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December 24, 2025 • 34 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is The Jesse Kelly Show, another hour of The
Jesse Kelly Show on a magnificent Wednesday. So you know
what's about to come up this hour. I'll get to
that here in a few I should let you know
in hour three there's some hopeful signs on the horizon
about all this advancement in technology AI. I'll tell you

(00:24):
about something hopeful something terrible about the GOP. We'll again
talk at least briefly about influencer campaigns. It looks like
we've got some impeachments coming down the pike. Emails, all that,
so much more coming up in the third hour of
The Jesse Kelly Show. But it's hour two, and as promised,

(00:46):
we are now going to pick up where we left
off last night and continue our history, a history not
many people know about the Rhodesian Bush War. If you
missed a lot of the bad background, and so much
of it was background, It was tribal stuff. And if
you miss that, I don't have time to recap it

(01:07):
for you. Now we must move on in the story.
iHeart Spotify iTunes. You can go download the podcast. It's
all free. There's no charge for any of this. Our
two of last night. We gave a lot of the background.
Your thirty second to one minute background. Is this. A

(01:28):
man named Cecil Rhodes grabbed a bunch of miners, other people, yes,
women and children, walked into a tribal land, a tribal
land that had stuff he wanted. They started to mine there.
There were two historically there were more, but two main
rival tribes there who'd hated each other and slaid each other,

(01:50):
slaughtered each other, raped each other, and burned each other
alive for a very long time. At some point they
did it in front of the Europeans. There was a
big uprising. The Europeans were mortified by such savagery, and
they stepped up and they said, okay, this place is
kind of ours. Now this is done. You all, you people,

(02:12):
you tribes, you tribesmen, you go over there. You other tribesmen,
you go over there. Now, this is what colonization looked
like a lot of the time. We're about to lay
it out for the British Empire. Remember when your history
professor in college was whining and crying about colonialism. That's

(02:35):
actually kind of a ridiculous term because there are so
many different ways to quote colonize. A country. And let's
be honest right now, colonization is simply a more peaceful
form of conquest. That's what it is. So let's just
call it all conquest, shall we. There is a spectrum,

(02:59):
isn't there? We could go with the old. Well, the
easiest one would be Genghis Khan form of conquest. Hey,
I really like your lands. I think I shall take
my gigantic army in there and i will slaughter every man,
woman and child. I'll even send a rearguard back to

(03:19):
your city to ensure I killed all the pets, and
then I'll move in. That is obviously an extreme end
of that spectrum, but that's how conquest has been done.
Then there are other types. The French. The French would
be more likely to kind of not really move in,

(03:40):
but trade with you, right, They'll provide security, they'll trade
with you. The Spanish. The Spanish were about as hands
off with so much of their conquest as you can be.
And I know about the Spanish conquest of Mexico and whatnot,
but the Spanish and all their colonization or conquest, they
really just kind of wanted the gold. Hey, just give
me some gold. Do you have any gold. I'll take

(04:02):
some gold. The British, in my opinion, did it smarter
than anyone else, because here's what the British always believed
about conquering colonizing any place. The British believed that you
should move in. They believe that possession was nine tenths
of the law. And you can't ever really grab control

(04:24):
of a place just by sending emissaries from Afar and
picking up a shipment of gold along the coast. No,
you needed your people physically building homes and schools and roads.
You need your people moving in and setting up shop.
But wait, there's more. I don't want to make it

(04:45):
sound all bad if you're against conquest. They also believed
in integrating the local population as you moved in. The
Brits did not want to lot or everybody. They actually
didn't want to send everyone away as refugees. And we're

(05:06):
talking about this spot in Africa Africa here, but Britain
did this in many other places. They wanted to find
a way where, Yes, they took over. I'm not making
them sound completely magnanimous here. They wanted to take over,
but they also wanted to Hey, all these tribes and
things like that, look will help you out too. How

(05:27):
About how about some clothes, how about a job, how
about access to medicine, how about how let's let's help
let us help you too. You are gonna work for
us like you're gonna work under us. Let's be honest,
but we're gonna help each other here. Your life will
be better. And I don't want to act as if

(05:47):
they did this just out of the kindness of their hearts.
Of course there'd be some of that, but really for
the Brits, and this is why I think it was
so brilliant, it just made more sense. We want to
take the place, we want to take it over. Slaughtering
everybody generally doesn't work. It's hard to do, it's hard
to maintain. As we've talked about before in the show,

(06:08):
you can't really kill your way out of a problem.
Usually that's difficult. But if you can somehow make the
people you're conquering, make their day to day lives better,
then you have to deal with a lot less rebellion,
a lot fewer problems. They might even go along with it,
And in fact, Rhodesia eventually we're not quite there yet.

(06:33):
Rhodesia kind of gets to that place for a while.
But right now we are post this little tribal war.
The English are mortified. The Europeans in Zimbabwe are mortified,
and they say, Okay, enough is enough. Now it's ours.
But what does it's ours mean? Well, let's talk about
what it was before the Europeans got there. As you know,

(06:55):
tribal lands. But what does that mean tribal lands? Well,
a tribe, at least these tribes, the way they worked,
they would find some remote area, well it's all remote
and there's no civilization. They'd find an area that had
things they needed. And what does every tribe need? Every
tribe needs some way to eat. Maybe you're a hunting tribe.

(07:16):
Maybe you do agriculture. Every tribe needs water. Let's find
a river, let's find something. Tribes are going to find
locations that work for them, and that's where they're going
to build their village, their huts. That's how it's going
to work. And in many ways, the tribes were extremely isolated.

(07:39):
The villages were isolated from each other. These were people
who didn't build roads, they didn't have the wheel. You
as a young boy, I mentioned the two tribes yesterday.
I'll mention them again. These Shona and the Indo Belly
and by the way, the Indibelly go buy several names.
I'm just calling them into belly, the Shona in the

(08:01):
end of belly. If you were a young boy, you
were born in this village, this Indobelly village, there is
a reasonable chance you never left. Yeah, you would go
out and you would go hunt, or maybe you would
go to war or something like that. But you certainly
didn't bounce around the country. We modern day people, certainly

(08:22):
modern day Americans. Anyone, anyone living in a first world
country listening to me right now, you've been on a
road trip. How abnout you? Maybe you still live in
your hometown, but you know what a place one hundred
miles from you looks like, don't you? Of course you're
almost probably scoffing and laughing. Of course everyone does. Maybe

(08:43):
you've even been on a plane. That way of thinking
is totally foreign to these people who live in this area.
What's one of the very first things the Europeans start
to do. Roads, They start to build roads, they start
to build train tracks. Why well, they're moving goods and

(09:06):
services and people to and fro and now they're connecting
villages that had previously never been connected before. The African
people in some time, in some ways they're moving to
and fro in ways they've never moved before. And in

(09:27):
some ways they're getting run out of an area. If
the English, if the europe let's stop calling them English,
because there were people from all over the European world.
If the Europeans wanted that area, remember they decided they
were in charge now they said you need to leave. Well,

(09:48):
they were also integrating the local population, as I mentioned,
they tried to do that. They really believed in doing that.
Let's find a way to weave these people into our society.
And I remember there weren't very many Europeans at the time,
not very many at all. There were way outnumbered by
the tribesmen. So crime, for instance, you don't have this

(10:13):
large European police force, what do you do for cops?
Every area needs cops. Well, that can create problems if
you don't understand the area you're taking over. We'll get
to those problems in a moment. It is the Jesse
Kelly Show on a fantastic, fantastic Wednesday, a hump Day,

(10:35):
doing part two of our history of the Rhodesian Bush War.
Remember you can email us your love, your hate, your
death threats Jesse at jesse kellyshow dot com. The Europeans
are starting to take over. They're starting to build roads,
they're starting to build trains. They're starting to connect African
villages that have never been connected before. They're starting to
run Africans out of certain places. Now, this is where,

(10:59):
this is why I keep bringing up the two tribes,
because these two tribes, the fact that there are two
tribes who hate each other, is always going to come
into play in this entire story, right up to the
horrible brutal ending of it. Not to give the whole
thing away. Remember before these guys even got here, the

(11:22):
Shona had been conquered by the end of Belly. They
were slaves under the end of Belly. Those kinds of
hard feelings don't go away easily. And the Europeans just
got there, they just arrived five minutes ago. It's hard
to understand everything about the culture you're conquering. It's hard

(11:45):
to understand old tribal rivalries and bad blood. It's hard
to understand the religious significance, different significance of different things,
for instance, And this is going to come into play
for virtually all these tribes. You know what was really
a currency for them, almost a sacred level of currency,

(12:06):
a status symbol. Cattle. How many cattle do how many
cows do you have? You have a lot of cattle.
Oh you've only got three? Oh that sucks, Chris, I've
got five. Must suck to be so low class. I mean,
you're laughing, But that's how that's how it worked. If
you were a king, part of that status would be
look at all of our cattle. Well what are cattle

(12:27):
to the Europeans at this point in time? Just what
they're beef? It's beef or its milk. It's no big deal.
You raise them, you kill them, whatever. It's just one
of those things they didn't quite get. They also needed
a police force, and they're trying to integrate the local tribes.
But let me ask you something. Do you ever have

(12:48):
any bad blood in your family? Every family has it,
maybe even in your town, a rival town, a rival family. Arrival,
this arrival that I want you to imagine this when
it comes to Zimbabwe that we're talking about right now.
Let's say your people, your people had historically kept the

(13:12):
Shona as slaves and slavery, remember, was not touchy feely,
not at all ugly things for women children. Let's just
say maybe your mother had been a slave of the indobelly.
You're now twenty five years old. Your mother raised you

(13:36):
with those stories of what the indibelly did to them.
The Europeans knock on the door of your hut and
they're handing you a policeman's uniform because now you are
going to help police some of the indobelly areas and

(13:59):
you have the power power of law enforcement behind your badge.
You don't have some oath you take or even believe in.
You're a tribesman who's historically been at war, and that
tribe has historically abused your family, and now you're about
to get a weapon and two or three of your

(14:20):
cop buddies and you're about to walk into their area.
Do you think there would be any temptation to abuse
that kind of power. This happened often. The Europeans were
having and will always have such a difficult time keeping

(14:43):
the tribes separate from each other, understanding the depth of
hatred they have for each other. There was African police abuse,
African on African police abuse all over the place, bind
that with this. I already talked about historically how these

(15:04):
tribes work. They lived in their little villages. Now they're
being moved onto what are essentially reservations. They're getting moved
away from their historic homelands. They're not thrilled about it. Now,
let's add one more element to it. And this is
a long complicated affair. For the sake of not having
this be a ten episode thing, I'm fast forwarding through

(15:26):
some things. There gets to be a plague with the cows.
What do the Europeans do when there is a cow plague?
They do what any civilized society would do, and they
start to kill the cows. I just got done explaining
cows are sacred to these people, a status symbol to

(15:51):
these people. As a European, you may have everyone's best
interests at heart. When you send a few guys onto
somebody's life land and shoot twenty of his cows in
the head, he is almost undoubtedly going to interpret that
act differently than you do. It's bad. Rebellion breaks out.

(16:18):
Rebellion breaks out. In fact, you should know. I won't
tell you the name of it, because it's another detail
I'm already drowning you in details. But they consider the
Rhodesian Bush War to be the second version of this rebellion.
That's what they call it. This is the first of
these rebellions. The tribes rise up, they rebel They are

(16:41):
not as technologically advanced. They do, however, have the numbers.
It's slaughter, it's destruction. They're doing things like one miner.
He had worked with ten Africans on a mine for
a long time. He then found himself with them crawling
into the mind trying to beat him to death one night.

(17:05):
There are some stories I'll tell you in a moment.
We'll be back. It is the Jesse Kelly Show on
a Wonderful Wednesday, talking about the land down under Africa tonight.
As we go, quit what, Chris, I'm not a geologist,
all right, I don't know everything. All right. Back to
our history of the Rhodesian Bush War. The Europeans had

(17:26):
set up the trains, they'd set up the villages. The
tribes were hating each other. The tribes were not liking
this European rule, and they broke out in rebellion. Now,
this is nothing like the rebellion that will happen during
the Rhodesian Bush War. This is completely disorganized. There aren't
any central leaders. And remember the two tribes hate each

(17:48):
other as much as they hate the Europeans. So what
does this rebellion look like? It sounds horrifying, but it's
essentially small areas where panic gets inflamed, anger gets inflamed,
and it's oftentimes led by local religious leaders, local tribal

(18:11):
religious leaders, you know, all these weird tribal false religions.
Local religious leaders would get their local area to rise
up against the white invaders, the European invaders. I told
you briefly about that story of the miner. Well you
know how most of that story went. He walked out
of his house to find ten Africans who he had

(18:34):
worked with on the mine, not slaves or something like that,
you know, working with them every day lunch wages. That
there were co workers with war clubs. This animal manages
to wrestle one of the war clubs from him. They
start beating him. He starts swinging back and beating them.
He makes his way all the way into the mind

(18:55):
shaft where he rolls down into the mind shaft, and
then he has more miners in the mind shaft who
he's worked with who he thinks will come to his aid,
and they start beating him too. He starts fighting them off.
He's fighting his way through the mines. These things happen.
In another incident, two guys are sitting there, there are

(19:17):
women and children hidden behind them, and the tribesmen have
surrounded the mine and they are essentially getting ready to
kill everyone in it. The two dudes make a break
for it. What are they making a break for. They're
going for the telegraph line so they can telegraph for
help so the women and children won't die. They book it,

(19:41):
one of them, actually both of them end up making
it the entire way to the telegraph hut. One holds
the door closed from the angry tribesman behind him, while
the other gets on the telegraph machine and telegraphs the
message out. Eventually, the door is kicked down and both
men die with African spears sticking out from all over

(20:05):
their bodies. This is taking place all across Zimbabwe at
this time, but as I said, it is not unified.
It is poorly led. And eventually the Europeans raise for themselves,
or that I should say, they get back their army.
It's a long story. I won't go into Most of
their fighting men had gone to fight somewhere else and

(20:27):
they'd been captured. They get their fighting men, and their
fighting men are organized, and they are well led, and
they start to put this rebellion down. They put it
down to such effect. The rebels are now starving. The
rebels are hiding in caves, and the Europeans are dynamiting
rebels out of caves, dynamiting the entrance, starving them. And

(20:51):
there an or horrible, horrible, ugly affair. Cecil Rhodes, the
guy who started all this, He brings all the tribal
leaders together finally after a very vicious little war, and
he negotiates a peace because the tribes are starving. They're starving.

(21:13):
They're done. Only now, this is the problem with rebellion,
when you lose one. If you lose one, you are
always going to end up worse off than you were before.
If you're going to rebel, you better win. The whole

(21:33):
history of the world proves this to be the case.
It's almost weird when you look back and you wonder
why so many people rebelled. We're going to rebel against Babylon.
Oh no, we're all skinned alive. I mean it just
doesn't it doesn't work. Now they have no more control.
And now after the negotiated peace, now Britain is no

(21:54):
longer doing that. Well, it's not really our thing. It's
kind of a private enterprise thing. Nope, now this is
the nineteen twenties. Now Britain says no, no, no, no, no,
it's our country now. Now they even gave it a name,
South Rhodesia, by the way, in case you're wondering, Yes,

(22:17):
that name comes from the name Cecil Roads. And no
he didn't name it. In fact, he didn't even like
the name, which is weird. I've always wanted a country
named after me. That is not what he preferred at all,
but Rhodesia. Only at this point in time it's named
South Rhodesia. Let's fast forward just a little bit. They

(22:37):
are locking in their control of the area. They're building
whole cities. Now, they're trying to modernize this country as
possible in a long comes World War two. This part
is going to be important for our story as we
move along. I already told you the kind of people
last night, the kind of Europeans who came here. These

(22:58):
were not convicts. You just got out These were not
idiot's welfare recipients. In many ways, it was the cream
of the crop for Europeans and their children. They were
tough as nails as well, not these effeminate, you know,
pinky out people. Tough as nails. And they also had,
because there were so few of them in a country

(23:20):
that was so big, with so many bigger tribes, mandatory
military service for all the males if you were a
male in Rhodesia, by the way, and females, females were
the females didn't have mandatory military service. Let me clarify,
but the females were tough. The males were tough. We're
not talking about sipping tea. These were farmers and miners

(23:42):
and people who worked hard. And even the ones who
were more wealthy. You hunted all the time, the elements
sleeping out under the elements. They were already a people
familiar with the outdoors, familiar with firearms. And then when
you add in mandatory military service, there may not have
been many of them. At about the height of Rhodesia's

(24:03):
army's power, there was only about twenty thousand. That's a
tiny army. They were all tough as nails, tough as
freaking nails, because look, you grew up in Africa shooting lions,
that's what you did. They were a tough people. World
War two comes along and Britain calls, hey, Rhodesia, we

(24:23):
need some guys. Now. I need to pause here, and
I'm gonna have to make this disclaimer many times as
we continue to tell this tale. It can be easy
to think about this story as white versus black. I'm
sure you've done it in your mind several times, because
the Europeans were white and the tribesmen were black. And

(24:46):
in some ways that may be accurate. But when I
said they were trying to integrate the Africans, they were
trying to integrate the Africans. That Rhodesian army, I just meant,
at the height of its power, like half of it
was black. They're elite troops, like half of them were black.

(25:07):
The Rhodesians didn't see this as a white versus black
thing at all. The loser commis worldwide, It's very similar
to the commies we have today. That's how they sold
it worldwide. Look, he's NASA's oppressing the black people. That
is not how it was. They were working in many

(25:28):
ways hand in hand. That's exactly right, Chris. They used
good old fashioned race communism to sell this locally and internationally.
When things kicked off, the Rhodesian military was not just
white Europeans. The Africans were getting training, getting everything again,
integrating them in Britain fighting World War II needed men.

(25:49):
They said, Rhodesia, can you help. Rhodesia full of a
bunch of tough people, said absolutely, tell us where you
need us. So many Rhodesian men black stepped up to fight.
The Brits got concerned that there would be no men
to go back to Rhodesia if they all died, so
they spread the units out all across the everywhere Britain

(26:12):
was fighting. They wouldn't let the Rhodesians go all to
one area because they'd worry about it. Hey send fifty here,
sent one hundred there, and they went and fought like
lions for Britain in World War Two. Their service is incredible.
But something else, I mean, World War two was awful,
but the result of it was actually wonderful in some ways.

(26:34):
For what is now Rhodesia. I'll explain in a moment
more on this next. It is the Jesse Kelly Show
on a magnificent Monday. I swear if you're suffering, we'll
be back to politics in ten minutes. But we're doing
part two of the Rhodesian bush War. Now. We just
finished the rebellion. The Europeans put down the rebellion. Britton

(26:57):
essentially decided, okay, that's enough of all this games. Now
it's a country. Now, it's our country. In fact, we're
slapping a name on it now it's called South Rhodesia.
And well, the way it works is, of course, world
War II breaks out. The Rhodesians, as I mentioned, black
and white military men went off and fought valiantly for

(27:18):
the Brits. That will end up mattering later on. But
something else happens. And this is the ugly part of life,
the ironic, I guess I should should say part of life.
In a lot of ways. War can be good for economies. Certainly,
if you are a country that produces stuff, war can

(27:41):
be very good for you. Why are the Europeans in
Rhodesia to begin with? It's rich with resources, The land
is wonderful for agriculture. There are things to mine there.
And guess which empire needs stuff right about now. Well,
the Allies, well all of them, but the Allies need it.

(28:04):
The economy starts booming, booming, there are huge checks coming
into Rhodesia because the Allies needs stuff. Well, this is Africa,
we already mentioned. It's a rough place. It's been a

(28:24):
rough place, just has not become a modern continent. Ever.
What do you think happens when the Rhodesian economy starts booming.
The word goes out. The word goes out to all
the other countries around there who may be struggling. There's
always a famine, always a war, always a plague, and

(28:47):
more Africans start pouring into Rhodesia looking for work, looking
for an opportunity, and they find them. But as usually happens,
the war doesn't last forever. And after the war is over.
Let's say let's say it's the year nineteen forty one

(29:09):
in your Rhodesia, just for the sake of argument, and
your economy starts booming. Everyone knows it, Everyone in Africa
knows it. And so let's just say you get a
million two million Africans from other countries coming in to
take advantage of the opportunity to feed their families, clothed themselves,
you know, all those things. But then nineteen forty five

(29:30):
rolls around in biop war over. Well, there's still a
market obviously for crops and chrome and the other things
they mind, but not near the market it once was. Well,
now all those people have already come in, Now they've
already brought jobs in. Now there's not as much economic

(29:54):
opportunity to go around, yet the people are still there.
This creates a situation that from the outside looking in,
looks terrible. The situation being this, you have these extremely wealthy,
modern looking mostly white, although there were plenty of black people.

(30:16):
There are extremely modern, wealthy looking towns that would have
looked like any town in America, any city in Europe
popping up. Only on the outskirts there are extremely run down, poor,
all black shanty towns that start popping up. The reason

(30:38):
this is so disastrous is post World War Two there
was a thing that was happening globally. It wasn't just
to Britain. After World War Two, countries that had empires
overseas started to give them up. Sometimes they fought hard

(30:59):
for them. You know that. This was the French in
Vietnam when they eventually lost that, but they fought hard
trying to keep it. Some countries just flat out walked
away from it. But no matter what, there is a
macro movement happening on planet Earth post World War two,
and that movement was, hey, you super powerful empires with

(31:24):
a colony here in a colony there in Britain's in India,
and the French are in Vietnam, and everyone's in Africa
said hey, you know what, no more, no more, It's
time to walk away from your overseas empire. The and
I'm going to put this in quotes because I don't
necessarily believe in this, but the quote decolonization movement has begun. Now, well,

(31:53):
how do you think Rhodesia looks to the rest of
the world when everyone else is giving up their overseas
territory And now you look at this insanely wealthy, prosperous
African country. These other African countries, for the most part,
they're sucking it up. They're doing terribly well. Rhodesia. Certainly

(32:15):
the Rhodesians are the Europeans in Rhodesia, Rhodesia, they're thriving,
and the African peoples in Rhodesia. They're on reservations, just
like our Indian reservations. They're on reservations where the Europeans
put them, or they're in shanty towns. And there's another
part of it that just looked bad. And this is

(32:38):
actually how we're going to open our show tomorrow. So
let me ask a question. Who should get to vote
in any society? Who deserves a say in the government
of any society? I think you would probably agree with me.

(33:01):
That shouldn't be everybody, right, you don't want twelve year
olds to vote. Of course, if there's some serial killer
getting ready to be executed tomorrow, do you want his
vote canceled out? He's canceling out your vote for presidents? No? Okay?
So will at least agree on that it shouldn't be everybody? Okay?

(33:22):
So that means there should be limits. What limits? How
do you form a nation, a good country, if that's
what you want to be, a good, prosperous country, a
country considered to be free, while also putting limits on

(33:44):
who has a say in the government. In Rhodesia, the
Africans did not have a say in the government. No
say none. And that's about to be a problem. We'll
have to continue that tomorrow. Before we do that, let's

(34:04):
do some more politics, shall we. Let's talk about some
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

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