October 2, 2023 • 25 mins
In this episode of Community Check-In, Dr. Geoffrey Hopkins, Senior Medical Director of Behavioral Health at Excellus BlueCross BlueShield, addresses the profound impact of the past few years on individuals' mental health. The COVID-19 pandemic brought forth stress, anxiety, social isolation, economic uncertainty and more, leaving many people struggling. Dr. Hopkins engages in a candid conversation about these challenges, emphasizing that no one is alone in their experiences.
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(00:03):
Welcome to excel Us Blue Cross BlueShields Community check In. Each week we
cover a specific topic featuring excel UsBlue Cross Blue Shield experts. You'll get
to know our team as we discussthe latest in healthcare, health education,
and community health. Find us atexcel Us BCBS dot com and follow on
(00:25):
Instagram and Facebook. Hi, I'mJoela Monico and welcome to the Community check
In. We are in the midstof the holiday season, and while it
is a very joyful time filled withfamily moments, it can also be on
the other side of the coin quitea stressful time for people for a variety
of reasons. So today we're goingto talk with doctor Jeffrey Hopkins about how
(00:47):
we can manage the stress that comeswith this time of year. Doctor Hopkins,
Welcome back to the Community check In. It's great to be here.
Doctor Hopkins is a Senior medical directorand behavioral health expert with Blue Excelist,
Blue Cross Blue Shield. He's aBoard certified in Child and Adolescent psychiatry and
adult psychiatry by the American Board ofPsychiatry and Neurology. He's a member of
the Onondaga County Medical Society as well. He previously served as chair of the
(01:11):
Department of Psychiatry for Saint Joseph's HospitalHealth Center in Syracuse, New York.
He maintains a private practice and providesadministrative support and training for staff for nonprofit
integrated Health Systems. Doctor Hopkins,let's start off with this time of year.
As we mentioned in the beginning,it is a joyous time of the
year. It's a time of gettogethers and family and festivities and lights and
(01:34):
all of that, but it isnot without its sources of stress. So
why don't we talk a little bitabout the stress that people might experience this
time of year that may be differentthan the things they might experience at other
times. So when we're trying tothink about the stress of the holiday season,
the stress is something that it's importantfor us to acknowledge and that can
(01:55):
help us to deal with it.When we're thinking about the holiday season and
we have a lot of additional responsibilities, the end goals ideas about how things
can happen. In particular, womenmay juggle more than the typical things during
the holiday season. They have additionalresponsibilities like organizing holiday activities, and there's
(02:15):
the continued in regular demands of professionallife and parenting. According to the American
Psychological Association report, forty four percentof women report and increase in stress during
the holidays versus thirty one of men. We can also impose stress in ourselves
through our sense of obligation and whatwe have planned around the holidays. Just
(02:38):
as a curiosity question, why doyou think that is that women tend to
experience more than men. Do youthink they just take on more through I
mean that's kind of the role inmany households, that they just take on
more and find that maybe others don'tstep up, there's not the right kind
(02:59):
of delegation. Why do you thinkthe numbers are so disproportionate. I think
women still are the traditional organizers ofour household life, and at the same
time, you know, they stillhave to provide the majority of parenting and
they have their own, you know, professional obligations. It's still, even
though our culture is in transition,traditional roles still impose a very high degree
(03:20):
of responsibility and stress on women.So you mentioned about acknowledging that stress,
acknowledging that there are going to bestressors, there's going to be things that
might be different at this time ofyear or heightened at this time of year.
So how might people be experiencing stressat this time of year? Maybe
that we need to acknowledge that couldbe, as we mentioned, different from
other times of the year. Oh, it's important to acknowledge that stress is
(03:42):
deeply personal experience. We all experienceand show it in different ways. Right,
Some of us maybe feel exhausted ordebilitated when we're experiencing stress. Others
might feel energized or full of energy. It's important to wreck nice how you
and others experience stress and how youcan function to support and help each other.
(04:06):
Some examples would be trying to bean active listener to another person's experience,
trying to consider their challenges from theirpoint of view. You can also
try to have an awareness for thevariety of holiday traditions observed in our community
and understand that not everyone celebrates theholiday season. You might even have a
(04:29):
conversation about stress with your family,including your kids if you have them.
Being able to talk about emotions withyour kids and other family members opens up
the dialogue and it strengthens the connectionand helps others learn how the best support
you and vice versa. You mighteven ask yourself a few questions like how
do you experience stress? Do youhave body sensations like stomach aches or headaches
(04:54):
or muscle tension, or do youhave strong emotions like feeling tense or overwhelmed.
Sometimes might even have stressful thoughts likeI have to or I should.
Practicing this and being able to evenshare it with our children is a great
way for them to learn about themselvestoo. And of course this moves into
talking about the way that these stressorsmight exhibit themselves or present themselves. I
(05:16):
want to talk a little bit moreabout how people can then start to approach
these stresses at different times. Youmentioned it's very personal. Everyone could experience
things in a different way, butthere are ways that we can, maybe
in general or for many of us, take some cues off of how to
keep the stress levels as low aswe possibly can during a time when certainly
(05:39):
they're going to creep in. Certainly, and one way is to set realistic
expectations for ourselves and others. Thismay mean being able to settle with things
that work as opposed to our ownself imposed vision of perfection. Also taking
time to plan ahead. It'll helpyou manage the stress of the holiday season
by giving you enough time to takeof what's necessary. You could try to
(06:00):
consider about when it's okay to sayno. It is okay to say no
sometimes being able to set some boundariesand saying no to holiday demands and social
obligations. You know, just beinghonest and letting somebody know that you just
have too much going on, oryou really need a night in, or
you just need a night with yourfamily, that's okay to do. Being
able to ask for help. Whenwe ask for help from those around us,
(06:27):
we can help to lighten our ownburden and make other people feel included.
It does make other people feel goodto help each other, even us.
It might be something big like askingsomebody else to host, or might
be something small like asking your partnerto help take care of an errand.
Another thing you can do to tryto help maintain your ability to withstand the
stress is keeping up with your healthyhabits. This is really important through the
(06:50):
holiday season. You could try tomaintain a regular sleep schedule. You can
avoid the excessive use of alcohol andkeep exercising. You can have holiday suites
and treats and they can be enjoyedin moderation and maintain a healthy foundation of
food choices. A real simple thingthat you can do is just stepping back
(07:12):
from the business and the activity.If you can outside, take walk or
pause and read a book or listento some soothing music if you only have
a moment, even just going intoanother room away from everybody and taking a
few slow, deep breaths can helpreduce that stress. Doctor Jeffrey Hopkins is
our guest on the Community check inthis week. He's a senior medical director
(07:32):
or behavioral health that excels Blue Cross, Blue Shield. We're talking about holiday
stress levels and how to help youbest prepare yourself. Doctor, there is
so much to unpack in that lastbit of how we can approach stress.
How much of the holiday season wouldyou guess, And of course it's going
to be different for everyone. Itseems that when I look at this list,
(07:54):
a lot of the stresses can beself imposed. That we'll do it
to ourselves or we'll eile up toeleven some of the stressors that are already
present because we feel like, asyou mentioned earlier, we have to do
the holiday the way we've always donetraditionally. We should be visiting all of
our relatives and seeing people and invitingpeople, and is a lot of what
(08:16):
we do kind of brought upon ourselves. Not not to say that it's a
bad thing, but it's just kindof there that way. We have these
really strong self and bothed visions,and you know, if we look outside
to our you know, advertisements andour special holiday movies, it shows things
being incredibly vibrant, and in factthat may be something more that's advertised.
(08:39):
It's a it's an image and weactually have to live our lives through the
holiday season. Yeah, you know, a lot of a lot of times
we have these like really intense feelingsthat we need to buy a lot of
stuff for other people, or thatwe have to have humongous parties and get
togethers. And while those are that'swonderful, I can happen. There's nothing
wrong if it's a little bit morecontained. Yeah, you mentioned there,
(09:01):
it's the okay to say no.That's something that we've talked about before in
other contexts, But in the holidayseason, I think many people do feel
that the know is something that theyshouldn't do because it's not in the spirit
of the season. But really itis a gift that you can give to
yourself sometimes to just step back alittle bit when you are starting to feel
(09:22):
overwhelmed. And certainly it's going tobe an understandable thing, and I would
suspect others are going to want tomaybe take a queue off your lead and
maybe say no once or twice themselves. Right, you don't have to feel
guilty for taking a step back orfor acknowledging that you have stress and being
able to admit the fact that theholiday season can be stressful. It's okay.
(09:43):
It doesn't mean that you don't enjoyit, or you're not looking forward
to it, or the traditions aren'timportant to you. And you also mentioned
keeping up with routines, sleep habits, eating habits, exercise habits very important
to keep up through the holidays.When we contend to say I'll get back
to that once New Year's is done, but we can often get ourselves kind
(10:05):
of out of kilter in December,and sometimes it can take a little bit
of effort and maybe even more effortas we get older to get back on
those tracks. It's true, andit's even important for kids to stay up
with their routines. If we thinkabout maintaining our own routine, and then
also having kids maintain their routine,having healthy sleep schedules, trying to understand
(10:28):
that kids themselves can have stress duringthe holidays. They're anticipating the holiday season.
School goes right up until the holidaystarts, and then oftentimes, you
know, there's an excitement to doa lot of screen time by kids.
And if we can help maintain routines, acknowledge the child's stress, and do
(10:48):
things that aren't related to screen time, it can help have kids maintain a
positive mood as we maintain our ownpositive habits during the holiday season. Remember
your mind full eating everyone, becausethis is a time when there's a lot
of things thrown in your face andat arms at arms length, and that
can also be You might feel goodin the moment, but it can add
(11:11):
to stresses down the road. Sodoctor, let's talk about advice for helping
people who might really feel guilty abouttheir holiday stress. They're not finding ways
or don't have the mechanisms to dealwith it in an appropriate and healthy way.
Oh, I do think that peoplefeel guilt and also have difficulty with
the holiday stress, and I thinkthere's a few things that you can do
(11:35):
to manage that stress. One ofthe things is to acknowledge that there's a
lot of material drive to get presentsfor each other, to bring presents,
But if you really think about yourown personal history and what are some of
the most vibrant and powerfully good memories, it's about what you actually did with
your loved ones as opposed to whatthey gave you. And being able to
(11:58):
create those strong memories. It helpsto enrich the holiday experience and it can
move the focus away from material stuff. For a lot of us, we'll
do holiday traditions right. Starting ormaintaining holiday traditions helps to maintain our family
bonds, makes our holidays meaningful,and it can reduce our stress. For
(12:20):
myself, making sugar cookies and decoratingthem with the family, it's something that
we've been doing for generations. That'sone of the things that I notice more
the older I get. I canthink back to Christmases of my youth and
past, and I don't remember asingle thing I got, but I remember
those things we did together when itwas a large family dinner and we gathered
(12:45):
around a grandmother's table for hours,talking and eating and laughing with each other,
Or what my wife and I doright now. On Christmas, we
get up in the morning, wego out and take a nice walk in
the woods, listen to the wildlifeand see the birds. It's quiet and
we enjoy that quiet. And asyou mentioned that there's a lot of pressure
and focus sometimes on material things asopposed to say, experiences, and the
(13:05):
material things can often add to financialstress. Financial stress is big around the
holidays. Let's talk a bit aboutthose people that might be trying to balance
the gift giving and the stress ofthe debt they may incur because of those
expectations or those wants to do duringthe holidays. Being able to focus on
(13:26):
experiences versus material objects, right,it helps to shift that emphasis away from
material objects. And for a lotof people in their families, setting the
stage for reduced financial expenditure and reducedmaterialism during the holiday season can really help
(13:48):
to reduce the stress. The commonadage that we hear that some families do
is that you have a modest numberof gifts. You have something to wear,
something to read, something you want, and then something you need,
and then that's enough, And thatreally can make a big difference. I'm
going to remember that, and it'sa wonderful sort of a rhyme to have
(14:09):
in your head. But yeah,that's a good way to help us pare
down because, as we mentioned earlierin the show, sometimes we think that
the holidays have to be large andgrand, but they can be more meaningful
and maybe that's what we're really goingfor overall, is to simplify. And
if we think about, like outsideof our family, and we think about
(14:31):
the richness of our community and hownice it can feel to us and be
meaningful if we engage in a charitydrive or go to a community holiday event
or volunteer. These things that wecan do that don't cost anything but occur
outside of the family can really helpto enrich us and reduce our stress and
(14:54):
shift us away from the financial burdenthat we might experience during the holiday.
See. Now, let's talk aboutthe young ones and how they are impacted
by this time of year and whatis often an incredibly packed social schedule that
they have no control over. Sometimes, I mean, what can parents caregivers
do to support these little ones?I do think understanding that socialization is fun,
(15:18):
but it also is a stressor formost of us. Being able to
take a look at your own individualyoung ones and figuring out how extroverted or
introverted they are, and being ableto balance what they need in terms of
being able to socialize with family,going on trips, talking to neighbors and
friends, and also being able tohave quiet time, if that's something that's
(15:39):
benefit you to that individual, beingable to support them, being able to
actually support them, and being ableto say no sometimes or even yourself setting
a limit with excess of socialization reallyhelps. And sometimes you're right, they
can be put into positions that arestressful on them in ways that adults don't
quite realize because they may be focusedon how are they moving through their own
(16:03):
holiday, how are they fulfilling obligationsthat they feel they have, and then
the young ones are kind of broughtalong for the ride, and sometimes it's
not thinking about it until after thefact, like what what's happened to them
and what may how can we helpjust elevate their experience and keep them stress
(16:25):
free while we're trying to maybe takeon more stress than we normally do during
holidays. I think it's important thatwe try to control our own reaction distress.
No. We talked about those selfcare tips earlier and being able to
control our own reaction distress so thatour children and our young ones don't have
to mirror our own stress to showtheir alliance with us. That's one way
(16:45):
being able to talk openly with them, like how are you doing? Are
you feeling tired? Is it timeto go home? Or are you excited?
Being able to have young ones,even if you're in a social situation,
have a quiet place to go torelax if that's what they need,
or have some way to distress,or just not necessarily have to be socially
on all the time. There aresome basic things that we can do to
(17:07):
help our children when we're out socializingwith them. I want to talk about
a subject that impacts many families,doctor Hopkins, and that's about how future
holidays are experienced when a family hasexperienced the loss of a loved one,
either during the holiday season in aprevious year, or maybe even during the
calendar year leading up to that time, and this would be the first major
(17:33):
holiday where that family members not thereanymore. Let's unpack that a little bit
about what families can do to notonly cope with that that they are working
with, but also maybe what itfeels like to have conversations about it with
the family unit, just the smallfamily unit, about how everyone is feeling
and how they're going to celebrate thatloved one who's not here. I think
(17:56):
it's important, given our context,talk about those that we've lost and celebrating
their lives and sharing memories and acknowledgingthe important, positive impact that they've had
in our life. It's healthy andbeing able to voice the impact losses had
on you. It can be arelief, especially when it removes that taboo
(18:18):
of talking about loss and death.Having these types of conversations can help improve
our connection right to family and friends, and it can also help to elevate
our mood even though we're talking aboutsomething sad. It's also important to know
that not all loss happens when somebodydies. For instance, you know,
sometimes people move away, children canexperience divorce. Some people never even had
(18:41):
the kinds of relationships that we're hopingfor with important people. All of these
things can be magnified during the holidayseason with our importance and the focus on
family time. Just like the lossof having the death of a loved one,
talking about these things can be helpful. More community check in on Managing
(19:02):
holiday stress with doctor Jeffrey Hopkins upnext. Everyone deserves to be cared for
and to live well, and atExcelis Blue Cross Blue Shield, that's why
we're here. Through affordable plan options, community investments, partnerships and education,
we're working to address iniquities that madecare feel out of reach for too many
people for far too long. Becausewhen we build up communities and break down
(19:27):
health barriers, everybody benefits. Learnmore at Excelis BCBS dot com. Welcome
back to the community. Check in. Doctor Jeffrey Hopkins is our guest this
week. Needs to see your medicaldirector Behavioral Health with Excelis Blue Cross Blue
Shield. We're talking about holiday stressin this week's episode and ways that you
can help not only to acknowledge yourstress, understand it, but also to
(19:51):
find ways of reducing those stress levels, find ways of making meaningful connections not
only within your family community, butwithin the greater community. I think it's
important for the larger community to understandand be aware that not everyone celebrates the
holiday or a holiday the same way. Not everyone has their stress front and
(20:15):
center and easily known. You don'treally know, right doctor, the struggle
that someone else might be going throughand it's important to know that even as
individuals get through the holiday stress,somebody might get through it and look totally
fine, and then they can experiencepost holiday blues which some people then after
(20:36):
the excitement is over, they canfeel tired or irritable, even sad,
and they might be confused about what'sgoing on. For most of us,
this goes away in a few days. If it sticks around for more than
two weeks, it's important that youtalk to your healthcare professional. I think
that don't be afraid and don't behard on yourself if you do have this
(20:56):
kind of post holiday syndrome as theycall it, and to know that it's
normal, it's nothing being worried about, absolutely, and to know that you're
working with the few things, andsome of them are environmental that you really
can't control. We don't have awhole lot of sunlight at this time of
year. We're still working towards theLongest Night, as they call it,
(21:18):
in the first day of winter,where we really do have a lot of
darkness out there, and that canreally be something that puts us at a
disadvantage. The holidays are filled withcheer and light and sound, and laughter,
But that can often be isolating.Would you agree that for some people
it can put them in a placethat makes them feel that they're not connected
though there are so many connections goingon around them. It's true, and
(21:42):
one of the great ways to starta conversation with somebody else is even just
to say, hey, lots ofpeople get stressed out during the holidays,
how are you doing? Also,if it goes beyond that, for yourself,
make sure to talk to your primarycare doctor. And if you are
an Excelist Blue Cross Blue Shield member, you might have access to the call
(22:03):
map and that can help to managestress and promote wellness. You can find
out if you access your Excels BlueCrossBlue Shield account and log in, you
can see if you have access tothat application. And if you go to
the Excels Blue Cross Blue Shield dotCom web page and you can go to
under the health and Wellness tab,there's a lot of tips and activities that
(22:26):
you can do that we've referenced thatcan help you get through the holiday stressful
time. And that site is excelsBCBS dot com. It is available to
members and community members, not necessarilyjust those that are members and have Blue
Cross Blue Shield Excels BlueCross Blue Shieldas their primary provider. There's a lot
(22:47):
of resources available to the community.As we wrap up our discussion, doctor
Hopkins talk a little bit more aboutthose resources that are available, not just
through Excelist Blue Cross Blue Shield,but really there are resources that are really
they're in our families, they're inour neighborhoods, they're in our entire community.
I'd like you to everybody to rememberthat talking with other people that you're
close to is a great place tostart again talking with your primary care provider.
(23:11):
If you feel overwhelmed, if youare in a crisis, you can
always dial nine to eighty eight.It's the Active Crisis Mental Health Crisis Line
in New York State. Or ifyou just aren't sure what kind of resources
are out there, you can alwaysdial two one one and get connected to
a community support person that can helpdirect you to supports that you might need
(23:33):
outside of Blue Cross Blue Shield.We have been spending time on this pre
holiday edition of the Community Check Intalking with doctor Jeffrey Hopkins, who's a
senior medical director of Behavioral health thatExcels Blue Cross Blue Shield. In our
final moments, doctor Hopkins, youmentioned sugar cookies frosted or unfrosted sprinkles and
if so, what variety? Definitelyfrosted with red and green sprinkles Red and
(23:59):
green as opposed to the rainbow.There are some who think the rainbow taste
better. That's that's that's how wealways did it in little sheets too.
And and if you if you makesnowmen, do you go for the head
first when you eat them? Always? Because again, the head also tastes
better. We definitely want to thankdoctor Jeffrey Hopkins for a little laugh there
(24:22):
at the end of our program.We've been talking about ways to help you
manage the holidays and keep your stresslevels low. To your family, Doctor
Hopkins, have a very happy holiday, sir, into you Joe. Thanks
for joining us on Community check In, a presentation of excel Us Blue Cross
Blue Shield at iHeartRadio. Podcasts ofCommunity check In are available on the iHeartRadio
(24:45):
app or wherever you find your favoriteaudio content. For more ways to stay
safe, healthy, and educated,visit excel Us BCBS dot com and follow
on Instagram and Facebook.
Welcome to excel Us Blue Cross BlueShields Community check In. Each week we
cover a specific topic featuring excel UsBlue Cross Blue Shield experts. You'll get
to know our team as we discussthe latest in healthcare, health education,
and community health. Find us atexcel Us BCBS dot com and follow on
(00:25):
Instagram and Facebook. Hi, I'mJoela Monico and welcome to the Community check
In. We are in the midstof the holiday season, and while it
is a very joyful time filled withfamily moments, it can also be on
the other side of the coin quitea stressful time for people for a variety
of reasons. So today we're goingto talk with doctor Jeffrey Hopkins about how
(00:47):
we can manage the stress that comeswith this time of year. Doctor Hopkins,
Welcome back to the Community check In. It's great to be here.
Doctor Hopkins is a Senior medical directorand behavioral health expert with Blue Excelist,
Blue Cross Blue Shield. He's aBoard certified in Child and Adolescent psychiatry and
adult psychiatry by the American Board ofPsychiatry and Neurology. He's a member of
the Onondaga County Medical Society as well. He previously served as chair of the
(01:11):
Department of Psychiatry for Saint Joseph's HospitalHealth Center in Syracuse, New York.
He maintains a private practice and providesadministrative support and training for staff for nonprofit
integrated Health Systems. Doctor Hopkins,let's start off with this time of year.
As we mentioned in the beginning,it is a joyous time of the
year. It's a time of gettogethers and family and festivities and lights and
(01:34):
all of that, but it isnot without its sources of stress. So
why don't we talk a little bitabout the stress that people might experience this
time of year that may be differentthan the things they might experience at other
times. So when we're trying tothink about the stress of the holiday season,
the stress is something that it's importantfor us to acknowledge and that can
(01:55):
help us to deal with it.When we're thinking about the holiday season and
we have a lot of additional responsibilities, the end goals ideas about how things
can happen. In particular, womenmay juggle more than the typical things during
the holiday season. They have additionalresponsibilities like organizing holiday activities, and there's
(02:15):
the continued in regular demands of professionallife and parenting. According to the American
Psychological Association report, forty four percentof women report and increase in stress during
the holidays versus thirty one of men. We can also impose stress in ourselves
through our sense of obligation and whatwe have planned around the holidays. Just
(02:38):
as a curiosity question, why doyou think that is that women tend to
experience more than men. Do youthink they just take on more through I
mean that's kind of the role inmany households, that they just take on
more and find that maybe others don'tstep up, there's not the right kind
(02:59):
of delegation. Why do you thinkthe numbers are so disproportionate. I think
women still are the traditional organizers ofour household life, and at the same
time, you know, they stillhave to provide the majority of parenting and
they have their own, you know, professional obligations. It's still, even
though our culture is in transition,traditional roles still impose a very high degree
(03:20):
of responsibility and stress on women.So you mentioned about acknowledging that stress,
acknowledging that there are going to bestressors, there's going to be things that
might be different at this time ofyear or heightened at this time of year.
So how might people be experiencing stressat this time of year? Maybe
that we need to acknowledge that couldbe, as we mentioned, different from
other times of the year. Oh, it's important to acknowledge that stress is
(03:42):
deeply personal experience. We all experienceand show it in different ways. Right,
Some of us maybe feel exhausted ordebilitated when we're experiencing stress. Others
might feel energized or full of energy. It's important to wreck nice how you
and others experience stress and how youcan function to support and help each other.
(04:06):
Some examples would be trying to bean active listener to another person's experience,
trying to consider their challenges from theirpoint of view. You can also
try to have an awareness for thevariety of holiday traditions observed in our community
and understand that not everyone celebrates theholiday season. You might even have a
(04:29):
conversation about stress with your family,including your kids if you have them.
Being able to talk about emotions withyour kids and other family members opens up
the dialogue and it strengthens the connectionand helps others learn how the best support
you and vice versa. You mighteven ask yourself a few questions like how
do you experience stress? Do youhave body sensations like stomach aches or headaches
(04:54):
or muscle tension, or do youhave strong emotions like feeling tense or overwhelmed.
Sometimes might even have stressful thoughts likeI have to or I should.
Practicing this and being able to evenshare it with our children is a great
way for them to learn about themselvestoo. And of course this moves into
talking about the way that these stressorsmight exhibit themselves or present themselves. I
(05:16):
want to talk a little bit moreabout how people can then start to approach
these stresses at different times. Youmentioned it's very personal. Everyone could experience
things in a different way, butthere are ways that we can, maybe
in general or for many of us, take some cues off of how to
keep the stress levels as low aswe possibly can during a time when certainly
(05:39):
they're going to creep in. Certainly, and one way is to set realistic
expectations for ourselves and others. Thismay mean being able to settle with things
that work as opposed to our ownself imposed vision of perfection. Also taking
time to plan ahead. It'll helpyou manage the stress of the holiday season
by giving you enough time to takeof what's necessary. You could try to
(06:00):
consider about when it's okay to sayno. It is okay to say no
sometimes being able to set some boundariesand saying no to holiday demands and social
obligations. You know, just beinghonest and letting somebody know that you just
have too much going on, oryou really need a night in, or
you just need a night with yourfamily, that's okay to do. Being
able to ask for help. Whenwe ask for help from those around us,
(06:27):
we can help to lighten our ownburden and make other people feel included.
It does make other people feel goodto help each other, even us.
It might be something big like askingsomebody else to host, or might
be something small like asking your partnerto help take care of an errand.
Another thing you can do to tryto help maintain your ability to withstand the
stress is keeping up with your healthyhabits. This is really important through the
(06:50):
holiday season. You could try tomaintain a regular sleep schedule. You can
avoid the excessive use of alcohol andkeep exercising. You can have holiday suites
and treats and they can be enjoyedin moderation and maintain a healthy foundation of
food choices. A real simple thingthat you can do is just stepping back
(07:12):
from the business and the activity.If you can outside, take walk or
pause and read a book or listento some soothing music if you only have
a moment, even just going intoanother room away from everybody and taking a
few slow, deep breaths can helpreduce that stress. Doctor Jeffrey Hopkins is
our guest on the Community check inthis week. He's a senior medical director
(07:32):
or behavioral health that excels Blue Cross, Blue Shield. We're talking about holiday
stress levels and how to help youbest prepare yourself. Doctor, there is
so much to unpack in that lastbit of how we can approach stress.
How much of the holiday season wouldyou guess, And of course it's going
to be different for everyone. Itseems that when I look at this list,
(07:54):
a lot of the stresses can beself imposed. That we'll do it
to ourselves or we'll eile up toeleven some of the stressors that are already
present because we feel like, asyou mentioned earlier, we have to do
the holiday the way we've always donetraditionally. We should be visiting all of
our relatives and seeing people and invitingpeople, and is a lot of what
(08:16):
we do kind of brought upon ourselves. Not not to say that it's a
bad thing, but it's just kindof there that way. We have these
really strong self and bothed visions,and you know, if we look outside
to our you know, advertisements andour special holiday movies, it shows things
being incredibly vibrant, and in factthat may be something more that's advertised.
(08:39):
It's a it's an image and weactually have to live our lives through the
holiday season. Yeah, you know, a lot of a lot of times
we have these like really intense feelingsthat we need to buy a lot of
stuff for other people, or thatwe have to have humongous parties and get
togethers. And while those are that'swonderful, I can happen. There's nothing
wrong if it's a little bit morecontained. Yeah, you mentioned there,
(09:01):
it's the okay to say no.That's something that we've talked about before in
other contexts, But in the holidayseason, I think many people do feel
that the know is something that theyshouldn't do because it's not in the spirit
of the season. But really itis a gift that you can give to
yourself sometimes to just step back alittle bit when you are starting to feel
(09:22):
overwhelmed. And certainly it's going tobe an understandable thing, and I would
suspect others are going to want tomaybe take a queue off your lead and
maybe say no once or twice themselves. Right, you don't have to feel
guilty for taking a step back orfor acknowledging that you have stress and being
able to admit the fact that theholiday season can be stressful. It's okay.
(09:43):
It doesn't mean that you don't enjoyit, or you're not looking forward
to it, or the traditions aren'timportant to you. And you also mentioned
keeping up with routines, sleep habits, eating habits, exercise habits very important
to keep up through the holidays.When we contend to say I'll get back
to that once New Year's is done, but we can often get ourselves kind
(10:05):
of out of kilter in December,and sometimes it can take a little bit
of effort and maybe even more effortas we get older to get back on
those tracks. It's true, andit's even important for kids to stay up
with their routines. If we thinkabout maintaining our own routine, and then
also having kids maintain their routine,having healthy sleep schedules, trying to understand
(10:28):
that kids themselves can have stress duringthe holidays. They're anticipating the holiday season.
School goes right up until the holidaystarts, and then oftentimes, you
know, there's an excitement to doa lot of screen time by kids.
And if we can help maintain routines, acknowledge the child's stress, and do
(10:48):
things that aren't related to screen time, it can help have kids maintain a
positive mood as we maintain our ownpositive habits during the holiday season. Remember
your mind full eating everyone, becausethis is a time when there's a lot
of things thrown in your face andat arms at arms length, and that
can also be You might feel goodin the moment, but it can add
(11:11):
to stresses down the road. Sodoctor, let's talk about advice for helping
people who might really feel guilty abouttheir holiday stress. They're not finding ways
or don't have the mechanisms to dealwith it in an appropriate and healthy way.
Oh, I do think that peoplefeel guilt and also have difficulty with
the holiday stress, and I thinkthere's a few things that you can do
(11:35):
to manage that stress. One ofthe things is to acknowledge that there's a
lot of material drive to get presentsfor each other, to bring presents,
But if you really think about yourown personal history and what are some of
the most vibrant and powerfully good memories, it's about what you actually did with
your loved ones as opposed to whatthey gave you. And being able to
(11:58):
create those strong memories. It helpsto enrich the holiday experience and it can
move the focus away from material stuff. For a lot of us, we'll
do holiday traditions right. Starting ormaintaining holiday traditions helps to maintain our family
bonds, makes our holidays meaningful,and it can reduce our stress. For
(12:20):
myself, making sugar cookies and decoratingthem with the family, it's something that
we've been doing for generations. That'sone of the things that I notice more
the older I get. I canthink back to Christmases of my youth and
past, and I don't remember asingle thing I got, but I remember
those things we did together when itwas a large family dinner and we gathered
(12:45):
around a grandmother's table for hours,talking and eating and laughing with each other,
Or what my wife and I doright now. On Christmas, we
get up in the morning, wego out and take a nice walk in
the woods, listen to the wildlifeand see the birds. It's quiet and
we enjoy that quiet. And asyou mentioned that there's a lot of pressure
and focus sometimes on material things asopposed to say, experiences, and the
(13:05):
material things can often add to financialstress. Financial stress is big around the
holidays. Let's talk a bit aboutthose people that might be trying to balance
the gift giving and the stress ofthe debt they may incur because of those
expectations or those wants to do duringthe holidays. Being able to focus on
(13:26):
experiences versus material objects, right,it helps to shift that emphasis away from
material objects. And for a lotof people in their families, setting the
stage for reduced financial expenditure and reducedmaterialism during the holiday season can really help
(13:48):
to reduce the stress. The commonadage that we hear that some families do
is that you have a modest numberof gifts. You have something to wear,
something to read, something you want, and then something you need,
and then that's enough, And thatreally can make a big difference. I'm
going to remember that, and it'sa wonderful sort of a rhyme to have
(14:09):
in your head. But yeah,that's a good way to help us pare
down because, as we mentioned earlierin the show, sometimes we think that
the holidays have to be large andgrand, but they can be more meaningful
and maybe that's what we're really goingfor overall, is to simplify. And
if we think about, like outsideof our family, and we think about
(14:31):
the richness of our community and hownice it can feel to us and be
meaningful if we engage in a charitydrive or go to a community holiday event
or volunteer. These things that wecan do that don't cost anything but occur
outside of the family can really helpto enrich us and reduce our stress and
(14:54):
shift us away from the financial burdenthat we might experience during the holiday.
See. Now, let's talk aboutthe young ones and how they are impacted
by this time of year and whatis often an incredibly packed social schedule that
they have no control over. Sometimes, I mean, what can parents caregivers
do to support these little ones?I do think understanding that socialization is fun,
(15:18):
but it also is a stressor formost of us. Being able to
take a look at your own individualyoung ones and figuring out how extroverted or
introverted they are, and being ableto balance what they need in terms of
being able to socialize with family,going on trips, talking to neighbors and
friends, and also being able tohave quiet time, if that's something that's
(15:39):
benefit you to that individual, beingable to support them, being able to
actually support them, and being ableto say no sometimes or even yourself setting
a limit with excess of socialization reallyhelps. And sometimes you're right, they
can be put into positions that arestressful on them in ways that adults don't
quite realize because they may be focusedon how are they moving through their own
(16:03):
holiday, how are they fulfilling obligationsthat they feel they have, and then
the young ones are kind of broughtalong for the ride, and sometimes it's
not thinking about it until after thefact, like what what's happened to them
and what may how can we helpjust elevate their experience and keep them stress
(16:25):
free while we're trying to maybe takeon more stress than we normally do during
holidays. I think it's important thatwe try to control our own reaction distress.
No. We talked about those selfcare tips earlier and being able to
control our own reaction distress so thatour children and our young ones don't have
to mirror our own stress to showtheir alliance with us. That's one way
(16:45):
being able to talk openly with them, like how are you doing? Are
you feeling tired? Is it timeto go home? Or are you excited?
Being able to have young ones,even if you're in a social situation,
have a quiet place to go torelax if that's what they need,
or have some way to distress,or just not necessarily have to be socially
on all the time. There aresome basic things that we can do to
(17:07):
help our children when we're out socializingwith them. I want to talk about
a subject that impacts many families,doctor Hopkins, and that's about how future
holidays are experienced when a family hasexperienced the loss of a loved one,
either during the holiday season in aprevious year, or maybe even during the
calendar year leading up to that time, and this would be the first major
(17:33):
holiday where that family members not thereanymore. Let's unpack that a little bit
about what families can do to notonly cope with that that they are working
with, but also maybe what itfeels like to have conversations about it with
the family unit, just the smallfamily unit, about how everyone is feeling
and how they're going to celebrate thatloved one who's not here. I think
(17:56):
it's important, given our context,talk about those that we've lost and celebrating
their lives and sharing memories and acknowledgingthe important, positive impact that they've had
in our life. It's healthy andbeing able to voice the impact losses had
on you. It can be arelief, especially when it removes that taboo
(18:18):
of talking about loss and death.Having these types of conversations can help improve
our connection right to family and friends, and it can also help to elevate
our mood even though we're talking aboutsomething sad. It's also important to know
that not all loss happens when somebodydies. For instance, you know,
sometimes people move away, children canexperience divorce. Some people never even had
(18:41):
the kinds of relationships that we're hopingfor with important people. All of these
things can be magnified during the holidayseason with our importance and the focus on
family time. Just like the lossof having the death of a loved one,
talking about these things can be helpful. More community check in on Managing
(19:02):
holiday stress with doctor Jeffrey Hopkins upnext. Everyone deserves to be cared for
and to live well, and atExcelis Blue Cross Blue Shield, that's why
we're here. Through affordable plan options, community investments, partnerships and education,
we're working to address iniquities that madecare feel out of reach for too many
people for far too long. Becausewhen we build up communities and break down
(19:27):
health barriers, everybody benefits. Learnmore at Excelis BCBS dot com. Welcome
back to the community. Check in. Doctor Jeffrey Hopkins is our guest this
week. Needs to see your medicaldirector Behavioral Health with Excelis Blue Cross Blue
Shield. We're talking about holiday stressin this week's episode and ways that you
can help not only to acknowledge yourstress, understand it, but also to
(19:51):
find ways of reducing those stress levels, find ways of making meaningful connections not
only within your family community, butwithin the greater community. I think it's
important for the larger community to understandand be aware that not everyone celebrates the
holiday or a holiday the same way. Not everyone has their stress front and
(20:15):
center and easily known. You don'treally know, right doctor, the struggle
that someone else might be going throughand it's important to know that even as
individuals get through the holiday stress,somebody might get through it and look totally
fine, and then they can experiencepost holiday blues which some people then after
(20:36):
the excitement is over, they canfeel tired or irritable, even sad,
and they might be confused about what'sgoing on. For most of us,
this goes away in a few days. If it sticks around for more than
two weeks, it's important that youtalk to your healthcare professional. I think
that don't be afraid and don't behard on yourself if you do have this
(20:56):
kind of post holiday syndrome as theycall it, and to know that it's
normal, it's nothing being worried about, absolutely, and to know that you're
working with the few things, andsome of them are environmental that you really
can't control. We don't have awhole lot of sunlight at this time of
year. We're still working towards theLongest Night, as they call it,
(21:18):
in the first day of winter,where we really do have a lot of
darkness out there, and that canreally be something that puts us at a
disadvantage. The holidays are filled withcheer and light and sound, and laughter,
But that can often be isolating.Would you agree that for some people
it can put them in a placethat makes them feel that they're not connected
though there are so many connections goingon around them. It's true, and
(21:42):
one of the great ways to starta conversation with somebody else is even just
to say, hey, lots ofpeople get stressed out during the holidays,
how are you doing? Also,if it goes beyond that, for yourself,
make sure to talk to your primarycare doctor. And if you are
an Excelist Blue Cross Blue Shield member, you might have access to the call
(22:03):
map and that can help to managestress and promote wellness. You can find
out if you access your Excels BlueCrossBlue Shield account and log in, you
can see if you have access tothat application. And if you go to
the Excels Blue Cross Blue Shield dotCom web page and you can go to
under the health and Wellness tab,there's a lot of tips and activities that
(22:26):
you can do that we've referenced thatcan help you get through the holiday stressful
time. And that site is excelsBCBS dot com. It is available to
members and community members, not necessarilyjust those that are members and have Blue
Cross Blue Shield Excels BlueCross Blue Shieldas their primary provider. There's a lot
(22:47):
of resources available to the community.As we wrap up our discussion, doctor
Hopkins talk a little bit more aboutthose resources that are available, not just
through Excelist Blue Cross Blue Shield,but really there are resources that are really
they're in our families, they're inour neighborhoods, they're in our entire community.
I'd like you to everybody to rememberthat talking with other people that you're
close to is a great place tostart again talking with your primary care provider.
(23:11):
If you feel overwhelmed, if youare in a crisis, you can
always dial nine to eighty eight.It's the Active Crisis Mental Health Crisis Line
in New York State. Or ifyou just aren't sure what kind of resources
are out there, you can alwaysdial two one one and get connected to
a community support person that can helpdirect you to supports that you might need
(23:33):
outside of Blue Cross Blue Shield.We have been spending time on this pre
holiday edition of the Community Check Intalking with doctor Jeffrey Hopkins, who's a
senior medical director of Behavioral health thatExcels Blue Cross Blue Shield. In our
final moments, doctor Hopkins, youmentioned sugar cookies frosted or unfrosted sprinkles and
if so, what variety? Definitelyfrosted with red and green sprinkles Red and
(23:59):
green as opposed to the rainbow.There are some who think the rainbow taste
better. That's that's that's how wealways did it in little sheets too.
And and if you if you makesnowmen, do you go for the head
first when you eat them? Always? Because again, the head also tastes
better. We definitely want to thankdoctor Jeffrey Hopkins for a little laugh there
(24:22):
at the end of our program.We've been talking about ways to help you
manage the holidays and keep your stresslevels low. To your family, Doctor
Hopkins, have a very happy holiday, sir, into you Joe. Thanks
for joining us on Community check In, a presentation of excel Us Blue Cross
Blue Shield at iHeartRadio. Podcasts ofCommunity check In are available on the iHeartRadio
(24:45):
app or wherever you find your favoriteaudio content. For more ways to stay
safe, healthy, and educated,visit excel Us BCBS dot com and follow
on Instagram and Facebook.
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