EP 6 BONUS PT 2 Get invovled Fake Politicians & Karly's Corner Mission

We continue out discussion with a mom who is screaming for help, her daughter has been trafficked and the system doesnt have teeth. Fighting for change, locked facilities, accountability and how you can help with a BOOK FAIR in Karlys honor. A plan for giving back in her name.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Standing I did plan wandering how Igot to some episodes previously recorded. Carly
rain Matters, a journey of grief, loss and a fight for change.

(00:26):
So we are back Amberwood here,mother of Carly Rainwood, who was murdered
November thirteenth, twenty twenty two.And we decided to start this podcast based
off of all of the things thatI'm learning through experience of having your daughter
murdered and the court system and thelaws and rules and hurdles, et cetera.

(00:48):
And then I run into other parentswho are dealing with the juvenile system,
which is all intertwined because the guysthat killed Carly grew up in the
juvenile system and Douglas County, Nebraska. And I have Tiffany here who has
been with me a few times onadvocating for changes which I think are going

(01:10):
to be needed all over the country, not just here, because the fact
that it's in Nebraska this bad meansthat the coasts are probably way worse.
But Tiffany, thanks for coming inagain. Welcome so your experience. You
know, I started a thing calleddid you Know? And I think that's
going to be a segment when Iactually get organized on this thing because I

(01:34):
keep finding random facts like did youknow that law enforcement doesn't have live GPS
locations of people on GPS monitoring.They have to get a subpoena in order
to locate a criminal on GPS monitoring, which probation is the one who has

(01:55):
the live actual but probation runs,Oh what do they run? Nine to
three? Nine to four if that? So, yeah, there's that problem.
So I wanted to ask you,did you know did you find anything
that was like when your daughter wentthrough the started through the juvenile system,

(02:20):
even you've been through the juvenile system, right, so it was familiar and
you went because you were like,man, this helped me. I want
her to experience this, right.It was kind of like my my last
option because you know, as amom, you don't you don't want to,
like because I was sure that theywere to detain her, and so
it was like that cut in thecord of like I'm gonna have to go

(02:42):
without my kid for a while,but it was for to help her type
thing. Well, it might feellike a bit of a failure too,
oh like yeah, well, andI can't tell you how. I mean,
everybody blames the parents, every personthe judges, the courts. They
all start off blaming the parents,and then here we are five years later
and they're like, wow, maybeit isn't the parents. Well, and

(03:04):
so through this, did you findany did you know moments? There's so
many, but let's start with thewhole subpoena? Did you know that in
Boystown, if the kids tell youthey don't want their room search, they
have to get a court ordered thefamily teachers have to have a court order
to search a child's room. Sois Boystown sometimes court ordered for them to

(03:30):
go there? M hm okay,So so in essence, their room is
their cell sure, yeah, Imean that is where they sleep, that
is where they well normally have aroommate too. But yeah, so in
order for them to search it,like in jail, you get random searches.
There's no question they're asking a juvenile, a child. That's like them

(03:55):
having cookies all over their face andsaying I want to go look for cookie
crumbs, right, and them sayingno, right wow unless see again,
too much power right with the childhas too much power. Criminals have too
much power, right period? Right? Okay, you know, and then

(04:16):
there's the whole my daughter, Yeah, did you know that like running away
and all that stuff is not considereda crime in the juvenile court. So
my daughter has never been charged witha crime, so it's not a violation
of probation. Well, I don'teven know what a violation of probation is,
because what I used to think itwas my daughter should be locked up

(04:39):
forever as many violations as she shouldhave, but they have never violated her.
Well, for instance, I wasa Sarpy County probation person with DUI,
and if I had a bad dirtyUA that said that I drank,
then that would have been a violationprobation violation. My daughter was just in
the Independent Jacob's Place through Omaha Homefor Boys only because it was there was

(05:02):
nothing else for her, and theywere either going to do that or they
were gonna say, yeah, we'rejust gonna discharge it from probation and call
good. And she was dirty everysingle time since August and they did nothing.
So and by the way, Inever had a dirty uage. It's
so clear about that, because Iprefer not to go back to Start County
jail. It wasn't fun. Starpy'snice for that necklace, and it wasn't.

(05:25):
So, yes, that's what Iwas told. I liked having my
own space. I didn't have toshare a room, I know. But
they also call it hard time,right, I didn't see daylight for thirty
days, which is also a violationof an inmate rights. But it wasn't
that I couldn't handle it, right. I kind of like freedom, and

(05:46):
I like sunlight, and I liketaco John see, and I like sometimes
people are wired different, you know, like that's your mindset, and you
know, like given my situation,it was like none of that crossed my
mind during them time since, Imean now it would because some people,

(06:06):
jail's a break. It's it's afucking vacation from the streets and survival.
It's kind of like the homeless guygoing, I'm gonna go get arrested,
or because I don't want to freezeto death outside I mean, or it's
a place to meet new connections thereyou go. I mean that's what's happening
with the jew. Yeah, Sothat's I've always said, jail, prison,

(06:32):
excuse me, should be tough,right, it should be work.
And I don't mean just like labor, I mean mental like shadow work.
Well, I see people now,and it's like, you know, you
see the people that like they don'twant to detange anybody, kids, adults,
nothing. And I'm like, okay, so why did I have to

(06:54):
sit out a fine for like tendays in Starpy County for I don't even
remember what the find was four youknow, but because you had the money
to put in commisary. No,I didn't even have any money to put
in commissary. Oh you didn't havefamily like give you any money? No,
Oh you're nice. No, Iyeah, I didn't have that.
And like, you know, it'slike like Sarpy County youthy tension. Did

(07:15):
you actually like it's locked? Butit's actually staff secured, so if the
kids actually want to get out andrun, they can. But my daughter
when she was in that provo,her and three other girls, they had
one old man staff member at nightand they took his keys and got out,
got out the door. They weregonna steal his truck. They ended

(07:36):
up running down to the little walmartbecause it's in the middle of nowhere.
My daughter threw a water bottle ata cop and yet no charges were ever
pressed. But see, that's thething they want to hold like me and
you know adults, and Sarpy's hardon on DUI for sure. Oh.
Absolutely, they want to hold himall accountable for that, and it's like

(07:58):
an automatic go back to jail card. But a juvenile who could be a
harm to themselves more so than probablyan adult. Right, Uh, doesn't
even get a violation. They don'teven know what that is. The kids
are smart enough to know it doesn'tmatter. Your daughter runs and goes,
I'll be back tonight, see youlater, right, or it's like devastated
because she has a warrant now andit's like really, oh she is.

(08:20):
See, yeah, that's why theyneed to bring back scared straight. I'm
sorry. No, they say thatthat is too tumus. I asked in
the very beginning, five years ago. I asked them about that, and
they said that it's too traumatic forthe kids. But the kids, the
kids that we're talking about are alreadytraumatized. Well, it's like, I'll
take my chances. How about letthat be the parent's decision to make right
because they're gonna be the ones ultimatelythat have to deal with it. The

(08:41):
kids. Yeah, but they can'teven let you sign a permission slip to
take them for a night, right, even though you're the parent, right,
I can't even I didn't even havea say on my daughter getting put
on birth control, Like what thehell, it's my body, my But
you're a problem, okay, yeah, ye your problem? Right? Well
then I mean, if it's thewhole that thing, then why am I

(09:03):
responsible for the bills for it orwhat? You know? It's just,
you know, I look at everything, you know, and like, cause
I've definitely I just have seen somuch. And then I look at Carly's
story and it's like why, youknow, like and I hate because it's
tough, but it's like why yourdaughter? She just seems so pure and

(09:24):
so you know, free spirited,and it's like that's what we That's what
every mom would want their daughter tobe. Independent, self taught, right,
kind to everybody, random acts ofkindness. She'd tip the Taco bell
guy twenty bucks just because she thoughthe looked like he needed it. You
know. I wish I would havemet her, because it just and I

(09:45):
almost feel like I have just kindof hearing stories and stuff, but I
don't know, like I know mepersonally. It's just a very So what
has your conclusion been with with thewhy, because you know, I asked
the why all the time. ButI just feel like going through all this
with my daughter. I've connected withsome other moms and it's like, I
mean I can be a very loudvoice and try to make as much noise

(10:09):
as possible. I mean, I'vetried harassing senators and all of that,
and it just they don't give adamn, Like they don't. They just
on to the next, on tothe you know what I mean. It's
not if it's not affecting them personally, they don't care. And then it's
like and then like when I startedwatching Carly stuff and you know, and
it's like it's just her picture isthe one picture that you post everywhere.

(10:30):
It's like the side kind of youand she had the blonde hair, and
it just it's like I feel like, I mean, everybody says they have
a purpose, and it's like,maybe her purpose is to change our women
juveniles because of like the self esteemand you know, all of that,
and she she had all that.She like I said, she had what

(10:50):
every mom would want their daughter tohave, that independence, that strong minded.
Yeah, she went through some hardtimes, but it didn't define her,
it didn't, you know, ruin, yes, and you know in
her smile she was just you know, just look happy. And you know,
I've never heard one person say anythingbad about her, you know.
And that's the thing, is likewho wouldn't want that for their kid?

(11:11):
And then you know, like eventhough my daughter is the girl that she
is right now, she even hasseen pictures of you, you know,
and it's like she she talks abouther. She actually sent me a picture
of a Carly side the other day. I'll have to show you. And
even though it's not changing her ways, it's like it caught her attention.
Why did it catch her attention?Because Carly was like how the girls want

(11:35):
like how the girls are like theyou know what I mean, just the
way that they carry themselves, thebeautiful makeup and you know, so the
call when they when they consider Carlythe baddie or the that bitch or the
that girl or the hey, mydaughter would say that Carly's that bitch.
Yeah, you know, but butthat is that bitch means you've got your

(11:56):
shit together and we all want tobe like that, right, and you
don't apologize for who you are,right, And she didn't well, that's
why we said, unapology that hersister said that early on, unapologetically her
And again, I wish like womenlike Taylor Swift Travis helped me out here.

(12:22):
I wish women like Megan the Stallionto artists on opposite ends of the
musical genre that Carly loved. Carly'smusical was all over the place, but
Megan's been shot. She's all aboutwomen's power. Taylor Swift's all about standing

(12:46):
up for women and empowering women andnot taking anybody's crap and being your own
and earning your own. And that'sexactly what Carly did and stood up for
other people. I just wish thatcelebrities, you know, it's all wonderful
and awesome, and I mean Taylorand Travis are in their I mean Prince

(13:07):
and Princess and in their fairy tale, and everyone else is. I know
they want to portray positive and bethat vibe, but they also need to
look at reality, and the realityis the crime around them. And the
reality is for Megan the Stallion thatsome of her listeners are the ones that

(13:31):
won't speak up right, she wasone of them. I mean early on
she didn't say who shot her,she said she stepped on glass. Now
does she regret saying that? Idon't know. Does she is? She
is? She does? Does itmake her feel better to finally say the
truth or to speak out against whoshot her? I would love to hear

(13:52):
that, you know, I wasit empowering for her, right? I
hear all these stories like of youknow, you have like the street code
and you know what I mean?Or people are like, well this is
you know what what about their family? You know? And you know,
I feel like, yes, that'sa real thing. Like there there is
fear out there with retaliation whatever.But at the end of the day,

(14:16):
in order for change, somebody hasto stand up. What do they say
about fear? How did you getover fear? How do you how do
you stop a bully? Well,you have a stand up to the same
thing. Yeah, no matter whatit is, it's standing up. It's
standing up for It's just like soldiersstanding up for your fighting for your country,
fighting for your neighborhood, standing upfor your what's right and wrong right,

(14:37):
you know, it's like just livesin general being taken. You know,
that's that's tough, you know.And then there's Carly's that was like
innocent, and there's been a there'sa lot of innocent people that get killed,
there is, But it's like,why is there such a code for
that. I don't think it's acode. I think it's more of like

(14:58):
easier way of life life is,you know what I mean? It's right,
right. The people in that partythat saw a girl get murdered choking
and bleeding on the floor have thatvisual in their head. I have a
visual in my head, but mineisn't right reality because I didn't see it

(15:18):
right. But mine's probably worse thanthe actual, but I would there's somebody
having dreams about it, right.I just don't know why people don't like,
you know, going through this withmy daughter, it was like I
could kind of be a psycho andwhen she'd run, and then I would
go and look at, like onthe Nebraska State Patrol, all the kids
that ran the same day, andI would just start Facebook stocking all them
to try and pinpoint who my kidwas with, and then I would reach

(15:41):
out to their parents, you know, And that's how I met some of
the moms. Or I would seethere's another mom that one of her her
daughter was on the news and Iseen it and it just I was going
through it with my daughter, soI reached out to her and now here
it is a year and a halflater, and we still talk. And
that's natural instinctive parenting. A bully, you're gonna go to I'm stuck our
parents. I can't go to Carly'sbullies, right, I can't go to

(16:03):
the Karl bullies, the people thatshot Carly's mom, right and say,
excuse me, right, we're gonnado about your kid. But on the
other side of that, like thepeople at that party, why are they
banning together? Because there is athing of strengthened numbers and if if they're
not talking because of fear of somebody, well, there were seventy people at

(16:26):
the party, so I mean they'rethey're they're strength and numbers. Why are
you you know what I mean?Like, well, the movie Friday teaches
us that, right, But whatabout whatever happened to if you are committing
a felony when they're like and thensomebody dies, it's murder for everybody there,
like you know what I mean,or involved or whatever, And yet

(16:47):
nobody's been charge with Carly's murder,Like for come on, what about except
like all I mean, it's justacessory or hindering, or well, we
can't make witnesses talk and we can'tdo this and we can't and it's like,
we'll wait till it happens to yourfamily. But sometimes it does happen
to the family and they still saynothing. And I that's fine if that's

(17:07):
how they are. I'm talking about. I'm talking about like the lawmakers and
all of that, like, oh, you can't make people talk, we
can't. But when it does happento their family, Oh, if if
Carly was the daughter of a commissioneror a senator, or a police chief
or a sheriff deputy, this hadbeen done right. And it's just frustrating

(17:30):
that people it's not just Carly thatthey don't they're standing up for their own
safety right honestly, but they justdon't see it that way. And what
frustrates me the most is the peoplethat invited her to that party, the
girls that claim that she was theirsister. They called her sis, or

(17:51):
they called her you know, theylooked up to her, or she was
so awesome and she was great andwonderful. Why aren't you speaking I mean
to me, that would be allbets are off now, motherfuckers, I
don't care about your damn code.You just shot this innocent girl who we
just invited down here. We invitedher to our neighborhood, right, and

(18:14):
I'm really tired of people saying,well, she shouldn't have been down to
arth O. You know what,if everyone is gonna have this underlying mindset
that they just don't say out loudthat if you're in north Omaha and you
get shot, it's it's okay todie, then you better just put a
travel ban on north Omaha because lastI checked, north south, east west
doesn't matter. It's Omaha it is, which means every fricking kid is Omaha's

(18:40):
kids. Doesn't matter what color,doesn't matter what they did. The bottom
line is they're dead right. Andfor a person who wasn't involved in that
life, who wasn't involved in thatneighborhood, who wasn't involved with anything or

(19:00):
doing anything wrong, or just simplyhaving fun for fifteen fucking minutes, And
what kind of person can say theywere at that party but they don't want
to speak up right? You know? I sitting through? How do they

(19:21):
sleep? Write the sentencing with you. I don't even remember the name.
I just remember, yeah, AndI'm not trying to put people's business out
there. It's not even business.But it's like I just was like looking
at everybody you know, and it'slike, come on, like, I
mean he you know, you lookat somebody like that and it's like,

(19:44):
just doesn't fit what you think wouldbe Like in my opinion, he did
not. He did not like fita killer like I didn't. I would
have never if I walk past theWU Street, I would never think that.
And it's like and you have ason, like you have a son,
like talk so help us, yes, talk the rest with the people
that actually did kill Carl. LikeI listened to his statement and it was

(20:10):
like it just ripped my heart out, like for you for like like it
was almost like, oh my god, there are like real people that care,
like because you could tell that there'sthat care, but then there's that
it's like the Tuggle War of likeI don't want to tell but like why
why not? You know what wouldit take to get Yeah, you're you're
literally looking at twenty years what whatwhat's it gonna take? Right? But

(20:34):
see, there's no consequence, likereal consequences that you know, they were
just hedging their bets on this judge, and the judge gave him the lease.
Right, So it's like, thereshould have been a consequence for continuing
to lie to the police. Thereshould have been a consequence for not coming
clean until someone said, we havea video of you, dude, Like

(20:56):
right, they gave you every opportunity, and then you continued to lie.
Fine, but now come clean rightnow? Help when you when you sit
there and say that you were tryingto distance yourself from this person or unbefriend
or not be friends with them orwhatever was said, It's like, but

(21:18):
if you really don't want to befriends with them, wouldn't you have said
something now to help yourself and helpwith Carly if you feel so bad about
this girl dying and you have akid. And I just feel like it's
a different mentality. I do feellike, if you're gonna get answers,
that's where it's gonna come from.It's him. But I could be wrong.

(21:38):
I'm not always the greatest of that, but I just feel like because
I just remember him talking about hisson, and it may not be today
or any times, but I justfeel like he was very passionate talking about
his son. And I know thatthe other guy has a butler of kids,
probably doesn't, you know, Idon't know, he has a lot
of them. But that guy's notgonna care, you know. But I
think that's gonna be your one.Well, and Carl's gonna work through people,

(22:02):
you know somehow. Like I justso so you were telling me on
the break that you think, Iguess you kind of said that a little
bit, you think that maybe Carlywas like chosen for this, not so

(22:25):
much that, but she was chosento move other people. I hate saying
chosen because it just makes it feellike it was I mean, everybody,
but it had to be Carly becauseshe is the one that's going to move
other people's pendulum. Maybe yeah,I mean I feel like I just I
look at it and it's like she, you know, just everything she had

(22:45):
go on. Them are the peoplethat we need in this world. But
then they also say like them arethe people they like because it's supposed to
be hell here and then you knowwhatever. But it's like I just know
for me and in my life andwhen that story broke, and I've just
remembering her name, like I wasso scatterbrained like I had, I mean,
everything was going on, like Iwas at my worst, and I

(23:07):
just always remember her name and Ialways would catch like little clippings of it,
and it just every time would likeshake me. And I'm like a
feeler type person like I, youknow, can be emotional, but during
that time, like I was justso shut down and like stuck in dealing
with my daughter stuff that nothing likeregistered to me. But that did,
you know, And and then meetingyou, and I mean we're kind of

(23:30):
a lot alike, I hear shewas on different ends, you know.
And I mean like since meeting youand then to now, so that was
like last March to now, likeI mentally have changed and like completely to
where I mean, I was avery miserable, just person. And I
can't say it's strictly because of that, but it's like it gave me something

(23:55):
to stand up for, you knowwhat I mean that like you're like fire
under your butt. I feel likestanding up for my own daughter sometimes was
like a letdown and a constant letownbecause she constantly would let me like run
and let me down. Right,But then there's Carly, and they're all
all the pieces connect, and it'slike, and she's not gonna let me
down, you know, And andshe's not. She's not here to speak

(24:18):
for herself or even you, likeI just my heart breaks for you because
it's you can just tell like sheshould have you know. It's not that
she shouldn't have been there, butit was like she just she was one
hundred percent an innocent person. Well, and Carly saved my life, did
she? Like I was on thebrink of done right because I was so

(24:45):
beat down, single mom, cheatedon narcissists, right, you know,
et cetera, et cetera, AndI felt like who'd care? Right?
And it was and it was abad medication for depression. One pill.
One pill did that right. AndI was sitting there and I thought,

(25:10):
I'm all Carly has right, Andthen it clicked in my brain, that's
why she was born because I wasI was on birth control and got pregnant.
So I thought I was doing everythingright to you know, be responsible
not get pregnant, right, Andit was like, oh, that's why
she was born. She just savedme, and that was my purpose.

(25:32):
My girls were my purpose. Andso then it became the Wood Girls.
But now what's my purpose? Youknow at the end, I don't want
this purpose, you know, andlike I wouldn't want this purpose either,
just because then in a way it'slike it's me being selfish, because it's
like on my side of the journey, there's been a lot of her And

(25:55):
you know, I drove my carto Zarinsky Lake and was like just drive
in the lake, you know,And it was because of a juvenile system
that wouldn't help me. And Iwas so helpless, you know, And
that's not a good feeling. Butwe understand the helplessness that these generational trauma,
right, parents may have feel itand these kids, right you know,

(26:17):
I've learned after going through this withmy daughter that like maybe some of
them, because I'm just I wasnot good in a good place, Like
I would lash out at everybody,it didn't matter who it was, and
that just because I was trying toget help. And there's no like chain
of command of how to get helpfor your kid. But I just no,
parents should never feel like that.They should not feel that helpless.

(26:38):
And on the flip side of it, with your situation, like you shouldn't
have to hear that the people involvedwith your daughter were failed juveniles doesn't make
it right. But they originally werefailed by a system put in place that
shouldn't do that. Now, ifI fail my child to a certain extent

(26:59):
that's neglect, I would be chargedand I would be put in jail.
So why why aren't people being charged? You know what I mean? Like
for failed policies? Didn't you sayone of them was on like an inkle
monitor and federal supervision? Okay,in the Feds, the Feds, Like
how does that happen? How well? And and the helplessness right again,

(27:25):
I'd never ask for help to protectmy kids. I usually just do it
right, I can't. That isn'tmy right. I'm supposed to sit here
and let someone else do it whodoesn't really have It's not their kid,
right, you know, it's notas urgent, and they deal with twelve
of them, you know, it'sjust another shooting, another case, another,

(27:47):
And then at the same time theyget worn out. I'm sorry,
how many times have they arrested theseguys? Well as for judges to let
them out? When I hear allthe time that like you'll hear that,
like there are people within the lawenforcement and detectives and all that that don't
agree with things within the system andlike their policies and stuff and the and
they do speak on it, butthere's so many that are so quiet.

(28:07):
And but for me, it's likeif I have a job and I don't
agree like probation, they you know, I had a po that was like,
I don't agree with this law.You know my daughter, I was
like, dude, she's gonna runaway, Like she tried to run away.
I chased her. We have acourt order that says if she runs,
detain her. And probation said no, okay, And but they don't

(28:29):
agree with it. But so it'slike, do you think probation is the
problem or the courts? Well,the judge we have now in Sarpy County,
it's not even so much his fault. It's the law. I can't
speak on adult. But he Imean, he definitely and he has seemed
not nice side of me, buthe's a good guy, Judge Crosby in
Sarpy And you know, but buthe has no options. So state statutes,

(28:55):
oh yeah, because you know,kids have all the rights in the
world to under It's just like lettingthem have surgery before they even their frontal
lobe is developed or whatever what.So it's kind of there's no accountability in
the system where these people are inplace making bad policies or not executing the

(29:22):
regulations they have that would keep consequencesin place. So, for instance,
one of the guys involved while shootingCarly repeatedly let off probation for non compliance

(29:45):
or refusal to participate. How doesthat happen? How do you get let
off probation and not go to jailbecause probation are supposed to keep you out
of jail. Probation is a gift. As Autumn said in an interview,
Tyvell just got a gift. Butrepeat violent felons who repeatedly say fuck you

(30:07):
to your probation rules and Jugglas CountyProbation or state whoever there it is,
says, oh, we can't handlethem, We're just wash our hands of
them. Well, then they're outto kill my kid, right. Well,
you hear what's the name Tyroll McKinneytalk about. He doesn't want to
build prisons. Listen, I'm notsaying lock people up like that's not the

(30:29):
general goal, but we have tostart somewhere and we have a serious problem,
and it would be way more costeffective in the long run. You
build a bigger prison and you startholding people accountable for shit because people are
being let off of everything, Likehow the hell do you get a gun
charge? Then you're on federal releaseand then you get another gun charge,
and how the hell are you stillfree? If that's the case and they

(30:51):
want the public to be in chargeof consequences, then they just need to
release the wild West, because guesswhat people will handle it. I had
to go to Starpy for thirty daysor forty five days driving on suspension?
Why but then can I go backand trauma fella gets out? Right?
Can I go back and suit fortrauma? What about the trauma that the

(31:12):
court has caused me to have becauseI'm trying to save my kid. You
know. It's just like at theend of the day, like probably put
a pissed people off. But TonyVargas's bill with the juveniles was to never
do not to or it was tonot detain a juvenile unless they were a
direct threat to the community. Itcouldn't It doesn't matter if they're a direct

(31:32):
threat to themselves. That doesn't matteror their family. I'm not my daughter
held of a knife or pull theknife on me, and the police are
like, yeah, that you weren'tscared, Like that's not and this bill
passed. Yeah, that's the billthat passed with Tony. Is that the
one that stopped locking group homes orwas that already in place one? I
don't. I don't know prior,but I'm sure that this is the one
that said no shackles and maybe,but this was the one that just said

(31:56):
no detaining kids anywhere in any lockedfacilities unless they were a direct threat to
the community. What makes him adirect threat to the community. They literally
have to go out and try andshoot somebody or stab them, you know
what I mean, like to thatextent before they would detain them. Now
you know, it's like I havetargeted Tony Vargas because of that. But
my reasoning is because it was haveyou gone back and said, hey,

(32:20):
mister Vargas, I tried, buthe replaced him. Wait is he a
city council member or he's ator asenator but he's running for Congress again against
Don Bacon. But see, TonyVargus had blocked me a year prior to
last year, after he said hewas gonna help me because I went to
him, I'm like, I pouredmy heart out in this email, like
just try to get help from mykid. Like I didn't go to attack
him. I went like, hey, this is your bill. What was

(32:43):
your plan B Because here's my kidand it's all not working. Sounds like
mister Vargus needs to hear from us. Oh, I've talked to him on
the phone, like he's a joke. Well, with one hundred and four
detained in Douglas County as of yesterday, Well, he won't even answer to
it. He was just you know, like when I brought it up to
him, it was like, well, then he needs to be fired because
he works for us, right.Well, that's the thing is like the

(33:06):
only time he ever responded to mewas when I was on Twitter when he
was running against Don Bacon. Andwe'll have to I should invite him to
come chat with us. Oh,that would do it. We'll see if
he. I mean, I'm opento the other thing. Last I knew
and maybe not currently, but hiswife was a juvenile public defender in Douglas
County. Wow, how the helldo you get to make a juvenile bill

(33:30):
like that. Isn't that a conflictof interest? I'm telling you it's it's
a mess. It's a but howdo you make a bill and then you
just completely ignore it. I wouldn'tblame him so much if he would just
at least like try to listen andtry and change it, like, Okay,
they got money to pass it.He probably didn't. It doesn't matter.
Now you have all these people tellingyou what's best for your kids,

(33:51):
but they're not they're not living withthe kids that that I live with that
I've seen. You know, Ishouldn't be able to find ten moms going
through the same thing as me ifit was a you know, because I've
been told by what was his name, the oh my gosh, the the
one meeting we just went to aboutthe keeping the you Center open, Chris

(34:12):
Rogers, that guy when he said, you know, it's I understand that
that's your kid, you know,but that's not everybody's kid. It's not
that common. Well it is common, Like, where are these studies?
Tell me how many since twenty nineteen? How many successful juveniles have you had
that have went through probation? Where'sthem numbers? Those are the questions that
you need to request from commissioners.You can message dan Esh the clerk,

(34:37):
request it and he can get you. If he can't get you that,
then you need to ask you goin to a commissioner meeting in the first
five minutes. It can be anythingnot on the agenda. Yeah, but
they don't even answer to it,like I want. But you can request
it and tell me you have requestedit again and eventually one of them up
there will find that because they wantto know too, my friend Garcia,

(34:58):
they want to know. I wishpeople would be able to watch them more
because I couldn't believe how like smuggedface some of them people were, you
know, and it's like, areyou like when you were talking and then
the wonderful lady was just like andyou say, I don't care about your
dog, you know, and thenshe wanted to get teary eyed. It's
like, shut up because then youwent on to the next thing two minutes
later and you're still not even addressingour juvenile issue. You're talking about let's

(35:22):
open this new U center because we'vegot plans. The youth center that the
kids are currently at that was theirplans when I've transferred over from ziemod seeing
how all that did well. Theissue, I mean, it doesn't matter
if it's an adult or juvenile.While you have them detained, you have
to do something with them, right, They have to go through these programs

(35:44):
that you want to send them onthe street to do that they don't actually
have to go to because no one'swatching them while they're in there. Make
them do these programs, keep thembusy, make them do the work right,
that's when it needs to happen.Right, You force feed a program
and self help and mental health,and you force feed shadow work, and

(36:05):
you force feed the trauma therapy rightbecause that's when they need it if they
want to get out you step one, two, three, four five right.
Well, and then there's also that, like you know, I know
that like ultimately at the end ofthe day, somebody doesn't want to do
something, they're not gonna do it. But if you could say, I
mean, it would definitely make adifference for a lot of people because even

(36:27):
the low risk, if they're concernis mixing the low risk with the high
risk, and it's so traumatizing forthe low risk kids because it makes the
worse to be with a high riskkid. You know what, that low
risk kid is gonna sit in thereand go, I want the fuck out
of here. No, my daughterwas in Boystown with a kid that was
there for a drive by shooting.Because we don't detain juveniles anymore, they're
putting juveniles like the really, reallytough ones that should not be mixed in

(36:52):
you know what I mean. It'slike the bad foster care. Like you're
putting them in with like the fifteenyear old boy that's explored in his sexuality
and touching girls, and you're makingthem live together. Well listen. So
Starpy County found a foster home,a professional foster home for my daughter because
she was on an IEP in schoolbecause she had been locked up so much

(37:13):
that she got behind so that thatqualified her as a disability to go through
the DVCN foster care agency. Theytried to put my daughter in a foster
home with a felon that was onfederal pre trial release for guns, drugs,
and gangs. Only I didn't.Then I had to make all kinds
of threats of like writing people overif they took my kid out of there.

(37:35):
They didn't believe you. No,no, they did not believe me.
And then when they did believe you, then what, oh, sorry,
we didn't know. They didn't evendo They didn't do a background check,
they didn't do a home study,and they just brushed another rug.
That's why, Like, are theygiving money to this place? Probably state
funds or I'm not sure. Well, it would have came through my insurance,
but they would have made ten thousanddollars a month on my kid.
And that's not exaggeration. Again,there's no report cards on any of this.

(37:59):
There's no there's no recidivism. Tellme how many people that you bring
out go reoffend? Tell me howmany you put into these group homes run?
Tell me how many? I thinkthere should be an option for a
private a private group home. Ifa parent that is engaged, parent says,

(38:23):
you know what, state whoever,here's my permission, slip. I
am the parent, my child isa minor. I give permission for them
to go into this locked facility wherethey have to go through these programs,
a private one kind of like privateschool. And I'm gonna pay three hundred

(38:45):
dollars over what you guys pay themjust for whatever I don't know, but
I bet there'd be a lot ofparents that would step up and do that.
Well, my daughter went through theBoystown PRTF Now that's like thirty it
could be thirty, sixty, ninetydays, but they normally keep them like
sixty five days. My daughters wentto that program three times. It is
locked. But it's like, infive years, out of every place that

(39:05):
my kid's been to, Boystown PRTYEPis the only one that's ever made a
difference for her ever. And that'swhat the county board needs to hear,
right, That's what they need toin the state needs to hear, in
my opinion, because we can gothere with numbers, we can go there
with quantification. Now she still isout there running, so she would have
been on a negative side of thosenumbers, right, But you know,

(39:28):
I mean, honestly, I feellike they need all them girls need to
see Carly's videos. Right, Butit's like sometimes you have to have boys.
You have to take a kid andkind of remove them from their environment
and kind of keep them because like, like their front part of their brain
is not all the way developed,so it's like they start to hear like,
well, my daughter's in detention,like she wants to do good.

(39:50):
She gets out and she does goodfor a little bit, but then she
kind of gets a little testy andthen off she goes. Well, that's
why in three p. Sixty Ibrought up the fact I said, have
any of these kids like got togo to camp for a week, hang
out with a horse, groomed ahorse, you know, fished where they
where they could just be a damnkid, right, And then I was

(40:12):
chastised, like saying, people,hear one thing, which is not what
I'm saying, right, And it'slike, no, seriously, like,
let's let these kids be fricking kidsand not have to worry about surviving every
five seconds and a group home inthe middle of a bad neighborhood, or
a group home in the like fiveminutes or twenty even a ten minute drive.
It is not exactly like I'm talking, send them to a field.

(40:37):
Well, yeah, how do youput a run away stars, how do
you put it away and in anunlocked facility and then not let them come
back because they ran away from yourprogram? Yeah, which they're more concerned
about things they could hang themselves onrather than locking even the locking a door
at night, like, I don'tknow the rule on that, but I

(40:58):
lock my door at night, rightlike I don't. I don't understand the
logic. And we're gonna talk manytimes, yes, because I could just
go on and yes, and thisis why we started the podcast. And
hopefully you know, we've already gotsome moms and some some victim survivors in
five other states that want to talk. And I've just got to get my

(41:21):
crap together and figure out the videoparts so we can be on other platforms
and they can see our smiling face. Although the news, by the way,
really needs to learn how to notshoot me from the side and get
three chins. I literally said,I literally said, I don't see that
when I look in the mirror becauseI'm looking straight on and when the news

(41:42):
cameras shoot right here, it's justlike this big rollie. I'm like,
am I on that? No,they have to like put the cameras lowder
to the ground and they can forme shoot up, hey, guys,
shoot down on women. We lookso much better. Yeah, And as
a Glamour photographer for years, Iknow this, but no, that we
do need to get the video camerasin here and are not video cameras.

(42:06):
How old am I record our faces? And you know, bring in?
Uh, I plan on bringing ina couple more. The sheriff is going
to come in. I plan onbringing a commissioner or two or three,
whoever wants to come in well toI think both. I think we should
have Tony Barcus come in. Uh. Invitation is open, you know,

(42:31):
because a lot of times. Thefunny thing is, how many times have
we heard when we speak in frontof either it's legislature or commissioner meeting,
that someone says from from pretty muchthe far opposite of us. I think
we want the same things, right, Yeah? Okay, and I'm just
going do we do we? Though? We really? Did you even listen

(42:54):
to anything I said, let's talkabout this. We want the same thing,
And I was actually invite Did youWere you at that Judiciary committee meeting
when Carol Blood said we should gettogether and do breakfast? Nope? Do
you know she was one of thefirst people to respond to me from like
the senators? Yeah? Well no, actually Suzanne Geist was the very first

(43:15):
one. But the end she's amazing, but she is. Carol Blood had
messaged me back because I had sentthis letter out, so everybody that had
like any kind of senator behind theirname, just trying to get help.
And she responded, and I thinkit was like an auto reply, but
at first I thought it was likereally heard. It was just like I
would love to talk to you aboutthis topic. And then I never heard
from her again. And then she'srunning for senator, Congress or whatever last

(43:36):
year, and I'm like, yeah, you can pretty much tell the genuine
and the hot air versus the wellthe ones that just do it for the
vote because it doesn't directly affect themwell. And even at a local level,
you know, there's people out therethat run along party lines that they're
completely opposite of because of where theylive, right, Like they know I

(44:00):
live here and this is mostly gonnabe read, so I'm going to run
on that. But then everything Ido is opposite or vice versa. And
it's like that's a thing now too, Like is anything on the up and
up in system? No, No, it's it's you know, I I'm
glad that you're doing this though,Amber, because like from the group of
moms, I know, like we'rein the situation of like our kids being

(44:22):
failed by the juvenile system, andso to have you on that other side
and like you kind of like willingin. I mean, I know that
you're doing it for Carly, butin a way like it's it's helping us,
you know, be hurt because youknow, unfortunately, people will listen
more to a story like Carl thanthey will a juvenile that ran away and
got sex traffic, because you know, they're like, well, that's collateral

(44:44):
damage. Well, absolutely, AndI think sometimes it makes me frustrated because
I feel like they bunch Carly inas if she was a troubled kid,
right, you know, and thatYeah, I think like, oh,
well Carly is dead and she wasa troubled kid. No, she wasn't
right, but she was in completeopposite. Absolutely, yeah, And somehow

(45:06):
I'm in the juvenile part when itwasn't juveniles that killed my kid. But
it's all connected, especially when probationlets them off how many times from noncompliance?
Right? Well, and it's likeyou gotta start, you know what
I mean, Like you start teachingpeople when they're young, like with the
baby, you know what I mean, Like, so why would you start
adulthood. Let's let them get awaywith everything, including murder while they're juveniles,

(45:27):
and then we'll punish them when they'readults. That's that doesn't make sense.
Hey, there's some right now playingfootball. Yeah, I seriously,
I feel like your coachable moments arewhen they're younger. Yeah. And these
other guys, they're grown ass men. I wouldn't say men, I'd say
cowards with guyriens. But they're grownass people who can make a decision right

(45:52):
and choose better right. You knowhow many stories have we seen a football
players and politicians. And I grewup in a bad neighborhood and I blindsided
and I grew up in the goodand I grew up guns but I chose
different. And you know, Imean, I haven't lived I lived with
my mom since I was fourteen.You know, I don't my real dad.

(46:13):
I don't know him. You know, I don't think since I was
three. But you know, andso and I'm not saying that mine was
to the extreme of like some ofthe other people, but at the same
time, it was like, forthe love of God, if I could
change and everybody and everyone's got theirdrama and everyone's got their trauma. But

(46:34):
it's what you do to deal withit. It's how you choose to seek
help. It's how you choose tomove about your life or be kind or
be an asshole, or if youdon't understand your feelings or why you're so
mad or I want to be akid, then then you go to people
and ask. And it's probably notby this point, if you're at fourteen,

(46:54):
fifteen, sixteen, it's probably notyour closest family members, right,
because you've probably been traumatized or beentold to shut up or whatever it is.
You clearly didn't get what you neededthere, So it's time to go
to somebody else. Absolutely, Yeah, it's time to find a mentor somewhere.
Well, and that's the thing there, Like my daughter, I was
trying to get her mentor, thereisn't any. I mean there might be

(47:16):
some in certain parts of something.I know, Millard, because that's what
made me. She won't go withyou, because it's like a guilt thing,
you know. And that's what shetold me was because she's not doing
good and she's like and she doesn'thave her daughter, and she's like,
I don't know. It's the reality. And that's the tough part. She
don't want to look at me becauseshe knows she really doesn't have an excuse,

(47:40):
right, and that would be thehard part. They're right there,
ding ding ding is the part ofactual restorative practices that need to be implemented
in detention or in the youth,because your actions have consequences, and her
actions her consequences, or what itdid to you, what it's done to

(48:01):
her siblings, what it's doing toherself. Right, like me and my
husband's marriage, like we were justit was tough, you know, and
looking at that is fucking hard,and a child is never gonna go gee,
let me feel like a piece ofshit and own up to it.

(48:22):
That's why when you're in detention,they should have to do that and have
to watch videos of Carly and theyshould have to hear me because their problems.
You've said, it seem a lotless significant when someone ain't breathing right,
and if it's someone that you knowdidn't deserve it, right. So,

(48:45):
I mean, I'm sure there's akid or two out there that has
zero empathy, or maybe they're anarcissist or a sociopath who's gonna be like
I don't care whatever, But theyweren't born that way, but out of
a hunt well, some are sociopathsare born that way. Oh well,
yeah, I think if I rememberpsychology, right, but or major trauma
when you were really little, right, like little little, but I I

(49:08):
would almost guarantee or put a lotof money down on. Let's do that
with a hundred kids, right,you're gonna help at least twenty five,
right, because they're gonna go crap. There's not enough people out there like
trying, like you know, adultfigures, trying to show kids a different

(49:30):
way of life, you know whatI mean, like that, there's not
you know why because it doesn't payanything. I know. I mean it's
sad, but not everybody just hasendless amounts of money and can go.
Well that's why it's frustrating that theyjust hand out money to these programs,
but then don't they're not vetted andthey don't have work cards or quality.
Yeah. Like, well, mydaughter was in Provo Canyon. The staff

(49:51):
members were bringing in weed for thekids, like all of the staff members.
No, I mean, they're they'reall they're doing is warehouse their warehouse.
The word uh oh my gosh,what was that Jeopardy music. They're

(50:13):
institutionalizing them already and It isn't thefacility that does it. It's the lack
of attention. It's the lack ofhelp, and it's the lack of work
put in, and it's hard work. I still remember some of the the
guards when I was in the UCenter, d C, y C.
That were no joke. You knowwho says that. Brian Riley too,

(50:35):
he says the tough ones. Yeah, like Roscoe says it, and he
was in prison. It's the toughones that are on your ass right,
that hold you accountable, that griffand you thank them and your experience with
Hanson, you know what. That'sanother podcast. It definitely is. Stay
tuned for that. Thank God.Yeah, So it I really like,

(51:00):
why does it take us to comeup with the practical answers? But then
I'm like, some of these thingsare so off the wall that it has
to be by design, right,They're not that dumb, right, you
know, opening a fifty two bedfacility in a county that's growing leaps and
bounds and your average is seventy seven, when you decide to open the building

(51:22):
that that's that's almost criminal in myopinion, because that is not solving a
problem. No, it's causing problemsright, So on that note, thanks
for listening. If you listened,and if you have comments, send them

(51:43):
Carlirain dot com, k R L. Y Rain Carlirain dot com. We
are currently trying to raise money fortwo things. One, I still am
trying to final spot for some ofher ass and release some of her ashes,
so like a memorial type bench typedeal. And then we are also

(52:06):
trying to do a book fair programwith her elementary school and hopefully expand it
into other schools. But low incomekids feel really bad when that book fair
comes out and they can't get right. And Carly loved that. And I
know my girls because I was lowincome couldn't do all the book fair stuff.

(52:27):
I remember not being able to dofair stuff too. So we want
to make in the library at herelementary school a Carly's corner. Of course,
it's gonna have Pink and Cheetah,but have some books on self teaching
on skills on all kinds of thingslike that encouragement. And then also give

(52:51):
low income kids vouchers to go haveit at the book fair, which would
be those big smiles. They've loveit, right, I don't care if
they get posters or toys whatever.Right, Let kids be kids and choose,
you know, and not be shamedor shunned because they couldn't get the
book fair. I hope they stillhave the book fair. They do,

(53:12):
okay, yeah, I used todo things online, so I don't know.
I used to do it in thedaycare, like Scholastic. Yeah yeah,
I loved them, and filling itout and going into your room and
like check so that we had thebooks there. They would ship us the
books and it's like yeah they andI'd have them set up in the front
and I was like a little kidlooking through them, like what's this one?
Now? Remember when they came withthe trailer and they just opened it.
Yes, the big wheel thing,the road case, Yes, the

(53:35):
bookmarks and the scratch and sniff whatare they? The little smelly pencil things
or posters and oh yeah? Yeah. I mean if I remember the book
fair, and I know Carly did, and she she did love elementary school
and that's where I think she absorbedthe most. And we want to do

(53:55):
that, and I hope I can. I have to get with the school
disc strict and get all the approvaland whatever, but we'd like to do
that every year and give kids.Does book fair come like twice a year?
I think for the schools. Yeah, you could set up a book
fair. You could reach out toScholastic and tell me you want to do
a book fair. And then it'slike if you sell a certain amount,
like I think it, well,it used to be if you sold seven

(54:19):
hundred and fifty dollars in books topeople, you got fifty percent of that
back in books. Oh so Iit's kind of like a fundraiser. Yeah,
so we could do a fundraiser inCarly's honor and then people buy books,
right that they donate to the schoolprobably or whatever, and then the
school then we get fifty percent ofthat in books that we could give to
kids, as long as you youknow, they have three tiers, so

(54:42):
it's like twenty five or it's likeI think it's like ten percent, twenty
five percent and fifty percent something likethat. But yeah, let's get on
that too, look on Scholastic.Yeah, but I still want a Carly's
Corner. I think that would beso awesome and then to have like a
pink couch and a and a rugand right, no, absolutely make it
super cute and that is cute.Make the books all like self help and

(55:04):
encouragement and things like that. Soas I ramble, thank you guys again.
Carlyrain dot com and on Facebook youcan find us at stand up for
Carly Rain to find out all abouther updates on court and then remember Carly
Rain and we want to see thosepink sunset pictures, pink skies and butterflies

(55:37):
again. Lack, this is FApromo. I'm far promote. It helps
to ast me. No, no,