July 30, 2025 • 34 mins
Nick talks about car dealerships, taco bell, and has a conversation with comedian Pat McGann
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
I still speaking that that should not have made it
to the rest of us. This is inside Thoughts. Let's
get to.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Check check check one, two three. We're live, Betty.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Thanks for pressing play listening Inside Thoughts. I got a
cool interview for you at the end of the podcast
with comedian Pat McGahn. Got to talk to him a
few few days ago, and uh, he was a super
cool guy. Started stand up a little bit late and
I ended up killing it and now he's he's doing good.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
So got that coming up for you. Sorry, the podcast
is a day late.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I uh, I had to wait and just kind of
like talk myself out of being angry. It would have
been a mad podcast if I had done it yesterday.
So I had to go get my car fixed. And
first of all, your car always knows when you just
have like a little bit of extra money.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
It's like, oh, you want to go do that thing? No, no, no,
buddy fixed.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Me every time. So a few days ago, me and
Aims are driving home. You know, it's about to get
dark here in Indy. The sun doesn't go way till
like ten o'clock at night, so I hadn't been noticing it,
but we were driving back from a concert and like
my headlights weren't working. I was like, okay, this is
(01:25):
super dangerous. By the time we got home, it was
like super dark, and I understand why we have headlights now.
It's it's tough to see. So I was like, okay,
I get these fixed, and I like had tried to.
One of the headlights was going like in and out,
so I tried to get them fixed. Like earlier, anytime
I go like get an oil change or something like
(01:47):
that on the car, this has been going on for
a couple months. I'd be like, hey, can you guys
swap out my headlights? And they'd be like, oh, yeah,
we can try, but like the way your car is built,
we have to like take a bunch of things apart
and to get to the white.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Do you want us to do that?
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm like no, So I'm only paying you guys like
forty bucks give me an oil change.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I don't want you messing up my car.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
So I take it to the dealership and I'm thinking,
I just need like my headlights done. This is gonna
be like a three hundred dollars thing, right, So the
like I dropped my car off and tell him what's
wrong with it. I was like, need some new headlights,
blah blah blah. They're like, Okay, I'm driving in an
uber to get to work in the morning. And the
(02:33):
guy calls me like ten minutes after I dropped it off.
He goes, oh, it was just Nick Jordan. I was
like yeah. He goes, oh, yeah, you just dropped off
your your car, right, and I go yeah, I just
talked to you ten minutes ago. He goes, oh yeah,
Just let me go ahead and write down what's wrong
with you?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
What do you need fixed?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
And I was like, bro, I just told you so
already we're not off to a great start, but I
have to take this thing into the dealership since the
only place that can, you know, fix my car without
fucking up the white fatime warranty that I supposedly have
on this car. When I got the car, the guy
was like, the guy's selling it to me, which I know,
I'm stupid. I felt for this, but he's like, Hey,
(03:10):
for an extra whatever many dollars, we can give you
the lifetime warranty on the car. So you're just good.
Bring it into any Dodge dealership and they'll fix it
up for you.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
You know. You pay deductible. It's just like going to
the doctor.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I was like, yeah, got insurance, you know, sounds sounds right.
You know, everything on the car is mostly pretty expensive,
so why not.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
So flashback like a year ago.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
I needed to get new tires because one of them
was one of them was flat. So I take it
to the Dodge dealership and I'm like, hey, you guys
want to cut me a deal lifetime warranty. They go, oh, no,
we don't cover tires. And I was like, what do
you cover? They're like everything on the car? And I go,
where are the tires on the car? Then cover the tires? No,
we don't cover the tires. I was like, what does
(03:55):
this say?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Cover it? Better cover the engine and the transmissions. If
that what ever goes.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Out, WHOA, I'm gonna be running up in a building,
my boy, I promise you, because every time I try
and take this thing in, I'm like, yeah, I got
the wifetime warranty.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
You guys can fix this for me for a deal, right,
They go, Nope, you gotta pay full price.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I go, what did I pay that extra money for? Well,
for being a dumb ass. Yeah, I figured that. I
figured that.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
So I'm already I'm like, already not happy anytime I
got to go into a dealership because they talk to
me like I'm stupid, and I am stupid, but I
don't like being talked to like that. Right, So I'm already,
you know, getting angry. This guy's calling me asking me,
you know, what's wrong with the car. After I just
talked to him for ten minutes, I was like, dude,
fix the headlights. He was like okay.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
He's like, yeah, well, we'll sess it.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
We'll plug into the car's computer and run some tests,
just you know, double chuck, make sure nothing else is
wrong with it, and then we'll send you a text
with the estimate and everything.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I was like, okay, cool. So I'm at work, I'm
doing whatever I gotta do.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
I get a text and I open it up and
it says that the headlights are gonna cost five hundred dollars.
So I called this guy up and I was like, hey, bro,
five hundred dollars for headlights, Like, I just need you
to put some light bulbs in the front of my
car so I can see. I don't need, you know,
the super duper led lights that every fucker that drives
(05:21):
behind me has right, and he goes, yeah, sorry, dude,
your car the only lights made for it are the
super duper led ones that every fucker that drives behind
you have. So we got to put that in there.
And I'm like, okay, do it. You know, like, now
I'm gonna have the lights that are super expensive and
(05:44):
I get to burn off people's retinas because I want
to be able to see a deer coming from next Tuesday,
you know what I mean. So I was like, all right, whatever,
it's two hundred dollars more expensive than I thought it
was gonna be, but yeah, fix the headlights.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Whatever.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
So I go get my car and uh I go.
I walk in same guy I've talked to four times now,
and I'm like, hey, what's going on, bro, I'm picking
up my car.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
He goes, Oh, what's your name? What color of car
you have? I was like, I know, you get a
lot of people in here, but try to have a
little bit of customer service, bro.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
So I was like, yeah, this is my car, can
you go get it. He's like, oh, yeah, no problem
and then pulls the car up, hands me. The billy goes, yeah,
that's gonna be seven hundred dollars and I go what.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I go? I thought you said it was gonna be
five hundred for the headwlights.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
He goes yeah, but we gotta put Weber in there,
and we had to run a diagnostic check on it.
You said the diagnostic check was free. He goes, oh yeah,
but that was a different one. We decided to do
the different one that costs money.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Was ah.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
So I was like, all right, whatever, seven hundred dollars, sure,
But now I have the head whites fix and he goes,
oh yeah, by the way, uh, you might want to
get that other head white fixed because it's gonna go
out soon. I go, what do you mean the other
Do I have a third headlight like under the balls
of my car that I don't know about. He goes, no,
we just fixed one headlight.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
And I go, seven hundred dollars for one headlight. Ooh,
I'm so glad I did not have a gun.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Bro.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
I was like, see, this is why I didn't do
the podcast yesterday. This is exactly why I didn't do
the podcast yesterday because I was like this but more,
and you would have turned it off because you're like,
I don't need this kind of negativity in my wife.
Wife's expensive I have my own problems. I don't want
to listen to somebody bitch like this.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I get it. This is me coming down a little bit.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Like Amy texts me all the way home like everything right, love,
and I was just like, I'll see you when I
get home because I need I need this thirty minute
drive home to just not I don't want to take
my day out on you. I can't talk right now.
I was like, what do you mean you only fixed
one headlight? And he was like, well, yeah, you know,
the one headlight's five five hundred bucks a piece. I
(07:51):
go this light bulb that goes in the front of
my car costs five hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Does this have anything to do with tariffs?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Oh? I was so pissed, dude, But now you know
I'm not dropping fourteen hundred dollars on fucking white balls
that go in the front of my car. So I
you know, I'm driving around with one headlight right now.
I hope the other one hangs on for dear wife
a little bit longer, because I know as soon as
I drive at night, some dickhead cops gonna pull me
(08:23):
over and be like Uh, so you know why I
pulled you over right now, Sarah?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Why oh you only got one head white out? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Sorry about that. Man, I'm kind of short on money
right now. Well, you know what's gonna help you out
with paying for a new headlight. What if I'd write
you a three hundred dollars ticket for not having two
headlights and then you can pay that all first before
you get the new headlight.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Pictures, where does it end? Man, the greed? Where does
it end?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Five hundred dollars for a white ball that goes into
the front of my car? I hope I blind somebody.
Now I better be able to see into the future
with this thing. Dude, all right, calm down, calm down.
This is why we didn't do the podcast yesterday because
it would have been worse. Okay, we're doing it today.
We're being better. We've calmed down the heart rate.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
It's allow up. I need you to bring it down.
Did you hear that deep breath? And now we're centered,
we're back.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Yes, it's giving chill.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
It's giving chill. You're chill coded right now.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
So stupid, like dude, whoever I would we I said
that to the person the other day like when I
was at the dealership, I was like, you mean to
tell me that this headlight costs one headlight costs five
hundred fucking dollars And he goes yeah. I go, there's
no other headlight you can give me. He goes, Nope,
that's how they made it. I go, whoever made that's
a fucking asshole. He goes, yeah, he didn't care. He
(09:48):
was getting his money. He already fixed it. He was
gonna hold my car. It's frustrating, but it's whatever.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Man.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
I just needed a day to calm down, needed to
just chill out and relax. But now you know, I
got one Stevie wonder Maker in the front of my car.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So that's that's good. It's just money. You can make more.
It's fine.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
It's just like annoying when you like spend that much
money on something that like, you can't enjoy. It's not
like I was going to a concert or like a
football game or anything fun, like drinking seven hundred dollars
worth of beer that had been cool. When when you
got to pay for something that's just not fun, you
(10:33):
start adding up, like all the hours you've worked to
make that much money, and you're like, okay, okay, we'll
get back, We'll get back.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
So what else is going on in the news? Have
you seen this? Have you heard of this?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
I need to calm down, dude. I've been, uh been
on social media today because that's what you do when
you need to calm down.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
I gotta be honest.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
The amount of people I see falling for like AI
or just straight up like sentel, fake posts, the people
that fall victim to it, it's just sad. I'm like,
you didn't do any research before, like you did your
whole Facebook rant on why this is the dumbest thing
you've ever seen.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Hey, guess what, it's not real, Like it's it's tough.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Hey, I robots there, We're mincemeat, buddy. They're gonna beat
us so bad. It's tough.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
And I'm I'm mad.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
I feel like I've missed, like my my viral moment,
like my moment to you know, get to be doing
stand up all over the country because people know me
as this guy that did this thing, because like you know,
if you've ever seen me like do stand up like
a longer set, I have this joke about how I
(11:57):
hate robots and and I drop a robotic slur in there.
I call him spark Pluggers, and you know, people enjoy
the joke.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
It's nice.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
I posted on social media. You know it did it
did good on TikTok, nowhere else. And now I'm seeing,
like the trend now is everybody. I see so many
people going viral talking about how much they hate robots,
and they're dropping robotic slurs. They're calling them clankers, which
is from Futurama. It's not even original. And all these
(12:32):
people are going viral and everybody's like, yeah, you hate robots.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
And I was like, I hated them first. Man.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
I miss my my my viral moment. I was like, damn, dude,
I could have I could have been the I hate
robots guy, you know how like Hannibal Burris was the
guy that got Bill Cosby arrested.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Kind of, I don't be like that.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
But with robots, Hey, Nick, Hannibal was already good at
what he did before that happened. Yeah, hey, listen, we
don't need to talk about the details. I'm just saying I.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Feel like I was robbed of my moment. Okay, It's
all right.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
It happens if you hate well enough and long enough,
it'll pay off, all right.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
But seriously, robots.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I keep seeing like the robots in like the Walmarts
and Kroger, and they're they're already here in like the
big cities. They just have like this robot like scooting around.
It's like a Star Wars looking robot, just scooting around
saying like, we have.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
These deals that you can get, would you like a coupon?
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Or some of them are mopping the floors. I wonder
if they're go in shifts, like the Walmart manager watching
at the beginning of the day. It's like, all right, Tina,
you're on the cast register. Ben, you're at the deli.
Robot one, you're mopping the forest today. Fuck Robot two,
(14:00):
you're handing out coupon's. All right, well, why does robot
one get to do that? Well, because you did it yesterday. Okay,
everything's fair. And now they're just plotting on how to
kill Jeff the chef manager. I'm just saying, we're already
falling for ai posts and robots.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Are in the walmarts. They're coming.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
At first it's the oos and the o's, then it's
the running and the screaming. All right, I need something happy,
need need something happy, been talking about car has been
talked about robots, all these spark pluggers getting on my nerves.
Oh me and Ames, Uh, we saved the hummingbird last week.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
She uh.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
She came to the office while I was working because
she works remote and if we have to go to
a concert, like right after work, I can't go up
to the burbs to come get her. I don't want
her to have to get ubers. So she works here.
So we're taking a break at lunch. We're sitting outside
of the office and we're just like eating talking. All
(15:10):
of a sudden, I see like this like little green
thing fall down behind her, and then these two other
little finch birds like start going crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
I looked. I was like, what the hell was that.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
It was a little hummingbird. It was so hot, like
this heat waves been going on.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
It was so hot.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
This hummingbird just like collapsed from heat exhaustion. So these
other two birds saw it and they were trying to
eat it. So I walked over like knocked those birds away,
picked up the little hummingbird and put them in like
a potted plant that was outside in this area that
we were eating lunch.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
At and I thought he was dead dude.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Like his wings were like spread out and he went
like lifting up his head, but like he was still,
like you could see him breathing. So I was like,
all right, I'll put him in here, give him a
little bit of water or whatever. We gave him, like
some sugar water. It's a little tongue like popped out,
and he was having it. I was like, all right,
see you, buddy, I gotta go back to work. Wash
my hands because birds, birds are dirty.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
The birds. You don't get him, pet smarter dirty, don't
touch him.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
So like hoping he was gonna be okay, And then
we came in and it started just pissing down rain,
so I got nervous. I was like, oh fuck, did
I put that bird in a like a leaf that's
gonna end up being like a cup. And I just
drowned this thing, which is I don't know, on a
list of ways to go, drowning is probably not as
(16:34):
bad as heat, exhaustion and being eaten, but it still sucks.
So like after it stopped raining a little bit, went
back outside to check on it, and this thing he
was like, you know, he stood up. He was perched
on a on a branch and he was like sleeping
because you know, he had to regain his energy. But
he was up and I was like, okay, cool. And
(16:56):
then me and Amesa had walked down to this concert afterward,
so we checked on him again. He was like up,
you know, still like moving a little slow, but he
was all good. And then after the concert we walked
back check on him again and he was gone.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
So we just like to.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Imagine that he flew away back to his hummingbird familymes.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Ames was cracking me out.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
We were walking back from the concert after we checked
on the bird, and she was like, you know what
happened after that bird left and went home right? And
I was like, no, what happened? She was like, he
went home and he was talking to his wife. He's like, hey, babe,
I didn't want to worry you, so I didn't bring
(17:40):
this up in front of the kids. But like I
almost died today.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
She's like, what what happened.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
It's like it was too hot, I got too far
away from any water, and uh yeah, I got jumped
and these humans they picked me up and they put
me so it's I'm safe. But I just want to
I want to let you know, like a really I
love you, I love the kids, but it's okay now.
And I was like, yeah, Ames, that's beautiful. And then
(18:06):
she was like and you know, right after she said that,
the wife was like.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Okay, you're never going downtown again.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Well yeah, we uh saved the bird. So that was fun.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
That was the happy, happy moment of the week that
did not involve machinery.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
What else. It's kind of happy. Oh Taco Bell.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I got excited because Taco Bell announced they were coming
out with like a new cheap like value menu. They're
like lux menu where everything's three bucks. And I was like, okay,
Taco Bell's getting back to their roots, because Taco Bell
used to be like, if you were hungry and you
were broke, Taco Bell was always there for you. You
(18:53):
go get a burrito for eighty nine cents, you go
get a bunch of food. If you had five dollars,
you could feast like a can eating a Taco Bell.
And then somewhere along the way, after they went a
little too crazy with putting Doritos and everything, they start
jacking the prices up. They're like, you know what, fuck
these poor people, we can make money off of them too.
They'll still come here. We have doritos in our food.
(19:15):
Who else is doing that? They'll come here. So now
you go to Taco Bell and it costs like twenty
bucks to get two tacos.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
You're like, what happened? What happened to the game? I love? Man?
Speaker 3 (19:24):
So I'm looking at this lux menu that they got.
Every item on it is three dollars. The dollar menu
is three dollars. Now it's not like, oh yeah, you
can get a meal for three dollars. Every item on
the menu is three dollars. I'm gonna end up talking
(19:45):
to my grandkids. Sounded like a crazy person reminiscing on
the days when I could afford to eat a Taco Bell.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Well, back in my day, you could get Taco Bell
for seventy nine cents. And they'll be like, shut up, Grandpa,
that's it's not real.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
It's like when your grandparents used to tell you a
candy bar was a nickel. He'd be like, yeah, okay, dude,
back in the old folks home.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Taco Bell's lost their way, bro, it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
All right, let's get to your headline of the week
and then we'll get into this interview with comedian Pat MCCAMMB.
The federal government will now accept Venmo payments from citizens
who want to help pay off the national debt. The
Treasury's begun accepting Vemo transactions as contributions towards the national debt,
(20:34):
which currently stands at thirty six trillion dollars. The absolute
balls to ask citizens for Venmo payments, Like we just
went out to dinner or we went on vacation, and
it's like, hey, yeah, we'll split I'll get this right now,
we'll split it up after just vemo me. Okay, that's
what the government's doing to us. I thought I was
(20:55):
already helping pay off the national debt. What are taxes for?
You're already taking my money. I see how much you take.
Could have used that to buy two fucking headwlights.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
For my car.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Well, if you, if you feel like a true patriot,
you can send us a little extra bullar. Buddy, No, dude,
don't do that. I know there's stupid people that are
doing that too. Like, if you learn anything from listening
to this podcast, it's just don't be dumber than me.
If you can do that, you will have a solid life.
(21:30):
Don't be dumber than me and you'll be okay. Do
not send the federal government Venmo money to help pay
off a debt that's never getting paid off?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Well, what about my taxes? What about my student loan debt?
Speaker 4 (21:47):
What about my headlights that cost five hundred dollars a bulb?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Dude, and you have the balls to ask for Venmo money?
All right, we're gonna find our happy place. We're gonna
find our chill place. We're gonna calm down.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Who was sitting in that idea room? How do we
bring the national debt down? Anybody ideas?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I need them? If you have them?
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Speak now, sir? What if we ask people for venmo payments?
What's venmo? I don't know this poor people speak that
you were saying, Well, it's where you just like send
people money.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Oh? I like that. What if we got everybody to
send us money?
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Yeah, that that's the idea I brought up, sir.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Let's do it. That's crazy Venmo payments. The people that
came up with that idea are probably the same ones
that jacked up the prices at Taco Bell. Stop putting
Doritos in everything, and quit sending money to the government
for no reason. They're already taking enough? All right, if
you stuck around for these how long have I been talking?
(23:00):
Twenty three minutes?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
I feel like I've been ryling the dog up and I'm
the dog, and I've been doing it to myself. I'm sorry.
Let's bring it back down. We're gonna have a nice
conversation with comedian Pat McGahn.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
What's going on? Pat?
Speaker 6 (23:14):
Not a lot? Nick? Thanks for having me, man problem.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Are you excited to come to any You're gonna be
here during WNBA also a weekend?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
You excited?
Speaker 6 (23:23):
Yeah, definitely, Yeah. I mean that's kind of one of the.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Hottest sports going right now, isn't it. I got my
daughter's playing hoops. All my kids are in sports. I
got one playing hockey, which is you know, he's ten
and had a tryout, which is insane, you know, the
youth sports. Yeah, you know what the you know, the
tryout was, can you come up with twenty five hundred dollars?
Speaker 6 (23:44):
That was the tryout?
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Well, to be fair, that's a that's a tough way
to make the team nowadays. So I'm glad he made it.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Yeah, so he he's like he was showing off too, like, oh,
I made the team. I'm like, I know, I got
the fraud alert from Chase.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
I'm glad he's on the team, man, and we're excited
to see you. So for people who are getting hype
about the show, or maybe people who haven't seen you before,
what can we expect from a Pat mcgahon show.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Well, you know, I do have a bunch of new material.
Speaker 6 (24:16):
I'm working. I talk a lot about my kids.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
I just got divorced, so I'm talking about you know,
I'm dating now, and I do a little bit of CrowdWork.
All my shows are different, and people may have seen
me in India. I've been you know, I've performed at
Crackers before. I've been at Helium open for Sebastian Man
of Scalco there in Indianapolis. I've been traveling him a lot,
so to be coming back to Helium very fired up.
(24:43):
And you know, every one of my shows is a
little bit different, you know, because I do a little
bit of interaction, and you know, I think I work
fairly clean too. Some people always like to hear that, like,
you know, is this comic going to be dirty or
it's more of a you know, chill vibe.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
Well, that's good man, And this is nice because you're
basically just coming right down the road. You're a Chicagoan, right, yes,
from the South side of Chicago. Okay, So what was
the Pope? So's the Pope?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
You and the Pope?
Speaker 5 (25:14):
Man, I mean, if there is not a bigger sign
that is all coming to an end.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
The Pope is a White Sox fan.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Yeah, that's stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
You would think if God really cared about sports, he
would help the White Sox out just a little bit.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Man.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Yeah, right, I think I hired him because he's familiar
with attendance issues.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
That makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot
of sense. Well, dude, we're hyph for you to come down.
You're obviously hilarious, but you have one of the cooler
career stories, like out of anybody that I've ever heard of.
You started stand up at thirty one, and if people
don't know, that's kind of late to start. So can
you walk me through like how that happened? What was
(25:54):
like the switch that flipped where you're like, yeah, I
got to go do this.
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Yeah, well, you know, I always like to like try
and make people laugh, and all my buddies, my family,
very funny people, and I was always interested in like
writing a little bit, you know, I would jot stuff
down in notebooks, but there's no real writing gigs in Chicago.
So I went to some open mics and I was
always a big fan of stand up comedy and thought
(26:18):
I would give it a shot. It was kind of
pulling at me, but I never really had the nerve
to get on stage. I was not very comfortable talking
in front of people. So that was the biggest obstacle
to overcome. And I figured at thirty one, I'm better
start now or.
Speaker 6 (26:33):
It's gonna definitely be too late. So yeah, it's been
a it's been a fun ride.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yeah, I mean, dude, it worked, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
Yeah, it took a little bit, but yeah, I never
really thought I would become like my career, and I'm
happy that I'm still doing it and that I've been
able to, you know, see the country and get around,
meet a lot of people and be in this The
comedy world is a lot of fun, you know.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Right now.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
I got to ask, because you did have like a
nine to five while you were doing stand up, was
there a point where the stand up got to where
you're like, Okay, I can pay bills off this. So
you got to go into work and say, hey, I
need to quit. Did like, did you have one of
those moments? Because I feel like everybody fantasizes about man
if I can do this, I'm just going to go
in and tell my boss I don't work here anymore.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
Yeah, right, you know.
Speaker 5 (27:27):
It was like so gradual, and then at some point
I was like a commissioned salesperson and I just really
was not like putting the time and effort towards that, right,
and it was starting to show up that my you know, commissions,
and I just kind of had a conversation with the
guy that I worked with. It was very friendly, and
(27:48):
I hadn't really been very open about like, hey, I'm
doing stand up, I'm doing shows, you know, right, so.
Speaker 6 (27:55):
It did.
Speaker 5 (27:55):
We just had a conversation. It was like, yeah, we
probably should part ways. And but it was maybe like
two and a half years after I started doing open
mics that I quit the sales job.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
That's awesome, dude, Like that's that's crazy. So you go
from you know, having a nine to five, you're doing
Mike should get into Zany's. Everybody realizes that you're good
and then you get to open up for Sebastian Manascalco
and go do theaters and arenas. What what was that
feeling like the first time you walked out to like
(28:27):
an arena and you're like, oh man, it I'm doing it.
Speaker 6 (28:30):
Oh man. That is like it's a different feeling altogether.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
You know.
Speaker 5 (28:34):
The arena comedy is it's you know, you usually prefer
comedy in an intimate setting, and somehow in these arenas
it really works. You know, you're in the round and
you have these huge screens and you find a way
that you're able to connect with these people. But yeah,
it's a little bit overwhelming the first time you do that.
(28:54):
But also just to see like Sebastian's trajectory, Like I
met him at Zaney's in Chicago.
Speaker 6 (28:59):
He was selling out comedy clubs at the time.
Speaker 5 (29:01):
Yeah, and he started taking me out small theaters, big theaters.
And then as you mentioned, like these arenas pretty pretty incredible.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
That's awesome. Now how did that conversation work?
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Like Sebastian just saw you murdering at Zanies and then
he was like, hey, come with me to this show
or open up for me, or did you walk up
and ask him to be like, I really liked your stuff.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Do you need an opener? How did that go?
Speaker 5 (29:25):
It was just kind of gradual, It was natural, you know,
like he he's he works really hard, but he's kind
of a choir guy.
Speaker 6 (29:34):
You know.
Speaker 5 (29:34):
He mentions that himself, like in his book that he
kind of refers himself as like a cat, you know.
So I just like I left him alone, I kind of,
you know, And we're both from Chicago and around the
same age, and it was really easy to connect with him.
You know, he's a good guy, family guy. And when
he started bringing me out on the road, I didn't
know it would actually lead to kind of being like,
(29:57):
you know, the guy for the last day next several years.
But it was a really great relationship. And then he
promoted produced a special for me that I taped in
Chicago that's streaming online. You know, there's another way people
can get familiar with my stuff. I have a special
When's Moggamy Home. It's on Peacock and Amazon, and I
throw a bunch of clips up on Instagram and YouTube.
(30:19):
So just to have him support me and put his
name on that, that was really special because you know,
that's like the ultimate you can do for another comic
is trying to help someone up the ladder, you.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Know, right, give him the coat sign. That's awesome. Man. Also,
when's ma going to be home? Is an awesome name
for a special.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
Well yeah, but at the time I was married, and
the whole joke was like my kids would always be
asking me, like, when's Moggamy home. It's like, when I
start paying attention to you, she's close. You know, when
I put my phone on the counter, she's in the driveway.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Oh man, all right, well you're gonna murder this weekend.
I do got to ask. Because you know you're a
White Sox fan, you're from Chicago. Does that mean you're
a Bears fan too?
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (31:04):
Definitely, yeah. I mean the Bears is like the one
thing that brings us all together.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Right, there's no Cubs White Sox division. It's we all
love the Bears.
Speaker 6 (31:14):
No doubt.
Speaker 5 (31:15):
And you know, we're still talking about Super Bowl twenty.
We had a shot with Rex Grossman, not really though,
werever Yeah, we were not going to win that game.
We had that opening kickoff that was enough to you know,
we still talk about that.
Speaker 6 (31:30):
But yeah, the Bears, they get away with so much
because you know, they're the only game in town.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
Right, we have a really good fan base, but you know,
I wish the team would start, but it seems like
they're they're, you know, on the right track.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Well, that's what I wanted to ask, because you know everybody,
I'm a Browns fan, so I get the early season hopefulness.
Bears right, last few years have been in that early
season hopefulness. How do you honestly feel about Caleb Williams
this year? Do you guys, so you're gonna make a
run because the NF tough bro.
Speaker 6 (32:04):
It is definitely tough.
Speaker 5 (32:05):
But I think they made some great moves or showing
up that offensive line, and that was really it last year,
like when he has time, he is good. He had
some great fourth quarters.
Speaker 6 (32:14):
It was like they lost.
Speaker 5 (32:16):
Some games in some very special ways.
Speaker 6 (32:18):
Last year.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
It was almost like, oh yeah, the Thanksgiving game.
Speaker 6 (32:24):
Yeah, it's just like you see some flashes though.
Speaker 5 (32:28):
And I think they got great receivers the offense, if
they have the protection, I think they'll be. They're always
good defensively, so we'll see. And then the coaching change huge.
I think people are really excited about Ben Johnson and
you know, what he did in Detroit was obviously significant,
had a ton of success there, and he seems to
(32:49):
be like a player's coach, and that's a lot of
times what it takes. Now, we haven't had one of
those since Lovey Smith. Lovey Smith was run out of town.
I thought prematurely. He was very successful. He had the
locker room, the players loved him, so hopefully we'll see
more of that.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Yeah, I'm excited for those The first Bears Lions game,
that's that's gonna be a good one. I hope Ben
Jason schemes up because he knows what kind of defense
Campbell wants to run and what he wants to do,
so it's gonna be fun.
Speaker 6 (33:18):
How are the Browns in the Colts looking?
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Both of them?
Speaker 3 (33:22):
The Browns look a little worse than the Colts because
the Colts they look like they're gonna have to start
Daniel Jones over Anthony Richardson, But their team in general
is a little more put together than the Browns. And
the Browns just had another player get arrested for domestic violence,
so you know, yeah, yeah, right right, play the Hits, dude,
(33:44):
But Pat, is there anything else you want? To hype
up before I let you get out here. I know
you're busy, but I really appreciate you taking the time.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Man.
Speaker 5 (33:52):
No, I appreciate you having me Nick, and just yeah,
I would love to see people out this weekend. I
know it's a big weekend in Indie with the All
Star Game, but Saturday night I got two shows at
Helium and then one on Sunday, which is a lot
of fun. The Sunday night shows can be sneaky good,
So looking forward to being back there. You know, I'm
from Chicago at Indycent, like you mentioned, right down the road,
(34:14):
and I seem to connect with the people there well,
so I hope people come out.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
They will. We're gonna pack it out, everybody.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
Go get your tickets, go see Pat McGann at Helium
this weekend.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Pat, I appreciate you. I know you're gonna murder this weekend. Bro,
have fun.
Speaker 6 (34:29):
Thanks, man, I appreciate you having me. Nick take care
of it.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
For money for Go money for Go money for Go
money
I still speaking that that should not have made it
to the rest of us. This is inside Thoughts. Let's
get to.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Check check check one, two three. We're live, Betty.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Thanks for pressing play listening Inside Thoughts. I got a
cool interview for you at the end of the podcast
with comedian Pat McGahn. Got to talk to him a
few few days ago, and uh, he was a super
cool guy. Started stand up a little bit late and
I ended up killing it and now he's he's doing good.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
So got that coming up for you. Sorry, the podcast
is a day late.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I uh, I had to wait and just kind of
like talk myself out of being angry. It would have
been a mad podcast if I had done it yesterday.
So I had to go get my car fixed. And
first of all, your car always knows when you just
have like a little bit of extra money.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
It's like, oh, you want to go do that thing? No, no, no,
buddy fixed.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Me every time. So a few days ago, me and
Aims are driving home. You know, it's about to get
dark here in Indy. The sun doesn't go way till
like ten o'clock at night, so I hadn't been noticing it,
but we were driving back from a concert and like
my headlights weren't working. I was like, okay, this is
(01:25):
super dangerous. By the time we got home, it was
like super dark, and I understand why we have headlights now.
It's it's tough to see. So I was like, okay,
I get these fixed, and I like had tried to.
One of the headlights was going like in and out,
so I tried to get them fixed. Like earlier, anytime
I go like get an oil change or something like
(01:47):
that on the car, this has been going on for
a couple months. I'd be like, hey, can you guys
swap out my headlights? And they'd be like, oh, yeah,
we can try, but like the way your car is built,
we have to like take a bunch of things apart
and to get to the white.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Do you want us to do that?
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm like no, So I'm only paying you guys like
forty bucks give me an oil change.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I don't want you messing up my car.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
So I take it to the dealership and I'm thinking,
I just need like my headlights done. This is gonna
be like a three hundred dollars thing, right, So the
like I dropped my car off and tell him what's
wrong with it. I was like, need some new headlights,
blah blah blah. They're like, Okay, I'm driving in an
uber to get to work in the morning. And the
(02:33):
guy calls me like ten minutes after I dropped it off.
He goes, oh, it was just Nick Jordan. I was
like yeah. He goes, oh, yeah, you just dropped off
your your car, right, and I go yeah, I just
talked to you ten minutes ago. He goes, oh yeah,
Just let me go ahead and write down what's wrong
with you?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
What do you need fixed?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
And I was like, bro, I just told you so
already we're not off to a great start, but I
have to take this thing into the dealership since the
only place that can, you know, fix my car without
fucking up the white fatime warranty that I supposedly have
on this car. When I got the car, the guy
was like, the guy's selling it to me, which I know,
I'm stupid. I felt for this, but he's like, Hey,
(03:10):
for an extra whatever many dollars, we can give you
the lifetime warranty on the car. So you're just good.
Bring it into any Dodge dealership and they'll fix it
up for you.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
You know. You pay deductible. It's just like going to
the doctor.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I was like, yeah, got insurance, you know, sounds sounds right.
You know, everything on the car is mostly pretty expensive,
so why not.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
So flashback like a year ago.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
I needed to get new tires because one of them
was one of them was flat. So I take it
to the Dodge dealership and I'm like, hey, you guys
want to cut me a deal lifetime warranty. They go, oh, no,
we don't cover tires. And I was like, what do
you cover? They're like everything on the car? And I go,
where are the tires on the car? Then cover the tires? No,
we don't cover the tires. I was like, what does
(03:55):
this say?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Cover it? Better cover the engine and the transmissions. If
that what ever goes.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Out, WHOA, I'm gonna be running up in a building,
my boy, I promise you, because every time I try
and take this thing in, I'm like, yeah, I got
the wifetime warranty.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
You guys can fix this for me for a deal, right,
They go, Nope, you gotta pay full price.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I go, what did I pay that extra money for? Well,
for being a dumb ass. Yeah, I figured that. I
figured that.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
So I'm already I'm like, already not happy anytime I
got to go into a dealership because they talk to
me like I'm stupid, and I am stupid, but I
don't like being talked to like that. Right, So I'm already,
you know, getting angry. This guy's calling me asking me,
you know, what's wrong with the car. After I just
talked to him for ten minutes, I was like, dude,
fix the headlights. He was like okay.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
He's like, yeah, well, we'll sess it.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
We'll plug into the car's computer and run some tests,
just you know, double chuck, make sure nothing else is
wrong with it, and then we'll send you a text
with the estimate and everything.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I was like, okay, cool. So I'm at work, I'm
doing whatever I gotta do.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
I get a text and I open it up and
it says that the headlights are gonna cost five hundred dollars.
So I called this guy up and I was like, hey, bro,
five hundred dollars for headlights, Like, I just need you
to put some light bulbs in the front of my
car so I can see. I don't need, you know,
the super duper led lights that every fucker that drives
(05:21):
behind me has right, and he goes, yeah, sorry, dude,
your car the only lights made for it are the
super duper led ones that every fucker that drives behind
you have. So we got to put that in there.
And I'm like, okay, do it. You know, like, now
I'm gonna have the lights that are super expensive and
(05:44):
I get to burn off people's retinas because I want
to be able to see a deer coming from next Tuesday,
you know what I mean. So I was like, all right, whatever,
it's two hundred dollars more expensive than I thought it
was gonna be, but yeah, fix the headlights.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Whatever.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
So I go get my car and uh I go.
I walk in same guy I've talked to four times now,
and I'm like, hey, what's going on, bro, I'm picking
up my car.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
He goes, Oh, what's your name? What color of car
you have? I was like, I know, you get a
lot of people in here, but try to have a
little bit of customer service, bro.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
So I was like, yeah, this is my car, can
you go get it. He's like, oh, yeah, no problem
and then pulls the car up, hands me. The billy goes, yeah,
that's gonna be seven hundred dollars and I go what.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I go? I thought you said it was gonna be
five hundred for the headwlights.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
He goes yeah, but we gotta put Weber in there,
and we had to run a diagnostic check on it.
You said the diagnostic check was free. He goes, oh yeah,
but that was a different one. We decided to do
the different one that costs money.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Was ah.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
So I was like, all right, whatever, seven hundred dollars, sure,
But now I have the head whites fix and he goes,
oh yeah, by the way, uh, you might want to
get that other head white fixed because it's gonna go
out soon. I go, what do you mean the other
Do I have a third headlight like under the balls
of my car that I don't know about. He goes, no,
we just fixed one headlight.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
And I go, seven hundred dollars for one headlight. Ooh,
I'm so glad I did not have a gun.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Bro.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
I was like, see, this is why I didn't do
the podcast yesterday. This is exactly why I didn't do
the podcast yesterday because I was like this but more,
and you would have turned it off because you're like,
I don't need this kind of negativity in my wife.
Wife's expensive I have my own problems. I don't want
to listen to somebody bitch like this.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
I get it. This is me coming down a little bit.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Like Amy texts me all the way home like everything right, love,
and I was just like, I'll see you when I
get home because I need I need this thirty minute
drive home to just not I don't want to take
my day out on you. I can't talk right now.
I was like, what do you mean you only fixed
one headlight? And he was like, well, yeah, you know,
the one headlight's five five hundred bucks a piece. I
(07:51):
go this light bulb that goes in the front of
my car costs five hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Does this have anything to do with tariffs?
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Oh? I was so pissed, dude, But now you know
I'm not dropping fourteen hundred dollars on fucking white balls
that go in the front of my car. So I
you know, I'm driving around with one headlight right now.
I hope the other one hangs on for dear wife
a little bit longer, because I know as soon as
I drive at night, some dickhead cops gonna pull me
(08:23):
over and be like Uh, so you know why I
pulled you over right now, Sarah?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Why oh you only got one head white out? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Sorry about that. Man, I'm kind of short on money
right now. Well, you know what's gonna help you out
with paying for a new headlight. What if I'd write
you a three hundred dollars ticket for not having two
headlights and then you can pay that all first before
you get the new headlight.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Pictures, where does it end? Man, the greed? Where does
it end?
Speaker 3 (08:46):
Five hundred dollars for a white ball that goes into
the front of my car? I hope I blind somebody.
Now I better be able to see into the future
with this thing. Dude, all right, calm down, calm down.
This is why we didn't do the podcast yesterday because
it would have been worse. Okay, we're doing it today.
We're being better. We've calmed down the heart rate.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
It's allow up. I need you to bring it down.
Did you hear that deep breath? And now we're centered,
we're back.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Yes, it's giving chill.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
It's giving chill. You're chill coded right now.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
So stupid, like dude, whoever I would we I said
that to the person the other day like when I
was at the dealership, I was like, you mean to
tell me that this headlight costs one headlight costs five
hundred fucking dollars And he goes yeah. I go, there's
no other headlight you can give me. He goes, Nope,
that's how they made it. I go, whoever made that's
a fucking asshole. He goes, yeah, he didn't care. He
(09:48):
was getting his money. He already fixed it. He was
gonna hold my car. It's frustrating, but it's whatever.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Man.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
I just needed a day to calm down, needed to
just chill out and relax. But now you know, I
got one Stevie wonder Maker in the front of my car.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So that's that's good. It's just money. You can make more.
It's fine.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
It's just like annoying when you like spend that much
money on something that like, you can't enjoy. It's not
like I was going to a concert or like a
football game or anything fun, like drinking seven hundred dollars
worth of beer that had been cool. When when you
got to pay for something that's just not fun, you
(10:33):
start adding up, like all the hours you've worked to
make that much money, and you're like, okay, okay, we'll
get back, We'll get back.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
So what else is going on in the news? Have
you seen this? Have you heard of this?
Speaker 3 (10:49):
I need to calm down, dude. I've been, uh been
on social media today because that's what you do when
you need to calm down.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
I gotta be honest.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
The amount of people I see falling for like AI
or just straight up like sentel, fake posts, the people
that fall victim to it, it's just sad. I'm like,
you didn't do any research before, like you did your
whole Facebook rant on why this is the dumbest thing
you've ever seen.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Hey, guess what, it's not real, Like it's it's tough.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Hey, I robots there, We're mincemeat, buddy. They're gonna beat
us so bad. It's tough.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
And I'm I'm mad.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
I feel like I've missed, like my my viral moment,
like my moment to you know, get to be doing
stand up all over the country because people know me
as this guy that did this thing, because like you know,
if you've ever seen me like do stand up like
a longer set, I have this joke about how I
(11:57):
hate robots and and I drop a robotic slur in there.
I call him spark Pluggers, and you know, people enjoy
the joke.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
It's nice.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
I posted on social media. You know it did it
did good on TikTok, nowhere else. And now I'm seeing,
like the trend now is everybody. I see so many
people going viral talking about how much they hate robots,
and they're dropping robotic slurs. They're calling them clankers, which
is from Futurama. It's not even original. And all these
(12:32):
people are going viral and everybody's like, yeah, you hate robots.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
And I was like, I hated them first. Man.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
I miss my my my viral moment. I was like, damn, dude,
I could have I could have been the I hate
robots guy, you know how like Hannibal Burris was the
guy that got Bill Cosby arrested.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Kind of, I don't be like that.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
But with robots, Hey, Nick, Hannibal was already good at
what he did before that happened. Yeah, hey, listen, we
don't need to talk about the details. I'm just saying I.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Feel like I was robbed of my moment. Okay, It's
all right.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
It happens if you hate well enough and long enough,
it'll pay off, all right.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
But seriously, robots.
Speaker 3 (13:18):
I keep seeing like the robots in like the Walmarts
and Kroger, and they're they're already here in like the
big cities. They just have like this robot like scooting around.
It's like a Star Wars looking robot, just scooting around
saying like, we have.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
These deals that you can get, would you like a coupon?
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Or some of them are mopping the floors. I wonder
if they're go in shifts, like the Walmart manager watching
at the beginning of the day. It's like, all right, Tina,
you're on the cast register. Ben, you're at the deli.
Robot one, you're mopping the forest today. Fuck Robot two,
(14:00):
you're handing out coupon's. All right, well, why does robot
one get to do that? Well, because you did it yesterday. Okay,
everything's fair. And now they're just plotting on how to
kill Jeff the chef manager. I'm just saying, we're already
falling for ai posts and robots.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Are in the walmarts. They're coming.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
At first it's the oos and the o's, then it's
the running and the screaming. All right, I need something happy,
need need something happy, been talking about car has been
talked about robots, all these spark pluggers getting on my nerves.
Oh me and Ames, Uh, we saved the hummingbird last week.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
She uh.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
She came to the office while I was working because
she works remote and if we have to go to
a concert, like right after work, I can't go up
to the burbs to come get her. I don't want
her to have to get ubers. So she works here.
So we're taking a break at lunch. We're sitting outside
of the office and we're just like eating talking. All
(15:10):
of a sudden, I see like this like little green
thing fall down behind her, and then these two other
little finch birds like start going crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
I looked. I was like, what the hell was that.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
It was a little hummingbird. It was so hot, like
this heat waves been going on.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
It was so hot.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
This hummingbird just like collapsed from heat exhaustion. So these
other two birds saw it and they were trying to
eat it. So I walked over like knocked those birds away,
picked up the little hummingbird and put them in like
a potted plant that was outside in this area that
we were eating lunch.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
At and I thought he was dead dude.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Like his wings were like spread out and he went
like lifting up his head, but like he was still,
like you could see him breathing. So I was like,
all right, I'll put him in here, give him a
little bit of water or whatever. We gave him, like
some sugar water. It's a little tongue like popped out,
and he was having it. I was like, all right,
see you, buddy, I gotta go back to work. Wash
my hands because birds, birds are dirty.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
The birds. You don't get him, pet smarter dirty, don't
touch him.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
So like hoping he was gonna be okay, And then
we came in and it started just pissing down rain,
so I got nervous. I was like, oh fuck, did
I put that bird in a like a leaf that's
gonna end up being like a cup. And I just
drowned this thing, which is I don't know, on a
list of ways to go, drowning is probably not as
(16:34):
bad as heat, exhaustion and being eaten, but it still sucks.
So like after it stopped raining a little bit, went
back outside to check on it, and this thing he
was like, you know, he stood up. He was perched
on a on a branch and he was like sleeping
because you know, he had to regain his energy. But
he was up and I was like, okay, cool. And
(16:56):
then me and Amesa had walked down to this concert afterward,
so we checked on him again. He was like up,
you know, still like moving a little slow, but he
was all good. And then after the concert we walked
back check on him again and he was gone.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
So we just like to.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
Imagine that he flew away back to his hummingbird familymes.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Ames was cracking me out.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
We were walking back from the concert after we checked
on the bird, and she was like, you know what
happened after that bird left and went home right? And
I was like, no, what happened? She was like, he
went home and he was talking to his wife. He's like, hey, babe,
I didn't want to worry you, so I didn't bring
(17:40):
this up in front of the kids. But like I
almost died today.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
She's like, what what happened.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
It's like it was too hot, I got too far
away from any water, and uh yeah, I got jumped
and these humans they picked me up and they put
me so it's I'm safe. But I just want to
I want to let you know, like a really I
love you, I love the kids, but it's okay now.
And I was like, yeah, Ames, that's beautiful. And then
(18:06):
she was like and you know, right after she said that,
the wife was like.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
Okay, you're never going downtown again.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Well yeah, we uh saved the bird. So that was fun.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
That was the happy, happy moment of the week that
did not involve machinery.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
What else. It's kind of happy. Oh Taco Bell.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
I got excited because Taco Bell announced they were coming
out with like a new cheap like value menu. They're
like lux menu where everything's three bucks. And I was like, okay,
Taco Bell's getting back to their roots, because Taco Bell
used to be like, if you were hungry and you
were broke, Taco Bell was always there for you. You
(18:53):
go get a burrito for eighty nine cents, you go
get a bunch of food. If you had five dollars,
you could feast like a can eating a Taco Bell.
And then somewhere along the way, after they went a
little too crazy with putting Doritos and everything, they start
jacking the prices up. They're like, you know what, fuck
these poor people, we can make money off of them too.
They'll still come here. We have doritos in our food.
(19:15):
Who else is doing that? They'll come here. So now
you go to Taco Bell and it costs like twenty
bucks to get two tacos.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
You're like, what happened? What happened to the game? I love? Man?
Speaker 3 (19:24):
So I'm looking at this lux menu that they got.
Every item on it is three dollars. The dollar menu
is three dollars. Now it's not like, oh yeah, you
can get a meal for three dollars. Every item on
the menu is three dollars. I'm gonna end up talking
(19:45):
to my grandkids. Sounded like a crazy person reminiscing on
the days when I could afford to eat a Taco Bell.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Well, back in my day, you could get Taco Bell
for seventy nine cents. And they'll be like, shut up, Grandpa,
that's it's not real.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
It's like when your grandparents used to tell you a
candy bar was a nickel. He'd be like, yeah, okay, dude,
back in the old folks home.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Taco Bell's lost their way, bro, it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
All right, let's get to your headline of the week
and then we'll get into this interview with comedian Pat MCCAMMB.
The federal government will now accept Venmo payments from citizens
who want to help pay off the national debt. The
Treasury's begun accepting Vemo transactions as contributions towards the national debt,
(20:34):
which currently stands at thirty six trillion dollars. The absolute
balls to ask citizens for Venmo payments, Like we just
went out to dinner or we went on vacation, and
it's like, hey, yeah, we'll split I'll get this right now,
we'll split it up after just vemo me. Okay, that's
what the government's doing to us. I thought I was
(20:55):
already helping pay off the national debt. What are taxes for?
You're already taking my money. I see how much you take.
Could have used that to buy two fucking headwlights.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
For my car.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Well, if you, if you feel like a true patriot,
you can send us a little extra bullar. Buddy, No, dude,
don't do that. I know there's stupid people that are
doing that too. Like, if you learn anything from listening
to this podcast, it's just don't be dumber than me.
If you can do that, you will have a solid life.
(21:30):
Don't be dumber than me and you'll be okay. Do
not send the federal government Venmo money to help pay
off a debt that's never getting paid off?
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Well, what about my taxes? What about my student loan debt?
Speaker 4 (21:47):
What about my headlights that cost five hundred dollars a bulb?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Dude, and you have the balls to ask for Venmo money?
All right, we're gonna find our happy place. We're gonna
find our chill place. We're gonna calm down.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Who was sitting in that idea room? How do we
bring the national debt down? Anybody ideas?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I need them? If you have them?
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Speak now, sir? What if we ask people for venmo payments?
What's venmo? I don't know this poor people speak that
you were saying, Well, it's where you just like send
people money.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
Oh? I like that. What if we got everybody to
send us money?
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Yeah, that that's the idea I brought up, sir.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Let's do it. That's crazy Venmo payments. The people that
came up with that idea are probably the same ones
that jacked up the prices at Taco Bell. Stop putting
Doritos in everything, and quit sending money to the government
for no reason. They're already taking enough? All right, if
you stuck around for these how long have I been talking?
(23:00):
Twenty three minutes?
Speaker 2 (23:02):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
I feel like I've been ryling the dog up and I'm
the dog, and I've been doing it to myself. I'm sorry.
Let's bring it back down. We're gonna have a nice
conversation with comedian Pat McGahn.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
What's going on? Pat?
Speaker 6 (23:14):
Not a lot? Nick? Thanks for having me, man problem.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Are you excited to come to any You're gonna be
here during WNBA also a weekend?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
You excited?
Speaker 6 (23:23):
Yeah, definitely, Yeah. I mean that's kind of one of the.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Hottest sports going right now, isn't it. I got my
daughter's playing hoops. All my kids are in sports. I
got one playing hockey, which is you know, he's ten
and had a tryout, which is insane, you know, the
youth sports. Yeah, you know what the you know, the
tryout was, can you come up with twenty five hundred dollars?
Speaker 6 (23:44):
That was the tryout?
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Well, to be fair, that's a that's a tough way
to make the team nowadays. So I'm glad he made it.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
Yeah, so he he's like he was showing off too, like, oh,
I made the team. I'm like, I know, I got
the fraud alert from Chase.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
I'm glad he's on the team, man, and we're excited
to see you. So for people who are getting hype
about the show, or maybe people who haven't seen you before,
what can we expect from a Pat mcgahon show.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Well, you know, I do have a bunch of new material.
Speaker 6 (24:16):
I'm working. I talk a lot about my kids.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
I just got divorced, so I'm talking about you know,
I'm dating now, and I do a little bit of CrowdWork.
All my shows are different, and people may have seen
me in India. I've been you know, I've performed at
Crackers before. I've been at Helium open for Sebastian Man
of Scalco there in Indianapolis. I've been traveling him a lot,
so to be coming back to Helium very fired up.
(24:43):
And you know, every one of my shows is a
little bit different, you know, because I do a little
bit of interaction, and you know, I think I work
fairly clean too. Some people always like to hear that, like,
you know, is this comic going to be dirty or
it's more of a you know, chill vibe.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
Well, that's good man, And this is nice because you're
basically just coming right down the road. You're a Chicagoan, right, yes,
from the South side of Chicago. Okay, So what was
the Pope? So's the Pope?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
You and the Pope?
Speaker 5 (25:14):
Man, I mean, if there is not a bigger sign
that is all coming to an end.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
The Pope is a White Sox fan.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Yeah, that's stuff.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
You would think if God really cared about sports, he
would help the White Sox out just a little bit.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Man.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Yeah, right, I think I hired him because he's familiar
with attendance issues.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
That makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot
of sense. Well, dude, we're hyph for you to come down.
You're obviously hilarious, but you have one of the cooler
career stories, like out of anybody that I've ever heard of.
You started stand up at thirty one, and if people
don't know, that's kind of late to start. So can
you walk me through like how that happened? What was
(25:54):
like the switch that flipped where you're like, yeah, I
got to go do this.
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Yeah, well, you know, I always like to like try
and make people laugh, and all my buddies, my family,
very funny people, and I was always interested in like
writing a little bit, you know, I would jot stuff
down in notebooks, but there's no real writing gigs in Chicago.
So I went to some open mics and I was
always a big fan of stand up comedy and thought
(26:18):
I would give it a shot. It was kind of
pulling at me, but I never really had the nerve
to get on stage. I was not very comfortable talking
in front of people. So that was the biggest obstacle
to overcome. And I figured at thirty one, I'm better
start now or.
Speaker 6 (26:33):
It's gonna definitely be too late. So yeah, it's been
a it's been a fun ride.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Yeah, I mean, dude, it worked, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
Yeah, it took a little bit, but yeah, I never
really thought I would become like my career, and I'm
happy that I'm still doing it and that I've been
able to, you know, see the country and get around,
meet a lot of people and be in this The
comedy world is a lot of fun, you know.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Right now.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
I got to ask, because you did have like a
nine to five while you were doing stand up, was
there a point where the stand up got to where
you're like, Okay, I can pay bills off this. So
you got to go into work and say, hey, I
need to quit. Did like, did you have one of
those moments? Because I feel like everybody fantasizes about man
if I can do this, I'm just going to go
in and tell my boss I don't work here anymore.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
Yeah, right, you know.
Speaker 5 (27:27):
It was like so gradual, and then at some point
I was like a commissioned salesperson and I just really
was not like putting the time and effort towards that, right,
and it was starting to show up that my you know, commissions,
and I just kind of had a conversation with the
guy that I worked with. It was very friendly, and
(27:48):
I hadn't really been very open about like, hey, I'm
doing stand up, I'm doing shows, you know, right, so.
Speaker 6 (27:55):
It did.
Speaker 5 (27:55):
We just had a conversation. It was like, yeah, we
probably should part ways. And but it was maybe like
two and a half years after I started doing open
mics that I quit the sales job.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
That's awesome, dude, Like that's that's crazy. So you go
from you know, having a nine to five, you're doing
Mike should get into Zany's. Everybody realizes that you're good
and then you get to open up for Sebastian Manascalco
and go do theaters and arenas. What what was that
feeling like the first time you walked out to like
(28:27):
an arena and you're like, oh man, it I'm doing it.
Speaker 6 (28:30):
Oh man. That is like it's a different feeling altogether.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
You know.
Speaker 5 (28:34):
The arena comedy is it's you know, you usually prefer
comedy in an intimate setting, and somehow in these arenas
it really works. You know, you're in the round and
you have these huge screens and you find a way
that you're able to connect with these people. But yeah,
it's a little bit overwhelming the first time you do that.
(28:54):
But also just to see like Sebastian's trajectory, Like I
met him at Zaney's in Chicago.
Speaker 6 (28:59):
He was selling out comedy clubs at the time.
Speaker 5 (29:01):
Yeah, and he started taking me out small theaters, big theaters.
And then as you mentioned, like these arenas pretty pretty incredible.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
That's awesome. Now how did that conversation work?
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Like Sebastian just saw you murdering at Zanies and then
he was like, hey, come with me to this show
or open up for me, or did you walk up
and ask him to be like, I really liked your stuff.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Do you need an opener? How did that go?
Speaker 5 (29:25):
It was just kind of gradual, It was natural, you know,
like he he's he works really hard, but he's kind
of a choir guy.
Speaker 6 (29:34):
You know.
Speaker 5 (29:34):
He mentions that himself, like in his book that he
kind of refers himself as like a cat, you know.
So I just like I left him alone, I kind of,
you know, And we're both from Chicago and around the
same age, and it was really easy to connect with him.
You know, he's a good guy, family guy. And when
he started bringing me out on the road, I didn't
know it would actually lead to kind of being like,
(29:57):
you know, the guy for the last day next several years.
But it was a really great relationship. And then he
promoted produced a special for me that I taped in
Chicago that's streaming online. You know, there's another way people
can get familiar with my stuff. I have a special
When's Moggamy Home. It's on Peacock and Amazon, and I
throw a bunch of clips up on Instagram and YouTube.
(30:19):
So just to have him support me and put his
name on that, that was really special because you know,
that's like the ultimate you can do for another comic
is trying to help someone up the ladder, you.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Know, right, give him the coat sign. That's awesome. Man. Also,
when's ma going to be home? Is an awesome name
for a special.
Speaker 5 (30:40):
Well yeah, but at the time I was married, and
the whole joke was like my kids would always be
asking me, like, when's Moggamy home. It's like, when I
start paying attention to you, she's close. You know, when
I put my phone on the counter, she's in the driveway.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Oh man, all right, well you're gonna murder this weekend.
I do got to ask. Because you know you're a
White Sox fan, you're from Chicago. Does that mean you're
a Bears fan too?
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (31:04):
Definitely, yeah. I mean the Bears is like the one
thing that brings us all together.
Speaker 3 (31:09):
Right, there's no Cubs White Sox division. It's we all
love the Bears.
Speaker 6 (31:14):
No doubt.
Speaker 5 (31:15):
And you know, we're still talking about Super Bowl twenty.
We had a shot with Rex Grossman, not really though,
werever Yeah, we were not going to win that game.
We had that opening kickoff that was enough to you know,
we still talk about that.
Speaker 6 (31:30):
But yeah, the Bears, they get away with so much
because you know, they're the only game in town.
Speaker 5 (31:37):
Right, we have a really good fan base, but you know,
I wish the team would start, but it seems like
they're they're, you know, on the right track.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
Well, that's what I wanted to ask, because you know everybody,
I'm a Browns fan, so I get the early season hopefulness.
Bears right, last few years have been in that early
season hopefulness. How do you honestly feel about Caleb Williams
this year? Do you guys, so you're gonna make a
run because the NF tough bro.
Speaker 6 (32:04):
It is definitely tough.
Speaker 5 (32:05):
But I think they made some great moves or showing
up that offensive line, and that was really it last year,
like when he has time, he is good. He had
some great fourth quarters.
Speaker 6 (32:14):
It was like they lost.
Speaker 5 (32:16):
Some games in some very special ways.
Speaker 6 (32:18):
Last year.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
It was almost like, oh yeah, the Thanksgiving game.
Speaker 6 (32:24):
Yeah, it's just like you see some flashes though.
Speaker 5 (32:28):
And I think they got great receivers the offense, if
they have the protection, I think they'll be. They're always
good defensively, so we'll see. And then the coaching change huge.
I think people are really excited about Ben Johnson and
you know, what he did in Detroit was obviously significant,
had a ton of success there, and he seems to
(32:49):
be like a player's coach, and that's a lot of
times what it takes. Now, we haven't had one of
those since Lovey Smith. Lovey Smith was run out of town.
I thought prematurely. He was very successful. He had the
locker room, the players loved him, so hopefully we'll see
more of that.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Yeah, I'm excited for those The first Bears Lions game,
that's that's gonna be a good one. I hope Ben
Jason schemes up because he knows what kind of defense
Campbell wants to run and what he wants to do,
so it's gonna be fun.
Speaker 6 (33:18):
How are the Browns in the Colts looking?
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Both of them?
Speaker 3 (33:22):
The Browns look a little worse than the Colts because
the Colts they look like they're gonna have to start
Daniel Jones over Anthony Richardson, But their team in general
is a little more put together than the Browns. And
the Browns just had another player get arrested for domestic violence,
so you know, yeah, yeah, right right, play the Hits, dude,
(33:44):
But Pat, is there anything else you want? To hype
up before I let you get out here. I know
you're busy, but I really appreciate you taking the time.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Man.
Speaker 5 (33:52):
No, I appreciate you having me Nick, and just yeah,
I would love to see people out this weekend. I
know it's a big weekend in Indie with the All
Star Game, but Saturday night I got two shows at
Helium and then one on Sunday, which is a lot
of fun. The Sunday night shows can be sneaky good,
So looking forward to being back there. You know, I'm
from Chicago at Indycent, like you mentioned, right down the road,
(34:14):
and I seem to connect with the people there well,
so I hope people come out.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
They will. We're gonna pack it out, everybody.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
Go get your tickets, go see Pat McGann at Helium
this weekend.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Pat, I appreciate you. I know you're gonna murder this weekend. Bro,
have fun.
Speaker 6 (34:29):
Thanks, man, I appreciate you having me. Nick take care
of it.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
For money for Go money for Go money for Go
money
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