November 27, 2024 • 11 mins
My guest is Rebecca Zemmelman, an adoption attorney in Cincinnati, here to share important information about adoption and help those who want to be a parent.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This week on iHeart Cincy, adoption is a sign and
a form of love.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
We are wrapping up National Adoption Month. Then today's shows
zeros in on adoption for humans and in the.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Second half for babies.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
First, as an adoptive parent, I love talking about adoption
and bring today a local attorney, Rebecca Zemmelman, who practices
adoption law in Cincinnati. She's here to answer my questions
about adoption and share some of the resources available to
people who want to be a mom or dad.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Now on iHeart Cincy with Sandy Collins.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
My first guest is an attorney who practices adoption law
in Cincinnati, a perfect guest for National Adoption Month. Rebecca Zemmelman,
Welcome to iHeart Cincy. Tell us about your law practice
in Blue Ash and what you do.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
I practice in adoption mediation and family law in general,
and then I'm also a guardian Atlte. I'm for kiddos
in going through divorce and customary disputes.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Congratulations, you said you just became a new mom.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Yeah, it's actually about eight months ago tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Oh my goodness, Rebecca. From what I've gathered over my
few years in this world, I think Opinions on adoption
vary across the spectrum from it's great to it's a
terrible alternative, it's traumatic, it's beautiful, It goes everywhere. How
do you address adoption? How do you look at it?
(01:34):
And how would you characterize adoption?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Sure, yeah, and I have of course heard all of
that feedback too, but at least for my particular clients,
and I handle and manage private adoption. I finalize agency adoptions,
step parent adoptions, and then kinship adoptions when family members
are custodians typically, and then they end up adopting. And
(02:02):
what I see it as for the most part is
adoption has been a really beautiful, wonderful thing.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
So when I was a child, I saw children of
war on the TV news all the time, and they
would broadcast stories about them losing their parents in the war.
And I remember, as my ten year old self, thinking, well,
who's going to take care of those kids? Why would
people have their own children when so many others are
already here and they need homes. And I don't know
(02:31):
why I thought this at ten, but at that point
I just kind of knew I was going to adopt.
I didn't make a plan to it just felt right,
And of course I ended up adopting from a war
torn country, so you know, you get there in different ways,
and there are challenges on either side and they can
(02:55):
all be overcome and it can be a beautiful experience
and you just deal with the the difficult portions, like
for example, they open and closed adoptions concept. Everything's pretty
much open adoptions now, is that what I understand? Or
can you have a closed adoption?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
So actually, in the state of Ohio, there is really
no such thing as an open adoption, that at least
in a court order, which means that there can be
openness agreements, but all of those agreements are in good faith.
They have agreements and understandings kind of ahead of time
(03:32):
of what everybody's feelings are about the level.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Of contact down the road and some.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
You know, it's up to the adoptive parents and the
birth parents of what that contact looks like and what
everybody's comfortable with. And I have a meeting of the
minds of that is a really important step in the
matching process for these adoption agencies. And there's not anything
enforceable in a court order in Ohio to mandate basically
(04:02):
an adoptive family to have to allow the contact, and
then of course understanding that with all of the access
to testings such as through twenty three and me or
ancestry dot Com, that they probably will be able to
figure out who their birth family is. And it's just
the reality of the world in which we live, and
(04:25):
that can be a really beautiful thing, but can also
inhibit some privacy expectations of a biological parent, and so
kind of weighing those interests in those factors. But I
don't know statistically speaking about the level of openness versus closed.
My clients tend to say, you know, I will be
(04:46):
very open with this child as they grow about adoption
and the fact that they are adopted.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
There's tons, tons of.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Literature on how to talk to kiddos about the fact
that they were adopted and make them f loved in
every aspect of their lives, even at birth, and that
adoption is a sign and a form of love, and
so there are really good ways to handle that.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Are singles allowed to adopt or is it couples only
in Ohio? And can gay people adopt?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Great question, So a married couple can adopt, and also
a single person can adopt, and yes, because of the
Obergefel case, gay folks who are married can adopt.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Let's move on to the financial side. Is there text
benefits to adopting? Are there stipends that are available for
perhaps special needs children? What are the financial side of adoption?
And I know that we could talk for half an
hour on that, so let's just do the overview.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, So there is an adoption tax credit that lack
side checked, can be used over the matter of a
few years.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
It is a credit that adoptive families can apply for work.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I always, you know, suggest working with their accountant to
make sure that they're they're.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Getting the best benefit.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
And then in addition to that, the state of Ohio
there's an Ohio Adoption Grant that is in place for
adoptive families. Both of these, from the best of my knowledge,
the grant as well as the tax credit.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
There are some.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Income parameter consideration.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Federations, but those are two really helpful things.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, to help, yeah, for.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
My folks, to help offset the cost of the agency fees,
the attorneys fees, potentially birth parent expenses and court costs
of course that go.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Along with adoption.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I have a million more QUI questions for you, Rebecca,
just like a lot of people who are interested in adoption,
but it's best to do at that one on one.
I will ask one more question about cross cultural adoption.
For folks who are looking at adopting a child that's
not of your ethnicity, you can find a lot of
(07:20):
help and a lot of advice.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I guess I would.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Say on how to handle those kinds of situations because
in some cases it's very obvious, in other cases it's not.
Some people never have an issue at all, others have
some issues or maybe a lot. And I know that
that may or may not be a barrier for people
at wanting to adopt because there are so many children
available and not as many adoptive parents out there for
(07:45):
these kids. What are your thoughts on cross cultural kind
of an adoption and what do you tell people when
they decide, yes, we're going to do this.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
So I don't necessarily give specific advice to my folks
on you know, whether they should or should not, because
of course you know that is everybody's choice who and
whether they want to adopt and what that adoption looks
like for them, and they're growing family. But what I
(08:21):
will say is that it is a consideration the court
typically asks about in terms of the best interest factors
that the court considers in every finalization for adoption is
you know, what are you going to tell your kiddos?
And how how is this going to look? And in
some families those questions come a little bit sooner than others,
(08:46):
because if you don't look like what your parents look like,
then those questions come from whether it's peers or other
family members or other families in the community, and not
as necessarily to be rude or to you know, to
be insulting, but rather to just ask the question. And
(09:06):
so there are a lot of resources there are, there's
you know, literature just like on talking through adoption in general,
is talking through you know different all types of adoption
really and for any kiddo, and what the family looks
like and if the family you know looks different than
(09:27):
maybe you know what a family with a biological child
might look like. And it's as the term you used
obvious for lack of a better term, And how do
you handle those conversations at a young age to try
to get out in front of what comments people can make,
whether they're rude, ugly or totally innocent, and so having
(09:51):
that extra level of consideration of how do we talk
about this sooner and how do we support the child
with those questions and the looks or whatever whatever that
looks like, is really an important consideration when going through
this process.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
These are the barriers that I found that people didn't
want to adopt, and if you can just get past
these things that there are answers for financially, culturally.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
The biggest concern, the biggest piece of all of this
is the safety and security of the children. And so
getting out in front of conversations that are hard, or
getting out ahead of rude comments or just comments. I
think it's part of our job as parents and guardians
and adults caring for children. And so that is absolutely
(10:45):
one of those conversations that I think have to be
had in this world with people who will just say anything,
and so that helps to protect these children, and that's
what we strive for.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
At the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's National Adoptions Here in November, we were wrapping up
with Rebecca Zemmelman. She's a practicing attorney here in Cincinnati
in adoption and other family affairs. Anything that you want
to pass along Before we go.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I'll mention my law firms.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
So I'm a partner at the Family Law and Fertility
Law Group. We hand all most family law matters as
well as adoption and then surrogacy matters as well, so
we are helping to serve the community in that way.
So I would just mention that all right.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
That website is Family and Fertilitylaw dot com. You can
google her name, Rebecca Zemmeleman with two MS. Rebecca, thanks
so much for your time. I appreciate what you do
and the time you spend here today.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Thank you, Sandy, and thank you for sharing your story too.
This week on iHeart Cincy, adoption is a sign and
a form of love.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
We are wrapping up National Adoption Month. Then today's shows
zeros in on adoption for humans and in the.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Second half for babies.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
First, as an adoptive parent, I love talking about adoption
and bring today a local attorney, Rebecca Zemmelman, who practices
adoption law in Cincinnati. She's here to answer my questions
about adoption and share some of the resources available to
people who want to be a mom or dad.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Now on iHeart Cincy with Sandy Collins.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
My first guest is an attorney who practices adoption law
in Cincinnati, a perfect guest for National Adoption Month. Rebecca Zemmelman,
Welcome to iHeart Cincy. Tell us about your law practice
in Blue Ash and what you do.
Speaker 3 (00:49):
I practice in adoption mediation and family law in general,
and then I'm also a guardian Atlte. I'm for kiddos
in going through divorce and customary disputes.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Congratulations, you said you just became a new mom.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Yeah, it's actually about eight months ago tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Oh my goodness, Rebecca. From what I've gathered over my
few years in this world, I think Opinions on adoption
vary across the spectrum from it's great to it's a
terrible alternative, it's traumatic, it's beautiful, It goes everywhere. How
do you address adoption? How do you look at it?
(01:34):
And how would you characterize adoption?
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Sure, yeah, and I have of course heard all of
that feedback too, but at least for my particular clients,
and I handle and manage private adoption. I finalize agency adoptions,
step parent adoptions, and then kinship adoptions when family members
are custodians typically, and then they end up adopting. And
(02:02):
what I see it as for the most part is
adoption has been a really beautiful, wonderful thing.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
So when I was a child, I saw children of
war on the TV news all the time, and they
would broadcast stories about them losing their parents in the war.
And I remember, as my ten year old self, thinking, well,
who's going to take care of those kids? Why would
people have their own children when so many others are
already here and they need homes. And I don't know
(02:31):
why I thought this at ten, but at that point
I just kind of knew I was going to adopt.
I didn't make a plan to it just felt right,
And of course I ended up adopting from a war
torn country, so you know, you get there in different ways,
and there are challenges on either side and they can
(02:55):
all be overcome and it can be a beautiful experience
and you just deal with the the difficult portions, like
for example, they open and closed adoptions concept. Everything's pretty
much open adoptions now, is that what I understand? Or
can you have a closed adoption?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
So actually, in the state of Ohio, there is really
no such thing as an open adoption, that at least
in a court order, which means that there can be
openness agreements, but all of those agreements are in good faith.
They have agreements and understandings kind of ahead of time
(03:32):
of what everybody's feelings are about the level.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Of contact down the road and some.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
You know, it's up to the adoptive parents and the
birth parents of what that contact looks like and what
everybody's comfortable with. And I have a meeting of the
minds of that is a really important step in the
matching process for these adoption agencies. And there's not anything
enforceable in a court order in Ohio to mandate basically
(04:02):
an adoptive family to have to allow the contact, and
then of course understanding that with all of the access
to testings such as through twenty three and me or
ancestry dot Com, that they probably will be able to
figure out who their birth family is. And it's just
the reality of the world in which we live, and
(04:25):
that can be a really beautiful thing, but can also
inhibit some privacy expectations of a biological parent, and so
kind of weighing those interests in those factors. But I
don't know statistically speaking about the level of openness versus closed.
My clients tend to say, you know, I will be
(04:46):
very open with this child as they grow about adoption
and the fact that they are adopted.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
There's tons, tons of.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Literature on how to talk to kiddos about the fact
that they were adopted and make them f loved in
every aspect of their lives, even at birth, and that
adoption is a sign and a form of love, and
so there are really good ways to handle that.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Right.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Are singles allowed to adopt or is it couples only
in Ohio? And can gay people adopt?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Great question, So a married couple can adopt, and also
a single person can adopt, and yes, because of the
Obergefel case, gay folks who are married can adopt.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Let's move on to the financial side. Is there text
benefits to adopting? Are there stipends that are available for
perhaps special needs children? What are the financial side of adoption?
And I know that we could talk for half an
hour on that, so let's just do the overview.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, So there is an adoption tax credit that lack
side checked, can be used over the matter of a
few years.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
It is a credit that adoptive families can apply for work.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I always, you know, suggest working with their accountant to
make sure that they're they're.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Getting the best benefit.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
And then in addition to that, the state of Ohio
there's an Ohio Adoption Grant that is in place for
adoptive families. Both of these, from the best of my knowledge,
the grant as well as the tax credit.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
There are some.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Income parameter consideration.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Federations, but those are two really helpful things.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, to help, yeah, for.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
My folks, to help offset the cost of the agency fees,
the attorneys fees, potentially birth parent expenses and court costs
of course that go.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Along with adoption.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I have a million more QUI questions for you, Rebecca,
just like a lot of people who are interested in adoption,
but it's best to do at that one on one.
I will ask one more question about cross cultural adoption.
For folks who are looking at adopting a child that's
not of your ethnicity, you can find a lot of
(07:20):
help and a lot of advice.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
I guess I would.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Say on how to handle those kinds of situations because
in some cases it's very obvious, in other cases it's not.
Some people never have an issue at all, others have
some issues or maybe a lot. And I know that
that may or may not be a barrier for people
at wanting to adopt because there are so many children
available and not as many adoptive parents out there for
(07:45):
these kids. What are your thoughts on cross cultural kind
of an adoption and what do you tell people when
they decide, yes, we're going to do this.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
So I don't necessarily give specific advice to my folks
on you know, whether they should or should not, because
of course you know that is everybody's choice who and
whether they want to adopt and what that adoption looks
like for them, and they're growing family. But what I
(08:21):
will say is that it is a consideration the court
typically asks about in terms of the best interest factors
that the court considers in every finalization for adoption is
you know, what are you going to tell your kiddos?
And how how is this going to look? And in
some families those questions come a little bit sooner than others,
(08:46):
because if you don't look like what your parents look like,
then those questions come from whether it's peers or other
family members or other families in the community, and not
as necessarily to be rude or to you know, to
be insulting, but rather to just ask the question. And
(09:06):
so there are a lot of resources there are, there's
you know, literature just like on talking through adoption in general,
is talking through you know different all types of adoption
really and for any kiddo, and what the family looks
like and if the family you know looks different than
(09:27):
maybe you know what a family with a biological child
might look like. And it's as the term you used
obvious for lack of a better term, And how do
you handle those conversations at a young age to try
to get out in front of what comments people can make,
whether they're rude, ugly or totally innocent, and so having
(09:51):
that extra level of consideration of how do we talk
about this sooner and how do we support the child
with those questions and the looks or whatever whatever that
looks like, is really an important consideration when going through
this process.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
These are the barriers that I found that people didn't
want to adopt, and if you can just get past
these things that there are answers for financially, culturally.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
The biggest concern, the biggest piece of all of this
is the safety and security of the children. And so
getting out in front of conversations that are hard, or
getting out ahead of rude comments or just comments. I
think it's part of our job as parents and guardians
and adults caring for children. And so that is absolutely
(10:45):
one of those conversations that I think have to be
had in this world with people who will just say anything,
and so that helps to protect these children, and that's
what we strive for.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
At the end of the day.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
It's National Adoptions Here in November, we were wrapping up
with Rebecca Zemmelman. She's a practicing attorney here in Cincinnati
in adoption and other family affairs. Anything that you want
to pass along Before we go.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I'll mention my law firms.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
So I'm a partner at the Family Law and Fertility
Law Group. We hand all most family law matters as
well as adoption and then surrogacy matters as well, so
we are helping to serve the community in that way.
So I would just mention that all right.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
That website is Family and Fertilitylaw dot com. You can
google her name, Rebecca Zemmeleman with two MS. Rebecca, thanks
so much for your time. I appreciate what you do
and the time you spend here today.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Thank you, Sandy, and thank you for sharing your story too.
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