The Loneliness Epidemic: Unveiling the Health Implications of Social Isolation

In part 1 of this two-part series on loneliness, Dr. Geoffrey Hopkins, Senior Medical Director of Behavioral Health at Excellus BlueCross BlueShield explores the concept of loneliness and its impact on an individuals' overall wellness. He discusses the factors that disrupt social connections and addresses how to prevent its negative impacts on health and wellbeing

Episode Transcript

(00:03):
Welcome to excel Us Blue Cross BlueShields Community check In. Each week we
cover a specific topic featuring excel UsBlue Cross Blue Shield experts. You'll get
to know our team as we discussthe latest in healthcare, health education,
and community health. Find us atexcel USBCBS dot com and follow on Instagram

(00:26):
and Facebook. Hi, I'm Joelamonicoand welcome to the Community check In.
We are in the midst of theholiday season, and while it is a
very joyful time filled with family moments, it can also be on the other
side of the coin quite a stressfultime for people for a variety of reasons.
So today we're going to talk withdoctor Jeffrey Hopkins about how we can

(00:48):
manage the stress that comes with thistime of year. Doctor Hopkins, Welcome
back to the Community check In.Oh, it's great to be here.
Doctor Hopkins is a Senior medical directorand behavioral health expert with excell Us Blue
Cross Blue Shield. He's a Boardcertified in Child and Adolescent psychiatry and adult
psychiatry by the American Board of Psychiatryand Neurology. He's a member of the
Onondaga County Medical Society as well.He previously served as chair of the Department

(01:11):
of Psychiatry for Saint Joseph's Hospital HealthCenter in Syracuse, New York. He
maintains a private practice and provides administrativesupport and training for staff for nonprofit integrated
Health Systems. Doctor Hopkins, let'sstart off with this time of year.
As we mentioned in the beginning,it is a joyous time of the year.
It's a time of get togethers andfamily and festivities and lights and all

(01:34):
of that, but it is notwithout its sources of stress. So why
don't we talk a little bit aboutthe stress that people might experience this time
of year that may be different thanthe things they might experience at other times.
So when we're trying to think aboutthe stress of the holiday season,
the stress is something that it's importantfor us to acknowledge and that can help

(01:56):
us to deal with it. Whenwe're thinking about the holiday season, and
we have a lot of additional responsibilitiesand goals ideas about how things can happen.
In particular, women may juggle morethan the typical things during the holiday
season. They have additional responsibilities likeorganizing holiday activities, and there's the continued

(02:16):
and regular demands of professional life andparenting. According to the American Psychological Association
report, forty four percent of womenreport an increase in stress during the holidays
versus thirty one percent of men.We can also impose stress in ourselves to
our sense of obligation and what wehave planned around the holidays. Just as

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a curiosity question, why do youthink that is that women tend to experience
more than men. Do you thinkthey just take on more through I mean
that's kind of the role in manyhouseholds, that they just take on more
and find that maybe others don't stepup, there's not the right kind of

(02:59):
delegation. And why do you thinkthe numbers are so disproportionate. I think
women still are the traditional organizers ofour household life, and at the same
time, you know, they stillhave to provide the majority of parenting and
they have their own, you know, professional obligations. Even though our culture
is in transition, traditional roles stillimpose a very high degree of responsibility and

(03:21):
stress on women. So you mentionedabout acknowledging that stress, acknowledging that there
are going to be stressors, There'sgoing to be things that might be different
at this time of year or heightenedat this time of year. So how
might people be experiencing stress at thistime of year? Maybe that we need
to acknowledge that could be, aswe mentioned, different from other times of
the year. Oh, it's importantto acknowledge that stress is deeply personal experience.

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We all experience and show it indifferent ways. Some of us maybe
feel exhausted or debilitated when we're experiencingstress. Others might feel energized or full
of energy. It's important to wreckehow you and others experience stress and how
you can function to support and helpeach other. Some examples would be trying

(04:10):
to be an active listener to anotherperson's experience, trying to consider their challenges
from their point of view. Youcan also try to have an awareness for
the variety of holiday traditions observed inour community and understand that not everyone celebrates
the holiday season. You might evenhave a conversation about stress with your family,

(04:31):
including your kids, if you havethem. Being able to talk about
emotions with your kids and other familymembers opens up the dialogue and it strengthens
the connection and helps others learn howto best support you and vice versa.
You might even ask yourself a fewquestions like how do you experience stress?
Do you have body sensations like stomachaches or headaches or muscle tension, or

(04:55):
do you have strong emotions like feelingtense or overwhelmed. Sometimes might even have
stressful thoughts like I have to orI should. Practicing this and being able
to even share it with our childrenis a great way for them to learn
about themselves too. And of coursethis moves into talking about the way that
these stressors might exhibit themselves or presentthemselves. I want to talk a little

(05:17):
bit more about how people can thenstart to approach these stresses at different times.
You mentioned it's very personal. Everyonecould experience things in a different way,
but there are ways that we can, maybe in general or for many
of us, take some cues offof how to keep the stress levels as
low as we possibly can during atime when certainly they're going to creep in

(05:40):
certainly, and one way is toset realistic expectations for ourselves and others.
This may mean being able to settlewith things that work as opposed to our
own self imposed vision of perfection.Also taking time to plan ahead. It'll
help you manage the stress of theholiday season by giving you enough time to
take of what's necessary. You couldtry to consider about when it's okay to

(06:02):
say no. It is okay tosay no sometimes being able to set some
boundaries and saying no to holiday demandsand social obligations. You know, just
being honest and letting somebody know thatyou just have too much going on,
or you really need a night in, or you just need a night with
your family, that's okay to do. Being able to ask for help.

(06:24):
When we ask for help from thosearound us, we can help to lighten
our own burden and make other peoplefeel included. It does make other people
feel good to help each other,even us. It might be something big
like asking somebody else to host,or might be something small like asking your
partner to help take care of anerrand. Another thing you can do to

(06:44):
try to help maintain your ability towithstand the stress is keeping up with your
healthy habits. This is really importantthrough the holiday season. You could try
to maintain a regular sleep schedule.You can avoid the excessive use of alcohol
and keep exercising. You can haveholiday suites and treats and they can be
enjoyed in moderation and maintain a healthyfoundation of food choices. A real simple

(07:09):
thing that you can do is juststepping back from the business and the activity.
If you can head outside, takewalk, or pause and read a
book or listen to some soothing musicif you only have a moment, even
just going into another room away fromeverybody and taking a few slow, deep
breaths can help reduce that stress.Doctor Jeffrey Hopkins is our guest on the

(07:30):
Community check in this week. He'sa senior medical director of behavioral health that
excels Blue Cross, Blue Shield.We're talking about holiday stress levels and how
to help you best prepare yourself.Doctor, there is so much to unpack
in that last bit of how wecan approach stress. How much of the
holiday season would you guess, Andof course it's going to be different for
everyone. It seems that when Ilook at this list, a lot of

(07:54):
the stresses can be self imposed.That we'll do it to ourselves, or
we will or we'll eye up toeleven some of the stressors that are already
present. Because we feel like,as you mentioned earlier, we have to
do the holiday the way we've alwaysdone traditionally. We should be visiting all
of our relatives and seeing people andinviting people in. Is a lot of

(08:16):
what we do kind of brought uponourselves. Not to say that it's a
bad thing, but it's just kindof there that way. We have these
really strong self imposed visions, andyou know, if we look outside to
our you know, advertisements and ourspecial holiday movies, it shows things being
incredibly vibrant, and in fact thatmay be something more that's advertised. It's

(08:39):
a it's an image, and weactually have to live our lives through the
holiday season. Yeah, you know, a lot a lot of times we
have these like really intense feelings thatwe need to buy a lot of stuff
for other people, or that wehave to have humongous parties and get togethers.
And while those are that's wonderful,it can happen. There's nothing wrong
if it's a little bit more contained. Yeah, you mentioned there, it's

(09:03):
the okay to say no. That'ssomething that we've talked about before in other
context, but in the holiday season, I think many people do feel that
the no is something that they shouldn'tdo because it's not in the spirit of
the season. But really it isa gift that you can give to yourself
sometimes to just step back a littlebit when you are starting to feel overwhelmed,

(09:24):
and certainly it's going to be anunderstandable thing, and I would suspect
others are going to want to maybetake a queue off your lead and maybe
say no once or twice themselves.Right, you don't have to feel guilty
for taking a step back or foracknowledging that you have stress and being able
to admit the fact that the holidayseason can be stressful. It's okay.
It doesn't mean that you don't enjoyit, or you're not looking forward to

(09:46):
it, or the traditions aren't importantto you. And you also mentioned keeping
up with routines, sleep habits,eating habits, exercise habits very important to
keep up through the holidays. Whenwe contend to say get back to that
once New Year's is done, butwe can often get ourselves kind of out
of kilter in December, and sometimesit can take a little bit of effort

(10:09):
and maybe even more effort as weget older to get back on those tracks.
It's true, and it's even importantfor kids to stay up with their
routines. If we think about maintainingour own routine and then also having kids
maintain their routine, having healthy sleepschedules, trying to understand that kids themselves
can have stress during the holidays.They're anticipating the holiday season. School goes

(10:33):
right up until the holiday starts,and then oftentimes, you know, there's
an excitement to do a lot ofscreen time by kids. And if we
can help maintain routines, acknowledge thechild's stress, and do things that aren't
related to screen time, it canhelp have kids maintain a positive mood as

(10:54):
we maintain our own positive habits duringthe holiday season. Remember your mind full
eating everyone, because this is atime when there's a lot of things thrown
in your face and at arms atarm's length, and that can also be
You might feel good in the moment, but it can add to stresses down
the road. So, doctor,let's talk about advice for helping people who

(11:16):
might really feel guilty about their holidaystress. They're not finding ways or don't
have the mechanisms to deal with itin an appropriate and healthy way. Well,
I do think that people feel guiltand also have difficulty with the holiday
stress, and I think there's afew things that you can do to manage
that stress. One of the thingsis to acknowledge that there's a lot of

(11:39):
material drive to gate presents for eachother, to bring presents, But if
you really think about your own personalhistory and what are some of the most
vibrant and powerfully good memories, it'sabout what you actually did with your loved
ones as opposed to what they gaveyou. Yeah, and being able to
create those strong memories. It helpsto enrich the holiday experience and it can

(12:03):
move the focus away from material stuff. For a lot of us, we'll
do holiday traditions great. Starting ormaintaining holiday traditions helps to maintain our family
bonds, makes our holidays meaningful,and it can reduce our stress. For
myself, making sugar cookies and decoratingthem with the family, it's something that

(12:24):
we've been doing for generations. That'sone of the things that I notice more
the older I get. I canthink back to Christmases of my youth and
past, and I don't remember asingle thing I got, but I remember
those things we did together when itwas a large family dinner and we gathered

(12:45):
around a grandmother's table for hours,talking and eating and laughing with each other,
Or what my wife and I doright now on Christmas, we get
up in the morning, we goout and take a nice walk in the
woods, listen to the wildlife andsee the birds. It's quiet and we
enjoy that quiet. And as youmentioned that there's a lot of pressure and
focus sometimes on material things as opposedto say, experiences, and the material

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things can often add to financial stress. Financial stress is big around the holidays.
Let's talk a bit about those peoplethat might be trying to balance the
gift giving and the stress of thedebt they may incur because of those expectations
or those wants to do during theholidays. Being able to focus on experiences

(13:28):
versus material objects, right, ithelps to shift that emphasis away from material
objects. And for a lot ofpeople in their families, setting the stage
for reduced financial expenditure and reduced materialismduring the holiday season can really help to

(13:50):
reduce the stress. The common adagethat we hear that some families do is
that you have a modest number ofgifts. You have something to wear,
something to read, something you want, and then something you need, and
then that's enough, And that reallycan make a big difference. I'm gonna
remember that, and it's a wonderfulsort of a rhyme to have in your
head. But yeah, that's agood way to help us pare down because,

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as we mentioned earlier in the show, sometimes we think that the holidays
have to be large and grand,but they can be more meaningful and maybe
that's what we're really going for overall, is to simplify And if we think
about like outside of our family,and we think about the richness of our
community and how nice it can feelto us and be meaningful if we engage

(14:37):
in a charity drive or go toa community holiday event or volunteer. These
things that we can do that don'tcost anything but occur outside of the family
can really help to enrich us andreduce our stress and shift us away from
the financial burden that we might experienceduring the holiday. See. Now,

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let's talk about the young ones andhow they are impacted by this time of
year and what is often an incrediblypacked social schedule that they have no control
over. Sometimes, I mean,what can the parents caregivers do to support
these little ones? I do thinkunderstanding that socialization is fun, but it
also is a stressor for most ofus. Being able to take a look

(15:22):
at your own individual young ones andfiguring out how extroverted or introverted they are,
and being able to balance what theyneed in terms of being able to
socialize with family, going on trips, talking with neighbors and friends, and
also being able to have quiet timeif that's something that's benefit to that individual,
being able to support them, beingable to actually support them, and

(15:45):
being able to say no sometimes oreven yourself setting a limit with excess of
socialization really helps. And sometimes you'reright, they can be put into positions
that are stressful on them in waysthat adults don't quite realize because they may
be focused on how are they movingthrough their own holiday, how are they

(16:06):
fulfilling obligations that they feel they have, and then the young ones are kind
of brought along for the ride,and sometimes it's not thinking about it until
after the fact, like what haswhat's happened to them, and what may
how can we help just elevate theirexperience and keep them stress free while we're
trying to maybe take on more stressthan we normally do during the holidays.

(16:30):
I think it's important that we tryto control our own reaction distress. Know
we talked about those self care tipsearlier and being able to control our own
reaction distress so that our children andour young ones don't have to mirror our
own stress to show their alliance withus. That's one way being able to
talk openly with them, like howare you doing? Are you feeling tired?
Is it time to go home?Or are you excited? Being able

(16:52):
to have young ones, even ifyou're in a social situation, have a
quiet place to go to relax ifthat's what they need, or have some
way to destress, or just notnecessarily have to be socially on all the
time. These are some basic thingsthat we can do to help our children
when we're out socializing with them.I want to talk about a subject that
impacts many families, doctor Hopkins,and that's about how future holidays are experienced

(17:19):
when a family has experienced the lossof a loved one, either during the
holiday season in a previous year,or maybe even during the calendar year leading
up to that time, and thiswould be the first major holiday where that
family member is not there anymore.Let's unpack that a little bit about what
families can do to not only copewith that that they are working with,

(17:44):
but also maybe what it feels liketo have conversations about it with the family
unit, just the small family unit, about how everyone is feeling and how
they're going to celebrate that loved onewho's not here. I think it's important,
given our context, talk about thosethat we've lost and celebrating their lives
and sharing memories and acknowledging the important, positive impact that they've had in our

(18:07):
life. It's healthy and being ableto voice the impact loss has had on
you. It can be a relief, especially when it removes that taboo of
talking about loss and death. Havingthese types of conversations can help improve our
connection right to family and friends,and it can also help to elevate our
mood even though we're talking about somethingsad. It's also important to know that

(18:33):
not all loss happens when somebody dies. For instance, you know, sometimes
people move away, children can experiencedivorce. Some people never even had the
kinds of relationships that we're hoping forwith important people. All of these things
can be magnified during the holiday seasonwith our importance and the focus on family

(18:53):
time. It's just like the lossof having the death of a loved one.
Talking about these things can be helpful. More community check in on Managing
holiday stress with doctor Jeffrey Hopkins upnext. Everyone deserves to be cared for
and to live well, and atExcell's Blue Cross Blue Shield, that's why
we're here. Through affordable plan options, community investments, partnerships and education,

(19:18):
we're working to address iniquities that madecare feel out of reach for too many
people for far too long. Becausewhen we build up communities and break down
health barriers, everybody benefits. Learnmore at EXCELUSBCBS dot com. Welcome back
to the community check in. DoctorJeffrey Hopkins is our guest this week,
and he's a senior medical Director BehavioralHealth with Excell's Blue Cross Blue Shield.

(19:41):
We're talking about holiday stress in thisweek's episode and ways that you can help
not only to acknowledge your stress,understand it, but also to find ways
of reducing those stress levels, findways of making meaningful connections not only within
your family community, but within thegreater community. I think it's important for

(20:03):
the larger community to understand and beaware that not everyone celebrates the holiday or
a holiday the same way. Noteveryone has their stress front and center and
easily known. You don't really know, right doctor, the struggle that someone
else might be going through. Andit's important to know that even as individuals

(20:25):
get through the holiday stress, somebodymay get through it and look totally fine,
and then they can experience post holidayblues which some people then after the
excitement is over, they can feeltired or irritable, even sad, and
they might be confused about what's goingon. For most of us, this
goes away in a few days.If it sticks around for more than two

(20:48):
weeks, it's important that you talkto your healthcare professional. I think that
don't be afraid and don't be hardon yourself if you do have this kind
of a post holiday syndrome as theycall it, and to know that it's
normal, it's nothing being worried about, absolutely, and to know that at
you're working with a few things,and some of them are environmental that you

(21:10):
really can't control. We don't havea whole lot of sunlight at this time
of year. We're still working towardsthe longest Night, as they call it,
in the first day of winter,where we really do have a lot
of darkness out there, and thatcan really be something that puts us at
a disadvantage. The holidays are filledwith cheer, and light and sound and

(21:30):
laughter. But that can often beisolating. Would you agree that for some
people it can put them in aplace that makes them feel that they're not
connected though there are so many connectionsgoing on around them. It's true,
and one of the great ways tostart a conversation with somebody else is even
just to say, hey, lotsof people get stressed out during the holidays,
how are you doing. Also,if it goes beyond that, for

(21:55):
yourself, make sure to talk toyour primary care doctor. And if you
are are an Excell's Blue Cross BlueShield member, you might have access to
the call map and that can helpto manage stress and promote wellness. You
can find out if you access yourExcell's Blue Cross Blue Shield account and log
in, you can see if youhave access to that application. And if
you go to the excel Us BlueCross Blue Shield dot com web page and

(22:22):
you can go to under the healthand Wellness tab, there's a lot of
tips and activities that you can dothat we referenced that can help you get
through the holiday stressful time. Andthat site is excel USBCBS dot com.
It is available to members and communitymembers, not necessarily just those that are
members and have Blue Cross Blue Shield. Excellus Blue Cross Blue Shield, there's

(22:45):
their primary provider. There's a lotof resources available to the community. As
we wrap up our discussion, doctorHopkins talk a little bit more about those
resources that are available, not justthrough Excellis Blue Cross Blue Shield, but
really there are resources that are reallythey're in our families, they're in our
neighborhoods, they're in our entire community. I'd like you to everybody to remember

(23:06):
that talking with other people that you'reclose to is a great place to start
again. Talking with your primary careprovider. If you feel overwhelmed, if
you are in a crisis, youcan always dial nine to eight eight.
It's the Actives Mental Health Crisis Linein New York State. Or if you
just aren't sure what kind of resourcesare out there, you can always dial
two one one and get connected tocommunity support person that can help direct you

(23:32):
to supports that you might need outsideof Blue Cross Blue Shield. We have
been spending time on this pre holidayedition of the Community Check In talking with
doctor Jeffrey Hopkins, who's a seniormedical director of Behavioral health that Excels Blue
Cross Blue Shield. In our finalmoments, Doctor Hopkins, you mentioned sugar
cookies frosted or unfrosted sprinkles and ifso, what variety? Definitely frosted with

(23:56):
red and green sprinkles Red and greenas opposed to the rainbow. There are
some who think the rainbow tastes better. That's that's how we always did it
in little sheets too. And ifyou if you make snowmen, do you
go for the head first when youeat them? Always, because again,

(24:17):
the head also tastes better. Wedefinitely want to thank doctor Jeffrey Hopkins for
a little laugh there at the endof our program. We've been talking about
ways to help you manage the holidaysand keep your stress levels low. To
your family, Doctor Hopkins, havea very happy holiday, sir, and
to you Joe. Thanks for joiningus on Community check In, a presentation

(24:37):
of excel Us Blue Cross, BlueShield and iHeartRadio. Podcasts of Community check
In are available on the iHeartRadio appor wherever you find your favorite audio content.
For more ways to stay safe,healthy, and educated, visit excel
USBCBS dot com and follow on Instagramand Facebook.