Inside Thoughts Episode 83

Nick talks about how hard working is, the kings of tupelo, and new years resolutions

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Why are you still speaking that that should not have
made it to the rest of it. This is inside thoughts.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Or check check check one two three. Welcome back to
episode inside Thoughts, episode whatever this is? Was this eighty
eighty three? Welcome back, Hope you're enjoying the winding down period.
You know we're gonna We're gonna wide down to have

(00:34):
a more chilled vibe at the end of this week.
You're having a chill vibe. Ames, are you working like
a dog? What are you doing? Yeah, she's working. Guess
who's not me? No, I actually gotta go actually do
some work here and a little bit. Uh, don't don't

(00:56):
look at me like my job is not as important
as you. Your job so hard, Jordan, don't diminish my accomplishments.
I'm working hard too. Yeah. I got a show tonight

(01:17):
at the Funny Stop. Should be fun. I'd get up
super early this morning after driving to Ohio and getting
here at two am to go promote the show. You know,
do comedian stuff. Shout out to uh one O seven
three Alternative Cleveland the morning, Hang with Ryan Lang him

(01:39):
and Brady with me? Oh, what's up? Piggy Pig just
walked in she's in a new situation, so it's always
interesting to see how she adapts to change because she
acts like she has a little bit of the tism sometimes. Anyway,
shout out to uh Ryan and uh Brady that went

(02:00):
you hop on the show. Do souh live at local
morning radio. Promote the show. Hopefully go push a couple
more tickets, but we'll see how it goes. Have an
update for you Tuesday. Sorry I was slacking on the podcast.
I know it's Thursday, but slacking on the podcast. Didn't
feel like doing it Tuesdays. We went to went to

(02:22):
it Lan over the weekend, doing a bunch of driving,
and I gotta be honest, just my busy schedule, I
couldn't bring myself to do the podcast. I gotta be honest.
That's my new favorite shit to do. Is Ames is
grinding her fingers, typing to the bone over there and

(02:44):
stressing about her new job, trying to, you know, just
master the craft. She's learning something new and I'm proud
of her. She's killing it. But I gotta be honest,
there is nothing funnier than having to do like one
or two things a day and acting like it is
the toughest thing that you did all day, Like, oh man,

(03:04):
I think I need a nap? Why Love? I just
I put the put the laundry in the dryer. Didn't
even I didn't even fold the whole thing. Just put
the put the laundry in the wash and put it
in the dryer. You you can fold the clothes. I
don't feel like doing it. I'm too tired. That was

(03:24):
too much work for me. But there's there's nothing funnier
than that. I just gotta I gotta stop working myself
too hard, right, Ames, there was one thing I was
supposed to be doing. My mom just walked in. Hold
on a second, and I'm back. Yeah, my mom walked

(03:45):
in from work and we're at her house. So she
came in and said hey to Ames and all that
kind of stuff. What was I talking about, Oh yeah,
having a really stressful job, being unemployed. So while Ames
is working, my job has been to look for Buddy
the Elf at the apartment. So our apartment complex is
doing this thing where they're hiding like a little miniature

(04:08):
Buddy the Elf around the common areas and the apartment
and if you're the first one to find them, you
get to bring it back to the office and get
a prize. And the prizes are like an espresso machine,
tickets to like a Can's game, some gift cards, all
that kind of stuff. So Ames sat me down. We
had a conversation. She was like, Hey, you're a bum

(04:30):
ass bitch. So what your job is is to find
Buddy the Elf. So I wake up every day at
the crack ass of nine o'clock and I go look
for Buddy the Elf. I've been able to find this thing.
Haven't been able to find this thing. So there was
one day where like I go down and I'm looking,

(04:51):
like in the gym, and I already see like people
in the gym. I've looked everywhere else. I can't find it.
I see people in the gym, So I'm like, I'm
not going to go in there, you know, and look around.
They probably already found it. Literally, as I'm coming up
to go to the apartment, Ames text me and she
said one of her friends found it. And I was like, what,
Like she found it like fifteen minutes before me, and

(05:15):
I go where'd she find it? She goes, I don't know.
And you know, like when girls get confused as to why,
like you don't ask your guy friends certain questions that
would seem like pertinent information to them, Like I have
no idea what any of my friends do for work.
I just know that they have jobs. I just I

(05:36):
know that they do stuff. They're like, yeah, well, we're
on slack, we're doing teams, beatings. We got to circle back,
and I don't know what they do. Ames asked me
all the time, like what do your friends do?

Speaker 1 (05:48):
You know?

Speaker 2 (05:48):
I don't know, Like even their girlfriends like, oh, they
getting engaged. I don't know. She's like, why don't you
ask these questions? I was like, I don't know. We
just talked about sports and make fun of each other.
That's all we do. So now on the flip side
of that, I got the conversation print screen because the
first question if you find if you find a treasure,

(06:09):
the first question somebody should ask you is where did
you find it? If you know what the treasure is.
Because if somebody's like I found a treasure, your first
question is, well, what was in it? But if you
already know what it was, second question is where'd you
find it? So the conversation goes like her friend text,
he said I found it, She goes, I just sent

(06:30):
Nick looking for it. I said, if you're not working,
the least you can do is forage for prizes. No
questions were asked, they're just commenting on it. I go, how,
how was the first question?

Speaker 1 (06:42):
Not?

Speaker 2 (06:42):
Where did you find this thing? She goes, Oh, okay,
I'm asking. And the thing that sucked the most was
it was a place I'd look just ten minutes too. Wait,
so I'm just saying I failed. I didn't do my
job very well. But I am being like super sick
and being unemployed. Like I'm watching all the things on Netflix,

(07:03):
Like have you guys watched King of Kings of Tupillow Tupolo, Yeah,
where Elvis was born, Kings of Tupelo on Netflix. Go
watch it. It's like Tiger King with no tigers, just
the craziest southernest rednecks I've ever seen doing crazy shit

(07:26):
and an Elvis impersonator and a karate teacher get wrapped
up in an assassination plot to kill Baraco Bot. Like
it is insane just watching it. But like the sad
part about it was this, like the main character, you
go through his wife and he kind of like you know,
he starts off is like, yeah, he was a hard

(07:47):
working guy and then this one thing happened and he
just got obsessed with conspiracy theories and he lost his wife,
His kids don't talk to him, everybody calls him the
town crazy. And I gotta be honest, I empas, I
empathize with them a little bit. Everybody goes through well
probably not everybody, but I feel like every dumb guy

(08:07):
goes through a conspiracy theory stage in their life where
they're like, hey, man, things aren't adding up.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Man.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
Are you listening to what the government's telling us? Man?
But you gotta let that go at some point, you
know what I mean. If you start connecting dots that
don't make sense, you just gotta the illuminatis behind everything man.
And people are like, see, this is why we don't
invite you over to dinner parties. So you gotta let
that go at some point. Like the people now who

(08:36):
are like, uh, yeah, Luigi didn't do it. Man. The
CIA's point monopoly and they're just all laughing at us,
And was like, no, no, no, you're thinking too much.
It's just about money, Like no, no, no, the CIA,
how did they find them? They want all of our
data that's what they're doing, man, just connecting dots that
aren't there. I'm telling you, it's just geo tracking and

(08:58):
creating a profile of every single person to sell U
shit better. That's all it is. I've been in those
marketing meetings where Amazon and Google show you what kind
of information they have. It's crazy. If you go to
a Taco Bell and you're in their parking lot for
a certain amount of time, your phone starts sending information

(09:19):
out to whoever bought the advertising from Taco Bell on
the geolocation, and then they track you from going to
Taco Bell. Then maybe you went to Kohle's and they
create like a profile of who you are, so then
when you're on the internet, they just shoot targeting advertising
to you so that you want to buy shit. And
I gotta be honest, it works and it's very helpful.

(09:39):
The only problem is, you know they're taking away jobs,
so I don't know how much more money we're going
to have to buy things. But I'm just saying the
conspiracy theory stuff. It's fun, but you got to let
it go once you start getting to like reptilians are
in the White House, the CIA controls everything and those

(09:59):
you New Jersey aren't drones. They are aliens. It's like,
are they or do you think that the government's just
trying out some new drones or maybe Walmart's trying out
some big drones over New Jersey. Because they were flying
over the coast Guard. The coast Guard would have shot
them if they were aliens or they didn't know who

(10:22):
they were, They're shooting them. They're not just gonna wet
a drone follow the coast Guard. That's not how that works.
If you ever played Grand Theft Auto, if you go
into the airspace, the military airspace, you get six stars.
That's what happens. No, I love you okay, by Ames. See,
that's what happens. Guys start talking about conspiracy theories and

(10:44):
the women in your life walk away, That's what happens.
I'm sorry. I just I've been looking at the Internet
way too much. I got way too much time on
my hands, and I just I gotta be honest. I
I'm it's still shocked and ashamed of how much personal
information people put out on the Internet, like especially Facebook.

(11:08):
That's that's like reading the crazy community papers, you know
what I mean. It's like, hey, let's see what's going
on in the village today, and it's just people talking
about the most heartbreaking, embarrassing stuff that happens to him,
getting in fights with significant others on Facebook. I have
no idea why I'm even friends with the people. I

(11:29):
can't remember how I know them, but guess what I'm invested.
And if their baby daddy's you know, cheating, and she
had to change the locks on the door. So he
keeps trying to come back, but he won't see his
kids because he's a dead beat. I love it. I'm
just saying this this twenty twenty five, this new year
that's coming up. Don't make a New Year's resolution to

(11:52):
go to the gym. You're not going to go. Don't
try and eat healthier. Just get on ozepic. Okay, just
make a resolution for yourself to stop telling every single
person you're friends with on social media your problems because
one don't actually care. It's just purely for entertainment. Too.

(12:14):
Makes you look like a crazy person. Stop doing that.
Can you imagine if you actually like we're friends or
family with those people that do that. I know you
probably got one. The person that just posts way too
much stuff on social media. I'm not even talking about
crazy political stuff. You know, like we all have one
of those uncles or cousins. That stuff's just funny. You

(12:39):
get to rile them up at Thanksgiving or Christmas. I'm
talking about like the actual problems, you know what I mean,
Like nobody needs to know that you can't pay your rent,
your kids aren't gonna eat. Don't put that on Facebook,
you know what I mean. Keep that to yourself. Figure
out a way to make it happen. Okay, just you

(13:01):
got to stop doing that because evil mean people like
me are just laughing. Anyway, I tell you some now
that I made fun of people that were doing that.
I'll tell you some embarrassing stuff that happened to me
to make it fair. You ever, like want to be
friends with somebody or like think they're cool to be around,

(13:22):
but you just always say shit that'll make them not
like you. Like there's this person I've like worked with them.
You know, I thought they were good at what they did,
thought they were cool, but I just always had this
sense that they didn't like me because I just always
put my foot in my mouth. Like today, I hadn't

(13:43):
seen them for a long time. When saw them and
or I was just passing through when I saw him,
and I was like, hey, what's going on? And they
were trying to be all nice, you know, like be
invested in my wife. And they were like, uh, you're
getting engaged and I was like, you know eventually probably Yeah.

(14:03):
She was like no, I mean like over Christmas, and
I go, no, I'm not gonna be one of those
people that gets engaged over Christmas and then makes the
whole holiday about them, you know, like I was trying
to make it a joke, like it Christmas is about Jesus,
it's not about you and your significant other. And she goes, wow,

(14:24):
I did that. I was like, oh, sorry, Yeah, anyway,
I'm gonna go now. It's just one of those things
like regardless of how like I want to be cool
with this person, but I just I can never do it.
I just always say something where they're just like, yeah,
you're a piece of shit, and I gotta be right,

(14:45):
gotta be honest. They're probably right. She's just one of
those things where you're like, what are you gonna do?
Because that's one of those things where you can't take
it back. It's like if you see a baby and
you're like, Oh, that's an ugly baby, and they're like,
that's my baby, and you're like, I was just kidding
that good jeans on. That kid doesn't look like a
potato at all. All Right, I gotta wrap this up

(15:07):
pretty soon, but I do want to say before I
go to the show tonight. Got a show at the
Funny Stop tonight eight o'clock. You're not gonna come if
you're listening to this right now, or maybe you're already coming,
I don't know what you're doing. It's at eight o'clock.
I gotta show New Year's Eve opening for Pete Lee
at the Raleigh Improv. It's probably gonna be seven and

(15:30):
seven o'clock at a ten o'clock show. And then I
got a show at good Night's January the eighth. I
think that's an eight o'clock show. Follow me on social
media at Nick on Air Jordan. I post the flyers
of the show times all the time. I gotta be honest.
Gets a little frustrating because I'm realizing that people don't
read the shit that I post up there. I post

(15:52):
it all the time, Like this show that I'm doing tonight,
been posting about it for weeks. Been posting about it
for weeks. Hey, I'm on the show. Here's the place,
here's the time, Here's where you get tickets. I've had
multiple people ask me, Hey, what times the show tonight?
I've been posting it for a month. You're not reading

(16:12):
eight o'clock eight pm. It's right under where the place
is that the show's happening. People don't read. It makes
me think what am I doing wrong? Marketing? Huh? Do
I need to put a little more razzle dazzle on
there for you? Do I need to put a Subway

(16:35):
Runners video on top of what I'm posting to catch
her attention? Mm hmm? Do you have the attention span
of a goldfish? All right, let's get to your headline
of the week and then we'll get out here. Hey, Ames,
real quick, say something British perfect? Nailed it all right?

(16:59):
Really putting me on the spoilt eh? All right? Headline
of the week. Chicken nuggets are coming to Taco Bell
nationwide for a limited time today. Dipping sauces include Hidden
Valley Fire Ranch Sauce, Bell Sauce, and Jalapeno honey Mustard.

(17:19):
I love Taco Bell more than most people but I'll
tell you what. If you go to Taco Bell and
you get chicken nuggets, you deserve all the diarrhea that's
coming your way. You're gonna be peeing out of your butt.
Start looking for the animals in your area that were
there before that are not there now. Are the raccoons gone?

(17:43):
Are there no possums in the road? Have the dead
deer on the side of the road been cleaned up
surprisingly quick? Oh, the animals are just hibernating. No, Taco
Bell came out with chicken nuggets. Don't eat those? All right,
I gotta go do this show. Sorry for the late podcast.
I know you don't give a shit, but I'll have

(18:05):
another one for you Tuesday. Merry Christmas. Thanks for call.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
Money for Go, Money for Go, Money

Speaker 2 (18:11):
For Co, Money for