Covering Your Mental Health Over The Holidays

Evelyn Erives talks with Diana Gutierrez, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor at Riverside University Health System, about prioritizing your mental health during the stressful holiday season.

Resources discussed in this episode:
Local Helpline - (951) 686-HELP
Mental Health Services through RUHS CARES line - 1 [phone]
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - [phone] or 988
Mental Health Training - RivCoSPC.org

For more on the Inland Empire Health Plan visit IEHP.org
Reach out to Evelyn via Instagram @evelynerives or email her at [e-mail]

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Welcome to Covering Your Health, awellness podcast dedicated to covering all areas of
living a healthy and happy lifestyle,from healthy hearts to understanding health plans and
everything in between. Each episode willprovide you with a better understanding of managing
your health, preventative care, andstaying on the right path for your family's
wellness journey. The Covering Your Healthpodcast is presented by i EhP. Now

(00:26):
your host Evelina Revez. Hello andwelcome to Covering your Health with Evelina Revez.
Yes, it's me, I'm yourhost. I'm really excited to be
here with you today. In thisepisode, we're going to be discussing mental
health during the holidays, a topicthat's actually really personal with me and you

(00:47):
will see maybe later in the episodewhy, and a topic that's especially important
at this time of year. Myguest today is from Riverside University Health System
and they'll be sharing their expertise onthis topic. The holiday season can be
challenging really for all of us,and it's important to prioritize our mental health.

(01:07):
We're going to be discussing some tipsand strategies for managing stress and anxiety
during this time of year, we'llalso be exploring some of the resources available
to help support our mental health.Hello, Diana Gutiette is how are you.
I'm well, Evelyn. Hi,thanks for having me on the show.
I am so excited to have youhere. This is such a really
important topic, especially during the holidays. But before we get into all of

(01:30):
the things and how we can helppeople with our mental health are in the
holidays, let me first ask you, Diana, what made you go into
family therapy and counseling. Well,I mean, I'm a licensed marriage and
family therapist by training, and Ithink I've just always been a helper and
have just always wanted to be thereto support others. I think I've always

(01:53):
kind of been the friend in thegroup that people come to for advice,
and it just kind of led medown this path of getting into therapy.
And I've always also liked to educate, and I'm now in a place in
my career as an administrator over programdevelopment where I can help support not only
the work of helping others, butalso training programs that help educate broader audiences.

(02:17):
So nice, Yeah, that's wonderful. I love what you said about
how you are the person that maybeyour friends and family would come to for
advice. It seems like there's somany times in our youth before we get
into our careers that people see thingsin us, you know what I mean,

(02:38):
they speak it into us. Ihad that happen to me too with
my radio career. Someone told mehow good I sounded at something and so,
and it made me go, really, am I good at that?
Really? So it's so wonderful howthose little clues lead us towards our next
path and our purpose. Right,yeah, I agree? Yeah, absolutely,

(02:59):
Okay, so let's get into this. It is the holidays, and
in your perspective, since you arethe expert, what are the most common
causes of stress and anxiety for peopleexperiencing those types of stresses during the holiday
season, And how do they reallydiffer from just regular everyday stressors. You

(03:20):
know, I think that these arekinds of things. People deal with,
these stressors and these kinds of thingsall year long. But the holiday,
while it can be joyful and excitingfor many, it can also bring a
lot of challenges and that can exacerbatesort of those everyday stressors that we all
struggle with, you know, thingslike the pressure of saying yes yes to

(03:42):
an invitation, yes to an outingyes, and having to fit in so
much in such a small amount oftime can be really stressful for folks.
It also can be a time whereyou can find that you might find some
setbacks in progress that you've been makingin different areas of your life that can
feel isolating and overwhelming. Frankly,that contributes to those stressors. And then,

(04:05):
of course, who's not worried aboutfinances during the time of the year,
You know, the kind of steppressure of feeling like I need to
buy a gift for everyone I careabout to show them how much I care
about them, but not having enoughmoney to make that happen. And then,
of course holiday time is family time, all about family gatherings, and
for a lot of people that's abouttradition and comfort and cheer. But for

(04:29):
some family gatherings can bring a lotof anxiety due to family conflict strange relationships
in the family, and that canmake going to family functions stressful and not
fun. Yeah, yeah, you'reright or uncomfortable, right, and then
that's stressful. Yes, Well,there's a couple of things that you mentioned
within that really great answer, becausethere's a lot of things in there that

(04:53):
cause stress. When you were sayingabout maybe people find that they're not where
they thought they should be at acertain point, it is. It's so
fascinating to me how the holidays cantrigger that. You know, you come
to the holidays and you think,oh, next year, I'm gonna have
more money to be able to takecare more people during the holidays, I
can adopt a family. Maybe duringthe holidays, I could do this,
And then you get there. Itcomes so quickly and you're like, I

(05:15):
am not where I was supposed tobe. Yeah, I can see how
someone might have those thoughts. Rightas we get to the end of the
year, we begin to reflect,yeah, what has this year been like
for me? You know, thenyou get into New Year's resolution and all
of that. That adds its ownlevel of stress, and you know,
an anticipation, anxiety for what's tocome and how do I fix this?

(05:35):
So to speak. Yes, so, yeah, all those things can play
a role into how people navigate thistime of the year, and that can
add a lot of pressure. Yeah. Absolutely, And then the key other
one saying yes, you don't haveto say yes, oh that's something I
had to learn. Yeah, Like, that's a learned behavior me too.
I think as women, especially right, absolutely, I think we are people

(05:57):
pleasers, we really are, andwe want to say yes. There's not
a part of us that doesn't wantto say us. Right, I think
we're all No. Of course Ican do that for you. Oh,
I can be at this place andat this place somehow at the same time.
You know, I can make itbe there. Yeah. Yeah.
And then when you're married and thein laws and you're like, how do
we navigate all that and make everybodyhappy? Yes? Yeah, saying yes,

(06:19):
and that's learning to say no.And that's really kind of a thing
that's not even just the holidays.Learning to say no through the year is
yes. Oh, I need atraining for that for a long time.
Okay, so we know what thesestresses are during the holidays. Now,
what are some great advice or maybeeffective strategies for managing holiday related stress and

(06:42):
anxiety? Yes? I think thesethese might be applied all year, Like
you said, I can use thathelp all year long, but particularly for
this time of year. I havethree ideas, three strategies that could help.
Okay. I think number one,plan early and prioritize, So think
ahead, what are the activities thatyou want to do that like enjoying those
old traditions or making some new ones. Think in advance, plan for that.

(07:05):
Do you want to connect with others? Do you want to give back
through volunteering, And begin to plotthat out over this very short holiday season,
right, and then be sure toinclude self care activities within that so
that you're not burning yourself at bothends of the stick. So that'd be
the first one. The second thing, I think set healthy boundaries before all

(07:27):
that hustle and bustle happens. Soagain it's okay to say no even when
those expectations are there to say yes. And I think important to know what
your triggers are, So things,food, family, substances, all of
these things come up during this timeof the year, and so really important
to think about what those triggers arefor you. And you know, I

(07:49):
talked a little earlier about how itcould have some impacts on your own progress,
and that's kind of what I wasreferring to. So what is it
that you're working on, what's goingto come up that may impede that,
and then come up with a planfor it so that you can stay safe
during this holiday season. And thenthat's the final thing that I think may
help with that is deciding if youwant to share it. So as you

(08:11):
put together this plan and this strategy, who needs to know about it?
Who can best support you? Friends, family members, co workers, or
a therapist. And then you know, once you decide who those folks are,
share it with them so that youget support. And as you're navigating
this challenging time, you've got somebodyto lean on who can help keep you
on track. Those are such great, that's great advice. Oh. I

(08:35):
love that I wrote every single thingdown. I am taking notes excellent,
really great. Okay, so thatI don't even have any follow up because
I feel like that's just such aneffective way. Well, let me ask
this, how far in advance doyou feel like you need to plan?
Well, you know that's going tovary for everybody, but I think you
know, when does the holiday seasonsort of start for you? I think

(08:56):
as the hustle and bustle is building, the earlier you can do it before
that, the better. And Ialways kind of I don't know, I
know it's already mid December now,so any time is great to do it.
So if it's if you're starting today, start today, yeah, but
maybe if you're thinking about years tocome. I think as we head toward
fall, Halloween that kind of kicksoff all the parties and get togethers,

(09:18):
and that may be a great timeto start thinking about it as well.
I was just thinking Halloween, Yeah, Halloween, because you know, that's
for my kids, that's when theystart thinking about the holidays they consider,
you know, and we do too. I think a lot of people do
consider the start of the holidays atHalloween, yeah, because that's the first
big holiday at the end of theyear, and then they just kind of
go from there, right absolutely,And that's when the Christmas lists start getting

(09:41):
break down, and everything they askfor, it's like put it on the
list. Put it on the list, yes, yep, and then yeah
exactly. And then when they startasking for you think for things, you
go, well, that's coming offyour Christmas list. I just hope,
you know, I hope you knowthis is also a Christmas present. And
perhaps that's another stress. A wayof managing the stress is that as kids

(10:03):
are asking for stuff, you justput it on the list. Isn't that
hilarious. Now I know exactly whatI've been doing, and I didn't even
know it. Okay, So here'sa great question, I think, because
I think a lot of people wantto support their friends and their family if
they're going through something hard like stressor anxiety anytime really, but during the

(10:24):
holidays. So what advice would yougive to friends or family members who want
to support someone that is struggling withmaybe depression or grief or just really any
of the other challenges that come duringthe holidays. Yeah, that's a great
question, and I think the bestway is just to connect with them,
be there for somebody, Talk openlyabout what you're noticing and ask them about

(10:50):
it. Listen to really hear whatthey're saying and feeling. Right, sometimes
we just listen to respond, Butwhen you are noticing that someone you can
about is struggling, listen to listenand just hear what they've been going through
or experiencing. Creating that safe spacefor them to share what might be difficult
to share. And you know,folks can also learn about symptoms related to

(11:15):
mental illness, warning signs for suicideas well. Reassure the people that you
care about that they're not alone,that you care about them, that you'll
be here to continue to support them, and then throughout the holiday season as
well as the entire year, stayin touch through phone calls, visits,
helping them to feel less isolated,to know that they have at least someone

(11:39):
in their corner helping them through thatchallenge. I loved what you said,
Listen to listen, not listen torespond. That's something that I think a
lot of people have struggles with becauseyou know, we're always wanting to give
our perspective into something else, right, Oh oh, well, you know
you could always do this and didit instead of fully in the moment and

(12:01):
hearing what is happening and seeing whatis happening with your friend. One thing,
I don't know if this is eventhe right thing to say, because
I'm not an expert, but sometimesjust listening helps, right, even if
you can't give them the proper careor you can't give them a proper advice
because you just don't know the answer, just listening. I don't know.
I feel like when somebody just listensto me, I feel better. Yeah.

(12:24):
No, absolutely, In fact,you took those words right out of
my mouth. That's what I wasgoing to say is that, you know,
sometimes we just feel like we haveto have an answer or a solution,
so we go into problem solving mode. You could try, you could
try, or it's not that bad, or hey, this happened to me
and this is what I did,and it's not that those things are bad.
Right, there's a place for thosethings, but it's also very important
to just give some space and listenand be present. Yeah, it does

(12:48):
make a big difference. It reallydoes. It really does. Oh,
thank you so much. This isDiana Guttietis by the way, with a
Riverside University Health System. She isa licensed family therapist and counselor as well.
Right, yes, can I askwhat is the difference, what is
the difference between those two things?Well, I hold there's a few licenses
in the state for individuals who cando therapy. So I am a licensed

(13:13):
marriage and family therapist as well asa licensed professional clinical counselor. Both hold
licenses in the state of California tojust off be able to offer both individual
family therapy and then a licensed professionalclinical counselor has the addition of being able
to offer career counseling as well.One distinction there. Yeah, nice,

(13:35):
look at you. You really wentall in when you said I'm gonna do
this. I went all in.I did. That's wonderful. Okay,
so you're the best person to askthis next question? Then, what are
some resources available to individuals who areexperiencing symptoms related to mental health over the
holidays. Yeah? Here in RiversideCounty, I just really firmly believe our

(14:00):
community members are blessed with a lotof incredible resources locally. So that I
really want to highlight is our localhelpline. It's our local crisis and suicide
prevention lifeline that's at nine to five, one six eighty six help. They
have trained experienced crisis counselors that arethere to provide support from emotional distress all

(14:20):
the way to supporting individuals who arehaving thoughts of suicide. So you do
not need to be in a suicidecrisis to call this phone number. They
are there twenty four to seven.And if really any emotional distress is a
great time to call helpline and thecounselors are there, They're going to assess
callers' needs connect them to the absolutebest resources for them that might even include

(14:43):
our uhs's Mobile Crisis Intervention Team ifthat's needed. So we work really closely
with them and make sure that ifthere is someone in the community that would
benefit more from having a counselor respondright there on scene to get them connected,
we can do that. We haveunits that will be able to deploy
and support people in the community.Wow, I did not know about that.

(15:05):
And we also, of course,the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is always
available at nine eight eight, sopeople can call there. And then Riverside
County has three mental health urgent carecenters, So I don't know if you
knew we had those, No,no, no, no, yeah,
tell me Moore, one in eachof our regions of our county, so
Palm Springs, Paris, and herein Riverside. These are I think about

(15:28):
urgent care when you are not feelingwell, so you don't go to the
emergency room, you go to urgentcare to get quick intervention. Right.
This is the same thing focused onmental health. So it's not the hospital.
It's short term. They're open twentyfour to seven, but this is
voluntary for individuals who are saying Iam struggling with some mental health and I

(15:48):
need support right now. I can'twait for an appointment, so they can
go. I am amazed. Yeah, and they can get crisis interventions support
right there, on site, mentalhealth counseling, they do medication and evaluations
and get of course link folks tothe right community based solution. So those
are really important to know about.And then for people who want to access
mental health services through our UHS,the Behavioral Health Department, they can call

(16:12):
our cares line at one eight hundredfour ninety nine three zero zero eight.
Wow, I'm reading everything down.Oh my gosh, I am really amazed.
I can't believe I didn't know that. I did not know that there's
urgent care for mental health. That'sincredible. Yeah, we're actually one of

(16:32):
the few counties that have such aservice in the nation. Really, so
we're very lucky here to have thatsupport. Yeah, how lucky are we?
I mean, that's so helpful,not for just you know, there
are going to be people that listento this and go, well, I'm
not really struggling, but they weall know someone who is. We all
know someone who we might know whatnot the right thing to do, don't
We might not know what to do, but we now know there's a resource

(16:56):
that we can pass them over toor help them get too. Yep.
Wow, wow, I'm really amazedby that, Like a little stunned domos,
I had no idea. Well,I'm glad that you learned something new
about that. I learned so much. This is only a few episodes in
with this Covering Your Health podcast,but I am learning so many things.
I'm so excited to be doing this. Okay, So what are some things

(17:21):
that people can do to help orget involved with assisting family or friends regarding
their mental health? What can wedo? Yeah, the big message for
me be courageous. Be courageous andask directly how someone is doing. A
lot of times people are afraid thatI'm going to offend them or oh,
that's not something we should talk about. That's called stigma, and so we

(17:41):
want to remove the stigma and reallyhelp people feel comfortable that mental health is
just like physical health. It's importantthat we handle all of our emotions,
our brain, our body, andthat talking about it should be just as
normal as talking about any other ata heart attack or a stomach ache.

(18:02):
This is the same. And soif you want to learn more about how
to become aware of the signs andsymptoms about mental health, mental illness,
and suicide prevention. You can attendfree trainings that we offer here at r
UHS. You can find all ofthat information at RIVCOSPC dot org. This

(18:22):
is the website for our Riverside CountySuicide Prevention Coalition. So, in addition
to being an administrator and a marriageand family therapist, I actually am a
co chair for the Riverside County SuicidePrevention Coalition. Our county has been working
in partnership with many organizations throughout ourcounty to bring the strategic plan we have

(18:44):
for our local county to action.And with that, we have subcommittees,
so people can join a subcommittee andbe a part of the work. They
can come to trainings and learn moreabout how to help the people that they
care about, and then or theycan come to a quarterly meeting. And
in fact next quarterly meeting, whichis virtual, is on January twenty fourth
at nine am. We are actuallyhaving a presenter named Bailey Parnell who's going

(19:07):
to talk about safe social social media'simpact on mental health. Yes, yeah,
these are free trainings and if yougo to RIVCOSPC dot org. You
can get all the registration information aswell as resources and training information. I'm
writing that down as well. That'sincredible. There's just so much. There's

(19:29):
so much out there. There's justreally so many resources, and I'm just
telling you a few of them.Really. Yeah, Oh, I bet,
I bet you have so much knowledge. On a personal note, my
own family went through some a mentalhealth crisis. My husband had a very
very I don't even know what tocall it. At this point. Now
we kind of joke about it becausehe's doing so much better. But at

(19:52):
the time, I didn't know thesigns. I didn't know what I needed
to be looking out for with hisstress. I didn't realize it was as
bad as it was either before itgot to a point where I physically had
to take him to a hospital.And I've learned a lot since then in
how to see and navigate his triggerswith things, because he's a man,

(20:18):
yeah, and he doesn't want totell me, you know that he's feeling
some kind of way. And thereif I knew that there were these resources
that I could have gone and learneda little bit more, I think I
would have absolutely jumped on that,because that's one of those things that you
don't you know what I mean,you don't know that you're going to need
this until you're already in it.Yeah. Absolutely, I mean, thank
you for your bravery in sharing that. And I'm assuming your husband also shares

(20:41):
his story. Yes, yes,you know, when people can share that
I've been there and I want momon the other side of it and I'm
doing well, that's how we breakstigma. Yeah, that's how we show
people that it is okay to talkabout the hard things and that there are
resources out there and people out thereto help. And you know, you
bring up the challenge of men askingfor help. Absolutely, there are all

(21:03):
sorts of cultural and social stigmas relatedto asking for help as a man,
and we actually have a campaign happeninghere in Riverside County a website called manthapy
dot org. If you haven't beenthere, check it out. It is
a very culturally specific in addressing menand the challenges of asking for help.

(21:30):
And they offer head inspections on thiswebsite that help men just kind of check
in with themselves and see where thingsare and if they need a little bit
of support, it links them upto resources, so I'd encourage people to
also check out man therapy dot org. Wow. Okay, absolutely, very
very cool. Thank you so muchfor sharing that. Absolutely, so I
feel like we could go on andon forever and ever and ever because there's

(21:52):
so much to talk about with regardsto this. So I may bring you
back because that would be so wonderful. Okay for us to chat again.
Be glad to do it. Oh, I'm so glad. Thank you so
much. Before we go, Iwould love for you to give me I
know you gave me some really greatpoints already. So let's like kind of
round it all out. What arethree things that we can take away from

(22:14):
today's discussion? All right, there'sso many things, I know, yes,
okay. Number one, prioritize yourown mental health and wellness. Yes,
develop a plan for how you wantto celebrate this season or how you
really want to navigate your life.And just remember that no is a complete
sentence. Amen, all right,that's number one. Number two, look

(22:36):
out for those you care about.Talk to them about any concerns that you
notice and let them know that theyare not alone. Be courageous, Be
courageous. Yeah, and then numberthree, learn more and get trained.
So find these free trainings and resourcesthat we have available for you at RIVCOSPC
dot org and you can always reachout to us through that site and get

(22:59):
any additional information that you might need. Wonderful Diana gutiedis from Riverside University Health
System. Oh, You're such apleasure to have on. Thank you so
much. I feel like I learneda ton today, terrific. Thank you
so much. It was lovely totalk with you, and I would be
so thrilled to come back anytime.Absolutely, we will most definitely make that

(23:21):
happen. Have a happy holiday.I can't wait to share this with everybody
and all of the new resources thatwe have and everybody. You know,
we can get through this. Wecan get through this altogether. We absolutely
can. Thanks so much and happyholidays to you as well. Another huge
thank you to Diana guthiedis from RiversideUniversity Health System and IHP our presenting sponsor

(23:41):
who always does such a wonderful jobhelping me get these wonderful experts from our
community, the Inland Empire, sothat we are better informed, we feel
more confident in our health. Andif that isn't something that we should be
starting at twenty twenty four with IDon't Know what is right. Thank you
so much for joining me on anotherepisode of covering your health with Evil and

(24:04):
a Revez. Remember to prioritize yourmental health and the mental health of your
loved ones during this holiday season.