
mind spirals when I read something andI'm like, oh so you mean this,
oh so this, And he waslike yeah, everyone like keeps coming
up and like asking about you,talking about how gorgeous you are, how
(14:31):
they want to meet you, AndI'm like, well, good, all
of them should know about me.What's rotten with me? No? I
get it. I really do getit because this is so stupid. But
like, so we were talking aboutme and drummer Boy last night. We
were talking about everything. I didhave the combo with him that we were
talking about last week. Ye,I was like, yeah, I think
(14:52):
I'm being bread crumbed, but Idon't know maybe which also I mentioned bread
crumbing and like about this episode.Did someone outside this and they're like,
what even is that? I thinkthat's something after this we can talk about
that, just like stonewalling and talkingabout bread crumbing, but yeah, go
ahead, So I did. Heactually brought up the talk before I had
to Wow, I know, hejust straight up asked me, what do
(15:13):
you want from me? It's likethis is such a man. What do
you want from me? Just layit out there. Anyway. We got
through that and these are good,That's what I'll say. But the last
night we were talking about like mypast and stuff, and I was like,
yeah, I don't have the besttrack record with men whatever, and
I was talking about how like I'vebeen reached out to even recently. Just
(15:37):
by the way, I need toupdate you. He's not very happy of
the way he's being portrayed on thispodcast. Yes, I mean, and
that's a whole other thing. I'llget into that too, about toxic relationships.
Like he thinks I think this isa part one and we're gonna do
(15:58):
a part too. Yeah, I'msorry, No, we just have so
much to say. Oh goodness,I keep bumping the MinC. It's ten
thirty seven. Okay, yeah,not in a bad way. I just
that's my time, Like I thinkit is. I think I'm gonna die
at that time. Something's happened.I think you're gonna I think you're going
proposed to it ten thirty seven maybeanyways, Okay, so this is part
one of toxic relationships. But he'snot very happy, and I will say
(16:19):
so one of His complaints in hisforty five messages were that I act like
it was all bad and there wasnothing. Here's the thing about being in
a toxic relationship. It's actually agreat talking point. Of course, there
were good moments, they were right, Like, I feel like that's implied,
(16:41):
and maybe it's not. Maybe it'sof course there were great moments.
But I will say, like,when you're in a relationship like that,
like that person is your best bestfriend in the world and also your worst
enemy, you don't need to ignorethe worst enemy part. And I think
that's why I keep talking about thatpart, because it's like that's what we
(17:03):
were ignoring, and that's why wewere staying. And when you talk about
sorry chaos, I love it.I love it. We don't, by
the way, yeah, absolutely,let me just ex well, but when
(17:26):
we talk about bread crumbing, whenhe doesn't realize the good times or the
bread crumbing, yes, that's whyI shouldn't. I shouldn't be thankful that
you were nice to me sometimes no, and I shouldn't have to praise you
like, yeah, he sucked,but like he was really nice. Sometimes
I'm not gonna do that, LikeI'm just not that's not a compliment like,
(17:48):
yeah, you should be nice allof the time, right, Cool.
That's the mindset of toxic people isthey always feel like you're not grateful
for the good that they did.Yes, And I'm like, excuse points,
I'm like it really, I think, because my thing is, I'm
sorry, but the good does notoutweigh the bad. The anxiety, the
(18:10):
depression, the emotional abuse, theloss of confidence, the hurt, everything
that's toxic that comes that most definitelyoutweighs any ounce of good there is.
I forgot you touched on this.One of the signs of a toxic relationship
is your significant other is super competitivewith you, and you touched on that
earlier because bulldog Man is quite theopposite. It's always uplifting one another.
(18:34):
Because anytime with my toxic relationship,I was like, oh my gosh,
I got to go on this reallycool trip with WWE, and yeah,
I know I grew up going tothis all the time, and I was
like, oh, well we gotto go backstage. Yeah I've been backstage
plenty of times, so yeah,I went through that same thing about like
vacations like little yes, and hegrew up with in a very like well
off family and good for him,like m I'm not saying that in a
(18:56):
negative way, but he made mefeel uncomfortable some because I did not yet
like family vacation was not like aonce a year thing. Like when it
happened, it was like a reallybig deal, even if it was just
destined. Yes, you know,but it was like a really big deal.
Yes, And I would say thingslike, yeah, I've always wanted
to go here. He's like,I've been there like three times. Yeah,
(19:18):
He's like it's not that great.It's like, oh I hate that,
and yeah one thing too. Iget so excited over the little things.
Yes, And it was always likea what like always bringing me down
a notch. Always they strip awayyour self esteem, yes, like with
comments. So these examples are likeI don't like that dress, cut your
(19:41):
hair, I don't like it likethat. Why are you wearing so much
makeup? Why do you have tosee your friends tonight? I thought you
were going to stay home. Ithought you were going to cook dinner tomorrow
night and Saturday. I don't wantto go out. I heard all of
that shit, yes, all ofit, And so just makes and there's
a clear imbalance of power yes,and you always feel less than you feel
(20:04):
like you can never speak up totalk about feelings because they talk about your
emotions and being excited about things,because you're always like taking two notches down
and you're getting you get trained.Yeah, Like it's it's a slow and
that's what that's the sad thing ispeople don't know you're in it until it's
too late. Yes, because you'realready trained. You're already trained. And
another one of those points is likeif your friends and family are concerned,
(20:26):
like that might be a sign thatyou're in a more toxic relationship than you
think. And that's the biggest pointthat I have too. It's like,
I don't want you to think thatyour friends are jumping down your throat because
I pushed my friends away when theytry to got so defensive. I got
so defensive and I just stopped talkingabout him altogether. And that's an thing
too. And then what your friendsand family know, it's not even half
(20:48):
of what's going on. Yes,And if that's a red flag and it's
not even half of what's going on, yes, that's awful. Yes,
I literally have chills like this,No, I know, talking about all
of this is bad because it justmakes you like for me too, I'm
so grateful I went through all ofit because of me too. I am
now me too. And just likewhat you said, I think last week
about the person you're dating shows therespect you have for yourself or whatever.
(21:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, andthat is so true. But I think
the quality guy I'm with now Iwouldn't have been with before because I've learned
so much about myself and grown somuch. And you know what to look
for, yes, you know whatto watch out for it too, and
then you can, like for usbeing able to come on here and talk
about this and hopefully help so manypeople, I'd go through it again if
(21:33):
that means I can help ten,fifteen, twenty other women. I agree
completely, and I so another thingwhich I think we do need to dive
more into this, like next week, continue talking about signs and red flags,
because like we just said, youdon't you don't know it until it's
too late. And So what Ifinally did was God a therapist. Yeah
me too, for one, becauseI was anxious all the time. I
(21:56):
didn't even know what anxiety was untilI went to therapy. Yeah, but
I also needed help. I waslike, I don't know what to do
because anytime I try to get outof this, he gets mad at me
or attacks my character. Yes,yeah, it makes you feel like the
worst person ever for trying to getout. And that was another thing too,
like he was like, you're justgonna act like you haven't reached out
to me and you haven't done thisto me, Like yeah, just through
(22:18):
the years and stuff, like ofcourse I have, because I'll be the
first to admit that, Like that'snot a secret. Of course I've gotten
weak. Yes, we can breakup some stuff and been like Okay,
no, I actually can't handle this, Like the anxiety got too heavy and
I'm like, well, if Ijust like get back with him, it'll
be fine again. Like feeling aloneis hard, yeah, especially when you're
so wrapped up in like feeling likeshit. Yes, you know, and
(22:42):
like sometimes when you're in a toxicrelationship like that overwhelming feeling does go away
when you finally just are in theirpresence. Sometimes you feel like it's better
to be with them than be alone, and then you have to go through
the growth of finding out it's betterto be alone than be with them.
Yeah, and that's so hard.And that's why if you're listening to this
and you are going to talk tothe relationship, please listen to one Step
(23:04):
Forward, three Steps backwards, becausethat song in itself literally because it even
talks about the life until I makeyou mad, yes, or it's the
roller coasters all I ever have everhad, So you don't know any different,
And that's why you do go back, because you get so stuck in
this pattern. And so for me, with my therapist, we really talked
(23:26):
through and she knew from the momentthe first time I went in her office
that we were going to break up, but she knew it was going to
take me time to get there,and so she would even help me try
to learn how to keep conversations orarguments less heated, and how to walk
away from a heated argument and belike, you know, until you can
keep your cool and we can talkabout this respectfully, We're not going to
talk about it right now, I'mgoing to hang up. And like she
(23:48):
taught me how to handle it sothat I wasn't getting so amped up,
and so that was kind of likethe first step with her, because then
for me, I think it wasgoing through all these things where I felt
like I did everything I could andthen eventually it was like, well,
it's just ultimately there's nothing else too. And she's like, you're gonna have
(24:10):
this window to get out, yeah, and you have like you'll know when
it is. Yeah, that wasmine. He moving to yep wherever for
almost said yeah, yeah, whatever, no, not too many details,
but him moving for work was andI was like, okay, so I'm
not under his yeah, you know, like he can live a life and
(24:33):
I'm separate now yes, like physicallyyes. And that was like finally in
mine my window. Mine was somethingthat happened at night and it carried over
into the next day. I wasat Heritage House and there was a guy
next to me reading his Bible,and he called me and was like,
we're not going to talk about lastnight, and I was like, I
don't really have anything to say,like I'm done, like I'd packed on
my stuff and I knew I wasn'tgoing back to his house ever. And
(24:56):
then the man next to me readinghis Bible brought me over tissues because I
was crying in Heritage House and it'sjust like anything I can pray for you
about, and I was like,yes, actually like getting out of a
relationship. And I called my therapistand she's like, to stand a ground,
Yeah, do not go back.And so it was talking to her
for a few days, even onthe phone, talking to my family,
don't go back, don't text,don't call, nothing, and finally just
(25:17):
breaking it. And then I wenton spring break, got away with my
friends. He still tried to call, text, stay in touch and even
met back when I got back.Yeah, try to beg you still you
still have an inkling to see themand stuff and like hear them out.
Yep. Yeah, I think that'sfine if that's what you feel like you
need to do for closure or whatever. But just don't. Yeah, that's
(25:38):
gonna believe no, because you can't. You can work on like responses to
things. You can work on howto support. Of course, you can't
change a person. Yeah, Andultimately, every time you take someone back,
you're giving them more ammunition and more. You're just teaching them that it's
(26:00):
okay, I can do the worstship to this person and they're gonna come
in. They're still here. They'veproven that time and time again, so
they're not gonna stop their behavior becausethey are fine. Yep, you didn't
give them a consequence. Nope,and real one. And I can't give
someone a consequence anyways, even ifI want to do, it's just not
the person that either. Yeah,so wow, I got a little more
(26:22):
serious guys. Sorry, man,I could. I could continue this for
the next three hours, and wewill next week. We'll have a part
too, just because this is partof the reason we started at a girl,
because it's a big like at agirl, you got out of that.
So we really encourage y'all to,you know, kind of take steps
towards getting out of it. Seeka therapist, dm us, ask us
(26:44):
for help, and we can talkabout it somebody. I would love that.
I would love that. So welove y'all and girls, ain't guys
get out of those toxic relationships.Yes, they're not healthy. Sorry.
If this episode was a little bitscattered, we were. It was very
like on part of who we are. So you're welcome. Yeah, love
you guys, Love you, Byebye.
What's up? Hello? Hello?How are you? CAMMI doing good?
You know what we haven't been doing? What? Welcome back to the Ada
Girl Podcast. Coming back. Ihaven't even mentioned what this is called anymore.
We're just like, yeah, y'allknow, Yeah, I'm welcome back
the pod. You know, y'allknow how it is. You know,
the Ada Girls Podcast. It's Wednesdayfor y'all. Happy Wednesday or Thursday.
(00:27):
Yeah, whatever, we're listening tothis on Thursday day, Happy day,
Happy week. Yeah, this isgonna be a good week. I think
I'm feeling great this morning. No, me too. I wasn't feeling great
this weekend because I still am unsureI might have competed in my last week
ever, so like twenty years ofathletics might be gone. Yeah that's insane
(00:49):
to think about. Yeah, butbut we don't know yet. You don't
know, and that gives you theopportunity to shift your doors even more.
Yes, it's just when you're ideais like, oh, I'm athletic,
I'm sure. Now I'm like,well, am I still because I don't
have a sport? What is that? Like? Wait? What does this
mean? No? You're good,You'll be fine. So it's a little
(01:10):
bit of like I think I hadan anxiety attack where I couldn't start crying
after the meat, like a littlebit of an idea crisis. Yeah.
Yeah. And then bulldog Man Itold him that. I was like,
I'm really gonna need you over thenext few weeks because I'm I think I'm
gonna forget who I am because whatthis is all you've ever known? What?
So that's in that. But thenI had a long talk with my
(01:33):
dad this morning, and then itmade me feel a lot better because I'm
a planner. Yeah, it's likeI have to know, like, wait,
what am I moving? What?What season is next? Like what
am I moving into? I haveto have somewhat of an idea or else.
I get that. I get that. Yeah, I'm the same way.
I don't like so I think dailyI fly by the seat of my
(01:53):
pants. Yeah daily I do,yes, but I don't. I don't
want to live that way. Noif that makes it, No, that
makes it since, Oh that makestotal sense. So that's kind of been
whatever. I think I might gosee bulldog Man this weekend. I haven't
seen him, and I know ithasn't been that long. What two weeks
or I mean, I get that, but I tell you what, so
we didn't. So the thing that'sdifferent with us, we didn't start in
(02:16):
the same place and then do distance, right, So distance really does suck
right now, like yeah, likeespecially having a day like I did Saturday
after competing and all I wanted wasto see him, and then he had
just finished a game and was goingout with his friends and stuff. So
it was like, well, thissucks. Yeah, Like I really would
love to be able to just likebe with you right now, like see
(02:36):
you whatever. So that's just toughwhen doing distance, but it is what
it is. I think I'm gonnago see him this weekend just because I
really miss him, but he should. It's it's a fun feeling like missing
someone, yeah, and actually leaningon someone for support, like I yeah,
like actually talking about like real stuffwith someone and you know what I
(02:57):
So this is kind of crazy too. We talked about this last night on
FaceTime. One thing I told himthat I really appreciate about him is that
even though he's very successful what hedoes, he never looks down on me
for what I do. Yeah,Like he is a guy who has so
much confidence he reminds me of likea Travis Kelce in terms of very successful
what he does, works hard atit, very proud of what he does,
(03:20):
but always supports me and what Ido and never looks down on me.
Right, Yeah, and I knowthat that's what you should want and
that's what everybody should. Oh,that's what you should be more than what
everyone should. I shouldn't be thathard to find because that should be the
normal. Yes, And so that'swhat was crazy. There's like, I
don't really know why I'm thanking youfor this, but I think it's because
I really haven't had this where youknow, there's an athlete because it's a
(03:43):
kind of an athlete thing, orhonestly, it's a lot of guys are
this way and no disrespect and I'mnot I don't mean to like group guys
into and I'm sure women can dothe same thing. Yes, Just by
the way, Tangent, that's alwaysimplied. Yes, we know it from
a female perspective talking about men,but I'm sure it goes both ways.
Absolutely always understood. You should neverhave your successes and feel like you're better
(04:05):
than somebody else just because your successis different. So that's one thing I
really appreciate about him, and Ithink it's one of those things going through
all this and I'm about to gothrough, and just like life changing in
general, it puts me back ina place of what it was like when
I was in a toxic relationship.Yeah, and it's even that much more
crazy how things should be. Iknow, it's kind of it's crazy to
(04:29):
think about. Like even last night, I was hanging out with drummer boy
new name heck yeah, and Ikept like, so we were just driving
around talking about everything, and thoseare my favorite kind of times too love.
Yes, but I kept like referencinglike my past and I would have
to like bring up another man ifI talked about my past, you know
(04:50):
what I mean? Yeah, AndI kept saying I didn't even realize I
was saying it. I was like, sorry, is that weird? Or
like sorry if I say this,is that weirds that make you feel weird?
And he called me out. He'slike, why do you keep saying
that? Why do you start everysentence with I hope this doesn't make you
feel weird? And I said.I sat there for a second and I
was like, it's the trauma.Yes, literally, I was like,
(05:13):
because I remember in my past,like bringing up a subject that involved another
man, like literally, I mayhave been telling a story about when I
was fifteen and a guy friend wasthere, and then literally I would be
stonewalled. Yes the rest of theday. Yes, and he would or
if we were in the truck,he would not speak and drive so fast
and scare me just because I broughtup That's so funny you say that,
because we were talking about different pathsand stuff, and then I would be
(05:36):
like, oh gosh, she's gonnaget quiet, and then he'd ask me
more about it. Yes, andI'm like, wait, oh, oh
wait, You're not uncomfortable talking aboutthe fact that I've dated other people other
than you. Yes, And it'sit's oh wait, you realize I wasn't
born the day before I make itright, You realize I had a life
right before you. Sorry, insane, But like I thought, and I
hate to say it, but Ithought that was normal. Yeah, And
(05:58):
like coming out of it and beingon the other side and actually learning that
Hey, that's it's it's very normalto talk about your past and to let
people understand maybe why you are theway you are. Yes, And I
think That's why he asks more questionsbecause he wants to get to know me
what I've been through, how tohelp me through it, because his biggest
thing is too, is like Inever want to put you through an ounce
of what you went through, andalso like I want to be able to
(06:20):
help you relearn how to be lovedyes, or how to not shove your
feelings. Yeah, Like it's okayto talk about how you feel. And
I'm like, are you sure,Like are you gonna ignore me? Are
you gonna yell at please? Don'tyell at me? Are you gonna just
get quiet and like pretend I don'texist even anyways? Yeah? Yeah,
are you gonna punish me by beingsilent? Stonewalling? That's a term.
(06:41):
It's a term. So I didlook up before the pod. Okay,
some signs that you're in a toxicrelationship just because so in my personal life
right now, I do have afriend who's going through something that is very
too familiar to me. I hatethat. Yeah, And I just think
(07:03):
that obviously she's not the only onegoing through it, and I'm sure there's
hundreds of women going through it,and you're so not alone, and it's
so I think it's more normal thanwe'd like to admit or think, or
even think about. How many freakingsongs are out there right that are so
relatable And I'm like, if someonewrote lyrics to this and the whole world
(07:26):
is listening to it, we arescreaming it. Yes, we are all
relating to toxic relationships. Yeah,so this is out of order. But
one of the ones said, like, what we've been talking about, I
didn't even know what that was.Your partner is constantly stonewalling you. It
says having a fight doesn't mean yourrelationship is toxic. But if your sick
(07:46):
significant other is always shutting down whenyou try to bring up what's bothering you,
that's what some therapists calls stonewalling.Stonewalling occurs when your partner stops listening
to you and says they don't wantto talk about said issue, acts unresponsive,
or even straight up walks away whenyou want to discuss something of importance.
Yeah, it's a thing that makesme want to cry, I know,
(08:07):
because it says healthy couples are opento each other's feedback. You should
be invested in each other's happiness andseeing what you can do both do to
communicate more effectively. So, okay, this is wild because like bulldog Man
and I have not had literally anyissues at all. He's just the sweetest
human being ever. But we hada little bit of frustration over the weekend
and his text were paragraphs back inresponse to things, and it was so
(08:30):
sweet and he wanted to talk aboutit. It was like, are you
sure you okay? Well what canI do? And the way he was
reassuring me was awesome, but itwasn't the reassurance I needed for the situation
that was happening. Yeah. Sothen I was like, can we just
talk on the phone like texting,I don't think we're getting our points across
to one another. So he facetimedyesterday and he just wanted to talk through
everything for everything to be okay,and it was so I have not had
(08:52):
that yeah yeah, and probably genuinelysix or seven years. Yeah, So
that was crazy to me. Andthen like wanting to have a resolution,
wanting to be like, okay,well, this is part of us like
learning and growing and knowing how tosupport one another better or know how to
handle things better. And it wasthe craziest thing to me because like that
I had been stonewalled, oh allthe time, all the time, and
(09:15):
instead of telling me that something upsethim, just ignore me. And you
know it's crazy about that. Iwonder if you dealt with this too.
It's like they would stonewall and thenwhen they felt or after you got quiet
and you were going to sit inanother room even or whatever, then that's
when they wanted to talk. Yes, And so it's manipulative, yes.
And my mom always told me shethought it was his way of getting a
(09:39):
reaction out of me. Yes,to think that I to show that I
cared, Like me crying and beingso upset was him being like, oh,
well now I got her to actuallyshow that she cared. Yeah,
it's like his twisted way of gettingvalidation. And it was manipulative, yes,
because then it was one of thosethings where it's like, well,
I'm not going to do anything topiss him off because it's just not even
worth it to go through all ofthis. Yeah, I'm not going to
(10:00):
do anything that where he's gonna ignoreme because that gives me anxiety when I
don't hear from a few days,and then that anxiety has carried through into
now all of my relationships. Yeah, Like in situationships would drive me crazy
because I'm like, great, haveI heard from them in a few hours,
Like they're probably with someone else.They're probably pissed at me, or
I did something wrong, Like youspiral, I did the same exact thing,
same exact thing. And that's whyhim over communicating to me is literally
(10:24):
a gift from God. Genuinely.I think moving in with my brother and
Beth it's like helped I'm sorry killme. Moving in with him really helped
me because when I do have thatspiral, I just walked into the living
room like Okay, here's everything that'shappening, and I talk about and then
so I have Beth, who's likevery familiar with like therapy stuff, Like
(10:48):
she's like sweet and Iah, youknow, it's like pulling. She's like,
well, because this happened in yourpast, you're probably flipping that and
turning that into She's very, verygreat at that. Yeah. My brother,
on the other hand, just aseffective, though I don't want to
downgrade him. He's like, you'remade an idiot. He's probably gonna work.
I'm like, well yeah, butlike he can't text me at work
and he's like, you think Itext Beth when I'm working. No,
(11:11):
You're like, oh, good point. Yeah, that's a good point.
He's probably busy. He's probably itis three pm on a Monday. He's
probably like working or driving. Drewsays that he's like, what if he's
driving and I'm like, text me, why can't you text? And driver
getting a car crash? Please forme? That's what said. He's like,
oh, so he should just diebecause you need a text back.
(11:31):
You're like, if he cared,you really like it. I'm like,
you know what, good point.But so I have like the sweet like
explanation side and the snap out ofhim. Yeah, but I help.
What's funny is my brother's the sameway because when I first started talking bulldog
man, when I talk about overthinking, oh my start to now though growth
in a month, growth We hadour one month the other day, dude,
(11:54):
yea, but growth. But atthe very beginning, I was texting
or snapping my brother and I waslike Connor, and he was just like,
why are you doing that? That'sdumb. You've got something so good
in front of you and you're gonnascrew it up, Like why are you
doing this? Like you've had crappy, crappy, crappy guys. Now you
have a good one, and you'regonna and I'm like, wait, you're
right, You're I'm gonna push someaway. You're right. There's a Laurence
(12:15):
what's her name, Lauren Spencer Smith? Yes, Yeah, there's a song
called The Aftermath that is really greatbecause let me think about the lyrics.
It's like, shoot, I'll haveto pull it up, but she Basically
the song is about how you cansometimes accidentally adopt some behaviors from your past,
(12:39):
yeah, and become the toxic one. Yeah, that was me right
after. Yeah, and you don'tmean to you oh good, and you
know and you absolutely never want todo that, and you and two like
you don't want to admit to doingthat. It's no like I've been through
toxic I'm not. I would neverdo And you don't even realize you were
about being manipulative and controlling, likehim going out with his friends the other
(13:03):
night. I was like, well, struck a nerve for a second.
Oh when he was like, I'mjust with so and so and all of
her teammates and I was like,hum, huh, yeah, what do
you mean? What was that you'rewith a group of full of gymnasts.
Awesome, they're really flexible, prettytalented fit. Yeah Leo tarts. Were
(13:26):
they wearing the mount too? Yeah, they're definitely wearing those to the bar
Rye. I mean that's literally whenI say spiral, No, I get
it. No, I totally getit. I'm like, can't help it.
But then what made me feel betteris yesterday he's like, I can
see how that looks because even myit's his best friend's girlfriend's teammates, and
he his best friend was like,dude, I don't think I would have
(13:48):
said that because it's not like it'sher entire team here, it's like her
three roommates. And he was like, yeah, I can see how that
probably was not taking very well.It's like her entire team of hot women.
Yeah, that's how I'm gonna readthat. That's exactly how I read
it. He's like, that's notwhat I said. That's how I so
I came off my phone. Idon't know, that's how I interpreted it.
(14:09):
Yeah, so something was twisted inthe transport, but that's what it
says. Yes, So, andthen I just I get to where I'm
like, no, I'm not gonnatext you while you're out enjoy being out,
like go because I'm amost like theless I know the better because my
mind spirals when I read something andI'm like, oh so you mean this,
oh so this, And he waslike yeah, everyone like keeps coming
up and like asking about you,talking about how gorgeous you are, how
(14:31):
they want to meet you, AndI'm like, well, good, all
of them should know about me.What's rotten with me? No? I
get it. I really do getit because this is so stupid. But
like, so we were talking aboutme and drummer Boy last night. We
were talking about everything. I didhave the combo with him that we were
talking about last week. Ye,I was like, yeah, I think
(14:52):
I'm being bread crumbed, but Idon't know maybe which also I mentioned bread
crumbing and like about this episode.Did someone outside this and they're like,
what even is that? I thinkthat's something after this we can talk about
that, just like stonewalling and talkingabout bread crumbing, but yeah, go
ahead, So I did. Heactually brought up the talk before I had
to Wow, I know, hejust straight up asked me, what do
(15:13):
you want from me? It's likethis is such a man. What do
you want from me? Just layit out there. Anyway. We got
through that and these are good,That's what I'll say. But the last
night we were talking about like mypast and stuff, and I was like,
yeah, I don't have the besttrack record with men whatever, and
I was talking about how like I'vebeen reached out to even recently. Just
(15:37):
by the way, I need toupdate you. He's not very happy of
the way he's being portrayed on thispodcast. Yes, I mean, and
that's a whole other thing. I'llget into that too, about toxic relationships.
Like he thinks I think this isa part one and we're gonna do
(15:58):
a part too. Yeah, I'msorry, No, we just have so
much to say. Oh goodness,I keep bumping the MinC. It's ten
thirty seven. Okay, yeah,not in a bad way. I just
that's my time, Like I thinkit is. I think I'm gonna die
at that time. Something's happened.I think you're gonna I think you're going
proposed to it ten thirty seven maybeanyways, Okay, so this is part
one of toxic relationships. But he'snot very happy, and I will say
(16:19):
so one of His complaints in hisforty five messages were that I act like
it was all bad and there wasnothing. Here's the thing about being in
a toxic relationship. It's actually agreat talking point. Of course, there
were good moments, they were right, Like, I feel like that's implied,
(16:41):
and maybe it's not. Maybe it'sof course there were great moments.
But I will say, like,when you're in a relationship like that,
like that person is your best bestfriend in the world and also your worst
enemy, you don't need to ignorethe worst enemy part. And I think
that's why I keep talking about thatpart, because it's like that's what we
(17:03):
were ignoring, and that's why wewere staying. And when you talk about
sorry chaos, I love it.I love it. We don't, by
the way, yeah, absolutely,let me just ex well, but when
(17:26):
we talk about bread crumbing, whenhe doesn't realize the good times or the
bread crumbing, yes, that's whyI shouldn't. I shouldn't be thankful that
you were nice to me sometimes no, and I shouldn't have to praise you
like, yeah, he sucked,but like he was really nice. Sometimes
I'm not gonna do that, LikeI'm just not that's not a compliment like,
(17:48):
yeah, you should be nice allof the time, right, Cool.
That's the mindset of toxic people isthey always feel like you're not grateful
for the good that they did.Yes, And I'm like, excuse points,
I'm like it really, I think, because my thing is, I'm
sorry, but the good does notoutweigh the bad. The anxiety, the
(18:10):
depression, the emotional abuse, theloss of confidence, the hurt, everything
that's toxic that comes that most definitelyoutweighs any ounce of good there is.
I forgot you touched on this.One of the signs of a toxic relationship
is your significant other is super competitivewith you, and you touched on that
earlier because bulldog Man is quite theopposite. It's always uplifting one another.
(18:34):
Because anytime with my toxic relationship,I was like, oh my gosh,
I got to go on this reallycool trip with WWE, and yeah,
I know I grew up going tothis all the time, and I was
like, oh, well we gotto go backstage. Yeah I've been backstage
plenty of times, so yeah,I went through that same thing about like
vacations like little yes, and hegrew up with in a very like well
off family and good for him,like m I'm not saying that in a
(18:56):
negative way, but he made mefeel uncomfortable some because I did not yet
like family vacation was not like aonce a year thing. Like when it
happened, it was like a reallybig deal, even if it was just
destined. Yes, you know,but it was like a really big deal.
Yes, And I would say thingslike, yeah, I've always wanted
to go here. He's like,I've been there like three times. Yeah,
(19:18):
He's like it's not that great.It's like, oh I hate that,
and yeah one thing too. Iget so excited over the little things.
Yes, And it was always likea what like always bringing me down
a notch. Always they strip awayyour self esteem, yes, like with
comments. So these examples are likeI don't like that dress, cut your
(19:41):
hair, I don't like it likethat. Why are you wearing so much
makeup? Why do you have tosee your friends tonight? I thought you
were going to stay home. Ithought you were going to cook dinner tomorrow
night and Saturday. I don't wantto go out. I heard all of
that shit, yes, all ofit, And so just makes and there's
a clear imbalance of power yes,and you always feel less than you feel
(20:04):
like you can never speak up totalk about feelings because they talk about your
emotions and being excited about things,because you're always like taking two notches down
and you're getting you get trained.Yeah, Like it's it's a slow and
that's what that's the sad thing ispeople don't know you're in it until it's
too late. Yes, because you'realready trained. You're already trained. And
another one of those points is likeif your friends and family are concerned,
(20:26):
like that might be a sign thatyou're in a more toxic relationship than you
think. And that's the biggest pointthat I have too. It's like,
I don't want you to think thatyour friends are jumping down your throat because
I pushed my friends away when theytry to got so defensive. I got
so defensive and I just stopped talkingabout him altogether. And that's an thing
too. And then what your friendsand family know, it's not even half
(20:48):
of what's going on. Yes,And if that's a red flag and it's
not even half of what's going on, yes, that's awful. Yes,
I literally have chills like this,No, I know, talking about all
of this is bad because it justmakes you like for me too, I'm
so grateful I went through all ofit because of me too. I am
now me too. And just likewhat you said, I think last week
about the person you're dating shows therespect you have for yourself or whatever.
(21:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, andthat is so true. But I think
the quality guy I'm with now Iwouldn't have been with before because I've learned
so much about myself and grown somuch. And you know what to look
for, yes, you know whatto watch out for it too, and
then you can, like for usbeing able to come on here and talk
about this and hopefully help so manypeople, I'd go through it again if
(21:33):
that means I can help ten,fifteen, twenty other women. I agree
completely, and I so another thingwhich I think we do need to dive
more into this, like next week, continue talking about signs and red flags,
because like we just said, youdon't you don't know it until it's
too late. And So what Ifinally did was God a therapist. Yeah
me too, for one, becauseI was anxious all the time. I
(21:56):
didn't even know what anxiety was untilI went to therapy. Yeah, but
I also needed help. I waslike, I don't know what to do
because anytime I try to get outof this, he gets mad at me
or attacks my character. Yes,yeah, it makes you feel like the
worst person ever for trying to getout. And that was another thing too,
like he was like, you're justgonna act like you haven't reached out
to me and you haven't done thisto me, Like yeah, just through
(22:18):
the years and stuff, like ofcourse I have, because I'll be the
first to admit that, Like that'snot a secret. Of course I've gotten
weak. Yes, we can breakup some stuff and been like Okay,
no, I actually can't handle this, Like the anxiety got too heavy and
I'm like, well, if Ijust like get back with him, it'll
be fine again. Like feeling aloneis hard, yeah, especially when you're
so wrapped up in like feeling likeshit. Yes, you know, and
(22:42):
like sometimes when you're in a toxicrelationship like that overwhelming feeling does go away
when you finally just are in theirpresence. Sometimes you feel like it's better
to be with them than be alone, and then you have to go through
the growth of finding out it's betterto be alone than be with them.
Yeah, and that's so hard.And that's why if you're listening to this
and you are going to talk tothe relationship, please listen to one Step
(23:04):
Forward, three Steps backwards, becausethat song in itself literally because it even
talks about the life until I makeyou mad, yes, or it's the
roller coasters all I ever have everhad, So you don't know any different,
And that's why you do go back, because you get so stuck in
this pattern. And so for me, with my therapist, we really talked
(23:26):
through and she knew from the momentthe first time I went in her office
that we were going to break up, but she knew it was going to
take me time to get there,and so she would even help me try
to learn how to keep conversations orarguments less heated, and how to walk
away from a heated argument and belike, you know, until you can
keep your cool and we can talkabout this respectfully, We're not going to
talk about it right now, I'mgoing to hang up. And like she
(23:48):
taught me how to handle it sothat I wasn't getting so amped up,
and so that was kind of likethe first step with her, because then
for me, I think it wasgoing through all these things where I felt
like I did everything I could andthen eventually it was like, well,
it's just ultimately there's nothing else too. And she's like, you're gonna have
(24:10):
this window to get out, yeah, and you have like you'll know when
it is. Yeah, that wasmine. He moving to yep wherever for
almost said yeah, yeah, whatever, no, not too many details,
but him moving for work was andI was like, okay, so I'm
not under his yeah, you know, like he can live a life and
(24:33):
I'm separate now yes, like physicallyyes. And that was like finally in
mine my window. Mine was somethingthat happened at night and it carried over
into the next day. I wasat Heritage House and there was a guy
next to me reading his Bible,and he called me and was like,
we're not going to talk about lastnight, and I was like, I
don't really have anything to say,like I'm done, like I'd packed on
my stuff and I knew I wasn'tgoing back to his house ever. And
(24:56):
then the man next to me readinghis Bible brought me over tissues because I
was crying in Heritage House and it'sjust like anything I can pray for you
about, and I was like,yes, actually like getting out of a
relationship. And I called my therapistand she's like, to stand a ground,
Yeah, do not go back.And so it was talking to her
for a few days, even onthe phone, talking to my family,
don't go back, don't text,don't call, nothing, and finally just
(25:17):
breaking it. And then I wenton spring break, got away with my
friends. He still tried to call, text, stay in touch and even
met back when I got back.Yeah, try to beg you still you
still have an inkling to see themand stuff and like hear them out.
Yep. Yeah, I think that'sfine if that's what you feel like you
need to do for closure or whatever. But just don't. Yeah, that's
(25:38):
gonna believe no, because you can't. You can work on like responses to
things. You can work on howto support. Of course, you can't
change a person. Yeah, Andultimately, every time you take someone back,
you're giving them more ammunition and more. You're just teaching them that it's
(26:00):
okay, I can do the worstship to this person and they're gonna come
in. They're still here. They'veproven that time and time again, so
they're not gonna stop their behavior becausethey are fine. Yep, you didn't
give them a consequence. Nope,and real one. And I can't give
someone a consequence anyways, even ifI want to do, it's just not
the person that either. Yeah,so wow, I got a little more
(26:22):
serious guys. Sorry, man,I could. I could continue this for
the next three hours, and wewill next week. We'll have a part
too, just because this is partof the reason we started at a girl,
because it's a big like at agirl, you got out of that.
So we really encourage y'all to,you know, kind of take steps
towards getting out of it. Seeka therapist, dm us, ask us
(26:44):
for help, and we can talkabout it somebody. I would love that.
I would love that. So welove y'all and girls, ain't guys
get out of those toxic relationships.Yes, they're not healthy. Sorry.
If this episode was a little bitscattered, we were. It was very
like on part of who we are. So you're welcome. Yeah, love
you guys, Love you, Byebye.
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