Family Issues

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the Greg Hicks Show.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
We're just heading down through the summer and it's August,
and wow, who knew that summer would fly by?

Speaker 1 (00:08):
And who knew? How would they? But this weekend? Whoop,
we're in the eighties and not the dash.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Yeah, we're not weather people were I'm Greg Hicks to
introduce the show properly.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
I'm Greg Hicks certified fin that.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
I'm standing at the weather wonder's.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
The weathers at the weather Lady Wanda is our financial
advisor in our office and Bo Nicholson is not here today.
He might join us later, but we're not sure. So anyway,
welcome to the show. Today, we're going to talk about
a topic that's very prevalent in our society. It's called
divorce issues and how that affects your life, not only emotionally,

(00:45):
of course, but financially. We're financial advisors, financial planners, and
we have a a small boutique financial planning business financial
resource management, headquartered in Rileigh, North Carolina, that fast growing city,
and then we have a satellite office in a beautiful
setting on the harbor in Atlantic Beach. It's actually on

(01:06):
the Atlantic Beach Causeway, which is a nice view to have. Anyway,
thank you for joining us today, and if you're brand
new to the show, we're on every weekend on radio
and Raleigh one of six to one FM Talk and
on talk radio and the Atlantic Beach area. The Goal
the Crystal Coast is where we are and we're so

(01:27):
glad you tuned in. We're also on podcasts under the
title the real clever title The Greg Hicks Show.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
How creative is that it's easy to say, though, I mean,
instead of the other name. It's so easy because I
can say our podcast. Just look up the Greg Hicks Show.
There you go so easy.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
I know when I tell Sometimes I'll tell relatives they
don't realize I'm on the radio and I'll say, yeah,
we came up with a creative name, the Greg Hicks Show.
You could probably remember it. But anyway, but we're so
glad you tuned in. And we usually start our first
segment on what in the world's going on out there
that affects your life, especially your financial life, and then

(02:06):
we're going to get into our topic of the day, divorce. Wow,
a lot of people are in it out of it.
Second marriage. This last two or three weeks, we've had
a theme called the family, talking about all kinds of
things that happened to people and their family and how
that impacts their financial life and decision making and so

(02:28):
wand I had to bring up a couple of things
today that's kind of interesting. Number one, the Big Bad
Bill and the tax law change. See see the media goes,
you know, it's about beating Trump up pretty much across
the board. So the Big Bad Bill was the June
beating beat down, and now that's over, nobody talks about it.

(02:49):
So I wanted to mention, look.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
At the deals he's had signed recently, I know.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
The trade deals. And by the way, the economy grew
three percent last quarter. And I heard a bunch of
replays of the news media back in February when he
mentioned the tax the tariff change, and all the gurus
were saying, we're going to be in a recession before
the end of.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
The song fall into the abyss.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Well somehow that didn't happen.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
But anyway, I wanted to point out, going back to
the tax, you know, only billionaires get the right off.
And we talked about a couple of weeks ago, the
top one percent pay of Americans pay the top five
percent of American income producers pay forty nine percent of
all the taxes, and the lower quintile, the lower twenty

(03:35):
percent of income earners, pay three percent of all the taxes.
So if you get a tax right off, guess what,
the people who pay the taxes are going to get
the right off.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
But anyway, this was.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
A great article in the Wall Street Journal just this week,
and so just to set the record straight, the bottom
twenty percent of income earners are going to get one
hundred and fifty dollars average tax savings. The next step up,
the next twenty percent of earners get a seven hundred
and fifty dollars a year. Now, it's that's not much

(04:08):
because they're not paying much. But then as you go
up in the middle quintyle, the middle twenty percent, they
get a seventeen hundred and eighty dollars average deduction, and
then the twenty percent above that thirty four hundred, and
then finally the top one percent, who are making you know,
a million a year income, they're going to get a

(04:29):
seventy five thousand dollars right off. Now, when you look
at dollars, clearly the people who make the most money
and pay the most taxes are going to.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
Get the benefit.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
But anyway, again, I just wanted to point that out
again because of the distortion that you hear over and
over about money and rich people and all that. It's
just completely factually untrue, and it really bothers me when
I hear it, because you know, you and I and
Bow are numbers people.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
The numbers never lie when you look at them.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
And so I just I just want to set record
straight as often as we can.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
Nothing but the facts, ma'am, Nothing but the facts.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yeah, the old show that.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
Well, And you know, I think probably in sometime in December, Greg,
you and I can talk about this. We probably should
follow up on a show on the Big, Bad, Beautiful Bill,
whichever you want to call it, and see, you know,
remind folks of what's coming in the tax year for
twenty twenty five. I think that would be a good reminder.
I know they're filing for twenty twenty five in twenty

(05:30):
twenty six, so that would be a good because I'm
seeing a lot too, and I'm having trouble breaking it
down as how it applies to me, and maybe we should,
you know, talk about that on the show. But anyway,
one of the saddest things I am not sad. I
guess when I look at what people might take from
media and apply it to their financial picture, it kind

(05:53):
of makes me sad. Like I was reading an article
the hottest business strategy is buying crypto, and it's in
big bullprint. So somebody's going to take that and go
do it, you know, And I'm not saying that. I
you know, you shouldn't buy crypto, but maybe there are
people other shouldn't buy it, to be honest with you,

(06:15):
So don't take the news articles and take them and
apply them to your financial life without getting some feedback.
So talk to an investment professional. We're here for you,
so give us a call. Nine one nine eight five
six nineteen sixty eight. And the other sad thing I
read greg was more Americans are tapping their four one

(06:36):
ks for financial emergency.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Yes, and that's that tells you a little bit.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
And that has nothing to do with Trump. I don't
think you know and things that are going on. I
don't really know the answer to that, but I will
say this, before you do that, seek advice from your
financial advisor. Let's talk through, because sometimes I can steer
people in a different direction that they hadn't thought about.

(07:04):
Because they're so emotional about whatever event they're trying to cover,
they haven't thought about other avenues. Sometimes it makes sense
to go to the four one K. I just don't
want you to go there first, So let's you know,
let's talk about it. Give us a call number nine
eight five six, nineteen sixty eight.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
Now there is a more logical sound way to tap
into a four to one K. Most companies allow what
they call hardship loans. You can borrow money from it
as long as you're willing to pay it back at
least once a quarter through your paycheck, and you charge
yourself an interest, maybe yourself you're paying yourself back, and

(07:42):
if you need if you have a ten thousand or
twenty thousand dollars emergency, you can borrow up to fifty
thousand a year and or half of your If you're
a fourrowin k's forty thousand, you could borrow up to twenty. Yeah,
but that way, you're you're not paying taxes on it,
you're not liquidate that, you're not jeopardizing your future retirement.

(08:02):
But it's a logical way to borrow money. So please
look at that way first, if you really truly have
no other choice.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
And it sounds like the Feederal Reserve is kind of
having some mom in bread fighting, if you will.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Yeah, this Wednesday, by the way.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
Yeah, it's just it's really weird because it looks like
they could lower the rates but they're not.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
Yeah, and two of the governors were like, yes, we should.
And that's first time it's happened in like forty I know.
So that tells you what's going on.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
Phila McCoy's evidently.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
In September they'll lower it because they have to now
they put themselves on the line. But anyway, we have
a lot to say today. Stay tuned and we're going
to enjoy a fun show talking about family issues, particularly
around divorce. Welcome back to the Greg Hicks Show. I'm
here with Wanda Cooper bo As Bow. Our other sidekickers
out today.

Speaker 3 (08:55):
He's working hard.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
That's right, we're working.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
We're working on a topic today called divorce issues that
affects so so many people, particularly in the United States,
and it's a big topic and we're glad you tuned in.
You may have a friend, you may have been divorced,
or you may be contemplating a divorce, or mom and
dad may have divorced, and if you've been around it
at all, you know it can cause chaos emotionally, of course,

(09:19):
but also financially and by the way, our guest divorce
lawyers not here today, but Rick Lovett says occasionally the
top two reasons for divorce. Number one is affairs. Imagine
that sexual affairs, Yeah, yeah, yeah. But number two on
the list is money, money issues, money fights, money disagreements.

(09:39):
So that's why we talk about it at least once
or twice a year because money issues. By the way,
money issues can keep a person from getting a divorce
or you know, so believe it or not, you can
actually save a marriage sometimes by doing logical money and
decision making. So that's why we're talking today. We're glad

(10:01):
you tuned in. By the way, to reintroduce if you
tuned in late, I'm Greg Kick, certified financial planner. Wanda
Cooper's with me financial advisor. We have a small business
with about eight or nine hundred clients called Financial Resource Management.
It's headquartered in Raleigh. It's kind of close to the
North Hills shopping center area. And then we have a

(10:22):
second satellite office in Atlantic Beach, North Carolina, right on
the causeway down there in the Crystal Coast. So anyway,
you are very welcome to call us. We get calls
every week from our show nine one, nine, eight, five, six,
nineteen sixty eight. We have a website if you want
to contact us that way or just check us out.

(10:43):
We know people check us out because they tell us
that's our The initials of our business financial Resource Management
here in North Carolina. So the initials of our website
are frm NC dot com. That's f rm NC dot com.
And there's a ton of information there. We have a

(11:04):
cool website. You can look at Wanda bo and me
and our biographical backgrounds. Our office sites are there. The
radio show is archive there. If you want to listen
to a topic, you can click the Greg Kicks Radio
Show tab and scroll down and pick a topic. Then
you can you can use this as an educational tool

(11:27):
we have. I have so many clients say to me,
I listened to your show the other day on the
topic whatever it is. So our own clients use that
show as kind of us a resource. Yeah, they want
to know about inheritance or four oh one k I
re rollover, they.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Click that top and that's what they remember.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
That's right, So today is divorced. So basically, uh, it's
a real issue.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
It is.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
Why did I meet people that are in a divorce
situation just had one, or contemplating, or our friends and
moms and dads and sisters and brothers. It's kind of everywhere, unfortunately.
But Wind and Bow and I talk about reality on
our show. We don't talk about ooh, let's theoretically guess something.
So Today's is just a hard reality show. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
Well, and you know, the statistics are not changing a
whole lot. I mean, we've done this show for years
and even in twenty twenty five, they're saying forty percent
of first marriages will probably end up in divorce. And
I think it's like sixty percent of second marriages. That's
kind of sad, so you think you'd get it right

(12:40):
the second time. But anyway, so that is a little
bit of statistics, and that can be found on the
internet anywhere you can ask AI or whatever and the
same thing comes up. But I did check, you know,
a legal website for that information. But you know, when
you talk about the reasons for divorce to me, they intertwine.

(13:02):
When you've got a lack of commitment, you got infidelity,
you got communication problems, with financial issues, they work together.
I mean typically you're going to have all four somehow intertwined.
So and that's the reason to me that when a
couple is thinking that way, they should get help from
an attorney, a financial advisor, and possible a therapist. You know. So,

(13:26):
I don't think I'd give up on my marriage until
I've done all those things. Now, infidelity is a big
one to overcome, but it can be overcome, you know,
not saying that you know you did anything wrong if
you decided to split, it's just you know, there are
I don't think there's ever things that are irreparable. I
think God can fix anything. But nevertheless, it is what

(13:47):
it is, and sometimes divorce happens. But the saddest thing
I'm hearing is called, and I mentioned it last week,
the Gray divorce. Sixty five plus year old people are
getting divorces after forty plus years of marriage.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, we meet with people like that.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
And that was when I saw that article. I was like,
what is a great divorce? I was thinking, you know Gray,
like you know money was Gray in the mirror. You know,
I wasn't even thinking, but they call it gray divorce
because of our hair, I guess, yeah, But that divorce
rate is rising, according to Purdue University rising. Greg. I mean,

(14:29):
that is sad to me. So that is the age
where there's a lot of assets involved and a lot
of joint assets. You never thought about having things separate, never,
So that's a complicated challenge right there. So if if
you have found yourself in that category, and I hope not,

(14:51):
but if you have, I would seek some financial advice
and you can call us nine one nine eight five
six nineteen sixty or see your own advisor. But we'd
love to help you with that as well, because that,
to me could bring on a whole slew of things,
you know, because you've been married so long.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
Yeah, And the baby boomer age group in particular has
worked hard. They're by nature hard workers, saved because their
mom and dad taught them to save. And so when
you do get a divorce at an older age, you
usually have quite a bit of assets. And there's something
in the law called equitable distribution, And just simply a

(15:31):
simple way to think of it is everything is you
try to split it about fifty to fifty. That's what
equitable distribution means, and that's the law in North Carolina.
So there's no longer that. Unfortunately, in a way, there's
that member of the rule where the husband you know,
went ran out and dated women on me and slept.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
With there's no distribution on that.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
They're gonna pay for that, and I'm gonna get a
lot of money and alimony and you know, unfortunately, I
mean alimony and i'll support still exists if the kids
are under age eighteen or so.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
But the equitable.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
Distribution is kind of takes away that, you know, anger
part and retribution part, and it kind of says, okay,
let's split everything. Well, as you said, an older person
probably has a joint house or a second house at
the beach, a pension plan of four oh one k,
maybe both have four to one case, you have a dog,

(16:27):
you have a boat, you have kids, you have grand grandkids.
I mean, it goes on and on and so then
it gets incredibly complicated compared to say a thirty year
old who's getting a divorce after three years of marriage,
where there's not a lot of assets. So wander that's
where you and I and bo get involved, is like whoa,
And then there's tax implications and so forth. So so

(16:51):
I'll just start with one. Let's say there's a four
to oh one k, and let's say the husband has
five hundred thousand and the wife has a roth IRA. Well,
she's entitled half of his four O one k, even
if she stayed home for years and help raise the kids.
That's why equitable distribution works for that situation. She's going

(17:14):
to get half of that four O one k probably,
and there's a way to transfer it to her IRA
without any tactable event.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
So it's it's a it's a again, it's all this
stuff evolved because of the problem of that.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
And the pension is the same way she could that
could be a trade off, or he gets a pension
and she gets a four O one k in that case,
or she can get half of the pension income after
age sixty five. And this is where a good divorce
lawyer you need, You need legal health, and you need
financial advice big time.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
Yes, And it's called I think they do forensic accounting
so they can get down to the nickel and piece
of it. I don't do that, but I tell you
something I do recommend. One time, I had a couple
that was divorcing and the wife came to see me.
Of course, there was infidelity involved, but you can't put
a price on that, you know, and the lawyers don't
do it either, And in North Carolina there's no such

(18:11):
thing as getting more equity because of, you know, an affair.
But she was going to get alimony, and I can't
remember the reason. Maybe it was alimony child's sport. I
don't I don't really remember. It'spending years ago. But I said, well,
what happens if he dies? And she went, oh, the
attorney didn't say anything about that. Now, I'm sure that

(18:32):
wasn't you know, that probably wasn't the best attorney if
he didn't say anything. But I know iur is the
one we were for for people who would have said
something about that. But she said, well, he didn't say
anything about that, so again.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
What happens your alimony drives up?

Speaker 3 (18:46):
Yep. So she went back to the attorney, came back
to me and said, we need some life insurance. So
we were able to solve it. But yeah, the life
insurance can solve the pension issue and all of that.
If that's a worry.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, and make sure the wife is the owner of
the policy. If the husband's the owner, he can change
the beneficiary and stuff like that. So you kind of
get down to you got to get the emotion out
of it if you can, and get down to the
logic of it. And that's where a financial advisor would
be helpful. Well.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
I had a client recently bring up to me in
front of her husband. He owns a business with a partner,
and she said, not that I'm expecting this to happen,
she said, but what happens for me if you were
decide to divorce me. He said, I'm not going to
do that. She said, but what Yeah, is there anything
in writing? He said, well, no, that my partner knows

(19:40):
to do that. And she was like, wander what do
you think. I said, well, in reality, I would get
this legally documented of what happens if there's death or divorce.
And she said, see, I told you so, Yeah, those
things don't know. You can't do a handshake on these things.
So if you own a business together, you do need

(20:02):
to make sure what happens when one of you dies
and one of you decides to leave.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
I had a case where that same thing happened. For
our next break, I asked the question, what if you
die and your partner's alive, your wife would inherit the
stock in the company. And I looked at the partner.
I said, do you want to work with his wife?
And there was a moment of silence. He said, oh,
I like her. I said no, I'm talking about business.

(20:29):
All of a sudden, the light bulb went off. They
had to create a way to transfer or to buy
out the wife if he died. So again, these are
just things that matter. They don't matter until they happen,
and then they really matter. So that's just another idea
to think about. Okay, we're going to take a quick
break and come back to discuss more on this area
of divorce. And welcome back to the Great Kicks Show.

(20:50):
We're talking about divorce issues today. We've been on a
little bit of a run here about families. We talked
about marital issues, financial issues in marriage. We threw in
the big bad tax bill a few weeks ago, you know,
just to get people.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Up to speed.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
I call it beautiful, you call it bad.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
I know. I just we talked about blended family.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
Issues, about second marriages, and how sometimes you get a divorce,
get remarried, or espouse dies, Like in my personal case,
my wife Sue passed away and I remarried Laurie. There's
blended family issues. We both had kids, so we talked
about that. Today we're talking about divorce and divorce is real.
And if you have any questions on anything we're talking about,

(21:35):
you can easily pick up the phone and call us,
even on a weekend.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Leave a voicemail. We'll call you back next week.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
But the number to call is nine one, nine eight
five six nineteen sixty eight. If you want to meet
with us personally, that's the best way to do it.
And then you can, you know, we can gather data
from you. You can talk about your goals, your situation
and Wanda and Bo and I. You know, people say,
are you still accepting clients? Yes, we're still growing and

(22:04):
even though we're busy, but we like meeting with people.
And just just this week, I met with a couple
that actually had an advisor, but the advisor was not
performing well with them in the sense of not giving
them real key data like how are we doing And

(22:25):
the answer was you're doing okay. I mean that's not
exactly what that's not exactly a report. But anyway, but
the feedback I got later from the meeting was it
kind of lit them up.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
A little bit too.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
It kind of like sparked the idea that, oh my gosh,
there's a lot of things coming down the pipeline. This
couple is in their late fifties, you know, the next
decade is all these major decisions. How I brought up
so security, medicare and inheritance and you know, and I
just threw out some ideas in the first meeting, but

(23:06):
it kind of lit them up to It was almost
like uncovering key information that you kind of knew a
little about, but you really didn't know about. And and
so the excitement level I found out later, the excitement
level was really high after the meeting and that and
that made me feel good that, like, you know, that's
what we're about.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
Plan.

Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yeah, if you're a good financial advisor, you're going to
expose people to a lot of great ideas and if
they implement them, it could make all the difference in
the world.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
It really could.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
So anyway, win today we're talking about divorce, but next week, now,
next week I've got managing expectations like what do you
expect in life or from investments or whatever. Or we
can insert one of our new newer shows we've just
created a few months ago. And then Wine is coming
up pretty soon on money and power for women.

Speaker 1 (24:00):
That'll be your you'll be the.

Speaker 3 (24:01):
Star that yes, if y'all will just be quiet.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Bo and I'll just throw in a little you ask me,
I'll interview you as a guest like you were the female.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
In the room. I'm the expert.

Speaker 1 (24:13):
That's right, that's right. So anyway back today on divorce.
So here's a big thing.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
A lot of times when the divorce happens, there's children involved,
and there's two different complete ideas. If there are minor
kids or under eighteen that say, are under twenty, that's
one big thing because you could have child care support
and all that kind of stuff. And then you have,
like you said, the graying divorce. The people sixty and
above or fifty five and above, they usually have adult kids.

(24:42):
Sometimes they're still in college. Sometimes there's grandkids involved within
people in their sixties particular. So all of that matters,
like how do you how do you take care of
the kids needs or the inheritance when y'all both die
or the grandkids they I mean, you're affecting. It's not

(25:02):
much like a chain reaction. It's not just you and
your spouse. It's like a ripple effect.

Speaker 1 (25:08):
But you have to think through that. How do you
handle those situations holidays?

Speaker 3 (25:13):
I mean think about it? Yeah, well, and recently I
talked to someone that's divorced, and of course she you know,
she and her husband had custody of the children and
the joint custody. But then it comes the point of
when the kids get grown, do they choose which family
they're going to visit with or the holiday and they

(25:35):
put you second. I mean, you know, so there is
lots of emotional issues with that. But if we're focusing
on the financial issues of it, the thing of the
matter is marriage matters. I mean, let's face it, it's
an emotional attachment, it's a financial attachment, it's a physical attachment.
It's all there. But the money piece can really strain divorce,

(26:02):
even a divorce situation, because then you become enemies because
you're fighting over money when you may could have had
a decent divorce and and gotten through if you've gotten
help and you know, gotten a mediator and all that stuff.
But the money makes people crazy. So the best way

(26:23):
to meet for me to me is to put the
money on the table with a financial person, like a
financial advisor, and just kind of look at what's there
and what can happen and what the needs are. Typically
we'll get you know, the wife or the husband after
the divorce, but they both don't stay. So, but the

(26:45):
money pieces is so huge, and and nobody wants to
feel like they didn't get half of what they worked for.
Because if you're in a marriage forty to fifty years,
you if you stayed together that long, there was effort,
some capacity on both parts. So no one wants to
leave that partnership with nothing.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Right.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
So now I have I have a situation where the couple,
they're around fifty or fifties, early fifties, and two kids
in college, and so who pays for the college? They
got divorced about seven eight years ago when they were
in middle school.

Speaker 3 (27:25):
They have joint custody. Well, yeah, so I think they
split it.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, so, but what they did and there's by the way,
there's no one formula. It depends so much on it's
and that's where the advisor could be an objective benefit
like okay.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
You have this and you have this.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
Okay, so but what what they did, which I thought
was great, The husband paid for all the college period
and it's written down in the agreement divorce settlement. Uh
you know, so he had a five twenty nine plan
and now that the two kids are in college and
he's paying for it. And what that did was that
took the wife. The wife is not obligated to pay

(28:07):
for it unless the husband died or something like that.
So anyway, that's just one example of how to skin
the cat right. So that way, you know, the wife
took less of the assets in exchange for the husband's pain.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
So there's a little bit.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Of barber Yeah, a barter, a trade off, like like
you get the beach condo, I'll keep my four O
one k. So I've seen that happen where the wife
got the second home and the husband kept all of
his four O on k because that home was worth
three or four hundred thousand.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
So there it's there.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
Again, not a magic formula, but the government says equitable distribution,
what's fair, and then you compromise, you'll never you'll never
get I know, our attorneys. Sometimes we have on our show,
he says. He says, sometimes the biggest yelling matches are
about who gets to keep the cat or the dog.

(29:02):
Sometimes it's not even about money, it's the pet.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
Well, and you have to remember whether you're the husband
or the wife. I've seen this too. The wife gets
to keep the house and stay in the house where
she raised her kids, and maybe they're getting ready to
go to college, maybe they're in high school, and she
thinks that should be a free asset. Well, no, it's not.
You have to take the value of the house. You know,

(29:25):
that's your equitable distribution. And if that keeps your unit
together with your children, then then he's and he's say,
it's the woman staying in the house, and he's given
you the house, so half.

Speaker 1 (29:37):
Of that house value is his right, that's real money, right.

Speaker 3 (29:42):
So that's the sad part is sometimes is even especially wives,
we can't look at it that way, and so we
have to have a mediation type of situation because in
our mind, that's my house. I'm raising my kids here,
I've raised my kids here, I fed you here, I
did the you know, they think that shouldn't even be
in the equation.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yes, and it is, yeah, it is, it is. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
And sometimes I joke about you know, you have a
big boat. Who gets the boat? Do you split the
boat in half? Yeah, so the boat becomes if the boat's.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
Or the boat slip.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Yeah, forty thousand dollars and you're paying five thousand a
year and the boat slip. If the husband keeps that,
then then he's got an offset to the wife because
she owns half the boat.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
You know what I'm saying. So again you get down.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
To these details. But divorce happens, there's a lot usually
a lot of bitterness and anger, and part of that's
because of the way assets have to be broken down.
And it's kind of like the politics nothing. You know,
each party, each side never gets all they want, and
that's where a compromise comes in. So just realize the

(30:51):
divorce situation is a compromise. You're you're not going to
get to keep like the woman like she'll say, I'm
going to keep my diamond ring and it's worth twenty
five thousand dollars.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
Well, how do you you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (31:05):
I mean, yeah, that again, that's an emotional thing. But
what if the wife kept the ring? And then she
got a divorce and then a month later she sold
it for twenty five grands. So that's an asset. So
even though it's all emotional, I get it. It's so hard.
I've done some studies on this. I actually teach a

(31:27):
Sunday school class and sometimes we'll talk about money and
there's a there's a spiritual connection to assets, and also
there's an emotional connection. So when my first wife died,
it was hard for me to give away her dresses,
her durala, and I tried to get you know, my
daughter and her sister to take it all, but they

(31:49):
didn't want half of it. So I had to get
someone to come over and help me undo that emotional connection,
you know, give it away.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
So a divorce is like that.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
You may have bought the boat together and had so
much fun over the years with the kids at the lake,
and then who gets the boat, But the boat has
emotional build up in your brain, and that's it's kind
of weird, how something I'm going to do a deep
study on how emotion and material and money are connected

(32:20):
because they're deeply connected.

Speaker 3 (32:22):
Yes they are.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
So now we're coming up on a break here. So
and then when we come back.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
Well, we still have some more bullet for it to
talk about on divorce, but we just want to thank
you for listening and listen. If you have any questions,
call us at nine one nine eight five six, nineteen
sixty eight. Call us now, leave a message. We'll call
you back now on nine eight five six nineteen sixty eight.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
Hang on and.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Welcome back to the last segment of the Gray Kick Show.
If you've missed the show. All of our shows are archived,
usually around Tuesday following our Saturday show. You can go
and find that and actually go back and listen to
the whole show or a multitude of shows. They archive
about fifty shows backwards going, all kinds of topics, all

(33:08):
kinds of like IRA rollovers, inheritance, grandkids, current events, all
kinds of stuff. You can find it on our website
at f rm NC dot com that stands our business name,
Financial Resource Management in North Carolina fram NC dot com
or call us at nine one nine eighty five six

(33:28):
nineteen sixty eight to talk about it, and you can
also find it on the podcast. Right the podcast, just
look up Greg hickshow go Yeah, just find it and
scroll down and pick your topic and you'll hear a
lot of stuff. Our shows are highly informational. Part of

(33:50):
our goal on the radio is to broadcast not just
for ourselves, but to teach people the things about financial
planning and and tax savings and all those kind of things.
And we get a lot of great feedback from our
listeners like, well I learned a lot today, you know.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
And when when that's said to us, we all go, yes,
that's good. We love it.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
So anyway, and again, give us a call at nine
five six, nineteen sixty eight and we'll talk through things
for you. And it may not have anything to do
with divorce. Just call us about any financial planning type question. Okay,
so whya. There's a few more things. One thing that's
kind of is funny and kind of sad, but sometimes
when you get a divorce, there's there's usually a lot

(34:33):
of anger and bitterness, and so sometimes the spouse will
not reveal all the assets or had something. One quick
example this happened years ago where a couple divorced and
a year or two later, through a circumstance, the wife
found out that the husband had worked way back in

(34:54):
his twenties and had had a pension, but the pension
was never brought up in the divorce. So a few
years later the husband was going to get an income
from his pension and that was never found until after
the fact.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
So, uh, a good divorce.

Speaker 3 (35:11):
How did that solved? Do you know?

Speaker 2 (35:12):
Well, it wasn't because the divorce attorney forgot to put
in a little clause that says, if any asset is
our income is not exposed in this settlement and is
discovered later, the discovery will result in one hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (35:27):
Of it going to the spouse. So he didn't add
that he purposely hid it.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
Yeah. So anyway, keep in mind attorneys are perfect. Yeah, yeah, make.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
Sure everything's disclosed. It's kind of on an honor system.
And that's why you said sometimes they hire friends that
got to go down and.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
Find I think a lot of women particularly know how
to dig, so just use those skills as what I'd say.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
And on the on the women's side, how many women
have said to us that we didn't even ask, but
they said, oh yeah, I've got I've got my money hidden.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
They they have a little slush fun. I think it's
the nature of a fe it is a little slush
quarter in the purse. Yeah, yeah, I gotta I got
a shop. Sometimes I need.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
I gotta make a phone call back in the day,
back in the day, Not so much now now. The
other thing that's big and divorce greg is social security
because I think sometimes people think that's over for them
or whatever. But no, you can get access to if
you're the woman, you can get access to his social security.
If it's going to be more than yours. You know,

(36:31):
half of his is going to be more than yours,
you can certainly apply if you've been married ten If
you've been married ten that ten years.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
Now if you're if you're going to get a divorce
and you're only one year away, wait, our advice would
be just hang on, hang on. Let's say your husband's
a high income guy. Let's say he's a doctor and
he's found a nurse he likes. Unfortunately that happens and
you're nine years into the marriage, just.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
Wait one more to the tenth hang on, hang on then,
and and by.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
The way, you and by the way, Wanda, just just
to make it clear, So my my wife Laurie's set
my second wife, Lorie, her husband died and uh when
she and I got married. I was curious about how
long does she have to be married to me?

Speaker 3 (37:18):
You're talking?

Speaker 2 (37:19):
Yeah, So her husband was a great guy. He was
a pastor and was a school teacher, and so he
his income was not at my level. It just wasn't
so if and Laurie was married to him, like, you know,
twenty five years, so when when she when when he died,
she would inherit her social Security income or his, whichever's higher.

(37:44):
So when she married me, though, this is shocking, you
only have to be married ten months. I gotten ten
years that at all I know, I was like ten months.
So in the eleventh month, I said to Laurie, I said, Laurie,
guess what did you raise? Yeah, you get a raise
if I die. Now, all you have to do is
wait till you're retirement agent. You'll get all of my

(38:06):
social Security, which is about twice as much.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
As your forumable.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
So a not known rule, I think.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:14):
So anyway, I'm glad you brought up to social security.
By the way, we have a whole show on social security.
We think everybody thinks as simple and it's not as complicated.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
And we have a resource. We have a guy that
and of course he's in business to do this, so
there's a fee. Doesn't have anything to do with us,
and we don't get any of it. But he will
meet with you and we'll discuss your social security and
what the best strategies are. And I love that because
I've had people try to get an appointment with social
Security itself and it's hard. It's hard, So why not

(38:48):
pay a little fee and get the skinny on what
you need to do? So give us a call nine
one nine eight five six nineteen sixty eight.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
And why did Bow and I we actually go over
social security strategies with anybody sixty or older. Yes, we
as part of your retirement income benefit. And by the way,
a lot of times we taught we use the term
retirement income planning. And I've heard from radio listeners occasionally
they didn't exactly know what that meant.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
It's everything.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
It's not just so security, it's everything your four oh
one K, your expenses, should you pay your mortgage off?
There's there's a dozen We have a show on retirement
income planning. So if you've never if your advisor is
not giving you a big picture, call us. I mean
it's to me, it's a pity that, you know, an

(39:39):
advisor has a million dollars worth of assets they're managing,
but when the when the client asked a question about
so security, they don't even they don't know how to
even talk about it. So give us a call nine
one nine eight five six nineteen sixty eight.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
Well, you know, I'm always surprised when people tell me
that they're in other words, they're interviewing me, and and
they say, our current advisor told us he didn't know
anything about social security when we asked him. I would
be afraid to say, I mean, to me, that's a
part of the journey. I mean, that's all a part
of it. I mean big piece of it for a

(40:14):
lot of people, and still an important piece even if
you don't need it, because you worked so long to
build that up, so why not take it. But interestingly enough,
I don't think you're a good advisor if you don't
know enough about it to talk to a client. So
and now, in their defense and my defense as well,

(40:35):
and I tell people sometimes I know enough to be dangerous,
but not enough to be correct. There's so many little
caveats in that social security that I didn't know about
that I learn when something happens. So, but we do
know where to send you to get all the information.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
And by the way, let's before we leave this thing
a divorce. Let's say you were married to a high
income person, a doctor or some big corporate guy, and
you know he's maxing out when he retires at social Security.
It's like going to be four or five thousand a
month if you divorced that person.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
And didn't get remarried.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
When you get full retirement age, you can still get
half of his if you've been married ten years or more,
or all of yours, whichever is higher. So sometimes if
you were a stay at home mom for most of
your adult life and he was making a gazillion dollars,
his half of soci.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
Security is going to be a lot more than you. Yeah,
so so keep that in mind.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
There's you know, it's kind of interesting, but there's a
benefit there that you may not.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
Hear a lot of people cohabitatt getting remarried. We're not
promoting that, but that just what happened.

Speaker 2 (41:46):
Thinking of gray divorce, gray seniors that are single don't
want to give up their all security. I mean, it's
almost I.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
Don't think that's right. Either. I wish they would change
that a little bit.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Yeah, I know, but it's funny.

Speaker 2 (41:59):
The older age group will say, yeah, we're living in
sand and then they'll bust out laughing.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
But again, it is funny.

Speaker 2 (42:06):
One how financial issues determine discussion and decisions, like making
a decision based on One of the things I don't
like sometimes is making a decision based on taxes. And
I'm like, Ali, I know, if you have a condu
at the beach for twenty years and you paid one
hundred thousand and now it's worth eight hundred and you're

(42:28):
afraid to sell it because you're paying capital gains and.

Speaker 3 (42:30):
Your Medicare Part B goes three years, it's all part
of it.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
It's almost like the government punishes people for success.

Speaker 3 (42:38):
You can't even communicate with them. You go, well, look,
this is just a one time thing and we're gonna
pay capital gains and it's over. No, doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
I know you're going to get your Medicaid premium, no way,
your Social Security check go way down.

Speaker 1 (42:50):
Yeah, yep, crazy, it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
So anyway, these are fantastic things to take think about
if divorce, have things to happen in your life and uh.
And by the way, this is recorded, as we said,
it's archives, so you can go back and listen to it.
And then next week we're going to talk about managing
expectations about every air of your life. We all have

(43:14):
these dreams. I think most people are dreamers and they
had they also dream about money and wind. You know,
just just real quick parenthetically, so fun. I met with
a client that's been with me like thirty years, and
we almost die laughing because back in the day, back
in twenty ten, he bought Navidia. In two thousand and

(43:36):
seven he bought Costco.

Speaker 3 (43:37):
Nobody was by and his Navidia holding is fifty percent
larger than his original old.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
IRA the whole account I mean, I mean that was
the grace of God again I mean, but anyway, it's
it's so amazing sometimes when something does happen, dreams are
like beyond coming true. But we're we're gonna have to
wrap up today's show. We can't wait to come back
next week and give you some input. So remember this
phone number nine one, nine eight five six nineteen sixty eight.

(44:09):
Give us a call right now. And remember it's your money,
it's your future.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Don't blow it.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
Advisory services through Capital Investment Advisory Services LLC. Security is
offered through Capital Investment Group, BINGK, Remember, Finra and Sipic
one thousand e six Forks Road, Raleigh, North Carolina nine
one nine eight three one twenty three seventy.

Speaker 3 (44:24):
HOST performance is not indicative of future results