June 30, 2025 • 36 mins
In this episode of Demystifying Money, Misty Lynch sits down with Genevieve Anderson, founder of Holistic Personal Finance, to break down the real-life challenges and solutions for improving your relationship with money. Get straight-to-the-point advice on financial mindset, debt, income strategies, and why financial literacy matters for everyone.Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:
Where to find Genevieve Anderson
Instagram: @holistic.personal.finance
Website: www.holisticpersonal.finance
Where to find Misty
Websites:
- Genevieve’s personal journey through the financial industry, including her transition from private banking to coaching.
- Practical steps to pay off significant debt, including creative ways to increase your income.
- How family background and childhood shape your money mindset—and how to start changing those beliefs.
- The importance of looking at your finances holistically, not just focusing on single accounts or investments.
- Strategies for building money confidence, improving financial literacy, and fostering open conversations about wealth in families.
Where to find Genevieve Anderson
Instagram: @holistic.personal.finance
Website: www.holisticpersonal.finance
Where to find Misty
Websites:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Demistifying Money podcast, where each week you
will hear unforgettable conversations with expert guests about success, money, business,
and small steps you can take to elevate your life
and wealth. Now here's your host, Misty Lynch.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hi, thank you so much for joining us for this
episode of Demistifying Money. I'm your host, Misty Lynch, and
I'm joined by Genevieve Anderson. She's the founder of Holistic
Personal Finance in New Orleans, Louisiana, and she is Yeah,
she is an accredited financial counselor and she helps people
with some high touch financial coaching and help.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Thank you so much, Jennie for coming on the show today.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm so excited.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 5 (00:43):
This episode of Demistifying Money with Misty Lynch is proudly
sponsored by Soundview Financial Advisors. Visit www dot Soundview financial
Advisors dot com to learn more.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Can you tell us?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I know I was going to go into your backstory,
but I love to hear it from you. Can you
tell us a bit about your journey and how you
came to create this business that you're in today.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Absolutely so. I've actually been working in the financial services
industry for just about close to fifteen years. It's been
a long It's been a long time, and in my
journey in my career, I have moved. I did a
lot of client facing things for about ten years, and
then around three four years ago, I decided to move
(01:30):
into more back office work when it comes to financial services,
which is still really exciting. But I missed having that
one on one connection that I had with clients when
I was working in private banking and being able to
kind of follow them along and watch their journey and
watch them grow and help them through many stages of life.
So around that same time that I was considering picking
(01:53):
up something on the side or doing something different, I
had about four people in life reach out to me
for questions around their finances and just really simple stuff.
You know, my in laws want to contribute to my
kids college? How do I do that? You know, I
want to buy this house. What's the best way to
(02:14):
go about this? I know there's like ten different options.
I have a ton of credit card debt. How am
I going to pay this down? And so I got
to thinking, I was like, all right, if my friends
and family are reaching out about stuff like this, you know,
I know other people are having these questions and this
is something that is needed. And as I continue to
research financial coaching and different businesses, it really struck me
(02:38):
that a lot of either coaches and advisors, you know,
they look at a lot of the mental and money mindset,
but not a ton. So I really created holistic personal
finance because I wanted to look at folks' finances from
every single angle, from how do you feel about money?
(02:58):
To what's your retirement into what's your cash flow? Like
is money feel easy for you? If it doesn't, how
do we make that easier. So that's really what I
do with my clients, and I've been doing that for
about three or four years now.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I think it's I love how you know, I think
we can have experience in this industry and even when
you said working in this industry for fifteen years, that
people would come with you with simple questions like how
do I buy this house or pay off credit card?
And it's funny because we're so exposed to these questions
and these processes all the time, where I think some
people might think that you know that it is complicated,
(03:34):
it's hard to figure out. So I think that's so
great that you're able to kind of take that and
break it down and make it something that you could
explain to your friends and to your family, and then
realize that there is this overall need where some people
might just really be very confused on where to start
and have a lot of, you know, the mindset work
that they need to do to not feel bad about,
you know, having to pay out debt. And you've paid
(03:55):
off consumer debt yourself, Can you tell us a little
bit about how you've done that on your own and
how that helped you become a better coach for other
people who are in that same situation.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Absolutely, And that's a part of the reason why I
also wanted to start this, because even being in the industry,
I knew exactly what to do. I went through unfortunately
or really devastating divorce both mentally and emotionally, but also
financially too. I lost over fifty percent of my net
worth to my ex. So that really makes you feel
(04:26):
not great. It's not a fun place to be in,
and I know a lot of people can relate to
that as well. So it really took a long time
for me not to even know what to do because
I kind of knew some of those practical steps, but
to really work on myself emotionally, physically even like getting
in shape, just really under feeling like I have the
(04:47):
confidence to do the actual things. And then I had
a light bulb moment. I was working on somebody else's
financial plan, and I was helping them retire and running
a bunch of numbers and putting all this effort and
work into it, and all of a sudden, I thought
to myself, why am I not doing this for me?
(05:09):
Like why am I not the client? Like am I
not worthy of spending an hour or two on my
own financial situation to like actually figure it out? And so,
you know, don't tell my work. But immediately that's what
I did. I close that file. I opened up a
whole new file, and.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
I started putting my own information in there.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
And the very first thing I did is I just
data dumped and I got everything out on one page.
And then I think the other thing that helped me
personally get out of debt. I was over close to
forty thousand dollars. I had also gone and got my MBA,
so I had some student loan debt that was piled
on top of that too. But what really helped me
(05:52):
is not only seeing it all on paper, but also
getting really creative with how I could earn extra money.
And that is not an easy place to be a
lot of us when we are you know, we're graduated,
we're adults, we're maybe in our thirties, maybe in our forties,
and you know, the idea of a side hustle, of
(06:13):
doing a second job, of getting a roommate, which is
something that I did. I did peer to peer lending.
I it took on side work additionally, you know, so
I did a lot of kind of unusual things to
just make extra money on the side. And that's a
hard place to be with. But I think also knowing
that it was temporary, it's like, Okay, I just need
(06:35):
to do this for two years and then I can
knock this out and I'm going to be in such
a better place. So those are some things that helped
me get from that place of being in debt and
in a bad situation to finally having that aha moment
and then being able to be like, all right, now
we're in mode and we're we're going.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, and I you definitely you know, thinking about creative
ways to generate more income, because I feel like sometimes
people hear that and they think, but I don't have
any time. I should be able to pay off everything
with my salary, you know, or you know, my education,
all of those things, and sometimes it isn't a matter
of cutting. And I think that's a lot of times
what people think when it comes to their budget, and
it's like, well, perhaps increasing income is a better you know,
(07:18):
perhaps a better idea or more possible. And so I
think that's that's great to hear that you were able
to do that yourself, because it's just proof again that
this can be done and it can be seen as
a temporary thing. And I think once you have those
numbers in front of you in that goal and you
can see how quickly it'll take you to see in
another spot, you're able to kind of set those expectations
(07:38):
and move forward. Which I think is what holds a
lot of people back from even trying is because they think, oh,
I have thirty thousand dollars in credit card debt, forty
thousand dollars in credit cardet it's never going to go away.
And what do they do when your brain is thinking,
I feel awful about this, what's going to make me
feel better, usually spending money, Yeah, spending more money and
(08:02):
going into more debt. And we have these all or
nothing mindsets where we think, well, if I can't pay
it all off tomorrow, what's the point. I might as
well just stay and up for the rest of my life,
which is so it just kind of keeps us stuck
in that same place. So I like that you've kind
of plotted out, like how long will this actually take
for me to do? How much do I need to
bring in extra? And then you can kind of adjust
the timeline accordingly to what you can what you can handle,
(08:26):
and figure out a way to get out because it
is such a It is such an interesting thing to
see the people I talk to that are deep in doubt,
whether it's you know, six figure you know, student loans
and a combination of things that just have decided like, well,
that's my life. This is how it's going to be,
even if it feels painful and even if it doesn't
feel good. So I like that you help people kind
(08:46):
of look at those things and figure out a way
to get out of it. And you did mention the
holistic part, which I feel like as a financial planner
is so important. A lot of people think they have
an advisor, and that advisor might be looking at one
account that they manage, but that is not the big picture,
that's not everything going on in their financial life. And
so it is really important, I think, to look at
all of the different moving parts and the things that
(09:08):
you have available to you, because just having one one
view at one particular account really doesn't tell a full.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Story, no, and it you know it even from even
from your life circumstances, right, you know, figuring out what
are your goals in five years, whe are your goals
in ten years? How do you personally feel about debt?
Like sometimes I do have folks who are like, well,
my credit card debt stresses me out, but my student
(09:39):
loan debt I'm actually cool with and I'm just gonna
let it ride. You know how what about your family life?
You know, do you have family help? Do you not
have family help? So there's a lot of moving parts.
Insurance is a big part of that too, right, Making
sure that we're protected, making sure that we have estate
plans in place. All of that is really and in
(10:01):
a lot of the things that I work with one
on one with clients.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Yeah, it's it's definitely interesting.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
I know.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
My son asked me this morning. I bought him a
personal finance book for him to read. He's going into
seventh grade, and I was just really curious, like, what
do you find interesting about this? What do you think
is hard to understand? What do you think is easy?
Because I'm genuinely curious because sometimes we even if it's
something that he can understand, going like he's going to
be thirteen, like yeah, some of the basics are super
(10:28):
important to kind of repeat and go over and over again.
And he asked me this morning, He's like, are we
in debt? Great question, you know, but I think about
so many times when I talk to people about their
debt and they'll be like, no, I just have a mortgage.
I just have student loans. But I said, like, yes,
(10:49):
we do have you know, we have a mortgage, and
this is how it works and how we're paying it off.
And it was just interesting because you said about the
mindset part, like some of it doesn't feel bad and
some and I feel like we've just been conditioned to
feel like, well, everybody's going to have this, and it's
not that it's good or bad. It's just interesting to
me that some people just say no, just yes, just
(11:12):
this six hundred thousand dollars more and like so it's
just interesting how we see things and how sometimes people
who do have student loan debt or credit card.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Debt feel so.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Bad about it even though it is so prevalent, and
really it's just yes, the interest rates are high, and
it's something that we should tackle first. But it's not
like a it's not a judgment or a character or issue.
How do you help people who really feel that shame
(11:45):
and fear when it comes to having debt that maybe
isn't the good debt or the acceptable debt like a
mortgage or a business loan, which would no one wouldn't
even cross everyone's mind.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Yeah, absolutely, that is so common. And I'm going to
tell you ninety percent of the time, it comes from
your family. It comes from the way that you're raised,
and it comes from these deep seated things that you
heard when you were growing up. Dead is bad. You
should never owe anybody. It's going to be hanging over
(12:19):
your head anything along those lines. If you have to
borrow it, we can't afford it, or maybe a bad situation, right,
maybe you saw a parent get a foreclosure. Maybe you
saw them have to file bankruptcy and you are terrified
that that's going to be you, or you see that
(12:40):
as shameful. So it really just about as with everything
in life, just about everything when it comes to our
money mindset really stems from our childhood.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
And I think.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
It's amazing that you are already having these conversations with
your son.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
You know.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
It showed lots of studies show that our money mindset
is developed by the age of around seven, just pretty young.
And that's because we hear, even though maybe we don't
like see everything. Right, you go the store with your mom,
you see her use a check or credit card or
debit card or cash. You see what she's using to pay.
(13:20):
You might hear your parents talking about the bills, you know,
so you're going to hear all of that stuff is
going to get in you ingrained, and once it's ingrained
in your thoughts, your thoughts about money affect the way
that you feel about money, the way that you feel
if you're coming from a place of fear, if you're
coming from a place of shame, if you're coming from
(13:40):
a place of joy, it's going to affect the actions
that you take. All of those feelings are going to
affect what next step you're going to take, and then
obviously that's going to affect your results, which is going
to reinforce what you've thought in the first place. Typically,
So it is a cycle, and it's a cycle that
goes over and over and over again, unfortunately. So really
(14:03):
we have to identify where those thoughts are coming from.
So one thing I do, and if you're listening you
can do this too. A really easy exercise that you
can do to try to figure that out is think about, like,
what are those things that I've heard growing up all
the time about money. For a lot of people, it's
we can't afford that. Yeah, right, I hear that one
(14:24):
from my clients all the time. We can't afford that.
For me personally, it was well, to make money, I
got to work really hard.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
So guess what I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
I have like six jobs. I still haven't let that go,
you know, still working on it at forty over here.
But that's because it's like, all right, you want to
get ahead.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
You better hustle. You gotta hustle.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Hustle, hustle you get but in the work, get put
in the hours, show up early, stay stay late. For
other people, it might be that you know, being rich
is bad. Oh look at those people with those big houses. Oh,
they made a deal with the devil. They're bad, and
so we're scared to have more money.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
So that's definitely something I've seen, even with the guilt
and shame for people you mentioned like feelings of joy,
And that's one that I don't see a lot, even
with people that have plenty of money, is because now
they feel bad because their friends are all in time
and they were in a better I have one person
who didn't graduate with student loans, and she felt really
ashamed of that because all of her, her boyfriend and
her other friends had all this this.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Burden that she didn't have.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
And I'm like, that's interesting, because like, does anyone feel good?
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:36):
True, it's a really hard, a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Of work to get to a point where you feel
pretty good about the things that you're doing and the
the you know, the things that you're using your money
for once things are in alignment, to not feel bad
about doing the things you want to do. And so
I think it's so interesting, and you're right, I think
that is just a good exercises to think about your
(16:00):
thoughts about money, think about some of the things that
you've always heard about money. And you're right, some people
now are probably hearing a lot or children are hearing
a lot about the billionaires over here and this one
and then everybody else. And it is true there is
this disparity, and that is important to be kind of aware.
But it's also, you know, it's interesting to think like
(16:21):
there's a like yes and like yes, some people are
doing terrible things of lit it and some are not,
some are helpful, some are doing amazing things, you know,
So it's like we don't have to necessarily lump everyone
in a bucket, so we feel better about where we are.
So I think it's just it's it's interesting to kind
(16:42):
of start to question some of these long held beliefs.
So we had that Okay, dead is bad. Maybe you
did hear that, but maybe at the time it was
possible to go to college with a summer job, exactly
possible to buy a home with fifty thousand dollars, and
maybe now it's not. So things have kind of changed
where those stories are still the same. Our mindset doesn't
evolve as quickly as the rest of you know, the
(17:05):
world has caught up.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
So I think there's no better example of that than
to think about, like how especially women in our relationship
to money has changed over the years. Thinking about how
your grandmother probably could not even have opened a checking
account or a credit card by herself. Well, dang, how
do you think that's going to affect the way your
(17:28):
mom sees money? You know, she's going to think, oh,
I've got to have my dad or my brother or
my husband her husband.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
And you can't necessarily blame anybody for that because it
is no But also I think that we do kind
of maybe have some work to do on Okay, what
are we going to now?
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Do you know? Now, how do we want to handle things?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Because yes, those were the stories we heard, those were
the lessons we got. But like you said, you went
through a challenging divorce, you went through some financial where
you so you know, I think you having your own
financial literacy and all of that that is going to
help you then move forward and make stronger decisions instead
of saying, well, now, who's supposed to help me?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yeah, exactly, somebody to turn to.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
And so a lot of women I talk about this
a lot, need to even if they are working with
a partner on their finances, they need to be They
need to be part of the conversation. They need to
understand whether or not they're the one pressing you know,
the buys and cells or whatever it is that they're doing.
It's super important to have that level because we can't
(18:36):
necessarily just rely on somebody else to take care of it.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Oh, it's like the scariest thing to me, whether you know,
whether you're relying on a partner, whether you're relying on
it maybe parents. A lot of times that will happen.
I actually had a client who was a young woman
in her later twenties and she was with a partner,
(19:00):
but her parents had a very successful business. They're very
you know, they're very successful, and they helped her a lot.
And what she wanted and why we were working together
was really to build her independence, even though she was
never you know, she's going to be financially fine for
the rest of her life, we'll just put it that way, right,
(19:21):
But she never wanted to feel solely dependent on somebody,
or feel like she didn't have the education to make
an informed choice, or you know, even building up the courage,
because that's kind of scary, right you think about your
parents are very successful, you're the kid. They have that dynamic.
So to build up the confidence to say, well, what
(19:42):
is what are you passing down to me? And where
is it? And what's it invested in?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
And when am I going to get it?
Speaker 4 (19:49):
And what does that mean for me? And to help
her build her life and figure out what she wanted
to do and to plan accordingly. And those are some
scary questions to ask. And and I'm proud to say
that after months of working together, you know, she was
able to ask those questions and her parents had a
great response. They were so proud of her, and they
(20:10):
were really excited, especially her dad, which was interesting. And
so yeah, it's we never want to leave that solely
up to somebody else.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Right, If we don't have the answers, our brains will
fill in the information. And I think there are a
lot of people who assume they will get some sort
of inheritance that might not be true. I don't even
include that in the financial plan unless they are listed
on something and very aware of like what it is
and where it's coming from. And they might say, but
my mom, like eventually and it's like do we know
(20:40):
that for sure? If they're you know, long term care
costs end up eating away at the most of this
money that you think you're going to be inherited. And
so if you don't know, and I think that a
lot of times, it's just a maybe it's not a
comfortable topic. But I feel like if you're approaching it
from a place of curiosity, not a I hope you
pass away soon, because.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
When am I getting all this money? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Then I think most parents want to talk yes about
it because maybe they have some fears, maybe they're afraid
of when they aren't able to handle their finances anymore,
who's going to be enough to step in? And instead
of looking at you as this child who probably couldn't help,
maybe they start seeing the way that you can all
work together or certain things. So I have seen that
(21:20):
with some families where that conversation just getting it started
tends to be the hardest part, and then it can
be really helpful to loop them in with some decision making,
some ideas, some awareness. Sometimes families want them, you know,
their child to meet with me just for some basic
liters of getting them set up on the right path.
And I'm like this is a really healthy thing to
do because what if we did that, What if you
(21:43):
had a health issue that you passed on to your
wouldn't you want them to know about it and how
to help, like how to handle it and manage it.
But we look at money totally differently. Yes, but those
families that want to stay really to keep that generational
wealth that we talk about, typically it just a couple
of generations.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
For it to be gone, because it really does there, Yeah,
it really does, and the literacy is not there. You know,
I definitely had lots of clients and when I worked
in private banking who were quite wealthy, and I would
meet with their kids, and their kids wouldn't just be
missing that same level of knowledge. And it's really interesting that,
(22:25):
you know, a lot of times we are willing to
maybe pass on funds, but not all the time are
we willing to pass on sometimes that education. So yeah,
passing down that education is key.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
It's definitely key.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
And I think especially if you're somebody and say that
you have built a business like this woman's parents, and
you have been good with your money and you have
made good decisions, it's not just like that information is
really important to share and helpful. And also it's not
that they just get it because they're your kids. Yeah,
it doesn't just pass along where yes they're because a
(22:59):
lot of times they're their upbringing has probably been much
easier than yours was, where you had to earn this
money and you had to build it from maybe the
ground up, or maybe you're the first generation of wealth
building in your family, maybe the second or third, but
still you're probably you've done some things right where they
might have. Just maybe you weren't able to just ask
(23:21):
for things and get it, or it's just a different
it's a different world now. So I love the idea
of kind of giving your clients that courage and that
kind of ability to how do you.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Ask these questions?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
What are some good ways to do it without starting
a fight or making anybody feel offended? And just I
think approaching it with curiosity is so helpful.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Yes, And I also just want to piggyback on what
you said when you said that you know this knowledge
is not passed down. I think that's so encouraging for
everybody listening, whether you're coming from a wealthy family or
whether you're not, or whether you're feeling stuck or whatnot.
I would say one kind of mindset that I hear
(24:03):
all the time, and unfortunately a lot of times it
is from women, and it is I'm just not good
with money. Yeah, I'm not good with money. I'm not
good with numbers. I'm not good at that stuff. I
just like to spend. And we just tell ourselves this
story of like, I'm not good at it, but it's
not something you're born with.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
You're not born.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
Being good at money. It is money is such a
skill in anybody, no matter where you are in your journey,
can be better at this skill. It's practice, it's it's yoga,
it's cooking, it's whatever else you do. Those are two
of my hobbies. I don't know what.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
You weren't born good at cooking like you were, like
you just gotta have amazing Yeah you probably you know,
maybe your grandma and your grandma could cook up a storm,
but it doesn't.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Mean you're necessarily good at it.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
And I think that that's something I hear a and
I do believe that when I hear that, mostly from women,
that I'm just not good with money, I think that
that has held women down for a very long time.
And I think that story does not benefit women. It
only benefits people who are trying to, you know, have
control over women. And I've heard people who've gone through
divorces say that, my husband just.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Told me what you don't want to work. You don't
want to do this, it's too stressful for you. Let
me handle.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Everything because you're not good at it. You've made some
financial bad decisions before.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Who hasn't. Yeah, we all when you have.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Somebody saying you're not good with this, or you're repeating
that in your head, yes, I've made bad.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Decisions, but you've also made good decisions. We are very quick.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
To dismiss those good decisions because a lot of these
women went to college, got a job, pay their bills
before they got married, all of these things that they
were able to do on their own immediately, when they're
in a situation where there is a power imbalance, it's well,
I guess you're right, maybe I'm not good at it.
And I think that that really it doesn't serve anyone.
(25:59):
And I think I think it's so important for people
to kind of when they hear themselves thinking that, just
beyond yourself, what does that mean that you can do?
Does it mean you can step out from these stressful decisions.
It's kind of giving your brain this like, Okay, well,
I guess we'll let someone else better handle it. But
it's really, you know, it's still going to be something
(26:20):
that's going to come up in your life at some
point or another. Even if you have an amazing, caring
spouse who does take everything off your plate, a lot
of women eventually are going to have to manage the
finances again at some point, whether it's through divorce, widows.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
I think life changes. Yeah, sickness, illness, all of those things.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
So definitely if you say that to yourself, beyond to you,
yes you stopped out.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Yeah, I give it a three part play by play
that I ask clients to do. So first, the first
thing we do is we start to spot those thoughts
that are no longer serving us, so just be aware
of them, like you said, right yourself out a little bit.
Oh gosh, I saw this credit card bill and the mail.
My first initial instinct was to be like, ugh, I'm
(27:08):
not good at this or I don't want to deal
with it right. Yeah, Secondly we want to then, you know,
really like think about what can we replace that with? Okay,
so maybe that means you have to do a little work,
You have to maybe create some mantras, or you have
to think about what would be healthy to replace this with.
So maybe it's you know what, I am actually really smart,
(27:30):
I have a master's degree. Why am I scared of
a freaking credit card bill? Or why am I scared
of my investment account?
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Right?
Speaker 4 (27:37):
And then we really want to start to ingrain that
into this feeling, so, you know, feeling more confident, putting
ourselves in a good position. So once we can get
that down, that's really where change starts. And it doesn't
happen overnight. You know, this is stuff that you work
(27:58):
on for for years, for months, you know, and even
just sometimes like shaking it off, right, like knowing that
I felt this way or I saw this thought come
through my mind, you know, do a little shake off,
like all right, let me just take a breather, let
me walk away for a second. I'm going to come back,
and I'm going to come back with like a whole
(28:18):
new attitude and pat come back to this problem with
whatever that attitude that you want to have.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
So I like the.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Way you reframe that because I think a lot of
times people think about mindset work, and they think about
having to jump from I am afraid I hate paying
these credit card bills too.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
I love paying my bills every.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Month, and that is not a natural organic that's a
big jump for your brain. But I do think that
you're spot on when it comes to shifting it slightly
to Okay, I'm happy that I have enough money in
the bank to pay these bills today, or yeah, or
to kind of when you start to align you're spending
with you know, with what you value in what you want,
(29:00):
you feel like, yeah, Okay, this is my credit card
bill this month.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
But it got me the groceries I needed.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
It got me the things that I you know that,
and I felt okay with it, and now you will
just pay that off and start again, you know, fresh
the next month. I think trying to have that little
ladder between your thought today and the thought that you
hope for at some point we can all find things
that are true today. I'm happy that I can pay
my bills today. I'm happy that I got the education
(29:26):
with this, you know, I value some of the things
that I've done. To kind of shift away from feeling
that I don't want to do this, somebody else, please
take this away from me to a point where it
is it is healthy and at some point, like I
like being able to pay my bills because I remember
that being a very stressful thing all.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
The time, you know, when I was growing up.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
I like that I can, you know, turn the air
conditioner on. I don't love the bills when they go
up for certain things, but sometimes I do look at
it and say, okay, cable is kind of high.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
Do I need this anymore? Is this still serving me?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Or is this just something I've always done and you know,
evaluated a way like, yeah, it's worth it.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I want it.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
We keep paying it, and I'm not going to cry
every time the bill comes or let me rid of it.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Yes anymore? And I think that is just a you.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Know, there's certain bills that I will happily pay and
it's fine.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
Yeah. That sense of gratitude is huge, developing a gratitude practice.
If anybody's listening, you haven't done that yet, highly encourage.
It changes your relationship normally with money, but it changes
your relationship with relationships and so many things.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
And it's not just about.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Saying, you know, which we do that, we do this
in our household we say three things were grateful for
at the end of the day, and we have no repeats.
That's the hard part.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
And say my dog every day.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
Yeah you can't, I know, even though it's true, but yeah,
I can't say that every day. But whatever that might be.
Some people are more journaling, but really even like going
deeper and like in some of the challenging parts of
your life, especially if you're going through a challenging time,
what can you be grateful for in that moment? And
that is not easy z sometimes to think about. But
(31:03):
I had a friend who she does a lot of
mindset work, and she does a lot of meditation work,
and she taught me that trick of when you're going
through a hard time or you're facing a problem, you know,
write down ten things that you're grateful for about that problem,
and magically you just really end up feeling a lot better.
(31:25):
You end up letting it go, and then whatever it
is usually ends up working out the way that it
is supposed to work out, too, Right.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yeah, I think that's such a and I think that
it's it's tough for people, but once you start, I
think it is helpful.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
I think of all of the things.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
That I have today. At one point, there were things
that I dreamed about, things that I really want.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Absolutely, I don't think that.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
You know, a lot of times we do have this
problem where we feel like, oh, I can't want so much,
I can't want more.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
That's greedy. I just have to be grateful for what
I have. And it's like, no, that's not the point.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
You can be grateful for what you have today and
want more or something different in the future. And that's
how you get it.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
And that's because your attitude changes, your outlook changes, and
all of a sudden, strangely enough, good things start happening.
You know, the doors open. Once your confidence changes and
your outlook about money changes, amazing things happen. I have
clients tell me all that I was just telling you
before we got on this call. I have clients tell
me all the time that these great things happen after
(32:23):
working together because their money confidence is just like at
an all time high. And it's about the money, but
it's even more than about the money. It's about the
confidence that comes with it. And I had a client
just tell me she's going to Paris for a full month,
and I'm like, that is incredible and I'm so happy
for you on that. I've had other people say they
get a new job, they're in a new relationship. Right,
(32:45):
you can imagine how feeling good about your money and
feeling confident you just might be like a magnet for
like your next partner.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
How cool is that?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Because if you feel I'm terrible, I'm not worthy of
like you know, love or respect or anything, and I
treat myself for But you know that can shift pretty
quickly if you start to feel like, hey, I'm okay
with this or I'm not, you know, a total vailure
because I've made some mistakes in the past. And then
I think that that kind of does come through. And
I love that you mentioned, you know, the client who's
(33:15):
spending a month in Paris. There's so many people who
are building their financial you know right now might think
I can't even dream of that, that's never gonna happen,
And I think your brain believes, Okay, let's find some
proof that this will never happen and serve it up, right,
like you don't have enough money, you don't enough time,
you don't have this or that. But I love that
the client, like after she worked with you, started to
(33:37):
probably think differently about what is possible and how much.
Maybe instead of being like no, no, no, being curious like, well.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
How much is that?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Yeah? Maybe I could do that?
Speaker 4 (33:49):
Or what do I have to you know?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
What do I have to sacrifice a little bit things?
And like that's like anything we do that we're planning
for in advance, you just get curious about who's.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
Done this before you can find people.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
You could find oh yeah, much information now without spending
a dime. I think it's just we've never had more
access to information. If we are curious about certain things
that we don't even want to say out loud, yet
we can find out information. And so I love that
that whole shift probably started with wanting to get in
control of her money, and now it's living a life
that is more you know, using her money for those goals,
(34:22):
more than the money the things that she wants to
do in those bigger dreams.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
So I love that.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
I think that's such an important losson for everybody to
kind of think about, is like maybe instead of a
flat no, we can't do these things that other people do, well,
maybe just getting curious instead see when that could happen
if you wanted it. I heard yesterday.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
I was listening to another podcast by Kathy Heller I
think was around her book but anyway, so I won't
take credit for it, but she was talking about the
difference between probability and possibility and like, what are you
looking at it likeab probably maybe that goal might maybe
not going to turn out exactly what it likes. But
when you're looking at it, it's just kind of like
won't won't feel so sad. But when you look at
(35:06):
it from like, okay, but what's you know possible? Well,
anything's possible and it lets us dream a little bigger,
which is exciting because we all deserve to live that
like really fulfilling big life that we want to.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
I agree, Well, thank you so much for joining youde.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
How can people find you or follow you if they
want to learn more about you and your services?
Speaker 4 (35:28):
Yes, so come join me on Instagram. My handle is
at holistic dot personal dot finance. Can also visit me
at my website. It's Holistic Personal dot finance. I got
the dot finance in there, and yeah, those are the
two blessed ways to connect. If you ever have any questions,
I'm always open for dms. It's me answering, so feel
(35:51):
free to DM away and I will personally respond well.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Thank you, thank you so much for joining, and thank
you everyone for listening. If you're thinking about some of
your money mindset and some of some of the work
that we talked about today, if you want to head
over to Missy Lynch dot com you can find a
copy of my book. We have tons of journal prompts
in that book. I think there's probably about ninety different
questions that you could ask yourself. And also you can
catch up on other episodes of the podcast. Thank you
(36:14):
so much for joining, and we'll talk again next week.
Thank you for joining us on another insightful episode of
Demistifying Money. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate,
and leave a review. Stay tuned for more engaging conversations
on our next episode, and remember knowledge is the key
to financial empowerment.
Welcome to the Demistifying Money podcast, where each week you
will hear unforgettable conversations with expert guests about success, money, business,
and small steps you can take to elevate your life
and wealth. Now here's your host, Misty Lynch.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hi, thank you so much for joining us for this
episode of Demistifying Money. I'm your host, Misty Lynch, and
I'm joined by Genevieve Anderson. She's the founder of Holistic
Personal Finance in New Orleans, Louisiana, and she is Yeah,
she is an accredited financial counselor and she helps people
with some high touch financial coaching and help.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Thank you so much, Jennie for coming on the show today.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I'm so excited.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 5 (00:43):
This episode of Demistifying Money with Misty Lynch is proudly
sponsored by Soundview Financial Advisors. Visit www dot Soundview financial
Advisors dot com to learn more.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Can you tell us?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I know I was going to go into your backstory,
but I love to hear it from you. Can you
tell us a bit about your journey and how you
came to create this business that you're in today.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Absolutely so. I've actually been working in the financial services
industry for just about close to fifteen years. It's been
a long It's been a long time, and in my
journey in my career, I have moved. I did a
lot of client facing things for about ten years, and
then around three four years ago, I decided to move
(01:30):
into more back office work when it comes to financial services,
which is still really exciting. But I missed having that
one on one connection that I had with clients when
I was working in private banking and being able to
kind of follow them along and watch their journey and
watch them grow and help them through many stages of life.
So around that same time that I was considering picking
(01:53):
up something on the side or doing something different, I
had about four people in life reach out to me
for questions around their finances and just really simple stuff.
You know, my in laws want to contribute to my
kids college? How do I do that? You know, I
want to buy this house. What's the best way to
(02:14):
go about this? I know there's like ten different options.
I have a ton of credit card debt. How am
I going to pay this down? And so I got
to thinking, I was like, all right, if my friends
and family are reaching out about stuff like this, you know,
I know other people are having these questions and this
is something that is needed. And as I continue to
research financial coaching and different businesses, it really struck me
(02:38):
that a lot of either coaches and advisors, you know,
they look at a lot of the mental and money mindset,
but not a ton. So I really created holistic personal
finance because I wanted to look at folks' finances from
every single angle, from how do you feel about money?
(02:58):
To what's your retirement into what's your cash flow? Like
is money feel easy for you? If it doesn't, how
do we make that easier. So that's really what I
do with my clients, and I've been doing that for
about three or four years now.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I think it's I love how you know, I think
we can have experience in this industry and even when
you said working in this industry for fifteen years, that
people would come with you with simple questions like how
do I buy this house or pay off credit card?
And it's funny because we're so exposed to these questions
and these processes all the time, where I think some
people might think that you know that it is complicated,
(03:34):
it's hard to figure out. So I think that's so
great that you're able to kind of take that and
break it down and make it something that you could
explain to your friends and to your family, and then
realize that there is this overall need where some people
might just really be very confused on where to start
and have a lot of, you know, the mindset work
that they need to do to not feel bad about,
you know, having to pay out debt. And you've paid
(03:55):
off consumer debt yourself, Can you tell us a little
bit about how you've done that on your own and
how that helped you become a better coach for other
people who are in that same situation.
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Absolutely, And that's a part of the reason why I
also wanted to start this, because even being in the industry,
I knew exactly what to do. I went through unfortunately
or really devastating divorce both mentally and emotionally, but also
financially too. I lost over fifty percent of my net
worth to my ex. So that really makes you feel
(04:26):
not great. It's not a fun place to be in,
and I know a lot of people can relate to
that as well. So it really took a long time
for me not to even know what to do because
I kind of knew some of those practical steps, but
to really work on myself emotionally, physically even like getting
in shape, just really under feeling like I have the
(04:47):
confidence to do the actual things. And then I had
a light bulb moment. I was working on somebody else's
financial plan, and I was helping them retire and running
a bunch of numbers and putting all this effort and
work into it, and all of a sudden, I thought
to myself, why am I not doing this for me?
(05:09):
Like why am I not the client? Like am I
not worthy of spending an hour or two on my
own financial situation to like actually figure it out? And so,
you know, don't tell my work. But immediately that's what
I did. I close that file. I opened up a
whole new file, and.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
I started putting my own information in there.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
And the very first thing I did is I just
data dumped and I got everything out on one page.
And then I think the other thing that helped me
personally get out of debt. I was over close to
forty thousand dollars. I had also gone and got my MBA,
so I had some student loan debt that was piled
on top of that too. But what really helped me
(05:52):
is not only seeing it all on paper, but also
getting really creative with how I could earn extra money.
And that is not an easy place to be a
lot of us when we are you know, we're graduated,
we're adults, we're maybe in our thirties, maybe in our forties,
and you know, the idea of a side hustle, of
(06:13):
doing a second job, of getting a roommate, which is
something that I did. I did peer to peer lending.
I it took on side work additionally, you know, so
I did a lot of kind of unusual things to
just make extra money on the side. And that's a
hard place to be with. But I think also knowing
that it was temporary, it's like, Okay, I just need
(06:35):
to do this for two years and then I can
knock this out and I'm going to be in such
a better place. So those are some things that helped
me get from that place of being in debt and
in a bad situation to finally having that aha moment
and then being able to be like, all right, now
we're in mode and we're we're going.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Yeah, and I you definitely you know, thinking about creative
ways to generate more income, because I feel like sometimes
people hear that and they think, but I don't have
any time. I should be able to pay off everything
with my salary, you know, or you know, my education,
all of those things, and sometimes it isn't a matter
of cutting. And I think that's a lot of times
what people think when it comes to their budget, and
it's like, well, perhaps increasing income is a better you know,
(07:18):
perhaps a better idea or more possible. And so I
think that's that's great to hear that you were able
to do that yourself, because it's just proof again that
this can be done and it can be seen as
a temporary thing. And I think once you have those
numbers in front of you in that goal and you
can see how quickly it'll take you to see in
another spot, you're able to kind of set those expectations
(07:38):
and move forward. Which I think is what holds a
lot of people back from even trying is because they think, oh,
I have thirty thousand dollars in credit card debt, forty
thousand dollars in credit cardet it's never going to go away.
And what do they do when your brain is thinking,
I feel awful about this, what's going to make me
feel better, usually spending money, Yeah, spending more money and
(08:02):
going into more debt. And we have these all or
nothing mindsets where we think, well, if I can't pay
it all off tomorrow, what's the point. I might as
well just stay and up for the rest of my life,
which is so it just kind of keeps us stuck
in that same place. So I like that you've kind
of plotted out, like how long will this actually take
for me to do? How much do I need to
bring in extra? And then you can kind of adjust
the timeline accordingly to what you can what you can handle,
(08:26):
and figure out a way to get out because it
is such a It is such an interesting thing to
see the people I talk to that are deep in doubt,
whether it's you know, six figure you know, student loans
and a combination of things that just have decided like, well,
that's my life. This is how it's going to be,
even if it feels painful and even if it doesn't
feel good. So I like that you help people kind
(08:46):
of look at those things and figure out a way
to get out of it. And you did mention the
holistic part, which I feel like as a financial planner
is so important. A lot of people think they have
an advisor, and that advisor might be looking at one
account that they manage, but that is not the big picture,
that's not everything going on in their financial life. And
so it is really important, I think, to look at
all of the different moving parts and the things that
(09:08):
you have available to you, because just having one one
view at one particular account really doesn't tell a full.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
Story, no, and it you know it even from even
from your life circumstances, right, you know, figuring out what
are your goals in five years, whe are your goals
in ten years? How do you personally feel about debt?
Like sometimes I do have folks who are like, well,
my credit card debt stresses me out, but my student
(09:39):
loan debt I'm actually cool with and I'm just gonna
let it ride. You know how what about your family life?
You know, do you have family help? Do you not
have family help? So there's a lot of moving parts.
Insurance is a big part of that too, right, Making
sure that we're protected, making sure that we have estate
plans in place. All of that is really and in
(10:01):
a lot of the things that I work with one
on one with clients.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
Yeah, it's it's definitely interesting.
Speaker 4 (10:07):
I know.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
My son asked me this morning. I bought him a
personal finance book for him to read. He's going into
seventh grade, and I was just really curious, like, what
do you find interesting about this? What do you think
is hard to understand? What do you think is easy?
Because I'm genuinely curious because sometimes we even if it's
something that he can understand, going like he's going to
be thirteen, like yeah, some of the basics are super
(10:28):
important to kind of repeat and go over and over again.
And he asked me this morning, He's like, are we
in debt? Great question, you know, but I think about
so many times when I talk to people about their
debt and they'll be like, no, I just have a mortgage.
I just have student loans. But I said, like, yes,
(10:49):
we do have you know, we have a mortgage, and
this is how it works and how we're paying it off.
And it was just interesting because you said about the
mindset part, like some of it doesn't feel bad and
some and I feel like we've just been conditioned to
feel like, well, everybody's going to have this, and it's
not that it's good or bad. It's just interesting to
me that some people just say no, just yes, just
(11:12):
this six hundred thousand dollars more and like so it's
just interesting how we see things and how sometimes people
who do have student loan debt or credit card.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Debt feel so.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Bad about it even though it is so prevalent, and
really it's just yes, the interest rates are high, and
it's something that we should tackle first. But it's not
like a it's not a judgment or a character or issue.
How do you help people who really feel that shame
(11:45):
and fear when it comes to having debt that maybe
isn't the good debt or the acceptable debt like a
mortgage or a business loan, which would no one wouldn't
even cross everyone's mind.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
Yeah, absolutely, that is so common. And I'm going to
tell you ninety percent of the time, it comes from
your family. It comes from the way that you're raised,
and it comes from these deep seated things that you
heard when you were growing up. Dead is bad. You
should never owe anybody. It's going to be hanging over
(12:19):
your head anything along those lines. If you have to
borrow it, we can't afford it, or maybe a bad situation, right,
maybe you saw a parent get a foreclosure. Maybe you
saw them have to file bankruptcy and you are terrified
that that's going to be you, or you see that
(12:40):
as shameful. So it really just about as with everything
in life, just about everything when it comes to our
money mindset really stems from our childhood.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
And I think.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
It's amazing that you are already having these conversations with
your son.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
You know.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
It showed lots of studies show that our money mindset
is developed by the age of around seven, just pretty young.
And that's because we hear, even though maybe we don't
like see everything. Right, you go the store with your mom,
you see her use a check or credit card or
debit card or cash. You see what she's using to pay.
(13:20):
You might hear your parents talking about the bills, you know,
so you're going to hear all of that stuff is
going to get in you ingrained, and once it's ingrained
in your thoughts, your thoughts about money affect the way
that you feel about money, the way that you feel
if you're coming from a place of fear, if you're
coming from a place of shame, if you're coming from
(13:40):
a place of joy, it's going to affect the actions
that you take. All of those feelings are going to
affect what next step you're going to take, and then
obviously that's going to affect your results, which is going
to reinforce what you've thought in the first place. Typically,
So it is a cycle, and it's a cycle that
goes over and over and over again, unfortunately. So really
(14:03):
we have to identify where those thoughts are coming from.
So one thing I do, and if you're listening you
can do this too. A really easy exercise that you
can do to try to figure that out is think about, like,
what are those things that I've heard growing up all
the time about money. For a lot of people, it's
we can't afford that. Yeah, right, I hear that one
(14:24):
from my clients all the time. We can't afford that.
For me personally, it was well, to make money, I
got to work really hard.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
So guess what I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
I have like six jobs. I still haven't let that go,
you know, still working on it at forty over here.
But that's because it's like, all right, you want to
get ahead.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
You better hustle. You gotta hustle.
Speaker 4 (14:48):
Hustle, hustle you get but in the work, get put
in the hours, show up early, stay stay late. For
other people, it might be that you know, being rich
is bad. Oh look at those people with those big houses. Oh,
they made a deal with the devil. They're bad, and
so we're scared to have more money.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
So that's definitely something I've seen, even with the guilt
and shame for people you mentioned like feelings of joy,
And that's one that I don't see a lot, even
with people that have plenty of money, is because now
they feel bad because their friends are all in time
and they were in a better I have one person
who didn't graduate with student loans, and she felt really
ashamed of that because all of her, her boyfriend and
her other friends had all this this.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
Burden that she didn't have.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
And I'm like, that's interesting, because like, does anyone feel good?
Speaker 1 (15:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:36):
True, it's a really hard, a lot.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Of work to get to a point where you feel
pretty good about the things that you're doing and the
the you know, the things that you're using your money
for once things are in alignment, to not feel bad
about doing the things you want to do. And so
I think it's so interesting, and you're right, I think
that is just a good exercises to think about your
(16:00):
thoughts about money, think about some of the things that
you've always heard about money. And you're right, some people
now are probably hearing a lot or children are hearing
a lot about the billionaires over here and this one
and then everybody else. And it is true there is
this disparity, and that is important to be kind of aware.
But it's also, you know, it's interesting to think like
(16:21):
there's a like yes and like yes, some people are
doing terrible things of lit it and some are not,
some are helpful, some are doing amazing things, you know,
So it's like we don't have to necessarily lump everyone
in a bucket, so we feel better about where we are.
So I think it's just it's it's interesting to kind
(16:42):
of start to question some of these long held beliefs.
So we had that Okay, dead is bad. Maybe you
did hear that, but maybe at the time it was
possible to go to college with a summer job, exactly
possible to buy a home with fifty thousand dollars, and
maybe now it's not. So things have kind of changed
where those stories are still the same. Our mindset doesn't
evolve as quickly as the rest of you know, the
(17:05):
world has caught up.
Speaker 4 (17:06):
So I think there's no better example of that than
to think about, like how especially women in our relationship
to money has changed over the years. Thinking about how
your grandmother probably could not even have opened a checking
account or a credit card by herself. Well, dang, how
do you think that's going to affect the way your
(17:28):
mom sees money? You know, she's going to think, oh,
I've got to have my dad or my brother or
my husband her husband.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
And you can't necessarily blame anybody for that because it
is no But also I think that we do kind
of maybe have some work to do on Okay, what
are we going to now?
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Do you know? Now, how do we want to handle things?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Because yes, those were the stories we heard, those were
the lessons we got. But like you said, you went
through a challenging divorce, you went through some financial where
you so you know, I think you having your own
financial literacy and all of that that is going to
help you then move forward and make stronger decisions instead
of saying, well, now, who's supposed to help me?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yeah, exactly, somebody to turn to.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
And so a lot of women I talk about this
a lot, need to even if they are working with
a partner on their finances, they need to be They
need to be part of the conversation. They need to
understand whether or not they're the one pressing you know,
the buys and cells or whatever it is that they're doing.
It's super important to have that level because we can't
(18:36):
necessarily just rely on somebody else to take care of it.
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Oh, it's like the scariest thing to me, whether you know,
whether you're relying on a partner, whether you're relying on
it maybe parents. A lot of times that will happen.
I actually had a client who was a young woman
in her later twenties and she was with a partner,
(19:00):
but her parents had a very successful business. They're very
you know, they're very successful, and they helped her a lot.
And what she wanted and why we were working together
was really to build her independence, even though she was
never you know, she's going to be financially fine for
the rest of her life, we'll just put it that way, right,
(19:21):
But she never wanted to feel solely dependent on somebody,
or feel like she didn't have the education to make
an informed choice, or you know, even building up the courage,
because that's kind of scary, right you think about your
parents are very successful, you're the kid. They have that dynamic.
So to build up the confidence to say, well, what
(19:42):
is what are you passing down to me? And where
is it? And what's it invested in?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
And when am I going to get it?
Speaker 4 (19:49):
And what does that mean for me? And to help
her build her life and figure out what she wanted
to do and to plan accordingly. And those are some
scary questions to ask. And and I'm proud to say
that after months of working together, you know, she was
able to ask those questions and her parents had a
great response. They were so proud of her, and they
(20:10):
were really excited, especially her dad, which was interesting. And
so yeah, it's we never want to leave that solely
up to somebody else.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Right, If we don't have the answers, our brains will
fill in the information. And I think there are a
lot of people who assume they will get some sort
of inheritance that might not be true. I don't even
include that in the financial plan unless they are listed
on something and very aware of like what it is
and where it's coming from. And they might say, but
my mom, like eventually and it's like do we know
(20:40):
that for sure? If they're you know, long term care
costs end up eating away at the most of this
money that you think you're going to be inherited. And
so if you don't know, and I think that a
lot of times, it's just a maybe it's not a
comfortable topic. But I feel like if you're approaching it
from a place of curiosity, not a I hope you
pass away soon, because.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
When am I getting all this money? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Then I think most parents want to talk yes about
it because maybe they have some fears, maybe they're afraid
of when they aren't able to handle their finances anymore,
who's going to be enough to step in? And instead
of looking at you as this child who probably couldn't help,
maybe they start seeing the way that you can all
work together or certain things. So I have seen that
(21:20):
with some families where that conversation just getting it started
tends to be the hardest part, and then it can
be really helpful to loop them in with some decision making,
some ideas, some awareness. Sometimes families want them, you know,
their child to meet with me just for some basic
liters of getting them set up on the right path.
And I'm like this is a really healthy thing to
do because what if we did that, What if you
(21:43):
had a health issue that you passed on to your
wouldn't you want them to know about it and how
to help, like how to handle it and manage it.
But we look at money totally differently. Yes, but those
families that want to stay really to keep that generational
wealth that we talk about, typically it just a couple
of generations.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
For it to be gone, because it really does there, Yeah,
it really does, and the literacy is not there. You know,
I definitely had lots of clients and when I worked
in private banking who were quite wealthy, and I would
meet with their kids, and their kids wouldn't just be
missing that same level of knowledge. And it's really interesting that,
(22:25):
you know, a lot of times we are willing to
maybe pass on funds, but not all the time are
we willing to pass on sometimes that education. So yeah,
passing down that education is key.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
It's definitely key.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
And I think especially if you're somebody and say that
you have built a business like this woman's parents, and
you have been good with your money and you have
made good decisions, it's not just like that information is
really important to share and helpful. And also it's not
that they just get it because they're your kids. Yeah,
it doesn't just pass along where yes they're because a
(22:59):
lot of times they're their upbringing has probably been much
easier than yours was, where you had to earn this
money and you had to build it from maybe the
ground up, or maybe you're the first generation of wealth
building in your family, maybe the second or third, but
still you're probably you've done some things right where they
might have. Just maybe you weren't able to just ask
(23:21):
for things and get it, or it's just a different
it's a different world now. So I love the idea
of kind of giving your clients that courage and that
kind of ability to how do you.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Ask these questions?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
What are some good ways to do it without starting
a fight or making anybody feel offended? And just I
think approaching it with curiosity is so helpful.
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Yes, And I also just want to piggyback on what
you said when you said that you know this knowledge
is not passed down. I think that's so encouraging for
everybody listening, whether you're coming from a wealthy family or
whether you're not, or whether you're feeling stuck or whatnot.
I would say one kind of mindset that I hear
(24:03):
all the time, and unfortunately a lot of times it
is from women, and it is I'm just not good
with money. Yeah, I'm not good with money. I'm not
good with numbers. I'm not good at that stuff. I
just like to spend. And we just tell ourselves this
story of like, I'm not good at it, but it's
not something you're born with.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
You're not born.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
Being good at money. It is money is such a
skill in anybody, no matter where you are in your journey,
can be better at this skill. It's practice, it's it's yoga,
it's cooking, it's whatever else you do. Those are two
of my hobbies. I don't know what.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
You weren't born good at cooking like you were, like
you just gotta have amazing Yeah you probably you know,
maybe your grandma and your grandma could cook up a storm,
but it doesn't.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Mean you're necessarily good at it.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
And I think that that's something I hear a and
I do believe that when I hear that, mostly from women,
that I'm just not good with money, I think that
that has held women down for a very long time.
And I think that story does not benefit women. It
only benefits people who are trying to, you know, have
control over women. And I've heard people who've gone through
divorces say that, my husband just.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Told me what you don't want to work. You don't
want to do this, it's too stressful for you. Let
me handle.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Everything because you're not good at it. You've made some
financial bad decisions before.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Who hasn't. Yeah, we all when you have.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Somebody saying you're not good with this, or you're repeating
that in your head, yes, I've made bad.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Decisions, but you've also made good decisions. We are very quick.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
To dismiss those good decisions because a lot of these
women went to college, got a job, pay their bills
before they got married, all of these things that they
were able to do on their own immediately, when they're
in a situation where there is a power imbalance, it's well,
I guess you're right, maybe I'm not good at it.
And I think that that really it doesn't serve anyone.
(25:59):
And I think I think it's so important for people
to kind of when they hear themselves thinking that, just
beyond yourself, what does that mean that you can do?
Does it mean you can step out from these stressful decisions.
It's kind of giving your brain this like, Okay, well,
I guess we'll let someone else better handle it. But
it's really, you know, it's still going to be something
(26:20):
that's going to come up in your life at some
point or another. Even if you have an amazing, caring
spouse who does take everything off your plate, a lot
of women eventually are going to have to manage the
finances again at some point, whether it's through divorce, widows.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
I think life changes. Yeah, sickness, illness, all of those things.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
So definitely if you say that to yourself, beyond to you,
yes you stopped out.
Speaker 4 (26:45):
Yeah, I give it a three part play by play
that I ask clients to do. So first, the first
thing we do is we start to spot those thoughts
that are no longer serving us, so just be aware
of them, like you said, right yourself out a little bit.
Oh gosh, I saw this credit card bill and the mail.
My first initial instinct was to be like, ugh, I'm
(27:08):
not good at this or I don't want to deal
with it right. Yeah, Secondly we want to then, you know,
really like think about what can we replace that with? Okay,
so maybe that means you have to do a little work,
You have to maybe create some mantras, or you have
to think about what would be healthy to replace this with.
So maybe it's you know what, I am actually really smart,
(27:30):
I have a master's degree. Why am I scared of
a freaking credit card bill? Or why am I scared
of my investment account?
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Right?
Speaker 4 (27:37):
And then we really want to start to ingrain that
into this feeling, so, you know, feeling more confident, putting
ourselves in a good position. So once we can get
that down, that's really where change starts. And it doesn't
happen overnight. You know, this is stuff that you work
(27:58):
on for for years, for months, you know, and even
just sometimes like shaking it off, right, like knowing that
I felt this way or I saw this thought come
through my mind, you know, do a little shake off,
like all right, let me just take a breather, let
me walk away for a second. I'm going to come back,
and I'm going to come back with like a whole
(28:18):
new attitude and pat come back to this problem with
whatever that attitude that you want to have.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
So I like the.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Way you reframe that because I think a lot of
times people think about mindset work, and they think about
having to jump from I am afraid I hate paying
these credit card bills too.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
I love paying my bills every.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Month, and that is not a natural organic that's a
big jump for your brain. But I do think that
you're spot on when it comes to shifting it slightly
to Okay, I'm happy that I have enough money in
the bank to pay these bills today, or yeah, or
to kind of when you start to align you're spending
with you know, with what you value in what you want,
(29:00):
you feel like, yeah, Okay, this is my credit card
bill this month.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
But it got me the groceries I needed.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
It got me the things that I you know that,
and I felt okay with it, and now you will
just pay that off and start again, you know, fresh
the next month. I think trying to have that little
ladder between your thought today and the thought that you
hope for at some point we can all find things
that are true today. I'm happy that I can pay
my bills today. I'm happy that I got the education
(29:26):
with this, you know, I value some of the things
that I've done. To kind of shift away from feeling
that I don't want to do this, somebody else, please
take this away from me to a point where it
is it is healthy and at some point, like I
like being able to pay my bills because I remember
that being a very stressful thing all.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
The time, you know, when I was growing up.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
I like that I can, you know, turn the air
conditioner on. I don't love the bills when they go
up for certain things, but sometimes I do look at
it and say, okay, cable is kind of high.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
Do I need this anymore? Is this still serving me?
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Or is this just something I've always done and you know,
evaluated a way like, yeah, it's worth it.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I want it.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
We keep paying it, and I'm not going to cry
every time the bill comes or let me rid of it.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Yes anymore? And I think that is just a you.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Know, there's certain bills that I will happily pay and
it's fine.
Speaker 4 (30:11):
Yeah. That sense of gratitude is huge, developing a gratitude practice.
If anybody's listening, you haven't done that yet, highly encourage.
It changes your relationship normally with money, but it changes
your relationship with relationships and so many things.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
And it's not just about.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Saying, you know, which we do that, we do this
in our household we say three things were grateful for
at the end of the day, and we have no repeats.
That's the hard part.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
And say my dog every day.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
Yeah you can't, I know, even though it's true, but yeah,
I can't say that every day. But whatever that might be.
Some people are more journaling, but really even like going
deeper and like in some of the challenging parts of
your life, especially if you're going through a challenging time,
what can you be grateful for in that moment? And
that is not easy z sometimes to think about. But
(31:03):
I had a friend who she does a lot of
mindset work, and she does a lot of meditation work,
and she taught me that trick of when you're going
through a hard time or you're facing a problem, you know,
write down ten things that you're grateful for about that problem,
and magically you just really end up feeling a lot better.
(31:25):
You end up letting it go, and then whatever it
is usually ends up working out the way that it
is supposed to work out, too, Right.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yeah, I think that's such a and I think that
it's it's tough for people, but once you start, I
think it is helpful.
Speaker 3 (31:38):
I think of all of the things.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
That I have today. At one point, there were things
that I dreamed about, things that I really want.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
Absolutely, I don't think that.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
You know, a lot of times we do have this
problem where we feel like, oh, I can't want so much,
I can't want more.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
That's greedy. I just have to be grateful for what
I have. And it's like, no, that's not the point.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
You can be grateful for what you have today and
want more or something different in the future. And that's
how you get it.
Speaker 4 (32:01):
And that's because your attitude changes, your outlook changes, and
all of a sudden, strangely enough, good things start happening.
You know, the doors open. Once your confidence changes and
your outlook about money changes, amazing things happen. I have
clients tell me all that I was just telling you
before we got on this call. I have clients tell
me all the time that these great things happen after
(32:23):
working together because their money confidence is just like at
an all time high. And it's about the money, but
it's even more than about the money. It's about the
confidence that comes with it. And I had a client
just tell me she's going to Paris for a full month,
and I'm like, that is incredible and I'm so happy
for you on that. I've had other people say they
get a new job, they're in a new relationship. Right,
(32:45):
you can imagine how feeling good about your money and
feeling confident you just might be like a magnet for
like your next partner.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
How cool is that?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Because if you feel I'm terrible, I'm not worthy of
like you know, love or respect or anything, and I
treat myself for But you know that can shift pretty
quickly if you start to feel like, hey, I'm okay
with this or I'm not, you know, a total vailure
because I've made some mistakes in the past. And then
I think that that kind of does come through. And
I love that you mentioned, you know, the client who's
(33:15):
spending a month in Paris. There's so many people who
are building their financial you know right now might think
I can't even dream of that, that's never gonna happen,
And I think your brain believes, Okay, let's find some
proof that this will never happen and serve it up, right,
like you don't have enough money, you don't enough time,
you don't have this or that. But I love that
the client, like after she worked with you, started to
(33:37):
probably think differently about what is possible and how much.
Maybe instead of being like no, no, no, being curious like, well.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
How much is that?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Yeah? Maybe I could do that?
Speaker 4 (33:49):
Or what do I have to you know?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
What do I have to sacrifice a little bit things?
And like that's like anything we do that we're planning
for in advance, you just get curious about who's.
Speaker 3 (33:59):
Done this before you can find people.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
You could find oh yeah, much information now without spending
a dime. I think it's just we've never had more
access to information. If we are curious about certain things
that we don't even want to say out loud, yet
we can find out information. And so I love that
that whole shift probably started with wanting to get in
control of her money, and now it's living a life
that is more you know, using her money for those goals,
(34:22):
more than the money the things that she wants to
do in those bigger dreams.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
So I love that.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
I think that's such an important losson for everybody to
kind of think about, is like maybe instead of a
flat no, we can't do these things that other people do, well,
maybe just getting curious instead see when that could happen
if you wanted it. I heard yesterday.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
I was listening to another podcast by Kathy Heller I
think was around her book but anyway, so I won't
take credit for it, but she was talking about the
difference between probability and possibility and like, what are you
looking at it likeab probably maybe that goal might maybe
not going to turn out exactly what it likes. But
when you're looking at it, it's just kind of like
won't won't feel so sad. But when you look at
(35:06):
it from like, okay, but what's you know possible? Well,
anything's possible and it lets us dream a little bigger,
which is exciting because we all deserve to live that
like really fulfilling big life that we want to.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
I agree, Well, thank you so much for joining youde.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
How can people find you or follow you if they
want to learn more about you and your services?
Speaker 4 (35:28):
Yes, so come join me on Instagram. My handle is
at holistic dot personal dot finance. Can also visit me
at my website. It's Holistic Personal dot finance. I got
the dot finance in there, and yeah, those are the
two blessed ways to connect. If you ever have any questions,
I'm always open for dms. It's me answering, so feel
(35:51):
free to DM away and I will personally respond well.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Thank you, thank you so much for joining, and thank
you everyone for listening. If you're thinking about some of
your money mindset and some of some of the work
that we talked about today, if you want to head
over to Missy Lynch dot com you can find a
copy of my book. We have tons of journal prompts
in that book. I think there's probably about ninety different
questions that you could ask yourself. And also you can
catch up on other episodes of the podcast. Thank you
(36:14):
so much for joining, and we'll talk again next week.
Thank you for joining us on another insightful episode of
Demistifying Money. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate,
and leave a review. Stay tuned for more engaging conversations
on our next episode, and remember knowledge is the key
to financial empowerment.
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