October 13, 2025 • 42 mins
Covering Your Health with Evelyn Erives, presented by IEHP
In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Evelyn Erives sits down with Carrie Madrid, a breast cancer survivor and the inspiring founder of The Care Project, a Riverside-based nonprofit dedicated to supporting individuals diagnosed with breast cancer. In this heartfelt episode, Carrie shares her personal journey from diagnosis to advocacy, shedding light on the emotional and financial challenges patients face during and after treatment. We dive into the incredible work The Care Project is doing to provide educational resources and monetary support and discuss Carrie’s passionate efforts to raise awareness about male breast cancer—a topic often overlooked in mainstream conversations. Whether you’re a survivor, a caregiver, or someone looking to make a difference, this episode offers powerful insights and practical ways to support those navigating life after a breast cancer diagnosis.
Tune in for an empowering conversation that reminds us all of the strength found in community, compassion, and courage.
For more information on this show's topic visit IEHP.org or (800) 440-IEHP.
To learn more about The Care Project, Inc visit TheCareProjectInc.org.
Reach out to Evelyn via Instagram @evelynerives or email her at EvelynErives@iHeartMedia.com
In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Evelyn Erives sits down with Carrie Madrid, a breast cancer survivor and the inspiring founder of The Care Project, a Riverside-based nonprofit dedicated to supporting individuals diagnosed with breast cancer. In this heartfelt episode, Carrie shares her personal journey from diagnosis to advocacy, shedding light on the emotional and financial challenges patients face during and after treatment. We dive into the incredible work The Care Project is doing to provide educational resources and monetary support and discuss Carrie’s passionate efforts to raise awareness about male breast cancer—a topic often overlooked in mainstream conversations. Whether you’re a survivor, a caregiver, or someone looking to make a difference, this episode offers powerful insights and practical ways to support those navigating life after a breast cancer diagnosis.
Tune in for an empowering conversation that reminds us all of the strength found in community, compassion, and courage.
For more information on this show's topic visit IEHP.org or (800) 440-IEHP.
To learn more about The Care Project, Inc visit TheCareProjectInc.org.
Reach out to Evelyn via Instagram @evelynerives or email her at EvelynErives@iHeartMedia.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Covering Your Health
with Evelini revis presented by IEHP So happy to have
you here. You know, each October we nationally recognize Breast
Cancer Awareness Month, where we encourage both women and men
to get screened for breast cancer. We uplift stories of
(00:22):
survival and amplify the voices that are lost but never forgotten.
And today we welcome my friend Carrie Madrid to Covering
your Health. She's going to share about her cancer journey
and how it inspired her to start a wonderful nonprofit,
The Care Project, a Riverside based nonprofit supporting those diagnosed
(00:42):
with breast cancer by providing educational resources and monetary support
during and after treatment. Our conversation goes deep into the
importance of keeping up with your own health, Some signs
to look for, what questions to ask your primary care physics.
We definitely talk about her own cancer journey. I have
(01:04):
heard her call it her cancer extravaganza, and I cannot
wait for you to meet her and really fall in
love with her. Her mindset and her perspective and her motivation.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
To inspire others to just really never give up.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Welcome to Covering Your Health a wellness podcast dedicated to
covering all areas of living a healthy and happy lifestyle,
from healthy hearts to understanding health plans and everything in between.
Each episode will provide you with a better understanding of
managing your health, preventative care, and staying on the right
path for your family's wellness journey. The Covering Your Health
(01:44):
podcast is presented by i EhP. Now your host Evelina Revez.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Hi, Carrie, Welcome to the show. How are you?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
I am, okay, how are you?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
It's really great to see you. It really is great
to see you.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I love starting a show like you and I know
each other, but nobody, not nobody. There's a lot of
people that know you, but there may be a lot
of new faces that have never ever met you.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Please tell us about you.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
That's a loading question, Okay, tell us.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
About finding your passion for what you're doing. Now, where
did this come from?
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Right? So, at forty one, I rolled over in bed
one day and I thought I rolled onto like the
TV remote or something, and then I remembered I didn't
have a TV in my bedroom, so it couldn't be that,
and I was half asleep and anyways, I got up,
used a restroom, went back to bed, woke up late
later that morning, rolled over in bed, and I determined,
(02:42):
or I discovered I had two big lumps on my
left breast. And I had just turned forty one, so
I hadn't had my first mammogram yet I was due.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yes, yes, so my first.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Mammogram confirmed as stage three diagnosis. I had two tumors,
two different types of cancer. One non aggressive and kind
of you know, very slow growing. So that was good.
But the large one was the most common form, which
was infiltrating doctor, and it was involving lymph nodes already,
(03:13):
and so it was stage three.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
So fast forward. I go into treatment, and long story short,
I meet all kinds of other people going through breast
cancer and in chatting with them in the waiting room
while you're waiting to go get zapped with radiation or
you're sitting in an infusion chair for six hours getting chemotherapy,
you know, I talked to everybody. So I was talking
(03:39):
to people and I found other I was a divorced,
single mom, and I found others that were choosing between
one hundred dollars copay for treatment or one hundred dollars
in groceries for their teenagers. And my girls, you know,
we're twelve and fifteen, and my son was twenty two
and off in the Air Force, and I was living
check to check, and so I with me that they
(04:01):
were struggling. I just happened to have a better medical plan,
so I didn't have all those cops and I had
my dad alive then, who said, I know, copes aren't
in your budget. I got you. And I had other
family members that said, you know what, here's a thousand
dollars used towards copes or whatever you need.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
You know, and so yeah, I have you had a
community to help you.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I did at first. I had had a community financially,
I didn't have one so much emotionally. And so when
you factor those two things together between really sort of
lacking this emotional support. And I say that from others
that have been there, done that, right. So people rally
around you and they love you and they say all
(04:44):
the right things, but they don't really know what you're
going through because they've been there, you know. So that's
where it all stemmed from. I just saw a need
and I just am kind of a fixer to a fault,
and I was like, Okay, I got to do something
about this, and so that's how the care Project was born.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Wow wow. And so you had a regular day job.
What do you do?
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Yeah, so I've worked full time. I still work full
time for a medical company that's based in the Bay
Area of California. So I work as a conference coordinator
for a catastrophic case management company. So I was fortunate
enough to be working from home, and so I was
able to kind of work through treatment and take the
minimal amount of time off work. So like I only
(05:30):
took six or seven days off from mymasectomy and then
I worked out of my recliner, wrapped up. I know,
it's nuts, and I think about it now and I'm like,
nobody should ever do that.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I do that exactly, but yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Yeah, a lot of lessons learned. So so I had
good insurance. I still have good insurance. But even with that,
it's you know, I'm a Cheiser Permanente patient. And what
I didn't know then that I known fourteen years later
is that there's different health play. There's different coverages, right,
and so you just think everyone next to you in
(06:04):
the same hospital is getting the same coverage and they're not.
They're not. And so I saw these people that were
choosing between cops and I was like, wait, you have
one hundred dollars copay for radiation. Radiation is every day
Monday through Friday, you know, for X amount of weeks
usually minimum three to five weeks, and chemotherapy. Can you
(06:25):
know your regimen can vary. So that's really where it
all stemmed from. So, yeah, I still work full time
because I need my benefit.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, I gotta have the benefits.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
So mom of three, very busy, work from home, You're
going through all of these things. What inspired you to
stay strong and positive through all of that.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Well, you know how they say when something traumatic hits,
its fight or flight, So for me, it was fight.
Was dating somebody at the time. It was getting kind
of serious, but he didn't take it well and kind
of couldn't handle it, and so it was kind of
a blessing in disguise, but a rough patch that he
(07:11):
was like, yeah, I'm out of here. But had my coolds,
I had my sn and so you know, my son
was I had my son at eighteen and he was
off being successful in the Air Force. He was in
Korea at the time. Serving, and my girls were thirteen
and fifteen, and I was the booster president at North
(07:32):
High School for the girls' basketball program. So I had
like thirty two basketball daughters that were looking at me
going through this. And I remember the day I got
my results from my biopsy. One of my best friends, Lupe,
was with me and we were sitting in the surgeon's
office and he says, well, I have some bad news
(07:53):
for you. He said, it's not good, and I said, well,
I already know that, Like, tell me what it is.
Can you imagine that me saying that to a surgeon
like I already know, Just tell me. So my friend said,
after he gives us all the bad news, she said,
excuse me, doc, and she looks at me and she says,
how can you be so calm? And I said, without thinking,
(08:16):
this just came out of my mouth. I said, you
know what, I don't know, but I have thirty two
basketball daughters and my own two watching me. And maybe
this is just a responsibility or something like that given
to me to show others how to deal with this.
I don't know, but whatever it is, we got to
just do it. And so I feel like because I
(08:36):
really didn't have like a husband or a boyfriend, so
to speak, to like lean on and fall apart too.
Like I just went into like survivor mode and I
had all these kids depending on me, And it sounds
so silly, but basketball was my life at that time.
It sports, it really was. And so the girls team
was going to state championship for the first time. I'm like,
(08:57):
I got to go to state with that. I mean,
I orchestrated and scheduled my meseectomy around finals. The surgeon
was like, yeah, we need I could get you in
next week. I was like, no, I need like another
two weeks. He's like, no, you need to go in now.
And I was like, oh my gosh. So I just
I you know, I didn't have any delusions of grandeur.
(09:18):
I didn't think I was going to go start a nonprofit,
write a book, have a podcast, none of that. I
just knew, I guess I have to go through this.
And to be honest, there was a lot of weather
things that I sort of like survived through, like childhood.
So by the time I got to this, it was
just like, of course I have read what else could
(09:41):
I deal with? And so I just I chose laughter
and lip glass was my silly mantra that I was
going to go through it. And my best friend said,
I don't care if you go bald. I don't care
if you lose your breasts. Here's what you're gonna do.
You're gonna keep your totails painted and you're going to
keep your lip gloss on. That's right, okay, And that's
what I did, so.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I don't do that. I could do that.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
I could do that, and my basketball girls, when I
was ready to like fall apart or having a really
rough time from chemo, I would inevitably get some random
text message from one of the girls on the team.
Not even my own kids, right because they're just like, oh,
she's fine, you know, she's fine. But the basketball girls
would text me or coach would text me and say, hey,
(10:23):
you got this. I know you're hurting right now, but
you got this, and it would just be just enough
to like, okay, I got to keep going, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
You know, and it will. It feels like you were
part of that team. You know the team aspect. Any
you know, when you're coaching someone on a basketball court
or any other sport, you're telling them you're building their confidence, right,
You're like, hey, you got this.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
I know you can make that dunk. I know you
can do this. I know you can do that.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It's kind of like it was kind of a great
blessing that you had that that community of team sport,
you know, and camaraderie to help you get through that
part too. But what I was going to point out
is that I think the other part of you being
so strong is I think there was probably something in
(11:12):
you that realized this is bigger than me, that's going
to pull me through this.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Yeah you're gonna make me cry. Yeah, yeah, there was.
And I didn't know what it was. I just knew that.
That's what I just said to her. I don't know,
I can't explain it, but it is what it is,
and that's the story of my life. And here we go.
And she looked at me and said, oh God, do
we have to like pink now? And I said, oh
(11:39):
lord no, So yeah, yes, there was something there was.
I always tell people there was just an overwhelming sense
of peace, even in that chaotic moment, and it was
almost supernatural, like I couldn't I don't want to sound
all woo woo, but but it was. That's my truth.
(12:01):
It really was. And I remember looking down. I had
my hands folded in my lap and looking down and
I was like this because I think I was in shock,
but I didn't even know it at the time. I
was just like, Yeah, come on, let's go.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
It all hit me later, Yeah, I'm oh, my gosh,
I'm sure. I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Okay, So let's talk about some of the signs before diagnosis.
So you said you felt like you rolled over and
you felt like you like you felt something.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
On you, right, Was that the only sign that you had?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Did you have any other symptoms leading up that you
did not pay attention to?
Speaker 4 (12:33):
I did? I did. And the only thing I can
think of is I remember, you know, as a mom,
you're always rushing to take a shower, right, There's never
those long, let's get ready on Friday night showers anymore.
So I remember rushing in to take a shower and
like ripping my shirt off, and I like kind of
stumbled and I hit my left breast on like the
towel bar, right, and I was like and I looked
(12:56):
down and I was like, geez, that hurt. And when
I did that, there was a little bit of discharge
from my left nickel but it wasn't like milky, and
it wasn't like bloody. It wasn't yellow or brown. It
was like almost like the consistency of sticky rice. Really,
what the heck is that? And it was kind of
itchy after and I just thought, well, I just smacked it.
(13:18):
You know, I still had a period at the time,
so I thought, well, maybe my period's starting, and it's
you know, formal what you blow it off?
Speaker 2 (13:25):
You do. We're women, we do that. We get a
lot of symptoms for a lot of things.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Yeah, right, right right, don't get me started on that.
So but anyways, I so if I think back, I
would say that that's probably the only thing other than that,
you know, I if I would have stopped and done
self breast exams, I probably would have found those two lumps,
because one was like huge and it was all the
way on the side, which is often the case for people.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
So you're thinking your general area breast when you think
of breast cancer, but it isn't. It's such a wide
sloth of your upper body.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
It is, and I am naturally wide. You know, some
people their breasts are more narrow. For me, I'm wide,
you know. I always say I'm like a linebacker, but
I'm very wide, and the funny thing and will not
funny funny, not funny, how hat, but funny is funny ironic.
Nine years prior, I had a breast reduction because every
woman on my dad's side of the family, myself included
(14:23):
my daughters, have just very large chests and it was
cumbersome and it caroused headaches and back aches and neck aches,
and so I had a reduction, and so it probably
helped save my life, the surgeon said, because I was
able to actually feel it when I rolled over, whereas
before I might not have. Oh wow, so that's the
only thing I can think of beforehand. There might be
(14:44):
something else. But you know, I was in such a
rush all the time between work and basketball that I
never slowed down long enough to take like a long,
proper shower and self exam and all this.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah, oh yeah, I get it.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
So it's estimated that one in eight women will be
diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
In twenty twenty five, I can't believe this.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Twenty eight hundred men in the US will receive their
invasive breast cancer diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Let's talk about that. I know you've got done.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
A lot of work with a lot of amazing men
who are cancer warriors.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Tell me about that stigma that's involved.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I know that you know what you've talked to it
because you've met so many of these people, And how
can we encourage our men to also get checked for this?
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Right? It is a staggering statistic, and I like to
break it down the same way as it's one in
eight women, it's one in seven hundred and twenty six
men will be diagnosed in their lifetime. And so I've
heard it said, but that's only one percent of breast cancer,
Like do we really need to worry about it?
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
But think about it. If that one percent is your husband,
your brother, your father, your uncle, your grandfather, your son,
how are you going to feel it is just as
important for that one in seven hundred and twenty six
as it is for one in eight. And the reason
I became so passionate about this is when I started
the Care Project. Actually before that. You know, when you're diagnosed,
(16:14):
they tell you don't google anything, don't google your survival statistics,
and you do. You do. So I was like stage three,
Oh my gosh, Like, what are my survival statistics. The
next thing I googled was do man get breast cancer?
And the reason I did that is because I have
three brothers. I don't have any sisters, and I was
concerned about them because, also not being educated, I'm thinking, well,
(16:36):
if I have it, you know it must run in
the family. But actually, most breast cancer does not run
in the family. It's not genetic. Most of it is sporadic,
which is what mine was. But I googled that and
I found the statistic and I started doing research, and
I realized in searching for other resources for myself and others,
(16:57):
that I was meeting in those treatment centers. Yeah, nobody
includes men. They don't include it in their marketing. They
don't include it in the hospitals. When you step off
the elevator and you see everything pink and it says
women get your mammograms. Women one in eight women. There's
nothing that says, by the way, men, you're not exempt.
(17:17):
And I am a big mouth, and I was like,
I fight for the underdog, and someone needs to represent
these people, and that could be my brother. So that's
where it began. And so since the inception of the
Care Project, it has always been our mission to support
not just women diagnosed, but men, anybody diagnosed with breast cancer. Listen,
humans all have breast tissue, which means every human can
(17:39):
get breast cancer, and they do. So I've met tons
of men all over the country that have been diagnosed.
I've lost several men to metastatic breast cancer, the same
as my female friends. And unfortunately a lot of them
have a poor prognosis because they're diagnosed later because they
just don't know. They don't know, So what do we do?
(18:00):
We need to tell them. We as women, are usually
the drivers to our husbands, to our fathers, to our sons,
to our spouses. Hey, man, get checked out. So the
same way that women need to know their normal, men
need to know their normal. You're already in the shower,
you're washing your body. You should be washing your chest.
Know what's normal and what's not? And went in doubt?
(18:20):
Get checked out?
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah I love that, went in doubt? Get checked out?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah, How did you talk with your family when this
first all came to be, when you first got diagnosis?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Who did you go? I know you were you had
a friend.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
With you or yeah that first year I had my
best friend with me and we left the doctor's office
and she said, now what are we going to do?
I said, well, first we're going to go get something
to eat. I'm gonna eat whatever I want because all
I think in my mind is like all the movies
where you see these people throwing up profusely from chemo.
And I was like, Okay, We're going to go eat
(18:56):
while I can enjoy it, and.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Then we're going to hold it a lot this meal.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Yeah, and then we're going to go to the mall,
which I hate them all. Neither one of us are
big shoppers. And I'm like, We're going to go to
the mall. I'm going to buy the most expensive lip
glasses I can find because as a single mom, I
always bought the cheap ones, right, So I was like, no,
I'm going to get all the glass I want. And
I said, but I got to make one phone call.
So I actually was pretty estranged from my mom. But
(19:21):
I couldn't. I knew I couldn't call my dad because
I you know, he's a super macho guy, and I'm
thinking I don't want to talk to like, Okay, let
me just call my mom. So I called her out
of the blue. She was probably like, oh god, what
And I said, are you sitting down? And she said,
uh no, but I can be. And I said, okay,
sit down. I need to tell you this and I
need you to just listen. And I said, I was
(19:44):
just diagnosed with breast cancer. I need you to tell
my brothers. I need you to call my dad. So
even though they were divorced, they were friends. And I said,
you need to call my dad and he can tell
his side of the family, but also tell them this.
I'm with Loup. I'm fine, and I need time. Please
don't call me. I'll call you. And I think I
might have even hung up on her, but it's all
(20:07):
a blur, you know. And so then because my concern
was my kids, right, my kids, My son was in
Korea and I had no way to contact him other
than through Facebook, right, So I remember he was the
only person I told that I had found these lumps,
and so I had to get online and tell him
(20:28):
through fatal and there was this big time difference, and
so I had to tell them. So I sat the
girls down when I got home with Loup, and I
just said, okay, look, I have some news and I
don't know how this is going to go, but it's
going to get a little scary, but I'm going to
be okay. Yeah, and we're just going to take it
day by day. And they just kind of looked at me.
I mean, twelve and fifteen, what are they going to do?
(20:51):
And you know, we just pressed through. So that that
was hard. That was really hard. But eventually I took
phone calls from my brothers, but I just it's hard
because you know, when you're not real close with them,
like I love my brothers. I know they love me,
but we're not like super close, and so then there's
this big intimate thing that you have to say, I
(21:11):
have cancer and you they've looked at me like, oh,
she's the strong one, and here I have to be
not the strong one.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I wasn't.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
I wasn't And I don't recommend that people. I don't
recommend that.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Okay, speaking of speaking of what advice can you give
for someone who maybe is even yet to have that conversation?
Speaker 4 (21:32):
Keep it real, yeah, keep it real. Listen, express how
you feel if you are scared to death, Say I
am scared to death. I think I'm gonna be okay,
but I don't know, And maybe tomorrow I'm going to
feel like so like I got this, and other days
I'm going to feel like, oh my gosh, I can't,
like you need to openly talk about it. And I
(21:55):
will tell you this, as a parent, we try to
keep everything normal for our kids. We try to not
panic them. We try that's our built in response.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
You're right, but I.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Will tell you that you actually need to balance that
with the reality of how you're feeling. And the reason
is this, one day they're gonna face some tragedy, some trauma,
some scare something, and they need to know that it's
okay to be vulnerable and to talk about how they're
feeling versus bottling it up. And I have the chill
(22:31):
saying that because I had daughters that were struggling emotionally
and I didn't know because all I did was put
on this strong front. So they then thought that they
needed to be strong through everything they faced instead of saying,
I'm really struggling mentally, emotionally, physically. We need to keep
(22:54):
it real with our kids. And I will tell you
one other thing is I've had some metastatic terminal pace
that kept telling their teens and their young kids, I'm
going to be fine. I'm going to be fine knowing
full while they were going to die, and they left
those children feeling betrayed, sad, frustrated, angry, all the things
because they didn't be honest with them. And you can
(23:17):
keep stage appropriate, but you have to be honest. Like
it's okay to be scared. Yeah, it's okay to be angry,
But now what do we do with that? So the
best thing that you can do when you're diagnosed is
get with others that have been there, done that, because
your best friends, your family, your sisters that have the
chills every time I say this, This is why I'm
(23:39):
here right, I needed this. Yeah, And if you were
diagnosed tomorrow, God forbid. You know you're going to walk
in this place and you're going to be met And
I know you have a great circle of girlfriends, but
you're going to be met here with a different form
of family and bond that those people can never equate to.
(24:01):
It's not better, it's different.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Okay, So let's talk about those other people. So there's
going to be people in your life. You're going to
go to them. You're going to tell them I have cancer.
Now it's now I hear that news. What is what
is the best way I can support you? I can
support this person I know and I love through there
(24:25):
through this new diagnosis for them.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
That's a great question, and I wish more people would
ask it. You know, the best thing you can do
is to just say, oh my gosh, I'm I hate
hearing this for you, and I can't imagine how you
must feel. I'm here for you, and I don't know
what that looks like. And I may not say or
do everything right, but I'm here for you. And you
(24:52):
leave it at that, because what happens is people try
to identify and I'm guilty of this, I've done this.
Is we say, oh, you know, I know, like my
aunt was diagnosed and this and that, and people start
rambling because they're trying to find the right thing to
say to Really was one of my little girls, one
of my daughter's wife. I was taken Olivia to the
middle school. I was in chemo and one of the
(25:14):
little girls we were carpulling and here I was driving
kids ballheaded to school and the little girl said to me, oh,
miss Carrie, you know you've a good ballheaded. My auntie
had cancer and then she was good and then it
came back and I went draw bones and she died.
But people, even adults, everyone, no, don't say that. Adults
say stuff like that because they're trying to show you
(25:36):
like they identify or they empathize, and that's not the
way to do it. Just simply say, oh my gosh,
I hate to hear this for you, I'm here and
whatever you do. Don't you just say, hey, call me
if you need anything, because guess what.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
No, I'm not going to call you.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Yeah, you just show up. You know, practical things such
as give them a quick caller a text and say, hey,
you know what, I'm headed to the grocery store. What
can I pick up for you? Can I bring you
and your family dinner? Do you need bottled water? What
can I do? One of the greatest gifts one of
my guy friends brought me was cases of water.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Simple. He didn't ask, he showed up. He put it
on my doorstep, and then he texted me and I said, well, fool,
I can't pick it up, bring it in. Yeah. Really,
it's just it's don't say call me if you need me.
That's my biggest thing. Don't say that we're not calling.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yeah, yeah, it's because it's hard to ask for help too.
I mean like for anybody, for anybody through anything, it's
hard to ask for help.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
So if you want to help, just do.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
It right and don't offer it if you can't do it. Yes,
since I also had lifelong friends who I adore to
this day, who were nowhere around when I was in
treatment and I was real upset and heard by that
and angry, and I had to confront them after. I
was like, Okay, look, I need to keep it real
with you because I love you and I can't harbor this.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I'm mad.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Where were you? I could have used to hug, I
could have used a visit and they said to me,
you know what, I couldn't see you like that. Yeah,
that's an average person are going to be that, Oh
you couldn't handle it. But I'm the work. But they're
feelings their valid too, right, So because what it does
is it causes them to face their own mortality.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Oh so hard, so hard. It's it's a lot, it is.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
It's it's an overwhelming, daunting thing and it happens to
everybody around you. Absolutely once once diagnosis happens, it's it's
going to affect everyone in your circle and that ripple effect,
and not everybody handles it the right way or even
no one knows how.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
So if you no one knows the right way, right,
what is the right way? And what might have been well,
you know, well received by me might not be well
received by the next person.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, yeah, so I think I already know the answer
to this question. You were diagnosed in twenty twelve, twenty twelve,
and you started the Care Project.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
One year later, Right, it's crazy. I know you're crazy.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
I just saw a need and I just started doing it.
And then I was gonna ask, yeah, what.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Might you do it so quickly? Or you know, because
you're still in treatment in a year, right.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
I was just finishing radiation. Yeah. So when I was
diagnosed ten days later, I had amaseectomy within three and
a half four weeks, I started chemotherapy. As soon as
I finished chemo, I had a month off, and then
I started radiation for five weeks. So it was right
after radiation because I remember the first fundraiser I held,
I was still burned from treatment, like, oh, yeah, crazy,
(28:46):
But I was meeting people in the waiting rooms that
needed help, and I started doing some digging and I
saw there wasn't at that time, there wasn't tangible help
for financial help. There was help where you could go
to a support group here or there, or you could
do like knitting with Nancy Tuesday at ten. But I'm sorry,
I worked full time and I don't knit. I'm not
doing that. Yeah, I need to talk to other people
(29:08):
that are around my age, that are around you know,
the personality whatever, maybe.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I'm all or also you know a work worker, you
know somebody.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Yeah, yeah, So I I just so. Then I did that,
and then I think one of my friends was like,
you might want to start like a nonprofit. I was like,
how do I do that? I don't know. I'll call
legal Zoom. So one of my coworkers actually said you
need to go do that, and he sent me two
one hundred dollars bills in the mail and it just
said go do that thing. And so I called legal
(29:38):
Zoom and I said help me, and I incorporated. So
we became a public charity in twenty fourteen, but I
started in twenty thirteen.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, let's let's talk about the Care Project mission. So
let's talk about that mission. I know what you do.
I've seen you in the world. I've seen how many.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
People you have helped.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
What do you think the focus of the mission is
right now? For that, I feel like your focus has
changed and not changed, but like it's ebbed and flowed.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Right.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
It started as this and now it's grown to this. Right,
So where does what is that mission like? Now?
Speaker 4 (30:15):
Well, you know, it started out where it was just
about financial and then I realized, you know, what, people
really need to talk with each other. And but I
didn't want to support group. And by that, I you know,
it's just my ignorance. Is I thought bad Lifetime movies
or Hallmark movies, and you know, it's like they're all
sitting around like and I was like, that's not me.
I mean it might be, but right now it's not me,
(30:37):
you know. And so I thought, I'm not going to
start a support grook, I'm going to start a social club.
So a group of survivors that are coming together and
just laying it out right, just keep it real. If
you need to cuss, cry vin, whatever it is, I'm
here for it. It's peer to peer. It's not some
professional that is hosting it and telling you you have
(31:01):
to remain positive. There are agencies and groups that people
have had that experience where they're told, oh, we don't
do that here, we don't cuss and cry, we keep
it positive. No, we do whatever you need.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
We cuss and cry because sometimes you got to get
that out.
Speaker 4 (31:17):
Sometimes you do, and you know what, you got to
do it here because when you're at home, you're trying
to keep it normal for your kids, you're trying to
not take it out on your spouse or whatever, so
you can come here and be with people that get it.
So it started out with that, but my mission was
always My thing was I didn't want to replicate what
any other agency did, and I didn't want to duplicate
stuff like I'm not going to domaseectomy bras because somebody
(31:39):
else does. I'm not going to be a whig bank
because someone else does that. I was a one man
show when I started, so doing it while working from
home and answering the phone and trying to help people.
So it was just about the bills. And then I realized, oh,
I want to do this, I want to do that.
Long story short, don't do that. Don't do that because
you can't do it all. You can't do it all.
(32:01):
And I don't want to replace other organizations. I want
to fill in the gaps. Over the years, we have
filled in the gaps right. So one is we focus
on men as part of our passion right, and so
we help locals within the Inlann Empire with financial assistance.
But then we also have our MENTU program which is
nationwide and so funds that are raised specifically for that
(32:25):
program are used for men across the United States. So
we do that. We have our Adam's Angels grant, which
I realized there was a need. You know, people die
from breast cancer and kids are left behind, and those
kids need a little something, and so we created Adam's
Angels just what a year and a half ago, two
(32:45):
years ago, and so we are able to give grants
to kids who lose mom or dad to breast cancer.
We do compression sleeves for managing lymphadeva lymphedema, which a
lot of people do after miasectomy. Like I said, and
my lymphnos were involved. I had twenty eight lymphnos removed
out of my left arm, which means it now swells
because the lymph fluid can't drain. So I should normally
(33:08):
have a sleeve on right now, which helps compress and
get rid of that fluid. So it's just been like
filling in the gaps. We Also, I noticed there's a
gap in support for those that are terminally ill. You know,
we're not all going to make it, and some people
are going to die from breast cancer. And so I
found over the years I got really burnt out talking
(33:31):
with the newly diagnosed and trying to console them and
trying to love on them. And Diana, my counterpart was
just she just loses love and she's perfect in that role.
And as people were transitioning and starting to like prepare
to die, I found that I was being called in
more and more. And I sat with my dad when
he was dying in twenty sixteen, and so I just thought,
(33:55):
I have to learn more about this biologically, you know,
like what do are our bodies do? Like what is
the process? You know, we labor to give birth, our
bodies labor to die, and that looks a certain way,
and it's scary to those of us that don't know
what that looks like. So I decided to become a
certified death dula. So now I'm a death doer for
(34:16):
those who are preparing to die, I walk beside them,
I help them prepare in a multitude of ways. And
so that's another thing that we do. So it's it's
kind of a lot, but it really boils down to
emotional support, financial support. We love to give out resources.
We believe that everybody can't get everything from one place.
(34:38):
And so if there's a client here that needs their
electric bill paid and we pay it and they mention,
you know, I really need some mseectomy bras or a prosthesis,
We're like, okay, let's send you to the Pink Ribbon Place.
You need a wig. Hey, Michelle's Place or Pink Ribbon
Place can help you. Oh you live in Corona, Norco.
And you need a support group called Support Sisters. So
(35:00):
we are not in competition. We are in collaboration with
all the other nonprofits around here.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
That's that is beautiful and that basically answered my next question.
Because if someone is diagnosed they're having trouble paying for something,
you know that there is a need.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
You know, we know what the Care.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Project does, but they could also come to you and
you're willing to say, hey, I don't have that for you,
but I know who can get that for you.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
Yes, absolutely. That's why it was super important on our website,
which is very basic, and we made it that way
for the newly diagnosed who are like, oh my gosh,
what do I do? You don't want to be convoluted,
deep seated website, but our resource page is shocked full
because if you go to a lot of others, you'll
see they don't have resources. And I'm like, why aren't
you sharing? Share?
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Sharing is carrying and that's what and as what the
Care Project does.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
On that note, oh my.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Gosh, You've had so many beautiful tidbits of knowledge that
you've already you know, given us. But is there if
there's three things three things from this conversation today, which
I still feel like we should have a separate conversation
on other things, But what would be those three big
takeaways that you think our listeners are viewers on YouTube
(36:20):
should walk away from this conversation with.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
I think you really can't take your health for granted. Right.
I was in the best shape of my mind, of
my life. I was strong, I was vibrant, I was
you know, active, and yet I rolled over in bed
and found two tumors that had probably been growing for
three four five years. Yes, you know, so it doesn't
Age doesn't matter, gender doesn't matter. Your health history matters.
(36:49):
But most breast cancer is not genetic, so I don't
want to hear from anybody. Well, it doesn't run in
my family, so I don't really need to worry about it.
Yes you do, Yes you do. I grew up in Rialto,
California for a certain amount of years and the water
was tainted. And if you google it, there's a whole article.
And I grew up drinking tap water, drinking out of
the hose. Everyone laughs about it. Oh gen x, we
drank out of the hose and live through it. Yeah, barely.
(37:12):
There's a whole group of people in Rialto that have
been diagnosed with a ton of different cancers, all from
that water contamination.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
Really, just I say, know your normal, know your history,
but don't rely on it only self exams. You know
you're in the shower anyway. It doesn't have to be
real scientific, just to know your normal. If you feel
something fill the other side, is it symmetrical, because it
could be and there's probably nothing, but went in doubt,
(37:40):
get checked out, period and tell a friend that men
get breast cancer.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
I like that. Absolutely, tell a friend.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
Go it alone, don't go it alone, don't go it alone,
don't try to be billy badass. You need to get help.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
I feel like, and that's something I almost say it.
I think I say it in every episode.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
I'm not gonna lie advocate, have an advocate for you.
So I mean it's literally the underlining I think premise
of this podcast is to be able to advocate for
not only yourself, but to have somebody come with you
to advocate on your behalf.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Because when you go to these doctor's.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Appointments, you're not going to remember everything they told you.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
You know what it sounds like. After a while, you
hear the words, and then you're and you're trying to concentrate,
but your brain is going what And then all you
hear is wanh wah wah wah wah. And you leave
there and you think, okay, I got it, and you
get home and someone asks you and you're.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Like, I don't remember what they said.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
We always tell everybody that comes here, take somebody with
you that's going to take notes, like good old fashioned
write it down notes. I don't want to put your
phone down, write it down, because when you write it down,
you remember it.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Yeah, I'm old school like that too.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
No, I.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Did that for work. I still have done.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
There are only so many notes in this phone. Everything
else is written.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
Down for bid if you lose the phone, right.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Yeah, what the heck? See?
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Yeah, my husband Chris would say, you're crazy. Everything is
in his digital world.
Speaker 4 (39:15):
I think he has half of my stuff in his
digital world. Definitely, what's my password to YouTube?
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Again?
Speaker 1 (39:22):
For those who don't know, my husband has helped produce
her podcast.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
So yeah, yeah, they're good friends as well. I adore you.
I where can everybody find?
Speaker 3 (39:33):
You?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Find your resources? Everything? Tell them all things carry Madrid.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
Thecare Project Inc. Dot org, The Care Project Inc. I
n C. You have to put it there. You will
find everything on our website and then we're on social
media The Care Project Inc. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok. I think
that's it because I'm too old to be doing all
those other things. But you know, we've got we've got
a great book that we love to give patients that
(39:59):
are diagnosed. It's called Handle with Care. I have to
look at it every time because I forget. But it's
called Handle with Care or your Breast cancer Support Group
in a book. When you're diagnosed, a lot of people
want to give you these big, thick autobiographies. We don't
want to read all that. We can't read all that.
But this is like a little tiny handbook and you
can flip to oh, chemotherapy, let me see what they
(40:20):
have to say. So it's like ten different survivors in here, male, female, religious,
non religious, whatever, and you can get their take, their perspective,
their coping mechanisms. And there's a great chapter in here
called what Not to Say. It's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Yeah, it's a good chapter.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
So yeah, we were everybody should read that. That's breast
cancer or no breast cancer, no cancer.
Speaker 4 (40:46):
Read it absolutely absolutely. And then we have a big
zoompathon a walk coming up October nineteenth at the Tyler Galleria.
So we're going to be out there with tons of
information if anyone want needs support, wants to come out.
So but the care Projectinc. Dot org is our website.
You can reach us through there.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
That's perfect. And you have a podcast. Are you still
doing the podcast?
Speaker 4 (41:07):
We haven't recorded in probably a couple of years now,
but I'm hoping to get back to it real soon.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
I had I was going to say there's evergreen topics
on there, so people can.
Speaker 4 (41:17):
Go, oh for sure, Yeah, okay, that's what we're sure.
And I keep telling Chris we're going to get back
to it because it's there's been a lot, and I
have a lot more to share now because now I'm
caring for my mom with dementia and I'm recovering from
spinal surgery and that's a lot. So again, it's about
keeping it real and sharing your feelings. So we got
a lots to talk.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
About it, yes, And they can support all your events
you do throughout the year as well, So thank you, Carrie.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
It's always so good.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
I only get to see you when we're working or
doing so I don't get to see you nearly enough.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
Pool party or something.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
Let's have a pool.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Party before the summer. Well, the summer's over, it's still
we're in California. We can make it work.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
Thank you so much for always just everything that you
and Chris do to support I will thank you more
than you know.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
And I got to give love to IHP because honest
to god, they're doing the Lord's work with this, with
this show and with so many other resources out there,
they want just education out there as much as we
can from people who live in the Inland Empire, who
are going through it, who are in it, who are
living it, who.
Speaker 4 (42:23):
Are simp That's so important because people need to see
other people that look like them, that sound like them,
that they can relate to. That even real, that's a little.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
That's and that's fine. Sometimes the smartest people are the
ones that cust the.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
Most they day. Yeah, no, thank you guys so much.
I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Awesome, Thank you again.
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Covering Your Health
with Evelini revis presented by IEHP So happy to have
you here. You know, each October we nationally recognize Breast
Cancer Awareness Month, where we encourage both women and men
to get screened for breast cancer. We uplift stories of
(00:22):
survival and amplify the voices that are lost but never forgotten.
And today we welcome my friend Carrie Madrid to Covering
your Health. She's going to share about her cancer journey
and how it inspired her to start a wonderful nonprofit,
The Care Project, a Riverside based nonprofit supporting those diagnosed
(00:42):
with breast cancer by providing educational resources and monetary support
during and after treatment. Our conversation goes deep into the
importance of keeping up with your own health, Some signs
to look for, what questions to ask your primary care physics.
We definitely talk about her own cancer journey. I have
(01:04):
heard her call it her cancer extravaganza, and I cannot
wait for you to meet her and really fall in
love with her. Her mindset and her perspective and her motivation.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
To inspire others to just really never give up.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Welcome to Covering Your Health a wellness podcast dedicated to
covering all areas of living a healthy and happy lifestyle,
from healthy hearts to understanding health plans and everything in between.
Each episode will provide you with a better understanding of
managing your health, preventative care, and staying on the right
path for your family's wellness journey. The Covering Your Health
(01:44):
podcast is presented by i EhP. Now your host Evelina Revez.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Hi, Carrie, Welcome to the show. How are you?
Speaker 4 (01:55):
I am, okay, how are you?
Speaker 2 (01:58):
It's really great to see you. It really is great
to see you.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I love starting a show like you and I know
each other, but nobody, not nobody. There's a lot of
people that know you, but there may be a lot
of new faces that have never ever met you.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Please tell us about you.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
That's a loading question, Okay, tell us.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
About finding your passion for what you're doing. Now, where
did this come from?
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Right? So, at forty one, I rolled over in bed
one day and I thought I rolled onto like the
TV remote or something, and then I remembered I didn't
have a TV in my bedroom, so it couldn't be that,
and I was half asleep and anyways, I got up,
used a restroom, went back to bed, woke up late
later that morning, rolled over in bed, and I determined,
(02:42):
or I discovered I had two big lumps on my
left breast. And I had just turned forty one, so
I hadn't had my first mammogram yet I was due.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yes, yes, so my first.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Mammogram confirmed as stage three diagnosis. I had two tumors,
two different types of cancer. One non aggressive and kind
of you know, very slow growing. So that was good.
But the large one was the most common form, which
was infiltrating doctor, and it was involving lymph nodes already,
(03:13):
and so it was stage three.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
So fast forward. I go into treatment, and long story short,
I meet all kinds of other people going through breast
cancer and in chatting with them in the waiting room
while you're waiting to go get zapped with radiation or
you're sitting in an infusion chair for six hours getting chemotherapy,
you know, I talked to everybody. So I was talking
(03:39):
to people and I found other I was a divorced,
single mom, and I found others that were choosing between
one hundred dollars copay for treatment or one hundred dollars
in groceries for their teenagers. And my girls, you know,
we're twelve and fifteen, and my son was twenty two
and off in the Air Force, and I was living
check to check, and so I with me that they
(04:01):
were struggling. I just happened to have a better medical plan,
so I didn't have all those cops and I had
my dad alive then, who said, I know, copes aren't
in your budget. I got you. And I had other
family members that said, you know what, here's a thousand
dollars used towards copes or whatever you need.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
You know, and so yeah, I have you had a
community to help you.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I did at first. I had had a community financially,
I didn't have one so much emotionally. And so when
you factor those two things together between really sort of
lacking this emotional support. And I say that from others
that have been there, done that, right. So people rally
around you and they love you and they say all
(04:44):
the right things, but they don't really know what you're
going through because they've been there, you know. So that's
where it all stemmed from. I just saw a need
and I just am kind of a fixer to a fault,
and I was like, Okay, I got to do something
about this, and so that's how the care Project was born.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Wow wow. And so you had a regular day job.
What do you do?
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Yeah, so I've worked full time. I still work full
time for a medical company that's based in the Bay
Area of California. So I work as a conference coordinator
for a catastrophic case management company. So I was fortunate
enough to be working from home, and so I was
able to kind of work through treatment and take the
minimal amount of time off work. So like I only
(05:30):
took six or seven days off from mymasectomy and then
I worked out of my recliner, wrapped up. I know,
it's nuts, and I think about it now and I'm like,
nobody should ever do that.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I do that exactly, but yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Yeah, a lot of lessons learned. So so I had
good insurance. I still have good insurance. But even with that,
it's you know, I'm a Cheiser Permanente patient. And what
I didn't know then that I known fourteen years later
is that there's different health play. There's different coverages, right,
and so you just think everyone next to you in
(06:04):
the same hospital is getting the same coverage and they're not.
They're not. And so I saw these people that were
choosing between cops and I was like, wait, you have
one hundred dollars copay for radiation. Radiation is every day
Monday through Friday, you know, for X amount of weeks
usually minimum three to five weeks, and chemotherapy. Can you
(06:25):
know your regimen can vary. So that's really where it
all stemmed from. So, yeah, I still work full time
because I need my benefit.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, I gotta have the benefits.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
So mom of three, very busy, work from home, You're
going through all of these things. What inspired you to
stay strong and positive through all of that.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Well, you know how they say when something traumatic hits,
its fight or flight, So for me, it was fight.
Was dating somebody at the time. It was getting kind
of serious, but he didn't take it well and kind
of couldn't handle it, and so it was kind of
a blessing in disguise, but a rough patch that he
(07:11):
was like, yeah, I'm out of here. But had my coolds,
I had my sn and so you know, my son
was I had my son at eighteen and he was
off being successful in the Air Force. He was in
Korea at the time. Serving, and my girls were thirteen
and fifteen, and I was the booster president at North
(07:32):
High School for the girls' basketball program. So I had
like thirty two basketball daughters that were looking at me
going through this. And I remember the day I got
my results from my biopsy. One of my best friends, Lupe,
was with me and we were sitting in the surgeon's
office and he says, well, I have some bad news
(07:53):
for you. He said, it's not good, and I said, well,
I already know that, Like, tell me what it is.
Can you imagine that me saying that to a surgeon
like I already know, Just tell me. So my friend said,
after he gives us all the bad news, she said,
excuse me, doc, and she looks at me and she says,
how can you be so calm? And I said, without thinking,
(08:16):
this just came out of my mouth. I said, you
know what, I don't know, but I have thirty two
basketball daughters and my own two watching me. And maybe
this is just a responsibility or something like that given
to me to show others how to deal with this.
I don't know, but whatever it is, we got to
just do it. And so I feel like because I
(08:36):
really didn't have like a husband or a boyfriend, so
to speak, to like lean on and fall apart too.
Like I just went into like survivor mode and I
had all these kids depending on me, And it sounds
so silly, but basketball was my life at that time.
It sports, it really was. And so the girls team
was going to state championship for the first time. I'm like,
(08:57):
I got to go to state with that. I mean,
I orchestrated and scheduled my meseectomy around finals. The surgeon
was like, yeah, we need I could get you in
next week. I was like, no, I need like another
two weeks. He's like, no, you need to go in now.
And I was like, oh my gosh. So I just
I you know, I didn't have any delusions of grandeur.
(09:18):
I didn't think I was going to go start a nonprofit,
write a book, have a podcast, none of that. I
just knew, I guess I have to go through this.
And to be honest, there was a lot of weather
things that I sort of like survived through, like childhood.
So by the time I got to this, it was
just like, of course I have read what else could
(09:41):
I deal with? And so I just I chose laughter
and lip glass was my silly mantra that I was
going to go through it. And my best friend said,
I don't care if you go bald. I don't care
if you lose your breasts. Here's what you're gonna do.
You're gonna keep your totails painted and you're going to
keep your lip gloss on. That's right, okay, And that's
what I did, so.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I don't do that. I could do that.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
I could do that, and my basketball girls, when I
was ready to like fall apart or having a really
rough time from chemo, I would inevitably get some random
text message from one of the girls on the team.
Not even my own kids, right because they're just like, oh,
she's fine, you know, she's fine. But the basketball girls
would text me or coach would text me and say, hey,
(10:23):
you got this. I know you're hurting right now, but
you got this, and it would just be just enough
to like, okay, I got to keep going, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
You know, and it will. It feels like you were
part of that team. You know the team aspect. Any
you know, when you're coaching someone on a basketball court
or any other sport, you're telling them you're building their confidence, right,
You're like, hey, you got this.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
I know you can make that dunk. I know you
can do this. I know you can do that.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
It's kind of like it was kind of a great
blessing that you had that that community of team sport,
you know, and camaraderie to help you get through that
part too. But what I was going to point out
is that I think the other part of you being
so strong is I think there was probably something in
(11:12):
you that realized this is bigger than me, that's going
to pull me through this.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Yeah you're gonna make me cry. Yeah, yeah, there was.
And I didn't know what it was. I just knew that.
That's what I just said to her. I don't know,
I can't explain it, but it is what it is,
and that's the story of my life. And here we go.
And she looked at me and said, oh God, do
we have to like pink now? And I said, oh
(11:39):
lord no, So yeah, yes, there was something there was.
I always tell people there was just an overwhelming sense
of peace, even in that chaotic moment, and it was
almost supernatural, like I couldn't I don't want to sound
all woo woo, but but it was. That's my truth.
(12:01):
It really was. And I remember looking down. I had
my hands folded in my lap and looking down and
I was like this because I think I was in shock,
but I didn't even know it at the time. I
was just like, Yeah, come on, let's go.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
It all hit me later, Yeah, I'm oh, my gosh,
I'm sure. I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Okay, So let's talk about some of the signs before diagnosis.
So you said you felt like you rolled over and
you felt like you like you felt something.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
On you, right, Was that the only sign that you had?
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Did you have any other symptoms leading up that you
did not pay attention to?
Speaker 4 (12:33):
I did? I did. And the only thing I can
think of is I remember, you know, as a mom,
you're always rushing to take a shower, right, There's never
those long, let's get ready on Friday night showers anymore.
So I remember rushing in to take a shower and
like ripping my shirt off, and I like kind of
stumbled and I hit my left breast on like the
towel bar, right, and I was like and I looked
(12:56):
down and I was like, geez, that hurt. And when
I did that, there was a little bit of discharge
from my left nickel but it wasn't like milky, and
it wasn't like bloody. It wasn't yellow or brown. It
was like almost like the consistency of sticky rice. Really,
what the heck is that? And it was kind of
itchy after and I just thought, well, I just smacked it.
(13:18):
You know, I still had a period at the time,
so I thought, well, maybe my period's starting, and it's
you know, formal what you blow it off?
Speaker 2 (13:25):
You do. We're women, we do that. We get a
lot of symptoms for a lot of things.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Yeah, right, right right, don't get me started on that.
So but anyways, I so if I think back, I
would say that that's probably the only thing other than that,
you know, I if I would have stopped and done
self breast exams, I probably would have found those two lumps,
because one was like huge and it was all the
way on the side, which is often the case for people.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
So you're thinking your general area breast when you think
of breast cancer, but it isn't. It's such a wide
sloth of your upper body.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
It is, and I am naturally wide. You know, some
people their breasts are more narrow. For me, I'm wide,
you know. I always say I'm like a linebacker, but
I'm very wide, and the funny thing and will not
funny funny, not funny, how hat, but funny is funny ironic.
Nine years prior, I had a breast reduction because every
woman on my dad's side of the family, myself included
(14:23):
my daughters, have just very large chests and it was
cumbersome and it caroused headaches and back aches and neck aches,
and so I had a reduction, and so it probably
helped save my life, the surgeon said, because I was
able to actually feel it when I rolled over, whereas
before I might not have. Oh wow, so that's the
only thing I can think of beforehand. There might be
(14:44):
something else. But you know, I was in such a
rush all the time between work and basketball that I
never slowed down long enough to take like a long,
proper shower and self exam and all this.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah, oh yeah, I get it.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
So it's estimated that one in eight women will be
diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
In twenty twenty five, I can't believe this.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Twenty eight hundred men in the US will receive their
invasive breast cancer diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Let's talk about that. I know you've got done.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
A lot of work with a lot of amazing men
who are cancer warriors.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Tell me about that stigma that's involved.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I know that you know what you've talked to it
because you've met so many of these people, And how
can we encourage our men to also get checked for this?
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Right? It is a staggering statistic, and I like to
break it down the same way as it's one in
eight women, it's one in seven hundred and twenty six
men will be diagnosed in their lifetime. And so I've
heard it said, but that's only one percent of breast cancer,
Like do we really need to worry about it?
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
But think about it. If that one percent is your husband,
your brother, your father, your uncle, your grandfather, your son,
how are you going to feel it is just as
important for that one in seven hundred and twenty six
as it is for one in eight. And the reason
I became so passionate about this is when I started
the Care Project. Actually before that. You know, when you're diagnosed,
(16:14):
they tell you don't google anything, don't google your survival statistics,
and you do. You do. So I was like stage three,
Oh my gosh, Like, what are my survival statistics. The
next thing I googled was do man get breast cancer?
And the reason I did that is because I have
three brothers. I don't have any sisters, and I was
concerned about them because, also not being educated, I'm thinking, well,
(16:36):
if I have it, you know it must run in
the family. But actually, most breast cancer does not run
in the family. It's not genetic. Most of it is sporadic,
which is what mine was. But I googled that and
I found the statistic and I started doing research, and
I realized in searching for other resources for myself and others,
(16:57):
that I was meeting in those treatment centers. Yeah, nobody
includes men. They don't include it in their marketing. They
don't include it in the hospitals. When you step off
the elevator and you see everything pink and it says
women get your mammograms. Women one in eight women. There's
nothing that says, by the way, men, you're not exempt.
(17:17):
And I am a big mouth, and I was like,
I fight for the underdog, and someone needs to represent
these people, and that could be my brother. So that's
where it began. And so since the inception of the
Care Project, it has always been our mission to support
not just women diagnosed, but men, anybody diagnosed with breast cancer. Listen,
humans all have breast tissue, which means every human can
(17:39):
get breast cancer, and they do. So I've met tons
of men all over the country that have been diagnosed.
I've lost several men to metastatic breast cancer, the same
as my female friends. And unfortunately a lot of them
have a poor prognosis because they're diagnosed later because they
just don't know. They don't know, So what do we do?
(18:00):
We need to tell them. We as women, are usually
the drivers to our husbands, to our fathers, to our sons,
to our spouses. Hey, man, get checked out. So the
same way that women need to know their normal, men
need to know their normal. You're already in the shower,
you're washing your body. You should be washing your chest.
Know what's normal and what's not? And went in doubt?
(18:20):
Get checked out?
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yeah I love that, went in doubt? Get checked out?
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Yeah, How did you talk with your family when this
first all came to be, when you first got diagnosis?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Who did you go? I know you were you had
a friend.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
With you or yeah that first year I had my
best friend with me and we left the doctor's office
and she said, now what are we going to do?
I said, well, first we're going to go get something
to eat. I'm gonna eat whatever I want because all
I think in my mind is like all the movies
where you see these people throwing up profusely from chemo.
And I was like, Okay, We're going to go eat
(18:56):
while I can enjoy it, and.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Then we're going to hold it a lot this meal.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Yeah, and then we're going to go to the mall,
which I hate them all. Neither one of us are
big shoppers. And I'm like, We're going to go to
the mall. I'm going to buy the most expensive lip
glasses I can find because as a single mom, I
always bought the cheap ones, right, So I was like, no,
I'm going to get all the glass I want. And
I said, but I got to make one phone call.
So I actually was pretty estranged from my mom. But
(19:21):
I couldn't. I knew I couldn't call my dad because
I you know, he's a super macho guy, and I'm
thinking I don't want to talk to like, Okay, let
me just call my mom. So I called her out
of the blue. She was probably like, oh god, what
And I said, are you sitting down? And she said,
uh no, but I can be. And I said, okay,
sit down. I need to tell you this and I
need you to just listen. And I said, I was
(19:44):
just diagnosed with breast cancer. I need you to tell
my brothers. I need you to call my dad. So
even though they were divorced, they were friends. And I said,
you need to call my dad and he can tell
his side of the family, but also tell them this.
I'm with Loup. I'm fine, and I need time. Please
don't call me. I'll call you. And I think I
might have even hung up on her, but it's all
(20:07):
a blur, you know. And so then because my concern
was my kids, right, my kids, My son was in
Korea and I had no way to contact him other
than through Facebook, right, So I remember he was the
only person I told that I had found these lumps,
and so I had to get online and tell him
(20:28):
through fatal and there was this big time difference, and
so I had to tell them. So I sat the
girls down when I got home with Loup, and I
just said, okay, look, I have some news and I
don't know how this is going to go, but it's
going to get a little scary, but I'm going to
be okay. Yeah, and we're just going to take it
day by day. And they just kind of looked at me.
I mean, twelve and fifteen, what are they going to do?
(20:51):
And you know, we just pressed through. So that that
was hard. That was really hard. But eventually I took
phone calls from my brothers, but I just it's hard
because you know, when you're not real close with them,
like I love my brothers. I know they love me,
but we're not like super close, and so then there's
this big intimate thing that you have to say, I
(21:11):
have cancer and you they've looked at me like, oh,
she's the strong one, and here I have to be
not the strong one.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
I wasn't.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
I wasn't And I don't recommend that people. I don't
recommend that.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Okay, speaking of speaking of what advice can you give
for someone who maybe is even yet to have that conversation?
Speaker 4 (21:32):
Keep it real, yeah, keep it real. Listen, express how
you feel if you are scared to death, Say I
am scared to death. I think I'm gonna be okay,
but I don't know, And maybe tomorrow I'm going to
feel like so like I got this, and other days
I'm going to feel like, oh my gosh, I can't,
like you need to openly talk about it. And I
(21:55):
will tell you this, as a parent, we try to
keep everything normal for our kids. We try to not
panic them. We try that's our built in response.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
You're right, but I.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
Will tell you that you actually need to balance that
with the reality of how you're feeling. And the reason
is this, one day they're gonna face some tragedy, some trauma,
some scare something, and they need to know that it's
okay to be vulnerable and to talk about how they're
feeling versus bottling it up. And I have the chill
(22:31):
saying that because I had daughters that were struggling emotionally
and I didn't know because all I did was put
on this strong front. So they then thought that they
needed to be strong through everything they faced instead of saying,
I'm really struggling mentally, emotionally, physically. We need to keep
(22:54):
it real with our kids. And I will tell you
one other thing is I've had some metastatic terminal pace
that kept telling their teens and their young kids, I'm
going to be fine. I'm going to be fine knowing
full while they were going to die, and they left
those children feeling betrayed, sad, frustrated, angry, all the things
because they didn't be honest with them. And you can
(23:17):
keep stage appropriate, but you have to be honest. Like
it's okay to be scared. Yeah, it's okay to be angry,
But now what do we do with that? So the
best thing that you can do when you're diagnosed is
get with others that have been there, done that, because
your best friends, your family, your sisters that have the
chills every time I say this, This is why I'm
(23:39):
here right, I needed this. Yeah, And if you were
diagnosed tomorrow, God forbid. You know you're going to walk
in this place and you're going to be met And
I know you have a great circle of girlfriends, but
you're going to be met here with a different form
of family and bond that those people can never equate to.
(24:01):
It's not better, it's different.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
Okay, So let's talk about those other people. So there's
going to be people in your life. You're going to
go to them. You're going to tell them I have cancer.
Now it's now I hear that news. What is what
is the best way I can support you? I can
support this person I know and I love through there
(24:25):
through this new diagnosis for them.
Speaker 4 (24:28):
That's a great question, and I wish more people would
ask it. You know, the best thing you can do
is to just say, oh my gosh, I'm I hate
hearing this for you, and I can't imagine how you
must feel. I'm here for you, and I don't know
what that looks like. And I may not say or
do everything right, but I'm here for you. And you
(24:52):
leave it at that, because what happens is people try
to identify and I'm guilty of this, I've done this.
Is we say, oh, you know, I know, like my
aunt was diagnosed and this and that, and people start
rambling because they're trying to find the right thing to
say to Really was one of my little girls, one
of my daughter's wife. I was taken Olivia to the
middle school. I was in chemo and one of the
(25:14):
little girls we were carpulling and here I was driving
kids ballheaded to school and the little girl said to me, oh,
miss Carrie, you know you've a good ballheaded. My auntie
had cancer and then she was good and then it
came back and I went draw bones and she died.
But people, even adults, everyone, no, don't say that. Adults
say stuff like that because they're trying to show you
(25:36):
like they identify or they empathize, and that's not the
way to do it. Just simply say, oh my gosh,
I hate to hear this for you, I'm here and
whatever you do. Don't you just say, hey, call me
if you need anything, because guess what.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
No, I'm not going to call you.
Speaker 4 (25:51):
Yeah, you just show up. You know, practical things such
as give them a quick caller a text and say, hey,
you know what, I'm headed to the grocery store. What
can I pick up for you? Can I bring you
and your family dinner? Do you need bottled water? What
can I do? One of the greatest gifts one of
my guy friends brought me was cases of water.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Simple. He didn't ask, he showed up. He put it
on my doorstep, and then he texted me and I said, well, fool,
I can't pick it up, bring it in. Yeah. Really,
it's just it's don't say call me if you need me.
That's my biggest thing. Don't say that we're not calling.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yeah, yeah, it's because it's hard to ask for help too.
I mean like for anybody, for anybody through anything, it's
hard to ask for help.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
So if you want to help, just do.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
It right and don't offer it if you can't do it. Yes,
since I also had lifelong friends who I adore to
this day, who were nowhere around when I was in
treatment and I was real upset and heard by that
and angry, and I had to confront them after. I
was like, Okay, look, I need to keep it real
with you because I love you and I can't harbor this.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
I'm mad.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Where were you? I could have used to hug, I
could have used a visit and they said to me,
you know what, I couldn't see you like that. Yeah,
that's an average person are going to be that, Oh
you couldn't handle it. But I'm the work. But they're
feelings their valid too, right, So because what it does
is it causes them to face their own mortality.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Oh so hard, so hard. It's it's a lot, it is.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
It's it's an overwhelming, daunting thing and it happens to
everybody around you. Absolutely once once diagnosis happens, it's it's
going to affect everyone in your circle and that ripple effect,
and not everybody handles it the right way or even
no one knows how.
Speaker 4 (27:48):
So if you no one knows the right way, right,
what is the right way? And what might have been well,
you know, well received by me might not be well
received by the next person.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, yeah, so I think I already know the answer
to this question. You were diagnosed in twenty twelve, twenty twelve,
and you started the Care Project.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
One year later, Right, it's crazy. I know you're crazy.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
I just saw a need and I just started doing it.
And then I was gonna ask, yeah, what.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Might you do it so quickly? Or you know, because
you're still in treatment in a year, right.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
I was just finishing radiation. Yeah. So when I was
diagnosed ten days later, I had amaseectomy within three and
a half four weeks, I started chemotherapy. As soon as
I finished chemo, I had a month off, and then
I started radiation for five weeks. So it was right
after radiation because I remember the first fundraiser I held,
I was still burned from treatment, like, oh, yeah, crazy,
(28:46):
But I was meeting people in the waiting rooms that
needed help, and I started doing some digging and I
saw there wasn't at that time, there wasn't tangible help
for financial help. There was help where you could go
to a support group here or there, or you could
do like knitting with Nancy Tuesday at ten. But I'm sorry,
I worked full time and I don't knit. I'm not
doing that. Yeah, I need to talk to other people
(29:08):
that are around my age, that are around you know,
the personality whatever, maybe.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I'm all or also you know a work worker, you
know somebody.
Speaker 4 (29:17):
Yeah, yeah, So I I just so. Then I did that,
and then I think one of my friends was like,
you might want to start like a nonprofit. I was like,
how do I do that? I don't know. I'll call
legal Zoom. So one of my coworkers actually said you
need to go do that, and he sent me two
one hundred dollars bills in the mail and it just
said go do that thing. And so I called legal
(29:38):
Zoom and I said help me, and I incorporated. So
we became a public charity in twenty fourteen, but I
started in twenty thirteen.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, let's let's talk about the Care Project mission. So
let's talk about that mission. I know what you do.
I've seen you in the world. I've seen how many.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
People you have helped.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
What do you think the focus of the mission is
right now? For that, I feel like your focus has
changed and not changed, but like it's ebbed and flowed.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Right.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
It started as this and now it's grown to this. Right,
So where does what is that mission like? Now?
Speaker 4 (30:15):
Well, you know, it started out where it was just
about financial and then I realized, you know, what, people
really need to talk with each other. And but I
didn't want to support group. And by that, I you know,
it's just my ignorance. Is I thought bad Lifetime movies
or Hallmark movies, and you know, it's like they're all
sitting around like and I was like, that's not me.
I mean it might be, but right now it's not me,
(30:37):
you know. And so I thought, I'm not going to
start a support grook, I'm going to start a social club.
So a group of survivors that are coming together and
just laying it out right, just keep it real. If
you need to cuss, cry vin, whatever it is, I'm
here for it. It's peer to peer. It's not some
professional that is hosting it and telling you you have
(31:01):
to remain positive. There are agencies and groups that people
have had that experience where they're told, oh, we don't
do that here, we don't cuss and cry, we keep
it positive. No, we do whatever you need.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
We cuss and cry because sometimes you got to get
that out.
Speaker 4 (31:17):
Sometimes you do, and you know what, you got to
do it here because when you're at home, you're trying
to keep it normal for your kids, you're trying to
not take it out on your spouse or whatever, so
you can come here and be with people that get it.
So it started out with that, but my mission was
always My thing was I didn't want to replicate what
any other agency did, and I didn't want to duplicate
stuff like I'm not going to domaseectomy bras because somebody
(31:39):
else does. I'm not going to be a whig bank
because someone else does that. I was a one man
show when I started, so doing it while working from
home and answering the phone and trying to help people.
So it was just about the bills. And then I realized, oh,
I want to do this, I want to do that.
Long story short, don't do that. Don't do that because
you can't do it all. You can't do it all.
(32:01):
And I don't want to replace other organizations. I want
to fill in the gaps. Over the years, we have
filled in the gaps right. So one is we focus
on men as part of our passion right, and so
we help locals within the Inlann Empire with financial assistance.
But then we also have our MENTU program which is
nationwide and so funds that are raised specifically for that
(32:25):
program are used for men across the United States. So
we do that. We have our Adam's Angels grant, which
I realized there was a need. You know, people die
from breast cancer and kids are left behind, and those
kids need a little something, and so we created Adam's
Angels just what a year and a half ago, two
(32:45):
years ago, and so we are able to give grants
to kids who lose mom or dad to breast cancer.
We do compression sleeves for managing lymphadeva lymphedema, which a
lot of people do after miasectomy. Like I said, and
my lymphnos were involved. I had twenty eight lymphnos removed
out of my left arm, which means it now swells
because the lymph fluid can't drain. So I should normally
(33:08):
have a sleeve on right now, which helps compress and
get rid of that fluid. So it's just been like
filling in the gaps. We Also, I noticed there's a
gap in support for those that are terminally ill. You know,
we're not all going to make it, and some people
are going to die from breast cancer. And so I
found over the years I got really burnt out talking
(33:31):
with the newly diagnosed and trying to console them and
trying to love on them. And Diana, my counterpart was
just she just loses love and she's perfect in that role.
And as people were transitioning and starting to like prepare
to die, I found that I was being called in
more and more. And I sat with my dad when
he was dying in twenty sixteen, and so I just thought,
(33:55):
I have to learn more about this biologically, you know,
like what do are our bodies do? Like what is
the process? You know, we labor to give birth, our
bodies labor to die, and that looks a certain way,
and it's scary to those of us that don't know
what that looks like. So I decided to become a
certified death dula. So now I'm a death doer for
(34:16):
those who are preparing to die, I walk beside them,
I help them prepare in a multitude of ways. And
so that's another thing that we do. So it's it's
kind of a lot, but it really boils down to
emotional support, financial support. We love to give out resources.
We believe that everybody can't get everything from one place.
(34:38):
And so if there's a client here that needs their
electric bill paid and we pay it and they mention,
you know, I really need some mseectomy bras or a prosthesis,
We're like, okay, let's send you to the Pink Ribbon Place.
You need a wig. Hey, Michelle's Place or Pink Ribbon
Place can help you. Oh you live in Corona, Norco.
And you need a support group called Support Sisters. So
(35:00):
we are not in competition. We are in collaboration with
all the other nonprofits around here.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
That's that is beautiful and that basically answered my next question.
Because if someone is diagnosed they're having trouble paying for something,
you know that there is a need.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
You know, we know what the Care.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Project does, but they could also come to you and
you're willing to say, hey, I don't have that for you,
but I know who can get that for you.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
Yes, absolutely. That's why it was super important on our website,
which is very basic, and we made it that way
for the newly diagnosed who are like, oh my gosh,
what do I do? You don't want to be convoluted,
deep seated website, but our resource page is shocked full
because if you go to a lot of others, you'll
see they don't have resources. And I'm like, why aren't
you sharing? Share?
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Sharing is carrying and that's what and as what the
Care Project does.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
On that note, oh my.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Gosh, You've had so many beautiful tidbits of knowledge that
you've already you know, given us. But is there if
there's three things three things from this conversation today, which
I still feel like we should have a separate conversation
on other things, But what would be those three big
takeaways that you think our listeners are viewers on YouTube
(36:20):
should walk away from this conversation with.
Speaker 4 (36:24):
I think you really can't take your health for granted. Right.
I was in the best shape of my mind, of
my life. I was strong, I was vibrant, I was
you know, active, and yet I rolled over in bed
and found two tumors that had probably been growing for
three four five years. Yes, you know, so it doesn't
Age doesn't matter, gender doesn't matter. Your health history matters.
(36:49):
But most breast cancer is not genetic, so I don't
want to hear from anybody. Well, it doesn't run in
my family, so I don't really need to worry about it.
Yes you do, Yes you do. I grew up in Rialto,
California for a certain amount of years and the water
was tainted. And if you google it, there's a whole article.
And I grew up drinking tap water, drinking out of
the hose. Everyone laughs about it. Oh gen x, we
drank out of the hose and live through it. Yeah, barely.
(37:12):
There's a whole group of people in Rialto that have
been diagnosed with a ton of different cancers, all from
that water contamination.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
Really, just I say, know your normal, know your history,
but don't rely on it only self exams. You know
you're in the shower anyway. It doesn't have to be
real scientific, just to know your normal. If you feel
something fill the other side, is it symmetrical, because it
could be and there's probably nothing, but went in doubt,
(37:40):
get checked out, period and tell a friend that men
get breast cancer.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
I like that. Absolutely, tell a friend.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
Go it alone, don't go it alone, don't go it alone,
don't try to be billy badass. You need to get help.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
I feel like, and that's something I almost say it.
I think I say it in every episode.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
I'm not gonna lie advocate, have an advocate for you.
So I mean it's literally the underlining I think premise
of this podcast is to be able to advocate for
not only yourself, but to have somebody come with you
to advocate on your behalf.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
Because when you go to these doctor's.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Appointments, you're not going to remember everything they told you.
Speaker 4 (38:25):
You know what it sounds like. After a while, you
hear the words, and then you're and you're trying to concentrate,
but your brain is going what And then all you
hear is wanh wah wah wah wah. And you leave
there and you think, okay, I got it, and you
get home and someone asks you and you're.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Like, I don't remember what they said.
Speaker 4 (38:42):
We always tell everybody that comes here, take somebody with
you that's going to take notes, like good old fashioned
write it down notes. I don't want to put your
phone down, write it down, because when you write it down,
you remember it.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Yeah, I'm old school like that too.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
No, I.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Did that for work. I still have done.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
There are only so many notes in this phone. Everything
else is written.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
Down for bid if you lose the phone, right.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Yeah, what the heck? See?
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Yeah, my husband Chris would say, you're crazy. Everything is
in his digital world.
Speaker 4 (39:15):
I think he has half of my stuff in his
digital world. Definitely, what's my password to YouTube?
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Again?
Speaker 1 (39:22):
For those who don't know, my husband has helped produce
her podcast.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
So yeah, yeah, they're good friends as well. I adore you.
I where can everybody find?
Speaker 3 (39:33):
You?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Find your resources? Everything? Tell them all things carry Madrid.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
Thecare Project Inc. Dot org, The Care Project Inc. I
n C. You have to put it there. You will
find everything on our website and then we're on social
media The Care Project Inc. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok. I think
that's it because I'm too old to be doing all
those other things. But you know, we've got we've got
a great book that we love to give patients that
(39:59):
are diagnosed. It's called Handle with Care. I have to
look at it every time because I forget. But it's
called Handle with Care or your Breast cancer Support Group
in a book. When you're diagnosed, a lot of people
want to give you these big, thick autobiographies. We don't
want to read all that. We can't read all that.
But this is like a little tiny handbook and you
can flip to oh, chemotherapy, let me see what they
(40:20):
have to say. So it's like ten different survivors in here, male, female, religious,
non religious, whatever, and you can get their take, their perspective,
their coping mechanisms. And there's a great chapter in here
called what Not to Say. It's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Yeah, it's a good chapter.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
So yeah, we were everybody should read that. That's breast
cancer or no breast cancer, no cancer.
Speaker 4 (40:46):
Read it absolutely absolutely. And then we have a big
zoompathon a walk coming up October nineteenth at the Tyler Galleria.
So we're going to be out there with tons of
information if anyone want needs support, wants to come out.
So but the care Projectinc. Dot org is our website.
You can reach us through there.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
That's perfect. And you have a podcast. Are you still
doing the podcast?
Speaker 4 (41:07):
We haven't recorded in probably a couple of years now,
but I'm hoping to get back to it real soon.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
I had I was going to say there's evergreen topics
on there, so people can.
Speaker 4 (41:17):
Go, oh for sure, Yeah, okay, that's what we're sure.
And I keep telling Chris we're going to get back
to it because it's there's been a lot, and I
have a lot more to share now because now I'm
caring for my mom with dementia and I'm recovering from
spinal surgery and that's a lot. So again, it's about
keeping it real and sharing your feelings. So we got
a lots to talk.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
About it, yes, And they can support all your events
you do throughout the year as well, So thank you, Carrie.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
It's always so good.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
I only get to see you when we're working or
doing so I don't get to see you nearly enough.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
Pool party or something.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
Let's have a pool.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Party before the summer. Well, the summer's over, it's still
we're in California. We can make it work.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
Thank you so much for always just everything that you
and Chris do to support I will thank you more
than you know.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
And I got to give love to IHP because honest
to god, they're doing the Lord's work with this, with
this show and with so many other resources out there,
they want just education out there as much as we
can from people who live in the Inland Empire, who
are going through it, who are in it, who are
living it, who.
Speaker 4 (42:23):
Are simp That's so important because people need to see
other people that look like them, that sound like them,
that they can relate to. That even real, that's a little.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
That's and that's fine. Sometimes the smartest people are the
ones that cust the.
Speaker 4 (42:37):
Most they day. Yeah, no, thank you guys so much.
I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Awesome, Thank you again.
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