ep. 16 - The End of An Era

Riley realized that her athletic career has come to an end. 

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome back, guy, Good morning. This is the at a Girl Podcast.
If you are new, and myname is Riley White and I'm Cam
White, and we don't do avery good job introducing ourselves each week,
and we are working on it.So that is our intro. Yeah,
it's like we started and then we'relike, oh, they know us,
Yeah, they know us. Andit's like we know, we want new
friends, and if we get newfriends and they don't know who we are,

(00:21):
then sucks. We're cousins. Weare. And this podcast started for
January and January right, and itstarted because we want to talk about life
and all things being in your twentiesand dating. We're relationships and it's honestly
mostly been dating. Yeah, we'vebeen working through some of our dating life

(00:43):
stuff. Yes, we've had somecrazy Actually, from the first episode to
now, we've had nobody. It'sso different because think about I had what
like drag Racer first, God,I forgot about him. Yeah, and
then and then and now I havethe most amazing, loveliest boyfriend ever who
Now he's excited because since what we'regonna talk about today, I'm probably gonna

(01:10):
cry. I'm just this is awarning because it's like the first time,
probably the second time, I'm reallylike diving into all of it, and
I've texted it. It's like diveinto it, but I haven't talked about
it, and so I just knowI'm gonna cry. But my boyfriend's so
excited. Since I'm done with sportsnow I can golf with him, which
don't get me wrong, I lovegolfing, but I don't like it when

(01:30):
I'm not good at things. Metoo, I kind of I see my
toxic trades if I know I'm notgonna be good at something, like,
let's pretend okay, actually this isa real story. I got invited on
a date to go kayaking and I'mabsolutely refused. That's fair. No,
I don't want to do that.I don't like activities. See I'm the
type where it's like, okay,well, if we go and I'm not

(01:51):
good or you beat me or I'mnot good at something, you're gonna get
the pissed off. Won't speak toyou, Riley sore loser, No,
like the sorest of sore. Ijust get embarrassed. That's my problem.
So if like, I know,if I went kayaking and like I couldn't
like either keep up with their payor something, or like I got flipped
out. Heaven forbid flipped out.No, I'd kill myself, not literally,

(02:15):
but yeah, yes, So Ihave a golf lesson today at four.
Yes, I mean literally. Myseason finished when I competed Saturday,
and I texted Mike, my golfguy, and I was like, hit
Mike lessons and he was like,how about Monday at four? It's perfect
yours? Stay back? Got it? So I texted him letting him not

(02:37):
I having a golf lesson and he'slike, oh my gosh, can't wait
to golf this summer. I waslike, well, that's only if I
get better addicts. Not going togolf with you, your strength coach and
teammates, that's just not happening ifI'm not killing it. Yeah, and
he's like, no, no worrieswill be teammates, like we're not going
against each other, which like itdoesn't really matter if we're with each other
against each other, Like no,and he said, I'll help you if

(02:58):
you want me to. He said, as much as I would love that,
I don't know how I would takeit because I would think of it
as you being like, oh,you're not going to need help it,
which is so crazy. I know, in toxic and just not even what
that is. Yeah, but I'mlike, that's like my coach coaches his
wife in povol. Oh yeah Icouldn't. I couldn't. Yeah, like

(03:19):
you'd give me a correction. Sothat wasn't good. So you hate me?
So you want to break up?Yes? Like literally no, And
he literally said why did I knowyou were gonna say that? I was
like, you have definitely learned,he said, and I want you to
learn me. That's not at allwhat I'm trying to say. I'm actually
trying to help you, like mybrother has helped me. Yeah, but

(03:43):
it's just how I operate, andit's not good. I get it to
an extent for sure. Yeah,I'm just way too competitive. That's like
we just got in a fight,our first fight ever last week, mean
Corey like actually or sorry bulldog manlike actual, like like where I did
not want to speak to him becausehe told told me that hitting a ninety
mile per hour fastball is the hardestthing in sports, and since him and

(04:05):
his teammates can do the hardest thingin sports, they can pick up any
sport but any sport can't hit aninety mile power baseball. Okay, and
you're talking to me here, nowrong girl to say. And for sure
I told him that needed to stayin the locker room. That needed to
be locker room talk between the guysthat they think that about themselves. That's

(04:26):
not something you tell other athletes.Yeah, because who are you to say
what my what I do for mysport isn't as hard as what you do.
You don't know. You've never donemy sport and I've never done your
sport. And I think what youdo is incredible and I've always supported it,
always thought it was amazing. Butwho are you to tell me what
I do is not impressive? Butthat gymnastics was the only exception, and
I was like, yeah, itdidn't go over great. I can't imagine.

(04:49):
And I got to the point whereI was like, well, I
love him so much and I hatethis like tension that I'm just gonna get
over it, but I still disagreewith you. Well agree to disagree for
sure. Yeah, so that happened, so like me and him in sports,
I hate backpedal at all. Hesaid. He felt terrible because I
basically just I was not very nicein my text. To be honest,

(05:10):
I was like, I have alwayssupported and really and I do think so
highly what it does because he doesit. He does such a good job
after being so difficult, and Ihave always thought it was so impressive.
I've supported it. So I waslike, for me to have always been
so supportive, to feel like you'redisrespecting my sport, which is okay,
that's how the rest of the worldfeels. Yeah, to be honest with

(05:30):
you, no one really respects trackand field because they're like, oh,
well I can run, Oh youcan run, attend to in the one
hundred, you'd get smoked right,like, and the all the events that
come with track. It's just oneof those things like there's a lot of
lack of respect for it. Anyways, that's why the pay is pretty crappy
with being a professional athlete in trackand field, Like there's no money in
it. Yeah. So I saidthat, and then I was like,

(05:54):
I guess I just kind of shockedme because you've never like, you are
always so sweet and supportive, sothis was just kind of like shocking.
Yeah, and then I and Isaid, but don't worry if I could
jump higher or be a collegiate gymnast. I would if that thought. If
I thought you'd think I was moreimpressive, I hope you were being an
asshole and didn't mean that last line. No, I meant it like if

(06:15):
he thought I was more impressive,trust me, I would have loved to
have jump higher or like continued gymnasticsinto college if that thought. Because and
so then I had to dig deeperand realize I spent two years in a
relationship trying to prove myself to somebody. I proved that I was smart,
pretty athletic. I tried to,like, please believe all these things about
me. And so when I ama perfectionist at all aspects of life,
like right now my classes that donot count towards anything. I have B

(06:39):
pluses in an A plus, whyI don't even try, but I have
to try, Like I think Iget that I and like my weight,
like I'm never happy or content withhow I look, like every little thing
in my life. I am aperfectionist about right and he has to understand
that, like I drive myself crazyand so yes, I've only done my
sport in total six seven years.But like if I could have been a

(07:02):
fourteen foot jumper. I would haveloved to been, and I wasn't.
Yeah, like, if I couldhave continued gymastics into college, Trust my,
I would have because everyone's always like, ooh gymnasts like and so he
was like, Oh, my gosh, that's not what I'm saying at all.
I think what you do is unbelievable, impressive. I've never not thought
that. I'm proud of you always. You have nothing to prove to me.
He was very sweet and we workedthrough all of it. I just

(07:24):
was like, we're just going toagree to disagree, because at the end
of the day, I respect everybodyin their sport, especially at the level
we compete at. Yeah, Ican't tell you someone swimming is easier than
what I do, Like, it'sjust so different. Now it's apples to
oranges across the board. Yes,So that was my whole spiel. But
so it's been really like a sportskick lately, and then all of that

(07:46):
to now be done. I'm notsure that's so difficult because it's been your
identity forever. And so I wastalking to my mom a lot about it
because it's really hard for me toopen up and talk about it because you've
known me as long as I've beenin sports, my mom, my dad,
my family, but and close friends. But people haven't seen how much

(08:11):
I've sacrificed and given up for sportsmy entire life. Like I literally have
been doing sports since I was three. Yeah, you were a six year
old doing two a days. Yes, I had no life besides gymnastics.
Yeah. And even hit my nephew'sbirthday party this past weekend. Everyone was
there, even grandmother and eight Terrywent to it and I was in Arizona,
Like I couldn't even go to mynephews. Like, I just have

(08:31):
sacrificed so much for sports. Andanother thing is with poval is no matter
even if you pr, you stillhave three more bars the next height,
and so you end on a fail. Gotcha. So even though I had
a great jump day and I canlike say, oh at least I had
good jumps, like I went outon a fail. I missed the bar,

(08:52):
you know what I mean? Andyeah, that's hard, And it's
also one thing that is super difficultfor me to like accept. It's like
in gymnastics, my goal was togo to college for it. I mean,
I was national tops, I wentto National tops testing at nine years
old, made Top Speed Camp nineyears old. I have my Team USA

(09:13):
gear from yeah, eight and nineyears nine years old. Like, I
was really good young and all Iwanted was to go to college for gymnastics,
and then injuries, injuries, injuries, injuries. I started competing level
ten, I believe in the eighthgrade. Yeah, I mean I had
colleges looking at me. Yeah.I went to college camps and then quit

(09:35):
that, which I think that wasthe first identity crisis I've ever had in
my entire life. Oh I'm sure. Yeah, and then pole vaulting,
so I well, I mean evenwhen my dad told me like, yeah,
she's not doing gymnastics anymore, Iwas like what Yeah, what do
you mean what? Yeah, Likeat school, people were like, oh,
Rally the gymnast, Yeah that wasyou. So when that first happened,

(09:56):
I'm like, well, great,yeah, what did you IM gonna
think? Like who am I am? I just like nobody now, like
people only know me as the gymnast. And when you have no friends outside
of your gymastics friends, It's like, well great, now I quit gymnastics,
so now I have no sport,no friends, Like I am screwed.
So then that was always even lookingback, even being in college and

(10:18):
going to college gymastics meets, I'dbe lying if I said like I wasn't
jealous, because I'm like, thatwas my dream, right, these girls
are out here literally living out mydream. Yeah, and the skills they
are competing I competed. Yeah.Now I'm not saying I would have gone
to the university iband for gymastics likegreat, yes, and it's definitely in

(10:39):
the realm of possibility exactly, andat least even somewhere SEC. Yeah.
But and then also who knows withinjuries, like you just don't know.
And so when I'm watching all thesegirls, like it was hard for me
to go to gymastics meets and watchpeople compete because I'm like, oh,
that's what I've always wanted to do, yeah, and some pole vaulting,
and my dream was to always goto SEC's, which I was able to

(11:00):
do four different times, and oran outdoor four total times. But I
always wanted to jump thirteen feet yeah, and my pr is twelve eleven and
a half happened. Insane. It'slike walking away from two different sports feeling
like you didn't reach your goals islike the hardest pill to swallow. Yeah,

(11:26):
I think just mentally shifting that alittle bit. And I do not
do a good enough job looking atall accomplishments across the board. I was
about to say that, which isnot good. And I've had five coaches
in six years, and so there'sthat's really hard to build consistency, right,

(11:48):
there's too much When there's too muchturnover, it's hard to be Yeah,
new workouts every year, Yeah,yeah, new coaching queues new.
The difference between pooball and gymnastics isso much of your trust is in your
coach because they're telling you scoot back, scoot up, go up, handgrip,

(12:09):
go up poles. And when you'reflying that far into the air,
you could miss the mat, youcould land back on the runway, you
could snap a pole, you couldslip off a pole, Like, there's
so many things that can happen,like your life is at risk, and
a lot of it is the coachingdecisions that are made and so having to
like rebuild and trust in a coachevery single year because some coaches I didn't

(12:31):
trust, Like my sophomore junior yearcoach, he was awesome, first year,
did not trust him. Junior hadan amazing year with him. Yeah,
So there's just a lot that goesinto that. But it's like I
don't want to accept that as afact. I'm just like, what doesn't
matter, I still should have doneit. What I get, I think
you're just so hard on yourself ingeneral. Always. Yes, And that's

(12:56):
what I tried to explain to bulldogMan two with that whole situation. I'm
like, you have to understand,unfortunately I live my life with comparing myself
to literally everyone in all aspects.Yeah, and I hate it. Yeah,
because yes, I love life andI have so much fun with it.
But it's not fun when you feellike you're at a constant like game.

(13:16):
Yeah, you're you're very competitive alwayswith everything and everyone. And I
think that's, honestly something that shouldbe a little bit released because it is
so fun coming from someone who doesn'tgive a shit most of my time on
this earth. And I wish.I don't think you understand how bad I
wish I could be like that.I mean one hundred percent. Of course,

(13:39):
there's aspects of my life where I'mvery I compare myself and I can
be competitive but like it's not mynature most of the time. Yeah,
Like we play Monopoly and I lose, and I'm like, Okay, good
night everyone, and my brother's likesitting there pit you know whatever. Like
growing up, the only only gameI'm competitive ad is scrabble because I just
well, because that's that's a hitto my intelligence because you're and you're really

(14:03):
smart and you read all the freakingtime, and that's like you're a cup
of tea right there. That's mything. So like there are aspects of
life there I'm competitive, like differentgames or like how many books I read
and how many books are they reading? It's stupid stuff like that. Like
I'm yeah, so I get whereyou're coming from, but I just don't.
I don't want you to harp onlittle things and feel like you're not
good enough or worthy or all ofit. And that's the problem. And

(14:26):
so I was texting my brother becauseI'm like, Connor, like what do
I do? Yeah, Like I'venever not been competitive, Like I've never
not had a sport to like putall that into and you, I mean,
but you might find that it's abit of relief. You know,
it won't be for the first fewmonths, I'm right, but eventually it'll

(14:48):
be nice to not have my identityand something. Yeah like that. And
I feel like you're gonna grow withinyourself more than you're gonna expect, just
because releasing that aspect of your lifand all that time, even like having
more time to put into other thingsthat are more of a hobby in your
head, you know, that aren'tso pressure like you're I feel like you're

(15:09):
in a pressure cooker most of theall the time. Yeah, And I
feel like once you release that stuff, then you'll feel much better about and
I will not even feel much better. I feel like you'll look at things
differently, see yourself I have ina good way. It's like all these
people are like, well, whatis she gonna do now? Like people

(15:33):
they're like, this is all she'shad. Like, well, no,
I know your plans and your dreamsand you're gonna do amazing things with that.
That's what I'll say until you're readyto talk about it. Yeah,
Like I have no doubt in mymind, like not even a shred of
doubt, but you're not going tobe successful. And it's like Coach texted

(15:54):
us today and said, hey,hey, I'll be at the track from
one to three. It's not manatorypractice with the finals and getting back yesterday.
We'll just do a shakeout if youwant to swing by, come on
by. I was like to everybody, and I'm like, do I wear
normal clothes? Do I just comeout there and say, hey, like
what do I? Yeah? I'mlike, literally, it's only April twenty

(16:17):
ninth, like do I? Andso I'm not finishing out my classes.
They don't count towards anything, Like, they're not going towards a degree,
so why take exams that countterwards nothing? So you don't have to you don
know you do, like they literallydon't like already have my master's, Like
this isn't going towards a degree,right dang. So it's like it's just
really and truly and like most peopleinto the real world after college, and

(16:40):
it's like I'm entering the real worldand losing my identity at the same time.
Yeah, yeah, I get that, I think. Yeah, I
mean I get where you're coming frombecause your entire life changed in a matter
of what a day. Oh yeah. And it's like at the meat when
you take that last jump, you'relike, Okay, I really want to
lay on this pit and just likeball my eyes out. So did you
know it was your last jump?At least he had told me. So

(17:02):
this is what was really hard.I teared up before, like I got
on the runway because Coach had toldme before this meet that it was like
the last chance kind of thing,like if I jumped, well, they
would take me to conference. Becausethe hard part was is I only had
a outdoor season, and so goinginto that last attempt, he was like,
Okay, how risky do we feel? And I was like, you
just told me what to do,coach, and he was like, well,
we either go up to the onefifty five the next poll and we

(17:26):
bring your standards in and you haveto go, or if we move your
standards back, stay on this poleand you've got to drop back. You've
got to get in with the pole. I was like, you tell me
what to do, and he's like, I'm not making this call for you,
because I think he knew like thiscould potentially be it. I'm not
making this call for her, rightAnd I was like, Coach, you
know I don't make these decisions likeI need you to tell me what to

(17:48):
do them. And so we stayedon that pole everything, and I jumped
did what I was supposed to do. But it was one of those things
like I knew like, okay,if this is it, like you better
freaking drop and you better go,and I did, and I did what
I was supposed to do. Itwas just one of those things like if
I'd gone to that next pole andnot taken a jump, oh my gosh,
I would have been pissed at myself. That was my last thing ever
and I didn't even take a fulljump. Yeah. Yeah. And my

(18:11):
teammate Hollie, she was like,yeah, I jumped once on that pole
and it was a brick like abrick wall. You got smacked. And
she's like, I'm glad you didn'tdo that for your third attempt. Yeah.
And then I walk over and I'mlike, okay, we're not gonna
cry, but I did tear up. And he was just like, you
know, you've had to overcome havinghow many coaches, And he was like,
and we did redo your entire vaultthis year. We just didn't have

(18:32):
enough time. And that's the hardestthing too, is knowing, like I'm
told all the time, potential,potential, potential, like oh, your
potential, Oh, your potential,And it's like, well, that sucks
to know I could have been,would have been. Yeah, like that
doesn't make me feel any better.No, And I get that it wouldn't
make me feel better cause it's like, well I don't have that extra time.

(18:52):
Yeah, it gets over. Yeah. And part of it too,
is like our coaches have always stressedjust like, no, your place on
the team, Like no, ifyou're supposed to go out and a national
winner or top a national contender,and like that's never been me. Yeah,
had I started in seventh grade,maybe, yeah, that's not my
place, but I wish it was. I can kind of relate in a
small aspect because like I kind ofgrew up as my brother is very smart.

(19:17):
Let me put this out there.It's just not a nock to him.
But like, out of the twoof us, I made the better
grades just naturally. So I waslike the smarter kid. I wasn't.
But you know, you get labels. Yeah, he was the athlete I
was not. I did play basketball, yeah, not good, not well.
So when I finally got like,you know, I did really well

(19:40):
in my act, I got afull ride, well full tuition, scholarship,
and I kind of, you know, when I got to college and
realized, like, oh, likeI actually have to put effort in because
I mean genuinely, just to behonest, all through school, taking like
hard tests and stuff that it wasit wasn't something I studied for. Yeah,

(20:00):
it just wasn't. Yeah. Andthen going to college and I joined
a sorority, and then I hada job as a waitress, but we
were so busy that it kind ofturned it more into a full time job.
Yeah, more than i'd like wouldhave liked to. I was skipping
classes to work. Like. Itwasn't like I was always on my tail

(20:23):
all the time. I know itsometimes like I was lazy in some aspects.
But when I got to college andrealized, oh, this isn't going
to be a breeze. And thenmy grades dropped and I was like,
wait, I'm smart, Like Iwas like, nah, this is wrong,
Like you guys are wrong. I'msmart, I promise, like I
I have good you know, allthis stuff. And then like leaving college

(20:45):
early and I don't have a collegedegree. It is an identity crisis because
and it makes you doubt yourself,like I kind of I get where you're
coming from, because I was like, oh, maybe I was just yeah,
because like I get that, LikeI'm like, I promise I'm athletic.
Yeah, like I got I'm smart, Like I don't know what happened,
Like I do know happened, butyou know what I mean, Like
it is, it's strange, andit's like I get internal embarrassment about it

(21:08):
when I shouldn't. But that's howI feel too, and then having it
all on social media makes it tentimes worse. I'm sure the embarrassment.
Yeah, it should never feel embarrassing. And it's like I understand, yeah,
And it's like why do we feelthat way? Because outside looking in
no, like I've always talked abouthow smart my cousin is. Oh my

(21:30):
gosh, my cousin Cameron, she'sso smart, and I do that with
your athletics and all the time andso and everyone feels that way about you.
So it's like, why do weput these things in our head?
Unrealistic? What views on ourselves,expectations and views on ourself that aren't right,
Like that's not right. I amathletic. Why why do I think

(21:52):
I'm not athletic? Guy? Mymom is like, you know, you're
a state champion in two different sports. Yeah, And I was like,
but that was I school. Sobut same with me, like, hey,
you know you like your made greatgreat and your act score was what
it was yeah, And I waslike yeah, but I was seventeen,
Like yeah, I don't have acollege degree, so it doesn't matter,

(22:15):
Like why do I like, itdoesn't matter one height that I didn't clear
define me? And then I waslike, honestly, mom, had I
jump thirteen feet, I still wouldhave been disappointed. Yeah, Like nothing's
ever good enough. Yeah, butit should be. And I don't know
how to I don't know how tostart. I don't know if I need
to make like little goals that Ican like check off and feel like I'm
accomplishing things. I don't know whatthe heck I need to do because I

(22:38):
and I like even talking to bulldogMan, like I suck at communicating this
kind of stuff because I'm like,I don't want him to look at me
differently, Like I am dreading goingto see him for the fact of having
to see his friends and family andask me about track. Yeah, you
shouldn't. You shouldn't dread that becauseall considered whether this weekend went exactly how

(23:03):
you wanted it to or not.If you look at the bigger picture,
you have killed it for six years, and you had the opportunity to do
it for six years for a reason, you know what I mean, Like
they wouldn't have let you do that. Well, he my head coach,
didn't want me to come back aswell. Well he let you anyway,
and he literally And that's another thingI have to remind myself. He told
me he thought I would give upin the middle of the season if I
came back and I didn't. Yeah, exactly, You've proved so many people

(23:26):
wrong, so many people wrong.We got to start this, We got
this out of it. Yeah,Like there's just so many things that have
come along with it. And that'swhat after around myself, like I'll never
be able to repay Alabama for allthe things that I was able to I
mean set up my future after thefact, not even just like with a
degree, but everything that even justalbuma track. And my brother was like,

(23:48):
people like you and follow you foryou raally, not because you were
an album uniformal but true some domaybe, But what's that percentage look like?
Whenever helme and you're incredible all thingseveryone does. Everyone that meets you
thinks you're incredible. You know that. No, and I don't know.

(24:10):
And it's one of those things likeI look, I tell myself, I'm
like, Okay, let's say you'relike one of the girls that was jumping
like fourteen feet this past weekend.Like what if that's all I had,
just that, Like, oh,I'm a fourteen foot jumper, and that's
like it, right, I wouldbe I would be miserable. Yeah,
you have so many things to fallback on, and yeah, get into
you know, even start and it'slike, but I think I need to

(24:33):
go back to therapy. Yeah,because I'm just like why I'm going on
the eighth because I hate I hatefeeling like I can't enjoy life because like
nothing's ever enough. And it's oneof those things. It's not people in
my life, right, it's everythinghaving to do with me. And I'll
be the first to hype somebody elseup, but I can't take exact advice
exactly. I do that too.Oh my god, I do that too.

(24:55):
It's so easy to do because you'rein your own head, yeah all
of the time, and it's justlike what the heck, Like I literally
hate it, and it's like Ican't explain how I feel. And like
my mom was even talking last nightabout how like oh, like, no,
we'll never get like how much pressureyou put on yourself. And I'm
like, no, like you don'tget it, yeah, like mom,

(25:18):
but we may never understand, butyou get it different. Yeah, I
see you, you know, andI do. I don't know. I
don't want you to put so muchpressure on yourself and not feel good enough,
because you truly daily and I thinkit's causing problems between me and bulldog

(25:38):
Man because I like, all ofa sudden, I'm putting so much into
all this that I don't feel enough. Yeah, that's not The two things
don't correlate. No, shouldn't atall. And he was like you realize,
like I love you for you andlike how sweet of a person you
are and how you this that andthe other. And I'm like yeah,

(25:59):
and like I know how I lookat other people and love people, and
I don't look at them for thethings they do, So why why I
think you just you are in apressure cooker all of the time, and
I truly think, like, ifyou want to go to therapy. Good,
like you should. But I reallythink that this time time will kind
of time does heal. Whether that'sa stupid thing or not, it is

(26:22):
true. And I think that onceyou kind of give your body and mind
and everything the time, it needsto relax a little bit and realize that
there's not so much pressure day today and doesn't need to be. Yeah,
it's just not necessary. Yeah,relax a little half funny, start
running. Yeah, Peyton wants todo a half marathon. So my sister

(26:45):
and I think you're gonna do ahalf marathon. Yeah, and like put
yourself, but like I just Idon't want you to put Like even this
golf, like you're doing lessons andstuff like it, like you guys have
fun. Oh I know, butI can you can? You? So
can? You? Like pickleball,I'm starting and Connor and I are going
to be like a doubles team.But like my goal is to like be

(27:06):
able to compete nationally pickable. That'sfine, but like and that's fine,
but like why can't I just doit for fun? You can and you
will, you will, But likeif that's what you need, like if
you need a hobby that turns intosomething competitive. But do I actually need
that? Probably not? Well,I mean I don't know. It may

(27:29):
be fun to focus something that's notas high pressure, though, you know
what I mean, like still havethe competitive aspect. To me, Colnor
said we could be fine and gopro fie and go pro were his words,
like literal words. Hell yeah,I was like, all right,
let's do it. I mean,I think I truly don't think that removing

(27:51):
all competition from your life is agood idea. I don't think I could.
I don't think. Yeah, butI don't think that's necessary. Yeah,
but I think maybe switching your focusand as it's more of a hobby
than yeah, it really nice todo things like my mom had a good
point too, which I've never thoughtabout this. Every sport I've done,
I've had to be on every competitionday, I have to be on.

(28:12):
I don't do a team sports.I was about to say that sport.
If I'm having an off day,I don't. I can't rely on anybody.
Pickup slack. It's either I'm onand jumping well or I'm not.
Yea gym not on you. It'sspotlight. You have to be on that
day. Yeah. I was like, you're right. Yeah, I'm glad
I chose the two like sports thatwere very individualized and pressure and spotlight and

(28:37):
mentally like screwed up. I thinkat the end of that kind of wraps
it up well because I think wejust answered all of our questions. I
think I'm screwed up. I thinkmy sports really just mentally made you feel
no enough because they're all on you. But that makes sense to me in
my head. You had to beyou only had to rely on yourself,

(29:00):
and that kind of answers questions.And that's also why, like I don't
want to talk to anybody about it. I'm like, no, I've got
it, thank you. Yeah,exactly like therapy. Yeah, therapy is
I don't mean that. I don'tmean that in a bad way. I'm
going on the eighth because my thoughtsare not correct. There's a lot happening,

(29:22):
like relationships just everything. Yeah,okay, oh no, I don't
know. I have weird I haveweird issues with weird things in my life,
like random stuff like food and allthe weird stuff. It's like,
but here I am like mass nobigdale, no. See that's what I'm
saying. We're good at giving otherpeople advice but taking it ourselves. It's
like that, wasn't it for me? Right? For everybody else who said

(29:45):
that, Well, you'll have tolet me know how it goes. If
you need to, I'll talk outsideof this, but definitely, ladies and
gents. I am officially a retiredathlete of twenty three, I mean twenty
years. That's an amazing accomplishment tocelebrate. Twenty years is a long ass
a long time, a long time. But we will be picking up pickleball,

(30:07):
golf, running, working out,stay tuned for all of that.
I'm really excited for some things thatI'm working on. So and then we've
got this pod. I'm moving toBirmingham, so a lot's slip forward too.
And Cam and her little boo thingare going better. Correct, Yeah,
yes, you guess. I'm aslow mover sometimes. And I've built

(30:32):
a wall, so it's a wholething. It's my own, it happens,
We're going. Everything's great, good. I'm just scared to talk about
it and be excited about it becauseof my past. Yep, that's fair,
it's facts. I don't even wantto talk about my dad. My

(30:52):
head on that note anyway, everybodyhas a fabulous week and has had a
fabulous week. We love y'all,We appreciate all your love and support.
Please don't be too harsh on thesocials of like you're done. Yeah,
oh my gosh. Please please whywould you do that? Please had a

(31:14):
girl me instead? Yes, celebrateher for her twenty year accomplishment by a
long time Yeah. All right,We love y'all, Love you, Bye bye.