March 5, 2024 • 46 mins
Karly's Mom records her thoughts on recent triggers Kansas CIty Parade and the trauma instilled from losing your daughter to brutal murder by felons. The ways we can fight this together and envoke change! Resolutions and requests!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
No, I'm down, but I'llget up again. Don't count me trudging
yet. This is far from over. You haven't seen the last to me,
you haven't seen the last of me. Hello there, and thank you
(00:25):
for joining me amper on another episodeof Carly Rain Matters. I really want
to share the things that I'm learningthrough this journey, and actually today I
want to share kind of what I'mfeeling. I haven't been able to because
(00:51):
it's an ongoing investigation. I haven'treally been able to go into like my
thoughts and things that I've learned alongthe way. But what I can do
is share what this does to someone. And I've been really triggered lately.
(01:12):
I don't know. There's a lotgoing on, and I don't know if
it's because the Kansas City Parade.I was down there and if that triggered
something. I don't know. Ifit's just there's a lot of things going
on with my family and since this, since Carly died, there are members
of my family that are actually completelyawful now, and I struggle with the
(01:38):
fact that they really don't seem tocare and and to a lot of people,
you know, to them, itseems like, well, jeezu,
this was over a year ago.Well you may think that, but imagine
your child right now. Imagine outof the blue, never ever being able
(02:02):
to speak here or see them againever ever. And then you add on
top of that that they were shoteight times. And then you add on
top of that that you weren't allowedto see them when you knew that they
were in the other like behind awall in the hospital. Allow add on
top of that that you weren't allowedto see them for five days, and
(02:24):
that you still have never spoken toa doctor or nurse or anyone who tried
to help her. And then addon top of that court cases and hearings
and things that are out of yourcontrol, and you have to sit and
wait, and then you gear yourselfup because you know that in this court
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thing you're going to have pictures andvideos or testimony of her bleeding and things
like that, and you gear yourselfup to only be let down again.
It's literally like a hamster wheel youcan't get off of because you always have
(03:07):
to come back to this circle.So I have all these different things I
do, and I try, andI think I'm supposed to do, or
I go down this path to fightfor Carly, or I go down this
path to keep my businesses going,or I go down this path, and
then you come back to center.So you make all this progress and you
come back and you make progress andcome back because you're still at this chapter
(03:30):
that has not closed. So thegrief, I've realized, and I've spoken
to many women and families across thecountry, the grief doesn't leave you.
And if anyone tells you, Imean, I'm only not even two years
in, and I've spoken to momswho are nine years in and they said,
it does not go away, andyou will be smacked in the face
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with grief. And then some daysyou sit there and go, I don't
want to be on this ride anymore. I don't I don't want to bellow
in tears for my baby girl,and I don't want to keep fighting a
(04:13):
fight that seems that only a fewpeople care about because everyone's in their own
world and everyone has their own lives, and you try and reach out to
celebrities who have platforms, and everyonelives in in in their happy land until
it's on their doorstep, and allof all of this could have been prevented
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because the we're talking about repeat violentoffenders. And when you find out that
it is a repeat violent offender ora group of involved with the shooting of
your daughter at her first party,how how is any of that okay?
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The city and the correctional system andlaws made by our elected officials allow this,
And you're helpless. You feel helpless, so you go fight, and
I fight, and I scream,and I go to commissioners and I write
letters, and I go to thelegislature and I speak on bills and I
(05:24):
but then one day you just getsmacked again because the bottom line is your
daughter's gone, and you're never gonnasee her, You're never gonna smell her,
You're never gonna here laugh again,her infectious laugh. And at twenty
years old, I have decided,and I'm sorry to Mom's out there.
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Nineteen twenty years old is the worstpossible age in my mind, because they're
figuring out their life. They're moredistant from their break a way to figure
out who they are and where theywant to go and what they want to
do and be. And they're lessengaged with mom, and they're less engaged
(06:12):
with family stuff because they're working tofind themselves. And and I thought I
was doing good, and I keptI kept in contact and I and I
saw her, but I didn't push. But if you knew that your kid
wasn't gonna come home, you wouldhave pushed for that photo. You would
have pushed for that family trip thatshe didn't want to go on because she
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wanted to work, and you wereproud of her because she wanted to work,
but you would push to have thattrip or give that party. And
some days you just end up screaming. And it's and it's very hard to
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explain to people certain things that triggeryou, Like you don't even know,
oh, what's going to trigger you? And sometimes you're surprised at the things
that trigger you. And sometimes mybody knows more than my brain, Like
my brain literally probably has scar tissuein it. I'm sure it does as
(07:18):
a defense. But sometimes you'll justget sick to your stomach, or you'll
feel uneasy, or you'll feel illbleand some it just isn't right, and
then you realize, oh, well, this is the day that court was
supposed to happen from my daughter andit's not. But your body knew.
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Your body knew that it had togear up for something and then to think
that your daughter was smart, butshe trusted people, and when they told
her to come out with them,and she had never done it before,
and then she finally decided to gobe supportive with these new friends, to
(08:05):
give it a shot. To knowthat none of them will speak up for
her, it infuriates you, andto know that you can do nothing about
it, and you just have tosit here and take it. It's it's
almost that's how I felt in mynarcissistic relationships when I was dating narcissists,
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Like you feel powerless and you feelthat you can't stick up for yourself,
and I can't stick up for mydaughter and the only thing I can do
is try and share her story becausethe world missed out on somebody, and
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this messes up your entire family.I've alsoked talked to other families who they
don't speak to a certain my oftheir family, or certain people didn't come
to the funeral or the celebration oflife, and that's just wrong. That's
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wrong. And yet you don't reallyhave the energy to give a shit.
You just write it off. Buthow dare they not care about her?
How dare her biological dad not careto come to her celebrational life. How
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dare he offer a life insurance thathe had on her he hadn't even seen
her in like eight years plus,and then never follow through on that.
We could have had our foundation bynow, We could have had a good
headstone for her. We could havehad fought for a lot of things.
(10:11):
Sometimes I just feel like this experienceis something that I need people to or
I need to try and express sothat people understand. Some people don't care,
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some people tune it out. Somepeople get pissed off because I'm still
talking about my kid. I amnever gonna stop saying her name, and
anyone who knows me better say hername or just leave my life. Carly
Rain was a gift to anyone thatgot to meet her. In fact,
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people that only saw videos of her, which I hope that people are watching
her videos, go to Carly Raindot com and click on the YouTube and
watch her watch her spirit. Shespeaks to people through those videos. People
that have only seen her in videosstill either feel robed that they never got
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to meet her or that she senta message through them. There has to
be a reason somewhere, and I'msure from all the moms I've spoken to
We all look for that why andit's called a why wall. Someone just
said this to me the other day. I was on a phishing trip and
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our fishing guide actually, who wasvery smart, said, there's a lot
of things in life, and everyone, no matter what traumatic event it is,
at some point people hit the whywall and you will wonder why?
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And I did? I did withboyfriends, I did with relationships, I
did with the cards I've been dealtmy entire life. Why? Why this?
Why me? Why? Why amI always going to put in a
position where I have to be abitch? Why am I always put in
a position where I have to standup for something that was supposed to be
done but it wasn't, So nowI'm going to look like a bitch.
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Why do I have to hold peopleaccountable? Why can't things just happen When
people say they're going to do something, they do it. Why? Then
it's relationships? Why did he cheaton me? Why? What did I
do? Why? Why wasn't Ienough? It doesn't matter what it is.
It's you know, parents, whythis? Why was I given that
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parent? Why does this parent treatme like that? Why did this parent
hit me? Why? Kids ofabuse hit that wall, maybe even younger,
but when you're child is killed,the why wall is like standing at
the bottom of Mount Everest and thinkingthat the only way you get out is
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by getting over it. And youhave zero cool how you don't rock climb,
you don't have a coat, youdon't have any tools, and you
just look at the top and knowthat you have to get over that hill.
And then you wonder, why whywere you picked for that? After
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all this shit you've gone through yourentire life? Why? You know?
I thought that my purpose was mygirls, giving the things I could.
I tried surviving in the best Icould, and I make sure that they
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got to do things in sports andcamps, and you know, we sold
stuff so that they could go,and we got sponsors, and we hustled,
you know, I always hustled forthe next graphics job, the next
photography job, to survive, togive my girls the best I could?
And why was I chosen for that? Why? Why wasn't Why wasn't I
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born with a silver spoon. Whydidn't I have you know, some long
distant rich relative that leaves me tonsof money and my kids never have to
want for that? Why and againthe why wall You're never gonna know.
But I did get to that pointwhere both of my girls, you know,
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one is in college playing volleyball,one is working three jobs and had
a full ride to college, anddecided it wasn't for her. Decided,
you know, during COVID when theywant to charge more money, screw that.
Anything that she wanted to learn,she could learn on YouTube. And
if she decided she wanted to goto school for something in particular, she
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would. But in the meantime,she's right. And then el mess says
the same thing, the School ofLife. Everything is out there. What's
the movie Goodwill Hunting? I thinkMatt Damon says, you just pay one
hundred and fifty thousand dollars for thesame thing you could get free at the
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public library. I got them there, they did it, and they were
well on their way. And thesecond that I decided to take a deep
breath, literally two hours before mydaughter's killed, Life says, nope,
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hold my beer, now, dealwith this. Now, deal with this
fire. It's not even a fireI could put out. It took her.
Why. I've had a few momsthat want to tell their story.
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They're mad their daughters were killed,scheduled them to come in and then they
cancel. Last second, I hada couple who said they weren't ready,
said they weren't ready to tell theirstory. It's too fresh. Everybody's different.
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Every grief process is the same.You heard from Amy. Her daughter
died over nine years ago, wasshot in a parking lot. No one's
ever been found. She still hasn'teven gone through any boxes from her daughter's
apartment, and she can't understand howI have gone through Carly's room, how
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I have gone into the building whereshe was killed multiple times. Everybody's processes
are different. But a lot ofthe things that we are grieving over could
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have been prevented. If our judicialsystem was for victims more than criminals.
If our corrections wasn't about making money, but rehabilitating people and keeping public safe,
a lot of our loved ones wouldbe alive. A lot of the
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moms I talked to from across thecountry, OH, iiO, New Jersey,
UH, North Carolina. There's alot the ones who've died from domestic
violence. This wasn't a one timedomestic violence thing. These guys repeatedly knew
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that they've been restrained orders. Restrainedorders don't do anything. It wasn't it's
not their first rodeo, just likethese juveniles, it's not. By the
time a juvenile is stealing a car, it hasn't been their first run in
with the police. It hasn't beentheir first cry for help. Because that's
what these things are, their criesfor help. And if we don't get
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to these kids before they turn intothe monsters that killed my daughter, then
it's only gonna get worse. KansasCity Parade should be a wake up call
to every single one of those celebrities, every single one of those athletes,
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to use their platforms to fight forchange, because it probably wasn't their first
rodeo either. Those guys with guns, some of them were gang members.
I'm sure it wasn't their first runin. Were any of them felons?
I don't know, But I doknow that there was a reason that I
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decided not to go down there,And I don't know why. It just
was a weird feeling. In thatday. I had been asking I even
asked if Missouri how to open carry. I don't know why. I just
thought of scenarios and then two hourslater there's a mass shooting and children are
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shot like this is. Celebrities havethe platform to help us make the change,
and they need to. They can'tjust dump money at things. They
got to stand up and speak outon it too. They got to speak
out. For witnesses to speak up. Luckily, in this parade there was
plenty of witnesses. There's not forthe Carly's. There's not for the Jannais.
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There's not for many of these kids. There's not even that for some
of these girls that are being trafficked, that aren't being helped by our juvenile
system. It's got to stop beinglooked at by our politicians and our lawmakers
as a fucking business. It's gotto start being looked at as your citizens.
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Some people don't want to hear meramble. Hopefully some moms or some
victims will want to speak up.But mostly I want people and would be
criminals or troubled youth or anyone that'sever been involved with harming someone to actually
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give a shit about what this doesto somebody and imagine it being yours.
And if there's any witnesses out therewho have kids, how dare you not
speak up for an innocent girl?Who did nothing wrong but show up to
support people show up to support you. Carly would have been the first in
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line to help. Carly would havebeen in the first in line to speak
up. And you all know that, you all, if anyone met Carly,
you know damn well. She wasunapologetically hurt and she was going to
stand up for it, even ifit was a quarter. She was going
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to stand up for what's right andwhat's wrong. And I suppose I should
be proud that she did get thatlesson from the girl. I should be
proud that she knew who she wasand what she wanted to do, and
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that she embraced all people and didn'tjudge. But her trusting was taken advantage
of her trust when she thought herfriends would have her back at a place
she would didn't used to go,like never went to. I guess that
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was her mistake. People gotta startstanding up for people, and people in
their own bubbles need to stick theirhead out of the sand. Do you
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know how many times I heard peoplesay, I don't watch the news,
it's too depressing. You know what, Yeah, you know why it's depressing
because we sit there in our withour heads in the sand in our own
little world's only concerned about our family, only concerned about our little bubble until
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it hits you. Do you evenfollow up with who you vote for?
Do you even care about your localgovernment? Everyone's so wrapped up in this
soap opera that we get on thenew mainstream media about president elections. It
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is a soap opera. They arewasting your tax dollars on suing people for
this and that, just to playthe game and hold things up and cause
it is drama, and it isbeing what it's drama with your money.
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You're signing up for it. Youpay taxes. Do we even need taxes
anymore? I'm sorry, but alot of the waste is done by the
very people that you're not even lookinginto and voting on your local government is
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what affects your life. Forget thenational people. Focus on our city,
Focus on our county, focus onour state, focus on the US.
Brian said it, Roscoe said it. Why are we not even focusing on
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our own kids before we focus onillegal immigrants? Why are we not focusing
on our veterans before we focus onillegal immigrants. Immigrants are entirely different than
illegal immigrants. Immigrants did the process. Now if we've made that process too
hard, again, fight for change. Nothing is going to happen unless you
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get in their face. Elected officialsat a local level are not held accountable
and there's no way to track ifthey're doing what you voted them in to
do. That is step number one, and we need somebody who's gonna write
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a check to help create that.We're gonna have to do it. We're
gonna have to fight for it.I don't I don't want any more.
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Carly's carl would have made a bigcontribution to this world. She did,
but at twenty God, can youimagine that girl at twenty seven, at
thirty. She impacted so many people, and she's impacting them in death.
But we have got to stop justsaying oh sorry, and oh that sucks,
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and we're sorry for your loss,and do something about it. Stand
up for Carly. Carly stood outand we ask that you stand up for
her. Thanks for listening. Ihave a feeling as these court cases get
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closer, I'm going to need thisoutlet. I'm going to need to vent.
Sometimes. I do just a videojournal because writing my brain works faster
than my hand. And again,people need to see when it randomly hits
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you and you can't even function forthe day, or when you're triggered from
a past relationship because you have togo remove some mccarly's boxes that you haven't
been able to go through yet becauseyou haven't gone to court, but you
have to go move them again.That's a trigger, and that is takes
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every ounce of your energy to thinkthat you have to go move your dead
twenty year old's property again. Peopledon't understand how much energy that takes and
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how much energy it takes to justmake a phone call to tell Apple that
you need in her phone, andthen to find out you have to sue
Apple to get in the phone.That is your phone on your bill that
you pay for to make a phonecall to just call and finish up paperwork
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for your dead daughter. It's aphone call, right, It's a simple
phone call. No, not foryour body, not for your mind.
And that phone call is hours ofbeing put in a circle of time to
this person, talk to that person. Everyone pushes the buck. People don't
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have any idea how much energy ittakes just to go speak in front of
a panel or a group or acommittee about your daughter fighting for what should
be common sensical, which would havemeant that she'd still be here. And
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to those moms who have come outand spoke at the commissioner meetings with me,
you made all the difference in theworld because it's not as easy to
push off, Oh she's just thatcrazy lady or that west O white lady,
or that crazy mom or that whatever. I've been super victim. You
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know what, when there's several ofus, the decibel is higher, the
megaphone is bigger. And now imagineif there was fifty of us from across
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the country doing it in every singleone of our states together. Imagine if
we had a celebrity on this platformto put it on their platform to speak
up for Carly Rain, to speakup for all of those like Carlely Rain.
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Just for change in the system,to keep violent offenders in and to
not street release people, but tomake them go through the mental rehabilitation,
the programs while they are on supervision. It's backwards to let him out.
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There are people sitting in prison thatprobably should be able to get on parole
or bail because they're not violent offenders. Open up that bed for the violent
offender who doesn't care that he shouldn'thave a firearm because he's a felon.
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Open up that bed and make himearn their bed. Open up that bed
and make them earn their nightly stayin our jail, in our bed,
the taxpayer's bed. They can earnit. And while they earning it,
they can learn a trade. Jailsshouldn't be of costly burden. They have
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utility bills and they have staff outsideof that. Jails should be self run
because the inmates should grow their ownfood. The inmates should clean their own
toilets. The inmates should learn howto fix things. And if they can't
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figure it out and figure out howto get along like a society, then
there's a special place for you,and you get to go sit down and
it isn't gonna be fun. Youdon't just get to get it. Go
in there, go to gym,time, work out, and never do
anything that gives back to the community. Never do anything that gives that reparation
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back to victims. No, youdon't get to go in there and sit
and do nothing. In fact,if anything, it should be a boot
camp because you are no longer thatcitizen. You are the property of that
state, county, whatever, Andin order to get out of that and
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not be property of them, yougo through the process. You go through
the programs, you successfully complete theprograms. If you don't, you go
back to score one. And youhave so many times to do that.
If people can't prove that they canbe or attempt to be with goodwill,
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productive parts of society and not harmpeople, then we need to rethink what
their role is in our society.What is your kid worth? My kid
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is worth fighting for all this,My kid is worth screaming her name,
My kid is worth watching her videosto show you that she should be here.
It doesn't matter where she was.It doesn't matter what part of town
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she was in, because, likewe've been saying from the beginning, folks,
north Omaha's part of Omaha. Ifthere's a travel band, you better
put it into effect. There wasn'tand it doesn't stop in north Omaha.
In case you haven't noticed, AndreaKrueger, Nico Jenkins, that was West
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Omaha. That was random. Shewas just driving home from work. Soah,
can we chastise her? Some peopledid, Oh what was she doing
out that late? Oh? I'msorry, she was coming home from her
job, Well, why did shechoose to work at a job that late?
No? See, this is howpeople, This is how people function
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in their own lives and hide intheir own little head in the sand nest,
because it is easier to put blameon the victim who was doing nothing
wrong, then the criminal. Becausewhen you put it on the criminal,
guess what the accountability lies on thatcorrections department, lies on that county,
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and lies on that politician, whichin turn lies on the voter. And
if you are an informed, educatedvoter, then that lies on you.
And once you decide to become aneducated voter, you wake up and go,
well, well, how do Ieducate myself? I can't educate myself.
You want me to vote on judges. I can't educate myself on judges.
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Who's good who's bad? In myeyes for what I stand for because
back in the day, judges justliterally did the law. But now the
law has so many gaps and options. That's the problem. The laws are
allowing zero to twenty years, zeroto fifty years, So if you're found
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guilty of a law, of acrime on the law, they can give
you zero. So there's no punishment. There's a problem in our laws,
people, and that problem lies nowon us to make the changes. If
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you are mad that you want tobe an educated voter and you have no
clue where to go, look andsee what that commissioner or that mayor or
that judge that you voted for,what they're doing, and their report card
and their follow up, their progressreport, their accountability report. There has
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to be one. And the onlyway we do that is doing it grassroots,
because no entity is going to say, gee, here, let's hold
ourselves accountable. It's going to takethe people doing it. And that's going
to take the people coming up withthe funds to do it. Because I've
(37:04):
looked at all different ways, trustme on how to do it without a
bunch of money, And it's veryhard unless I got a coder out there,
if I got someone who wants tohelp write the website and the person
who wants to do the research.For us to be able to do this,
it all takes money, just likegetting elected takes a bunch of money.
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Why why do our elections base themselvesoff of how much money someone fundraises
for? Gee, doesn't that seemlike a popularity contest more than is the
person good for the job. I'msorry. If you're going to be an
elected official, the basic things arelike, gee, what are our problems
(37:51):
now? Balancing a budget? Okay, So every elected official should know how
to balance a budget, right becausewe elected them to do so. If
that's what the you know campaign wasabout, So why wouldn't our candidates be
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given a flat rate? Balance thisbudget of x amount of dollars and how
you run your campaign? Give usa balanced budget of this and how you
would do it. Make it apresentation, not a popularity contest. Present
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us with what you're going to doand how you're going to do it.
Don't just tell us with no plan. Do you have any bills I've noticed
get put through and they don't evenhave a damn plan? I Am serious.
If you guys want to watch soapopera, go to local government,
watch this, listen, and Iwill tell you that there are lobbyists.
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There's lobbyists for one side. There'snot lobbyists for the other side. That's
lopsided. Why are there even allowedto be lobbyists. Shouldn't it be people
that have had this experience speaking.Shouldn't it be citizens, not people that
are paid by some company to gospeak on something they want pushed through,
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and shame on the other side fornot providing the same, for not equaling
it out. Where are those people, you guys. There's a lot of
things to think about, and there'sa lot of change that can be done
if you just speak up. Andthat requires some sacrifice, and that requires
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you know, I'm going broke fightingfor my kid. It doesn't pay me
to go scream at these people andto go fight for her and yell at
the rooftops that expose the things thatare wrong and have the meetings and go
to this meeting and go to thathearing and go to this Being a victim
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can break you financially and mentally.Now imagine fighting the system and fighting for
law changes. And victims don't havethe power they should, and we certainly
don't give them the voice. Victimsshouldn't worry about losing their job when they
(40:30):
have to go to hearings about theirdead child, when they have to go
to trial dates. Victims should betreated exactly as jurors and be paid for
the day, because guess what,everyone else in that room is being paid
to be there. A victim didn'tchoose this. Carly didn't choose to be
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shot. Carli didn't have a gun. Carly didn't provoke being shot. So
the burden on the victim and thefamilies. Now it's well, hopefully you
can come to that. Hopefully youcan do this. I'm a business owner,
so I've been able to go tomore things than most because they have
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to have jobs and they have tohave roofs over their head. The system
needs to adjust that. The systemneeds to give families of the very least
homicide families a pass. Here's yourmental health voucher. You can go up
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to this many thirty within ten years. Because guess what. Some people can't
do counseling right away. Everybody's griefis different, but I guarantee you they
all need it. They're gonna needit at some point. They will need
it and want it. But ifthey don't have the funds for it,
then guess what you're dealing with anothermental health person. Some people end up
(41:59):
killing themselves because they can't deal withit. Some people end up on drugs
or alcohol because they're trying to copewith it and self soothed. We need
to intervene that in the name ofwe're sorry that our policies got your kid
killed. We need to make surethat employers can't fire a mother because she
(42:25):
wants to go to her daughter's trialdate, and that it's out of her
hands when that trial date gets movedor canceled or yet again postponed. There's
a lot of things that need tobe changed, and I have a lot
of I have a lot of resolutionsfor it. But who am I.
(42:52):
I'm just that crazy super victim.I'm the mother of Carly Rainwood, who
is going to continue to say hername until she gets her day in court,
until we get the people responsible,and until laws are changed to avoid
(43:17):
this. Because those guys involved notonly are felons as adults, but they
were also a product of the currentjudicial juvenile system. We have. Our
(43:37):
juvenile system created this. We needto get ahead of it with these juveniles
when their brains are still moldable,when they can learn some emotional intelligence.
And I have a lot of solutionsfor that too. It's pretty simple.
(43:58):
It's not rocket science. But it'sgonna take somebody who's willing to fight for
it, and it's gonna take abunch of people willing to scream for it.
Thanks for listening. I went longerthan I wanted to, but this
is the first time that I've actuallyjust let loose on how I'm feeling.
(44:27):
And this is kind of a dailyAnd I will tell you that the grief
when you lose your child, evenwhen you try and do some sort of
normal or you go and do somethingfun, or go do something to get
away, and they call it selfcare, inside you're still screaming. Inside
(44:57):
you're still searching for your child,and inside your still dying. And when
your child dies a PCU dies,part of you is in another realm searching
for them, while the other oneis here trying to figure out who you
are now. And we just wantpeople to understand. Don't tell us that
(45:28):
God took her because she's an angelor whatever they say. We know it's
not ill intended, but would yougive up your kid for that? There
is far too many people across thecountry that were killed by felons and we
(45:49):
need to at least stop that andtry. Please listen to Carly Rain Matters.
Thank you for listening today. Pleaseshare her story. Please go to
Carlerain dot com and find your reps. Find your local government reps and find
out a little bit more about Carly. Share her kindness and thanks for listening.
(46:15):
Have a good day. You haven'tseen the last on me. Oh
no, you haven't seen the lastto me. I haven't seen the love
(46:37):
to me.
No, I'm down, but I'llget up again. Don't count me trudging
yet. This is far from over. You haven't seen the last to me,
you haven't seen the last of me. Hello there, and thank you
(00:25):
for joining me amper on another episodeof Carly Rain Matters. I really want
to share the things that I'm learningthrough this journey, and actually today I
want to share kind of what I'mfeeling. I haven't been able to because
(00:51):
it's an ongoing investigation. I haven'treally been able to go into like my
thoughts and things that I've learned alongthe way. But what I can do
is share what this does to someone. And I've been really triggered lately.
(01:12):
I don't know. There's a lotgoing on, and I don't know if
it's because the Kansas City Parade.I was down there and if that triggered
something. I don't know. Ifit's just there's a lot of things going
on with my family and since this, since Carly died, there are members
of my family that are actually completelyawful now, and I struggle with the
(01:38):
fact that they really don't seem tocare and and to a lot of people,
you know, to them, itseems like, well, jeezu,
this was over a year ago.Well you may think that, but imagine
your child right now. Imagine outof the blue, never ever being able
(02:02):
to speak here or see them againever ever. And then you add on
top of that that they were shoteight times. And then you add on
top of that that you weren't allowedto see them when you knew that they
were in the other like behind awall in the hospital. Allow add on
top of that that you weren't allowedto see them for five days, and
(02:24):
that you still have never spoken toa doctor or nurse or anyone who tried
to help her. And then addon top of that court cases and hearings
and things that are out of yourcontrol, and you have to sit and
wait, and then you gear yourselfup because you know that in this court
(02:46):
thing you're going to have pictures andvideos or testimony of her bleeding and things
like that, and you gear yourselfup to only be let down again.
It's literally like a hamster wheel youcan't get off of because you always have
(03:07):
to come back to this circle.So I have all these different things I
do, and I try, andI think I'm supposed to do, or
I go down this path to fightfor Carly, or I go down this
path to keep my businesses going,or I go down this path, and
then you come back to center.So you make all this progress and you
come back and you make progress andcome back because you're still at this chapter
(03:30):
that has not closed. So thegrief, I've realized, and I've spoken
to many women and families across thecountry, the grief doesn't leave you.
And if anyone tells you, Imean, I'm only not even two years
in, and I've spoken to momswho are nine years in and they said,
it does not go away, andyou will be smacked in the face
(03:53):
with grief. And then some daysyou sit there and go, I don't
want to be on this ride anymore. I don't I don't want to bellow
in tears for my baby girl,and I don't want to keep fighting a
(04:13):
fight that seems that only a fewpeople care about because everyone's in their own
world and everyone has their own lives, and you try and reach out to
celebrities who have platforms, and everyonelives in in in their happy land until
it's on their doorstep, and allof all of this could have been prevented
(04:36):
because the we're talking about repeat violentoffenders. And when you find out that
it is a repeat violent offender ora group of involved with the shooting of
your daughter at her first party,how how is any of that okay?
(04:59):
The city and the correctional system andlaws made by our elected officials allow this,
And you're helpless. You feel helpless, so you go fight, and
I fight, and I scream,and I go to commissioners and I write
letters, and I go to thelegislature and I speak on bills and I
(05:24):
but then one day you just getsmacked again because the bottom line is your
daughter's gone, and you're never gonnasee her, You're never gonna smell her,
You're never gonna here laugh again,her infectious laugh. And at twenty
years old, I have decided,and I'm sorry to Mom's out there.
(05:46):
Nineteen twenty years old is the worstpossible age in my mind, because they're
figuring out their life. They're moredistant from their break a way to figure
out who they are and where theywant to go and what they want to
do and be. And they're lessengaged with mom, and they're less engaged
(06:12):
with family stuff because they're working tofind themselves. And and I thought I
was doing good, and I keptI kept in contact and I and I
saw her, but I didn't push. But if you knew that your kid
wasn't gonna come home, you wouldhave pushed for that photo. You would
have pushed for that family trip thatshe didn't want to go on because she
(06:34):
wanted to work, and you wereproud of her because she wanted to work,
but you would push to have thattrip or give that party. And
some days you just end up screaming. And it's and it's very hard to
(06:56):
explain to people certain things that triggeryou, Like you don't even know,
oh, what's going to trigger you? And sometimes you're surprised at the things
that trigger you. And sometimes mybody knows more than my brain, Like
my brain literally probably has scar tissuein it. I'm sure it does as
(07:18):
a defense. But sometimes you'll justget sick to your stomach, or you'll
feel uneasy, or you'll feel illbleand some it just isn't right, and
then you realize, oh, well, this is the day that court was
supposed to happen from my daughter andit's not. But your body knew.
(07:39):
Your body knew that it had togear up for something and then to think
that your daughter was smart, butshe trusted people, and when they told
her to come out with them,and she had never done it before,
and then she finally decided to gobe supportive with these new friends, to
(08:05):
give it a shot. To knowthat none of them will speak up for
her, it infuriates you, andto know that you can do nothing about
it, and you just have tosit here and take it. It's it's
almost that's how I felt in mynarcissistic relationships when I was dating narcissists,
(08:26):
Like you feel powerless and you feelthat you can't stick up for yourself,
and I can't stick up for mydaughter and the only thing I can do
is try and share her story becausethe world missed out on somebody, and
(08:50):
this messes up your entire family.I've alsoked talked to other families who they
don't speak to a certain my oftheir family, or certain people didn't come
to the funeral or the celebration oflife, and that's just wrong. That's
(09:13):
wrong. And yet you don't reallyhave the energy to give a shit.
You just write it off. Buthow dare they not care about her?
How dare her biological dad not careto come to her celebrational life. How
(09:41):
dare he offer a life insurance thathe had on her he hadn't even seen
her in like eight years plus,and then never follow through on that.
We could have had our foundation bynow, We could have had a good
headstone for her. We could havehad fought for a lot of things.
(10:11):
Sometimes I just feel like this experienceis something that I need people to or
I need to try and express sothat people understand. Some people don't care,
(10:33):
some people tune it out. Somepeople get pissed off because I'm still
talking about my kid. I amnever gonna stop saying her name, and
anyone who knows me better say hername or just leave my life. Carly
Rain was a gift to anyone thatgot to meet her. In fact,
(10:54):
people that only saw videos of her, which I hope that people are watching
her videos, go to Carly Raindot com and click on the YouTube and
watch her watch her spirit. Shespeaks to people through those videos. People
that have only seen her in videosstill either feel robed that they never got
(11:16):
to meet her or that she senta message through them. There has to
be a reason somewhere, and I'msure from all the moms I've spoken to
We all look for that why andit's called a why wall. Someone just
said this to me the other day. I was on a phishing trip and
(11:41):
our fishing guide actually, who wasvery smart, said, there's a lot
of things in life, and everyone, no matter what traumatic event it is,
at some point people hit the whywall and you will wonder why?
(12:01):
And I did? I did withboyfriends, I did with relationships, I
did with the cards I've been dealtmy entire life. Why? Why this?
Why me? Why? Why amI always going to put in a
position where I have to be abitch? Why am I always put in
a position where I have to standup for something that was supposed to be
done but it wasn't, So nowI'm going to look like a bitch.
(12:26):
Why do I have to hold peopleaccountable? Why can't things just happen When
people say they're going to do something, they do it. Why? Then
it's relationships? Why did he cheaton me? Why? What did I
do? Why? Why wasn't Ienough? It doesn't matter what it is.
It's you know, parents, whythis? Why was I given that
(12:46):
parent? Why does this parent treatme like that? Why did this parent
hit me? Why? Kids ofabuse hit that wall, maybe even younger,
but when you're child is killed,the why wall is like standing at
the bottom of Mount Everest and thinkingthat the only way you get out is
(13:11):
by getting over it. And youhave zero cool how you don't rock climb,
you don't have a coat, youdon't have any tools, and you
just look at the top and knowthat you have to get over that hill.
And then you wonder, why whywere you picked for that? After
(13:37):
all this shit you've gone through yourentire life? Why? You know?
I thought that my purpose was mygirls, giving the things I could.
I tried surviving in the best Icould, and I make sure that they
(14:05):
got to do things in sports andcamps, and you know, we sold
stuff so that they could go,and we got sponsors, and we hustled,
you know, I always hustled forthe next graphics job, the next
photography job, to survive, togive my girls the best I could?
And why was I chosen for that? Why? Why wasn't Why wasn't I
(14:26):
born with a silver spoon. Whydidn't I have you know, some long
distant rich relative that leaves me tonsof money and my kids never have to
want for that? Why and againthe why wall You're never gonna know.
But I did get to that pointwhere both of my girls, you know,
(14:54):
one is in college playing volleyball,one is working three jobs and had
a full ride to college, anddecided it wasn't for her. Decided,
you know, during COVID when theywant to charge more money, screw that.
Anything that she wanted to learn,she could learn on YouTube. And
if she decided she wanted to goto school for something in particular, she
(15:15):
would. But in the meantime,she's right. And then el mess says
the same thing, the School ofLife. Everything is out there. What's
the movie Goodwill Hunting? I thinkMatt Damon says, you just pay one
hundred and fifty thousand dollars for thesame thing you could get free at the
(15:35):
public library. I got them there, they did it, and they were
well on their way. And thesecond that I decided to take a deep
breath, literally two hours before mydaughter's killed, Life says, nope,
(15:58):
hold my beer, now, dealwith this. Now, deal with this
fire. It's not even a fireI could put out. It took her.
Why. I've had a few momsthat want to tell their story.
(16:22):
They're mad their daughters were killed,scheduled them to come in and then they
cancel. Last second, I hada couple who said they weren't ready,
said they weren't ready to tell theirstory. It's too fresh. Everybody's different.
(16:45):
Every grief process is the same.You heard from Amy. Her daughter
died over nine years ago, wasshot in a parking lot. No one's
ever been found. She still hasn'teven gone through any boxes from her daughter's
apartment, and she can't understand howI have gone through Carly's room, how
(17:12):
I have gone into the building whereshe was killed multiple times. Everybody's processes
are different. But a lot ofthe things that we are grieving over could
(17:33):
have been prevented. If our judicialsystem was for victims more than criminals.
If our corrections wasn't about making money, but rehabilitating people and keeping public safe,
a lot of our loved ones wouldbe alive. A lot of the
(17:56):
moms I talked to from across thecountry, OH, iiO, New Jersey,
UH, North Carolina. There's alot the ones who've died from domestic
violence. This wasn't a one timedomestic violence thing. These guys repeatedly knew
(18:18):
that they've been restrained orders. Restrainedorders don't do anything. It wasn't it's
not their first rodeo, just likethese juveniles, it's not. By the
time a juvenile is stealing a car, it hasn't been their first run in
with the police. It hasn't beentheir first cry for help. Because that's
what these things are, their criesfor help. And if we don't get
(18:41):
to these kids before they turn intothe monsters that killed my daughter, then
it's only gonna get worse. KansasCity Parade should be a wake up call
to every single one of those celebrities, every single one of those athletes,
(19:03):
to use their platforms to fight forchange, because it probably wasn't their first
rodeo either. Those guys with guns, some of them were gang members.
I'm sure it wasn't their first runin. Were any of them felons?
I don't know, But I doknow that there was a reason that I
(19:30):
decided not to go down there,And I don't know why. It just
was a weird feeling. In thatday. I had been asking I even
asked if Missouri how to open carry. I don't know why. I just
thought of scenarios and then two hourslater there's a mass shooting and children are
(19:52):
shot like this is. Celebrities havethe platform to help us make the change,
and they need to. They can'tjust dump money at things. They
got to stand up and speak outon it too. They got to speak
out. For witnesses to speak up. Luckily, in this parade there was
plenty of witnesses. There's not forthe Carly's. There's not for the Jannais.
(20:18):
There's not for many of these kids. There's not even that for some
of these girls that are being trafficked, that aren't being helped by our juvenile
system. It's got to stop beinglooked at by our politicians and our lawmakers
as a fucking business. It's gotto start being looked at as your citizens.
(20:51):
Some people don't want to hear meramble. Hopefully some moms or some
victims will want to speak up.But mostly I want people and would be
criminals or troubled youth or anyone that'sever been involved with harming someone to actually
(21:22):
give a shit about what this doesto somebody and imagine it being yours.
And if there's any witnesses out therewho have kids, how dare you not
speak up for an innocent girl?Who did nothing wrong but show up to
support people show up to support you. Carly would have been the first in
(21:45):
line to help. Carly would havebeen in the first in line to speak
up. And you all know that, you all, if anyone met Carly,
you know damn well. She wasunapologetically hurt and she was going to
stand up for it, even ifit was a quarter. She was going
(22:06):
to stand up for what's right andwhat's wrong. And I suppose I should
be proud that she did get thatlesson from the girl. I should be
proud that she knew who she wasand what she wanted to do, and
(22:29):
that she embraced all people and didn'tjudge. But her trusting was taken advantage
of her trust when she thought herfriends would have her back at a place
she would didn't used to go,like never went to. I guess that
(22:56):
was her mistake. People gotta startstanding up for people, and people in
their own bubbles need to stick theirhead out of the sand. Do you
(23:17):
know how many times I heard peoplesay, I don't watch the news,
it's too depressing. You know what, Yeah, you know why it's depressing
because we sit there in our withour heads in the sand in our own
little world's only concerned about our family, only concerned about our little bubble until
(23:37):
it hits you. Do you evenfollow up with who you vote for?
Do you even care about your localgovernment? Everyone's so wrapped up in this
soap opera that we get on thenew mainstream media about president elections. It
(24:00):
is a soap opera. They arewasting your tax dollars on suing people for
this and that, just to playthe game and hold things up and cause
it is drama, and it isbeing what it's drama with your money.
(24:22):
You're signing up for it. Youpay taxes. Do we even need taxes
anymore? I'm sorry, but alot of the waste is done by the
very people that you're not even lookinginto and voting on your local government is
(24:44):
what affects your life. Forget thenational people. Focus on our city,
Focus on our county, focus onour state, focus on the US.
Brian said it, Roscoe said it. Why are we not even focusing on
(25:11):
our own kids before we focus onillegal immigrants? Why are we not focusing
on our veterans before we focus onillegal immigrants. Immigrants are entirely different than
illegal immigrants. Immigrants did the process. Now if we've made that process too
hard, again, fight for change. Nothing is going to happen unless you
(25:37):
get in their face. Elected officialsat a local level are not held accountable
and there's no way to track ifthey're doing what you voted them in to
do. That is step number one, and we need somebody who's gonna write
(26:00):
a check to help create that.We're gonna have to do it. We're
gonna have to fight for it.I don't I don't want any more.
(26:22):
Carly's carl would have made a bigcontribution to this world. She did,
but at twenty God, can youimagine that girl at twenty seven, at
thirty. She impacted so many people, and she's impacting them in death.
But we have got to stop justsaying oh sorry, and oh that sucks,
(26:49):
and we're sorry for your loss,and do something about it. Stand
up for Carly. Carly stood outand we ask that you stand up for
her. Thanks for listening. Ihave a feeling as these court cases get
(27:10):
closer, I'm going to need thisoutlet. I'm going to need to vent.
Sometimes. I do just a videojournal because writing my brain works faster
than my hand. And again,people need to see when it randomly hits
(27:32):
you and you can't even function forthe day, or when you're triggered from
a past relationship because you have togo remove some mccarly's boxes that you haven't
been able to go through yet becauseyou haven't gone to court, but you
have to go move them again.That's a trigger, and that is takes
(27:56):
every ounce of your energy to thinkthat you have to go move your dead
twenty year old's property again. Peopledon't understand how much energy that takes and
(28:18):
how much energy it takes to justmake a phone call to tell Apple that
you need in her phone, andthen to find out you have to sue
Apple to get in the phone.That is your phone on your bill that
you pay for to make a phonecall to just call and finish up paperwork
(28:42):
for your dead daughter. It's aphone call, right, It's a simple
phone call. No, not foryour body, not for your mind.
And that phone call is hours ofbeing put in a circle of time to
this person, talk to that person. Everyone pushes the buck. People don't
(29:07):
have any idea how much energy ittakes just to go speak in front of
a panel or a group or acommittee about your daughter fighting for what should
be common sensical, which would havemeant that she'd still be here. And
(29:33):
to those moms who have come outand spoke at the commissioner meetings with me,
you made all the difference in theworld because it's not as easy to
push off, Oh she's just thatcrazy lady or that west O white lady,
or that crazy mom or that whatever. I've been super victim. You
(29:56):
know what, when there's several ofus, the decibel is higher, the
megaphone is bigger. And now imagineif there was fifty of us from across
(30:18):
the country doing it in every singleone of our states together. Imagine if
we had a celebrity on this platformto put it on their platform to speak
up for Carly Rain, to speakup for all of those like Carlely Rain.
(30:40):
Just for change in the system,to keep violent offenders in and to
not street release people, but tomake them go through the mental rehabilitation,
the programs while they are on supervision. It's backwards to let him out.
(31:03):
There are people sitting in prison thatprobably should be able to get on parole
or bail because they're not violent offenders. Open up that bed for the violent
offender who doesn't care that he shouldn'thave a firearm because he's a felon.
(31:25):
Open up that bed and make himearn their bed. Open up that bed
and make them earn their nightly stayin our jail, in our bed,
the taxpayer's bed. They can earnit. And while they earning it,
they can learn a trade. Jailsshouldn't be of costly burden. They have
(31:51):
utility bills and they have staff outsideof that. Jails should be self run
because the inmates should grow their ownfood. The inmates should clean their own
toilets. The inmates should learn howto fix things. And if they can't
(32:13):
figure it out and figure out howto get along like a society, then
there's a special place for you,and you get to go sit down and
it isn't gonna be fun. Youdon't just get to get it. Go
in there, go to gym,time, work out, and never do
anything that gives back to the community. Never do anything that gives that reparation
(32:37):
back to victims. No, youdon't get to go in there and sit
and do nothing. In fact,if anything, it should be a boot
camp because you are no longer thatcitizen. You are the property of that
state, county, whatever, Andin order to get out of that and
(33:01):
not be property of them, yougo through the process. You go through
the programs, you successfully complete theprograms. If you don't, you go
back to score one. And youhave so many times to do that.
If people can't prove that they canbe or attempt to be with goodwill,
(33:23):
productive parts of society and not harmpeople, then we need to rethink what
their role is in our society.What is your kid worth? My kid
(33:43):
is worth fighting for all this,My kid is worth screaming her name,
My kid is worth watching her videosto show you that she should be here.
It doesn't matter where she was.It doesn't matter what part of town
(34:05):
she was in, because, likewe've been saying from the beginning, folks,
north Omaha's part of Omaha. Ifthere's a travel band, you better
put it into effect. There wasn'tand it doesn't stop in north Omaha.
In case you haven't noticed, AndreaKrueger, Nico Jenkins, that was West
(34:29):
Omaha. That was random. Shewas just driving home from work. Soah,
can we chastise her? Some peopledid, Oh what was she doing
out that late? Oh? I'msorry, she was coming home from her
job, Well, why did shechoose to work at a job that late?
No? See, this is howpeople, This is how people function
(34:53):
in their own lives and hide intheir own little head in the sand nest,
because it is easier to put blameon the victim who was doing nothing
wrong, then the criminal. Becausewhen you put it on the criminal,
guess what the accountability lies on thatcorrections department, lies on that county,
(35:15):
and lies on that politician, whichin turn lies on the voter. And
if you are an informed, educatedvoter, then that lies on you.
And once you decide to become aneducated voter, you wake up and go,
well, well, how do Ieducate myself? I can't educate myself.
You want me to vote on judges. I can't educate myself on judges.
(35:37):
Who's good who's bad? In myeyes for what I stand for because
back in the day, judges justliterally did the law. But now the
law has so many gaps and options. That's the problem. The laws are
allowing zero to twenty years, zeroto fifty years, So if you're found
(36:00):
guilty of a law, of acrime on the law, they can give
you zero. So there's no punishment. There's a problem in our laws,
people, and that problem lies nowon us to make the changes. If
(36:21):
you are mad that you want tobe an educated voter and you have no
clue where to go, look andsee what that commissioner or that mayor or
that judge that you voted for,what they're doing, and their report card
and their follow up, their progressreport, their accountability report. There has
(36:42):
to be one. And the onlyway we do that is doing it grassroots,
because no entity is going to say, gee, here, let's hold
ourselves accountable. It's going to takethe people doing it. And that's going
to take the people coming up withthe funds to do it. Because I've
(37:04):
looked at all different ways, trustme on how to do it without a
bunch of money, And it's veryhard unless I got a coder out there,
if I got someone who wants tohelp write the website and the person
who wants to do the research.For us to be able to do this,
it all takes money, just likegetting elected takes a bunch of money.
(37:28):
Why why do our elections base themselvesoff of how much money someone fundraises
for? Gee, doesn't that seemlike a popularity contest more than is the
person good for the job. I'msorry. If you're going to be an
elected official, the basic things arelike, gee, what are our problems
(37:51):
now? Balancing a budget? Okay, So every elected official should know how
to balance a budget, right becausewe elected them to do so. If
that's what the you know campaign wasabout, So why wouldn't our candidates be
(38:14):
given a flat rate? Balance thisbudget of x amount of dollars and how
you run your campaign? Give usa balanced budget of this and how you
would do it. Make it apresentation, not a popularity contest. Present
(38:34):
us with what you're going to doand how you're going to do it.
Don't just tell us with no plan. Do you have any bills I've noticed
get put through and they don't evenhave a damn plan? I Am serious.
If you guys want to watch soapopera, go to local government,
watch this, listen, and Iwill tell you that there are lobbyists.
(39:00):
There's lobbyists for one side. There'snot lobbyists for the other side. That's
lopsided. Why are there even allowedto be lobbyists. Shouldn't it be people
that have had this experience speaking.Shouldn't it be citizens, not people that
are paid by some company to gospeak on something they want pushed through,
(39:23):
and shame on the other side fornot providing the same, for not equaling
it out. Where are those people, you guys. There's a lot of
things to think about, and there'sa lot of change that can be done
if you just speak up. Andthat requires some sacrifice, and that requires
(39:46):
you know, I'm going broke fightingfor my kid. It doesn't pay me
to go scream at these people andto go fight for her and yell at
the rooftops that expose the things thatare wrong and have the meetings and go
to this meeting and go to thathearing and go to this Being a victim
(40:08):
can break you financially and mentally.Now imagine fighting the system and fighting for
law changes. And victims don't havethe power they should, and we certainly
don't give them the voice. Victimsshouldn't worry about losing their job when they
(40:30):
have to go to hearings about theirdead child, when they have to go
to trial dates. Victims should betreated exactly as jurors and be paid for
the day, because guess what,everyone else in that room is being paid
to be there. A victim didn'tchoose this. Carly didn't choose to be
(40:50):
shot. Carli didn't have a gun. Carly didn't provoke being shot. So
the burden on the victim and thefamilies. Now it's well, hopefully you
can come to that. Hopefully youcan do this. I'm a business owner,
so I've been able to go tomore things than most because they have
(41:14):
to have jobs and they have tohave roofs over their head. The system
needs to adjust that. The systemneeds to give families of the very least
homicide families a pass. Here's yourmental health voucher. You can go up
(41:35):
to this many thirty within ten years. Because guess what. Some people can't
do counseling right away. Everybody's griefis different, but I guarantee you they
all need it. They're gonna needit at some point. They will need
it and want it. But ifthey don't have the funds for it,
then guess what you're dealing with anothermental health person. Some people end up
(41:59):
killing themselves because they can't deal withit. Some people end up on drugs
or alcohol because they're trying to copewith it and self soothed. We need
to intervene that in the name ofwe're sorry that our policies got your kid
killed. We need to make surethat employers can't fire a mother because she
(42:25):
wants to go to her daughter's trialdate, and that it's out of her
hands when that trial date gets movedor canceled or yet again postponed. There's
a lot of things that need tobe changed, and I have a lot
of I have a lot of resolutionsfor it. But who am I.
(42:52):
I'm just that crazy super victim.I'm the mother of Carly Rainwood, who
is going to continue to say hername until she gets her day in court,
until we get the people responsible,and until laws are changed to avoid
(43:17):
this. Because those guys involved notonly are felons as adults, but they
were also a product of the currentjudicial juvenile system. We have. Our
(43:37):
juvenile system created this. We needto get ahead of it with these juveniles
when their brains are still moldable,when they can learn some emotional intelligence.
And I have a lot of solutionsfor that too. It's pretty simple.
(43:58):
It's not rocket science. But it'sgonna take somebody who's willing to fight for
it, and it's gonna take abunch of people willing to scream for it.
Thanks for listening. I went longerthan I wanted to, but this
is the first time that I've actuallyjust let loose on how I'm feeling.
(44:27):
And this is kind of a dailyAnd I will tell you that the grief
when you lose your child, evenwhen you try and do some sort of
normal or you go and do somethingfun, or go do something to get
away, and they call it selfcare, inside you're still screaming. Inside
(44:57):
you're still searching for your child,and inside your still dying. And when
your child dies a PCU dies,part of you is in another realm searching
for them, while the other oneis here trying to figure out who you
are now. And we just wantpeople to understand. Don't tell us that
(45:28):
God took her because she's an angelor whatever they say. We know it's
not ill intended, but would yougive up your kid for that? There
is far too many people across thecountry that were killed by felons and we
(45:49):
need to at least stop that andtry. Please listen to Carly Rain Matters.
Thank you for listening today. Pleaseshare her story. Please go to
Carlerain dot com and find your reps. Find your local government reps and find
out a little bit more about Carly. Share her kindness and thanks for listening.
(46:15):
Have a good day. You haven'tseen the last on me. Oh
no, you haven't seen the lastto me. I haven't seen the love
(46:37):
to me.
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