December 26, 2024 • 21 mins
Nick talks about SEC fans, and Santa not granting his christmas wish
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Why speaking that that should not have made it to
the rest of the time thoughts Dan, yo yo, welcome back.
That is way too loud. Got to turn that down
a little bit. I was screaming at you. Which way
(00:24):
am I going? What's wrong with That's a great way
to start podcast. Happy Boxing Day to all you Brits
because to everybody else, this is just the Thursday after Christmas? Eames,
what what do people do on Boxing Day? Again? I
(00:46):
guess people have like a second Christmas Day? So my
family was always like Christmas Day on Christmas Day and
an extended family was like second Christmas Day. So if
you didn't get invited to Christmas Day dinner, you're basic.
You're the b squad on Boxing days like yeah, all
the people that we don't love as much will see
you tomorrow. And that's how you do it. But hope,
(01:09):
hope you're enjoying the time off. Hope you're doing good.
I hope you're not getting a cold. I hope you
didn't go to Akron, Ohio to get the cold. It's
crazy every time I come up here after living in
like Texas, Georgia and North Carolina places with you know,
a lot nicer weather come up to Akron, Ohio, and
(01:32):
your immune system's got to toughen up a little bit. Man,
got everybody breathing on you, coughing on you, scratching their button,
wiping it on your food. It's tough. Man, got the
sniffles a little bit. But we're getting through. It's all right.
But I hope you're doing good. Hope everything. Hope you
got everything you wanted for Christmas. Hope you got to
(01:53):
see your fea bely did uh? Did Santa get you
everything you wanted? Did he? Hope he did. But the biggest,
the biggest story that's been going on is the college
(02:13):
football playoff. Man, we got Notre Dame and UGA on
New Year's Day. Oh my goodness. I could have not
have hoped for anything else. Like that was my Christmas present.
Notre Dame showed up for the big game against Indiana,
first ever college football expanded playoff game in a home stadium.
(02:35):
Notre Dame won. It was feeling real good. It's like
they get to play Uga. UGA's got their backup quarterback.
We got a chance of winning. Maybe we won't get
embarrassed on national TV. Got a shot to go to
the national title that's all I'm saying. That's what I'm thinking.
After the Indiana game and then the rest of the
game's play out, they were blowouts, and everybody gets on
(02:57):
TV it's like, well, yeah, probably should have put Alabama
old mess at South Carolina and these other teams are
butt chicks. They're terrible, and it's like, dude, can't you
just enjoy it that we had football going on? Can't
you just enjoy it? Now? We need to get the
SEC in there. That's what was missing. Bama, Ole Miss
(03:21):
in South Carolina would have all won, and then Texas
obviously would have won their game, so it would have
just been all SEC schools and then all the SEC
fans could have just jerked off together. I just I
gotta be honest. SEC fans are the worst, dude. They're
like anybody you know at your family that's like super
(03:42):
into their political party. Like I'm sure you talk to
them over the Christmas break like they're the best and
everybody else is less than them, and they can never
be wrong, you know what I mean. Like it's the
same thing, like conference fandom is so stupid to me.
Can't I want to go back to rooting against teams
in your conference if they were your rivals, Like if
you play somebody and they're in your con Like, Ohio
(04:06):
State fans don't root for Michigan to win, Dude, Now
they have to because you got to make sure that
the Big Ten is not getting blown out by SEC schools.
So Ohio State fans, so I had to root for
Michigan last year. That's stupid, Dude, root against the teams
that you hate. But now you got Alabama fans rooting
(04:29):
for you know, Texas and Georgia. Wayne Kiffen was all
over Twitter hyping up all the SEC teams, then went
quiet when Tennessee got the shit kicked out of them, Like,
that's the craziest thing to me. Like, Bro, if you're
gonna if you're gonna talk some trash when you're wrong,
you got to come out and accept the fact that
you were wrong. You can't just go, oh God, just
(04:52):
go take this time to spend Christmas up off off
my phone with my loved ones. No, you just didn't
want to get on there because everybody he's making fun
of you now, you idiot, Just like, can we go
back to hating teams that you're supposed to hate and
stop with this conference alignment, Like we're all on the
same team except when we play each other somehow, like
(05:15):
the political think got into college football. It's annoying, dude,
Like Kirk herb Street just absolutely showing out for the SEC.
Like actually, I don't think that wins matter. It's the
strength of schedule and you know the eye tests. So
like I see SEC teams play on the field, I
want them in the tournament, Like come on, dude, what
(05:38):
are we doing? Just it's always how it's been. Someone's
always gonna complain if you didn't get in this year.
That's what happens. You don't like write a big dissertation
on well Alabama should have been in there. No. One
of the best parts of the season was seeing Vanderbilt
beat Bama and then all the fans taking down the
goalposts and dragging it down way in Nashville. That was
(06:01):
one of the best scenes of college football this season.
That's why we love college football, not because the same
ten teams keep playing each other. It's gonna turn into
the NFL, Like come on, man. It was funny though,
because people started shutting up a little bit after Tennessee
(06:22):
got whooped and then the NFL games were on on
Christmas Day and the Chiefs and the Ravens both blew
out the Steelers and the Texans, and everybody was like, well,
they probably should have had some different teams in there,
you know what I mean, Like Christmas Day, you want
some closer like blowouts happened, dude. For whatever reason, some
(06:43):
matchups aren't as favorable for some teams. You just go like,
just play the game, and when your team gets to
blow out another team, you get happy. And when your
team gets blown out, you shut the fuck up for
a couple of weeks. That's what happens. Trust me, he's
a Notre Dame fan. I have not been able to
talk for a long time because every time Notre Dame
(07:04):
gets up into a nationally televised game or gets in
the playoffs or a big BCS game, they get shellacked.
And then you got to be quiet for a little bit.
You gotta hope that recruiting class coming in. You gotta
focus on other sports. That's what you get to do.
Not well, uh, my team should have been in You
(07:24):
see that team sucked. We should have been shut up, dude,
Indiana fans, I feel bad for them. Man, nobody's ever
cared about Indiana football. They finally, you know, get in
the playoff. They get whooped, and all the SEC teams
were like, oh, we that should have been us. Y'all
would have got whooped too, Dude. I saw Bama lose
(07:48):
to Vanderbilt in Oklahoma. They either played really good or
really bad. They were not a consistently good football team.
All miss same thing. Either had Jackson Dart looking like
an NFL quarterback or Jackson Dart throwing interceptions and then
going to the sideline and weeping. Not a consistently good
football But it's a strike tough schedule. No, they lost
(08:10):
to some bad teams. Notre Dame lost in Northern Illinois. Yeah,
that was one. It worked out in my favor as
a fan this time. That's how it goes. You got
to take it and shut up for a couple of weeks. Man,
go get really into NFL football or the NBA. Your
season's over, Okay, you'll be okay speaking of football, got
(08:31):
up to Ohio, like I said, for the Christmas holiday,
and every year we try and get like a football
game together with me and my buddies, and we're all,
you know, late twenties early thirties, so it's kind of fun.
Like last year, we had all of our friends, same
age group. It was funks. We were all like on
the same level of athleticism and not wanting to pull
(08:54):
a muscle. We're just playing flag football. But we went
to one of the high schools. We were playing, you know,
from the fifty yard line all the way to the
end zone. Good football game. Couldn't walk for three days
after I played last year, but it was fun. This year.
It was me and a couple of my buddies that
showed up, and then one of my buddies had a
(09:14):
bunch of younger cousins and his younger cousins friends pull up.
They're all like twenty one twenty two. I didn't realize
these kids were like D three wide receivers and juco
wide receivers. Get out there. First of all, it's twenty degrees.
That's probably why I got the sniffles. So I was
playing football in the twenty degree. Whether it's a bald guy,
you're not supposed to do that. I go out there,
(09:36):
we're playing. He's twenty one year olds absolutely ran it
up on us. It was tough, like it's instances like
that where you're like, how does Lebron James keep playing
basketball at the level he's playing at? You know what
I mean, because he's only eight years older than me,
still dominating. I know me and him are not the same,
(09:57):
but like I used to be athletic. Man, I got
mossed twice by a twenty one year old kid. Like
the first time it happened, you know, I'm in position,
I think I'm gonna get a pick. Dude just jumps
over me and I was like, Okay, that sucked, but
it was close. Second time it happened, same thing underthrown ball.
(10:17):
I'm going up for the pick. Kid comes back, I
get a hand on it. He tips it up over me,
runs around me, catches it, goes to the end zone.
I was like, I got moss twice. I can't play
football anymore. I'm done. And of course, you know, like
you go to sleep, you stop moving for a little bit.
You wake up the next day it feels like your
hips and your quads and hamstrings all have concrete in them.
(10:42):
It was tough, man. I'm just saying, if you're gonna
play sports, if you're gonna play athletic sports. You have
to stay in your age group. Okay, I'm thirty two.
I should not be playing sports with twenty one year olds.
I'm gonna hurt myself. Okay, if you're getting in your
late twenties, if you're in your early thirties and you're
(11:04):
not doing agility drills at least three times a week,
don't do it. You're gonna hurt yourself. You're gonna be
worse for wear, and it's gonna hurt your ego a
lot more than your body. It's now I'm walking around
like it used to be good at sports man. Now
I'm sitting here with gray hairs my beard, and I'm podcasting.
I'm like every dude that went up in the booth.
(11:25):
But yeah, I used to be able to do it. Okay,
anymore stuff feeling man, stuff feeling. But it's been fun
being up here. Ames got to see some some snow,
got a nice little snow covering up here in Akron,
Ohio one day, and then we went up to one
of my buddy's houses for his birthday party. She was
(11:48):
the d D so she was driving home and she
was driving home on a brick road for the first
time in the snow and it was just sliding around everywhere.
Now you know, I'd had a few beers, so I'm
like laughing. Eames, was it fun driving in the snow?
She was like what do? What do? And I was like, well,
(12:09):
you got to give it a little bit of gas,
but not too much because the tires will spin and
you'll go all over the place. She's like, I still
it helping. It was fun, though. You did good. You
did good, But we've been doing a bunch of other
Christmas stuff. Went to this place out in Medina, Ohio
called Castle Noel. If you're in the northeast Ohio area
(12:32):
where like you're visiting any white Christmas stuff, go to
this place. It's super cool. It's this guy just got
all the Christmas stuff from like every Christmas movie ever,
like the actual stuff, and put it in this room
and they have a bunch of different tour guides for
each room to give you the spiel about how they
got the stuff and Madonna and what movie was from.
(12:54):
They'll tell you a fun fact about it. It was cool,
except the guy who runs it. His name's Matt. Was
it mad or Mark Mark? Yeah? You like full on Christmas.
This guy like he even like looks like Santa Claus.
He has like a white beard. He's balled up top.
And Mark's the guy who I got all this stuff
(13:17):
into uh Castle Noel. So you go through like the
first three rooms and they're telling you everything about like
the stuff in there, and then they always throw in
something like and none of this would be possible without Mark,
and like after three rooms, you're like, okay, can we
quit blowing Mark for a second, Like is he paying
you to say nice things about him? And then you
(13:37):
get to the end and it opens up into this
big like Santa's Workshop looks like the Santa Claus. Like
they got the naughty and Nice list, they got the
actual sleigh from the Grinch, and they got the Grinch's
suit in there, and you're like, you know what, Mark
kind of balled out, So you know, I kind of
felt bad talking a bunch of shit about Mark, but
(13:59):
it was it was cool, And you get to meet
Santa Claus at the end too, and you get to
do it like Christmas Story. They got the actual scene
set up from the Christmas Story. Pig Hey got that out.
She's messing with the bulbs on the tree, you know
better than that got the cat up here. She's messing
with my mom's Christmas tree. But yeah, you get to
(14:22):
like go up like you're in a Christmas story to
meet Santa Claus. So me and my mom were doing
like every line from that movie, just standing in line
like I like the Wizard of Oz, like, don't don't
bother me, I'm thinking. So we get up there and
you get to meet Santa, and then he asked you
what you want for Christmas? And I gotta be honest,
Sam's kind of a bitch, I asked him. I was like, hey, Santa,
(14:46):
can I have one of my parlays hit? And he goes, oh,
I don't have much control over that. Ho. I felt
like Ralphie was like, you'll shoot your eye out, kid,
And you know, I just I really didn't appreciate that,
because Sant, if you're so magical, then you can have
some plays and some games bounce my way, so I
(15:06):
can have a parlay hit, create some generational wealth here.
Apparently maybe I've just been bad and he sensed it.
He looked into my saul and was like, you don't
deserve a parlay. Oh that's what it felt like. Oh
you got your your Stanley Cup. God names of Stanley
(15:28):
Cup for Christmas. She's an influencer now. But yeah, I
just I was kind of disappointed because, like I figured,
if there was anybody I could ask for a parlay
to hit, Santa would make it happen. Like I've been
asking God, he's not. He's not picking up the phone
every weekend. Have a ten team parlay down for like
(15:49):
thirty five grand. If it hits, I'll hit eight or
nine out of ten games. And then somebody like the
Panthers or the Cardinals messes it up for me. So
I was like, you know what, I'll ask Santa, that's
Christmas time. Has it happened? No? But it's okay. Well
we'll keep trying because the best part about gambling is
you're only a loser if you quit, right Ames, Yeah, yeah,
(16:13):
she's pretty tired of it. All right, let's uh, let's
get to your headline and the way oh wait, before
the headline of the league, did you see all this?
You guys been keeping up with? Uh, the Luigi Mangioni story,
it's hilarious, Like they did the big purp walk walked
him down to jail with a bunch of armed guards.
(16:36):
The mayor was there, the police commissioner, and NYPD was
taking a bunch of Instagram photos like walking walking him
into the private jet to get him to jail. I
was like, they're treating this dude like he's a mass murder.
He just killed one guy. I know, murder's bad, but
you know he was a father. Yeah, well kill one guy. Like,
(17:00):
not gonna do anything else about any of the other
mass shooting. I've never seen anybody care about somebody shooting this. Uh,
somebody getting killed as much. Like the Home Winds Security
secretary said, the rhetoric on social media following this extraordinarily
alarming set of events was terrifying. It speaks of what
(17:22):
is really bubbling here in this country. And unfortunately we
see that, uh, we see that manifested in violence, the
domestic violent extremism that exists, the terrorism cannot be tolerated.
That's that's kind of one of those things where we're
just like, oh, okay, it's only it's only bad when
one of the rich people on your team, gets hit, right,
(17:44):
that's what happens. Go school shooting. Oh well, can't do
anything about that, but one of one of the guys
that's helping you out. He gets popped. Now it's like, well, this,
this is terrorism, this is the unconstitutional. It can't have
this happening. It's like, dude, come on, man, you're making it.
(18:04):
You're making it tough for everybody who's like trying to
defend that. You know, it's not actually as bad in
this country as we want to say it is. It's
like you kind of prove the point. All right, let's
get your headline of the week. This might hit home
with some of you. Off you just bought some stuff
for your kids. Screen time is rewiring preschoolers brains and
(18:26):
disrupting family life. Hey, if you're getting a phone or
an iPad for your preschooler, they're gonna grow up to
be a stupid kid. I'm sorry, Just don't don't do that.
You know what the phone does to you, You know
what I mean? You just sit and scroll for a
long time. Do you ever feel good after doing that? No,
it makes you feel bad. Imagine doing that like a
(18:49):
brand new brain. They just like they're so used to
have an input shot into their brain. They get bad
at the output. They don't know how to talk, they
don't know how to you know, be a regular person,
and then you wonder why they're acting out, like, please, parents,
I know I don't have kids. I have a Cat's
(19:09):
like the same thing. I would never never shove a
phone in my cat's face for eight hours a day.
I would never do that. We'll just leave it at home,
put some food in its uh and it's ball, and
go enjoy my life and not worry about it because
it's a cat. But seriously, like it messes up their brains,
makes it tougher for them to sleep, gives them hyperactive
(19:33):
attention difficulties, emotional symptoms like free point, complaints of feeling unwell,
pure problems like being lonely or preferring solitary play. The
solitary play things not that bad, because you know some
people like to be wet by themselves. But just quit
shoving phones and iPads in front of your kids just
so they'll shut up. Like, just talk to your kids.
(19:55):
You had a kid, pay attention to it. Okay, pay
more attention your dog. Then you do your kid, like,
shut up, we're at dinner here, look at the iPad,
watch Coco melon. Don't do that. It's gonna friday. Wild brains,
all right, I hope you guys have a good rest
of the year. I know these normally drop on Tuesdays.
(20:16):
Been doing them on Thursdays the last couple weeks just
because of the holidays, timing and all that stuff. But
get back to doing that. Got some shows coming up
New Year's Eve opening for Pete Lee, two shows at
the Raleigh improv Get tickets for that. Got a show
featuring for cats see at Good Nights January eighth, and
(20:41):
then gonna be doing a show in New York at
the Whiskey Seller on January twelveth. So follow my socials
at Nick on Air Jordan. Go get some tickets and
then make all that happen. It'll be good. Enjoy the
rest of the year, think about what kind of New
Year's resolution you want to have, and uh, trying to
(21:02):
be happy. All right, that's it. Thanks for cout, money
for money for CO money for CO money,
Why speaking that that should not have made it to
the rest of the time thoughts Dan, yo yo, welcome back.
That is way too loud. Got to turn that down
a little bit. I was screaming at you. Which way
(00:24):
am I going? What's wrong with That's a great way
to start podcast. Happy Boxing Day to all you Brits
because to everybody else, this is just the Thursday after Christmas? Eames,
what what do people do on Boxing Day? Again? I
(00:46):
guess people have like a second Christmas Day? So my
family was always like Christmas Day on Christmas Day and
an extended family was like second Christmas Day. So if
you didn't get invited to Christmas Day dinner, you're basic.
You're the b squad on Boxing days like yeah, all
the people that we don't love as much will see
you tomorrow. And that's how you do it. But hope,
(01:09):
hope you're enjoying the time off. Hope you're doing good.
I hope you're not getting a cold. I hope you
didn't go to Akron, Ohio to get the cold. It's
crazy every time I come up here after living in
like Texas, Georgia and North Carolina places with you know,
a lot nicer weather come up to Akron, Ohio, and
(01:32):
your immune system's got to toughen up a little bit. Man,
got everybody breathing on you, coughing on you, scratching their button,
wiping it on your food. It's tough. Man, got the
sniffles a little bit. But we're getting through. It's all right.
But I hope you're doing good. Hope everything. Hope you
got everything you wanted for Christmas. Hope you got to
(01:53):
see your fea bely did uh? Did Santa get you
everything you wanted? Did he? Hope he did. But the biggest,
the biggest story that's been going on is the college
(02:13):
football playoff. Man, we got Notre Dame and UGA on
New Year's Day. Oh my goodness. I could have not
have hoped for anything else. Like that was my Christmas present.
Notre Dame showed up for the big game against Indiana,
first ever college football expanded playoff game in a home stadium.
(02:35):
Notre Dame won. It was feeling real good. It's like
they get to play Uga. UGA's got their backup quarterback.
We got a chance of winning. Maybe we won't get
embarrassed on national TV. Got a shot to go to
the national title that's all I'm saying. That's what I'm thinking.
After the Indiana game and then the rest of the
game's play out, they were blowouts, and everybody gets on
(02:57):
TV it's like, well, yeah, probably should have put Alabama
old mess at South Carolina and these other teams are
butt chicks. They're terrible, and it's like, dude, can't you
just enjoy it that we had football going on? Can't
you just enjoy it? Now? We need to get the
SEC in there. That's what was missing. Bama, Ole Miss
(03:21):
in South Carolina would have all won, and then Texas
obviously would have won their game, so it would have
just been all SEC schools and then all the SEC
fans could have just jerked off together. I just I
gotta be honest. SEC fans are the worst, dude. They're
like anybody you know at your family that's like super
(03:42):
into their political party. Like I'm sure you talk to
them over the Christmas break like they're the best and
everybody else is less than them, and they can never
be wrong, you know what I mean. Like it's the
same thing, like conference fandom is so stupid to me.
Can't I want to go back to rooting against teams
in your conference if they were your rivals, Like if
you play somebody and they're in your con Like, Ohio
(04:06):
State fans don't root for Michigan to win, Dude, Now
they have to because you got to make sure that
the Big Ten is not getting blown out by SEC schools.
So Ohio State fans, so I had to root for
Michigan last year. That's stupid, Dude, root against the teams
that you hate. But now you got Alabama fans rooting
(04:29):
for you know, Texas and Georgia. Wayne Kiffen was all
over Twitter hyping up all the SEC teams, then went
quiet when Tennessee got the shit kicked out of them, Like,
that's the craziest thing to me. Like, Bro, if you're
gonna if you're gonna talk some trash when you're wrong,
you got to come out and accept the fact that
you were wrong. You can't just go, oh God, just
(04:52):
go take this time to spend Christmas up off off
my phone with my loved ones. No, you just didn't
want to get on there because everybody he's making fun
of you now, you idiot, Just like, can we go
back to hating teams that you're supposed to hate and
stop with this conference alignment, Like we're all on the
same team except when we play each other somehow, like
(05:15):
the political think got into college football. It's annoying, dude,
Like Kirk herb Street just absolutely showing out for the SEC.
Like actually, I don't think that wins matter. It's the
strength of schedule and you know the eye tests. So
like I see SEC teams play on the field, I
want them in the tournament, Like come on, dude, what
(05:38):
are we doing? Just it's always how it's been. Someone's
always gonna complain if you didn't get in this year.
That's what happens. You don't like write a big dissertation
on well Alabama should have been in there. No. One
of the best parts of the season was seeing Vanderbilt
beat Bama and then all the fans taking down the
goalposts and dragging it down way in Nashville. That was
(06:01):
one of the best scenes of college football this season.
That's why we love college football, not because the same
ten teams keep playing each other. It's gonna turn into
the NFL, Like come on, man. It was funny though,
because people started shutting up a little bit after Tennessee
(06:22):
got whooped and then the NFL games were on on
Christmas Day and the Chiefs and the Ravens both blew
out the Steelers and the Texans, and everybody was like, well,
they probably should have had some different teams in there,
you know what I mean, Like Christmas Day, you want
some closer like blowouts happened, dude. For whatever reason, some
(06:43):
matchups aren't as favorable for some teams. You just go like,
just play the game, and when your team gets to
blow out another team, you get happy. And when your
team gets blown out, you shut the fuck up for
a couple of weeks. That's what happens. Trust me, he's
a Notre Dame fan. I have not been able to
talk for a long time because every time Notre Dame
(07:04):
gets up into a nationally televised game or gets in
the playoffs or a big BCS game, they get shellacked.
And then you got to be quiet for a little bit.
You gotta hope that recruiting class coming in. You gotta
focus on other sports. That's what you get to do.
Not well, uh, my team should have been in You
(07:24):
see that team sucked. We should have been shut up, dude,
Indiana fans, I feel bad for them. Man, nobody's ever
cared about Indiana football. They finally, you know, get in
the playoff. They get whooped, and all the SEC teams
were like, oh, we that should have been us. Y'all
would have got whooped too, Dude. I saw Bama lose
(07:48):
to Vanderbilt in Oklahoma. They either played really good or
really bad. They were not a consistently good football team.
All miss same thing. Either had Jackson Dart looking like
an NFL quarterback or Jackson Dart throwing interceptions and then
going to the sideline and weeping. Not a consistently good
football But it's a strike tough schedule. No, they lost
(08:10):
to some bad teams. Notre Dame lost in Northern Illinois. Yeah,
that was one. It worked out in my favor as
a fan this time. That's how it goes. You got
to take it and shut up for a couple of weeks. Man,
go get really into NFL football or the NBA. Your
season's over, Okay, you'll be okay speaking of football, got
(08:31):
up to Ohio, like I said, for the Christmas holiday,
and every year we try and get like a football
game together with me and my buddies, and we're all,
you know, late twenties early thirties, so it's kind of fun.
Like last year, we had all of our friends, same
age group. It was funks. We were all like on
the same level of athleticism and not wanting to pull
(08:54):
a muscle. We're just playing flag football. But we went
to one of the high schools. We were playing, you know,
from the fifty yard line all the way to the
end zone. Good football game. Couldn't walk for three days
after I played last year, but it was fun. This year.
It was me and a couple of my buddies that
showed up, and then one of my buddies had a
(09:14):
bunch of younger cousins and his younger cousins friends pull up.
They're all like twenty one twenty two. I didn't realize
these kids were like D three wide receivers and juco
wide receivers. Get out there. First of all, it's twenty degrees.
That's probably why I got the sniffles. So I was
playing football in the twenty degree. Whether it's a bald guy,
you're not supposed to do that. I go out there,
(09:36):
we're playing. He's twenty one year olds absolutely ran it
up on us. It was tough, like it's instances like
that where you're like, how does Lebron James keep playing
basketball at the level he's playing at? You know what
I mean, because he's only eight years older than me,
still dominating. I know me and him are not the same,
(09:57):
but like I used to be athletic. Man, I got
mossed twice by a twenty one year old kid. Like
the first time it happened, you know, I'm in position,
I think I'm gonna get a pick. Dude just jumps
over me and I was like, Okay, that sucked, but
it was close. Second time it happened, same thing underthrown ball.
(10:17):
I'm going up for the pick. Kid comes back, I
get a hand on it. He tips it up over me,
runs around me, catches it, goes to the end zone.
I was like, I got moss twice. I can't play
football anymore. I'm done. And of course, you know, like
you go to sleep, you stop moving for a little bit.
You wake up the next day it feels like your
hips and your quads and hamstrings all have concrete in them.
(10:42):
It was tough, man. I'm just saying, if you're gonna
play sports, if you're gonna play athletic sports. You have
to stay in your age group. Okay, I'm thirty two.
I should not be playing sports with twenty one year olds.
I'm gonna hurt myself. Okay, if you're getting in your
late twenties, if you're in your early thirties and you're
(11:04):
not doing agility drills at least three times a week,
don't do it. You're gonna hurt yourself. You're gonna be
worse for wear, and it's gonna hurt your ego a
lot more than your body. It's now I'm walking around
like it used to be good at sports man. Now
I'm sitting here with gray hairs my beard, and I'm podcasting.
I'm like every dude that went up in the booth.
(11:25):
But yeah, I used to be able to do it. Okay,
anymore stuff feeling man, stuff feeling. But it's been fun
being up here. Ames got to see some some snow,
got a nice little snow covering up here in Akron,
Ohio one day, and then we went up to one
of my buddy's houses for his birthday party. She was
(11:48):
the d D so she was driving home and she
was driving home on a brick road for the first
time in the snow and it was just sliding around everywhere.
Now you know, I'd had a few beers, so I'm
like laughing. Eames, was it fun driving in the snow?
She was like what do? What do? And I was like, well,
(12:09):
you got to give it a little bit of gas,
but not too much because the tires will spin and
you'll go all over the place. She's like, I still
it helping. It was fun, though. You did good. You
did good, But we've been doing a bunch of other
Christmas stuff. Went to this place out in Medina, Ohio
called Castle Noel. If you're in the northeast Ohio area
(12:32):
where like you're visiting any white Christmas stuff, go to
this place. It's super cool. It's this guy just got
all the Christmas stuff from like every Christmas movie ever,
like the actual stuff, and put it in this room
and they have a bunch of different tour guides for
each room to give you the spiel about how they
got the stuff and Madonna and what movie was from.
(12:54):
They'll tell you a fun fact about it. It was cool,
except the guy who runs it. His name's Matt. Was
it mad or Mark Mark? Yeah? You like full on Christmas.
This guy like he even like looks like Santa Claus.
He has like a white beard. He's balled up top.
And Mark's the guy who I got all this stuff
(13:17):
into uh Castle Noel. So you go through like the
first three rooms and they're telling you everything about like
the stuff in there, and then they always throw in
something like and none of this would be possible without Mark,
and like after three rooms, you're like, okay, can we
quit blowing Mark for a second, Like is he paying
you to say nice things about him? And then you
(13:37):
get to the end and it opens up into this
big like Santa's Workshop looks like the Santa Claus. Like
they got the naughty and Nice list, they got the
actual sleigh from the Grinch, and they got the Grinch's
suit in there, and you're like, you know what, Mark
kind of balled out, So you know, I kind of
felt bad talking a bunch of shit about Mark, but
(13:59):
it was it was cool, And you get to meet
Santa Claus at the end too, and you get to
do it like Christmas Story. They got the actual scene
set up from the Christmas Story. Pig Hey got that out.
She's messing with the bulbs on the tree, you know
better than that got the cat up here. She's messing
with my mom's Christmas tree. But yeah, you get to
(14:22):
like go up like you're in a Christmas story to
meet Santa Claus. So me and my mom were doing
like every line from that movie, just standing in line
like I like the Wizard of Oz, like, don't don't
bother me, I'm thinking. So we get up there and
you get to meet Santa, and then he asked you
what you want for Christmas? And I gotta be honest,
Sam's kind of a bitch, I asked him. I was like, hey, Santa,
(14:46):
can I have one of my parlays hit? And he goes, oh,
I don't have much control over that. Ho. I felt
like Ralphie was like, you'll shoot your eye out, kid,
And you know, I just I really didn't appreciate that,
because Sant, if you're so magical, then you can have
some plays and some games bounce my way, so I
(15:06):
can have a parlay hit, create some generational wealth here.
Apparently maybe I've just been bad and he sensed it.
He looked into my saul and was like, you don't
deserve a parlay. Oh that's what it felt like. Oh
you got your your Stanley Cup. God names of Stanley
(15:28):
Cup for Christmas. She's an influencer now. But yeah, I
just I was kind of disappointed because, like I figured,
if there was anybody I could ask for a parlay
to hit, Santa would make it happen. Like I've been
asking God, he's not. He's not picking up the phone
every weekend. Have a ten team parlay down for like
(15:49):
thirty five grand. If it hits, I'll hit eight or
nine out of ten games. And then somebody like the
Panthers or the Cardinals messes it up for me. So
I was like, you know what, I'll ask Santa, that's
Christmas time. Has it happened? No? But it's okay. Well
we'll keep trying because the best part about gambling is
you're only a loser if you quit, right Ames, Yeah, yeah,
(16:13):
she's pretty tired of it. All right, let's uh, let's
get to your headline and the way oh wait, before
the headline of the league, did you see all this?
You guys been keeping up with? Uh, the Luigi Mangioni story,
it's hilarious, Like they did the big purp walk walked
him down to jail with a bunch of armed guards.
(16:36):
The mayor was there, the police commissioner, and NYPD was
taking a bunch of Instagram photos like walking walking him
into the private jet to get him to jail. I
was like, they're treating this dude like he's a mass murder.
He just killed one guy. I know, murder's bad, but
you know he was a father. Yeah, well kill one guy. Like,
(17:00):
not gonna do anything else about any of the other
mass shooting. I've never seen anybody care about somebody shooting this. Uh,
somebody getting killed as much. Like the Home Winds Security
secretary said, the rhetoric on social media following this extraordinarily
alarming set of events was terrifying. It speaks of what
(17:22):
is really bubbling here in this country. And unfortunately we
see that, uh, we see that manifested in violence, the
domestic violent extremism that exists, the terrorism cannot be tolerated.
That's that's kind of one of those things where we're
just like, oh, okay, it's only it's only bad when
one of the rich people on your team, gets hit, right,
(17:44):
that's what happens. Go school shooting. Oh well, can't do
anything about that, but one of one of the guys
that's helping you out. He gets popped. Now it's like, well, this,
this is terrorism, this is the unconstitutional. It can't have
this happening. It's like, dude, come on, man, you're making it.
(18:04):
You're making it tough for everybody who's like trying to
defend that. You know, it's not actually as bad in
this country as we want to say it is. It's
like you kind of prove the point. All right, let's
get your headline of the week. This might hit home
with some of you. Off you just bought some stuff
for your kids. Screen time is rewiring preschoolers brains and
(18:26):
disrupting family life. Hey, if you're getting a phone or
an iPad for your preschooler, they're gonna grow up to
be a stupid kid. I'm sorry, Just don't don't do that.
You know what the phone does to you, You know
what I mean? You just sit and scroll for a
long time. Do you ever feel good after doing that? No,
it makes you feel bad. Imagine doing that like a
(18:49):
brand new brain. They just like they're so used to
have an input shot into their brain. They get bad
at the output. They don't know how to talk, they
don't know how to you know, be a regular person,
and then you wonder why they're acting out, like, please, parents,
I know I don't have kids. I have a Cat's
(19:09):
like the same thing. I would never never shove a
phone in my cat's face for eight hours a day.
I would never do that. We'll just leave it at home,
put some food in its uh and it's ball, and
go enjoy my life and not worry about it because
it's a cat. But seriously, like it messes up their brains,
makes it tougher for them to sleep, gives them hyperactive
(19:33):
attention difficulties, emotional symptoms like free point, complaints of feeling unwell,
pure problems like being lonely or preferring solitary play. The
solitary play things not that bad, because you know some
people like to be wet by themselves. But just quit
shoving phones and iPads in front of your kids just
so they'll shut up. Like, just talk to your kids.
(19:55):
You had a kid, pay attention to it. Okay, pay
more attention your dog. Then you do your kid, like,
shut up, we're at dinner here, look at the iPad,
watch Coco melon. Don't do that. It's gonna friday. Wild brains,
all right, I hope you guys have a good rest
of the year. I know these normally drop on Tuesdays.
(20:16):
Been doing them on Thursdays the last couple weeks just
because of the holidays, timing and all that stuff. But
get back to doing that. Got some shows coming up
New Year's Eve opening for Pete Lee, two shows at
the Raleigh improv Get tickets for that. Got a show
featuring for cats see at Good Nights January eighth, and
(20:41):
then gonna be doing a show in New York at
the Whiskey Seller on January twelveth. So follow my socials
at Nick on Air Jordan. Go get some tickets and
then make all that happen. It'll be good. Enjoy the
rest of the year, think about what kind of New
Year's resolution you want to have, and uh, trying to
(21:02):
be happy. All right, that's it. Thanks for cout, money
for money for CO money for CO money,
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