January 27, 2025 • 45 mins
In this episode of Demystifying Money, Misty Lynch sits down with Serena Hicks to discuss money mindset and enjoying the process of financial growth. Tune in to learn how to cultivate a healthier relationship with your money and elevate your financial well-being.
Where to find Misty
Websites: Instagram: @mistylynchcfp
- Understanding business as a spiritual and magical practice
- Embracing the journey of financial growth and loving what is
- Shifting perspectives on pricing and offering value
- Overcoming the shame and guilt related to financial mistakes
- Cultivating a sweet and intentional relationship with money
- Website: www.serenahicks.com
- Instagram: @xoxoserenahicks
- Facebook: @xoxoserenahicks
- LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/xoxoserenahicks
Where to find Misty
Websites: Instagram: @mistylynchcfp
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the demist Defying Money Podcast, where each week
you will hear unforgettable conversations with expert guests about success, money, business,
and small steps you can take to elevate your life
and wealth. Now here's your host, Misty Lynch.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hello, everyone, Thank you so much for joining us for
the Demistifying Money Podcast. I am so excited to be
here today with Serena Hicks. She is my money mindset mentor,
and she is a black biracial money mindset mentor for
Love Led Humans, and so we are kind of hoping
that this will be a great conversation for a lot
of you listening. I know a lot of you care
(00:40):
very deeply about what's going on in your business, what's
going on in the world other people, and also you
have some concerns or thoughts or ideas about money that
you're looking to either improve or explore. So Serena is
the perfect guest to have on the show, and we're
going to talk today about really enjoying the process and
enjoying what is right now because a lot of us
(01:00):
maybe we're not exactly where we want to be financially,
or maybe we are thinking things are taking too long
or maybe we see other people and we think, well,
you know, what's wrong with you? Why can I do this?
And I think that Serena is just a wonderful mentor
when it comes to really understanding the process of understanding
our relationship with money so we can improve it. So, Serena,
(01:21):
thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Thank you for having me Misty, and hey everybody.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
This episode of Demystifying Money with Misty Lynch is proudly
sponsored by Soundview Financial Advisors. Visit www dot Soundview financial
Advisors dot com to learn more.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I'd love to start with you and this my I
know a lot of my listeners feel this way in
certain parts of their life. They're either WO adjacent or
slightly WO. So you describe your business as a spiritual
and magical practice. Can you elaborate on what that means
in a way that you know others can maybe think
about or try to tap into when they think about
(02:00):
their business.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Thank you for that. I describe myself as completely WU,
and I want everyone to be advised because I think
even the most science y things like where do babies
come from? Is completely WU. It's like we can explain
things with science and yet I'm like, but we can't.
There's just magic business as a spiritual practice. I think
of it almost like a yoga practice, because I definitely
(02:23):
used to think many years ago there was this idea
and it was almost it was unconscious, but there was
this idea that like I'd get in business and then
I'd make a certain amount of money and or I'd
have a certain amount in my retirement. And the idea
was always like, there's a finish line, and when I
cross the finish line, then I will be happy. Then
I will be safe, then I can relax. And now
(02:46):
I feel like the finish line is the day I die,
and I probably won't get a memo beforehand, and so
not sure I want a memo beforehand, but like, definitely
it's the It's my way of saying, like, happiness is
not the destin nation, it is the way to travel
on the journey. And I think with money in particular,
it's so easy because of like the social norms. You
(03:08):
know this more than most and I'm sure your listeners,
it's so easy to be like, yeah, I will be
happy when XYZ is true with my financial situation, and
it's like even if that takes a month, do you
want to be asleep to your life for that month?
And what if it takes twenty years? And so I'm
quoting Byron Katie when I'm talking about loving what is
(03:30):
as in actually not gaslighting ourself, not just saying I
love this when we're like not into it, but finding
ways to appreciate where we are and what we're doing
so that the process itself is satisfying.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I think it's great that you acknowledge that because a
lot of times people are like, Okay, I can try
to feel abundant. I can try to maybe you know,
say affirmations that I am, but our brains, you know,
they don't believe us. So I think that there is
something that is important about maybe understand you know, thinking
(04:05):
about the process or where you are, what you've done
to get all the thing, you know in a way
that maybe you can feel more neutral about or even
just you know, appreciation. And I think that you hit
you talk about that very well because this is something
that I've even struggled with, and when I even started
working with you was really you know, I want to
be there. I keep looking forward in ahead, which has
(04:27):
made me a very like goal oriented successful person but
but not always appreciating that. I years ago, I was thinking,
when I make fifty thousand dollars a year, I am
going to be set. I am going to be like
I when I remember graduating college and thinking like, that
is it that will put me in a position where
(04:48):
I'm making more money than you know, most of the
people I know, but my family and I and I
was really just feeling like at that point, then I
will feel good, and that that goal keeps moving from
and further away. So how do you help people learn
how to truly appreciate or find those things that they
can say, yes, I do believe this, this is true
(05:11):
for me versus I am a money magnet. And here it.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Comes okay, which is so perfect because I've told people
like just say I'm a money magnet. It's like exactly
what you said. Sometimes they're into it, and other times
they're like, it's not working. It's like poking the bear.
And so it's a zen practice. It is a part
of what I love about this work, and for anyone listening,
I believe it's my sacred work. And you know, I'm
(05:37):
a truck driver's daughter and I filed a bankruptcy in
two thousand and eight, and I want to clarify for
people before the whole Bernie made Off implosion of the economy,
like the bankruptcy was basically a failed startup business that
I tried on my own with credit cards. I mean
not basically, that's what it was. And so I have
I have so many examples for my real life. Like
(05:59):
we grew up, there was always food, housing, clothing, but
also there was never enough, like there was always plenty.
I'm grateful that you know. We were never on house.
There was never food scarcity. I went to private school
for years, but like there was never enough was the vibe.
And so I genuinely believe it is like a zen practice.
It honors the divine for those who prefer a religious
(06:19):
point of view, but it's about having what is and
being in the present moment. And all of my favorite
spiritual teachers and most religious leaders talk about you know,
when we're in a fearful future, or even when we're
in a fantasy future, you know it's going to be
great when this happens. When we're in a fearful or
a fantasy future, we're not here, and when we're remembering
(06:43):
a painful past, or even when we're idolizing the past,
remember when it was so great, when such and such
was happening, We're not here, And I think that heart
totally is the power of now is like the best
business book and lifebook, and I dare even say money book,
because when we're here, we're here. And as far as like,
how can people learn to to if not believe, be
(07:07):
open to you know what? Money is easy for me
now and I think it's both simple and complex, and
that's where I love making that it's a spiritual practice
or a zen practice, sort of like yoga. It's so
simple that it is complex, like you are a yoga
if you show up to a yoga class, even if
that yoga class is in your head or on YouTube.
It's so simple that it's complicated because our brains are
(07:29):
not wired for actual change or thriving, like our brains
are wired to keep us alive and survive, which means
scam for problems and solve them. So our brains are
always looking into the future. What if we run out
of money, you know, what if the market crashes, what
if it's not enough? And that's why I think it's
a spiritual practice to constantly walk ourselves back to the
(07:50):
present moment.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I think that's something that's very challenging for people. I
hear people all the time that say, well, I would
do this, I would invest or, I would you know,
say money. But what if, like what if the banks
all close? Like all of these things that we can create,
all these scenarios in our head to keep us from
doing exactly what we did yesterday in the day before.
Because you're right, our brain wants us to survive. It
(08:14):
does not want us to thrive. It doesn't it does
job not its job exactly. And so there's a lot
of times when I'll talk to people and then you know,
they really have to either we really have to frame
things differently as far as getting them to actually be like, well, yes, no,
I understand that is what you know, Like what do
you think? You know, what do you think Warren Buffett's
(08:35):
doing right now today? Well, probably dumping money, you know.
But you know it's easy to think like, but that's
for them, not for me. And so I think there
are a lot of ways where our brain's in business
and with money, you do, I wouldn't say work against us,
but they can't potentially hold us back quite a bit.
And so you know, when you're talking, we said, because
(08:56):
you mentioned, you know, bankruptcy, you mentioned, you know, really
having to go through you know, some of the things
that are the worst fears that people talk about that
prevent them from starting a business. HM say, but what
if it goes what if I'm bank or what if
I have credit card debt? So how you know, how
is your journey? You know, what kind of shifts and
actions did you take that kind of took you from that, yeah,
(09:19):
to the place where you're at now, where you're able
to help other people see, you know, how to achieve
a bonance.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
It's again, it's my it's my spiritual practice, but it's
my sacred work. I did everything wrong. So when I
filed bankruptcy, I could give you all the gory details,
but the very short version is I called a family
member and they screamed and like, this is so awful
and shameful. And I completely took that story on and
I just about died of the shame of it. I
kid you not. I gained like thirty pounds basically overnight.
(09:49):
I stopped dating. I mean I was dating, but I
genuinely believe I was unworthy of love, like I would
play it in my head on a date, and like
what if we fall in love? And what if he
asked me to marry him? Like I guess I would
have to tell him I have a banker see on
my credit and if he then married me, it would
ruin everything because it would tank him. So like, okay,
I can't get married for at least until you know
when I was playing the eight year game, turns out
it with my record for ten years. And what I
(10:11):
think is so heartbreaking and therefore valuable, is I absolutely associated,
and so many people do. And I still sometimes catch
myself pulling the shit even now. It's still a practice.
I associated my love ability, my inherent worthiness to love
and belong to myself and other humans, to my credit score, Yes,
(10:34):
to my net worth which was like two dollars. And
it's so a social norm and it's so wrong in
my opinion. It goes against God, the divine. You are
born worthy. Yes, people, you can make mistakes, and yes,
(10:55):
if you murder people and do things I do believe like,
we need to put you in jail, so you don't
like make a habit out of it. But there's one
hundred percent. Like you know, people love to forget this,
including myself, but I was thinking about it recently. Abraham
Lincoln filed bankruptcy twice, and Abraham Lincoln also did some
really cool shit, and you know, none of it made
(11:18):
him absolutely lovable or not lovable as a human. But
it's just our ego, our self concept, and it's you know,
let's not all just file bankruptcy for sport. I mean,
there are consequences and repercussions, and yet for anyone, like
my dream, it hasn't happened yet. But I'm like, sadly
probably this coming year in twenty twenty five, but one
of my dreams is to you know, privately coach someone
(11:40):
who's considering or has filed, or chooses to file bankruptcy.
Because I spent about seven years just choking on shame
and physical pain, mental suffering, and none of it made
the world a better place. None of it put money
in my pocket or anyone else's pocket, none of it
allowed me to employ other people. It was such a
(12:02):
perpetuation of self loathing, self shame, and smalling down in
the world, and I desperately desire to be honest, to
support someone else in making the choice from a clear
eyde this has nothing to do with my lovelability. It's
a legal option in the United States at this point.
And if it's one that is actually going to help
them be free so that they can long term do
(12:26):
more good in the world, then hard yes.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
And it's just fascinating how our culture associates, you know,
there should be such desperate shame. And again it's like
everyone doesn't want their house repode, their car repode, or
to file of bankruptcy, like we're on the same page,
but it doesn't disqualify them from contributing.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yeah, and I think that that's something that a lot
of people, you know, they they're reluctant, like you said,
to get you know, mentor coaching else because they, yeah,
why would I I am not worth that. I don't
deserve that. That is for the people who are successful.
That is for the people who have their you know,
they have their together and can figure this out instead
of thinking no, Like, I think there's so many ways
(13:07):
that that coaching even you know, whatever, however accessible it
can be, whether it's one on one or if that's
not part of what you can afform it. And like
there's other things, or even following people that you feel
you can connect to or you feel like sometimes they
make you think about something a little bit differently. I
think can have a major impact on your maybe next
best step, or getting out of that spiral of shame.
(13:31):
And because it's it's it's very difficult to get out.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Of that what it is I did?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Those eight years pass, you're still you thinking those thoughts
over and over again, even if now it's gone, will
replace it something else we've done.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Ron it was such a revolution when I and it
was I'd sort of jumped into coaching and all these
different things that happened. But it's like almost, it's not almost.
What happened is I did a one to eighty. I
suddenly realized all these ways that I'd shame myself. I
was like, actually, I'm resilient. All these times I told
myself I'm bad with money, I'm good with money. Fun fact,
it's legal for people to file bankruptcy like this. It's
(14:07):
built into businesses laural like, of course I've been beating
myself up with like, you know, the banks, I robbed
the banks. I probably cost someone their job. No, this
happens all the time, and something that like makes me wins,
and I just want to offer it to your clients.
Is I had maybe forty thousand dollars in credit card debt. Again,
I'd started up and I couldn't get loans, so I
was using my credit cards because that's what you did
in two thousand and seven. And I'm like, oh my god,
(14:27):
people file bankruptcy for fifty million dollars for two million dollars,
and I'm over here smalling myself down, choking myself. It
suddenly became it's almost as if I was able to
see through the divine's eyes, like it's what you were
making it mean, and you have not been doing life
(14:48):
or thriving or being an example. So here's a very
extreme As you know, I enjoy extreme examples, but fear listeners.
I wanted to say warning. I remember being in high
school and someone came to speak to our student body,
and the long story sure is they were recovered alcoholic
or recovering alcoholic, who drove drunk one night and killed
a family and they were very regretful of that, and
(15:10):
they chose to share their story about don't drink and
drive not because it could bring that family back to life.
But what I valued and what I want to offer
as the example is they knew that if they just
lived in shame and drank themselves to death, or lived
in shame and never spoke of it, that wasn't better.
They could do anything, and they were worthy soul, but
they were like I want to use this situation and
(15:31):
I want to hopefully help other people not make the
mistakes I made, Like I want to transmute it into
some form of good. I want to honor what can
never be back, like I can't bring this family back
to life, but I want to honor what I took
by attempting to pour into others and contribute positively in
the world instead of letting my shame, you know, hide
(15:53):
my story and their story. And I think that that
is always the opportunity. And I think that we actually
live in a friendly universe. And I genuinely believe that
money and our relationship to money energetically, not just what
we say, but how we feel about it is an
absolute mirror or a cross section for our relationship with life.
Do we trust it, do we think more is coming?
(16:13):
Do we think we're inherently worthy? Are we willing to
do our part in the partnership, in the relationship, are
we willing to make mistakes?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, I think that one of the things you said
is that that person that shared their story, it was
a choice. They made that choice. You know, they had
all of these options. They could not obviously rewrite the past,
but they could choose what they did with it. And
I think all of us have that, And I think
that we have that when it comes to our money story,
when it comes to our business, when it comes to
(16:43):
you know, how we feel about all the relationships in
our lives. I think that there's there's a lot of
times where we feel like somebody else has to do
something in order for things to change, and we just
sit and wait patiently for that time to come without
really realizing that there's quite a bit that we can
do to change all of everything based on you know,
the thoughts and how we choose to you know, how
(17:04):
we choose to act, how we choose to respond, and
what we want to do next. Yes, you mentioned another
thing though. When I think this comes up a lot,
you know about you know, those feelings and thoughts that
people have. And one of the things that you spoke
about once that I thought had a lot of a
large impact on me when I was starting on business
was pricing and even the necklace that you're wearing right now,
(17:27):
because I remember the story that you told about the
necklace that you're wearing right now, because a lot of
us feel like I can't ask for this because it's
going to make people feel a certain way. It's going
to you know, we're a shame, we're nervous about looking
greedy hearing no all of those stories, and so I
think that one of the things that was very helpful
(17:47):
for me was even the way that you look at
pricing and offering value and just really how people can
look at that instead of really staying small and just
kind of trying to not offend anybody. Oh, if you
of mine, I'd love for you to tell tho just
kind of that story. Yeah, and if your thoughts about
pricing and how if people are feeling that selfed out
(18:07):
or they don't want to themselves out, how they can
how they can look at things differently.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yeah, that makes an I want everyone to know it's
not actually about you. I want to normalize I have
a brain, I've changed. You've been with me long enough
that you've seen my pricing at just so like I
don't want to. I don't want anyone to think I'm
on like some glorious soapbox, and I'm like, what's wrong
with you? Nothing's wrong with you. You're human and if
you have a human brain, you will because belonging is
a human imperative. Be worried about people thinking you're greedy
(18:32):
and therefore rejecting you and or thinking you know, that's
a human experience. And why I love business again as
a spiritual practice is part of it is like, but
what do I have to offer? What might they want?
And if I focus on what they might want? We've
all heard that super cheesy, but it's cliche for a reason,
Like if you have the cure for cancer, would you
be so worried about what people think? Or would you
be like, I just want to make sure they know.
(18:53):
I want to make sure they know I have it.
If they want it, I got it. If they don't,
not a problem. So the story, Thank you. I love
this necklace, as you know, it's so good. It's malakite.
For those who are just listening, it's just golden malakite.
And I actually went to this Byron Katy event she
teaches the concept of loving what is, and I was
just all blissed out and was just like life's perfect.
And I decided I wanted to get myself a trinket
(19:13):
to remember the It was March of twenty three. So
I end up in the gift shop at the hotel
and I see this necklace and I think it's great,
and so I asked the nice girl behind the counter, like,
can I see that necklace? And she says yes, and
then she pulls it out. I'm asking her, oh, and
how much is it? And you guys, I'm thinking it's
like two fifty two hundred and fifty dollars, maybe three fifty.
But like I'm you know, I'm like, oh, this is perfect.
(19:34):
That's a that's a worthwhile spend. And she says, oh, yeah,
it's three thousand dollars, and it literally took my breath away.
I was not anticipating a three thousand dollar necklace in
the hotel gift shop, and I was not planning on
a three thousand dollar purchase. And just your clear, I've
never had an impulse three thousand dollar necklace buy. Just
that's That's where I'm at, y'all, And keep in mind.
(19:54):
By the time I'm buying this necklace, I've made millions
of dollars as a coach. It's it's you know, there's
there's it's just that's not where I my money. And literally,
I like gasped, and she looks at me. I look
at her wide eyed and like three thousand dollars and
she's like yeah, I'm like, well, I'm not paying that,
and she blinks and keep in mind, you guys, this
is the twenty year old shop girl who I later
(20:15):
found out makes no commission. So it's valuable to note
she has no skin in this game. She is unbothered,
unlike those of us who are service providers, who would
be like, she's judging me.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
She thinks it's too much.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
She don't give a shit. She's just so. She literally
just asked me, okay, so what do you want to do?
Do you want to try it on? Because she's in service,
she just wants to knows she's supposed to put it
back in the case. And I was like, well, let me,
I'll try it on. So I try it on and
thirty seconds later, I'm like, yeah, okay, I'm buying it,
and I think it's such a great clean example, as
(20:48):
you said, because she had no skin in the game.
She it's not personal for her. Just tell me, crazy lady,
if you want to try the necklace on or not.
I understand her not buying it for three thousand and
yet when I put it on my person, I was like,
I mean, I have the money and I'm really buying it,
Like that was no brainer. And I just think thank
God that she was like, Okay, what do you want
(21:10):
to do? Do you want to try it on? Because
she'd just been like okay, I'm sorry and put it
back in the case. And you guys, misty mentions this
necklace I'm wearing. I've worn it like basically every day
of my life since March of twenty three. So, like
the cost per were on a three K investment, I
think we're below like three dollars a day. And then
it was a valuable thing that I shared with my
(21:30):
clients because I thought, oh, even I have been in
a situation where I've named my price and someone's like, oh,
that's a lot of money, and I would like shrink
down and be like, oh my god, they're judging me.
And something I teach my clients in the Boom Boom Room,
which is my lifetime access program, is be quiet, not
as a sales technique, but like money is primal for everyone,
(21:53):
so give them the time and space to let it settle.
And I remember a private client years ago. I am
much more seasoned now, but years ago, at that time,
I charged ten thousand for six months of private work.
And I remember she said, WHOA, that's a lot of money.
And I remember being quiet instead of being like, I know,
but I'm a really good coach. Nobody cares, nobody cares.
(22:13):
We don't need to prove her value. So I just
sat there quietly and she literally was like, but that's
what a lot of other people charge who I like,
And I know, I really want to work with you,
and I fully intend to get my ROI And the
whole time I'm biting my tongue and she just walks
herself through it. She's like, Okay, my husband won't like this.
I'll need to take it out of like my money,
(22:36):
if you will, Okay, I'd like to move forward. And
I didn't bully her, I didn't pressure her. I didn't
defend my price point. And I think, in particular for
women in business, there are men who feel this way too,
but in particular because of how women are socialized to
be helpers. It's so easy to have all of these
fascinating and irrelevant thoughts about our price point. And I
(22:59):
like this now. I'm obsessed with this analogy right now.
Everyone think of an airplane, like on a long haul flight,
there's first class, there's business class, and there's economy class
that airplane. If you fly from Dallas to London, you're
going to get there, doesn't matter if you're in the
middle seat in economy near the toilets, or if you've
got some premiere seat in first class. You're going to
the same place. And there are different options available at
(23:21):
different price points because people are in different tax brackets.
Like for some people, three K for the first class
is nothing. And I think where people get in trouble
is we're using all of our judgments in their business
and you know, we're thinking, oh, my price is expensive. Well,
maybe your price seems expensive to you, but people spend
one hundred thousand dollars on handbacks and if that's your client,
(23:45):
then your price may not be interesting. If that's not
your client, that's okay too. But it's so unnecessary, and
it's such a burden to worry about what other people
can or can't afford. And it's also I think, perpetuating
(24:05):
a lack of agency when we live on this planet
that has zoom and an internet and or phones and
we're pretending like, no one can afford my price. And
I'm like, that may be true, but everyone who tells
me that, so far, it's never been true, and they've
been perpetuating that experience because they're ashamed of their price
or they're not offering a price, and too often people
work for way too little, and then they get resentful
(24:27):
of their clients, and then they say business doesn't work.
And it's like, friend, if we think of our business
and we caretake our business, including our price point, the
way we think of children or pets who we like,
it's just a matter of provisioning. If the price point
allows you to provide a service where you're somewhat well
rested and clear headed and can provide the service that
you actually provide and not like need seven hundred jobs,
(24:51):
then it's the right price for the right client. And
then it's on us to find the client who is
ready and resourced, not just financially, but so emotionally, time
ready and resource to be like that's what I want.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah. And I think even working with a lot of
people and seeing how they spend their money, I think
a lot of times we make these assumptions and a
lot of times we're wrong. I have seen clients who
have millions of dollars that would not spend more than
forty dollars on a haircut, because that is it's ridiculous,
it would never happen. Then I have other people that
were like, oh, yeah, absolutely, I'll fly to New York
City to get my hair cout for six hundred dollars
(25:25):
because I want the result?
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Do you know me?
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Do you want the result? And so you might think
that you know what people are going to say or
how they're going to react, and I would say that
you really should just give them the opportunity to yes,
process it and decide for themselves that they want to do.
Because we don't know, we have no idea what people value.
It can be very different than what you might just
assume based on the information that you have in front
(25:50):
of you. Like that woman at the storage, she could
have been like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Never mind,
like look at this one. This is thirty dollars. This
isn't real. Instead of just being like, okay, so want
to try it? What like what do you want to do?
And then you could be like, well, yeah, actually I
want it. And I feel like we've all been in
those situations where it's really we either want the result
(26:12):
or we want the value. We and we might make
a new purchase, it might make a decision to work
with somebody. We might you know, and I think a
lot of times it isn't just like you said, the
end result of having it it is okay, you know
what happens next. Even when people invest in When I
invested in coaching, I was in a happy like place.
I was in a job that paid well and I
(26:32):
liked it, but I wasn't exactly where it was. And
it's just even in all the investments I made in
my own brain have been on paper, confusing to other
people or not exactly you know, it doesn't make sense
all the time, and I think, but to me, it's it,
and it's you know, it's one of those things that matters.
And I think sometimes we have we also have to
(26:52):
deal with you know, sometimes maybe people don't understand our
vision or they don't understand fully what we are thinking
about doing, and it can make us feel out of
place sometimes. So when you when you're working with those
clients that you coached and those consultants, you know, how
do you help them reconcile that vision and the fact
that everyone else is like, okay, just be happy.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
I think it's I think it's a I think it's
one of my gifts and I just want to normalize women, humans, men,
anyone owning our gifts. Is So, if you're into human design,
I told you guys, I was woo, if you're into
human deside, I'm a projector for six and I was like,
what does that mean? And when people have gone through
it with me, they're like, oh, you actually see things
and you're able to show people things. So I genuinely
(27:35):
think it's one of the things outside of my coaching
and my teaching that I get to offer, and I
want to tell everyone. It starts in the consult. It's
not necessarily something that they're going to pick up on
my social media, but it's like we do a one
hour consult. We talk about their specific life and situation
and what I there's like a feeling in my belly
that I get that. I think that my whether they
hire me or not, but certainly those who do clients,
it's like something clicks in where they recognize just what
(27:58):
you said. Their vision is the vision. It is their leadership,
It is their innovation, It is part of what they
are bringing as a leader, a love led leader to
their community, their household, their city, their state. They understand
everyone doesn't see it the way they see it. This
is the point, Like this is the torch they carry,
and I think that's It's like the King Arthur's story.
(28:21):
It's like this is actually pulling the sword from the stone.
Those moments where we respect our vision and we respect
that everyone else can't see it and we are able
to see, Like, yeah, man, that's the point. Like this
is for me the steward and caretake. And I think
of it almost I'm thinking of my sister in law
(28:42):
who she and my little brother used science and technology
to conceive they were not able to do so the
quote old fashioned way, and yet I'm like it's still
old fashioned because at one point I don't remember all
the technical terms. Everybody, but you know, they're like we
can't implant the embryo until your numbers are it, and
I think the numbers was supposed to be twenty five
or higher. And they tested and she was at like
(29:03):
fourteen and she threw a proper fit and was like,
it's time, we're gonna try it. And they were like,
it's not gonna work. We've like pup up up up
bah bah bah. And of course that's how she conceived
and ultimately delivered my nephew. And just using that as
an example, she had no right quote to have that vision,
(29:23):
according to all of the science and doctors that they
were paying large amounts of money to. But something in
her belly said no, no, no, no, no, no no, now, this
is what we're going to do. And as a reminder,
she had no guarantees, just like with money investments, like
she had the opposite of guarantees. She had the people
that she paid being like, I don't think, yeah, you're
(29:44):
gonna lose some time money and plan on crying a lot.
And she trusted herself and her vision and her connection
to the divine enough to air quotes risk losing that
money that time and of course being disappointed, and ultimately
it led to the reward, and I think that's the
key thing. And I know we take out on this
(30:04):
with money in life as love led leaders, there will
always be risk, and everyone wants to make a move
when there's no risk and that's an unavailable option.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Yeah, there's always a risk, and I think a lot
of times, you know, there's it's because people are looking
for that, They're looking for that guaranteed, you know, no risk,
high reward option and unfortunately it's not there. And so
that's one of the things that most most of the
time when I you know, even when I decided, you
(30:33):
know that I was a financial planner, but I wanted
to get a life coaching certification, which nobody thought was
a good idea. What is the point of that that's
what I got or why would you waste your time
doing that? But I was like, no, I think that
most of the problems my clients have isn't that they
don't have the right return or the proper diversification of
their portfolio. They can't pull the trigger on half of
(30:55):
the things that they're telling me. They want to do,
the businesses they want to start, the lives they want
to live, homes, they want all of the things that
they want to do are down to basically the decisions
that they make. It's not about having enough money or
being in the right spot in your career, because there's
still all those things that can hold them back. So
I felt like, in my head, no.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
This makes sense, it makes perfect going for it right.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
But to others it was like, well, go take a
sales training course so you can figure out what people's
biggest fear is and then you could just dial into
that until they say yes, which is like you said
that bullying, that feeling that just didn't feel it didn't
feel right to me, It felt gross. The traditional financial
advisor sales track all of those things. I loved working
(31:43):
with money. I loved that, you know, making things happen
with money, but also that it kind of and that's
another thing that I think that you talk about is
kind of that integrity in business, because I feel like
if it doesn't feel right and there's no alignment, there's
always going to be something breaking it down. So once
it's in alignment, even if you're the only person that
makes sense to it, could cleared that path. So when
(32:05):
you think about integrity, especially with some people that are like, hey,
I just want to make some money, help me make
money's arena.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
I can't help them because of the lack of integrity.
Just to be clear, it's not a judgment, although you
guys need to know I's anarchy bitch, totally woo, but like,
don't think I'm a same but that's not my like, oh,
I can't help them. I can't help them because energetically
it's not a match. So if you just want to
speak in quantum physics, if you're coming from I need
more money. I just want to make money. I don't
care about other people, then that's what the universe has
to deliver to you. And we'll loop it back to
(32:32):
pricing because sometimes people try to do like super low
pricing from that, like I'll just da da da, and
then they attract like super cheap people who are super
complaining and they like can't figure it out. And one
of the things that I want to offer myself as example,
you know, my business, I came at boom blah blah
blah blah blah, and then in twenty twenty two and
twenty three in the coaching community, in the corner of
(32:52):
the coaching community that I live in, and you know,
it's a big world, but in my little corner, that
was all this price shaming, and so I like suddenly
stopped offering premium. I stopped thinking of my services as premium,
and I think that was a disservice to my entire community.
And now I'm like, it's cool. Now I have even
more to offer everyone, because back to my airplane analogy, like, look,
you don't want to pay for first class experience or
(33:13):
first class pricing, get an economy feet like there's no
wrong choice here. But I will not be yet another
woman not to mention, a woman of color being shamed
for choosing to have respect and dignity for my skills
and my services and the people who pay me. Because
fun fact, and I want everyone to write this down.
I literally learned this from one of my clients, and
(33:33):
I quote, look, nobody has to hire me, No one
has to pay me. You either choose to pay for
my services or you do without my services. Like I'm
not forcing anyone ever, and I think that's where you're doing.
How often the story in business is like so and
so forced their premium pricing, and I'm like, you know what,
(33:56):
no one ever says that about buying house. The real
estate agent forced me to make that one hundred fifty
thousand dollars home purchase, because we all know, like your
grown as adult, if you decided to make that investment,
that's on you, and if you regret it, I can
respect that, but like you didn't know what you now
know versus I genuinely believe in case you'll haven't heard
me say, this business is a spiritual practice, but it's
(34:16):
also a practice of mutual respect, respecting other people, their agency,
their decisions, not needing to bully, and respecting ourselves and
our values and the abundance in this world not needing
to bully.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yeah, that's where I've talked to other even money and
money coaches, who said, yeah, I made a terrible financial
decision and I was bullied into buying this product that
I didn't understand and it was totally inappropriate for me.
And they could, you know, like the story told before,
they could decide that, I am so ashamed of myself.
I'm never gonna let anyone know this happened. Or they
build their whole career around talking to people about what
(34:51):
happened and what they learned from it and what they
do now and so was it a mistake. I don't know,
might have built the whole business depends on kind of
how you approach that that situation and what you do next.
Because there's tons of people that I talk to that say,
I have a financial advisor. I hate talking to you guy.
It makes me feel dood and it makes this and
I'm like you, like, nobody has to pay you. You
(35:17):
can actually, like you, you can choose. But I think
sometimes I forget that, like we we actually can choose,
you know, we can make you know, we can make changes,
we can we can choose things because we feel like, well, no,
this is just what I've this is the this is it,
and you kind of throw your hands up like everything
is kind of happening to me, and until they fire me,
I guess this is my this is what I'll be with,
(35:38):
And I'm like, this is our They're not gonna fire
you because you're not gonna want to talk to them.
They don't want to talk to you. They'll just keep
us going forever. But you're still paying them.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
No, we want to so as you know, like one
hundred years ago, when I started, I had the concept
big happy money, and many of you guys have even
heard maybe some of your listeners have listened to like
the Happy Money books. There's plural people you know talked
about happy money, and so then I was like, I'm
a big happy money, not just happy And then the
concept was and still is, but I just don't have
(36:05):
a name for it at this point. Like we should
feel good about everywhere we spend our money, and that
is always an option. Like I get ragy when people
are like, oh, my electric bill is high. I hate
that I have to pay it. You don't have to
pay it, Yeah, don't have to have electricity. I choose electricity,
I choose running water, but I'm in ownership of that's
a choice. If I think it's too much, I can
(36:26):
just you know, live in a tent and be miserable
without it. So like getting out of the victim mindset
and honoring that it's all a choice. There's always options
and the idea that like, yeah, like even the mistakes
are meant to guide and inform us as opposed to
meth But I think so often people like don't like
(36:47):
their financial planner or their tax person. And I think
it's like a holdover from school where like you didn't
get to pick your math teacher or your science teacher,
and you gave it about but I'm like, we're not
in high school anymore. This is much more like college.
If you know, like the professor switch, you're paying for this,
like you have an agency. And also we talked about
this before. It's like okay for all the parents. If
(37:10):
you don't like who's babysitting your kids? How long do
you tolerate that? How long do you like if you
come home and the babysitter is wasted drunk, Like how
many years or weeks are you Like, I mean I
don't really like them, but like.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
It's hard to find bills to pay, like you know.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
They have bills to pay, and it's hard to find
out other babysitter, Like you come home with that babysitter
is wasted if you pay them that one time, thus
concludes your work together because your babies are precious and
I all want to offer it gets to be the
same with our money, Like you know, money is not humans.
But if you just are like this is not the vibe,
bring that same Mama bear energy. But like if you
(37:46):
came home and the babysitter was inappropriate, where it's like cool,
that's not a thing.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Yeah, And I think you're right. You know, we don't
Maybe we don't like paying our student loans, or maybe
we don't like paying our electric bill and all the things.
We do have choice, and a lot of times the choices, well, no,
I'm going to continue to do. I don't want to
not be you know, you can go to jail.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
It's fine.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
I mean, but I think that a lot of times
it's maybe not feeling happy or like pumped about it,
but just feeling like this is a choice. Like I
like paying my bills. I remember when we would have
stressful times when I was growing up where there wasn't
enough money to pay bills, and it was tears and
it was stressful. And I feel fine paying my bills. Now.
There are some bills like I might say, you know what,
(38:26):
I don't love cable. I don't watch it. I feel
like I'm watching on the seas. Maybe I choose to
stop paying that. But it's all from a place of like,
not a I can't believe I did this for so
many years. It's just okay, I can choose not to,
you know, but I don't feel I don't feel that
that sense of fear and just anks over paying bills,
(38:48):
which is weird for some people that are like ew,
I hate paying bills, They're the worst.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
I'm like, yeah, it's just like okay, But that's the
energy of resentment, and that's the energy of a that
is genuinely not necessary. And I love that you even said,
like student loans, Like so many people, there's so much
that I could argue against, and I get angry about
the systems, but at the end of the day, you
don't have to pay. You can just end up in
jail for default, and at least for me, then it's like, okay,
(39:14):
so I choose to pay. Yeah, And you know when
people are like, well this sucks. Life isn't fair? Correct? Yeah,
like right or wrong?
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah, it kind of gets back to like what is like, Yes,
I don't have the love all of the you know,
the way that that data structured, it is one of
the ones that I like to pay off the fastest
when we kind of get a plan together about what
we can attack. However, you know, if there's other things
that we can just dump and get rid of, then okay,
let's find that money put it towards something else that
(39:43):
we do. But that we want more of, or that
we want to, you know, maybe pay off faster and
then kind of just rearranging things, or maybe you don't
necessarily just need more and more and more, You just
need some intention behind it. And I think that's one
of the coolest things about about money. When you start
to do that, how much different things feel we have
a plan in place. I just feel like a lot
of times we're just like kind of working our way
(40:07):
through things, doing exactly what we did with little to
no plan or intention, and then we hope, well, when
I'm sixty five, I'll feel good.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
And that's way too long to wait. No, no, it's
way too long to wait.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
I'd love for you to tell the listeners more about,
you know, ways you can work with you, what you've
got going on now, maybe maybe a little about your
money honeycourse, which I think is so exciting, and how
they can find you they want to learn more and follow.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Them, Please go to Serena Hicks dot com. It's Serena
just like an amazing tennis player, but I do not
play tennis. Serena Hicks dot com will always be home space.
I have a sub stack, I have YouTube, I have
Instagram is my most favorite right now and Facebook. Money
Honey is my gateway drug. I want everyone to know.
It is for all of you who don't currently have
(40:53):
a sweet relationship with money. It is a five week course.
It's online. You buy access depending on when you're listening
to this. I'm recording it live right now, but if
you're listening to this and it's already been recorded, you
will just get instant accessed five hour long trainings so
you can go through weekly, you can binge, you can
do whatever you want. You will find our very own
(41:13):
Misty Lynch as a financial planner speaking about playing the
long game. So don't get confused. She's not going to
be like, here's individual advice for any of you listening.
It's just conceptual. But one of the things we will
talk about is if you don't like the person you're
working with with your money, I want you to replace
them as an act of love for you and your money,
not as a punishment to them or anything interesting Otherwise.
(41:38):
Money Honey is about having a sweet relationship. Because I
love the examples that we even said and that you
were just sharing, Like for anyone listening who resents writing
their checks every month, imagine how different your life would
be if every time you actually wrote the checks or
checked on the auto payment or received an autopay confirmation,
you had a hit of joy and or peace. And
the example that I'll offer it's extreme is I remember
(42:02):
one of my very first private clients who did not
have a lot financially for anyone who wants to put
it in terms, like you know, lived in a trailer
park and was basically getting by at that time and
chose to invest what other people would have considered a
huge amount of money to hire me privately. But she
really wanted to like get it all ironed out. And
one of our pivotal moments was when she realized every
(42:24):
time she wrote the check, her daughter had an emergency
heart surgery. Her only child, miracle daughter had a heart surgery.
And it was like this pivotal moment when she realized, like,
you know, every time I and she was actually writing
a check to the hospital, you know, she's on the
like thirty year payment plan for everything. But that she
felt such love because it was a reminder that her
sweet baby girl lips and so it was like it's
(42:47):
not about the money, like she's like, I will literally
be paying for this until I'm like almost sixty years old,
and with love and gratitude. Because once again she had
a choice. She could have just been like, listen, girl,
we don't have money, so nice knowing you, which of
course was unavailable to her as a mom. She was like,
what can be done? Who cares? Let's go And I
(43:07):
just offer that extreme example because it's like, oh, that
was like the beginning of the iceberg in our coaching
relationship and for her to realize, like, it feels really
yummy when I send money away and remember what I
love and have in my life instead of feeling resentful
or like someone is taking something from me. And so
everybody go to Serenahicks dot com. Start with money, honey,
it's less than one thousand dollars. You'll hear from your
(43:29):
girl Misty, And the purpose is to just be in
a relationship with money like a loving sweet one. I
also have the Boom Boom Room program, and that is
where you are signing up to boom your business forward.
So it's not just about the relationship, it's about I
want a business boom. You pay once you get lifetime access.
There's modules about money mindset, modules about marketing modules about
(43:51):
all of my tools for transformation that I'm obsessed with.
It's basically the private coaching experience, how to do it
yourself on go at your own pace, and then I
offer private coaching for those who like me are like no,
spoon feed me. That's what I pay for. And if
you're like me and you're like no, I want you
to customize it to me and spoon feed me. You
do a free consult with me and we make sure
you know or find out if it's a good fit.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Thank you so much. Yes, everybody go to Serena Exec. Guys,
there's something for you. I'm sure and I think that
you know, it's one of those things that has helped
me in so many different ways because like I said,
i'm financial professional. Maybe here's of experienced hours, hours of
experience with a human brain that does human brain things,
and so this is for everybody. This is really something
(44:34):
that can benefit everyone. And I think that, Yeah, I
can't wait to work with you in the money, honey. Course,
there's ways we could protect our money. There's ways that
we could care for it the way we care for
those babies and those things and those people we love,
and so I think that's it's just going to be
a fun way to maybe continue to do the things
we're doing anyway with a completely different outlook, which can
be all the different. So thank you Serena so much
(44:56):
for joining, and thank you so much everyone for listening,
and we'll talk agains next week. Thank you for joining
us on another insightful episode of Demonstifying Money. If you
enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review.
Stay tuned for more engaging conversations on our next episode,
and remember knowledge is the key to financial empowerment.
Welcome to the demist Defying Money Podcast, where each week
you will hear unforgettable conversations with expert guests about success, money, business,
and small steps you can take to elevate your life
and wealth. Now here's your host, Misty Lynch.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hello, everyone, Thank you so much for joining us for
the Demistifying Money Podcast. I am so excited to be
here today with Serena Hicks. She is my money mindset mentor,
and she is a black biracial money mindset mentor for
Love Led Humans, and so we are kind of hoping
that this will be a great conversation for a lot
of you listening. I know a lot of you care
(00:40):
very deeply about what's going on in your business, what's
going on in the world other people, and also you
have some concerns or thoughts or ideas about money that
you're looking to either improve or explore. So Serena is
the perfect guest to have on the show, and we're
going to talk today about really enjoying the process and
enjoying what is right now because a lot of us
(01:00):
maybe we're not exactly where we want to be financially,
or maybe we are thinking things are taking too long
or maybe we see other people and we think, well,
you know, what's wrong with you? Why can I do this?
And I think that Serena is just a wonderful mentor
when it comes to really understanding the process of understanding
our relationship with money so we can improve it. So, Serena,
(01:21):
thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Thank you for having me Misty, and hey everybody.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
This episode of Demystifying Money with Misty Lynch is proudly
sponsored by Soundview Financial Advisors. Visit www dot Soundview financial
Advisors dot com to learn more.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I'd love to start with you and this my I
know a lot of my listeners feel this way in
certain parts of their life. They're either WO adjacent or
slightly WO. So you describe your business as a spiritual
and magical practice. Can you elaborate on what that means
in a way that you know others can maybe think
about or try to tap into when they think about
(02:00):
their business.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Thank you for that. I describe myself as completely WU,
and I want everyone to be advised because I think
even the most science y things like where do babies
come from? Is completely WU. It's like we can explain
things with science and yet I'm like, but we can't.
There's just magic business as a spiritual practice. I think
of it almost like a yoga practice, because I definitely
(02:23):
used to think many years ago there was this idea
and it was almost it was unconscious, but there was
this idea that like I'd get in business and then
I'd make a certain amount of money and or I'd
have a certain amount in my retirement. And the idea
was always like, there's a finish line, and when I
cross the finish line, then I will be happy. Then
I will be safe, then I can relax. And now
(02:46):
I feel like the finish line is the day I die,
and I probably won't get a memo beforehand, and so
not sure I want a memo beforehand, but like, definitely
it's the It's my way of saying, like, happiness is
not the destin nation, it is the way to travel
on the journey. And I think with money in particular,
it's so easy because of like the social norms. You
(03:08):
know this more than most and I'm sure your listeners,
it's so easy to be like, yeah, I will be
happy when XYZ is true with my financial situation, and
it's like even if that takes a month, do you
want to be asleep to your life for that month?
And what if it takes twenty years? And so I'm
quoting Byron Katie when I'm talking about loving what is
(03:30):
as in actually not gaslighting ourself, not just saying I
love this when we're like not into it, but finding
ways to appreciate where we are and what we're doing
so that the process itself is satisfying.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I think it's great that you acknowledge that because a
lot of times people are like, Okay, I can try
to feel abundant. I can try to maybe you know,
say affirmations that I am, but our brains, you know,
they don't believe us. So I think that there is
something that is important about maybe understand you know, thinking
(04:05):
about the process or where you are, what you've done
to get all the thing, you know in a way
that maybe you can feel more neutral about or even
just you know, appreciation. And I think that you hit
you talk about that very well because this is something
that I've even struggled with, and when I even started
working with you was really you know, I want to
be there. I keep looking forward in ahead, which has
(04:27):
made me a very like goal oriented successful person but
but not always appreciating that. I years ago, I was thinking,
when I make fifty thousand dollars a year, I am
going to be set. I am going to be like
I when I remember graduating college and thinking like, that
is it that will put me in a position where
(04:48):
I'm making more money than you know, most of the
people I know, but my family and I and I
was really just feeling like at that point, then I
will feel good, and that that goal keeps moving from
and further away. So how do you help people learn
how to truly appreciate or find those things that they
can say, yes, I do believe this, this is true
(05:11):
for me versus I am a money magnet. And here it.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Comes okay, which is so perfect because I've told people
like just say I'm a money magnet. It's like exactly
what you said. Sometimes they're into it, and other times
they're like, it's not working. It's like poking the bear.
And so it's a zen practice. It is a part
of what I love about this work, and for anyone listening,
I believe it's my sacred work. And you know, I'm
(05:37):
a truck driver's daughter and I filed a bankruptcy in
two thousand and eight, and I want to clarify for
people before the whole Bernie made Off implosion of the economy,
like the bankruptcy was basically a failed startup business that
I tried on my own with credit cards. I mean
not basically, that's what it was. And so I have
I have so many examples for my real life. Like
(05:59):
we grew up, there was always food, housing, clothing, but
also there was never enough, like there was always plenty.
I'm grateful that you know. We were never on house.
There was never food scarcity. I went to private school
for years, but like there was never enough was the vibe.
And so I genuinely believe it is like a zen practice.
It honors the divine for those who prefer a religious
(06:19):
point of view, but it's about having what is and
being in the present moment. And all of my favorite
spiritual teachers and most religious leaders talk about you know,
when we're in a fearful future, or even when we're
in a fantasy future, you know it's going to be
great when this happens. When we're in a fearful or
a fantasy future, we're not here, and when we're remembering
(06:43):
a painful past, or even when we're idolizing the past,
remember when it was so great, when such and such
was happening, We're not here, And I think that heart
totally is the power of now is like the best
business book and lifebook, and I dare even say money book,
because when we're here, we're here. And as far as like,
how can people learn to to if not believe, be
(07:07):
open to you know what? Money is easy for me
now and I think it's both simple and complex, and
that's where I love making that it's a spiritual practice
or a zen practice, sort of like yoga. It's so
simple that it is complex, like you are a yoga
if you show up to a yoga class, even if
that yoga class is in your head or on YouTube.
It's so simple that it's complicated because our brains are
(07:29):
not wired for actual change or thriving, like our brains
are wired to keep us alive and survive, which means
scam for problems and solve them. So our brains are
always looking into the future. What if we run out
of money, you know, what if the market crashes, what
if it's not enough? And that's why I think it's
a spiritual practice to constantly walk ourselves back to the
(07:50):
present moment.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I think that's something that's very challenging for people. I
hear people all the time that say, well, I would
do this, I would invest or, I would you know,
say money. But what if, like what if the banks
all close? Like all of these things that we can create,
all these scenarios in our head to keep us from
doing exactly what we did yesterday in the day before.
Because you're right, our brain wants us to survive. It
(08:14):
does not want us to thrive. It doesn't it does
job not its job exactly. And so there's a lot
of times when I'll talk to people and then you know,
they really have to either we really have to frame
things differently as far as getting them to actually be like, well, yes, no,
I understand that is what you know, Like what do
you think? You know, what do you think Warren Buffett's
(08:35):
doing right now today? Well, probably dumping money, you know.
But you know it's easy to think like, but that's
for them, not for me. And so I think there
are a lot of ways where our brain's in business
and with money, you do, I wouldn't say work against us,
but they can't potentially hold us back quite a bit.
And so you know, when you're talking, we said, because
(08:56):
you mentioned, you know, bankruptcy, you mentioned, you know, really
having to go through you know, some of the things
that are the worst fears that people talk about that
prevent them from starting a business. HM say, but what
if it goes what if I'm bank or what if
I have credit card debt? So how you know, how
is your journey? You know, what kind of shifts and
actions did you take that kind of took you from that, yeah,
(09:19):
to the place where you're at now, where you're able
to help other people see, you know, how to achieve
a bonance.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
It's again, it's my it's my spiritual practice, but it's
my sacred work. I did everything wrong. So when I
filed bankruptcy, I could give you all the gory details,
but the very short version is I called a family
member and they screamed and like, this is so awful
and shameful. And I completely took that story on and
I just about died of the shame of it. I
kid you not. I gained like thirty pounds basically overnight.
(09:49):
I stopped dating. I mean I was dating, but I
genuinely believe I was unworthy of love, like I would
play it in my head on a date, and like
what if we fall in love? And what if he
asked me to marry him? Like I guess I would
have to tell him I have a banker see on
my credit and if he then married me, it would
ruin everything because it would tank him. So like, okay,
I can't get married for at least until you know
when I was playing the eight year game, turns out
it with my record for ten years. And what I
(10:11):
think is so heartbreaking and therefore valuable, is I absolutely associated,
and so many people do. And I still sometimes catch
myself pulling the shit even now. It's still a practice.
I associated my love ability, my inherent worthiness to love
and belong to myself and other humans, to my credit score, Yes,
(10:34):
to my net worth which was like two dollars. And
it's so a social norm and it's so wrong in
my opinion. It goes against God, the divine. You are
born worthy. Yes, people, you can make mistakes, and yes,
(10:55):
if you murder people and do things I do believe like,
we need to put you in jail, so you don't
like make a habit out of it. But there's one
hundred percent. Like you know, people love to forget this,
including myself, but I was thinking about it recently. Abraham
Lincoln filed bankruptcy twice, and Abraham Lincoln also did some
really cool shit, and you know, none of it made
(11:18):
him absolutely lovable or not lovable as a human. But
it's just our ego, our self concept, and it's you know,
let's not all just file bankruptcy for sport. I mean,
there are consequences and repercussions, and yet for anyone, like
my dream, it hasn't happened yet. But I'm like, sadly
probably this coming year in twenty twenty five, but one
of my dreams is to you know, privately coach someone
(11:40):
who's considering or has filed, or chooses to file bankruptcy.
Because I spent about seven years just choking on shame
and physical pain, mental suffering, and none of it made
the world a better place. None of it put money
in my pocket or anyone else's pocket, none of it
allowed me to employ other people. It was such a
(12:02):
perpetuation of self loathing, self shame, and smalling down in
the world, and I desperately desire to be honest, to
support someone else in making the choice from a clear
eyde this has nothing to do with my lovelability. It's
a legal option in the United States at this point.
And if it's one that is actually going to help
them be free so that they can long term do
(12:26):
more good in the world, then hard yes.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
And it's just fascinating how our culture associates, you know,
there should be such desperate shame. And again it's like
everyone doesn't want their house repode, their car repode, or
to file of bankruptcy, like we're on the same page,
but it doesn't disqualify them from contributing.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Yeah, and I think that that's something that a lot
of people, you know, they they're reluctant, like you said,
to get you know, mentor coaching else because they, yeah,
why would I I am not worth that. I don't
deserve that. That is for the people who are successful.
That is for the people who have their you know,
they have their together and can figure this out instead
of thinking no, Like, I think there's so many ways
(13:07):
that that coaching even you know, whatever, however accessible it
can be, whether it's one on one or if that's
not part of what you can afform it. And like
there's other things, or even following people that you feel
you can connect to or you feel like sometimes they
make you think about something a little bit differently. I
think can have a major impact on your maybe next
best step, or getting out of that spiral of shame.
(13:31):
And because it's it's it's very difficult to get out.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Of that what it is I did?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Those eight years pass, you're still you thinking those thoughts
over and over again, even if now it's gone, will
replace it something else we've done.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Ron it was such a revolution when I and it
was I'd sort of jumped into coaching and all these
different things that happened. But it's like almost, it's not almost.
What happened is I did a one to eighty. I
suddenly realized all these ways that I'd shame myself. I
was like, actually, I'm resilient. All these times I told
myself I'm bad with money, I'm good with money. Fun fact,
it's legal for people to file bankruptcy like this. It's
(14:07):
built into businesses laural like, of course I've been beating
myself up with like, you know, the banks, I robbed
the banks. I probably cost someone their job. No, this
happens all the time, and something that like makes me wins,
and I just want to offer it to your clients.
Is I had maybe forty thousand dollars in credit card debt. Again,
I'd started up and I couldn't get loans, so I
was using my credit cards because that's what you did
in two thousand and seven. And I'm like, oh my god,
(14:27):
people file bankruptcy for fifty million dollars for two million dollars,
and I'm over here smalling myself down, choking myself. It
suddenly became it's almost as if I was able to
see through the divine's eyes, like it's what you were
making it mean, and you have not been doing life
(14:48):
or thriving or being an example. So here's a very
extreme As you know, I enjoy extreme examples, but fear listeners.
I wanted to say warning. I remember being in high
school and someone came to speak to our student body,
and the long story sure is they were recovered alcoholic
or recovering alcoholic, who drove drunk one night and killed
a family and they were very regretful of that, and
(15:10):
they chose to share their story about don't drink and
drive not because it could bring that family back to life.
But what I valued and what I want to offer
as the example is they knew that if they just
lived in shame and drank themselves to death, or lived
in shame and never spoke of it, that wasn't better.
They could do anything, and they were worthy soul, but
they were like I want to use this situation and
(15:31):
I want to hopefully help other people not make the
mistakes I made, Like I want to transmute it into
some form of good. I want to honor what can
never be back, like I can't bring this family back
to life, but I want to honor what I took
by attempting to pour into others and contribute positively in
the world instead of letting my shame, you know, hide
(15:53):
my story and their story. And I think that that
is always the opportunity. And I think that we actually
live in a friendly universe. And I genuinely believe that
money and our relationship to money energetically, not just what
we say, but how we feel about it is an
absolute mirror or a cross section for our relationship with life.
Do we trust it, do we think more is coming?
(16:13):
Do we think we're inherently worthy? Are we willing to
do our part in the partnership, in the relationship, are
we willing to make mistakes?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, I think that one of the things you said
is that that person that shared their story, it was
a choice. They made that choice. You know, they had
all of these options. They could not obviously rewrite the past,
but they could choose what they did with it. And
I think all of us have that, And I think
that we have that when it comes to our money story,
when it comes to our business, when it comes to
(16:43):
you know, how we feel about all the relationships in
our lives. I think that there's there's a lot of
times where we feel like somebody else has to do
something in order for things to change, and we just
sit and wait patiently for that time to come without
really realizing that there's quite a bit that we can
do to change all of everything based on you know,
the thoughts and how we choose to you know, how
(17:04):
we choose to act, how we choose to respond, and
what we want to do next. Yes, you mentioned another
thing though. When I think this comes up a lot,
you know about you know, those feelings and thoughts that
people have. And one of the things that you spoke
about once that I thought had a lot of a
large impact on me when I was starting on business
was pricing and even the necklace that you're wearing right now,
(17:27):
because I remember the story that you told about the
necklace that you're wearing right now, because a lot of
us feel like I can't ask for this because it's
going to make people feel a certain way. It's going
to you know, we're a shame, we're nervous about looking
greedy hearing no all of those stories, and so I
think that one of the things that was very helpful
(17:47):
for me was even the way that you look at
pricing and offering value and just really how people can
look at that instead of really staying small and just
kind of trying to not offend anybody. Oh, if you
of mine, I'd love for you to tell tho just
kind of that story. Yeah, and if your thoughts about
pricing and how if people are feeling that selfed out
(18:07):
or they don't want to themselves out, how they can
how they can look at things differently.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yeah, that makes an I want everyone to know it's
not actually about you. I want to normalize I have
a brain, I've changed. You've been with me long enough
that you've seen my pricing at just so like I
don't want to. I don't want anyone to think I'm
on like some glorious soapbox, and I'm like, what's wrong
with you? Nothing's wrong with you. You're human and if
you have a human brain, you will because belonging is
a human imperative. Be worried about people thinking you're greedy
(18:32):
and therefore rejecting you and or thinking you know, that's
a human experience. And why I love business again as
a spiritual practice is part of it is like, but
what do I have to offer? What might they want?
And if I focus on what they might want? We've
all heard that super cheesy, but it's cliche for a reason,
Like if you have the cure for cancer, would you
be so worried about what people think? Or would you
be like, I just want to make sure they know.
(18:53):
I want to make sure they know I have it.
If they want it, I got it. If they don't,
not a problem. So the story, Thank you. I love
this necklace, as you know, it's so good. It's malakite.
For those who are just listening, it's just golden malakite.
And I actually went to this Byron Katy event she
teaches the concept of loving what is, and I was
just all blissed out and was just like life's perfect.
And I decided I wanted to get myself a trinket
(19:13):
to remember the It was March of twenty three. So
I end up in the gift shop at the hotel
and I see this necklace and I think it's great,
and so I asked the nice girl behind the counter, like,
can I see that necklace? And she says yes, and
then she pulls it out. I'm asking her, oh, and
how much is it? And you guys, I'm thinking it's
like two fifty two hundred and fifty dollars, maybe three fifty.
But like I'm you know, I'm like, oh, this is perfect.
(19:34):
That's a that's a worthwhile spend. And she says, oh, yeah,
it's three thousand dollars, and it literally took my breath away.
I was not anticipating a three thousand dollar necklace in
the hotel gift shop, and I was not planning on
a three thousand dollar purchase. And just your clear, I've
never had an impulse three thousand dollar necklace buy. Just
that's That's where I'm at, y'all, And keep in mind.
(19:54):
By the time I'm buying this necklace, I've made millions
of dollars as a coach. It's it's you know, there's
there's it's just that's not where I my money. And literally,
I like gasped, and she looks at me. I look
at her wide eyed and like three thousand dollars and
she's like yeah, I'm like, well, I'm not paying that,
and she blinks and keep in mind, you guys, this
is the twenty year old shop girl who I later
(20:15):
found out makes no commission. So it's valuable to note
she has no skin in this game. She is unbothered,
unlike those of us who are service providers, who would
be like, she's judging me.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
She thinks it's too much.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
She don't give a shit. She's just so. She literally
just asked me, okay, so what do you want to do?
Do you want to try it on? Because she's in service,
she just wants to knows she's supposed to put it
back in the case. And I was like, well, let me,
I'll try it on. So I try it on and
thirty seconds later, I'm like, yeah, okay, I'm buying it,
and I think it's such a great clean example, as
(20:48):
you said, because she had no skin in the game.
She it's not personal for her. Just tell me, crazy lady,
if you want to try the necklace on or not.
I understand her not buying it for three thousand and
yet when I put it on my person, I was like,
I mean, I have the money and I'm really buying it,
Like that was no brainer. And I just think thank
God that she was like, Okay, what do you want
(21:10):
to do? Do you want to try it on? Because
she'd just been like okay, I'm sorry and put it
back in the case. And you guys, misty mentions this
necklace I'm wearing. I've worn it like basically every day
of my life since March of twenty three. So, like
the cost per were on a three K investment, I
think we're below like three dollars a day. And then
it was a valuable thing that I shared with my
(21:30):
clients because I thought, oh, even I have been in
a situation where I've named my price and someone's like, oh,
that's a lot of money, and I would like shrink
down and be like, oh my god, they're judging me.
And something I teach my clients in the Boom Boom Room,
which is my lifetime access program, is be quiet, not
as a sales technique, but like money is primal for everyone,
(21:53):
so give them the time and space to let it settle.
And I remember a private client years ago. I am
much more seasoned now, but years ago, at that time,
I charged ten thousand for six months of private work.
And I remember she said, WHOA, that's a lot of money.
And I remember being quiet instead of being like, I know,
but I'm a really good coach. Nobody cares, nobody cares.
(22:13):
We don't need to prove her value. So I just
sat there quietly and she literally was like, but that's
what a lot of other people charge who I like,
And I know, I really want to work with you,
and I fully intend to get my ROI And the
whole time I'm biting my tongue and she just walks
herself through it. She's like, Okay, my husband won't like this.
I'll need to take it out of like my money,
(22:36):
if you will, Okay, I'd like to move forward. And
I didn't bully her, I didn't pressure her. I didn't
defend my price point. And I think, in particular for
women in business, there are men who feel this way too,
but in particular because of how women are socialized to
be helpers. It's so easy to have all of these
fascinating and irrelevant thoughts about our price point. And I
(22:59):
like this now. I'm obsessed with this analogy right now.
Everyone think of an airplane, like on a long haul flight,
there's first class, there's business class, and there's economy class
that airplane. If you fly from Dallas to London, you're
going to get there, doesn't matter if you're in the
middle seat in economy near the toilets, or if you've
got some premiere seat in first class. You're going to
the same place. And there are different options available at
(23:21):
different price points because people are in different tax brackets.
Like for some people, three K for the first class
is nothing. And I think where people get in trouble
is we're using all of our judgments in their business
and you know, we're thinking, oh, my price is expensive. Well,
maybe your price seems expensive to you, but people spend
one hundred thousand dollars on handbacks and if that's your client,
(23:45):
then your price may not be interesting. If that's not
your client, that's okay too. But it's so unnecessary, and
it's such a burden to worry about what other people
can or can't afford. And it's also I think, perpetuating
(24:05):
a lack of agency when we live on this planet
that has zoom and an internet and or phones and
we're pretending like, no one can afford my price. And
I'm like, that may be true, but everyone who tells
me that, so far, it's never been true, and they've
been perpetuating that experience because they're ashamed of their price
or they're not offering a price, and too often people
work for way too little, and then they get resentful
(24:27):
of their clients, and then they say business doesn't work.
And it's like, friend, if we think of our business
and we caretake our business, including our price point, the
way we think of children or pets who we like,
it's just a matter of provisioning. If the price point
allows you to provide a service where you're somewhat well
rested and clear headed and can provide the service that
you actually provide and not like need seven hundred jobs,
(24:51):
then it's the right price for the right client. And
then it's on us to find the client who is
ready and resourced, not just financially, but so emotionally, time
ready and resource to be like that's what I want.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Yeah. And I think even working with a lot of
people and seeing how they spend their money, I think
a lot of times we make these assumptions and a
lot of times we're wrong. I have seen clients who
have millions of dollars that would not spend more than
forty dollars on a haircut, because that is it's ridiculous,
it would never happen. Then I have other people that
were like, oh, yeah, absolutely, I'll fly to New York
City to get my hair cout for six hundred dollars
(25:25):
because I want the result?
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Do you know me?
Speaker 2 (25:28):
Do you want the result? And so you might think
that you know what people are going to say or
how they're going to react, and I would say that
you really should just give them the opportunity to yes,
process it and decide for themselves that they want to do.
Because we don't know, we have no idea what people value.
It can be very different than what you might just
assume based on the information that you have in front
(25:50):
of you. Like that woman at the storage, she could
have been like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Never mind,
like look at this one. This is thirty dollars. This
isn't real. Instead of just being like, okay, so want
to try it? What like what do you want to do?
And then you could be like, well, yeah, actually I
want it. And I feel like we've all been in
those situations where it's really we either want the result
(26:12):
or we want the value. We and we might make
a new purchase, it might make a decision to work
with somebody. We might you know, and I think a
lot of times it isn't just like you said, the
end result of having it it is okay, you know
what happens next. Even when people invest in When I
invested in coaching, I was in a happy like place.
I was in a job that paid well and I
(26:32):
liked it, but I wasn't exactly where it was. And
it's just even in all the investments I made in
my own brain have been on paper, confusing to other
people or not exactly you know, it doesn't make sense
all the time, and I think, but to me, it's it,
and it's you know, it's one of those things that matters.
And I think sometimes we have we also have to
(26:52):
deal with you know, sometimes maybe people don't understand our
vision or they don't understand fully what we are thinking
about doing, and it can make us feel out of
place sometimes. So when you when you're working with those
clients that you coached and those consultants, you know, how
do you help them reconcile that vision and the fact
that everyone else is like, okay, just be happy.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
I think it's I think it's a I think it's
one of my gifts and I just want to normalize women, humans, men,
anyone owning our gifts. Is So, if you're into human design,
I told you guys, I was woo, if you're into
human deside, I'm a projector for six and I was like,
what does that mean? And when people have gone through
it with me, they're like, oh, you actually see things
and you're able to show people things. So I genuinely
(27:35):
think it's one of the things outside of my coaching
and my teaching that I get to offer, and I
want to tell everyone. It starts in the consult. It's
not necessarily something that they're going to pick up on
my social media, but it's like we do a one
hour consult. We talk about their specific life and situation
and what I there's like a feeling in my belly
that I get that. I think that my whether they
hire me or not, but certainly those who do clients,
it's like something clicks in where they recognize just what
(27:58):
you said. Their vision is the vision. It is their leadership,
It is their innovation, It is part of what they
are bringing as a leader, a love led leader to
their community, their household, their city, their state. They understand
everyone doesn't see it the way they see it. This
is the point, Like this is the torch they carry,
and I think that's It's like the King Arthur's story.
(28:21):
It's like this is actually pulling the sword from the stone.
Those moments where we respect our vision and we respect
that everyone else can't see it and we are able
to see, Like, yeah, man, that's the point. Like this
is for me the steward and caretake. And I think
of it almost I'm thinking of my sister in law
(28:42):
who she and my little brother used science and technology
to conceive they were not able to do so the
quote old fashioned way, and yet I'm like it's still
old fashioned because at one point I don't remember all
the technical terms. Everybody, but you know, they're like we
can't implant the embryo until your numbers are it, and
I think the numbers was supposed to be twenty five
or higher. And they tested and she was at like
(29:03):
fourteen and she threw a proper fit and was like,
it's time, we're gonna try it. And they were like,
it's not gonna work. We've like pup up up up
bah bah bah. And of course that's how she conceived
and ultimately delivered my nephew. And just using that as
an example, she had no right quote to have that vision,
(29:23):
according to all of the science and doctors that they
were paying large amounts of money to. But something in
her belly said no, no, no, no, no, no no, now, this
is what we're going to do. And as a reminder,
she had no guarantees, just like with money investments, like
she had the opposite of guarantees. She had the people
that she paid being like, I don't think, yeah, you're
(29:44):
gonna lose some time money and plan on crying a lot.
And she trusted herself and her vision and her connection
to the divine enough to air quotes risk losing that
money that time and of course being disappointed, and ultimately
it led to the reward, and I think that's the
key thing. And I know we take out on this
(30:04):
with money in life as love led leaders, there will
always be risk, and everyone wants to make a move
when there's no risk and that's an unavailable option.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Yeah, there's always a risk, and I think a lot
of times, you know, there's it's because people are looking
for that, They're looking for that guaranteed, you know, no risk,
high reward option and unfortunately it's not there. And so
that's one of the things that most most of the
time when I you know, even when I decided, you
(30:33):
know that I was a financial planner, but I wanted
to get a life coaching certification, which nobody thought was
a good idea. What is the point of that that's
what I got or why would you waste your time
doing that? But I was like, no, I think that
most of the problems my clients have isn't that they
don't have the right return or the proper diversification of
their portfolio. They can't pull the trigger on half of
(30:55):
the things that they're telling me. They want to do,
the businesses they want to start, the lives they want
to live, homes, they want all of the things that
they want to do are down to basically the decisions
that they make. It's not about having enough money or
being in the right spot in your career, because there's
still all those things that can hold them back. So
I felt like, in my head, no.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
This makes sense, it makes perfect going for it right.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
But to others it was like, well, go take a
sales training course so you can figure out what people's
biggest fear is and then you could just dial into
that until they say yes, which is like you said
that bullying, that feeling that just didn't feel it didn't
feel right to me, It felt gross. The traditional financial
advisor sales track all of those things. I loved working
(31:43):
with money. I loved that, you know, making things happen
with money, but also that it kind of and that's
another thing that I think that you talk about is
kind of that integrity in business, because I feel like
if it doesn't feel right and there's no alignment, there's
always going to be something breaking it down. So once
it's in alignment, even if you're the only person that
makes sense to it, could cleared that path. So when
(32:05):
you think about integrity, especially with some people that are like, hey,
I just want to make some money, help me make
money's arena.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
I can't help them because of the lack of integrity.
Just to be clear, it's not a judgment, although you
guys need to know I's anarchy bitch, totally woo, but like,
don't think I'm a same but that's not my like, oh,
I can't help them. I can't help them because energetically
it's not a match. So if you just want to
speak in quantum physics, if you're coming from I need
more money. I just want to make money. I don't
care about other people, then that's what the universe has
to deliver to you. And we'll loop it back to
(32:32):
pricing because sometimes people try to do like super low
pricing from that, like I'll just da da da, and
then they attract like super cheap people who are super
complaining and they like can't figure it out. And one
of the things that I want to offer myself as example,
you know, my business, I came at boom blah blah
blah blah blah, and then in twenty twenty two and
twenty three in the coaching community, in the corner of
(32:52):
the coaching community that I live in, and you know,
it's a big world, but in my little corner, that
was all this price shaming, and so I like suddenly
stopped offering premium. I stopped thinking of my services as premium,
and I think that was a disservice to my entire community.
And now I'm like, it's cool. Now I have even
more to offer everyone, because back to my airplane analogy, like, look,
you don't want to pay for first class experience or
(33:13):
first class pricing, get an economy feet like there's no
wrong choice here. But I will not be yet another
woman not to mention, a woman of color being shamed
for choosing to have respect and dignity for my skills
and my services and the people who pay me. Because
fun fact, and I want everyone to write this down.
I literally learned this from one of my clients, and
(33:33):
I quote, look, nobody has to hire me, No one
has to pay me. You either choose to pay for
my services or you do without my services. Like I'm
not forcing anyone ever, and I think that's where you're doing.
How often the story in business is like so and
so forced their premium pricing, and I'm like, you know what,
(33:56):
no one ever says that about buying house. The real
estate agent forced me to make that one hundred fifty
thousand dollars home purchase, because we all know, like your
grown as adult, if you decided to make that investment,
that's on you, and if you regret it, I can
respect that, but like you didn't know what you now
know versus I genuinely believe in case you'll haven't heard
me say, this business is a spiritual practice, but it's
(34:16):
also a practice of mutual respect, respecting other people, their agency,
their decisions, not needing to bully, and respecting ourselves and
our values and the abundance in this world not needing
to bully.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yeah, that's where I've talked to other even money and
money coaches, who said, yeah, I made a terrible financial
decision and I was bullied into buying this product that
I didn't understand and it was totally inappropriate for me.
And they could, you know, like the story told before,
they could decide that, I am so ashamed of myself.
I'm never gonna let anyone know this happened. Or they
build their whole career around talking to people about what
(34:51):
happened and what they learned from it and what they
do now and so was it a mistake. I don't know,
might have built the whole business depends on kind of
how you approach that that situation and what you do next.
Because there's tons of people that I talk to that say,
I have a financial advisor. I hate talking to you guy.
It makes me feel dood and it makes this and
I'm like you, like, nobody has to pay you. You
(35:17):
can actually, like you, you can choose. But I think
sometimes I forget that, like we we actually can choose,
you know, we can make you know, we can make changes,
we can we can choose things because we feel like, well, no,
this is just what I've this is the this is it,
and you kind of throw your hands up like everything
is kind of happening to me, and until they fire me,
I guess this is my this is what I'll be with,
(35:38):
And I'm like, this is our They're not gonna fire
you because you're not gonna want to talk to them.
They don't want to talk to you. They'll just keep
us going forever. But you're still paying them.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
No, we want to so as you know, like one
hundred years ago, when I started, I had the concept
big happy money, and many of you guys have even
heard maybe some of your listeners have listened to like
the Happy Money books. There's plural people you know talked
about happy money, and so then I was like, I'm
a big happy money, not just happy And then the
concept was and still is, but I just don't have
(36:05):
a name for it at this point. Like we should
feel good about everywhere we spend our money, and that
is always an option. Like I get ragy when people
are like, oh, my electric bill is high. I hate
that I have to pay it. You don't have to
pay it, Yeah, don't have to have electricity. I choose electricity,
I choose running water, but I'm in ownership of that's
a choice. If I think it's too much, I can
(36:26):
just you know, live in a tent and be miserable
without it. So like getting out of the victim mindset
and honoring that it's all a choice. There's always options
and the idea that like, yeah, like even the mistakes
are meant to guide and inform us as opposed to
meth But I think so often people like don't like
(36:47):
their financial planner or their tax person. And I think
it's like a holdover from school where like you didn't
get to pick your math teacher or your science teacher,
and you gave it about but I'm like, we're not
in high school anymore. This is much more like college.
If you know, like the professor switch, you're paying for this,
like you have an agency. And also we talked about
this before. It's like okay for all the parents. If
(37:10):
you don't like who's babysitting your kids? How long do
you tolerate that? How long do you like if you
come home and the babysitter is wasted drunk, Like how
many years or weeks are you Like, I mean I
don't really like them, but like.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
It's hard to find bills to pay, like you know.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
They have bills to pay, and it's hard to find
out other babysitter, Like you come home with that babysitter
is wasted if you pay them that one time, thus
concludes your work together because your babies are precious and
I all want to offer it gets to be the
same with our money, Like you know, money is not humans.
But if you just are like this is not the vibe,
bring that same Mama bear energy. But like if you
(37:46):
came home and the babysitter was inappropriate, where it's like cool,
that's not a thing.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Yeah, And I think you're right. You know, we don't
Maybe we don't like paying our student loans, or maybe
we don't like paying our electric bill and all the things.
We do have choice, and a lot of times the choices, well, no,
I'm going to continue to do. I don't want to
not be you know, you can go to jail.
Speaker 3 (38:03):
It's fine.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
I mean, but I think that a lot of times
it's maybe not feeling happy or like pumped about it,
but just feeling like this is a choice. Like I
like paying my bills. I remember when we would have
stressful times when I was growing up where there wasn't
enough money to pay bills, and it was tears and
it was stressful. And I feel fine paying my bills. Now.
There are some bills like I might say, you know what,
(38:26):
I don't love cable. I don't watch it. I feel
like I'm watching on the seas. Maybe I choose to
stop paying that. But it's all from a place of like,
not a I can't believe I did this for so
many years. It's just okay, I can choose not to,
you know, but I don't feel I don't feel that
that sense of fear and just anks over paying bills,
(38:48):
which is weird for some people that are like ew,
I hate paying bills, They're the worst.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
I'm like, yeah, it's just like okay, But that's the
energy of resentment, and that's the energy of a that
is genuinely not necessary. And I love that you even said,
like student loans, Like so many people, there's so much
that I could argue against, and I get angry about
the systems, but at the end of the day, you
don't have to pay. You can just end up in
jail for default, and at least for me, then it's like, okay,
(39:14):
so I choose to pay. Yeah, And you know when
people are like, well this sucks. Life isn't fair? Correct? Yeah,
like right or wrong?
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah, it kind of gets back to like what is like, Yes,
I don't have the love all of the you know,
the way that that data structured, it is one of
the ones that I like to pay off the fastest
when we kind of get a plan together about what
we can attack. However, you know, if there's other things
that we can just dump and get rid of, then okay,
let's find that money put it towards something else that
(39:43):
we do. But that we want more of, or that
we want to, you know, maybe pay off faster and
then kind of just rearranging things, or maybe you don't
necessarily just need more and more and more, You just
need some intention behind it. And I think that's one
of the coolest things about about money. When you start
to do that, how much different things feel we have
a plan in place. I just feel like a lot
of times we're just like kind of working our way
(40:07):
through things, doing exactly what we did with little to
no plan or intention, and then we hope, well, when
I'm sixty five, I'll feel good.
Speaker 3 (40:15):
And that's way too long to wait. No, no, it's
way too long to wait.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
I'd love for you to tell the listeners more about,
you know, ways you can work with you, what you've
got going on now, maybe maybe a little about your
money honeycourse, which I think is so exciting, and how
they can find you they want to learn more and follow.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
Them, Please go to Serena Hicks dot com. It's Serena
just like an amazing tennis player, but I do not
play tennis. Serena Hicks dot com will always be home space.
I have a sub stack, I have YouTube, I have
Instagram is my most favorite right now and Facebook. Money
Honey is my gateway drug. I want everyone to know.
It is for all of you who don't currently have
(40:53):
a sweet relationship with money. It is a five week course.
It's online. You buy access depending on when you're listening
to this. I'm recording it live right now, but if
you're listening to this and it's already been recorded, you
will just get instant accessed five hour long trainings so
you can go through weekly, you can binge, you can
do whatever you want. You will find our very own
(41:13):
Misty Lynch as a financial planner speaking about playing the
long game. So don't get confused. She's not going to
be like, here's individual advice for any of you listening.
It's just conceptual. But one of the things we will
talk about is if you don't like the person you're
working with with your money, I want you to replace
them as an act of love for you and your money,
not as a punishment to them or anything interesting Otherwise.
(41:38):
Money Honey is about having a sweet relationship. Because I
love the examples that we even said and that you
were just sharing, Like for anyone listening who resents writing
their checks every month, imagine how different your life would
be if every time you actually wrote the checks or
checked on the auto payment or received an autopay confirmation,
you had a hit of joy and or peace. And
the example that I'll offer it's extreme is I remember
(42:02):
one of my very first private clients who did not
have a lot financially for anyone who wants to put
it in terms, like you know, lived in a trailer
park and was basically getting by at that time and
chose to invest what other people would have considered a
huge amount of money to hire me privately. But she
really wanted to like get it all ironed out. And
one of our pivotal moments was when she realized every
(42:24):
time she wrote the check, her daughter had an emergency
heart surgery. Her only child, miracle daughter had a heart surgery.
And it was like this pivotal moment when she realized, like,
you know, every time I and she was actually writing
a check to the hospital, you know, she's on the
like thirty year payment plan for everything. But that she
felt such love because it was a reminder that her
sweet baby girl lips and so it was like it's
(42:47):
not about the money, like she's like, I will literally
be paying for this until I'm like almost sixty years old,
and with love and gratitude. Because once again she had
a choice. She could have just been like, listen, girl,
we don't have money, so nice knowing you, which of
course was unavailable to her as a mom. She was like,
what can be done? Who cares? Let's go And I
(43:07):
just offer that extreme example because it's like, oh, that
was like the beginning of the iceberg in our coaching
relationship and for her to realize, like, it feels really
yummy when I send money away and remember what I
love and have in my life instead of feeling resentful
or like someone is taking something from me. And so
everybody go to Serenahicks dot com. Start with money, honey,
it's less than one thousand dollars. You'll hear from your
(43:29):
girl Misty, And the purpose is to just be in
a relationship with money like a loving sweet one. I
also have the Boom Boom Room program, and that is
where you are signing up to boom your business forward.
So it's not just about the relationship, it's about I
want a business boom. You pay once you get lifetime access.
There's modules about money mindset, modules about marketing modules about
(43:51):
all of my tools for transformation that I'm obsessed with.
It's basically the private coaching experience, how to do it
yourself on go at your own pace, and then I
offer private coaching for those who like me are like no,
spoon feed me. That's what I pay for. And if
you're like me and you're like no, I want you
to customize it to me and spoon feed me. You
do a free consult with me and we make sure
you know or find out if it's a good fit.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Thank you so much. Yes, everybody go to Serena Exec. Guys,
there's something for you. I'm sure and I think that
you know, it's one of those things that has helped
me in so many different ways because like I said,
i'm financial professional. Maybe here's of experienced hours, hours of
experience with a human brain that does human brain things,
and so this is for everybody. This is really something
(44:34):
that can benefit everyone. And I think that, Yeah, I
can't wait to work with you in the money, honey. Course,
there's ways we could protect our money. There's ways that
we could care for it the way we care for
those babies and those things and those people we love,
and so I think that's it's just going to be
a fun way to maybe continue to do the things
we're doing anyway with a completely different outlook, which can
be all the different. So thank you Serena so much
(44:56):
for joining, and thank you so much everyone for listening,
and we'll talk agains next week. Thank you for joining
us on another insightful episode of Demonstifying Money. If you
enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review.
Stay tuned for more engaging conversations on our next episode,
and remember knowledge is the key to financial empowerment.
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