February 16, 2024 • 32 mins
Seeing relationships fail, is a part of the growing process. In this episode, Riley and Cam discuss their Single Girl Era.
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(00:00):
What is up y'all? Hey,welcome back to add a Girl Podcast.
Happy Valentines, Gallantines, Yeah,Valentines, bro, and whatever you celebrate.
Happy love Day, Happy love Day. I love that. I know.
It's kind of sweet and tender.I started thinking about Valentine's Day and
why people hate it, and I'mlike, yeah, but it's about love.
(00:21):
Think about like your friends and yourfamily, and yeah, there's a
lot of things in your life thatbring you so much love. And I'm
like, I don't hate Valentine's Day. No, I actually love love.
I know me too, even ifit doesn't work out, even if it
falls short, even if I'm single. Yeah, oh my god, definite.
I love love. I will say. I saw in public the other
day they had these little stuffed animalsand it said, uh fries of four
(00:43):
guys, and it was like alittle gift for the girls, and I
was like, yes, but also, I'm not like hating on men.
No, Like I'm single, Iam especially single. Yeah, I've been.
I'm very single this Monday morning too, but yeah it's Monday for us,
Yes, it's Monday for us,but this is releasing well, it's
releasing today as in Wednesday, Valentine'sDay, but that gets confusing. Sorry,
(01:07):
we had ourselves a little weekend ofdisappointment, I guess, But I
guess it's not really disappointment now becauseno, actually it helped me lean into
my singleness a little bit, andI, yeah, I feel actually really
good about what's going on. Yes, not that they're you know, I
don't have anything negative to say aboutthe guy that ended things with me.
(01:30):
We're good. Yeah, We're good. Nothing, you know. I didn't
lean into it that way like thewhole F Men train, I'm yeah,
just trying to focus on myself.And I will honestly say the past few
situationships I've had, yeah, haveended horribly, but none of them have
led me to be like f Men. It's been more just disappointment, definitely.
(01:55):
That's all it is, is justdisappointment because I've gotten to such a
comfortable place where it's I know whatI have to offer, yep. I
know what I want one day,yep. I, And I'm not willing
to sacrifice my singleness in being happyuntil the right thing comes along. That's
it. Yeah, we know whatwe bring to the table. We just
(02:15):
have to find a good table.Yeah, And there's a lot of broken
ones, like small kiddie tables.I've been coming across a lot of tables
that have walls and barriers around it. That's any excuse for a lot of
tables of mine. See, Andthe thing that's crazy is mine. There
was a lot of walls and barriers. But then after everything, I've realized
(02:36):
I was sitting at a kiddy table. True, that's really good. There
was an age gap, but Idon't know who was older to be honest
emotionally, Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I got to stop sitting at
the kitty table. I gotta startfinding the adult tables. Yes, me
too, even if it's my age. I've always been like, oh,
I'm so into older men. I'mstarting to think because I'm like, well,
it hasn't really worked this far.Yeah. People tell me all the
(03:00):
time, it's like you're so maturefor your age. You don't know how
many times I've heard that. Yep, I always make a joke. I'm
like, it's the trauma. Seriously, I've been through so much. No,
really, I had to grow up. Yeah. I think I get
down and out about just the agething because I think we all I mean,
I don't know about you. ButI'm turning twenty five next month,
a month from today. But I'vehad a lot of like mental crisis about
(03:25):
it. I'm like, oh mygod, yes, I'm like, no,
I'm twenty five. I'm supposed tohave a house and be married and
be you know you look at everybodyelse. It's just comparison. But my
little notebook here I found. Iactually found this a few years ago,
but I've revisited it. Yeah,if y'all haven't seen Relationship Goals, the
(03:49):
Michael Todd sermon, I haven't seenit. It's Transformation Church. It's okay,
that's Michael Todd. So good RelationshipGoals is what it's called. And
it's like a I don't know howmany parts I'll have to for real listen
bh, my gosh. Okay,So he basically talks from the first episodes
(04:09):
about before the Person second Singleness.I guess it then goes dating, marriage
whatever, like the book Yes,yes, yeah, yeah, which I
haven't read and I need to read. I need to read the Singleness yes
part right now. Yeah. SoI actually listened to that both Before the
Person in Singleness this morning, somy brain's fresh. Oh heck, yeah,
(04:30):
love it. Yeah, but I'mlearning that actually singleness. He talks
a lot about how it's actually moreimportant in the marriage because there's a lot
of people who have issues in theirmarriage or dating right now. It's because
that they did not work on themselvesand figure those issues out during their singleness.
So actually, I think we're ina beautiful time. I think so
(04:53):
too, and I love that.And so my brother's girlfriend just broke up
with him a week ago. Yeah, it has to be love. Yeah,
this has been quite the opposite.Well, the thing he just had
a sermon at church this past Sundayabout whether or not it was on accident
(05:13):
or if it was something God reallywanted to happen. Yeah, and for
him, he had this moment wherehe said, you know what, I
know she was in my life fora reason. I was in a dark
time and I got out of it. And now I've grown closer to God
because of her. Yep. Andnow I get to grow by myself and
be on my own, and shegets to grow and be on her own
maybe one day. If not,that's totally fine. That means there's someone
(05:33):
else out there way better. ButI get to work on myself now.
So I can be better for Imean, he had this whole like he
was a different kid talking me onthe phone. I was like, oh
my gosh, I love it.You're back to your funds monkey talking himself.
Let me talk about you're out forforty five minutes. Yeah, but
it was such a good because Iand I've been telling my teammates, So
shout out to one of my teammates. Her name is Holly. She's from
Abile. She I don't think he'sever had a serious boyfriend. And she's
(05:57):
twenty one, right her standard.I have never met a girl genuinely whose
standards are as high as they are. And she does not she does not
waiver at all. Good for her. She's the type if a guy comes
along it doesn't work out, she'slike he wasn't good enough anyways, Like
here are all the things. Andshe talks about how her parents got married
so late in life and how hersiblings are all getting married late in life.
(06:18):
So she's never been around people whereit's been an expectation to get married
so young. Yeah. See,I think that that's the issue with comparison
to I grew up in a verysmall town and yeah, there's the whole
you know, stereotype is true.People in small towns. It's like meet
in high school, they met inchurch or whatever, like it's it's genuinely
(06:39):
a thing, and then they getmarried right after high school or even even
the college I went to. Isaw time after time, it's like they
met freshman year, got married orgot engaged junior year, got married right
after senior year. Like it's yeah, my siblings, Yeah, my brother
met his beautiful, lovely wife.She is freaking amazing, and there at
(07:00):
Taylor's oldest time. Met in highschool, got married later in life after
they were more established and just worked. Yeah. And Peyton and my sister
and my brother in law, theymet going into freshman year. There was
some concert right for freshman year,started dated all through college, got married
after college, and now have Henry. I mean they are and they are
seriously a match made in heaven.Yeah, that's how Drew and Beth are.
Yeah, And so it's one ofthose things where you look at that
(07:23):
and you're like, what the heck. Yes, we're the ones who can't
figure out. But I think Ithink our mindset just has to shift.
And I've been trying to fall intothat. And I'm not going to take
credit for this, but I didsee something on TikTok and the funny thing
about God, I don't This isa whole other topic that we could get
into, but I have not beenvery intentional with my relationship with God.
(07:47):
But the funny thing about him,he finds you even if you're not looking
right. I mean literally, Iwas scrolling on TikTok, of all places,
funny video, funny people like someonefalls, we laugh, and then
oh, there's God telling you exactlywhat you need to do exactly. Well,
that's like when I went to churchyesterday out after you've yeah, yeah,
So I saw this beautiful girl talkingabout Psalm one twenty seven to one,
(08:09):
and here's the scripture. Unless theLord builds the house, the builder's
labor in vain. Basically, unlessit's given to you specifically from God,
the work effort, just love thatyou pour into it. Unless it's right
for you, it doesn't matter.No. And it's so funny because my
(08:31):
mom has always told me every guyI've ever dated, or situationship, whatever,
it shouldn't be this hard. Yes, No, truly it shouldn't.
Because if it is sent from God, it should not be that hard.
And that doesn't mean like, don'tput effort in, don't write like especially
people talk about marriage, you haveto work at marriage. That's not what
we're saying. But two weeks intotalking to somebody, or even a month
(08:52):
of dating, and you're confused,does he like me? Does he not?
Say Megan Maroney's song Wonder, Theright person will never make you wonder?
Literally, yeah, like beautiful.It's it's not that we make it
so complicated, and part of itis dating nowadays is just different, but
still the right person who cares aboutyou, They're not gonna want you to
sit around and wonder and be insecureor not know what's going on. They're
(09:13):
gonna want you to feel cared for. They're gonna give you the same energy
you're giving them, and it's allabout serving one another. Yes, this
last person that I was with,and he was very I think he was
the kind of person that was verystuck in his ways, which is great.
Yeah, he was older and youknow, just had his own routine.
Yeah, but that had me soconfused. I've literally known this man's
(09:35):
existence for probably a month, right, I guess a little over but still
like didn't even know he existed onearth, right, And I was so
tied up, and I was like, oh my gosh, he only wants
to see me once a week ifthat, like, he must not like
me enough, and I need toremember like later when I start dating someone
new that that's fine. Yeah,they don't have to because girls and guys
(09:58):
are very different wired like right,love wired. Yes, So girls start
at one hundred percent and things chipaway at them yep, whereas guys,
guys start at zero and you theybuild it yep. And I think that's
very hard for us in dating,because I do. I start one hundred
percent. I'm like, oh,this isn't this about this guy? He's
perfect? This is how he fallsin line with me. This is how
(10:22):
we can grow an optimist and yousee good in people you have because you
have so much to give. AndI'm a hopeless romantic too. Sure,
Oh me too. I want allthe you know, sweet, I do
too. I want that, youknow, when you watch these movies,
you want that knight and shining armorlove, which one of my exes actually
(10:45):
when we broke up, he waslike, well, I think what you're
looking for a night and shining armor. You're never going to find someone who
did X, Y, and Zlike I did. And I'm like,
who cares? If I'm looking fora night and shining armor, I will
wait until I find it. That'smy ex is the exact same thing.
Yes, it was. You're you'relooking for someone perfect and you're never gonna
find it. Who says I won't? And And what's funny is so we
(11:07):
made these lists, two of thingsthat we really want and a guy,
when I read my list, itis not needy. I am not hind
maintenance. Yeah, mine's kind oflong, but it's not things that are
hard or yeah, you're not highing. No. So if that's my night
shining armor, so be it.I will wait until I find it because
(11:28):
I agree. I just and Ifor a few weeks now, have been
saying to my teammate Holly, Holly, I want to enter my single girl
era just like you. I wantto focus on me. I want to
enjoy all this time with my friendsbecause I do. I am so happy
right now outside of me situation.I'm so happy. And I was telling
(11:48):
her, I just want to bemore like you. I want to have
these standards I want to stick tothem and I want to, you know,
and then I wait yes and behappy waiting content yes. And so
yesterday at church, our message wasin order to change your life, you
have to change your mind. Yeah, and I was like, this is
hitting hard because I keep saying,Lo, I kind of want to do
(12:09):
this one of this, but like, I'm not really making a change,
right, And well I didn't reallyhave to make the change, Thank goodness.
The change was made for me yesterday. But I think it was funny
how God works. It is funnyhow God works. I'm not kidding.
I needed that because I am thetype that I give people so many chances
me me too, and that's justhow I am. My sister in law
pointed this out to me, andI kind of knew this about myself,
(12:31):
but hearing it out outwardly like hithome. Yeah. She was like,
you just accept people like you don'tlike like you don't when they come into
your life, like you don't tryto change them whatever, Like you see
them as you as they are,and you're like you change yourself to fit
(12:52):
them. Yeah, And she waslike, you don't need to do that.
No, it doesn't mean like Imean, now I'm adding on to
what she said. But I've thoughtabout that and I don't have to change
them, but they don't have tofit into my world. Like I've noticed
that I meet a good guy quoteunquote. He's not a cheater, he's
(13:13):
not a liar, you know what, all these things, he's the bare
minimum good guy. Yeah. Yeah, just because he's a good guy doesn't
mean he's the good guy. AndI try to when I meet someone and
I think it's just past relationships thathave gone wrong. Why I do that,
because well, at least they're notdoing this, this and this.
They have past relationships have lowered ourstandards, and and I texted you about
(13:35):
this. It's we have these standards, and we know all these things that
we deserve, what we want,but we start leading with our heart because
we're, like you said, theone hundred percent dive all in, and
so then leading with our head,things we care about and things that mean
a lot to us go out thewindow. Yeah, like the past guy
who didn't I mean it's not thathe didn't want to see me. He
(13:56):
was just he had his own routine. Right when I could fit into that
routine was when we saw each other. Yeah, and I don't want that.
No, I accepted it. Iwas like, well, I don't
want to be too pushy. Indeven tell me, well, I think
it's a more mature way to goabout dating. Yeah, and it is
to it, but isn't Also youhave to look at what you want and
(14:16):
what you need. Yeah. Ilike words of affirmation, and I like
physical touch, and I like,you know, quality time, quality time.
That's not too much to ask.And truly I wasn't receiving any of
any of it but you. Andthen it makes you tell yourself, well,
maybe it's because I'm this, ormaybe i'm this, or maybe no.
And I kept I kept telling myself. When I would get upset about
(14:37):
it in my head or like eventalk to my brother and Beth about it,
I would just be like, well, I'm just being dramatic, I'm
being too pushy, Like I'm justI'm wanting too much, Like he has
his own thing and he's more maturethan me, and blah blah blah blah.
No, No, that's me makingsomething else fit. Yep. It's
like a puzzle piece that it justdoesn't fit and I'm cramming it. And
I do that every time. Yep. I do that, or if there
(15:00):
are things that I'm not okay with, I'm like, well, I can
fix it. I'm such a gogetter. Oh, well we can change
this. I'll make sure this changesbecause I'm so this, that and the
other. Like I can make surehe's more like that. Yeah, And
I think we find ourselves like whenwe look back at relationships, our favorite
parts of relationships have been our efforts. Yes, well this past one it
(15:22):
was only my effort. Yeah,that was the only reason we saw each
other. And that's ultimately what frustratedhim is because I didn't make an effort
and so I got blocked. Sweet, but it's true. And so then
I was texting some of my teammatesabout it yesterday because they actually have a
lot for them to be so muchyounger than me, they have a lot
(15:43):
of wisdom. Yeah, no,really, I get that. I was
like, dang, girls, okay, hitting me hard because one girl was
explaining how if it's the right guysent from God, it's not anything I'm
gonna have to work that hard at. I'm gonna feel taken care of.
Yeah, and it's builder's labor inva exactly. You won't even have to
(16:03):
build the house, He'll just havea house exactly. I don't know if
that's literally what it should mean,but it's kind of. I mean,
yeah, because it's not going towork. It will not work, it
will not last. And that's whatAnd they were like, every guy you've
ever been with, you're putting inall this effor all this time, and
you stress over it. Why?Yes, why are you so worried about
(16:23):
making things work with a guy thatshould be pursuing you. I think I
forget that too. Yeah, Andit's one of those things because it's twenty
twenty four women strong, And yes, I am strong, I am independent.
I'm a go getter. I havecareer aspirations. I personally have no
desire to be a stay at homelike housewife. That is just not me.
(16:45):
Yeah, but that doesn't mean Ican't have a guy to take care
of me. It doesn't because forme, who knows. Sorry we have
the giggles for a second. Ijust the past relationship I just talked about.
Pretty sure? Is that him?Good? Hey? They always come
back. I'm just kidding, theyalways come back. Sorry, Well,
(17:10):
what were we talking about? You'rea getter, so I'm the type.
This is what I truly want.This is like me genuinely. I want
a guy who knows I can takecare of myself, who knows I'm independent
and strong, but wants to takecare of me and take care of me,
not in a degrading way of like, oh, you're a female,
(17:30):
let me just you know, youwant to be able to shut your brain
off and I want I want someoneto take care of me. Yes,
we all do. We're women atour core. That doesn't mean that we
have to give up, you know, the driven career. It doesn't mean
you're not strong. No, itdoesn't, not at all. Yeah,
but that's I've never and I've neverhad that. I've never had that.
(17:53):
Get that. I think we shouldgo about our lists now, Okay,
do you want to start? Ican, yeah, okay. I also
split mine up with characteristics like traitsof person, and then things I want
to do and how I want tobe treated, like the hopeless romantic part
of it. I like that mine. Mine is actually really simple. And
(18:14):
when I read this, like,I'm sure some people are gonna be like,
well, yeah, duh, butif you just knew, like what
I've accepted in the past, it'sactually none of this right, which is
when I was writing this out andI was, you know, looking at
it, I was like, oh, so I just want a good person.
Literally the last point is good humanand that's so that's just but it's
(18:38):
really not ugh anyway what I wanteda man, let's hear it. I
want them to be intentional. Yes, I want them to consider me.
Like what I mean by that,it's like when you're making a decision,
I'm not there. I want toat least be considered. Yeah, how
will this make her feel? Ifit affects me, if it doesn't,
(18:59):
whatever, But like I want,you know, hey, I'm not gonna
be on my phone very much today, just that consideration, Like I should
probably let her know. I wantto think about how she would feel if
I did this, because I alwaysthe decisions I make, I always make
thinking about how is this can makeme feel? Just considered? Yep,
it's really not that hard to baby. No, I feel the same way.
(19:22):
It's frustrating. Yeah, that's whyI think I get so frustrated.
I think that's what. Yes,I agree. The third one is Goofy
Golden Retriever energy. I want agoof goofy yes person and here's my thing.
You don't have to be the loudestin the room. But I want
you to be comfortable enough in yourown skin that you can make full of
yourself and you don't carry don't getembarrassed, but you can have fun with
me out in public. And Ican still be way louder, way more
(19:45):
whoo than you, but you haveto be a goof yep, I totally
agree. Next one, good familyand friends, yes, and more of
what I mean, Like, theydon't have to be just the most magnificent
people I've ever met, Like,that's not what I mean. I just
mean you have a good, solidrelationship with them, and I'm not the
only relationship that you feed into,right. I actually don't want that,
(20:06):
and I totally agree. I wroteabout having a family being a family person
because I've dated a lot of guyswho have not come from good families,
but what they want one day andhaving that desire to love a family and
even be a part of my family. You come join and be a family
person in my family. As longas you have that kind of heart of
(20:27):
being a family person, even ifyou don't come from the best of families,
that matters a lot agreed, hastheir own hobbies and interests. Preach,
preach, preach, and I actuallydon't even care what it is.
No, you can build legos onSaturday night, but do something it's for
me. So I actually wrote thathas hobbies and parentheses so attractive because I
(20:52):
don't care what it is. Youhaving something that you're really passionate about is
cute. Well, that's another onepassionate. And whether that's a new career,
I hope it is because I likeit in that I don't. I
know women get a bad stick aboutthey only want money. I really don't
care what your career is as longas you're passionate and you're working hard and
you're trying to level up. Isaid, driven slash motivated. No matter
(21:14):
what it is that they are doing, I want them to do it to
the best of their abilities. Yes, because I'm the same way. I'm
not money driven. I don't carewhat your job is, but I want
you to work so hard at it. I make money, I make my
own. It could Yes, becausethat is so attractive a guy who works
hard. And one thing I've learned, how you are in one area of
your life bleeds into all areas.So if you work hard at your job,
you're gonna work hard at our relationship, and you're gonna work hard at
(21:36):
being a father. With day,you're gonna work hard. And if you
aren't driven, if you don't workhard at work, you're not gonna work
hard to me either. Effort completely. Your effort is a parent in all
that you do. And I hadto learn that the hard way. Yeah,
I agree, but that's a hugeone. Complimentary Yeah, I mean
I do too. Me self absorbwhatever. I don't care. I need
(22:00):
someone who and I don't even careif you're calling me beautiful every day,
like do it something like made mefeel like I'm the prettiest person you've ever
met, or just compliment me ingeneral, like hey, I saw that
you were doing this, this andthis. You did great. I'm proud
of you. Like I even guyswho I've dated in the past, or
(22:21):
my first love, he would slideup on every story even though he's dating
me. I'm like, you're datingme. You get to see me all
day day, but you slide upon every story telling me how pretty I
am. I like when they reposed, yes, like share your picture,
show me off, make me feellike feel proud that you have me and
about lots of things. Yeah,social media is not everything, but it's
just a factor in dating now andit just matters. It just doys to
(22:42):
me, like I want I don'thave to be your profile picture, but
I want to be a parent inyour life on your social media well and
thinking my brother in law, healways talks about how smart Peyton is.
Who loves how smart she is,how confident she is. He's always loved
how confident she is. I lovethat. That's the kind of complimenting to
not just yeah, yeah love it. Plans random dates, yes, I
(23:07):
haven't ever had that me neither ever. It was just crazy, Like it
sounds like we're like it's sad.I will say, like my ex boyfriend
he did plan random dates, butthey were always things that he wanted to
do. It wasn't like for me. I was just in addition, yep,
thanks gentlemen. It's really that easy. Guys, just please respect me.
(23:34):
Respect you know, not a cheater, not a liar, just a
nice and then good human. It'sreally that easy. That's what's so frustrating.
And they make you feel like you'reasking for so much, and that's
what upsets me. I'm like,I literally am one of the most low
maintenance females you will ever meet,and you can't even you can't even take
care of that. Like, whatare you gonna do when you have a
(23:56):
girl who expects you to buy herthis, that and the other. Take
you heard a Chucks or Lemmings orI will I will say, I think
some men like that more because theyfeel like they even at a low,
like let's say that they only haveX amount of dollars to spend, they
still feel like they're providing, andI think they like that. That might
(24:18):
be it. Do we need tostart demanding more? I know, I'm
just kidding. Okay, So Numberone for me too is loves the Lord.
Yeah, because if you have Godin your heart, I think how
you treat me is going to justautomatically be better. Because I don't think
I like every guy I've ever datedhas been a Christian, But how you
(24:41):
pursue the Lord to me matters AndI've never felt that way until recently.
But I mean, if you're nota believer, that's not what I'm saying,
Like, oh, I never data non believer. I'm not saying
that it's just having that closeness withGod and wanting to serve others. Yeah,
and you automatically, I think ifyou're you're both Christians. Maybe not
(25:03):
automatically, but you have a goodfoundation that is similar. Yes, there's
not much question about your morals orwhere you stand. Yep. So we
talked about driven and motivated, andto add to that, I want someone
that I look up to. Iwant to feel inspired by them, and
not in a degrading way like Isaid, but I want someone who's such
a go getter that it makes mewant to be a go getter too.
(25:26):
And you also, if it's theopposite, you fall into that trap.
Like I've dated people who called offwork all the time and all this stuff,
and I'd be sitting at my deskand I'd know that they're at home
doing whatever, and I would bejust mad that I'm at work. Well,
I don't want to be at work. They don't have to be at
work. No, they have tobe at work. Yeah, they're just
a lazy That is so attractive.They're lazy and in bed right now.
(25:48):
Cute, they slept till two pm. Love that. So I want someone
who inspires me that is like reallyimportant laughs. For one, make me
laugh to laugh. Number two,I want you to think I'm one of
the funniest people you've ever met,because I am right. So you better
laugh at me, but not atme like that, but like I'm funny.
(26:11):
Yeah, okay, open minded.I don't care if your opinions,
views, all that are different thanmine. You have to respect mine and
be open minded to understanding where I'mcoming from. And be open minded to
the fact that people can change.Yes, like, don't let someone's pass
define them in your head. Beopen minded, like, hey, actually
(26:33):
they may have messed up in thisarea, but they have. Yeah,
I changed. I agree. Someonewho's open minded. Finally, someone who
becomes my best friend. So I'mgonna give a quick shout out to Kate
and Connor Shelton. So they workat Kate is my manager at the where
I line dance, and I wastalking to them on the phone last night
about this podcast episode and her husband, Connor, he's a firefighter. He's
(26:56):
like, Rile, you should togo on there and tell them basically like
scratch that list. Everyone just belike Connor Shelton because I'm all of those
things nice. But I love theconfidence confidence Connor. Oh my gosh,
why did we not hit that?Oh my gosh. Confidence is huge.
You have to be able to We'regonna come back to that. Yep.
And listening to them bicker on thephone for hours was the cutest thing ever.
I'm like, y'all truly are eachother's best friend. Yeah, yeah,
(27:18):
it was. I'm like, thisis what I want. Like y'all,
it was the cutest messing with eachother. But it went on and
on and on, and that's howthey always are. You can tell they
are truly each other's best friend.So shout out to y'all. Y'all are
so fun And Connor, I wishevery guy out there could be like you
because you said this, You saidthe bar high nice confidence, Conor.
Yeah, confidence, So I needyou to be okay for one with my
(27:41):
social media, Yeah, do notbe insecure. It is nothing personal.
It's literally just a job, yep. And confidence in order to go to
a bar with me. But no, like, my girl's gonna people are
gonna look at her, people aregonna be whatever. But the end of
the day, she's mine and noteven just that. Like I think,
I don't know, I feel likethere should be a level of like confidence
(28:03):
within that yes, like oh yes, HEYOK, that got right? You
know I agree. Confidence is soattractive. There is a fine line,
don't cross the line, but confidenceis huge. And then these are just
little things I want in my relationship. These are like how I want to
be treated. Call on face timyrandomly. I like that. Please don't
(28:25):
text me all the time. Callher face timey. I love that opens
all of my doors. Going backto the gentlemen, I want to be
treated. Maybe it's just my Southernvalues, but that's what I want.
Notes my my high school boyfriend,I would write or type long text to
one another about our feelings. Expressyour feelings to me. That is so
attractive. Coffee dates, make mecoffee, Bring me coffee. I had
(28:48):
a friend in college. Her boyfriendwould go get her Starbucks everyone and then
bring it back to her when shewake up. Little things, cooking dates,
I like that. Cook with me, dance in the kitchen with me,
call me darling. I'm a bigphysical touch person, and I'm not
talking about you know, yes,I'm talking about hold my hand in the
car, put your hand on myleg. I'm hugging me in public.
(29:10):
Yeah, like hug me, cuddleme, please, I love it,
words of affirmation. And then someonewho has hobbies and they want to share
those hobbies with me, So yes, you're your own, but help me
broaden my hobbies. Help akro.Yeah, I love that. I want
all of that too. I can't. I mean, yeah, no argument,
(29:32):
it's not And it's not like we'reasking for a lot. I didn't
say buy me a plane ticket andtake me to Hawaii. I mean,
if you want to. If youI'm not gonna say no, But that's
not what I just want to bein love. I want and I want
everything we do, everything we doto be so fun that it doesn't have
to be something exotic. We arein a good season of life right now,
(29:55):
and I just kind of wanted tosay, like an ending little thing,
the definition of single is only one, unique exclusive? What about that
is negative? Nothing? It didnot say lonely alone, no, forgotten,
no, it said unique, exclusive, only one. I freaking love
(30:19):
that. So also Ecclesiastes three.I'm not going to read the whole thing.
I'm just gonna read just about theseason that we're in. This is
one through eight. I'm not gonnaread all of it. But anyway,
there is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under the
heavens. A time to be bornand a time to die, a time
(30:40):
to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time
to heal, time to tear down, and a time to build. I
mean, it just goes on andon, and then eleven says He has
made everything beautiful in its time.He has also set an eternity in the
human heart. Yet no one canfathom what God has done from beginning to
end. Then it ends fifteen.Whatever it is has always sorry, whatever
(31:02):
is has already been, and whateverwill be has been before. So just
the season that we're in is beautiful. It's supposed to be here. We're
supposed to work through all of this. Yeah, we texted about this a
little bit, but like, truly, just let them, whoever is them
to you, whatever decisions they're making, let them because it's all all in
(31:23):
due time. Yeah, and everythingyou go through you truly grow through and
you end up better on the otherside. So we're we're happy. We're
good. Yeah, we're doing great. We were really excited about this episode
just because we love love and Valentine'sDay is not something where it's like,
oh home single and no, I'mhappily single on Valentine's Day. Yes,
and I'm happily unique. I'm happilyonly one. I'm happily exclusive. I
(31:47):
love that. And our at aGirls spotlight this week goes out to Miss
Morgan. We freakin love you,Morgan. Thank you for all of your
love and support. You are abadass woman. Oh my gosh, if
y'all see her TikTok and sagram shoyour posts, all of our Instagram stuff
and tags us with iHeart does everytime. And I love that. She
is a go get her yet she'ssweet as can be and works harder than
(32:15):
most people I know. I mean, she is a hard worker. So
we're gonna be freaking love you.Thank you for Thank you so much for
all your support. Seriously, andkeep working hard because you inspire us to
keep on going. So happy Valentine'sDay, everybody. Yes, don't forget
to love. Love. It's nota bad thing. Oh it's a beautiful
thing. Love y'all, love you,
What is up y'all? Hey,welcome back to add a Girl Podcast.
Happy Valentines, Gallantines, Yeah,Valentines, bro, and whatever you celebrate.
Happy love Day, Happy love Day. I love that. I know.
It's kind of sweet and tender.I started thinking about Valentine's Day and
why people hate it, and I'mlike, yeah, but it's about love.
(00:21):
Think about like your friends and yourfamily, and yeah, there's a
lot of things in your life thatbring you so much love. And I'm
like, I don't hate Valentine's Day. No, I actually love love.
I know me too, even ifit doesn't work out, even if it
falls short, even if I'm single. Yeah, oh my god, definite.
I love love. I will say. I saw in public the other
day they had these little stuffed animalsand it said, uh fries of four
(00:43):
guys, and it was like alittle gift for the girls, and I
was like, yes, but also, I'm not like hating on men.
No, Like I'm single, Iam especially single. Yeah, I've been.
I'm very single this Monday morning too, but yeah it's Monday for us,
Yes, it's Monday for us,but this is releasing well, it's
releasing today as in Wednesday, Valentine'sDay, but that gets confusing. Sorry,
(01:07):
we had ourselves a little weekend ofdisappointment, I guess, But I
guess it's not really disappointment now becauseno, actually it helped me lean into
my singleness a little bit, andI, yeah, I feel actually really
good about what's going on. Yes, not that they're you know, I
don't have anything negative to say aboutthe guy that ended things with me.
(01:30):
We're good. Yeah, We're good. Nothing, you know. I didn't
lean into it that way like thewhole F Men train, I'm yeah,
just trying to focus on myself.And I will honestly say the past few
situationships I've had, yeah, haveended horribly, but none of them have
led me to be like f Men. It's been more just disappointment, definitely.
(01:55):
That's all it is, is justdisappointment because I've gotten to such a
comfortable place where it's I know whatI have to offer, yep. I
know what I want one day,yep. I, And I'm not willing
to sacrifice my singleness in being happyuntil the right thing comes along. That's
it. Yeah, we know whatwe bring to the table. We just
(02:15):
have to find a good table.Yeah, And there's a lot of broken
ones, like small kiddie tables.I've been coming across a lot of tables
that have walls and barriers around it. That's any excuse for a lot of
tables of mine. See, Andthe thing that's crazy is mine. There
was a lot of walls and barriers. But then after everything, I've realized
(02:36):
I was sitting at a kiddy table. True, that's really good. There
was an age gap, but Idon't know who was older to be honest
emotionally, Yeah, yeah, yeah, So I got to stop sitting at
the kitty table. I gotta startfinding the adult tables. Yes, me
too, even if it's my age. I've always been like, oh,
I'm so into older men. I'mstarting to think because I'm like, well,
it hasn't really worked this far.Yeah. People tell me all the
(03:00):
time, it's like you're so maturefor your age. You don't know how
many times I've heard that. Yep, I always make a joke. I'm
like, it's the trauma. Seriously, I've been through so much. No,
really, I had to grow up. Yeah. I think I get
down and out about just the agething because I think we all I mean,
I don't know about you. ButI'm turning twenty five next month,
a month from today. But I'vehad a lot of like mental crisis about
(03:25):
it. I'm like, oh mygod, yes, I'm like, no,
I'm twenty five. I'm supposed tohave a house and be married and
be you know you look at everybodyelse. It's just comparison. But my
little notebook here I found. Iactually found this a few years ago,
but I've revisited it. Yeah,if y'all haven't seen Relationship Goals, the
(03:49):
Michael Todd sermon, I haven't seenit. It's Transformation Church. It's okay,
that's Michael Todd. So good RelationshipGoals is what it's called. And
it's like a I don't know howmany parts I'll have to for real listen
bh, my gosh. Okay,So he basically talks from the first episodes
(04:09):
about before the Person second Singleness.I guess it then goes dating, marriage
whatever, like the book Yes,yes, yeah, yeah, which I
haven't read and I need to read. I need to read the Singleness yes
part right now. Yeah. SoI actually listened to that both Before the
Person in Singleness this morning, somy brain's fresh. Oh heck, yeah,
(04:30):
love it. Yeah, but I'mlearning that actually singleness. He talks
a lot about how it's actually moreimportant in the marriage because there's a lot
of people who have issues in theirmarriage or dating right now. It's because
that they did not work on themselvesand figure those issues out during their singleness.
So actually, I think we're ina beautiful time. I think so
(04:53):
too, and I love that.And so my brother's girlfriend just broke up
with him a week ago. Yeah, it has to be love. Yeah,
this has been quite the opposite.Well, the thing he just had
a sermon at church this past Sundayabout whether or not it was on accident
(05:13):
or if it was something God reallywanted to happen. Yeah, and for
him, he had this moment wherehe said, you know what, I
know she was in my life fora reason. I was in a dark
time and I got out of it. And now I've grown closer to God
because of her. Yep. Andnow I get to grow by myself and
be on my own, and shegets to grow and be on her own
maybe one day. If not,that's totally fine. That means there's someone
(05:33):
else out there way better. ButI get to work on myself now.
So I can be better for Imean, he had this whole like he
was a different kid talking me onthe phone. I was like, oh
my gosh, I love it.You're back to your funds monkey talking himself.
Let me talk about you're out forforty five minutes. Yeah, but
it was such a good because Iand I've been telling my teammates, So
shout out to one of my teammates. Her name is Holly. She's from
Abile. She I don't think he'sever had a serious boyfriend. And she's
(05:57):
twenty one, right her standard.I have never met a girl genuinely whose
standards are as high as they are. And she does not she does not
waiver at all. Good for her. She's the type if a guy comes
along it doesn't work out, she'slike he wasn't good enough anyways, Like
here are all the things. Andshe talks about how her parents got married
so late in life and how hersiblings are all getting married late in life.
(06:18):
So she's never been around people whereit's been an expectation to get married
so young. Yeah. See,I think that that's the issue with comparison
to I grew up in a verysmall town and yeah, there's the whole
you know, stereotype is true.People in small towns. It's like meet
in high school, they met inchurch or whatever, like it's it's genuinely
(06:39):
a thing, and then they getmarried right after high school or even even
the college I went to. Isaw time after time, it's like they
met freshman year, got married orgot engaged junior year, got married right
after senior year. Like it's yeah, my siblings, Yeah, my brother
met his beautiful, lovely wife.She is freaking amazing, and there at
(07:00):
Taylor's oldest time. Met in highschool, got married later in life after
they were more established and just worked. Yeah. And Peyton and my sister
and my brother in law, theymet going into freshman year. There was
some concert right for freshman year,started dated all through college, got married
after college, and now have Henry. I mean they are and they are
seriously a match made in heaven.Yeah, that's how Drew and Beth are.
Yeah, And so it's one ofthose things where you look at that
(07:23):
and you're like, what the heck. Yes, we're the ones who can't
figure out. But I think Ithink our mindset just has to shift.
And I've been trying to fall intothat. And I'm not going to take
credit for this, but I didsee something on TikTok and the funny thing
about God, I don't This isa whole other topic that we could get
into, but I have not beenvery intentional with my relationship with God.
(07:47):
But the funny thing about him,he finds you even if you're not looking
right. I mean literally, Iwas scrolling on TikTok, of all places,
funny video, funny people like someonefalls, we laugh, and then
oh, there's God telling you exactlywhat you need to do exactly. Well,
that's like when I went to churchyesterday out after you've yeah, yeah,
So I saw this beautiful girl talkingabout Psalm one twenty seven to one,
(08:09):
and here's the scripture. Unless theLord builds the house, the builder's
labor in vain. Basically, unlessit's given to you specifically from God,
the work effort, just love thatyou pour into it. Unless it's right
for you, it doesn't matter.No. And it's so funny because my
(08:31):
mom has always told me every guyI've ever dated, or situationship, whatever,
it shouldn't be this hard. Yes, No, truly it shouldn't.
Because if it is sent from God, it should not be that hard.
And that doesn't mean like, don'tput effort in, don't write like especially
people talk about marriage, you haveto work at marriage. That's not what
we're saying. But two weeks intotalking to somebody, or even a month
(08:52):
of dating, and you're confused,does he like me? Does he not?
Say Megan Maroney's song Wonder, Theright person will never make you wonder?
Literally, yeah, like beautiful.It's it's not that we make it
so complicated, and part of itis dating nowadays is just different, but
still the right person who cares aboutyou, They're not gonna want you to
sit around and wonder and be insecureor not know what's going on. They're
(09:13):
gonna want you to feel cared for. They're gonna give you the same energy
you're giving them, and it's allabout serving one another. Yes, this
last person that I was with,and he was very I think he was
the kind of person that was verystuck in his ways, which is great.
Yeah, he was older and youknow, just had his own routine.
Yeah, but that had me soconfused. I've literally known this man's
(09:35):
existence for probably a month, right, I guess a little over but still
like didn't even know he existed onearth, right, And I was so
tied up, and I was like, oh my gosh, he only wants
to see me once a week ifthat, like, he must not like
me enough, and I need toremember like later when I start dating someone
new that that's fine. Yeah,they don't have to because girls and guys
(09:58):
are very different wired like right,love wired. Yes, So girls start
at one hundred percent and things chipaway at them yep, whereas guys,
guys start at zero and you theybuild it yep. And I think that's
very hard for us in dating,because I do. I start one hundred
percent. I'm like, oh,this isn't this about this guy? He's
perfect? This is how he fallsin line with me. This is how
(10:22):
we can grow an optimist and yousee good in people you have because you
have so much to give. AndI'm a hopeless romantic too. Sure,
Oh me too. I want allthe you know, sweet, I do
too. I want that, youknow, when you watch these movies,
you want that knight and shining armorlove, which one of my exes actually
(10:45):
when we broke up, he waslike, well, I think what you're
looking for a night and shining armor. You're never going to find someone who
did X, Y, and Zlike I did. And I'm like,
who cares? If I'm looking fora night and shining armor, I will
wait until I find it. That'smy ex is the exact same thing.
Yes, it was. You're you'relooking for someone perfect and you're never gonna
find it. Who says I won't? And And what's funny is so we
(11:07):
made these lists, two of thingsthat we really want and a guy,
when I read my list, itis not needy. I am not hind
maintenance. Yeah, mine's kind oflong, but it's not things that are
hard or yeah, you're not highing. No. So if that's my night
shining armor, so be it.I will wait until I find it because
(11:28):
I agree. I just and Ifor a few weeks now, have been
saying to my teammate Holly, Holly, I want to enter my single girl
era just like you. I wantto focus on me. I want to
enjoy all this time with my friendsbecause I do. I am so happy
right now outside of me situation.I'm so happy. And I was telling
(11:48):
her, I just want to bemore like you. I want to have
these standards I want to stick tothem and I want to, you know,
and then I wait yes and behappy waiting content yes. And so
yesterday at church, our message wasin order to change your life, you
have to change your mind. Yeah, and I was like, this is
hitting hard because I keep saying,Lo, I kind of want to do
(12:09):
this one of this, but like, I'm not really making a change,
right, And well I didn't reallyhave to make the change, Thank goodness.
The change was made for me yesterday. But I think it was funny
how God works. It is funnyhow God works. I'm not kidding.
I needed that because I am thetype that I give people so many chances
me me too, and that's justhow I am. My sister in law
pointed this out to me, andI kind of knew this about myself,
(12:31):
but hearing it out outwardly like hithome. Yeah. She was like,
you just accept people like you don'tlike like you don't when they come into
your life, like you don't tryto change them whatever, Like you see
them as you as they are,and you're like you change yourself to fit
(12:52):
them. Yeah, And she waslike, you don't need to do that.
No, it doesn't mean like Imean, now I'm adding on to
what she said. But I've thoughtabout that and I don't have to change
them, but they don't have tofit into my world. Like I've noticed
that I meet a good guy quoteunquote. He's not a cheater, he's
(13:13):
not a liar, you know what, all these things, he's the bare
minimum good guy. Yeah. Yeah, just because he's a good guy doesn't
mean he's the good guy. AndI try to when I meet someone and
I think it's just past relationships thathave gone wrong. Why I do that,
because well, at least they're notdoing this, this and this.
They have past relationships have lowered ourstandards, and and I texted you about
(13:35):
this. It's we have these standards, and we know all these things that
we deserve, what we want,but we start leading with our heart because
we're, like you said, theone hundred percent dive all in, and
so then leading with our head,things we care about and things that mean
a lot to us go out thewindow. Yeah, like the past guy
who didn't I mean it's not thathe didn't want to see me. He
(13:56):
was just he had his own routine. Right when I could fit into that
routine was when we saw each other. Yeah, and I don't want that.
No, I accepted it. Iwas like, well, I don't
want to be too pushy. Indeven tell me, well, I think
it's a more mature way to goabout dating. Yeah, and it is
to it, but isn't Also youhave to look at what you want and
(14:16):
what you need. Yeah. Ilike words of affirmation, and I like
physical touch, and I like,you know, quality time, quality time.
That's not too much to ask.And truly I wasn't receiving any of
any of it but you. Andthen it makes you tell yourself, well,
maybe it's because I'm this, ormaybe i'm this, or maybe no.
And I kept I kept telling myself. When I would get upset about
(14:37):
it in my head or like eventalk to my brother and Beth about it,
I would just be like, well, I'm just being dramatic, I'm
being too pushy, Like I'm justI'm wanting too much, Like he has
his own thing and he's more maturethan me, and blah blah blah blah.
No, No, that's me makingsomething else fit. Yep. It's
like a puzzle piece that it justdoesn't fit and I'm cramming it. And
I do that every time. Yep. I do that, or if there
(15:00):
are things that I'm not okay with, I'm like, well, I can
fix it. I'm such a gogetter. Oh, well we can change
this. I'll make sure this changesbecause I'm so this, that and the
other. Like I can make surehe's more like that. Yeah, And
I think we find ourselves like whenwe look back at relationships, our favorite
parts of relationships have been our efforts. Yes, well this past one it
(15:22):
was only my effort. Yeah,that was the only reason we saw each
other. And that's ultimately what frustratedhim is because I didn't make an effort
and so I got blocked. Sweet, but it's true. And so then
I was texting some of my teammatesabout it yesterday because they actually have a
lot for them to be so muchyounger than me, they have a lot
(15:43):
of wisdom. Yeah, no,really, I get that. I was
like, dang, girls, okay, hitting me hard because one girl was
explaining how if it's the right guysent from God, it's not anything I'm
gonna have to work that hard at. I'm gonna feel taken care of.
Yeah, and it's builder's labor inva exactly. You won't even have to
(16:03):
build the house, He'll just havea house exactly. I don't know if
that's literally what it should mean,but it's kind of. I mean,
yeah, because it's not going towork. It will not work, it
will not last. And that's whatAnd they were like, every guy you've
ever been with, you're putting inall this effor all this time, and
you stress over it. Why?Yes, why are you so worried about
(16:23):
making things work with a guy thatshould be pursuing you. I think I
forget that too. Yeah, Andit's one of those things because it's twenty
twenty four women strong, And yes, I am strong, I am independent.
I'm a go getter. I havecareer aspirations. I personally have no
desire to be a stay at homelike housewife. That is just not me.
(16:45):
Yeah, but that doesn't mean Ican't have a guy to take care
of me. It doesn't because forme, who knows. Sorry we have
the giggles for a second. Ijust the past relationship I just talked about.
Pretty sure? Is that him?Good? Hey? They always come
back. I'm just kidding, theyalways come back. Sorry, Well,
(17:10):
what were we talking about? You'rea getter, so I'm the type.
This is what I truly want.This is like me genuinely. I want
a guy who knows I can takecare of myself, who knows I'm independent
and strong, but wants to takecare of me and take care of me,
not in a degrading way of like, oh, you're a female,
(17:30):
let me just you know, youwant to be able to shut your brain
off and I want I want someoneto take care of me. Yes,
we all do. We're women atour core. That doesn't mean that we
have to give up, you know, the driven career. It doesn't mean
you're not strong. No, itdoesn't, not at all. Yeah,
but that's I've never and I've neverhad that. I've never had that.
(17:53):
Get that. I think we shouldgo about our lists now, Okay,
do you want to start? Ican, yeah, okay. I also
split mine up with characteristics like traitsof person, and then things I want
to do and how I want tobe treated, like the hopeless romantic part
of it. I like that mine. Mine is actually really simple. And
(18:14):
when I read this, like,I'm sure some people are gonna be like,
well, yeah, duh, butif you just knew, like what
I've accepted in the past, it'sactually none of this right, which is
when I was writing this out andI was, you know, looking at
it, I was like, oh, so I just want a good person.
Literally the last point is good humanand that's so that's just but it's
(18:38):
really not ugh anyway what I wanteda man, let's hear it. I
want them to be intentional. Yes, I want them to consider me.
Like what I mean by that,it's like when you're making a decision,
I'm not there. I want toat least be considered. Yeah, how
will this make her feel? Ifit affects me, if it doesn't,
(18:59):
whatever, But like I want,you know, hey, I'm not gonna
be on my phone very much today, just that consideration, Like I should
probably let her know. I wantto think about how she would feel if
I did this, because I alwaysthe decisions I make, I always make
thinking about how is this can makeme feel? Just considered? Yep,
it's really not that hard to baby. No, I feel the same way.
(19:22):
It's frustrating. Yeah, that's whyI think I get so frustrated.
I think that's what. Yes,I agree. The third one is Goofy
Golden Retriever energy. I want agoof goofy yes person and here's my thing.
You don't have to be the loudestin the room. But I want
you to be comfortable enough in yourown skin that you can make full of
yourself and you don't carry don't getembarrassed, but you can have fun with
me out in public. And Ican still be way louder, way more
(19:45):
whoo than you, but you haveto be a goof yep, I totally
agree. Next one, good familyand friends, yes, and more of
what I mean, Like, theydon't have to be just the most magnificent
people I've ever met, Like,that's not what I mean. I just
mean you have a good, solidrelationship with them, and I'm not the
only relationship that you feed into,right. I actually don't want that,
(20:06):
and I totally agree. I wroteabout having a family being a family person
because I've dated a lot of guyswho have not come from good families,
but what they want one day andhaving that desire to love a family and
even be a part of my family. You come join and be a family
person in my family. As longas you have that kind of heart of
(20:27):
being a family person, even ifyou don't come from the best of families,
that matters a lot agreed, hastheir own hobbies and interests. Preach,
preach, preach, and I actuallydon't even care what it is.
No, you can build legos onSaturday night, but do something it's for
me. So I actually wrote thathas hobbies and parentheses so attractive because I
(20:52):
don't care what it is. Youhaving something that you're really passionate about is
cute. Well, that's another onepassionate. And whether that's a new career,
I hope it is because I likeit in that I don't. I
know women get a bad stick aboutthey only want money. I really don't
care what your career is as longas you're passionate and you're working hard and
you're trying to level up. Isaid, driven slash motivated. No matter
(21:14):
what it is that they are doing, I want them to do it to
the best of their abilities. Yes, because I'm the same way. I'm
not money driven. I don't carewhat your job is, but I want
you to work so hard at it. I make money, I make my
own. It could Yes, becausethat is so attractive a guy who works
hard. And one thing I've learned, how you are in one area of
your life bleeds into all areas.So if you work hard at your job,
you're gonna work hard at our relationship, and you're gonna work hard at
(21:36):
being a father. With day,you're gonna work hard. And if you
aren't driven, if you don't workhard at work, you're not gonna work
hard to me either. Effort completely. Your effort is a parent in all
that you do. And I hadto learn that the hard way. Yeah,
I agree, but that's a hugeone. Complimentary Yeah, I mean
I do too. Me self absorbwhatever. I don't care. I need
(22:00):
someone who and I don't even careif you're calling me beautiful every day,
like do it something like made mefeel like I'm the prettiest person you've ever
met, or just compliment me ingeneral, like hey, I saw that
you were doing this, this andthis. You did great. I'm proud
of you. Like I even guyswho I've dated in the past, or
(22:21):
my first love, he would slideup on every story even though he's dating
me. I'm like, you're datingme. You get to see me all
day day, but you slide upon every story telling me how pretty I
am. I like when they reposed, yes, like share your picture,
show me off, make me feellike feel proud that you have me and
about lots of things. Yeah,social media is not everything, but it's
just a factor in dating now andit just matters. It just doys to
(22:42):
me, like I want I don'thave to be your profile picture, but
I want to be a parent inyour life on your social media well and
thinking my brother in law, healways talks about how smart Peyton is.
Who loves how smart she is,how confident she is. He's always loved
how confident she is. I lovethat. That's the kind of complimenting to
not just yeah, yeah love it. Plans random dates, yes, I
(23:07):
haven't ever had that me neither ever. It was just crazy, Like it
sounds like we're like it's sad.I will say, like my ex boyfriend
he did plan random dates, butthey were always things that he wanted to
do. It wasn't like for me. I was just in addition, yep,
thanks gentlemen. It's really that easy. Guys, just please respect me.
(23:34):
Respect you know, not a cheater, not a liar, just a
nice and then good human. It'sreally that easy. That's what's so frustrating.
And they make you feel like you'reasking for so much, and that's
what upsets me. I'm like,I literally am one of the most low
maintenance females you will ever meet,and you can't even you can't even take
care of that. Like, whatare you gonna do when you have a
(23:56):
girl who expects you to buy herthis, that and the other. Take
you heard a Chucks or Lemmings orI will I will say, I think
some men like that more because theyfeel like they even at a low,
like let's say that they only haveX amount of dollars to spend, they
still feel like they're providing, andI think they like that. That might
(24:18):
be it. Do we need tostart demanding more? I know, I'm
just kidding. Okay, So Numberone for me too is loves the Lord.
Yeah, because if you have Godin your heart, I think how
you treat me is going to justautomatically be better. Because I don't think
I like every guy I've ever datedhas been a Christian, But how you
(24:41):
pursue the Lord to me matters AndI've never felt that way until recently.
But I mean, if you're nota believer, that's not what I'm saying,
Like, oh, I never data non believer. I'm not saying
that it's just having that closeness withGod and wanting to serve others. Yeah,
and you automatically, I think ifyou're you're both Christians. Maybe not
(25:03):
automatically, but you have a goodfoundation that is similar. Yes, there's
not much question about your morals orwhere you stand. Yep. So we
talked about driven and motivated, andto add to that, I want someone
that I look up to. Iwant to feel inspired by them, and
not in a degrading way like Isaid, but I want someone who's such
a go getter that it makes mewant to be a go getter too.
(25:26):
And you also, if it's theopposite, you fall into that trap.
Like I've dated people who called offwork all the time and all this stuff,
and I'd be sitting at my deskand I'd know that they're at home
doing whatever, and I would bejust mad that I'm at work. Well,
I don't want to be at work. They don't have to be at
work. No, they have tobe at work. Yeah, they're just
a lazy That is so attractive.They're lazy and in bed right now.
(25:48):
Cute, they slept till two pm. Love that. So I want someone
who inspires me that is like reallyimportant laughs. For one, make me
laugh to laugh. Number two,I want you to think I'm one of
the funniest people you've ever met,because I am right. So you better
laugh at me, but not atme like that, but like I'm funny.
(26:11):
Yeah, okay, open minded.I don't care if your opinions,
views, all that are different thanmine. You have to respect mine and
be open minded to understanding where I'mcoming from. And be open minded to
the fact that people can change.Yes, like, don't let someone's pass
define them in your head. Beopen minded, like, hey, actually
(26:33):
they may have messed up in thisarea, but they have. Yeah,
I changed. I agree. Someonewho's open minded. Finally, someone who
becomes my best friend. So I'mgonna give a quick shout out to Kate
and Connor Shelton. So they workat Kate is my manager at the where
I line dance, and I wastalking to them on the phone last night
about this podcast episode and her husband, Connor, he's a firefighter. He's
(26:56):
like, Rile, you should togo on there and tell them basically like
scratch that list. Everyone just belike Connor Shelton because I'm all of those
things nice. But I love theconfidence confidence Connor. Oh my gosh,
why did we not hit that?Oh my gosh. Confidence is huge.
You have to be able to We'regonna come back to that. Yep.
And listening to them bicker on thephone for hours was the cutest thing ever.
I'm like, y'all truly are eachother's best friend. Yeah, yeah,
(27:18):
it was. I'm like, thisis what I want. Like y'all,
it was the cutest messing with eachother. But it went on and
on and on, and that's howthey always are. You can tell they
are truly each other's best friend.So shout out to y'all. Y'all are
so fun And Connor, I wishevery guy out there could be like you
because you said this, You saidthe bar high nice confidence, Conor.
Yeah, confidence, So I needyou to be okay for one with my
(27:41):
social media, Yeah, do notbe insecure. It is nothing personal.
It's literally just a job, yep. And confidence in order to go to
a bar with me. But no, like, my girl's gonna people are
gonna look at her, people aregonna be whatever. But the end of
the day, she's mine and noteven just that. Like I think,
I don't know, I feel likethere should be a level of like confidence
(28:03):
within that yes, like oh yes, HEYOK, that got right? You
know I agree. Confidence is soattractive. There is a fine line,
don't cross the line, but confidenceis huge. And then these are just
little things I want in my relationship. These are like how I want to
be treated. Call on face timyrandomly. I like that. Please don't
(28:25):
text me all the time. Callher face timey. I love that opens
all of my doors. Going backto the gentlemen, I want to be
treated. Maybe it's just my Southernvalues, but that's what I want.
Notes my my high school boyfriend,I would write or type long text to
one another about our feelings. Expressyour feelings to me. That is so
attractive. Coffee dates, make mecoffee, Bring me coffee. I had
(28:48):
a friend in college. Her boyfriendwould go get her Starbucks everyone and then
bring it back to her when shewake up. Little things, cooking dates,
I like that. Cook with me, dance in the kitchen with me,
call me darling. I'm a bigphysical touch person, and I'm not
talking about you know, yes,I'm talking about hold my hand in the
car, put your hand on myleg. I'm hugging me in public.
(29:10):
Yeah, like hug me, cuddleme, please, I love it,
words of affirmation. And then someonewho has hobbies and they want to share
those hobbies with me, So yes, you're your own, but help me
broaden my hobbies. Help akro.Yeah, I love that. I want
all of that too. I can't. I mean, yeah, no argument,
(29:32):
it's not And it's not like we'reasking for a lot. I didn't
say buy me a plane ticket andtake me to Hawaii. I mean,
if you want to. If youI'm not gonna say no, But that's
not what I just want to bein love. I want and I want
everything we do, everything we doto be so fun that it doesn't have
to be something exotic. We arein a good season of life right now,
(29:55):
and I just kind of wanted tosay, like an ending little thing,
the definition of single is only one, unique exclusive? What about that
is negative? Nothing? It didnot say lonely alone, no, forgotten,
no, it said unique, exclusive, only one. I freaking love
(30:19):
that. So also Ecclesiastes three.I'm not going to read the whole thing.
I'm just gonna read just about theseason that we're in. This is
one through eight. I'm not gonnaread all of it. But anyway,
there is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under the
heavens. A time to be bornand a time to die, a time
(30:40):
to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time
to heal, time to tear down, and a time to build. I
mean, it just goes on andon, and then eleven says He has
made everything beautiful in its time.He has also set an eternity in the
human heart. Yet no one canfathom what God has done from beginning to
end. Then it ends fifteen.Whatever it is has always sorry, whatever
(31:02):
is has already been, and whateverwill be has been before. So just
the season that we're in is beautiful. It's supposed to be here. We're
supposed to work through all of this. Yeah, we texted about this a
little bit, but like, truly, just let them, whoever is them
to you, whatever decisions they're making, let them because it's all all in
(31:23):
due time. Yeah, and everythingyou go through you truly grow through and
you end up better on the otherside. So we're we're happy. We're
good. Yeah, we're doing great. We were really excited about this episode
just because we love love and Valentine'sDay is not something where it's like,
oh home single and no, I'mhappily single on Valentine's Day. Yes,
and I'm happily unique. I'm happilyonly one. I'm happily exclusive. I
(31:47):
love that. And our at aGirls spotlight this week goes out to Miss
Morgan. We freakin love you,Morgan. Thank you for all of your
love and support. You are abadass woman. Oh my gosh, if
y'all see her TikTok and sagram shoyour posts, all of our Instagram stuff
and tags us with iHeart does everytime. And I love that. She
is a go get her yet she'ssweet as can be and works harder than
(32:15):
most people I know. I mean, she is a hard worker. So
we're gonna be freaking love you.Thank you for Thank you so much for
all your support. Seriously, andkeep working hard because you inspire us to
keep on going. So happy Valentine'sDay, everybody. Yes, don't forget
to love. Love. It's nota bad thing. Oh it's a beautiful
thing. Love y'all, love you,
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