February 10, 2025 • 40 mins
In this episode of Demystifying Money, host Misty Lynch sits down with Donna Jean Kendrick to discuss navigating financial transitions after significant life changes. Donna shares personal experiences and practical advice to help others prepare for life's unpredictable moments.
Where to find Misty
Websites:
Instagram: @mistylynchcfp
- The importance of sharing personal stories to connect with others in similar situations.
- Strategies for managing finances after the loss of a spouse.
- The role of financial planning in supporting blended families.
- Practical steps for organizing digital assets and passwords.
- The significance of discussing and potentially implementing prenuptial agreements.
- Website: donnajeankendrick.com
- Instagram: @donnajeankendrick
- Facebook: @DonnaJeanKendrick
- YouTube: @donnajeankendrick
Where to find Misty
Websites:
Instagram: @mistylynchcfp
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the demist Defying Money podcast, where each week
you will hear unforgettable conversations with expert guests about success, money, business,
and small steps you can take to elevate your life
and wealth. Now here's your host, Misty Lynch.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hi, everybody, thank you so much for joining me for
this episode of Demistifying Money. I am joined by my
friend and fellow CSP Donna Kendrick. She is the founder
of Septon Financial and after losing her first husband suddenly
in twenty thirteen, she navigated widowhood with three young children,
and this inspired her to help support families in transition
(00:38):
using financial planning and those steps to kind of be
better prepared for all of the situations that sometimes life
brings our way. She's the host of the Wisdom and
Wealth podcast and author of a Guide to Widowhood and
a guide for blended Families.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Thank you so much, Donna for joining me today.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Thank you so much for having me and my compliments.
I love all the goodness that you put out there
through your fund kissed and your books and your financial
planning work.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
Very impressed and thanks so much. I want to be
like you.
Speaker 6 (01:07):
It's this episode of Demistifying Money with Misty Lynch is
proudly sponsored by Soundview Financial Advisors. Visit www dot Soundview
financial Advisors dot com to learn more.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I think I love that you're you know it, And
I think that's part of you know, what we do
is a lot of times that the work that we
go into it might not be what we thought we'd
be doing when we were little kids, or but it's
like our life kind of pushes this into a certain
direction where we feel like, maybe I can help some
other people.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Maybe I'm going to share my story.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Because maybe some other people think the same way. So
even just you know, writing your book and sharing your
personal experience, you know, with losing your husband in twenty thirteen,
I mean, that's deeply personal. So how how has sharing
that deeply personal had helped you, you know, when it
came to shaping your business.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
You know, in a ton of ways.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
When I wrote the book the first time, I remember
writing it almost like an autobiography like part of it,
and then the other part of it was like almost
like a very quick help guide for widows. And in
those first three years, and I remember merging the two
with the urging of my publisher and my editor saying,
they tell your story because then people can identify with
(02:25):
the fact of the advice you're giving comes from what
you live through as well as what you've learned.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
And I was like, well, this is.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Great because now I only have to tell my story
once in the pages of the book and I'm done.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Right.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
So we shared a little bit earlier before the recording
that I did lose my first husband and he had
taken his life, and for the longest time, it was
nothing I shared. I would just say he died suddenly,
and I would just keep going for many different reasons.
So I was like, Ooh, if I put it in
the pages of the book, then it's done. I don't
have to say it again. Book hits, podcast interviews, clients,
(02:58):
coming out, speaking events, and I'm sharing that story more
now than I ever did because it's relatable, right, because
whether it was a suicide or a heart attack or
even an illness that you knew somebody was facing their
strategies or kind of the same. And the broken heart
at the end is kind of the same. So here
you are making those decisions for finances with a broken heart.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Yeah, and it's tough.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It's definitely No, it's it's difficult. And I think that
I've I've worked with people who are you know, have
experienced loss, and like you know, there's there's only so
much we could do when we plan. And I think
even in the last episode, you know, when I was
talking about you know, natural disaster, I mean, we can
plan as best as possible, but then we are also
dealing with having, you know, having to make decisions under pressure,
(03:46):
under stress, having you know, those such an emotional experience,
as well as trying to figure out the next logical steps.
So I'm curious when you when you first wrote your book,
you focused on the first three years. Was there anything
in particular that made that time, you know period specifically
(04:07):
important to talk about with other people who might be
going through this.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
You know, what I really thought was needed to be
said is like the permission to slow the role right
Like in the book I mentioned, there's like three different
stages in my mind, the immediate decisions that have to
be made, like when you lose a spouse, sometimes you
have to put in the documents for social security, you
have to put in the documents for life insurance. They're
time sensitive. There's no quite choice on that you might
(04:33):
actually lose a window or window might.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Close to seek some benefits.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
So you have to do those immediate things and really
knowing what are those immediate decisions, and then what else
can we kind of put on pause, what can we
put in a holding pattern, and what can that be
a decision of those transitional years, maybe after we call
it the year of the first right, the first anniversary
of the loss of our spouse, or the first the
(04:59):
first balance and stay right. So once we get through
that year, and then we start to make some more
goals right that are more long term, and then year
three and out, that's when you can actually start to
dream a little, right, because you've really lived for two
years life now is a sole parent right or on
your own financially, and you start to really feel it right.
And now that you're in those shoes, do they fit right?
(05:22):
What else can we be done? I think it's a
little hard from you know, when we do a traditional
financial plan, it's like where we are now, where do
we want to go? And what of our hopes and
dreams like magic wand at the end, there's no magic
wand at the end or hope or a dream really
for someone who does lost the spouse, right, they're out there,
but they're not solidified, they're not concrete. So I think
being able to slow that role and take it in
(05:43):
chunks and giving yourself permission to curl up in a
ball if you need to that day, right, But knowing
what has to get done really important.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
No, that's true, it is so important. It is different.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
You're right when we do a financial plan or sitting
with a couple who are going out to age ninety
five and we're talking about all of it. I mean,
this is kind of in that you know none of it,
we have no control over all of it. But I
think that there are certain things that, like you mentioned
in that first year, that have to get done and
that's almost the you know, there might be checklists for that,
there might be people who can do that, but I
(06:15):
think that getting to that point where you do, you
are able to maybe see maybe not the future you imagined,
but a different future that could still be good. That's
the difficult part. I think for some people to understand
that that's that's there, and that's possible, even people who
go through divorce or other changes where the whole you know,
(06:37):
what they pictured isn't going to be reality, and I
think that could be tricky for some people to start
to figure out how to get past that, those feelings
or that pain. So what are your thoughts there when
it comes to you know you You've also talked to
people about, you know, your guide for blended families. So
obviously your family has continued to evolve and change. So
what are your thoughts there about filing giving yourself permission
(07:01):
to think about the future or dream.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Yeah, it has to happen at some point in time, right,
And I love to say we want an option to dream, right,
We kind of want to know the framework of where
we are financially.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
And of our goals.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
And then it's almost like a t oh, my goodness.
I'm a little older than you, my love, but.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
We just have these books.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
You could choose your own adventure, like turn to page
one thirty five if you want to go to the island,
if you want to stay put on the boat, stay here.
That's almost like what I want my widows and my
blended families to feel. I will be very honest, I
was very stubborn about not wanting to get married again.
I would live in sin just fine, right, and feel
(07:43):
as if I was married but not really getting married
because I'm really really afraid of being vulnerable financially right
and being responsible for taking on another family or another spouse.
I had my own little block there, right, And it
took a little bit a while, and it took a
little bit of being in love to realize that this
was something that we could do.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
And even though I'm a.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Financial planner, I had done it on my own for
ten years, and I really wasn't willing to share the
decision making. Also okay sharing the money, I was not
okay with.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
Sharing the decision making.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
I really enjoyed it being my way and my direction.
And it took a lot of conversations of sitting down,
of mapping things out to get me even comfortable with
this joining of families and joining a fund.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, you know, that's interesting that you mentioned, because you're right,
sometimes we do get used to things the way that
they are that they've always that they have been. And
you've been doing you know, obviously with three children of
your own, you were doing ten years of the work
and the planning, and so I think that's interesting to
bring up that. Yeah, even as somebody who has trained
(08:50):
in this profession like, there's a little bit of control,
there's a little bit of anxiety when it comes to
those combinations. So you're not if you feel that way,
you're not alone, You're not crazy or selfish, and it's
You're a completely normal person with a normal human brain.
That is like, but this has kept me alive and
I've had to adjust and now something new is a
(09:12):
little bit scary. So I think it's great to you know,
mention that it takes time.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Yeah, and we did a really good visual right, like
I remember getting and don't let me preface this. My
new husband, Jim, got married two years ago. Lovely guy,
completely different money mindset, right, like I am saving till
long life ninety four ninety.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Five and he's like, ooh, if I make it.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
To seventy, that'd be great. I'm like, oh wait, husband
number two, let's not do this, right. But he's he
very much lives for the moment, and so he had
to really understand where my brain was and why I
was nervous, right, and so we mapped it all out,
and of course, you know, he was probably just sitting
there being like, does this make you happy? You take
over the dining room table, go ahead with your giant
(09:55):
flip chart, have a good day.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
But I really was like.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Wrote down like assets, and wrote down flows of income,
and wrote down some of the goals for the kids.
More than anything, it was the goals for the kids,
and really identified what was mine, what was his, what
was theirs, and what was ours, and we kind of
went from there from those categories and started to build
out what I called the new Plan.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, and I think that sometimes you know, well really,
I mean, you can have a different money mindset than
your sibling that grew up in the same exact household,
in the same exact condition.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
It can, it's always different.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
But I think that what you mentioned about him kind
of letting you have the living room. Yeah, Like I've
talked to some people and I could see couples and
they're just like, I let her have the spreadsheet or
he puts up this whole power point and.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
I'm just like yes.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
But it's almost like that's part of the compromise, that's
part of the love pieces understanding, Like, yes, we might
come at this from a different angle, but if the
goal is the same in the end, which is usually
the kids, Sure, the things you want to do that
there's definitely different ways to approach it, and it's giving
(11:05):
people their space to actually work through it the way
that they do. And I think that's just such a
it's I think it's just something that people assume, like
one way is right or wrong.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, And I.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Would get like, I would be like, Okay, I just
need you to humor me a little bit, and once
a month, let's sit in and we'll go into our portal,
and I need you to know where everything is if
something God forbid happens to me, right, because yeah, I'm
a financial advisor. I run the finances in the house, right.
And he's a creative one, God bless him, and he
(11:38):
does a lot of everything with the kids.
Speaker 5 (11:40):
He just does.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
He's that sweet roll and just that once a month
sit down was too much for him. So to make
myself feel better, I went to the executor of our will,
the person that has power Tony over me finance. It's
not him, and I was like, how would I teach
you all of this so if something happens you can
take care of Jim And she was like, oh man,
she's friends with my head Like yeah, yep, it's you.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
She's like, oh my god, I love you both so much.
This is a true testament.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
I sat down with the will and all these state
documents and I showed her and all the finances, and
I showed her and I felt satisfied.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Someone knows it was not him, Okay, she does.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
No, And I think that is one thing that I
feel like, even in our role as financial planners, you know,
going outside of our own our own lives, is sometimes
there might be one person who is not very engaged
in the planning process or really doesn't enjoy it. And
like we typically all meet, but sometimes it is just
nice knowing, like for the person that is really concerned
(12:40):
that somebody else in the world knows what's going on
and can help, because it's very frightening to feel like,
you know, and we've all seen situations where somebody maybe
didn't know what their spouse had, where anything was, and
having to learn that later in life or understress is
very very difficult. So what are some of the biggest
(13:02):
challenges that you feel like some couples can can maybe
tackle now that you've seen, you know, because there are
some financial difficulties obviously that come with losing a spout,
But what are some of the big ones that you
feel like sometimes it's really just it's it's self.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Care to get on board with.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Yeah, I mean, let's just get to the very basics
of it, even if it's not the larger who takes
care of financial decisions and awareness. Let's make sure we
know where everyone's passwords are, right, Like, are you using
an online password aggregator?
Speaker 5 (13:33):
Right?
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Do you know the keys to get into their phone?
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Right?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Like we were joking about it, like so many times
I have a password and it sends the code to
my phone.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Right.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
So my husband's just like, oh, yeah, I'll never remember
your code. So if something happens to you, I'm grabbing
your finger and putting it on there for like the
finger identification and opening it all up.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
I was like, oh, that's sweet.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Right, But even knowing that, I think, here and we're
in Pennsylvania, there's a power of attorney for digital assets
to make sure that you can get into that information.
But if it's even just that conversation of all, right,
let's organize our passwords. If something happens, we're on board,
do that, right?
Speaker 5 (14:11):
Do that?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I think that's an interesting one, and it's true because
I'm you know, unfortunately I'll see, you know, people who
pass away who it's celebrating their work anniversity on LinkedIn,
and you're always like, oh gosh, because nobody really maybe
is in control of their digital assets or there's like
all of these things that kind of you don't really
think about it, but it's very hard to access information,
(14:35):
and I think we think it's easier than it is
if it's not yours and it's not you signing in.
So I think that's just one approach, even to just
get the okay, this is what, this is everything that
I would sign into or that I have, and even
if that is with the attorneys, like a digital power
something like that, I think is really really important because
a lot of times, a lot of the things that
(14:56):
go to unclaimed property or things like that.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
I'm guessing some of you didn't even know that they,
oh yeah, access to one hundred percent. When my first
husband passed and I was I took care of almost
all of the everyday finances. I knew where everything is,
and so that wasn't that heavy of a lift when
he passed, But there were so many things that we
never talked about, like when we opened up his nightstand,
(15:20):
he had a big key ring full of keys. To
this day, I don't know what the keys were for.
I'm like, did he have a storage unit somewhere because
we moved international that I didn't know about, like.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
Or were these work keys?
Speaker 4 (15:32):
I have no clue, And there was, and they must
have been important to him because they were in his nightstand,
Like so where were those things? And I kind of
use that example and the keys are here in my
office because I use it with my own clients to
be like, okay, where are these assets?
Speaker 5 (15:47):
Right?
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Like where do you find about the employer benefits? Everything's
in PDF nowadays. It's not like so many of us like, hey,
I still have paper files.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
I'm just that person can go to the.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
File and be like, Okay, that's my job and Johnson
employer benefits.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
It's on a PDF on.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
The portal rights not there anymore, and.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
We're all comfortable with that.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
But how how do we educate our spouse and our
loved ones or our kids in the next generation as
to where it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, that's very true because a lot of times I'll
try to look up benefits for clients and I'll be like,
I can't get past this portion without signing in and
seeing it. And so it's just not that it's not
that visible from outside to know what could potentially be there.
So I think that whole piece of even yeah, just
that organization side can be so so important. And what
(16:35):
were some of the other things, you know, when you
you know, you had three children, young children at the time,
you know, what were some of the other big financial,
you know, issues that you ran into that either were
easier to deal with because of the planning, or that
we were difficult that people could potentially look out for.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
I think a lot of it was in making sure.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
One assets moved over into my name, making sure that
I had the beneficiary designation to date with those which
is ira things like that new life insurance policies, because
so many things I was a beneficiary for my husband,
he was for mine, right, and so that was that
was just it wasn't hard, right, and it was a
(17:20):
checklist to go through. Again, you have to access each portal.
You get tired of it or you don't want to
deal with it, and so you put it off.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
Please don't put it off.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Like as soon as that paperwork comes in update, all
of that go through. My former employer retirement plans, make
sure that beneficiary was updated away from my late husband
and to my children or to the guardian. Yeah, that
was a big one for me. I think the biggest
one for me, and I'll go there. Like I was
not a financial advisor when I lost my husband. I
(17:50):
had very I was trained in finance and statistics.
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Became a financial.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
Advisor after his loss. But we didn't have enough cash
reserve on hand. We were in between moving houses. We
were he moved very often, like a military life, and
so we had bought a house and had sold one
and used all of our cash to put a deposit
on the second house. So when he passed, we really
didn't have any cash reserve. I couldn't even pay for
(18:16):
his funeral. I actually had to put the life insurance
policy up against the funeral, so when life insurance came out,
funeral home got paid and then the life insurance came
to me. And I also did not have a lot
of credit in my own name. I was an authorized
user on many of his credit cards, and as soon
as your report that someone passed, you closed down their
line of credit. And I was left with not a
(18:39):
lot of credit to be able to support life with
no income and no life insurance that was getting held
up because of the payment process. That was tough, and
that sent me into a feeling of lack and being scared,
being vulnerable, which lasted well into the first year.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I think that's important to realize because a lot of people,
especially if they say that, you know, maybe the credit
cards aren't joined, like there's an authorized and then I
think they don't realize that that is gone or that
that will go away, and that can be definitely complicated,
especially if there's not enough cash or money on hand
(19:20):
that you could liquidate easily and luckily you did have
an insurance. Because another thing that sometimes is avoided is
talking about proper life insurance because it's uncomfortable to talk about.
Same with estate planning. I will see some hesitation for
some clients who just don't they know it's on the
list of things to do. It's just it's one of
(19:41):
those things that's not there's no real pressure to get
it done. It doesn't hurt to not have it done
until it's too late and you needed it.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
That's when the people who've been executors or who've done that,
they're the ones that are like, I'm getting this done
because I am not putting some somebody else do that.
So I think that is something that you know, people
should really pay attention to as their family changes, as
their needs change, their real estate, all of those things,
and make sure.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
That it's enough.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yeah, because we really don't know, you know, obviously we
don't know how long you know, any of us are
going to be here. But I think it is one
of those things that is just we also all we
know that at some point hopefully our children will outlive on,
you know, and I think that that's just one of
those things that really can't be stressed enough in our work.
(20:36):
Is just to make sure that those things are taken
care of.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Yeah, when I share my story with some clients or
maybe a new prospect that just kind of get referred
to me and I'm like, hey, do you know my
background right? And I need to share it with you,
even if it's just a highlight of I became a widow,
flip my career on its head, and now this is
what I do.
Speaker 5 (20:54):
Because I'm going to.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Harp on financial planning and cash reserve, I'm going to
harp on life insurance, and I'm going to harp on
the state documents because those are the three things that
protected me in those days. So I just talked about
that lean few months.
Speaker 5 (21:09):
Period, right.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
But the reason we had life insurance because my husband
I did work with a financial advisor in our young
twenties before we sold our first home and moved abroad.
It was that financial advisor that got us to life insurance.
Speaker 5 (21:21):
It was that.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Financial advisor who made sure my estate documents were intact
before we traveled to Italy and to see what decisions
could be made for us if we lived internationally and
something happened to my husband, like those were really sensitive
topics that he threw in front of us and was
like he's law enforcement, We're getting some life insurance.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
Let's go.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
And I will always be thankful, always be thankful for that.
And so that is really one of those key pillars
of what I do, was the advice I got that
protected me.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
So I love that you bring that up.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah, And I think that that's you know, it's important
to share your story. And I think that it's probably
going to be some you know, the thing that helps
your clients, you know, even knowing going into it. This
is something that I care about, and I've seen that
with other people who have shared deeply, you know, personal
experiences like some of the estate want a state planning attorney.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I know she almost lost.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Her life in childbirth and she's very outamant on guardianship.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
And I think that's just kind of what makes us.
It compels us to do what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Like you said, sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable and unpleasant,
but it's like it's enough to get past that.
Speaker 5 (22:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
I've often said to someone that's been on the phone, like, Okay,
I kind of do financial planning different.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
So I'm going to.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Like, mommy, you like And if you're not comfortable with that,
then I'm not the advisor for you. I will give
you a recommendation to some other people, but I am
in your business and I am going to be like
step by stepping, like did you do it?
Speaker 5 (22:49):
Did you do it? Did you do it?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
But that's that's my approach because I need to sleep
at night. I like a nice seven to eight hours
I do. I hit fifty and I hit the wall.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
That was it? Like? And now we're six kids? Maybe
that's what did it? Like fourteen to twenty two?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Oh my but because we do think about it, and
some of us do think about it, some of us
might not, you know, But I was I was talking
to somebody who was like, okay, like when do you
want to decide? I was like, well, very you know, quickly,
because if we're gonna work together, like I'm going to start.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Making sure that these things are getting done. And I
just need to.
Speaker 7 (23:21):
Know if we need already worrying about it, brain for
this or you know, or if you're moving on, because
I just I just have to have an answer because
it is it's it's hard to you know, to make
people do anything.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
But I do think that sometimes it helps if people
are with the right person, you know, to say like, Okay,
well if I don't want to do this, but Donna
really wants me to do it, I'll.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Get it done.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Because sometimes we don't do things for ourselves because we
kind of were like, oh, move on, or maybe I
should pay for this instead. So I think having that
person that kind of you know is also also cares
can kind of be slightly motivating. If you're somebody that
puts off taking care of yourself.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
You might need.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
To come in and help you.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
I wanted to talk about your blended family, because I
do think that that's something that is a whole different
that's certainly certainly common, and I think that it's just
a kind of adds a different layer to financial planning.
And some people are looking for like what's the right way.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
To do it?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
And I don't know if there's necessarily a right way,
But what are some of the things that you think
are is important for you know, couples coming together with
maybe they have businesses, children already, you know in the picture,
what are some tips you have for those couples to
do things move away.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
I'm blended families come in all different shapes and sizes, right, Like,
sometimes it can be a very committed relationship, but you
don't formally get married. Right, that's a whole different consideration
than like Jim and I who did get married two
years ago. When I say, different consideration for things like
who's in charge of the kids if something should happen
to me, who has rights to make decisions over the
(25:00):
children medically as well as one another? Right, Yeah, it's
a little hard. I've seen in my practice so many
people that just for health care decisions, right, I'm going
to use my grandmother as the as the example, she
lived with.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
My uncle Al for forty years.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
That was like my grandfather. I knew no difference, and
they just weren't formally married.
Speaker 5 (25:23):
Well, when he got.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Sick in his late eighties, she couldn't make any medical
decisions for him.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Right, So here.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
Comes his kids, who I mean, I grew up with
him every Sunday eating Progi's.
Speaker 5 (25:33):
We're big family. We're big Polish family.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
And I've never seen them, and they're making decisions over
the man that she loved and cared for into his eighties.
So a lot of it is protection. And so I
think a lot of his one conversation two. If he
can't say it, then map it out. Or you don't
need a big flip chart on the dining room table.
You can actually just do a quick inventory of things
(25:55):
that you have flows of income so that the other
person can just be aware, right, And sometimes you have
to be really vulnerable and honest about that and then
truly get professional help where you need it, whether that
is through a trusted attorney to do a prenup, whether
it's a trusted attorney to just do an updated will
with guardianship, executorship, power of attorneys, or whether it is
(26:19):
actually someone to help guide that conversation, a financial planner
or a counselor family marriage counselors. They really get excited
when it's a healthy, growing, new relationship coming in asking like, hey,
give us some tips on how we can talk better
about money or bigger decisions with the kids versus so
many of them here in philadelf You are trying to
keep marriages together, right like, instead of trying to open
(26:42):
that communication. And when we were for someone out to
like a marriage and family counselor and it's in a
good way, they're very excited and thankful for that recommendation.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Or I think it's just a different conversation because it's
like when you have two people that are working together
on the common goal and they're excited about it. I
think that's something that you can accomplish so much, yeah,
so much faster, and so I think that just might
be unique, you know, And I think that's why we
like working with you know, I like working with people
who maybe are looking at Okay, we're here now.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
But we want to we want to do this business,
we want to move here.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
We have all these big dreams and goals and I
think that's exciting because you kind of get some of that.
You know, you can kind of feel that it's the
energy on the work. Yeah, you feel the energy and
it's like, okay, let's you know, let's see how we
can all work together on this and get things done.
I think that's a good idea. And you mentioned prenups.
Is that something that you recommend or that you seriously
(27:37):
think people should consider, even if it's not the most
romantic of words. I think a lot of times I
believe that it is important because it's kind of like
any other business that you're making, you are combining, you know,
your financial lives and things like that. So I think
they're important. But what is your take on them? And
(27:58):
you know, should everybody consider it or is it really
in certain situations?
Speaker 5 (28:03):
I am a big fan of them.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
When I talked about like mapping out mine, yours hours theirs, right,
that was actually the framework for our prenup. We have
one right because I had assets that I wanted to
protect from my late husband for my children. Right, I'm
nothing to protect, like Jim's going to run in and
take it from them. But what if something happens, right,
like who knows like this is one thing, the uncertainty
(28:27):
in life you don't.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
Know, right.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
But it was almost like that framework and it was
very easy. We just took it to an attorney, both
of us and were just like, hey, this looked good, okay,
And it was more like what was mine was mine.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
Coming in was his, was his coming in.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
Anything we grew together as a couple was ours, and
that's it. And making sure that we protected one another
with life insurance, right. So he actually took a step
back from his career to help support mine. So he's
got a really good life insurance policy if something happens
to me, right to make or that my income is replaced,
because he took a break from his own marketplace to
(29:04):
be part of our firm, And that was part of
the discussions, not just with the prenup, but with how
are we going to structure this. Some people don't like
the prenups because of the emotional context to it.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
You think are going to leave, you don't have faith
in the marriage. So it's not really about I don't
tell you.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
It's not really about like protecting mine and yours. It's
literally about understanding the parameters.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
Of how we're going to grow what we have together.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Yeah, so yeah, some of them, where are the roots
of this to grow the tree?
Speaker 3 (29:33):
So I think that's important.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I do think that maybe sometimes that is a conversation
that you know, sometimes you know, first.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Marriages nearly what they're like, Oh my gosh, no, we
can ever think of it.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Were Sometimes when I'm talking to people who have experienced,
you know, a divorce, there's almost more of a yeah,
things do happen. This is more like, this makes sense because.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
They've lived through some things.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
And so I do think that it isn't necessarily like
a bad you know. I think there's too many situations
where yeah, things aren't necessarily done the way they'd want.
And you're right, some children because some other family members
are now making important decisions, or the money is going
somewhere where we don't think that would have been where
they wanted it to be. And so that's a tough
(30:15):
situation because there's very little you can do if the
law says this is what happens, and that's what happens
in the case when there's no legal documents kind of
saying what you did want to happen, so very important
and also you can put as much emotion behind it
as you want to, or you can look at it
as just another thing that you're doing and taking care of,
kind of like getting the life insurance policy.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
I always referred to like our prenup as the ability
to protect our relationships outside of us, because I will
tell you, like for me, I came from widowhood. For Jim,
he came from divorce, and my extended family was very
protective of me through that whole widowhood journey. And they're
very protective of whether it's their business or not. What
(31:00):
am I doing with the legacy that my late husband
left for me and the kids?
Speaker 5 (31:05):
Now, that's what it's been said to me. The legacy is.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
A life insurance policy that kept us afloat right, Okay,
But at the same time, like if if they needed
to hear the extended family of Jim and I talked
about it. We have our state documents, we have a prenup.
Everything is free, like, everything is very clear and fair.
That's all the extended family and friends needed to not worry.
That's right, And so they don't look as the second marriage,
(31:31):
as you know, someone's trying to get into her like no, right,
like it's like.
Speaker 5 (31:34):
Oh, okay, they took care of that. Done done.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
No, I think that's that's a good that's a good perspective,
and I think that is a great way to kind
of frame it, to be like, no, we've already discussed this,
we worked through it.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Everything is good. Because you're right.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
We do a lot of speculating when everyone likes to
talk about what's happening and oh, this must be their motivation,
and sometimes it's just like, well, no, it's been handled.
Then everyone's eyes are wide open and oh okay.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, that kind of ends that conversation for people. I
wanted to ask you, you know, what are some of
the common mistakes that you see? And this could be
for peace, could be for people entering, you know, widowhood
or with the blended families. Are there any things that
you think that, after doing the work that you've done
(32:24):
and writing the books, that people should be very mindful
of that they might not be thinking about now because
either you've made the mistake or you've seen other people
go through certain things that could have been avoided.
Speaker 5 (32:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I mean the big one.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
I think I almost just touched on it with the
extended family, the people that you care for. You are
so vulnerable many of times in widowhood or post divorce,
because yeah, you've just lost half of everything many of times,
or all of those future dreams. And sometimes you overshare,
right and where people are there to help, and they
(32:57):
are very willing to help, but all of a sudden,
they know all of your assets, they know all of
your flows of income, they know some of your stubborn
weak points. They know what makes you cry pretty easy, right,
and sometimes that's not the best knowledge for other people
to have, right, So you can lose some of your
privacy by oversharing that. It might be feel very comfortable
(33:20):
and protective in the beginning, but three to five years later, like,
it's hard. It's hard for everyone to be in your business.
So I always say, like, find one or two confidants,
those trusted souls that might go with you for a
visit to go interview a financial advisor, accountant on a
state attorney to go with you and hold your hand
(33:41):
if you have to go to Social Security in person. Okay,
but make sure that's a trusted person that you've talked
to them about keeping this information private.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah, that is such an important point.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
I've definitely seen that with divorce and with other situations
where there's been even couples that have gotten back together.
And yeah, it really depends on you know, who you
trust with all of the information that you're sharing. Do
you really want everyone knowing how much money is everywhere?
You know?
Speaker 4 (34:12):
It?
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Can?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
It can be, you know, because everyone might be offering
to listen and help. But I think you're right having
a few people because it might not be something that
everybody needs to know or be aware of. It might
not be their closest people might not be the ones
you should be taking advice from. In certain situations.
Speaker 5 (34:28):
We call that uncle Bobby. Yeah, uncle Bobby might.
Speaker 4 (34:30):
Not be it.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
You might not know what you should be doing in
this situation, or he might be thinking about what would
be best for him in that situation, and he might
be decades old or different, you know, different space in life,
different financial position and all those things.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
So I think that's a great tip.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
To have people find the people they trust in their
circle and even if it's not their best friend or
going or whoever, find the person that can actually give
you good advice and keep your confidence. I think is
super important. Yeah, so you're a speaker now in a
podcast host and an author. What has been the most
rewarding part of educating families about financial transitions for you?
Speaker 4 (35:12):
I think for me, it's been putting these resources out there.
So even if someone is not ready to sit down
with a full financial planner, they don't think. I mean,
I come from a blue collar background, Philadelphia firefighter, and
I would never have pictured myself growing up sitting with
a financial advisor at twenty five, like before I was
going to go move abroad. And I was actually one
(35:33):
of my neighbors that pushed me to it. She's like,
you're at your wheelhouse. Like we were just very used
to being able to cover the budget, right, like that
was it. And so to be able to put resources
out there that people can gather and get educated on
and at least ask good questions if they ever had
the opportunity to sit down with an advisor or a
state of dot a state attorney. But sometimes you just
(35:56):
need that like downloadable resource to sit at the table
and be like, all right, this is our personal document locator.
Let me see where all.
Speaker 5 (36:03):
Your passwords are.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
That little document locator getting the passwords starts that conversation.
So just having those tools out there has been so rewarding.
And when you see someone come in with okay, like
you guys, I've noticed.
Speaker 5 (36:15):
I talked about flip charts.
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Love big flip charts, Love like big markers, and yes,
we can use tech to do it better than me.
But when you see a client come in or even
a friend and they like are unfolding this giant three
foot by two foot flip chart piece of paper because
that's the part of the financial plan that made a difference,
Or they took notes when you were speaking and it
was on a napkin, like at at a luncheon, and
(36:37):
you see them come in with that, that's when you
kind of knew you made a difference, Like you you
tapped into the way they would receive the information.
Speaker 5 (36:45):
And by doing like you.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
Do podcasts and books and TV shows, you're making yourself
and these tools available to whatever way they observe it best.
Speaker 5 (36:54):
And that's been fantastic. I love that.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Yeah, No, I think that is you know, it doesn't
take much.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
I feel like I had somebody who said, like, hey,
actually I raised my fees and all my clients continue
to work with me, and now I'm making x more
or I got a raise, and I'm like that'll keep
me going for like another solid decade.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
Yeah, Like I'm good.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Oh there you go, you know, like peace out, perfect
all right. Like it's it's funny how you know, certain
things are, like you said, even with the book, even
if it gets you to ask a question yea to
yourself a little different, like to rethink something that maybe's
been ingrained, Like maybe you're like, we're blue collar people.
We pay the bills, we get by, and then you're
like something made you think could be a little different,
(37:37):
and like whatever that point was, it's enough to kind
of change the whole trajectory of things, which is just
something that everybody, you know, everybody has their own life
experience and goes through. So I think it's great to just,
you know, to be able to put that information out
there or share it with people in whatever format they.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Choose to accept it.
Speaker 5 (37:56):
That helps people.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
I think it's fabulous.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
So how can people find your book and or your
podcast if they want to learn about working with.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
You or more about your work.
Speaker 5 (38:05):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
That is Donna, Jean Kendrick. All of the ladies in
my family, we all have rhyming names. So my mom's Marlene,
my sister Charlene, my aunt is Irene, and I was
Donna Jean.
Speaker 5 (38:17):
So there you go.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
Now you'll remember I went by Donna for the longest time.
I dropped that gene when I got to college, and
now it's back, and I will I will thank the
executor of my will for telling my husband that that
was truly how she knew me growing up.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
She's like, you mean Donna Jean over here.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
He's like, excuse me, Oh, like all six kids, they
don't call me mom or stepmom.
Speaker 5 (38:37):
They refer to me as DJ. Like even the teachers
refer to me as DJ.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
So there you go.
Speaker 5 (38:43):
I love Donagenekendrick dot com.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
That will get you all the books, all the free
downloadable resources, links to the podcast, and just let me
love you up over there.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Oh, thank you so much for sharing your work, your
story and the information on how to find you and
follow you. I think that you know then, from you're
putting out there. It doesn't just it is not just
for people and blended families, not just These are tips
that you can use, really anybody can use to get
more organized. Even if you're making a plan and that
person who has your passwords, is your best friend or
(39:14):
some things taking care of will mean that you know
your wishes, what you want to happen. I mean, families
are looking really different these I mean it could just
be a matter of letting the state decide what happens
with everything.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
You've worked for or you.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
So Fore, these tips are super, super helpful, super universal
for a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
So thank you so much for coming on the show.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
And if you're looking to catch up on more episodes
of the podcast, please head over to mister Lynch dot com.
That's where you could find episodes of the podcast, the show,
or order a copy of the book if you want
to ask yourself some money mindset questions just about yourself,
if you're trying to get those financial questions answered, or
maybe think a little bit differently this year about your money.
So thank you everyone so much for joining and we'll
(40:00):
talk again next week.
Speaker 5 (40:02):
Thanks Bessy, thank.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
You for joining us on another insightful episode of demonst
Buying Money. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate and.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Leave a review.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Stay tuned for more engaging conversations on our next episode,
and remember knowledge is the key to financial empowerment.
Welcome to the demist Defying Money podcast, where each week
you will hear unforgettable conversations with expert guests about success, money, business,
and small steps you can take to elevate your life
and wealth. Now here's your host, Misty Lynch.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hi, everybody, thank you so much for joining me for
this episode of Demistifying Money. I am joined by my
friend and fellow CSP Donna Kendrick. She is the founder
of Septon Financial and after losing her first husband suddenly
in twenty thirteen, she navigated widowhood with three young children,
and this inspired her to help support families in transition
(00:38):
using financial planning and those steps to kind of be
better prepared for all of the situations that sometimes life
brings our way. She's the host of the Wisdom and
Wealth podcast and author of a Guide to Widowhood and
a guide for blended Families.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Thank you so much, Donna for joining me today.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Thank you so much for having me and my compliments.
I love all the goodness that you put out there
through your fund kissed and your books and your financial
planning work.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
Very impressed and thanks so much. I want to be
like you.
Speaker 6 (01:07):
It's this episode of Demistifying Money with Misty Lynch is
proudly sponsored by Soundview Financial Advisors. Visit www dot Soundview
financial Advisors dot com to learn more.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I think I love that you're you know it, And
I think that's part of you know, what we do
is a lot of times that the work that we
go into it might not be what we thought we'd
be doing when we were little kids, or but it's
like our life kind of pushes this into a certain
direction where we feel like, maybe I can help some
other people.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Maybe I'm going to share my story.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Because maybe some other people think the same way. So
even just you know, writing your book and sharing your
personal experience, you know, with losing your husband in twenty thirteen,
I mean, that's deeply personal. So how how has sharing
that deeply personal had helped you, you know, when it
came to shaping your business.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
You know, in a ton of ways.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
When I wrote the book the first time, I remember
writing it almost like an autobiography like part of it,
and then the other part of it was like almost
like a very quick help guide for widows. And in
those first three years, and I remember merging the two
with the urging of my publisher and my editor saying,
they tell your story because then people can identify with
(02:25):
the fact of the advice you're giving comes from what
you live through as well as what you've learned.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
And I was like, well, this is.
Speaker 4 (02:32):
Great because now I only have to tell my story
once in the pages of the book and I'm done.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Right.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
So we shared a little bit earlier before the recording
that I did lose my first husband and he had
taken his life, and for the longest time, it was
nothing I shared. I would just say he died suddenly,
and I would just keep going for many different reasons.
So I was like, Ooh, if I put it in
the pages of the book, then it's done. I don't
have to say it again. Book hits, podcast interviews, clients,
(02:58):
coming out, speaking events, and I'm sharing that story more
now than I ever did because it's relatable, right, because
whether it was a suicide or a heart attack or
even an illness that you knew somebody was facing their
strategies or kind of the same. And the broken heart
at the end is kind of the same. So here
you are making those decisions for finances with a broken heart.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Yeah, and it's tough.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It's definitely No, it's it's difficult. And I think that
I've I've worked with people who are you know, have
experienced loss, and like you know, there's there's only so
much we could do when we plan. And I think
even in the last episode, you know, when I was
talking about you know, natural disaster, I mean, we can
plan as best as possible, but then we are also
dealing with having, you know, having to make decisions under pressure,
(03:46):
under stress, having you know, those such an emotional experience,
as well as trying to figure out the next logical steps.
So I'm curious when you when you first wrote your book,
you focused on the first three years. Was there anything
in particular that made that time, you know period specifically
(04:07):
important to talk about with other people who might be
going through this.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
You know, what I really thought was needed to be
said is like the permission to slow the role right
Like in the book I mentioned, there's like three different
stages in my mind, the immediate decisions that have to
be made, like when you lose a spouse, sometimes you
have to put in the documents for social security, you
have to put in the documents for life insurance. They're
time sensitive. There's no quite choice on that you might
(04:33):
actually lose a window or window might.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Close to seek some benefits.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
So you have to do those immediate things and really
knowing what are those immediate decisions, and then what else
can we kind of put on pause, what can we
put in a holding pattern, and what can that be
a decision of those transitional years, maybe after we call
it the year of the first right, the first anniversary
of the loss of our spouse, or the first the
(04:59):
first balance and stay right. So once we get through
that year, and then we start to make some more
goals right that are more long term, and then year
three and out, that's when you can actually start to
dream a little, right, because you've really lived for two
years life now is a sole parent right or on
your own financially, and you start to really feel it right.
And now that you're in those shoes, do they fit right?
(05:22):
What else can we be done? I think it's a
little hard from you know, when we do a traditional
financial plan, it's like where we are now, where do
we want to go? And what of our hopes and
dreams like magic wand at the end, there's no magic
wand at the end or hope or a dream really
for someone who does lost the spouse, right, they're out there,
but they're not solidified, they're not concrete. So I think
being able to slow that role and take it in
(05:43):
chunks and giving yourself permission to curl up in a
ball if you need to that day, right, But knowing
what has to get done really important.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
No, that's true, it is so important. It is different.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
You're right when we do a financial plan or sitting
with a couple who are going out to age ninety
five and we're talking about all of it. I mean,
this is kind of in that you know none of it,
we have no control over all of it. But I
think that there are certain things that, like you mentioned
in that first year, that have to get done and
that's almost the you know, there might be checklists for that,
there might be people who can do that, but I
(06:15):
think that getting to that point where you do, you
are able to maybe see maybe not the future you imagined,
but a different future that could still be good. That's
the difficult part. I think for some people to understand
that that's that's there, and that's possible, even people who
go through divorce or other changes where the whole you know,
(06:37):
what they pictured isn't going to be reality, and I
think that could be tricky for some people to start
to figure out how to get past that, those feelings
or that pain. So what are your thoughts there when
it comes to you know you You've also talked to
people about, you know, your guide for blended families. So
obviously your family has continued to evolve and change. So
what are your thoughts there about filing giving yourself permission
(07:01):
to think about the future or dream.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
Yeah, it has to happen at some point in time, right,
And I love to say we want an option to dream, right,
We kind of want to know the framework of where
we are financially.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
And of our goals.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
And then it's almost like a t oh, my goodness.
I'm a little older than you, my love, but.
Speaker 5 (07:22):
We just have these books.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
You could choose your own adventure, like turn to page
one thirty five if you want to go to the island,
if you want to stay put on the boat, stay here.
That's almost like what I want my widows and my
blended families to feel. I will be very honest, I
was very stubborn about not wanting to get married again.
I would live in sin just fine, right, and feel
(07:43):
as if I was married but not really getting married
because I'm really really afraid of being vulnerable financially right
and being responsible for taking on another family or another spouse.
I had my own little block there, right, And it
took a little bit a while, and it took a
little bit of being in love to realize that this
was something that we could do.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
And even though I'm a.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Financial planner, I had done it on my own for
ten years, and I really wasn't willing to share the
decision making. Also okay sharing the money, I was not
okay with.
Speaker 5 (08:14):
Sharing the decision making.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
I really enjoyed it being my way and my direction.
And it took a lot of conversations of sitting down,
of mapping things out to get me even comfortable with
this joining of families and joining a fund.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Yeah, you know, that's interesting that you mentioned, because you're right,
sometimes we do get used to things the way that
they are that they've always that they have been. And
you've been doing you know, obviously with three children of
your own, you were doing ten years of the work
and the planning, and so I think that's interesting to
bring up that. Yeah, even as somebody who has trained
(08:50):
in this profession like, there's a little bit of control,
there's a little bit of anxiety when it comes to
those combinations. So you're not if you feel that way,
you're not alone, You're not crazy or selfish, and it's
You're a completely normal person with a normal human brain.
That is like, but this has kept me alive and
I've had to adjust and now something new is a
(09:12):
little bit scary. So I think it's great to you know,
mention that it takes time.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Yeah, and we did a really good visual right, like
I remember getting and don't let me preface this. My
new husband, Jim, got married two years ago. Lovely guy,
completely different money mindset, right, like I am saving till
long life ninety four ninety.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Five and he's like, ooh, if I make it.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
To seventy, that'd be great. I'm like, oh wait, husband
number two, let's not do this, right. But he's he
very much lives for the moment, and so he had
to really understand where my brain was and why I
was nervous, right, and so we mapped it all out,
and of course, you know, he was probably just sitting
there being like, does this make you happy? You take
over the dining room table, go ahead with your giant
(09:55):
flip chart, have a good day.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
But I really was like.
Speaker 4 (09:59):
Wrote down like assets, and wrote down flows of income,
and wrote down some of the goals for the kids.
More than anything, it was the goals for the kids,
and really identified what was mine, what was his, what
was theirs, and what was ours, and we kind of
went from there from those categories and started to build
out what I called the new Plan.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Yeah, and I think that sometimes you know, well really,
I mean, you can have a different money mindset than
your sibling that grew up in the same exact household,
in the same exact condition.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
It can, it's always different.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
But I think that what you mentioned about him kind
of letting you have the living room. Yeah, Like I've
talked to some people and I could see couples and
they're just like, I let her have the spreadsheet or
he puts up this whole power point and.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
I'm just like yes.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
But it's almost like that's part of the compromise, that's
part of the love pieces understanding, Like, yes, we might
come at this from a different angle, but if the
goal is the same in the end, which is usually
the kids, Sure, the things you want to do that
there's definitely different ways to approach it, and it's giving
(11:05):
people their space to actually work through it the way
that they do. And I think that's just such a
it's I think it's just something that people assume, like
one way is right or wrong.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, And I.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Would get like, I would be like, Okay, I just
need you to humor me a little bit, and once
a month, let's sit in and we'll go into our portal,
and I need you to know where everything is if
something God forbid happens to me, right, because yeah, I'm
a financial advisor. I run the finances in the house, right.
And he's a creative one, God bless him, and he
(11:38):
does a lot of everything with the kids.
Speaker 5 (11:40):
He just does.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
He's that sweet roll and just that once a month
sit down was too much for him. So to make
myself feel better, I went to the executor of our will,
the person that has power Tony over me finance. It's
not him, and I was like, how would I teach
you all of this so if something happens you can
take care of Jim And she was like, oh man,
she's friends with my head Like yeah, yep, it's you.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
She's like, oh my god, I love you both so much.
This is a true testament.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
I sat down with the will and all these state
documents and I showed her and all the finances, and
I showed her and I felt satisfied.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Someone knows it was not him, Okay, she does.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
No, And I think that is one thing that I
feel like, even in our role as financial planners, you know,
going outside of our own our own lives, is sometimes
there might be one person who is not very engaged
in the planning process or really doesn't enjoy it. And
like we typically all meet, but sometimes it is just
nice knowing, like for the person that is really concerned
(12:40):
that somebody else in the world knows what's going on
and can help, because it's very frightening to feel like,
you know, and we've all seen situations where somebody maybe
didn't know what their spouse had, where anything was, and
having to learn that later in life or understress is
very very difficult. So what are some of the biggest
(13:02):
challenges that you feel like some couples can can maybe
tackle now that you've seen, you know, because there are
some financial difficulties obviously that come with losing a spout,
But what are some of the big ones that you
feel like sometimes it's really just it's it's self.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Care to get on board with.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Yeah, I mean, let's just get to the very basics
of it, even if it's not the larger who takes
care of financial decisions and awareness. Let's make sure we
know where everyone's passwords are, right, Like, are you using
an online password aggregator?
Speaker 5 (13:33):
Right?
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Do you know the keys to get into their phone?
Speaker 5 (13:37):
Right?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Like we were joking about it, like so many times
I have a password and it sends the code to
my phone.
Speaker 5 (13:43):
Right.
Speaker 4 (13:43):
So my husband's just like, oh, yeah, I'll never remember
your code. So if something happens to you, I'm grabbing
your finger and putting it on there for like the
finger identification and opening it all up.
Speaker 5 (13:52):
I was like, oh, that's sweet.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Right, But even knowing that, I think, here and we're
in Pennsylvania, there's a power of attorney for digital assets
to make sure that you can get into that information.
But if it's even just that conversation of all, right,
let's organize our passwords. If something happens, we're on board,
do that, right?
Speaker 5 (14:11):
Do that?
Speaker 2 (14:12):
I think that's an interesting one, and it's true because
I'm you know, unfortunately I'll see, you know, people who
pass away who it's celebrating their work anniversity on LinkedIn,
and you're always like, oh gosh, because nobody really maybe
is in control of their digital assets or there's like
all of these things that kind of you don't really
think about it, but it's very hard to access information,
(14:35):
and I think we think it's easier than it is
if it's not yours and it's not you signing in.
So I think that's just one approach, even to just
get the okay, this is what, this is everything that
I would sign into or that I have, and even
if that is with the attorneys, like a digital power
something like that, I think is really really important because
a lot of times, a lot of the things that
(14:56):
go to unclaimed property or things like that.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
I'm guessing some of you didn't even know that they,
oh yeah, access to one hundred percent. When my first
husband passed and I was I took care of almost
all of the everyday finances. I knew where everything is,
and so that wasn't that heavy of a lift when
he passed, But there were so many things that we
never talked about, like when we opened up his nightstand,
(15:20):
he had a big key ring full of keys. To
this day, I don't know what the keys were for.
I'm like, did he have a storage unit somewhere because
we moved international that I didn't know about, like.
Speaker 5 (15:31):
Or were these work keys?
Speaker 4 (15:32):
I have no clue, And there was, and they must
have been important to him because they were in his nightstand,
Like so where were those things? And I kind of
use that example and the keys are here in my
office because I use it with my own clients to
be like, okay, where are these assets?
Speaker 5 (15:47):
Right?
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Like where do you find about the employer benefits? Everything's
in PDF nowadays. It's not like so many of us like, hey,
I still have paper files.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
I'm just that person can go to the.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
File and be like, Okay, that's my job and Johnson
employer benefits.
Speaker 5 (16:01):
It's on a PDF on.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
The portal rights not there anymore, and.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
We're all comfortable with that.
Speaker 4 (16:06):
But how how do we educate our spouse and our
loved ones or our kids in the next generation as
to where it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah, that's very true because a lot of times I'll
try to look up benefits for clients and I'll be like,
I can't get past this portion without signing in and
seeing it. And so it's just not that it's not
that visible from outside to know what could potentially be there.
So I think that whole piece of even yeah, just
that organization side can be so so important. And what
(16:35):
were some of the other things, you know, when you
you know, you had three children, young children at the time,
you know, what were some of the other big financial,
you know, issues that you ran into that either were
easier to deal with because of the planning, or that
we were difficult that people could potentially look out for.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
I think a lot of it was in making sure.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
One assets moved over into my name, making sure that
I had the beneficiary designation to date with those which
is ira things like that new life insurance policies, because
so many things I was a beneficiary for my husband,
he was for mine, right, and so that was that
was just it wasn't hard, right, and it was a
(17:20):
checklist to go through. Again, you have to access each portal.
You get tired of it or you don't want to
deal with it, and so you put it off.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
Please don't put it off.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
Like as soon as that paperwork comes in update, all
of that go through. My former employer retirement plans, make
sure that beneficiary was updated away from my late husband
and to my children or to the guardian. Yeah, that
was a big one for me. I think the biggest
one for me, and I'll go there. Like I was
not a financial advisor when I lost my husband. I
(17:50):
had very I was trained in finance and statistics.
Speaker 5 (17:53):
Became a financial.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
Advisor after his loss. But we didn't have enough cash
reserve on hand. We were in between moving houses. We
were he moved very often, like a military life, and
so we had bought a house and had sold one
and used all of our cash to put a deposit
on the second house. So when he passed, we really
didn't have any cash reserve. I couldn't even pay for
(18:16):
his funeral. I actually had to put the life insurance
policy up against the funeral, so when life insurance came out,
funeral home got paid and then the life insurance came
to me. And I also did not have a lot
of credit in my own name. I was an authorized
user on many of his credit cards, and as soon
as your report that someone passed, you closed down their
line of credit. And I was left with not a
(18:39):
lot of credit to be able to support life with
no income and no life insurance that was getting held
up because of the payment process. That was tough, and
that sent me into a feeling of lack and being scared,
being vulnerable, which lasted well into the first year.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I think that's important to realize because a lot of people,
especially if they say that, you know, maybe the credit
cards aren't joined, like there's an authorized and then I
think they don't realize that that is gone or that
that will go away, and that can be definitely complicated,
especially if there's not enough cash or money on hand
(19:20):
that you could liquidate easily and luckily you did have
an insurance. Because another thing that sometimes is avoided is
talking about proper life insurance because it's uncomfortable to talk about.
Same with estate planning. I will see some hesitation for
some clients who just don't they know it's on the
list of things to do. It's just it's one of
(19:41):
those things that's not there's no real pressure to get
it done. It doesn't hurt to not have it done
until it's too late and you needed it.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
You know.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
That's when the people who've been executors or who've done that,
they're the ones that are like, I'm getting this done
because I am not putting some somebody else do that.
So I think that is something that you know, people
should really pay attention to as their family changes, as
their needs change, their real estate, all of those things,
and make sure.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
That it's enough.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yeah, because we really don't know, you know, obviously we
don't know how long you know, any of us are
going to be here. But I think it is one
of those things that is just we also all we
know that at some point hopefully our children will outlive on,
you know, and I think that that's just one of
those things that really can't be stressed enough in our work.
(20:36):
Is just to make sure that those things are taken
care of.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Yeah, when I share my story with some clients or
maybe a new prospect that just kind of get referred
to me and I'm like, hey, do you know my
background right? And I need to share it with you,
even if it's just a highlight of I became a widow,
flip my career on its head, and now this is
what I do.
Speaker 5 (20:54):
Because I'm going to.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Harp on financial planning and cash reserve, I'm going to
harp on life insurance, and I'm going to harp on
the state documents because those are the three things that
protected me in those days. So I just talked about
that lean few months.
Speaker 5 (21:09):
Period, right.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
But the reason we had life insurance because my husband
I did work with a financial advisor in our young
twenties before we sold our first home and moved abroad.
It was that financial advisor that got us to life insurance.
Speaker 5 (21:21):
It was that.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Financial advisor who made sure my estate documents were intact
before we traveled to Italy and to see what decisions
could be made for us if we lived internationally and
something happened to my husband, like those were really sensitive
topics that he threw in front of us and was
like he's law enforcement, We're getting some life insurance.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
Let's go.
Speaker 4 (21:42):
And I will always be thankful, always be thankful for that.
And so that is really one of those key pillars
of what I do, was the advice I got that
protected me.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
So I love that you bring that up.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yeah, And I think that that's you know, it's important
to share your story. And I think that it's probably
going to be some you know, the thing that helps
your clients, you know, even knowing going into it. This
is something that I care about, and I've seen that
with other people who have shared deeply, you know, personal
experiences like some of the estate want a state planning attorney.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I know she almost lost.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Her life in childbirth and she's very outamant on guardianship.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
And I think that's just kind of what makes us.
It compels us to do what we're doing.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Like you said, sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable and unpleasant,
but it's like it's enough to get past that.
Speaker 5 (22:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
I've often said to someone that's been on the phone, like, Okay,
I kind of do financial planning different.
Speaker 5 (22:36):
So I'm going to.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Like, mommy, you like And if you're not comfortable with that,
then I'm not the advisor for you. I will give
you a recommendation to some other people, but I am
in your business and I am going to be like
step by stepping, like did you do it?
Speaker 5 (22:49):
Did you do it? Did you do it?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
But that's that's my approach because I need to sleep
at night. I like a nice seven to eight hours
I do. I hit fifty and I hit the wall.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
That was it? Like? And now we're six kids? Maybe
that's what did it? Like fourteen to twenty two?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Oh my but because we do think about it, and
some of us do think about it, some of us
might not, you know, But I was I was talking
to somebody who was like, okay, like when do you
want to decide? I was like, well, very you know, quickly,
because if we're gonna work together, like I'm going to start.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Making sure that these things are getting done. And I
just need to.
Speaker 7 (23:21):
Know if we need already worrying about it, brain for
this or you know, or if you're moving on, because
I just I just have to have an answer because
it is it's it's hard to you know, to make
people do anything.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
But I do think that sometimes it helps if people
are with the right person, you know, to say like, Okay,
well if I don't want to do this, but Donna
really wants me to do it, I'll.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Get it done.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Because sometimes we don't do things for ourselves because we
kind of were like, oh, move on, or maybe I
should pay for this instead. So I think having that
person that kind of you know is also also cares
can kind of be slightly motivating. If you're somebody that
puts off taking care of yourself.
Speaker 5 (24:04):
You might need.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
To come in and help you.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
I wanted to talk about your blended family, because I
do think that that's something that is a whole different
that's certainly certainly common, and I think that it's just
a kind of adds a different layer to financial planning.
And some people are looking for like what's the right way.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
To do it?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
And I don't know if there's necessarily a right way,
But what are some of the things that you think
are is important for you know, couples coming together with
maybe they have businesses, children already, you know in the picture,
what are some tips you have for those couples to
do things move away.
Speaker 4 (24:39):
I'm blended families come in all different shapes and sizes, right, Like,
sometimes it can be a very committed relationship, but you
don't formally get married. Right, that's a whole different consideration
than like Jim and I who did get married two
years ago. When I say, different consideration for things like
who's in charge of the kids if something should happen
to me, who has rights to make decisions over the
(25:00):
children medically as well as one another? Right, Yeah, it's
a little hard. I've seen in my practice so many
people that just for health care decisions, right, I'm going
to use my grandmother as the as the example, she
lived with.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
My uncle Al for forty years.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
That was like my grandfather. I knew no difference, and
they just weren't formally married.
Speaker 5 (25:23):
Well, when he got.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Sick in his late eighties, she couldn't make any medical
decisions for him.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Right, So here.
Speaker 4 (25:29):
Comes his kids, who I mean, I grew up with
him every Sunday eating Progi's.
Speaker 5 (25:33):
We're big family. We're big Polish family.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
And I've never seen them, and they're making decisions over
the man that she loved and cared for into his eighties.
So a lot of it is protection. And so I
think a lot of his one conversation two. If he
can't say it, then map it out. Or you don't
need a big flip chart on the dining room table.
You can actually just do a quick inventory of things
(25:55):
that you have flows of income so that the other
person can just be aware, right, And sometimes you have
to be really vulnerable and honest about that and then
truly get professional help where you need it, whether that
is through a trusted attorney to do a prenup, whether
it's a trusted attorney to just do an updated will
with guardianship, executorship, power of attorneys, or whether it is
(26:19):
actually someone to help guide that conversation, a financial planner
or a counselor family marriage counselors. They really get excited
when it's a healthy, growing, new relationship coming in asking like, hey,
give us some tips on how we can talk better
about money or bigger decisions with the kids versus so
many of them here in philadelf You are trying to
keep marriages together, right like, instead of trying to open
(26:42):
that communication. And when we were for someone out to
like a marriage and family counselor and it's in a
good way, they're very excited and thankful for that recommendation.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Or I think it's just a different conversation because it's
like when you have two people that are working together
on the common goal and they're excited about it. I
think that's something that you can accomplish so much, yeah,
so much faster, and so I think that just might
be unique, you know, And I think that's why we
like working with you know, I like working with people
who maybe are looking at Okay, we're here now.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
But we want to we want to do this business,
we want to move here.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
We have all these big dreams and goals and I
think that's exciting because you kind of get some of that.
You know, you can kind of feel that it's the
energy on the work. Yeah, you feel the energy and
it's like, okay, let's you know, let's see how we
can all work together on this and get things done.
I think that's a good idea. And you mentioned prenups.
Is that something that you recommend or that you seriously
(27:37):
think people should consider, even if it's not the most
romantic of words. I think a lot of times I
believe that it is important because it's kind of like
any other business that you're making, you are combining, you know,
your financial lives and things like that. So I think
they're important. But what is your take on them? And
(27:58):
you know, should everybody consider it or is it really
in certain situations?
Speaker 5 (28:03):
I am a big fan of them.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
When I talked about like mapping out mine, yours hours theirs, right,
that was actually the framework for our prenup. We have
one right because I had assets that I wanted to
protect from my late husband for my children. Right, I'm
nothing to protect, like Jim's going to run in and
take it from them. But what if something happens, right,
like who knows like this is one thing, the uncertainty
(28:27):
in life you don't.
Speaker 6 (28:28):
Know, right.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
But it was almost like that framework and it was
very easy. We just took it to an attorney, both
of us and were just like, hey, this looked good, okay,
And it was more like what was mine was mine.
Speaker 5 (28:39):
Coming in was his, was his coming in.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
Anything we grew together as a couple was ours, and
that's it. And making sure that we protected one another
with life insurance, right. So he actually took a step
back from his career to help support mine. So he's
got a really good life insurance policy if something happens
to me, right to make or that my income is replaced,
because he took a break from his own marketplace to
(29:04):
be part of our firm, And that was part of
the discussions, not just with the prenup, but with how
are we going to structure this. Some people don't like
the prenups because of the emotional context to it.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
You think are going to leave, you don't have faith
in the marriage. So it's not really about I don't
tell you.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
It's not really about like protecting mine and yours. It's
literally about understanding the parameters.
Speaker 5 (29:26):
Of how we're going to grow what we have together.
Speaker 4 (29:28):
Yeah, so yeah, some of them, where are the roots
of this to grow the tree?
Speaker 3 (29:33):
So I think that's important.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I do think that maybe sometimes that is a conversation
that you know, sometimes you know, first.
Speaker 3 (29:40):
Marriages nearly what they're like, Oh my gosh, no, we
can ever think of it.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Were Sometimes when I'm talking to people who have experienced,
you know, a divorce, there's almost more of a yeah,
things do happen. This is more like, this makes sense because.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
They've lived through some things.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
And so I do think that it isn't necessarily like
a bad you know. I think there's too many situations
where yeah, things aren't necessarily done the way they'd want.
And you're right, some children because some other family members
are now making important decisions, or the money is going
somewhere where we don't think that would have been where
they wanted it to be. And so that's a tough
(30:15):
situation because there's very little you can do if the
law says this is what happens, and that's what happens
in the case when there's no legal documents kind of
saying what you did want to happen, so very important
and also you can put as much emotion behind it
as you want to, or you can look at it
as just another thing that you're doing and taking care of,
kind of like getting the life insurance policy.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
I always referred to like our prenup as the ability
to protect our relationships outside of us, because I will
tell you, like for me, I came from widowhood. For Jim,
he came from divorce, and my extended family was very
protective of me through that whole widowhood journey. And they're
very protective of whether it's their business or not. What
(31:00):
am I doing with the legacy that my late husband
left for me and the kids?
Speaker 5 (31:05):
Now, that's what it's been said to me. The legacy is.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
A life insurance policy that kept us afloat right, Okay,
But at the same time, like if if they needed
to hear the extended family of Jim and I talked
about it. We have our state documents, we have a prenup.
Everything is free, like, everything is very clear and fair.
That's all the extended family and friends needed to not worry.
That's right, And so they don't look as the second marriage,
(31:31):
as you know, someone's trying to get into her like no, right,
like it's like.
Speaker 5 (31:34):
Oh, okay, they took care of that. Done done.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
No, I think that's that's a good that's a good perspective,
and I think that is a great way to kind
of frame it, to be like, no, we've already discussed this,
we worked through it.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Everything is good. Because you're right.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
We do a lot of speculating when everyone likes to
talk about what's happening and oh, this must be their motivation,
and sometimes it's just like, well, no, it's been handled.
Then everyone's eyes are wide open and oh okay.
Speaker 5 (32:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Yeah, that kind of ends that conversation for people. I
wanted to ask you, you know, what are some of
the common mistakes that you see? And this could be
for peace, could be for people entering, you know, widowhood
or with the blended families. Are there any things that
you think that, after doing the work that you've done
(32:24):
and writing the books, that people should be very mindful
of that they might not be thinking about now because
either you've made the mistake or you've seen other people
go through certain things that could have been avoided.
Speaker 5 (32:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I mean the big one.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
I think I almost just touched on it with the
extended family, the people that you care for. You are
so vulnerable many of times in widowhood or post divorce,
because yeah, you've just lost half of everything many of times,
or all of those future dreams. And sometimes you overshare,
right and where people are there to help, and they
(32:57):
are very willing to help, but all of a sudden,
they know all of your assets, they know all of
your flows of income, they know some of your stubborn
weak points. They know what makes you cry pretty easy, right,
and sometimes that's not the best knowledge for other people
to have, right, So you can lose some of your
privacy by oversharing that. It might be feel very comfortable
(33:20):
and protective in the beginning, but three to five years later, like,
it's hard. It's hard for everyone to be in your business.
So I always say, like, find one or two confidants,
those trusted souls that might go with you for a
visit to go interview a financial advisor, accountant on a
state attorney to go with you and hold your hand
(33:41):
if you have to go to Social Security in person. Okay,
but make sure that's a trusted person that you've talked
to them about keeping this information private.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah, that is such an important point.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
I've definitely seen that with divorce and with other situations
where there's been even couples that have gotten back together.
And yeah, it really depends on you know, who you
trust with all of the information that you're sharing. Do
you really want everyone knowing how much money is everywhere?
You know?
Speaker 4 (34:12):
It?
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Can?
Speaker 2 (34:13):
It can be, you know, because everyone might be offering
to listen and help. But I think you're right having
a few people because it might not be something that
everybody needs to know or be aware of. It might
not be their closest people might not be the ones
you should be taking advice from. In certain situations.
Speaker 5 (34:28):
We call that uncle Bobby. Yeah, uncle Bobby might.
Speaker 4 (34:30):
Not be it.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
You might not know what you should be doing in
this situation, or he might be thinking about what would
be best for him in that situation, and he might
be decades old or different, you know, different space in life,
different financial position and all those things.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
So I think that's a great tip.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
To have people find the people they trust in their
circle and even if it's not their best friend or
going or whoever, find the person that can actually give
you good advice and keep your confidence. I think is
super important. Yeah, so you're a speaker now in a
podcast host and an author. What has been the most
rewarding part of educating families about financial transitions for you?
Speaker 4 (35:12):
I think for me, it's been putting these resources out there.
So even if someone is not ready to sit down
with a full financial planner, they don't think. I mean,
I come from a blue collar background, Philadelphia firefighter, and
I would never have pictured myself growing up sitting with
a financial advisor at twenty five, like before I was
going to go move abroad. And I was actually one
(35:33):
of my neighbors that pushed me to it. She's like,
you're at your wheelhouse. Like we were just very used
to being able to cover the budget, right, like that
was it. And so to be able to put resources
out there that people can gather and get educated on
and at least ask good questions if they ever had
the opportunity to sit down with an advisor or a
state of dot a state attorney. But sometimes you just
(35:56):
need that like downloadable resource to sit at the table
and be like, all right, this is our personal document locator.
Let me see where all.
Speaker 5 (36:03):
Your passwords are.
Speaker 4 (36:04):
That little document locator getting the passwords starts that conversation.
So just having those tools out there has been so rewarding.
And when you see someone come in with okay, like
you guys, I've noticed.
Speaker 5 (36:15):
I talked about flip charts.
Speaker 4 (36:16):
Love big flip charts, Love like big markers, and yes,
we can use tech to do it better than me.
But when you see a client come in or even
a friend and they like are unfolding this giant three
foot by two foot flip chart piece of paper because
that's the part of the financial plan that made a difference,
Or they took notes when you were speaking and it
was on a napkin, like at at a luncheon, and
(36:37):
you see them come in with that, that's when you
kind of knew you made a difference, Like you you
tapped into the way they would receive the information.
Speaker 5 (36:45):
And by doing like you.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
Do podcasts and books and TV shows, you're making yourself
and these tools available to whatever way they observe it best.
Speaker 5 (36:54):
And that's been fantastic. I love that.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Yeah, No, I think that is you know, it doesn't
take much.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
I feel like I had somebody who said, like, hey,
actually I raised my fees and all my clients continue
to work with me, and now I'm making x more
or I got a raise, and I'm like that'll keep
me going for like another solid decade.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
Yeah, Like I'm good.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Oh there you go, you know, like peace out, perfect
all right. Like it's it's funny how you know, certain
things are, like you said, even with the book, even
if it gets you to ask a question yea to
yourself a little different, like to rethink something that maybe's
been ingrained, Like maybe you're like, we're blue collar people.
We pay the bills, we get by, and then you're
like something made you think could be a little different,
(37:37):
and like whatever that point was, it's enough to kind
of change the whole trajectory of things, which is just
something that everybody, you know, everybody has their own life
experience and goes through. So I think it's great to just,
you know, to be able to put that information out
there or share it with people in whatever format they.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Choose to accept it.
Speaker 5 (37:56):
That helps people.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
I think it's fabulous.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
So how can people find your book and or your
podcast if they want to learn about working with.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
You or more about your work.
Speaker 5 (38:05):
Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
That is Donna, Jean Kendrick. All of the ladies in
my family, we all have rhyming names. So my mom's Marlene,
my sister Charlene, my aunt is Irene, and I was
Donna Jean.
Speaker 5 (38:17):
So there you go.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
Now you'll remember I went by Donna for the longest time.
I dropped that gene when I got to college, and
now it's back, and I will I will thank the
executor of my will for telling my husband that that
was truly how she knew me growing up.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
She's like, you mean Donna Jean over here.
Speaker 4 (38:32):
He's like, excuse me, Oh, like all six kids, they
don't call me mom or stepmom.
Speaker 5 (38:37):
They refer to me as DJ. Like even the teachers
refer to me as DJ.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
So there you go.
Speaker 5 (38:43):
I love Donagenekendrick dot com.
Speaker 4 (38:45):
That will get you all the books, all the free
downloadable resources, links to the podcast, and just let me
love you up over there.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Oh, thank you so much for sharing your work, your
story and the information on how to find you and
follow you. I think that you know then, from you're
putting out there. It doesn't just it is not just
for people and blended families, not just These are tips
that you can use, really anybody can use to get
more organized. Even if you're making a plan and that
person who has your passwords, is your best friend or
(39:14):
some things taking care of will mean that you know
your wishes, what you want to happen. I mean, families
are looking really different these I mean it could just
be a matter of letting the state decide what happens
with everything.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
You've worked for or you.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
So Fore, these tips are super, super helpful, super universal
for a lot of people.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
So thank you so much for coming on the show.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
And if you're looking to catch up on more episodes
of the podcast, please head over to mister Lynch dot com.
That's where you could find episodes of the podcast, the show,
or order a copy of the book if you want
to ask yourself some money mindset questions just about yourself,
if you're trying to get those financial questions answered, or
maybe think a little bit differently this year about your money.
So thank you everyone so much for joining and we'll
(40:00):
talk again next week.
Speaker 5 (40:02):
Thanks Bessy, thank.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
You for joining us on another insightful episode of demonst
Buying Money. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate and.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Leave a review.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Stay tuned for more engaging conversations on our next episode,
and remember knowledge is the key to financial empowerment.
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