Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
To this any character. That's nota way to introduce somebody on the show.
Say hello, is mister Zaney.Do you have a name? Sir?
Yeah, Dave? Hi, howare you good? Good? How's
it going with you? She completelyghosted me. Like, what I find
interesting is your first date. I'venever heard of a virtual date. You
(00:23):
met on match dot com? Yeah, we met on Match and then we
did like a virtual coffee date.Zoom. I wasn't dugging donuts. I
mean with you. I don't reallylike people that drink Starbucks. Right,
Dave, on a virtual date,what happens? Do you set the camera
up while you're shipping your coffee?And well, no, I was on
(00:45):
I was on my tablet. Youknow. She seems like a nice girl.
But I'm a little bit of abig guy, like a bear.
Yeah, yeah, kind of.But I'm not really tall, like I'm
only like five to four and Itwo hundred pounds, you know, So
okay, all right, all right, I'm a little bit on the haffy
side. But I've been doing jiujitsu for the last year and I've actually
(01:08):
lost forty seven pounds that in theyear. That's awesome. Good for you.
You're going to keep up the goodwork. Then yeah, yeah,
I love jiu jitsu. You know, it's hard of changed my life around
now, Okay, okay, God, Marie's on her ledge break. Honestly,
(01:30):
I think you're adorable. I loveyou. Bust my chop. No,
I think you're adorable. You're awesome. I just want to help you.
So yeah, now what happened?Where do you my call? Where?
Where? Hold on? Where didyou go for the second date?
I took her to this really niceItalian restaurant by me, very affluent place,
(01:52):
and she smelled very good. That'simportant, okay, And it was
a very expensive bill, and Ithought, you know, we kicked it
off great. She she ate,well she has that's good than a woman
who doesn't want to eat. Sheshe got the chicken to cote. The
next morning, I'm like, hey, I'm like, I had a great
time last night, just wondering,you know, like when, like what
(02:15):
am we going to see each otheragain? And I didn't get anything back,
and then I was worried. Ohmy god. I text her too
early, like stop stop stop stopstop stop. Okay, we understand,
we say, but but you dorealize that in normal, everyday the dating
life is things like this happen andyou just move on with your life.
(02:35):
She not returning your calls, she'snot she's not getting back to you with
the text. From what we understand, and just let it go. Move
on, man. I mean likeI kind of like her, like she's
beautiful. I know, I know, I know, but it didn't work.
Sweet day, Thank you. Iwish she would think that too.
Come on, you want to makethe call, tell me about it.
(02:59):
What's her name? The girl?The woman? Denise? Denise? Oh,
come on, but people that loveStarbucks shouldn't be hanging out with people
who like ducking donuts. You knowit started off on the wrong foot.
Here we go, let's agree withyou all. I hate people from Starbucks.
(03:25):
Hello, Hi there, how areyou. My name is Marie.
I'm calling from red Roses dot com. We are giving you a dozen long
stam Roses today, free of charge. Your name was choked. You know
what? No, no, no, I'm sorry, thank you very much,
but I'm just not interesting. Thankyou. Okay, stop she hung
up? She hung up. Okay, reposition everyone, and let's go.
(03:54):
I do not take solicitors calls.Stop. Okay, okay, but I
just hung up. She hung upagain, She hung up again. Okay,
we're gonna call one more time.David. Are you there. Yeah,
typical Starbucks person. Yeah, typicalpeople that are gonna dunkin donuts.
They don't act like this and takethree, take three. Okay, that's
(04:27):
it. I'm calling. Okay,hold on, hold on, Okay,
Listen to me, Listen to me. Don't hang up, don't hang up.
My name is Sean Hollywood Hamilton.I'm a radio personality in New York
City and O K to you.You're on something called War of the Roses.
It's a feature that we do onthis station. It's whatever. I
don't understand. Oh give me,give me one second, Give me one
second. You're not on the radio. But later on this afternoon, we're
(04:49):
gonna put you on the radio.If only you give us your consent.
We can't put you on the radio. We're gonna offer you an incentive.
Do you know a guy named Dave? Why? Well, because Dave gave
us a call here and wanted usto give you a call. In fact,
(05:10):
he's on the line, Dave.Do you want to say hi?
I don't know. I've been textingyou. I've been calling you, So
I figured, why not do that? Nothing to say to you. I
don't want to text with you ortalk to you. We tried to explain
that to him. We tried toexplain that to him. You've obviously you've
moved on, You've moved crazy.Why am I crazy? When situation Dave
(05:34):
is crazy? I went on twodates with you, and it was actually
three because we have the virtual one. Oh, the virtual one where I
had no idea you were is itis it my like? Like? Like?
Is it my height? My weight? Like? What is it like?
Why? Like? Like you completelychanged? Okay, well at least
(05:55):
for being honest, and but youcould have told me that to text or
or a phone call saying look exactlyexactly listen, I I it was.
I didn't. I didn't want tohurt your feelings. When I saw you
in person, and quite frankly,it pretty much just came up to my
chest. I kind of was just, how tall are you, Denise?
I'm five eight, okay, okay, so he's five four. So was
(06:21):
it his height that bothered you?No, you don't mind dating a man
that's shorter than you? Well notreally? Okay, that's great? Well,
was it his was it his weight? He's a little he's a little
happy. But no, Okay,well, well you are missing quite a
(06:45):
few teeth. That was a littlewhoa, whoa. I'm sorry, come
again. He must have had somepopped up veneers in his mouth during the
virtual dates. He had teeth,but when we met in person, I
couldn't. I just couldn't. Yeah, well, let me see if we
can get this straight. David,you have zero teeth in your mouth.
Let's no, it's not that Ihave zero teeth. I have back teeth.
(07:08):
So yes, on a virtual date, I did have to pop in
veneers, but I thought, youknow, let her let's see the real
me. I'm getting implants literally onWednesday. Okay, so like you could
have if you were a nice person, put in deal, Dave. I
am a nice person, but Icannot unsee what I saw. Dave,
(07:28):
What are you doing showing up toa date with no teeth? This is
a joke. My dog I havea little dog. My mom just passed
away, so I I inherited herdog, and the dog ate like the
fake poping veneers, I didn't havethem. And I don't want to cancel
the NA because I don't want tolike be your jerky. You're kidding me.
You can't even write this, likewhat waited for the Dennis to put
(07:55):
in your teeth? Can give thema shot? Can you give them another
shot? I taunted by the visionof a man eating spaghetti with no teeth.
It was coming all out of yourmouth, all right, bye bye
bye bye. Oh my god,I'm happy. I'm getting my teeth on
Wednesday. I don't care. Thengo on match dot com when you get
(08:16):
your new teeth. I gotta go.
To this any character. That's nota way to introduce somebody on the show.
Say hello, is mister Zaney.Do you have a name? Sir?
Yeah, Dave? Hi, howare you good? Good? How's
it going with you? She completelyghosted me. Like, what I find
interesting is your first date. I'venever heard of a virtual date. You
(00:23):
met on match dot com? Yeah, we met on Match and then we
did like a virtual coffee date.Zoom. I wasn't dugging donuts. I
mean with you. I don't reallylike people that drink Starbucks. Right,
Dave, on a virtual date,what happens? Do you set the camera
up while you're shipping your coffee?And well, no, I was on
(00:45):
I was on my tablet. Youknow. She seems like a nice girl.
But I'm a little bit of abig guy, like a bear.
Yeah, yeah, kind of.But I'm not really tall, like I'm
only like five to four and Itwo hundred pounds, you know, So
okay, all right, all right, I'm a little bit on the haffy
side. But I've been doing jiujitsu for the last year and I've actually
(01:08):
lost forty seven pounds that in theyear. That's awesome. Good for you.
You're going to keep up the goodwork. Then yeah, yeah,
I love jiu jitsu. You know, it's hard of changed my life around
now, Okay, okay, God, Marie's on her ledge break. Honestly,
(01:30):
I think you're adorable. I loveyou. Bust my chop. No,
I think you're adorable. You're awesome. I just want to help you.
So yeah, now what happened?Where do you my call? Where?
Where? Hold on? Where didyou go for the second date?
I took her to this really niceItalian restaurant by me, very affluent place,
(01:52):
and she smelled very good. That'simportant, okay, And it was
a very expensive bill, and Ithought, you know, we kicked it
off great. She she ate,well she has that's good than a woman
who doesn't want to eat. Sheshe got the chicken to cote. The
next morning, I'm like, hey, I'm like, I had a great
time last night, just wondering,you know, like when, like what
(02:15):
am we going to see each otheragain? And I didn't get anything back,
and then I was worried. Ohmy god. I text her too
early, like stop stop stop stopstop stop. Okay, we understand,
we say, but but you dorealize that in normal, everyday the dating
life is things like this happen andyou just move on with your life.
(02:35):
She not returning your calls, she'snot she's not getting back to you with
the text. From what we understand, and just let it go. Move
on, man. I mean likeI kind of like her, like she's
beautiful. I know, I know, I know, but it didn't work.
Sweet day, Thank you. Iwish she would think that too.
Come on, you want to makethe call, tell me about it.
(02:59):
What's her name? The girl?The woman? Denise? Denise? Oh,
come on, but people that loveStarbucks shouldn't be hanging out with people
who like ducking donuts. You knowit started off on the wrong foot.
Here we go, let's agree withyou all. I hate people from Starbucks.
(03:25):
Hello, Hi there, how areyou. My name is Marie.
I'm calling from red Roses dot com. We are giving you a dozen long
stam Roses today, free of charge. Your name was choked. You know
what? No, no, no, I'm sorry, thank you very much,
but I'm just not interesting. Thankyou. Okay, stop she hung
up? She hung up. Okay, reposition everyone, and let's go.
(03:54):
I do not take solicitors calls.Stop. Okay, okay, but I
just hung up. She hung upagain, She hung up again. Okay,
we're gonna call one more time.David. Are you there. Yeah,
typical Starbucks person. Yeah, typicalpeople that are gonna dunkin donuts.
They don't act like this and takethree, take three. Okay, that's
(04:27):
it. I'm calling. Okay,hold on, hold on, Okay,
Listen to me, Listen to me. Don't hang up, don't hang up.
My name is Sean Hollywood Hamilton.I'm a radio personality in New York
City and O K to you.You're on something called War of the Roses.
It's a feature that we do onthis station. It's whatever. I
don't understand. Oh give me,give me one second, Give me one
second. You're not on the radio. But later on this afternoon, we're
(04:49):
gonna put you on the radio.If only you give us your consent.
We can't put you on the radio. We're gonna offer you an incentive.
Do you know a guy named Dave? Why? Well, because Dave gave
us a call here and wanted usto give you a call. In fact,
(05:10):
he's on the line, Dave.Do you want to say hi?
I don't know. I've been textingyou. I've been calling you, So
I figured, why not do that? Nothing to say to you. I
don't want to text with you ortalk to you. We tried to explain
that to him. We tried toexplain that to him. You've obviously you've
moved on, You've moved crazy.Why am I crazy? When situation Dave
(05:34):
is crazy? I went on twodates with you, and it was actually
three because we have the virtual one. Oh, the virtual one where I
had no idea you were is itis it my like? Like? Like?
Is it my height? My weight? Like? What is it like?
Why? Like? Like you completelychanged? Okay, well at least
(05:55):
for being honest, and but youcould have told me that to text or
or a phone call saying look exactlyexactly listen, I I it was.
I didn't. I didn't want tohurt your feelings. When I saw you
in person, and quite frankly,it pretty much just came up to my
chest. I kind of was just, how tall are you, Denise?
I'm five eight, okay, okay, so he's five four. So was
(06:21):
it his height that bothered you?No, you don't mind dating a man
that's shorter than you? Well notreally? Okay, that's great? Well,
was it his was it his weight? He's a little he's a little
happy. But no, Okay,well, well you are missing quite a
(06:45):
few teeth. That was a littlewhoa, whoa. I'm sorry, come
again. He must have had somepopped up veneers in his mouth during the
virtual dates. He had teeth,but when we met in person, I
couldn't. I just couldn't. Yeah, well, let me see if we
can get this straight. David,you have zero teeth in your mouth.
Let's no, it's not that Ihave zero teeth. I have back teeth.
(07:08):
So yes, on a virtual date, I did have to pop in
veneers, but I thought, youknow, let her let's see the real
me. I'm getting implants literally onWednesday. Okay, so like you could
have if you were a nice person, put in deal, Dave. I
am a nice person, but Icannot unsee what I saw. Dave,
(07:28):
What are you doing showing up toa date with no teeth? This is
a joke. My dog I havea little dog. My mom just passed
away, so I I inherited herdog, and the dog ate like the
fake poping veneers, I didn't havethem. And I don't want to cancel
the NA because I don't want tolike be your jerky. You're kidding me.
You can't even write this, likewhat waited for the Dennis to put
(07:55):
in your teeth? Can give thema shot? Can you give them another
shot? I taunted by the visionof a man eating spaghetti with no teeth.
It was coming all out of yourmouth, all right, bye bye
bye bye. Oh my god,I'm happy. I'm getting my teeth on
Wednesday. I don't care. Thengo on match dot com when you get
(08:16):
your new teeth. I gotta go.
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