November 13, 2024 • 17 mins
Grief is felt by all, and rarely shared. For teens going through loss, Companions on a Journey has created specialized programs to help them through the process, give them coping skills and offer genuine concern and support.
At Moeller High School, a monthly youth grief group meets to give the all-boys school a place to express their loss and receive the comfort of each other.
Guests:
Ann Gundlach, Social Media & Marketing Coordinator
Companions on a Journey
Steve Joebgen, Campus Minister
Moeller High School
Leo, Max and Jordan
Moeller student grief support members
Click here to find grief support
At Moeller High School, a monthly youth grief group meets to give the all-boys school a place to express their loss and receive the comfort of each other.
Guests:
Ann Gundlach, Social Media & Marketing Coordinator
Companions on a Journey
Steve Joebgen, Campus Minister
Moeller High School
Leo, Max and Jordan
Moeller student grief support members
Click here to find grief support
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This week on iHeart Sinsey.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
So no one should feel burdened by feeling sad or
having trouble grieving someone they loved. They're irreplaceable.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
It's universal and so personal. Everyone feels it. It's grief,
an intense sorrow following a significant loss of a loved one.
It can be overwhelming, and a local nonprofits mission is
to provide the emotional support needed for those grieving. It's
Companions on a Journey, and today we're talking with three
teenagers at Muller High School who participate in the school's
(00:34):
youth grief group with Companions on a Journey. Will meet
their leader and a spokesperson for COJ about the nearly
seventy youth groups they support with monthly meetings at high
schools in the area, and where you can find help
dealing with loss.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Now on iHeart Sinsey with Sandy Collins.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
We're back for another week. Thanks for being here. Today,
I'm speaking with the social media and marketing coordinator for
Companions on a Journey Grief Support and gunlack Us, Steve Jobjin,
the campus minister at Archbishop Muller High School, and three
teenage boys in the school's youth grief group. They're sharing
their stories and reaching out to our listeners to offer
their support for kids and adults grieving the loss of
(01:13):
a loved one. Let's start with you.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Ann.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Companions on a Journey is a group that evolved out
of the loss of the founder's husband.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
You're talking about Sheila Monifo Canosa, who lost her husband
close to thirty years ago. I believe she had her
children were young, and she had trouble after that finding
grief support. There were grief groups available, but all the
other widows were much much older than her. She was
(01:45):
still in her late thirties, and she was struggling with
how to get out the door, how do I know
still get my job done and have an income and
raising these children alone. And so she ended up doing
a total life change and she left her job at
Practicing Gamble, and she became certified in grief support and
(02:09):
started a grief support group here that has grown to
we have ten monthly groups, different groups for different types
of loss. So we have, you know, parents who've lost
a child, those who've suffered a suicide, loss, widows, widowers,
that kind of thing. We have all kinds of groups.
And then her sons, who were at Muller High School
(02:32):
at the time, said Mom, you need to do for
the kids what you do for the grown ups, and
so they started our first group at Mueller. This school
year marks the twenty fifth year that we've had a
grief group at Muller High School and they are now
one of almost seventy schools that we run monthly grief group.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Then I spoke with Tony and Mike and Sheila on
a previous show. If you want to go back and
listen to their story, it's really good. It's on the
iHeartRadio app under podcasts. Just look for Sandy Collins when
you're in the app. But they were compelled because Sheila said,
my sons are hurting and I don't know how to
help them. Now they're both grown men and have their
own families. And now today we have the current a
(03:18):
couple of guys that are in the actually three guys
in the current groups from Mohler and so let's welcome
in Steve job Jin, who is the campus minister and
oversees the group. And then we have the three guys, Leo,
Jordan and Max. Thanks for being on this show about grief.
Steve how did you get involved at Mohler.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Yeah, so, Sandy, thanks for asking, Thanks for the invitation
to share a little bit about our story about the
great work going on in our school that's facilitated primarily
by coj. I mean, this wouldn't exist without Sheila and
Pat Buckley, another Muller mom. A little over ten years ago,
I was finishing grad school at University of Dayton, then
applying to jobs found Mohler, who was sponsored by the Marianists.
(04:02):
That's a religious order that also sponsors the University of
Dayton where I was at grad school, and the grief
group was actually what really sold me on Molar Personally,
I myself was a bereef teen. I lost my dad
when I was in second grade from just a heart attack.
He was fifty one years old, and my mother, with
no college education, became the breadwinner for myself and my
two older sisters. And that was a really challenging thing
(04:24):
to navigate for myself as a young man growing up
without a father to complicate things. When I was a
junior in high school, my next door neighbor, it was
a year younger than me, died of lung cancer. Despite
being a cross country runner and So my journey with
grief has been my journey of my whole life. It's
been my journey of faith, and it's been my journey
of my vocation. So when I found out that there
(04:45):
was a monthly bereavement support ministry at MOLAR, I just
thought that was It spoke volumes about what the school
values in terms of adolescent mental health, spiritual growth and development,
and especially community to see our younges guys growing in
bonds of brotherhood over a really tragic common experience. Sheila
actually starts out every one of our groups by saying,
(05:08):
I'm so sorry that you would have a reason to
be here, but we're so grateful that you've chosen to
be here. I really struggled with my faith after losing
my neighbor especially, but came into it more as an adult,
and so being able to share with these guys that
experience and to help them to wrestle with those questions
of where is God in this and what's most important
in my life? And how can I make meaning out
(05:30):
of such a tragic situation. That's the work I'm blessed
to do here.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
How many young people are in your group there at
Moeler Steve.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
We have over sixty guys on our roles right now
for our grief groups, So Pat and Sheila come in
once a month and we actually run two groups back
to back, and then during those groups we actually split
into two as well, so that we're in a more
manageable you know, ten to fifteen guys in each meeting room.
Because we have students who have experienced a variety of losses,
(06:04):
different different relationships, but also different types of loss. Students
who have lost family members and friends to suicide or
gun violence, and then students who have lost the grandparents
the natural causes, and then everywhere in between, so sudden
accidental loss and the whole, the whole gamut. You know,
we have a school of almost a thousand boys, and
(06:24):
in the teenage years is the most common time for
someone to experience their first loss, usually the grandparent, a
great aunt, or uncle, something along those lines. So we
know that our students are going to be encountering death
and in a very personal way, really often for the
first time during these years, which is why I'm so
grateful that Tony and Mike Monifo had had the wherewithal
to look at their at their brothers within these walls
(06:46):
and say I'm not the only person going through this.
It's just nobody's really talking about it. So let's let's
start talking.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Well, let's talk to your guys, Leo, Jordan and Max,
thanks guys for being here. How do you feel about
talking about this today on the radio?
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Missus Jordan?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
And it's pretty exciting you know that there's outside of Mold,
that there's people who are willing to talk about their
grief and how they deal with it in a way,
or how they would balance their grief in hopefully having
a certain life of happiness after.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
This is Max.
Speaker 6 (07:25):
I think it's really important that we talk about it
on platforms like this.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
We're in a really growing.
Speaker 6 (07:32):
Kind of time of team and especially men's mental health awareness,
and so getting the word out there on a bigger
platform I think is a really really good cause. This
is Leo.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
I also think it's really important to like just have
it being known that people struggle and it's okay to
not be okay, and we all have our own journeys.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
It's well said, guys, and I know that Steve will understand,
so will you.
Speaker 5 (07:57):
Anne.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
That the idea of boys and men showing emotion has
been getting better over the last ten, fifteen, twenty years,
even more as we realize that you don't have to
be a superhero. Everyone is human and it's important to
be able to express your grief. What is it like, guys? Well,
first of all, can you talk start with you Leo?
(08:19):
Can you talk about the reason and why you're in
the group. Is that okay?
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Yes, os Lea. In seventh grade, I lost my cousin,
and then in eighth grade my parents gard divorce, and
my freshman year, my dad was diagnosed with stage four
esophageo cancer. I would say I was really hesitant at
first to want to join grief group because my freshman
(08:46):
year I really just wanted to be angry at my
parents for getting a divorced still and I hadn't really
accepted that, but I knew like I had to forgive
them because my dad is like going through some thing top.
So I think mister j he offered me to join
grief group, and I thought I was really hesitating at first,
(09:08):
and I didn't really want to come. But when I came,
I was really glad, and I found the community was
very supportive and helped me a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
How about you, Jordan, So this is actually my first
year with Grief Group. I really was struggling throughout my
time here on Boulder. Joining sophomore junior year was definitely
that time because I just didn't know if a lot
of people around me were dealing with the same grief
as me. I've had a friend he committed suicide when
(09:39):
I was in the fifth grade, and then another friend
in the eighth grade going into our freshman year, he
died in his sleep. The circumstances of his death is
still in the air, so we're not sure what happened
with that. But that was definitely something that I struggled
with going into my freshman year, just having a group
around me to have deal with that same grief as me,
(10:01):
and this Grief Group has definitely It's definitely shown that
it's not only me that's dealing with grief, and it's everybody,
whether you're in the grief group or not, that people
are dealing with the same grief as you.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
How about you, Max?
Speaker 6 (10:19):
So I initially joined. I'm a senior and it's my
fourth year, so I've been a member all four years,
which has been great. But initially I joined so my aunt,
my mom's sister died really suddenly and tragically of a
congenital heart defect this summer before my freshman year, and
so I kind of was dealing with that leading up
and a little bit nervous to go into my freshman year.
(10:40):
And then I talked to mister Jojin about Grief Group
and ended up joining.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
And then my.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
Junior year, my grandpa passed away and I kind of
had a caretaker role for him in a way leading
up to his passing, and so that also brought up
a lot of complex emotions after.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Going through all of that. Yeah, I joined, and.
Speaker 6 (11:02):
Every year there's always new stuff and it's always just
such a great experience that we get.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
To be vulnerable in front of our classmates.
Speaker 6 (11:09):
It's nice to go in knowing that everyone kind of
has a lot of common ground and we can openly share.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, let's talk about that. Teenage years are so difficult
anyway to navigate because of all the changes and how
quickly you're growing up. What is it like to be
vulnerable in front of your male classmates. I'm sure there's
tears often that are shed and then you go back
to school the next day. Is there? Is it difficult?
Speaker 4 (11:39):
This is Leo. I think if I'm having a bad day,
I just feel like really down and like kind of heavy,
and I feel like I just need someone to talk to.
The grief group, especially like I feel like I'm not
burdening people by saying what I'm struggling with, and like
it really just lifts a weight off my chest to
(12:00):
like explain how I'm feeling and like what's like my
current like mood and stuff like that.
Speaker 6 (12:08):
Anybody else, I think this is Max by the way.
I think Mueller in general sets up a really good
environment for us to talk, Like we're a very close
knit family and everyone kind of has each other's back,
which is great. But I like how grief groups specifically
kind of structures it and so there's always activities and
(12:29):
they kind of have a way, especially that they're like
trained in what they're doing to get us to talk,
and like they know how to respond and they give
us coping mechanisms. So I like that I can talk,
but there's also some structure to it, and they also
give us like resources of what to do outside of
the grief group because it is only once a month
and so the rest of the time we have ways
(12:50):
that we know we can cope and.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Steve, it sounds like you've had to do a lot
of advocating for this group. You have to be pretty
clued into what's happening with these boys.
Speaker 5 (12:59):
Yeah, I'm just really grateful. We have such a strong
network here at MOLAR that provides the structure for students
to be able to share him to be identified. Every
student here has not just their classroom teachers that are
looking out for them, but we have a house system
that allows each student to have a mentor teacher that
they see every day who's not responsible for their grades.
(13:21):
Kind of like a classic home room, but it's the
goal is to really increase pastoral care. Our school of
over nine hundred and twenty boys is split up into
six houses. Each house has their own counselor, so one
counselor per one hundred and twenty one hundred and forty
kids is a really good ratio and it allows them
to have a lot of touch points with their students.
So between their mentor teacher, their counselor, and their house
(13:43):
dean in addition to all of their teachers, their coaches,
their club moderators. It's every week that I get an
email or someone who pops in my office in adult
in the building and says, hey, have you talked with
this guy? I just found out today that years ago
he lost somebody that he cares about, or a counselor
will reach out to me and say someone's dad is
(14:03):
in hospice right now, or grandparent. And then we also
run a report every week to run down a list
of students who have missed school due to a funeral.
So we have a lot of structures in place to
support to make sure that we're able to identify guys
pretty quickly.
Speaker 6 (14:18):
Guys.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
Still something cracks Jordan being one for those first three years,
and that just goes to show how great the need
is and how wonderful it is that COJ is so
committed and that our school administration is so committed to
making this happen.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
And to me, it sounds like they've taken your program
and they've run with it. You said you have nearly
seventy groups across this area that are active in high schools,
and I know you want to do more, and I
also know that people need to step up and help
make that happen. If we're you know, if we have
somebody here today who thinks this is a great program
for their school or someone who wants to help out.
(14:54):
How do we do that?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Well, it's easy. Our website is Companions on a Journey
dot org and anybody can contact us through there find
out more information. But you can also follow us on
social media. We're out there on all the normal channels.
We are going to be involved in Cincinnati Gives next month,
trying to raise some money over a dedicated ten day span.
(15:16):
That would be helpful if any chooses to give to that.
We always need businesses to support us. We have some
great ones who do so regularly.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
You know.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I loved how we heard mental health mentioned a couple
of times in this conversation, and I love I'm sure
we all love that there's been such an increase and
attention on Team mental Health, especially with anxiety, depression, increased
suicide rates. I'm telling you, grief is the unspoken, little
(15:49):
neglected area of mental health in children, and that's why
November is Child Grief Awareness Month, and it's a huge
thing to us. Mueller has an exemplary program that they
get so many boys in there. The rate in Ohio
is one in ten children will lose a parent or
(16:11):
a sibling by the time they're eighteen. That doesn't even
count the grandma's, grandpa's AND's uncle's, cousin's friends. Grief is universal,
and I think that's one because exactly gree person is
unique and unrepeatable. So every loss is a tragedy. So
no one should feel burdened by feeling sad or having
(16:34):
trouble grieving someone they loved. They're irreplaceable. So I'd love
that these boys are getting so much out of their group.
What they may not realize I think some of them do,
and I know Steve does the things that our COJ
facilitators do in these groups, the activities to get them talking,
(16:55):
to help them develop skills that helps them, not just
in grief, all kinds of problems they will encounter in life,
loss of job, financial insecurity, a career downturn, a divorce.
We don't know everything they're learning in their COJ group
is going to help them whether those storms as well.
(17:17):
And I hope more and more people, you know, support
companions on a journey for all the really wonderful work
they're doing for young people.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
If you've had a loss, whether it's last week or
you know, twenty five years ago. Whatever it is, Companions
on a Journey is definitely set up for you and
has a place for you to come and get support.
And thank you so much for being here, Steve, appreciate it.
And my guys at Mueller now my new three friends Leo,
Jordan and Max, thanks for being here today.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Thank you, We appreciate it.
This week on iHeart Sinsey.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
So no one should feel burdened by feeling sad or
having trouble grieving someone they loved. They're irreplaceable.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
It's universal and so personal. Everyone feels it. It's grief,
an intense sorrow following a significant loss of a loved one.
It can be overwhelming, and a local nonprofits mission is
to provide the emotional support needed for those grieving. It's
Companions on a Journey, and today we're talking with three
teenagers at Muller High School who participate in the school's
(00:34):
youth grief group with Companions on a Journey. Will meet
their leader and a spokesperson for COJ about the nearly
seventy youth groups they support with monthly meetings at high
schools in the area, and where you can find help
dealing with loss.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Now on iHeart Sinsey with Sandy Collins.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
We're back for another week. Thanks for being here. Today,
I'm speaking with the social media and marketing coordinator for
Companions on a Journey Grief Support and gunlack Us, Steve Jobjin,
the campus minister at Archbishop Muller High School, and three
teenage boys in the school's youth grief group. They're sharing
their stories and reaching out to our listeners to offer
their support for kids and adults grieving the loss of
(01:13):
a loved one. Let's start with you.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Ann.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Companions on a Journey is a group that evolved out
of the loss of the founder's husband.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
You're talking about Sheila Monifo Canosa, who lost her husband
close to thirty years ago. I believe she had her
children were young, and she had trouble after that finding
grief support. There were grief groups available, but all the
other widows were much much older than her. She was
(01:45):
still in her late thirties, and she was struggling with
how to get out the door, how do I know
still get my job done and have an income and
raising these children alone. And so she ended up doing
a total life change and she left her job at
Practicing Gamble, and she became certified in grief support and
(02:09):
started a grief support group here that has grown to
we have ten monthly groups, different groups for different types
of loss. So we have, you know, parents who've lost
a child, those who've suffered a suicide, loss, widows, widowers,
that kind of thing. We have all kinds of groups.
And then her sons, who were at Muller High School
(02:32):
at the time, said Mom, you need to do for
the kids what you do for the grown ups, and
so they started our first group at Mueller. This school
year marks the twenty fifth year that we've had a
grief group at Muller High School and they are now
one of almost seventy schools that we run monthly grief group.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Then I spoke with Tony and Mike and Sheila on
a previous show. If you want to go back and
listen to their story, it's really good. It's on the
iHeartRadio app under podcasts. Just look for Sandy Collins when
you're in the app. But they were compelled because Sheila said,
my sons are hurting and I don't know how to
help them. Now they're both grown men and have their
own families. And now today we have the current a
(03:18):
couple of guys that are in the actually three guys
in the current groups from Mohler and so let's welcome
in Steve job Jin, who is the campus minister and
oversees the group. And then we have the three guys, Leo,
Jordan and Max. Thanks for being on this show about grief.
Steve how did you get involved at Mohler.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
Yeah, so, Sandy, thanks for asking, Thanks for the invitation
to share a little bit about our story about the
great work going on in our school that's facilitated primarily
by coj. I mean, this wouldn't exist without Sheila and
Pat Buckley, another Muller mom. A little over ten years ago,
I was finishing grad school at University of Dayton, then
applying to jobs found Mohler, who was sponsored by the Marianists.
(04:02):
That's a religious order that also sponsors the University of
Dayton where I was at grad school, and the grief
group was actually what really sold me on Molar Personally,
I myself was a bereef teen. I lost my dad
when I was in second grade from just a heart attack.
He was fifty one years old, and my mother, with
no college education, became the breadwinner for myself and my
two older sisters. And that was a really challenging thing
(04:24):
to navigate for myself as a young man growing up
without a father to complicate things. When I was a
junior in high school, my next door neighbor, it was
a year younger than me, died of lung cancer. Despite
being a cross country runner and So my journey with
grief has been my journey of my whole life. It's
been my journey of faith, and it's been my journey
of my vocation. So when I found out that there
(04:45):
was a monthly bereavement support ministry at MOLAR, I just
thought that was It spoke volumes about what the school
values in terms of adolescent mental health, spiritual growth and development,
and especially community to see our younges guys growing in
bonds of brotherhood over a really tragic common experience. Sheila
actually starts out every one of our groups by saying,
(05:08):
I'm so sorry that you would have a reason to
be here, but we're so grateful that you've chosen to
be here. I really struggled with my faith after losing
my neighbor especially, but came into it more as an adult,
and so being able to share with these guys that
experience and to help them to wrestle with those questions
of where is God in this and what's most important
in my life? And how can I make meaning out
(05:30):
of such a tragic situation. That's the work I'm blessed
to do here.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
How many young people are in your group there at
Moeler Steve.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
We have over sixty guys on our roles right now
for our grief groups, So Pat and Sheila come in
once a month and we actually run two groups back
to back, and then during those groups we actually split
into two as well, so that we're in a more
manageable you know, ten to fifteen guys in each meeting room.
Because we have students who have experienced a variety of losses,
(06:04):
different different relationships, but also different types of loss. Students
who have lost family members and friends to suicide or
gun violence, and then students who have lost the grandparents
the natural causes, and then everywhere in between, so sudden
accidental loss and the whole, the whole gamut. You know,
we have a school of almost a thousand boys, and
(06:24):
in the teenage years is the most common time for
someone to experience their first loss, usually the grandparent, a
great aunt, or uncle, something along those lines. So we
know that our students are going to be encountering death
and in a very personal way, really often for the
first time during these years, which is why I'm so
grateful that Tony and Mike Monifo had had the wherewithal
to look at their at their brothers within these walls
(06:46):
and say I'm not the only person going through this.
It's just nobody's really talking about it. So let's let's
start talking.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Well, let's talk to your guys, Leo, Jordan and Max,
thanks guys for being here. How do you feel about
talking about this today on the radio?
Speaker 5 (07:02):
Missus Jordan?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
And it's pretty exciting you know that there's outside of Mold,
that there's people who are willing to talk about their
grief and how they deal with it in a way,
or how they would balance their grief in hopefully having
a certain life of happiness after.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
This is Max.
Speaker 6 (07:25):
I think it's really important that we talk about it
on platforms like this.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
We're in a really growing.
Speaker 6 (07:32):
Kind of time of team and especially men's mental health awareness,
and so getting the word out there on a bigger
platform I think is a really really good cause. This
is Leo.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
I also think it's really important to like just have
it being known that people struggle and it's okay to
not be okay, and we all have our own journeys.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
It's well said, guys, and I know that Steve will understand,
so will you.
Speaker 5 (07:57):
Anne.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
That the idea of boys and men showing emotion has
been getting better over the last ten, fifteen, twenty years,
even more as we realize that you don't have to
be a superhero. Everyone is human and it's important to
be able to express your grief. What is it like, guys? Well,
first of all, can you talk start with you Leo?
(08:19):
Can you talk about the reason and why you're in
the group. Is that okay?
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Yes, os Lea. In seventh grade, I lost my cousin,
and then in eighth grade my parents gard divorce, and
my freshman year, my dad was diagnosed with stage four
esophageo cancer. I would say I was really hesitant at
first to want to join grief group because my freshman
(08:46):
year I really just wanted to be angry at my
parents for getting a divorced still and I hadn't really
accepted that, but I knew like I had to forgive
them because my dad is like going through some thing top.
So I think mister j he offered me to join
grief group, and I thought I was really hesitating at first,
(09:08):
and I didn't really want to come. But when I came,
I was really glad, and I found the community was
very supportive and helped me a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
How about you, Jordan, So this is actually my first
year with Grief Group. I really was struggling throughout my
time here on Boulder. Joining sophomore junior year was definitely
that time because I just didn't know if a lot
of people around me were dealing with the same grief
as me. I've had a friend he committed suicide when
(09:39):
I was in the fifth grade, and then another friend
in the eighth grade going into our freshman year, he
died in his sleep. The circumstances of his death is
still in the air, so we're not sure what happened
with that. But that was definitely something that I struggled
with going into my freshman year, just having a group
around me to have deal with that same grief as me,
(10:01):
and this Grief Group has definitely It's definitely shown that
it's not only me that's dealing with grief, and it's everybody,
whether you're in the grief group or not, that people
are dealing with the same grief as you.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
How about you, Max?
Speaker 6 (10:19):
So I initially joined. I'm a senior and it's my
fourth year, so I've been a member all four years,
which has been great. But initially I joined so my aunt,
my mom's sister died really suddenly and tragically of a
congenital heart defect this summer before my freshman year, and
so I kind of was dealing with that leading up
and a little bit nervous to go into my freshman year.
(10:40):
And then I talked to mister Jojin about Grief Group
and ended up joining.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
And then my.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
Junior year, my grandpa passed away and I kind of
had a caretaker role for him in a way leading
up to his passing, and so that also brought up
a lot of complex emotions after.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Going through all of that. Yeah, I joined, and.
Speaker 6 (11:02):
Every year there's always new stuff and it's always just
such a great experience that we get.
Speaker 5 (11:06):
To be vulnerable in front of our classmates.
Speaker 6 (11:09):
It's nice to go in knowing that everyone kind of
has a lot of common ground and we can openly share.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Yeah, let's talk about that. Teenage years are so difficult
anyway to navigate because of all the changes and how
quickly you're growing up. What is it like to be
vulnerable in front of your male classmates. I'm sure there's
tears often that are shed and then you go back
to school the next day. Is there? Is it difficult?
Speaker 4 (11:39):
This is Leo. I think if I'm having a bad day,
I just feel like really down and like kind of heavy,
and I feel like I just need someone to talk to.
The grief group, especially like I feel like I'm not
burdening people by saying what I'm struggling with, and like
it really just lifts a weight off my chest to
(12:00):
like explain how I'm feeling and like what's like my
current like mood and stuff like that.
Speaker 6 (12:08):
Anybody else, I think this is Max by the way.
I think Mueller in general sets up a really good
environment for us to talk, Like we're a very close
knit family and everyone kind of has each other's back,
which is great. But I like how grief groups specifically
kind of structures it and so there's always activities and
(12:29):
they kind of have a way, especially that they're like
trained in what they're doing to get us to talk,
and like they know how to respond and they give
us coping mechanisms. So I like that I can talk,
but there's also some structure to it, and they also
give us like resources of what to do outside of
the grief group because it is only once a month
and so the rest of the time we have ways
(12:50):
that we know we can cope and.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Steve, it sounds like you've had to do a lot
of advocating for this group. You have to be pretty
clued into what's happening with these boys.
Speaker 5 (12:59):
Yeah, I'm just really grateful. We have such a strong
network here at MOLAR that provides the structure for students
to be able to share him to be identified. Every
student here has not just their classroom teachers that are
looking out for them, but we have a house system
that allows each student to have a mentor teacher that
they see every day who's not responsible for their grades.
(13:21):
Kind of like a classic home room, but it's the
goal is to really increase pastoral care. Our school of
over nine hundred and twenty boys is split up into
six houses. Each house has their own counselor, so one
counselor per one hundred and twenty one hundred and forty
kids is a really good ratio and it allows them
to have a lot of touch points with their students.
So between their mentor teacher, their counselor, and their house
(13:43):
dean in addition to all of their teachers, their coaches,
their club moderators. It's every week that I get an
email or someone who pops in my office in adult
in the building and says, hey, have you talked with
this guy? I just found out today that years ago
he lost somebody that he cares about, or a counselor
will reach out to me and say someone's dad is
(14:03):
in hospice right now, or grandparent. And then we also
run a report every week to run down a list
of students who have missed school due to a funeral.
So we have a lot of structures in place to
support to make sure that we're able to identify guys
pretty quickly.
Speaker 6 (14:18):
Guys.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
Still something cracks Jordan being one for those first three years,
and that just goes to show how great the need
is and how wonderful it is that COJ is so
committed and that our school administration is so committed to
making this happen.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
And to me, it sounds like they've taken your program
and they've run with it. You said you have nearly
seventy groups across this area that are active in high schools,
and I know you want to do more, and I
also know that people need to step up and help
make that happen. If we're you know, if we have
somebody here today who thinks this is a great program
for their school or someone who wants to help out.
(14:54):
How do we do that?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Well, it's easy. Our website is Companions on a Journey
dot org and anybody can contact us through there find
out more information. But you can also follow us on
social media. We're out there on all the normal channels.
We are going to be involved in Cincinnati Gives next month,
trying to raise some money over a dedicated ten day span.
(15:16):
That would be helpful if any chooses to give to that.
We always need businesses to support us. We have some
great ones who do so regularly.
Speaker 4 (15:27):
You know.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
I loved how we heard mental health mentioned a couple
of times in this conversation, and I love I'm sure
we all love that there's been such an increase and
attention on Team mental Health, especially with anxiety, depression, increased
suicide rates. I'm telling you, grief is the unspoken, little
(15:49):
neglected area of mental health in children, and that's why
November is Child Grief Awareness Month, and it's a huge
thing to us. Mueller has an exemplary program that they
get so many boys in there. The rate in Ohio
is one in ten children will lose a parent or
(16:11):
a sibling by the time they're eighteen. That doesn't even
count the grandma's, grandpa's AND's uncle's, cousin's friends. Grief is universal,
and I think that's one because exactly gree person is
unique and unrepeatable. So every loss is a tragedy. So
no one should feel burdened by feeling sad or having
(16:34):
trouble grieving someone they loved. They're irreplaceable. So I'd love
that these boys are getting so much out of their group.
What they may not realize I think some of them do,
and I know Steve does the things that our COJ
facilitators do in these groups, the activities to get them talking,
(16:55):
to help them develop skills that helps them, not just
in grief, all kinds of problems they will encounter in life,
loss of job, financial insecurity, a career downturn, a divorce.
We don't know everything they're learning in their COJ group
is going to help them whether those storms as well.
(17:17):
And I hope more and more people, you know, support
companions on a journey for all the really wonderful work
they're doing for young people.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
If you've had a loss, whether it's last week or
you know, twenty five years ago. Whatever it is, Companions
on a Journey is definitely set up for you and
has a place for you to come and get support.
And thank you so much for being here, Steve, appreciate it.
And my guys at Mueller now my new three friends Leo,
Jordan and Max, thanks for being here today.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Thank you, We appreciate it.
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