Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:13):
Welcome back to
Brunch with Brittany another
episode of a Girl's Girl podcast.
Get your drink ready, becausewe have a lot to discuss today,
okay, so if you haven't heard orseen Big Sean's comments about
Jhene Aiko and theirrelationship, have a seat.
We got a lot to get into.
(00:33):
If you haven't seen it, we'regoing to get into what he said
about his relationship withJhene Aiko.
And, mind you, these two havebeen seeing each other on and
off, but ultimately togethersince 2016.
Ok, fast forward to now.
That makes eight years.
This is almost 10 years thatthey've been together.
(00:53):
Ok, keep that in mind as we gointo this.
So Big Sean does an interviewand they ask him like, ok, did
you secretly get married toJhene Aiko or, you know, do you
have plans to?
So Big Sean goes on to explainthat, first of all, the answer
was no, there's no secretmarriage.
That happened between the two,okay.
(01:15):
And then he goes on to explainwhy he's not married to her yet.
And we're going to listen tothe audio because I want to pick
it apart as he's saying it soyou can really understand what I
think he's saying behind, whathe was saying to the camera and
all of that.
So we'll get into it.
All right, I'm going to go tothe video, but I was just like I
(01:39):
just saw so many red flags inwhat he was saying about why,
the reasons why it hasn'thappened yet.
So this is him.
Right after he's been asked ifthey are secretly married, let's
start no, no, there has notbeen a secret industry marriage.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Um, I think that it's
a.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
It's a little
personal you can tell that he's
like trying to find, say, theright way so that he doesn't
offend janae, but um, it did notwork, let's go I mean, but just
like to be real with you, justlike any people who whenever
someone says, just to be realwith you, I always feel like
you're giving yourself some time, but go on have dealt with love
(02:23):
.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
We've had our ups and
downs.
Every relationship has that andI think it's still finding the
right navigation through it all.
Um, I don't know if, like, ifto me, marriage symbolizes like
the best relationship, you knowpeople would be like oh, you got
(02:43):
to get married.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Okay, right there.
So he's already saying thatmarriage symbolizes the best
relationship.
And I think if you talk toanybody and you really think
about it like no, anyone that'smarried, it's not like it's your
.
You finally come to thisperfect space together and it's
like now we'll be married andnow we're good, and now you know
we won't have any problems,nothing to work on, we're done
working on stuff.
I don't think any marriedcouple has ever said that.
In fact, the work continues.
But go on, sean.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
To me.
I feel like having arelationship is first and
foremost, and like marriage is abyproduct of that.
I feel like a lot of people getthe idea of like, oh, you have
to get married, but then it'slike to me that's almost a
fear-based way of thinking too,because then people be getting
divorced.
The divorce rate is so fuckinghigh.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
So he starts talking
about divorce and the divorce
rate being super high, which youknow, if you've always heard.
The statistics are like thatyou have a 50% chance of divorce
when you get married, right, ifyou look at it like that.
But you bring it to your ownrelationship, you're already
just kind of using it.
To me, that's an excuse, likewell, divorce rate's so high, so
you know I'm not going to getmarried, I'm not going to be a
(03:55):
part of that.
Meanwhile, your relationshipcould be something completely
different and never lead todivorce, and you wouldn't know
just because you decided lead todivorce.
And you wouldn't know justbecause you decided, like it's
probably not gonna work.
We'll go by the stats on thisone.
By the way, sacrifice herdreams, right, if she does want
to get married.
No, I don't want to take achance of us divorcing.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Let's not put it on
paper, but okay I'm someone who
I'm not like discountinganything, and I'm not saying
that we aren't gonna get married, but what I'm saying is is that
it's so he's saying that theyhe just said like, oh, I'm not
saying we'll never get married,right?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
So then that leaves a
question mark for Jhené when?
So then, when are you going tofeel good about it?
Because he already said, wehave work to put in right.
How much more work.
It's been eight years.
You're coming up on a decade,and if you don't know about
Jhene Aiko, you know that shewants to be married, she wants
to be a wife, okay, she wants tohave the family and all of that
(04:49):
right.
So already this is somethingthat she wants, it's something
that she dreamed of, okay, avision for herself.
And he's already like justholding it, holding it kind of
like you know it's in the airfor her.
It's possible, it might happen.
I've thought about it, but youknow not yet.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Not yet.
I would like to do a lot.
I would like to, and I don'tlike putting our personal
business out there like thateither, but there's a lot of
work that needs to be done.
I feel like, in general, we'reso many, we have so many
relationships.
It's like being in peers, beingin a group together, parents,
(05:38):
romantic okay, right there,they've already.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
They've worked
together.
They've worked together.
They've made money together.
Okay, they made a childtogether.
We should have started there.
They have a child together.
Which so confuses me when menwill say, uh, you know, I'm not
ready for that commitment of amarriage or it could go wrong,
but you'll have a whole babywith a partner and that's not
(06:01):
commitment.
That doesn't seal it for you.
That, like, this is the one,this is who you should be with.
And again, mistakes happen.
Okay, that that's a wholenother story.
But in their case specifically,I don't know if the baby was a
mistake, but they welcomed it,you know, with like love, and
they were really happy about it.
And they did keep it a secretfor a long time.
But, you know, it seems like itwas something that they both
(06:22):
agreed on and they both decidedto to carry on with this so they
can have a whole baby with her,start a family with her.
But he's not convinced yet thatshe is worthy enough to be
married to him, and I do sayworthy because he's deciding it
for her right.
He's like, she's ready.
I'm sure Jhené is ready.
(06:50):
Okay, like, this is somethingthat she's always wanted, right,
and especially with Big Sean,do you not remember?
She had his whole face tattedon her arm, a portrait style of
Big Sean on her arm, like ifthat doesn't tell you that
someone is like you are myforever person.
You know not that I recommendthat.
I would never do that.
I don't think that that's howyou have to prove it, but just
to show you that that's how muchthis girl is devoted to you.
To be like.
I will have your face on my armand everywhere I go some men
(07:12):
will see it Right, and no manshould want to mess with a girl
who's got a whole other man'sface on her body.
Ok, something's wrong with youif you do that, because clearly
she is, you know she's, she'sgot someone, but okay, again,
he's like we've made a familytogether.
Still not.
Still can't put a ring on it,though.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
You know, it's like
it's a crazy.
It's a crazy connection because, no matter what, we're always
going to be tied together, nomatter what.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
See right there.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
No matter what?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
we'll always be tied
together and I'm thinking he's
talking about the baby there,because they had the baby.
They'll always be tied together.
So if that's the case, then whyare you so hesitant to give her
the ring?
No matter what right, you gotstuff to work on.
Well, isn't that worth workingon?
You've already started thefamily.
Do put it on paper, you know,go forward, you'll work out.
Why wouldn't you work out?
(08:01):
Right, you love her, she lovesyou.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
I mean okay, but all
right, big sean, go on I think
that that doesn't discount that,like she and me both have to be
on the same page, not to say wearen't, but I feel, like I I I
can only speak for myself yes,that there needs to be like more
work done so we can keep going,because there's a lot of focus
(08:29):
on our family, there's a lot offocus on careers and everything.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
That is something
that I feel like has not been
the main focus.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
I didn't understand
what he said there.
I'm just figuring it out.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Oh now, look at you,
charlotte, I'm just figuring it
out.
Oh now, look at you, charlotte,I'm just asking a question.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
So he asked him if he
was like oh so y'all must not
really be together right now andthat's why you're talking like
this.
And then he tries to say likeno, you're picking something
else up.
So who knows, if there'ssomething like maybe they're not
really fully together, but Idon't think so.
I really do think.
I mean, she's doing music,she's on tour, right, he's been
on stage with her recently, likethey're definitely together.
(09:09):
But it's this idea that BigSean is holding this ring from
her and don't, I am never.
I don't believe that you shouldjust get married because, like
you're in that relationship,you've been together long enough
.
Like, get married, no,absolutely not.
That's not what I'm saying.
If you are not ready for that,if you don't feel comfortable
with that, I get it.
But if you are, if you're thewoman in this type of
(09:29):
relationship where you've beentogether for years, you know
over six, seven, eight, comingup on a decade, and that man
still hasn't given you a ring.
And there's always otherreasons, right?
Oh, I don't have, I don't havethe funds to get you the ring
that I want, or, you know, Iwant to make more money before
we do that, or whatever.
There's reasons that they giveyou, but it's something that you
really want and you've bothdecided to be partners together.
(09:56):
I think it's a shame if youwaste that time waiting for your
partner to be ready for thatand I think that's what Jhené's
doing, even though they have ababy together.
Like girl, you are wastingthese years waiting for Big Sean
to give you that ring and giveyou that thing that you wanted,
because if that's the visionthat you see for your life, and
especially you've given so manyyears to a partner, you should
expect that ring, because I knowthat there are some girls who
(10:18):
are like, have convincedthemselves well, what's a paper
mean?
And you'll hear men say thistoo the paper means nothing.
What is it putting it on paper?
Girls, there are a lot ofbenefits that come from being
married and having it on paper,and you need to be thinking
about the bigger picture of that, not just because like, oh, if
he put a ring on it, this issomething, it is special, but
(10:39):
that's it.
No, you get benefits from ittoo, and you get more security
from it.
Say he were to walk away fromyou, right, he can leave you
with nothing.
If you're married, you have iton paper.
You'll be left with somethingright.
First of all, you also get taxbenefits.
Okay, you'll you go into onehousehold together if you're not
(10:59):
already doing that, you know.
So your bills go down.
There's just financial benefitsfor you that you need to be
thinking about long-term so thatyou're okay too, while you're
giving this man your life,because studies also show that
men gain more from relationships, let alone from marriage.
When they get into arelationship, they gain a
housekeeper, a chef, a caretakerfor the kids, who's taking the
(11:21):
bulk work of that.
They're gaining a lot, even ifit's not financial money from
you.
They're gaining that from youand you need to be compensated
for that, because you do need tohave something.
Money matters when thatrelationship ends, and you got
to think about that, becauseit's either you know both of you
he leaves with something, youleave with nothing or at least
(11:42):
you both leave with something,right.
I mean, think about that.
So there's benefits, there's somany benefits from that.
And again, not something to justdo for the benefits, but you
put in your time.
You need to be getting thosebenefits from it.
Like, don't, don't get caughtup with that.
And sometimes men too want tohold you back like that, like
maybe you know, eventually I'llgive you a ring and then decide
(12:04):
that you know what?
I don't want to be with you.
And here you go.
You wasted all these yearswaiting for him to be ready.
He no longer wants to be withyou and now you are stuck, not
feeling good about yourself, lowself-esteem.
You know, did you take care ofyourself during the time that
you were with him?
Because now you're going tohave to go back into the dating
scene and you're gonna have tocompete with other women, you
know, who did take care ofthemselves.
(12:24):
These are all things that youneed to be thinking about.
And again, it's not for the endof it, it's just to make sure
that you are good because youare putting into it okay, even
if you're not putting money intoit, which I kind of see.
A lot of women you are andthat's okay, but you need to
make sure that you're safe onthe other side of it.
So when I heard, heard himsaying that I'm like Big Sean,
(12:44):
you because here's the thing.
Oh, the other thing is that Ididn't know this, but Big Sean
proposed to Naya Rivera Rememberhe used to be with her, they
were together.
They don't have any kidstogether, he proposed to her.
So what does that think aboutthat?
He was with a woman, dated herenough, was ready to get married
to her.
No kids together.
(13:05):
But yet here's Jhene Aiko.
She's put in all these yearswith him and he still can't see
it in her.
He still can't see it.
You got to think about thesethings.
When these men give you theseexcuses, when these partners
give you that excuse, it's likethey say, if he wanted to, he
would.
If he wanted to, he would.
He did with Naya Rivera, but hewouldn't do it for Jhené.
(13:26):
And again, naya didn't get atattoo of his whole face on him.
I don't think she did.
I mean, if you get two women toput your face on them like
kudos to you.
But I'm just saying Naya did alot less and she was proposed to
and given a ring.
So you got to think about thosethings.
Um, janae, I don't know shehasn't responded yet, but I bet
you she is so mad right now likeshe is definitely feeling some
(13:49):
cracks in their relationship ifthey weren't already.
She's definitely got toreconsider some things.
But maybe she won't becausethey just had a baby together.
So she's gonna think, oh well,I gotta stay with him, like we
gotta keep this family together.
Okay, you're thinking aboutthat, but is he thinking about
that?
Is he thinking about keepingthat?
Is he thinking about keepingthat family together Because he
won't give you the ring buthe'll give you the baby and
(14:09):
he'll technically probablyalways be there, right, like
he's like we're tied togetherforever.
That doesn't mean that he'stied to you forever in the way
that you want him to be tied toyou.
So I found that so interesting.
And again, the title having thetitle of being a wife and a
husband, it just holds moreweight.
If that's something that youwant, that title does hold more
(14:30):
weight, right?
So versus you go, you've beentogether almost a decade, you're
going around family.
He's got to introduce you ashis girlfriend or his.
You know his wife, but thenthey look down at your hand and
you don't have a ring on it.
Because I've been, um, I'veknown a relationship like that
too, where the woman was like,oh, she would always refer to
him as her husband.
So I always assumed I didn'teven look at her hand, I just
assumed that was her husband.
(14:50):
Later come to find out shewould just call him that because
she was like, no, he hasn't puta ring on it, but eventually he
will.
And you know what happened withthat.
Eventually she got tired of it.
Few years went by and she gavehim an ultimatum.
She, she was like I have kidswith you, I want to do forever
with you.
If you do not give me that ring, I am gone.
And guess what Took about ayear or two later.
(15:12):
But he put a ring on it.
Okay, so, and they're stillhappily married.
You know Whether it was forcedor not, I don't know, but I
think that they are happy.
But she had to say that right,because he was going to be
comfortable with, like, notputting that ring there, with
not making that kind ofcommitment.
And sometimes you do have togive that ultimatum.
(15:33):
It's like this is what I want,and again, it's about your
vision.
If that's really somethingthat's important to you, stand
on that.
Do not waver.
Don't hold off, especially thatmany years of your life,
girlfriend, because you couldhave already been living that
wife life.
If that's, you know, somethingyou saw for yourself and you're
purposely like holding off,hoping that man will see it, and
(15:53):
you're giving him too much ofthe power, like you have so much
more power.
I promise you, and just mostly,it's just to like stick to what
you said.
You know, stand on business,like they say for yourself.
You'll be happier that way,trust me.
Then you won't get embarrassedwhen they ask him why he hasn't
married you and he's like we'restill working on things.
And you're like, what?
(16:14):
Like what do you mean?
We're still working.
We're never going to stopworking on things because you
keep messing up.
I'm projecting here, I'm joking,but yes, I don't know if she's,
she's probably gonna stay withhim again, but, um, yeah, I
think I thought that was sointeresting that Big Sean had
these kind of uh reasons to notget married.
And maybe you know somethinglike have you been through this?
(16:37):
I have never felt like uh,being married.
Okay, thankfully, I've alwaysfelt like the the younger years
are for when you to explore, yougo chase your career, you do
all those things.
But everyone's different, right?
Every woman, some women, that'slike the goal is just to be
married, to have that kid orkids, have the house and you
know the picket fence, andthat's okay too.
(16:57):
Like everyone's vision isdifferent.
I just really want you to standon whatever you saw for yourself
.
Make it happen and on your time, you know, um, because
otherwise you'll get played.
You don't want to get played,especially especially after
giving him a child, which is awhole nother subject that I want
to talk about, because I don'tunderstand how, in 2024 ladies
(17:19):
hear me out why are we givingthese men the babies before the
ring?
I don't get it.
Accidents happen, whatever,whatever.
That's different.
But you are willingly having achild with a man who hasn't put
a ring on it.
That's backwards.
You're giving him a baby Like.
There's so much, it takes somuch off on your body.
You know the time that it takesto heal from that and then you
(17:42):
could go through postpartumdepression.
There's just so many negativesthat come with that pregnancy
other than the.
You know the child is abeautiful thing, but your body
goes through it, your mentalgoes through it and you're going
to do all of that, givesacrifice.
You know that.
And then for what?
For him to maybe, maybe see itin you.
Maybe give you the ring, leaveyou, start a family with someone
(18:03):
else, give her the ring, youknow.
I think that's why, also, if youdo see yourself that that's
your forever partner, hold offon those children.
You will see, because childrenas beautiful, as amazing as they
are, they, you know, there's athere's a lot of costs that come
with that.
If you are wanting to build acareer for yourself, a lot of
women have to put that asidebecause they become, you know,
(18:24):
career for yourself.
A lot of women have to put thataside because they become, you
know the care, the maincaretaker for the kids.
So it's all about doing thingsthe right way.
If you really want to do thislife thing right, and if you
already have kids, don't evenworry about it.
Sweetheart, you're past that.
Like this is what you the cardsyou were dealt do better.
Don't give the next man a childbefore the ring, you know.
So learn from it.
(18:45):
I never feel like something isso permanent that you can't
learn from it and fix it or dobetter the next time.
But I do think that if you arechildless right now, do not give
a man a baby before the ring.
Just don't do it.
Trust me on this one.
Your life will be happier,easier, your goals will be more
likely to be achieved if you doit this way, you know, and then
(19:11):
you don't get stuck to someonethat maybe you thought was the
one for you and then you realizelater like oh God, this guy's
horrible.
Because even then a year is agood amount of time Still need
to know that person more.
Two years is a really goodamount of time to get to know
someone.
I think after five years, ifthat's the person you really see
yourself with, you definitelygot to be like all right, and
maybe some women might even sayfive years is way too long.
Again, it's all about like whatyou?
(19:31):
How bad do you, how quickly didyou want to get married?
You know after you know theperson, of course, responsibly.
Don't just jump in because youknow sorry for the military
wives.
I feel like that's somethingreally common with with the
military.
It's like they encourage you tohurry up and get married.
You know right away and thenyou get benefits from it, right.
(19:52):
So a lot of financial benefitscome from that and I know a lot
of people will get married soyoung.
But you don't know that personreally yet and you haven't even
fully developed into the womanyou're going to become.
So don't, don't do it too soon.
I really feel like you got togive that time.
But what is that time?
What's that year mark for you.
What would you say?
Like, okay, this is the limit.
(20:13):
You know, I've known so manygirls wait, wait, and then they
do see a ring.
But again, this is like 10years in and this is after a lot
of ultimatums, a lot of youknow.
This is it, this is it.
It's now or never.
It's now or never, you know.
And who wants to force the manto do it that way?
Like, if I have to give you anultimatum, did you really even
want me like that, like no, youknow, I think the man should
(20:41):
know and he knows, honey, heknows if he wants to marry you
or not.
That is not a question thatcrosses his mind.
If he's prolonging it, I feellike there's several different
reasons why, but one is hedoesn't see it in you.
Okay, he really doesn't want tomarry you because of whatever
reasons.
So he's holding off, hopingthat maybe that doesn't work out
, he finds someone else, or he'sreally just I don't know.
What is it?
Is it men for you who won'tgive that woman the ring?
(21:03):
What is it?
And don't say it's because youhave stuff to work on, because
if you talk to married couples,they never stop the work, it
never stops.
There's no perfect relationship, right?
So, aside from that, what is itwhy and I'm not saying you know
a new relationship?
Of course, take your time, butonce you've decided, like you,
(21:26):
really this is the person thatyou're in love with, why not put
that ring on it?
And um, you know, and if youare the woman that wants to get
married and he's the guy that'slike I do not care about a ring
whatsoever, I don't care.
If I ever get married I'veheard men say that then you
probably shouldn't be with thatman, because you're gonna try to
make him marry you and you'regonna have to force him to do it
.
And I'm telling you it's notgonna feel good when the next
man who will love you and wantsto be with you will do it
without you even thinking.
(21:47):
Plan the whole thing for you.
Do a really nice proposal,something really unique.
You've seen all the Rememberwhen that trend was going around
with all the guys were doingthese really extravagant
proposals.
Do you remember the guy thatdid a Bruno Mars?
It was a.
I think I want to marry you andhe had like a whole group of
(22:08):
people choreographed and therewas a car on the street where
they were like dancing with itand writing, ghostwriting the
whip, and he's like doingrecords, this whole thing for
her just to ask her to marry him.
You know, and I like that, Ilike that energy into the
proposal.
Right, like he thought about it, he really was excited about it
(22:29):
and I would think you wouldwant that too, you know.
But if you want the forced ring, by all means I don't condone
that.
I just wouldn't feel good aboutit myself.
But that's just me and again, Imean, maybe I just no, I stand
on that.
That is the way to do it.
So, who knows what's going tohappen with Big Sean and Jhene
(22:51):
Aiko?
But if you're going throughsomething like this and you've
been in that relationship forthis many years, I think you got
to have that conversation andunfortunately, if you got to
give the ultimatum, you got togive it.
But at least you'll get youranswer right, like what is it?
And ask him why won't you put aring on it?
Oh, the paper doesn't meananything to me.
Well, you know what that?
(23:17):
Well, you know what.
That's not fair to me.
Okay, that's what you gottatell him.
That's not fair to me, becausethere's a lot of benefits that
come from this, and this issomething that I really want and
I know I want to be with you.
So what is stopping you fromknowing that with me?
You got to answer that and he'sgot to have the answer for that
question, because if he doesn'tand he if he doesn't tell you
you know, I don't know or I justdon't then you need to be the
one to walk away from it and notforce his hand into it.
It's just not going to work.
(23:38):
To me that's like a bad signfor the future.
Even if he gives you that ring,it doesn't mean he really
wanted to or that he seeshimself.
Even maybe he might give youthe ring and then you never make
it to the altar.
Like there's that that happenstoo.
You know the ring doesn't.
The engagement ring doesn'teven ensure that you'll make it
to the altar.
Like there's that that happenstoo.
You know the ring doesn't.
The engagement ring doesn'teven ensure that you'll make it
(23:59):
to the wedding day.
But it's, it's a process, right, and you can get that going.
Take care of yourselves andreally read between those lines
of when that man tells you hedoesn't want to marry you yet,
right?
Or the excuse of I don't havethe money for it, no it, no.
No, he needs to be saving upfor it.
That's not a reason.
That should not be the reason.
Like, and so many women will belike, I don't even care about
(24:21):
the size of the ring.
I know some women who havegotten tattoos on their fingers
just of a ring to symbolize thering right, and that was happy,
that was good enough for them,you know?
Um, so if it's about the moneything and no, I don't think that
that's a really good excuse.
Now, if the woman is like no, Iwant the nice ring, I want the
nice wedding, okay, well then,he needs to be.
(24:43):
You know, budgeting for that,figuring that out in the
meantime, right, but justbecause of that, no, that's not,
that's not a real excuse.
And, man, you need to retire it.
Okay, like, stop it.
It's a lie, you're lying to herand I'm calling you out for it.
So I'm Brittany Gonzalez.
This is the Brunch with Brittanypodcast.
Again, it's a girl's girlpodcast.
(25:04):
Follow it.
I'm on YouTube, tiktok,instagram, all platforms.
Iheartradio okay.
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Follow.
Share this with someone whoneeds to hear this.
Okay, with what big Sean andJhene Aigo are going through, or
is it you?
Um, I hope you learnedsomething from this.
Leave.
Leave any comments in thecomment section, your thoughts.
(25:26):
I want to know am I?
Am I being too harsh on this?
Because I don't think so, butyou can leave those comments.
Drop them below.
Thanks for brunching with me.
Cheers.