February 21, 2024 • 31 mins
If you struggle with being confident, Riley and Cam break down just how much power is in confidence.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
What's up, y'all. Welcome backto Atgirl podcast. I'm Cam and I'm
Riley, and we're so excited tobe back with you guys. Lots have
been happening. Oh yeah, livinglife, enjoying life. But what's going
on? I got pulled over thismorning, Tipiti. That's the worst fun
fact. Knock on wood. Ohmy gosh, this stresses me out.
(00:20):
But I've actually only ever gotten pulledover one time, and it was because
my tag light was out. Gethome, Dad checks it. It wasn't
out in the world, right,They're just trying to bother you. I
was like, like, I meancrying, crying. I've gotten pulled over
(00:40):
lots of time, so I've beenlucky. I've never got a ticket.
Uh I did once, But anyway, well, see, the nice thing
is since my jeep is a fivespeed, like there's a max top speed.
Sure sure, not really speed init, so that's kinda saved me.
Oh well. Over the weekend,I was hanging out with my family
and I was trying to find adropbox, cocader, my username and all
(01:00):
that stuff. So I'm going throughmy notes because I'm like, I know
I have this dropbox somewhere and Istumbled across a text that I sent my
ex when I was in high school. Okay, so I used to always
draft my text and my notes.Me too, I've done it, Yeah,
reread to make sure it's good beforeyou send it to your friends.
You're a proof read, yes,And I mean it made me so sad
(01:21):
because I sit here and know whoI am today, but I forget the
person I was in high school.Yeah, or even a few years ago.
How far you have come since?So I'm only going to read parts
of it. But I texted andI said, I'm struggling so bad right
now, Babe. I feel likeI was on such a high and now
(01:42):
I'm at such a low. Ithought I would be going on a cruiser
spring break, but then it didn'tget invited. Though I was going to
the beach with Julia and she's goingwith Keegan. I thought I could run
track and rush, but I can't. I was so pumped Mercedes, but
I didn't feel pretty at all thatnight, especially after seeing a girl who
used to have a thing with Itmade me at you because I wouldn't have
felt that way if you hadn't donewhat you did with her. You also
(02:05):
didn't slow dance with me, AndI looked over and she was slow dancing
with her boyfriend. And that's kindof all I wanted from you. Blah
blah blah blah blah. Then Isaid that I feel like I'm not going
to vault in college. I've failedmy younger self. I won't be reaching
my goals. There's so much pressureright now. I don't know what to
do. I don't know how tohave fun anymore with anything in life.
(02:27):
I keep looking too far ahead andI don't live in the present. I
hate my body right now. Ifeel like I don't know how I want
to look, and no matter what, I won't ever be satisfied. I
feel too fat. Then I feelskinny. I lost my butt and I've
never had boobs. I have noself confidence. I feel like everything's gone
downhill. I don't feel pretty anymore. I have no friends, I only
get to see you twice a week. I feel like I'm not in a
(02:49):
happy place right now, and Idon't know what to do. Life just
kind of sucks. Riley No,but seriously, that is so common.
I probably have said a text identicalto that. I just was like,
oh, my gosh, because growingup and one thing I talked to my
parents about because I shared that messageof them, and they were like,
Riley, we had no idea,right, And that was senior year of
(03:10):
high school. Yeah, And Iwas like, honestly, I guess I
didn't know either because I was goingthrough it. But I didn't really know
what I was going through, right, Yeah. And then for them,
they were like, we always thoughtyou were super confident. You know where
did we fail as parents? AndI thought to myself, I've always been
confident growing up a gymnast. Iwas powerful, I was strong, I
(03:34):
was an athlete. I was reallygood at what I was doing. I
was seeing success. So where Ihad a lot of confidence in that area
of my life, Yes, Ithink because also I had quit dranastics,
So this is a turning point whereI had quit and I was pull vaulting.
So I think I just didn't knowwho I was. I had an
identity crisis. But I mean Iremember having no confidence. I remember getting
(04:00):
I'm so mad at him because hewasn't complimenting me enough. I was looking
for reassurance and confidence from him.Yeah, validation, validation, yeah,
and somebody else it's so common.I've been through that a thousand times,
and I think I think I wentthrough that until senior year of college.
(04:21):
Yeah. I think a lot ofwomen associate confidence strictly with looks. Yes,
and once you literally, I mean, once you realize and break past
that thought, the whole world opensup for you in comparison. Yes,
yes, because I think that's whatI was doing so much in high school.
(04:45):
And then I got to college anddating wasn't bad until that two and
a half year period were we bothyeah right, and our confidence plummeted even
more right, Yeah, And wewere constantly trying to be a n yeah
for this person. And while duringall of it, it sucked because I
(05:06):
compared myself to every single girl hefollowed, oh my gosh, comments he
was commenting on girls pages, yep. And I mean even when he was
liking I was one of those crazygirls, I did the exact same thing,
and then I was like, whylook nothing like her? Oh my
gosh. That was my biggest complaintbecause all of the girls, all of
the girls that he would like,follow, you know whatever, talk to.
(05:30):
Yeah, Unfortunately, they were allvery like edgy stranger, you know
what. I mean that was actuallythe same for me. Yes, they
were completely tattered, like black hairedgy. Stop wait, this is seriously
actually we've never talked about this before. That's crazy because saying I'm not kidding
black hair covered in tats, lipfiller, likes crazy boob job. Yeah
(05:56):
yeah, same here. And it'snot like they were pretty. Yeah,
I'm not taking away from those girls, but not at what we look like.
Completely had That had me completely mindboggled because I was like, how
do you tell me you love meand want me and think I'm beautiful and
all this stuff when this is whatyou that's what you like? Yeah obviously
(06:17):
literally like you lilyally like it.Yeah, that's what you're going for,
is what I felt like. SoI also had that same mind It a
crisis, yes, and so thatI mean, and that happens when it
happens over and over again and thenyou bring it up and then it's you
have an insecurity Oh it's your problem. No, you need to be more
secure with yourself. Yeah, howam I supposed to be more secure with
(06:40):
myself when you were not helping thesituation. I'm trying, but you're making
it really bad. Yeah. Yeah, So it was going through all of
that that sucked in the moment,but then when we got on the other
side of it, Yeah, wespent all that time proving who we were
to ourselves. Yes, that's sucha good point. And I don't think
that I've even thought that far.Like I thought, I just like made
(07:02):
it to the other side and I'mlike, oooh, that was stuff.
I did it though. It's becausethis whole time we've been putting in work
for someone else, and on theother side of it, it was just
us that got to appreciate it.Yeah, and learn what we love about
ourselves. What And I've gotten tothe point and I stay, I stick
to this and I mean it whenI say this. I don't get offended
(07:26):
or upset when a guy turns medown. It's now like disappointed that they
don't see what I have to offer. Yeah, I feel the same way
I've been just recently. Even Iliked this boy so much truly, and
I like and I'm the type ofperson like, if I have a crush
on you, like I have tomake sure this might sound psycho, I
(07:47):
have to make sure every aspect ofyou will fit into my life. Yes,
and he did like, well,the version of him in my head,
who knows, really you never know. But the version of him that
I saw, I don't know.I don't think I know you do.
But truck driver okay, okay,yes, yes driver man he first,
(08:07):
Yeah, we have first boy witha nickname. He just doesn't like me.
He just doesn't like I put inso much effort and it's fine.
Like I had to really look atmyself and be like, dude, shut
up, like you're good. Yes, who cares? Like I would?
I keep snapchatting him and be like, hey, wait can I see you
(08:28):
next? Blah blah blah like whatever, and I just keep getting like wishy
washy answers or either just rejected andif he would just like if she wanted
to, she would. It goesboth ways. Yeah, so anyway,
Yeah, you can't. You can'tlook at it like you're getting rejected.
No, And it doesn't do anythingto my confidence when a guy isn't interested
in me, no, because forme it was it was uh the guy
(08:52):
who ended up ghosting me, right, I guess we can call him race
car driver there you go, ordrag racer. He's a drag racer.
There was a drag racer man.I really liked him, and I've been
so against wanting to be in arelationship me too. And then we were
(09:13):
seeing each other off and on andit was great and I really liked him.
And then he just started ghosting meand then flat out ghosted me,
and I honestly thought I was goingto be devastated. I was like,
oh, no, the day ishere? What? And I was fine
because I also was thinking to myself, if he can't acknowledge what I have
to offer, that's on him.Yeah, that's not on me. And
also like I've had to really takean unselfish look at it too, like
(09:37):
I am so in my head andI'm like, no, but I have
this, this and this, andI can do this, and I would
do this whatever. They might haveso much going on that I don't fit
with them. They might be theymight be putting myself in their world and
realizing that there's qualities about me thatwouldn't fit. Right, That's fine,
that's okay, It's so normal.Yes, And I get so worked up
(09:58):
in selfish truly, Yeah, weall do. And it does it in
the past. Now that I'm onthe other side, I'm grateful, But
in the past it would get meto that point of feeling like, oh
no, I'm just not good enough, like they don't like me because of
this about me and this about me. No, And then you know,
it also gets exhausting constantly proving yourself. I mean I would come home and
(10:22):
talk about my grades to prove Ipromise I'm smart. Yeah, I would
talk about practice, and I'd wantto compete so well to be like,
you can be proud of me.I'm athletic. Yeah. I would try
to cook and clean and do laundryand take care of him to show him,
no, I can, I can, you know, take care of
you. And I was trying totake place as his mom and that is
not my role as a girlfriend.You were giving wife wife qualities to a
(10:46):
boyfriend. Yes, and we've allbeen there. Yes, I've done that
oh so many times. But trulynow it was the biggest blessing. And
another thing I've found is during allof that, I created a Pinterest board
called amen to that Okay, andit's a bunch of you know, uplifting.
(11:09):
Eventually you will meet a man who'stired of Games two, and his
loyalty will match yours perfect, lotsof different things, and then are at
a girl pinterest in spo. Onething I love is talking about yourself.
Choose a good heart, not agood face. That's what you're looking for
and yourself. And then also,you are only as pretty as you treat
(11:31):
people. Yes, and so thenyour mind starts shifting from comparing yourself to
how all these girls look, topersonality to personality. Once I realized that
I there's so many times and I'mnot like gassing myself well you know what,
not in a cocky way. Butonce I realized that I am a
(11:56):
lot of the time the funnest inthe room, absolutely, like truly,
and I don't give a crap,Like, no, I will look stupid
in front of the president. Thatcan embarrass yourself, exactly, It does
not bother me. You might besnickering in a corner like, oh my
god, what's that girl doing.I'm having a blast. What are you
doing? It encourages me to keepgoing like, oh you want to look
(12:16):
and make fun watch this? Yeah, I'm gonna do the split. I
keep watching it back right now?Can you not be able to take your
eyes off me? No? Really, I just once you realize that the
personality is what matters, and that'swhere you should be pulling confidence from.
You're truly unstoppable. Well and becauseif you think about it, looks might
get a guy, but what keepsa guy Exactly? Yeah, I don't
(12:39):
even want to talk about him becausehe probably just fed me all this lives.
But my ex he did say thatin a worse conversation. Okay,
so he had slept with someone elsewhile dating me. Oh sweet, so
nice. That's kind. But honestly, he said something that didn't help his
(13:01):
case but helped me. He saidhe was like, no, like I
mean she was hot or whatever,like what, but like she had no
personality like you, I can havefun with you, and like you're hot
on top of that. But okay, let's let's pretend that that didn't hurt
my feelings at the time. Whosays that it's just it, But it's
(13:26):
the point, like she may havecaught his eye and he ran with it
unfortunately, but he's still And thisis not praising a cheater. Absolutely,
if you're ever in this situation,do not take what I'm saying and be
like Cam said, at least hedid this so I can stay with him,
don't know, don't be like me, but don't be like Cam please
(13:48):
God please, it's true though,like he's stuck around for my personality.
Thanks babe. Yeah, that's right, but it's I mean, that's just
that's what That's what keeps a guy, I guess. And I also think
it's a maturity to maturity thing withguys is at a young age, they
are looking for what looks good,and we look amazing. I'm not down
(14:09):
on as I'm saying we don't lookgood. All we've got is I'm not
saying that. But all we focuson right now is personality. But a
guy, I mean, they're lookingfor the biggest boobs in the room,
the right blonde hair. I don'tknow what actually they're looking for, but
that's what they're looking for right when, especially right when you get to college.
And then once guys kind of realize, oh I need a wife one
(14:31):
day, What qualities do I wantin a wife? Yeah? And so
girls, even if you're a freshmanor sophomore or just in college, you
just got there and you feel,oh my goodness, I have to sacrifice
this about myself just to get hisattention, or if I just send that
one picture, maybe he'll like memore. No. No, it's worth
the weight to discover and find yourselfand find your confidence and be true to
(14:54):
yourself, because the right guy isgonna come around, even if it's later
on, and you're even just yourreputation and the type of person you are.
I at the bar, I workin Rhythm Rhythm BRS and Tessalusa,
our door guy. He's so funnybecause he'll always be like, Ole,
you're just so pretty. I'm like, I thank you, that's so nice.
But I know there's ten fifteen otherwomen in here that are pretty.
(15:16):
Yeah, and he goes, yeah, but I would put all my money
on you if a guy had tohave a sixty second conversation. Oh yeah,
exactly, Its exactly. But I'mproud of that. I'm not comparing
myself to all these other pretty menanymore. And I don't go to a
bar to find a man or forthe attention. I go to have a
good time. I think that's whata lot of guys can't understand, because
(15:39):
sorry, boys, a lot ofguys are going to bars to fund women.
Yes, absolutely their main goal forthe night. Yes, women are
there to dance genuinely. Yeah,just dance and have fun with their girlfriends
the time, even sometimes have funwith guys like but not go home,
not not anything more than that.It's a fun night. Yeah, but
(16:00):
you as a female, you don'thave fun when you're constantly looking around like,
well, do you see what she'swearing? Oh, do you see
her hair? Do you see Andhere's one thing too, I'm gonna say,
confident women don't talk crap about otherwomen. Yeah, because I can't
remember the last time I just satthere and picked a party girl. No
anymore. I mean when I wasin that relationship, every girl that I
(16:21):
was jealous so I hated that.I mean, I would say she's ugly,
and that is I mean, Ilook back and I'm like, I
can't believe I was so hateful toso many women that didn't anything to me.
Yeah, and they weren't ugly.They weren't. No, they weren't.
Unfortunately I wish they were, butthey weren't. Too. I wish
there was like something actually where Iwas like, yeah, but really there
wasn't. It sucks, but dumbit It's just so true that what makes
(16:47):
you pretty is not what's on theoutside. It might be a first glance
or even when I meet a guy, Yes, he as long as he's
someone I'm attracted to, I'm goingto talk to him. But your personality
makes it or breaks it right,it makes you ten times more attractive.
I mean, do I have hadso many people tell me like, I
mean, yeah, like you're apretty girl. But once I got to
(17:08):
know you, Yes, every time. I mean, just like clockwork,
I just know the conversation that's aboutto happen. Do you know how many
times I've gotten pulled into like asolo dolu conversation, Like I just I
just had to get you alone tolike really just get to know you better.
Yeah, I just had to getyou alone because I mean, the
way I feel is insane to me, and I've never felt this way so
(17:32):
quickly. You have like this magic. Yeah, like you just draw people
in. Yes, and then peoplefeel like they can tell you every year
even yes, Yeah, Oh mygosh. I just want y'all to know
if you think that there's a secretabout anyone, I probably know it because
they told me. Yes. Idon't know why. I don't know why,
but I love it. I'm gladthat people feel like they can talk
(17:52):
to me, but I know everyone'ssecrets. I'm sEH and like genuine and
so unjudgment non judgmental. Yes,I could not give it. You could
tell me. You could genuinely tellme, like hey, like I had
a bad night. I murdered mybest friend's husband whoops. And I'd be
like, oh, it's okay,Like what are you gonna do next?
It happens. We all get frustratedat times. I mean, yeah,
(18:17):
I get it, don't even worryabout it. But I mean not literally
I do. I'll give you atalking to if you're really messing up.
But like Kelsea Valerini's if you godown, I'm going down to No.
Literally that's how I am. Butthe person like even even this job I
just got, yes, I interviewed, did I genuinely have every qualification they
(18:41):
were looking for? They've told mestraight up no, right, But of
all the other people that interviewed whohad it on paper, they said,
like my big big boss, Yeah, he was like you just I don't
know. You stuck with us.Yes, Like after I interviewed, I
got a call. He was like, yeah, we'll call you in like
a few days. I got tocall an hour later like yeah, you
(19:03):
got the job. I'm like,oh, perfect, amazing. I needed
that. But really it's it's allabout because I didn't go in there completely
confident in the jobs, right.No. Confidence comes from a lot of
places and you apply it everywhere.It's not just boys, it's not just
you know what I but I wasconfident that I was going to have at
least a good conversation. Yes,absolutely, because and part of it too
(19:26):
is when finding confidence, you learnhow to be comfortable in your own skin.
Yes, so it is so mucheasier to talk to people and even
network or job interviews or meet peopleout at a bar. When you're comfortable
in your own skin, having thoseconversations isn't scary. And I think too,
I've always had at least one friendthat I was good bouncing off of
(19:49):
because and I think it's because findinggood women to surround yourself or men whatever
to surround yourself with, there's nocompetition between the two, so the bouncing
off is genuine, like it's you'renot you don't feel like you're competing and
like over outdoing each other. Thatis such a true statement. Yeah,
I think when you can feel genuinelyconfident in your own skin and you're not
(20:12):
competing with your girlfriends. And becauseI've been there too, Like it's a
horrible feeling. You find good peopleto surround yourself with. You love yourself,
yeah, you love everyone around you. Yeah, you're good. It's
just good vibes. Yeah, offof good vibes, off of good vibes.
Like that's honestly, your energy justcarries and it's being matched and yeah,
(20:33):
it's that's one of the best feelingsis when you finally find that group
of girls or guys that make youand they allow you to be yourself and
you have no inclination that they're talkingbad about your behind your back, and
no, like I do not thecurrent friends that I have, Like,
I mean, I understand maybe rantingabout a friend like that's normal times,
yes, so normal, but likejust dogging me behind my back over nonsense,
(20:59):
I don't have that. I thankgod. I mean, it took
time to get there, and Ithink that also is part of confidence growth,
because I mean, it's hard whenyou're already not confident, then you
find out friends are talking bad aboutyou, and then you're dealing with relationships.
It is hard navigating life and findingyour confidence and finding yourself. But
(21:19):
it's like you finally get to thispoint. And I'm sure it happened sooner
for others and later for others,because for us it kind of happened through
our relationships. And then also Ithink for me, I also found friends
that stuck with me through all ofthat, and friends who just resented me
for staying as long as I did. Yes, they didn't get it.
So you just kind of really navigateso much in life, and then you
(21:42):
get to this point where now I'msurrounded by so many positive females and girls
that aren't jealous, but they liftyou up and it's a good time when
you go and do things with them. And then you're confident in yourself even
when you are approached by people atours or at the grocery store or wherever,
the gym, And a lot ofit comes from genuinely just not caring.
(22:04):
Oh you know what I mean.And it's so funny, you know,
it's so funny. You hear thatall the time growing up, and
it's as soon as you can learnand not care, and you like obviously
like, oh I don't care,but you do. Oh my gosh,
you care so much. Once youdon't care, You're like, oh wait,
I used to actually care, youknow, I actually don't care.
Once you genuinely don't care. Ohmy gosh, you feel so free.
(22:25):
I mean it's freeing. You don'tstress about what you're wearing. No,
and I in the dress not greatexactly. Yeah, as long as I
look appropriate for the function, Ido not care. But I will admit,
like, I mean, there arethere have been times and even like
recent like I've wanted or I haveedited a picture like oh it's kind of
(22:47):
looks funny or whatever. But like, and I've been lucky enough throughout my
life to not let body, image, confidence, whatever hold me back.
And I think a lot of girlsdo that. It's so normal. Like
I've had friends in the past thatwould skip high school because they had like
a big pimple on their forehead.Yeah, they would skip a three days.
(23:08):
I also both went through and Ifact it was acutane. I'm really
glad that I didn't need to becauseactually having so much acne at all times,
yes, like just it didn't matter. Makeup didn't help a thing.
I think that actually helped my confidencein a very strange way because it yes,
you did not care what you lookedlike because you couldn't control that.
(23:30):
Yeah, it was. It wasso it was just unmanageable. You couldn't
cover it. It hurt, ithurt, it was. It was horrible
for me with workouts. I mean, my face would gets the red and
they'd get even more red and sweaty, and I can't wear makeup two workouts.
I mean, I just had tobe like, here I am.
You guys, what I look like? You just love me for me?
Yeah, But I mean it wasactually beautiful at the end of it.
(23:52):
Like once I got rid of it, you know, I realized, like,
oh my god, that was reallyActually that helped me because if you
can go out and about without makeupbombing like that. I mean, and
when I say my acne was badpizza face, well people when I show
pictures because people don't believe it,and I show a picture too, Yet
it was all here and mine wasmy entire face, forehead, cheeks.
(24:18):
I was lucky enough not to scarbecause they were. I was gonna say,
yeah, you're very which I scarred. I've been getting the little treatment
to help get rid of the pinor whatever. A lot of mine were
weren't under the skin nothing. That'swhy I didn't scar. That's nice,
you know what I mean. Alot of it was hormonal down here.
But yeah, anyways, that stupidat me. I could go on a
(24:38):
lot about it. I could,and there's acute. Oh my gosh,
I still in my Aqua four.Yes, I know if you almossessed with
Aqua four yet I call acutane andyou will be. I call myself aquafor
that's not funny, Joe. Yes, because I mean I have it in
my purse, I have it inmy car to it were, yes,
(25:00):
and I mean I have tubs ofit. Do anyone needs something? And
I always offer it. I'm likeproud, like, hey, anyone need
no, please take my anc beforeYou'll really appreciate your promise. But all
of that really did help. Andanother thing I'll say, because people ask
me this a lot actually on socialmedia, how are you so confident?
(25:22):
Have you always been confident? Andyou know I always say no, I
haven't been. I mean to anextent, yes, but no part of
it too. For me, I'mvery fortunate that my mom is as strong
of a woman as she is,because growing up she never we never focused
on looks. It was always yourgrades or your sport or how you treat
others. Your heart. Your heartmakes you pretty and it makes you ugly.
(25:45):
So I'm very fortunate to have hadthat. And then even with boys,
I mean, I have friends tillto this day who send pictures to
guys they are not dating, toguys that they've spoken to maybe on the
phone once or twice, right,and they're just hoping this makes him stay.
Yeah, and my mom, honestly, anytime in a high school guy
(26:07):
ever asked me to send pictures,she'd say, either tell them why see
a picture when you can see itin person? And then I never have
to see one person. Yeah,I was like, mom, ooh say
and then number two just say sorry. I you know, value myself.
I'm more self confidence than that.And I would say that I have done
that more I okay, So Ihave sent pictures before. I think everyone
(26:32):
has at one point or whatever.I'd never I got burned with it one
time because an ex didn't want meto. Yeah, it didn't want me
to break up with him. Sohe that's another thing, Ladies, guys
that you might trust in the moment. Yeah, I trust him with my
life. In the moment, youmight trust them and you might think there
(26:52):
is no harm. You never knowwhat's gonna happen. I'm just saying,
be smart about it, but I'mjust honest with boys now, Like you
don't have to come up with somegrandiose excoose just say no, hey,
I'm not really comfortable doing that.And it's so easy. Truthfully, ladies,
you have to know your worth andyour value. You are so much
(27:12):
more than just your body or whatyou look like or for a guy to
be like, dang, she's hot. You don't need that. You don't
need that validation because you are trulyso much more than that. And yeah,
don't ever because then that also makesyou feel like you're just that to
a guy, yes, and thatdoesn't help your confidence. No. So
(27:33):
that's just another thing that's kind ofjust been on my heart. Is I
get so sad and friends will tryto defend why they did it, and
I'm like, you're twenty three,twenty four years old. You don't know
this guy, and it's not gonnamake him say what it is is.
He's gonna get what he wants andhe's gonna leave. Yeah, it does
the opposite. Yeah, the harderyou play to I mean, I don't
like playing hard to get, butthe harder you play, I mean,
(27:55):
and because the more. And Ihate to like talk like this because like
there's no judgment. No absolutely,that's no, there's no judgment. But
it's genuinely like guys are more drawnto their physical human beings. Yeah,
(28:15):
but like longevity, Oh they're notdrawn. Yeah. Yeah, it's not
gonna that's not gonna want to dateyou. They're not gonnaan to date you.
And I hate that, I know. And like I said, no
judgment, ladies, I mean,it's more like me saying this to protect
you. It's nothing. Yeah,I just hate seeing that with my friends.
Oh my gosh. Yeah. AndI think part of it is because
(28:36):
I now am so firm and whoI am that I mean, it's so
easy for me to say no.And that's that's another thing now, navigating
dating. Because we're very we knowwhat we have to offer our self worth,
Like we are very confident, it'sso much easier to navigate boys,
and if you're not up to thisstandard, it's sorry, no, like
I'm not looking for anything. Ohno, not tonight it's so easy to
(29:00):
say no when you are confident andyeah, you you have the power,
you know, you really do.I think women don't realize that. Women
do not realize how powerful you trulyare, especially especially especially if you're confident
and you will tell it straight.I mean, and I hate to say
it, but they love it.Oh, and they do. And then
(29:21):
you do have all the the ballis totally in your care and it's and
you don't know you have the poweruntil when you get it you're like,
oh wait, this is fun.Yeah. And then navigating date and I
promise you, ladies, I mean, it has been confident so much easier.
Yeah, so yeah, confidence.I I don't know. I think
I'm so passionate about this because Isee so many women who aren't and I
(29:44):
just want to give an ounce ofmine. Yeah no, really, I
would. I would give all ofmine away. There's someone else, yes,
truly, because it's such a freeing, just complete feeling. I think,
yes, and your anxiety, like, my anxiety has been so much
better because the things I to beanxious about we're things that were killing my
confidence. Yeah. So I justif any of this helped, oh my
(30:06):
goodness, even just one person thatwould make my entire year. YEA,
honestly, just remember it's not thatdeep. Yeah, it's really not.
People love you for you, yes, and write down things you love about
yourself. That's one thing I startedrealizing, or what are the qualities about
me that I love? And Iwant someone else to acknowledge these things about
me. And once you kind ofstart looking at it that way too.
(30:30):
If a guy doesn't appreciate your heartor how smart you are or how driven
you are, it's not a guyyou want. You want them to see
those qualities that you love about yourself, definitely, So keep discovering yourself.
Learn to be confident in your ownskin, because I promise you it is
a life changer. Yes, andjust know we are here for you always.
(30:51):
Oh my gosh, I would lovea DM please, Oh my gosh,
I would love for y'all to DMsay hey cam blah blah blah blah
blah, this has happened, thisboy did this, and I would love
that would actually make my world.Yes, please, do I want to
talk to you? We will answerall of them, I promise. So.
We love y'all and keep being thatawesome woman that you are definitely at
(31:11):
a girl. You're doing great,keep it up. Bye y'all, Bye,
What's up, y'all. Welcome backto Atgirl podcast. I'm Cam and I'm
Riley, and we're so excited tobe back with you guys. Lots have
been happening. Oh yeah, livinglife, enjoying life. But what's going
on? I got pulled over thismorning, Tipiti. That's the worst fun
fact. Knock on wood. Ohmy gosh, this stresses me out.
(00:20):
But I've actually only ever gotten pulledover one time, and it was because
my tag light was out. Gethome, Dad checks it. It wasn't
out in the world, right,They're just trying to bother you. I
was like, like, I meancrying, crying. I've gotten pulled over
(00:40):
lots of time, so I've beenlucky. I've never got a ticket.
Uh I did once, But anyway, well, see, the nice thing
is since my jeep is a fivespeed, like there's a max top speed.
Sure sure, not really speed init, so that's kinda saved me.
Oh well. Over the weekend,I was hanging out with my family
and I was trying to find adropbox, cocader, my username and all
(01:00):
that stuff. So I'm going throughmy notes because I'm like, I know
I have this dropbox somewhere and Istumbled across a text that I sent my
ex when I was in high school. Okay, so I used to always
draft my text and my notes.Me too, I've done it, Yeah,
reread to make sure it's good beforeyou send it to your friends.
You're a proof read, yes,And I mean it made me so sad
(01:21):
because I sit here and know whoI am today, but I forget the
person I was in high school.Yeah, or even a few years ago.
How far you have come since?So I'm only going to read parts
of it. But I texted andI said, I'm struggling so bad right
now, Babe. I feel likeI was on such a high and now
(01:42):
I'm at such a low. Ithought I would be going on a cruiser
spring break, but then it didn'tget invited. Though I was going to
the beach with Julia and she's goingwith Keegan. I thought I could run
track and rush, but I can't. I was so pumped Mercedes, but
I didn't feel pretty at all thatnight, especially after seeing a girl who
used to have a thing with Itmade me at you because I wouldn't have
felt that way if you hadn't donewhat you did with her. You also
(02:05):
didn't slow dance with me, AndI looked over and she was slow dancing
with her boyfriend. And that's kindof all I wanted from you. Blah
blah blah blah blah. Then Isaid that I feel like I'm not going
to vault in college. I've failedmy younger self. I won't be reaching
my goals. There's so much pressureright now. I don't know what to
do. I don't know how tohave fun anymore with anything in life.
(02:27):
I keep looking too far ahead andI don't live in the present. I
hate my body right now. Ifeel like I don't know how I want
to look, and no matter what, I won't ever be satisfied. I
feel too fat. Then I feelskinny. I lost my butt and I've
never had boobs. I have noself confidence. I feel like everything's gone
downhill. I don't feel pretty anymore. I have no friends, I only
get to see you twice a week. I feel like I'm not in a
(02:49):
happy place right now, and Idon't know what to do. Life just
kind of sucks. Riley No,but seriously, that is so common.
I probably have said a text identicalto that. I just was like,
oh, my gosh, because growingup and one thing I talked to my
parents about because I shared that messageof them, and they were like,
Riley, we had no idea,right, And that was senior year of
(03:10):
high school. Yeah, And Iwas like, honestly, I guess I
didn't know either because I was goingthrough it. But I didn't really know
what I was going through, right, Yeah. And then for them,
they were like, we always thoughtyou were super confident. You know where
did we fail as parents? AndI thought to myself, I've always been
confident growing up a gymnast. Iwas powerful, I was strong, I
(03:34):
was an athlete. I was reallygood at what I was doing. I
was seeing success. So where Ihad a lot of confidence in that area
of my life, Yes, Ithink because also I had quit dranastics,
So this is a turning point whereI had quit and I was pull vaulting.
So I think I just didn't knowwho I was. I had an
identity crisis. But I mean Iremember having no confidence. I remember getting
(04:00):
I'm so mad at him because hewasn't complimenting me enough. I was looking
for reassurance and confidence from him.Yeah, validation, validation, yeah,
and somebody else it's so common.I've been through that a thousand times,
and I think I think I wentthrough that until senior year of college.
(04:21):
Yeah. I think a lot ofwomen associate confidence strictly with looks. Yes,
and once you literally, I mean, once you realize and break past
that thought, the whole world opensup for you in comparison. Yes,
yes, because I think that's whatI was doing so much in high school.
(04:45):
And then I got to college anddating wasn't bad until that two and
a half year period were we bothyeah right, and our confidence plummeted even
more right, Yeah, And wewere constantly trying to be a n yeah
for this person. And while duringall of it, it sucked because I
(05:06):
compared myself to every single girl hefollowed, oh my gosh, comments he
was commenting on girls pages, yep. And I mean even when he was
liking I was one of those crazygirls, I did the exact same thing,
and then I was like, whylook nothing like her? Oh my
gosh. That was my biggest complaintbecause all of the girls, all of
the girls that he would like,follow, you know whatever, talk to.
(05:30):
Yeah, Unfortunately, they were allvery like edgy stranger, you know
what. I mean that was actuallythe same for me. Yes, they
were completely tattered, like black hairedgy. Stop wait, this is seriously
actually we've never talked about this before. That's crazy because saying I'm not kidding
black hair covered in tats, lipfiller, likes crazy boob job. Yeah
(05:56):
yeah, same here. And it'snot like they were pretty. Yeah,
I'm not taking away from those girls, but not at what we look like.
Completely had That had me completely mindboggled because I was like, how
do you tell me you love meand want me and think I'm beautiful and
all this stuff when this is whatyou that's what you like? Yeah obviously
(06:17):
literally like you lilyally like it.Yeah, that's what you're going for,
is what I felt like. SoI also had that same mind It a
crisis, yes, and so thatI mean, and that happens when it
happens over and over again and thenyou bring it up and then it's you
have an insecurity Oh it's your problem. No, you need to be more
secure with yourself. Yeah, howam I supposed to be more secure with
(06:40):
myself when you were not helping thesituation. I'm trying, but you're making
it really bad. Yeah. Yeah, So it was going through all of
that that sucked in the moment,but then when we got on the other
side of it, Yeah, wespent all that time proving who we were
to ourselves. Yes, that's sucha good point. And I don't think
that I've even thought that far.Like I thought, I just like made
(07:02):
it to the other side and I'mlike, oooh, that was stuff.
I did it though. It's becausethis whole time we've been putting in work
for someone else, and on theother side of it, it was just
us that got to appreciate it.Yeah, and learn what we love about
ourselves. What And I've gotten tothe point and I stay, I stick
to this and I mean it whenI say this. I don't get offended
(07:26):
or upset when a guy turns medown. It's now like disappointed that they
don't see what I have to offer. Yeah, I feel the same way
I've been just recently. Even Iliked this boy so much truly, and
I like and I'm the type ofperson like, if I have a crush
on you, like I have tomake sure this might sound psycho, I
(07:47):
have to make sure every aspect ofyou will fit into my life. Yes,
and he did like, well,the version of him in my head,
who knows, really you never know. But the version of him that
I saw, I don't know.I don't think I know you do.
But truck driver okay, okay,yes, yes driver man he first,
(08:07):
Yeah, we have first boy witha nickname. He just doesn't like me.
He just doesn't like I put inso much effort and it's fine.
Like I had to really look atmyself and be like, dude, shut
up, like you're good. Yes, who cares? Like I would?
I keep snapchatting him and be like, hey, wait can I see you
(08:28):
next? Blah blah blah like whatever, and I just keep getting like wishy
washy answers or either just rejected andif he would just like if she wanted
to, she would. It goesboth ways. Yeah, so anyway,
Yeah, you can't. You can'tlook at it like you're getting rejected.
No, And it doesn't do anythingto my confidence when a guy isn't interested
in me, no, because forme it was it was uh the guy
(08:52):
who ended up ghosting me, right, I guess we can call him race
car driver there you go, ordrag racer. He's a drag racer.
There was a drag racer man.I really liked him, and I've been
so against wanting to be in arelationship me too. And then we were
(09:13):
seeing each other off and on andit was great and I really liked him.
And then he just started ghosting meand then flat out ghosted me,
and I honestly thought I was goingto be devastated. I was like,
oh, no, the day ishere? What? And I was fine
because I also was thinking to myself, if he can't acknowledge what I have
to offer, that's on him.Yeah, that's not on me. And
also like I've had to really takean unselfish look at it too, like
(09:37):
I am so in my head andI'm like, no, but I have
this, this and this, andI can do this, and I would
do this whatever. They might haveso much going on that I don't fit
with them. They might be theymight be putting myself in their world and
realizing that there's qualities about me thatwouldn't fit. Right, That's fine,
that's okay, It's so normal.Yes, And I get so worked up
(09:58):
in selfish truly, Yeah, weall do. And it does it in
the past. Now that I'm onthe other side, I'm grateful, But
in the past it would get meto that point of feeling like, oh
no, I'm just not good enough, like they don't like me because of
this about me and this about me. No, And then you know,
it also gets exhausting constantly proving yourself. I mean I would come home and
(10:22):
talk about my grades to prove Ipromise I'm smart. Yeah, I would
talk about practice, and I'd wantto compete so well to be like,
you can be proud of me.I'm athletic. Yeah. I would try
to cook and clean and do laundryand take care of him to show him,
no, I can, I can, you know, take care of
you. And I was trying totake place as his mom and that is
not my role as a girlfriend.You were giving wife wife qualities to a
(10:46):
boyfriend. Yes, and we've allbeen there. Yes, I've done that
oh so many times. But trulynow it was the biggest blessing. And
another thing I've found is during allof that, I created a Pinterest board
called amen to that Okay, andit's a bunch of you know, uplifting.
(11:09):
Eventually you will meet a man who'stired of Games two, and his
loyalty will match yours perfect, lotsof different things, and then are at
a girl pinterest in spo. Onething I love is talking about yourself.
Choose a good heart, not agood face. That's what you're looking for
and yourself. And then also,you are only as pretty as you treat
(11:31):
people. Yes, and so thenyour mind starts shifting from comparing yourself to
how all these girls look, topersonality to personality. Once I realized that
I there's so many times and I'mnot like gassing myself well you know what,
not in a cocky way. Butonce I realized that I am a
(11:56):
lot of the time the funnest inthe room, absolutely, like truly,
and I don't give a crap,Like, no, I will look stupid
in front of the president. Thatcan embarrass yourself, exactly, It does
not bother me. You might besnickering in a corner like, oh my
god, what's that girl doing.I'm having a blast. What are you
doing? It encourages me to keepgoing like, oh you want to look
(12:16):
and make fun watch this? Yeah, I'm gonna do the split. I
keep watching it back right now?Can you not be able to take your
eyes off me? No? Really, I just once you realize that the
personality is what matters, and that'swhere you should be pulling confidence from.
You're truly unstoppable. Well and becauseif you think about it, looks might
get a guy, but what keepsa guy Exactly? Yeah, I don't
(12:39):
even want to talk about him becausehe probably just fed me all this lives.
But my ex he did say thatin a worse conversation. Okay,
so he had slept with someone elsewhile dating me. Oh sweet, so
nice. That's kind. But honestly, he said something that didn't help his
(13:01):
case but helped me. He saidhe was like, no, like I
mean she was hot or whatever,like what, but like she had no
personality like you, I can havefun with you, and like you're hot
on top of that. But okay, let's let's pretend that that didn't hurt
my feelings at the time. Whosays that it's just it, But it's
(13:26):
the point, like she may havecaught his eye and he ran with it
unfortunately, but he's still And thisis not praising a cheater. Absolutely,
if you're ever in this situation,do not take what I'm saying and be
like Cam said, at least hedid this so I can stay with him,
don't know, don't be like me, but don't be like Cam please
(13:48):
God please, it's true though,like he's stuck around for my personality.
Thanks babe. Yeah, that's right, but it's I mean, that's just
that's what That's what keeps a guy, I guess. And I also think
it's a maturity to maturity thing withguys is at a young age, they
are looking for what looks good,and we look amazing. I'm not down
(14:09):
on as I'm saying we don't lookgood. All we've got is I'm not
saying that. But all we focuson right now is personality. But a
guy, I mean, they're lookingfor the biggest boobs in the room,
the right blonde hair. I don'tknow what actually they're looking for, but
that's what they're looking for right when, especially right when you get to college.
And then once guys kind of realize, oh I need a wife one
(14:31):
day, What qualities do I wantin a wife? Yeah? And so
girls, even if you're a freshmanor sophomore or just in college, you
just got there and you feel,oh my goodness, I have to sacrifice
this about myself just to get hisattention, or if I just send that
one picture, maybe he'll like memore. No. No, it's worth
the weight to discover and find yourselfand find your confidence and be true to
(14:54):
yourself, because the right guy isgonna come around, even if it's later
on, and you're even just yourreputation and the type of person you are.
I at the bar, I workin Rhythm Rhythm BRS and Tessalusa,
our door guy. He's so funnybecause he'll always be like, Ole,
you're just so pretty. I'm like, I thank you, that's so nice.
But I know there's ten fifteen otherwomen in here that are pretty.
(15:16):
Yeah, and he goes, yeah, but I would put all my money
on you if a guy had tohave a sixty second conversation. Oh yeah,
exactly, Its exactly. But I'mproud of that. I'm not comparing
myself to all these other pretty menanymore. And I don't go to a
bar to find a man or forthe attention. I go to have a
good time. I think that's whata lot of guys can't understand, because
(15:39):
sorry, boys, a lot ofguys are going to bars to fund women.
Yes, absolutely their main goal forthe night. Yes, women are
there to dance genuinely. Yeah,just dance and have fun with their girlfriends
the time, even sometimes have funwith guys like but not go home,
not not anything more than that.It's a fun night. Yeah, but
(16:00):
you as a female, you don'thave fun when you're constantly looking around like,
well, do you see what she'swearing? Oh, do you see
her hair? Do you see Andhere's one thing too, I'm gonna say,
confident women don't talk crap about otherwomen. Yeah, because I can't
remember the last time I just satthere and picked a party girl. No
anymore. I mean when I wasin that relationship, every girl that I
(16:21):
was jealous so I hated that.I mean, I would say she's ugly,
and that is I mean, Ilook back and I'm like, I
can't believe I was so hateful toso many women that didn't anything to me.
Yeah, and they weren't ugly.They weren't. No, they weren't.
Unfortunately I wish they were, butthey weren't. Too. I wish
there was like something actually where Iwas like, yeah, but really there
wasn't. It sucks, but dumbit It's just so true that what makes
(16:47):
you pretty is not what's on theoutside. It might be a first glance
or even when I meet a guy, Yes, he as long as he's
someone I'm attracted to, I'm goingto talk to him. But your personality
makes it or breaks it right,it makes you ten times more attractive.
I mean, do I have hadso many people tell me like, I
mean, yeah, like you're apretty girl. But once I got to
(17:08):
know you, Yes, every time. I mean, just like clockwork,
I just know the conversation that's aboutto happen. Do you know how many
times I've gotten pulled into like asolo dolu conversation, Like I just I
just had to get you alone tolike really just get to know you better.
Yeah, I just had to getyou alone because I mean, the
way I feel is insane to me, and I've never felt this way so
(17:32):
quickly. You have like this magic. Yeah, like you just draw people
in. Yes, and then peoplefeel like they can tell you every year
even yes, Yeah, Oh mygosh. I just want y'all to know
if you think that there's a secretabout anyone, I probably know it because
they told me. Yes. Idon't know why. I don't know why,
but I love it. I'm gladthat people feel like they can talk
(17:52):
to me, but I know everyone'ssecrets. I'm sEH and like genuine and
so unjudgment non judgmental. Yes,I could not give it. You could
tell me. You could genuinely tellme, like hey, like I had
a bad night. I murdered mybest friend's husband whoops. And I'd be
like, oh, it's okay,Like what are you gonna do next?
It happens. We all get frustratedat times. I mean, yeah,
(18:17):
I get it, don't even worryabout it. But I mean not literally
I do. I'll give you atalking to if you're really messing up.
But like Kelsea Valerini's if you godown, I'm going down to No.
Literally that's how I am. Butthe person like even even this job I
just got, yes, I interviewed, did I genuinely have every qualification they
(18:41):
were looking for? They've told mestraight up no, right, But of
all the other people that interviewed whohad it on paper, they said,
like my big big boss, Yeah, he was like you just I don't
know. You stuck with us.Yes, Like after I interviewed, I
got a call. He was like, yeah, we'll call you in like
a few days. I got tocall an hour later like yeah, you
(19:03):
got the job. I'm like,oh, perfect, amazing. I needed
that. But really it's it's allabout because I didn't go in there completely
confident in the jobs, right.No. Confidence comes from a lot of
places and you apply it everywhere.It's not just boys, it's not just
you know what I but I wasconfident that I was going to have at
least a good conversation. Yes,absolutely, because and part of it too
(19:26):
is when finding confidence, you learnhow to be comfortable in your own skin.
Yes, so it is so mucheasier to talk to people and even
network or job interviews or meet peopleout at a bar. When you're comfortable
in your own skin, having thoseconversations isn't scary. And I think too,
I've always had at least one friendthat I was good bouncing off of
(19:49):
because and I think it's because findinggood women to surround yourself or men whatever
to surround yourself with, there's nocompetition between the two, so the bouncing
off is genuine, like it's you'renot you don't feel like you're competing and
like over outdoing each other. Thatis such a true statement. Yeah,
I think when you can feel genuinelyconfident in your own skin and you're not
(20:12):
competing with your girlfriends. And becauseI've been there too, Like it's a
horrible feeling. You find good peopleto surround yourself with. You love yourself,
yeah, you love everyone around you. Yeah, you're good. It's
just good vibes. Yeah, offof good vibes, off of good vibes.
Like that's honestly, your energy justcarries and it's being matched and yeah,
(20:33):
it's that's one of the best feelingsis when you finally find that group
of girls or guys that make youand they allow you to be yourself and
you have no inclination that they're talkingbad about your behind your back, and
no, like I do not thecurrent friends that I have, Like,
I mean, I understand maybe rantingabout a friend like that's normal times,
yes, so normal, but likejust dogging me behind my back over nonsense,
(20:59):
I don't have that. I thankgod. I mean, it took
time to get there, and Ithink that also is part of confidence growth,
because I mean, it's hard whenyou're already not confident, then you
find out friends are talking bad aboutyou, and then you're dealing with relationships.
It is hard navigating life and findingyour confidence and finding yourself. But
(21:19):
it's like you finally get to thispoint. And I'm sure it happened sooner
for others and later for others,because for us it kind of happened through
our relationships. And then also Ithink for me, I also found friends
that stuck with me through all ofthat, and friends who just resented me
for staying as long as I did. Yes, they didn't get it.
So you just kind of really navigateso much in life, and then you
(21:42):
get to this point where now I'msurrounded by so many positive females and girls
that aren't jealous, but they liftyou up and it's a good time when
you go and do things with them. And then you're confident in yourself even
when you are approached by people atours or at the grocery store or wherever,
the gym, And a lot ofit comes from genuinely just not caring.
(22:04):
Oh you know what I mean.And it's so funny, you know,
it's so funny. You hear thatall the time growing up, and
it's as soon as you can learnand not care, and you like obviously
like, oh I don't care,but you do. Oh my gosh,
you care so much. Once youdon't care, You're like, oh wait,
I used to actually care, youknow, I actually don't care.
Once you genuinely don't care. Ohmy gosh, you feel so free.
(22:25):
I mean it's freeing. You don'tstress about what you're wearing. No,
and I in the dress not greatexactly. Yeah, as long as I
look appropriate for the function, Ido not care. But I will admit,
like, I mean, there arethere have been times and even like
recent like I've wanted or I haveedited a picture like oh it's kind of
(22:47):
looks funny or whatever. But like, and I've been lucky enough throughout my
life to not let body, image, confidence, whatever hold me back.
And I think a lot of girlsdo that. It's so normal. Like
I've had friends in the past thatwould skip high school because they had like
a big pimple on their forehead.Yeah, they would skip a three days.
(23:08):
I also both went through and Ifact it was acutane. I'm really
glad that I didn't need to becauseactually having so much acne at all times,
yes, like just it didn't matter. Makeup didn't help a thing.
I think that actually helped my confidencein a very strange way because it yes,
you did not care what you lookedlike because you couldn't control that.
(23:30):
Yeah, it was. It wasso it was just unmanageable. You couldn't
cover it. It hurt, ithurt, it was. It was horrible
for me with workouts. I mean, my face would gets the red and
they'd get even more red and sweaty, and I can't wear makeup two workouts.
I mean, I just had tobe like, here I am.
You guys, what I look like? You just love me for me?
Yeah, But I mean it wasactually beautiful at the end of it.
(23:52):
Like once I got rid of it, you know, I realized, like,
oh my god, that was reallyActually that helped me because if you
can go out and about without makeupbombing like that. I mean, and
when I say my acne was badpizza face, well people when I show
pictures because people don't believe it,and I show a picture too, Yet
it was all here and mine wasmy entire face, forehead, cheeks.
(24:18):
I was lucky enough not to scarbecause they were. I was gonna say,
yeah, you're very which I scarred. I've been getting the little treatment
to help get rid of the pinor whatever. A lot of mine were
weren't under the skin nothing. That'swhy I didn't scar. That's nice,
you know what I mean. Alot of it was hormonal down here.
But yeah, anyways, that stupidat me. I could go on a
(24:38):
lot about it. I could,and there's acute. Oh my gosh,
I still in my Aqua four.Yes, I know if you almossessed with
Aqua four yet I call acutane andyou will be. I call myself aquafor
that's not funny, Joe. Yes, because I mean I have it in
my purse, I have it inmy car to it were, yes,
(25:00):
and I mean I have tubs ofit. Do anyone needs something? And
I always offer it. I'm likeproud, like, hey, anyone need
no, please take my anc beforeYou'll really appreciate your promise. But all
of that really did help. Andanother thing I'll say, because people ask
me this a lot actually on socialmedia, how are you so confident?
(25:22):
Have you always been confident? Andyou know I always say no, I
haven't been. I mean to anextent, yes, but no part of
it too. For me, I'mvery fortunate that my mom is as strong
of a woman as she is,because growing up she never we never focused
on looks. It was always yourgrades or your sport or how you treat
others. Your heart. Your heartmakes you pretty and it makes you ugly.
(25:45):
So I'm very fortunate to have hadthat. And then even with boys,
I mean, I have friends tillto this day who send pictures to
guys they are not dating, toguys that they've spoken to maybe on the
phone once or twice, right,and they're just hoping this makes him stay.
Yeah, and my mom, honestly, anytime in a high school guy
(26:07):
ever asked me to send pictures,she'd say, either tell them why see
a picture when you can see itin person? And then I never have
to see one person. Yeah,I was like, mom, ooh say
and then number two just say sorry. I you know, value myself.
I'm more self confidence than that.And I would say that I have done
that more I okay, So Ihave sent pictures before. I think everyone
(26:32):
has at one point or whatever.I'd never I got burned with it one
time because an ex didn't want meto. Yeah, it didn't want me
to break up with him. Sohe that's another thing, Ladies, guys
that you might trust in the moment. Yeah, I trust him with my
life. In the moment, youmight trust them and you might think there
(26:52):
is no harm. You never knowwhat's gonna happen. I'm just saying,
be smart about it, but I'mjust honest with boys now, Like you
don't have to come up with somegrandiose excoose just say no, hey,
I'm not really comfortable doing that.And it's so easy. Truthfully, ladies,
you have to know your worth andyour value. You are so much
(27:12):
more than just your body or whatyou look like or for a guy to
be like, dang, she's hot. You don't need that. You don't
need that validation because you are trulyso much more than that. And yeah,
don't ever because then that also makesyou feel like you're just that to
a guy, yes, and thatdoesn't help your confidence. No. So
(27:33):
that's just another thing that's kind ofjust been on my heart. Is I
get so sad and friends will tryto defend why they did it, and
I'm like, you're twenty three,twenty four years old. You don't know
this guy, and it's not gonnamake him say what it is is.
He's gonna get what he wants andhe's gonna leave. Yeah, it does
the opposite. Yeah, the harderyou play to I mean, I don't
like playing hard to get, butthe harder you play, I mean,
(27:55):
and because the more. And Ihate to like talk like this because like
there's no judgment. No absolutely,that's no, there's no judgment. But
it's genuinely like guys are more drawnto their physical human beings. Yeah,
(28:15):
but like longevity, Oh they're notdrawn. Yeah. Yeah, it's not
gonna that's not gonna want to dateyou. They're not gonnaan to date you.
And I hate that, I know. And like I said, no
judgment, ladies, I mean,it's more like me saying this to protect
you. It's nothing. Yeah,I just hate seeing that with my friends.
Oh my gosh. Yeah. AndI think part of it is because
(28:36):
I now am so firm and whoI am that I mean, it's so
easy for me to say no.And that's that's another thing now, navigating
dating. Because we're very we knowwhat we have to offer our self worth,
Like we are very confident, it'sso much easier to navigate boys,
and if you're not up to thisstandard, it's sorry, no, like
I'm not looking for anything. Ohno, not tonight it's so easy to
(29:00):
say no when you are confident andyeah, you you have the power,
you know, you really do.I think women don't realize that. Women
do not realize how powerful you trulyare, especially especially especially if you're confident
and you will tell it straight.I mean, and I hate to say
it, but they love it.Oh, and they do. And then
(29:21):
you do have all the the ballis totally in your care and it's and
you don't know you have the poweruntil when you get it you're like,
oh wait, this is fun.Yeah. And then navigating date and I
promise you, ladies, I mean, it has been confident so much easier.
Yeah, so yeah, confidence.I I don't know. I think
I'm so passionate about this because Isee so many women who aren't and I
(29:44):
just want to give an ounce ofmine. Yeah no, really, I
would. I would give all ofmine away. There's someone else, yes,
truly, because it's such a freeing, just complete feeling. I think,
yes, and your anxiety, like, my anxiety has been so much
better because the things I to beanxious about we're things that were killing my
confidence. Yeah. So I justif any of this helped, oh my
(30:06):
goodness, even just one person thatwould make my entire year. YEA,
honestly, just remember it's not thatdeep. Yeah, it's really not.
People love you for you, yes, and write down things you love about
yourself. That's one thing I startedrealizing, or what are the qualities about
me that I love? And Iwant someone else to acknowledge these things about
me. And once you kind ofstart looking at it that way too.
(30:30):
If a guy doesn't appreciate your heartor how smart you are or how driven
you are, it's not a guyyou want. You want them to see
those qualities that you love about yourself, definitely, So keep discovering yourself.
Learn to be confident in your ownskin, because I promise you it is
a life changer. Yes, andjust know we are here for you always.
(30:51):
Oh my gosh, I would lovea DM please, Oh my gosh,
I would love for y'all to DMsay hey cam blah blah blah blah
blah, this has happened, thisboy did this, and I would love
that would actually make my world.Yes, please, do I want to
talk to you? We will answerall of them, I promise. So.
We love y'all and keep being thatawesome woman that you are definitely at
(31:11):
a girl. You're doing great,keep it up. Bye y'all, Bye,
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