Hospital FUBAR & Grief Attacks Many

The night Karly was killed, the hospital FUBAR and griefs broad reach on many.

Episode Transcript

(00:06):
I don't understand why that many peoplewere shot and only her. She was
the most innocent thing in there.You have to remember Carly Rain and we
I don't know how, I don'tknow what that's gonna look like, but
we have to. We have tostand up for Carly rain period. We

(00:30):
have to remember her because that wasa waste, That was a wasted life.
Carly Rain Matters topics that arise ina journey through murder, three loss,
and fight for change. This isfroble. I am far from mother,

(01:00):
Love me. Thank you for joiningus on Carly Matters. Join us
as we explore the topics and mattersthat arise after the death of my daughter,
carl Rain Wood. Carly was onlytwenty years old and she was murdered,
shot eight times, after attending herfirst party for only fifteen minutes.

(01:26):
My name is Amber, and Ihope that listening to this podcast will help
shed some light on the current issuesand bad policies that are hurting our children,
killing innocent people. And I alsowant to share all the things that
I'm learning along the way. Thisepisode, we're going to touch on how

(01:52):
grief affects not just the immediate familymembers, but it's got fingers that reach
pretty far. With Carly, youknow, she knew a lot of people
in a lot of different corners,and you know, old old school friends,
new school friends, friends of mine, friends of her sisters. Most

(02:16):
people that came into contact with Carlyhave a story that really resonated with them,
and she touched them somehow on adeeper level. And hopefully throughout this
entire you know, journey of thispodcast, we're going to have some of
those people in and hopefully you canrelate to that. But more importantly,

(02:38):
murder and senseless violence doesn't just affectthe person that you just took their life
or hurt. It resonates and it'slike a ripple effect through all kinds of
different ways. Even Carly's work friendscompletely devastated, and customers at her several

(03:02):
jobs, they would come in andwear pink. They would come in and
say is this really real? Daysweeks after because they could not believe that
she was gone. Anyway, let'sget into this and thank you for listening
to what hopefully will be one ofmany of our podcast or vlogging for what's

(03:30):
going on currently in Omaha and DouglasCounty and Sarpey County in Nebraska and in
the country. As you know,my daughter Carly rain Wood was murdered November
thirteenth, twenty twenty two, andin this short time I have learned so

(03:51):
many unnerving things about the system,about the judicial laws, and about how
laws aren't even being executed. SoI've met with many people. Lots of
people have called me, reached outto me. Carly has touched them,

(04:13):
or they had their own story abouttheir experience, And I hope to join
people together and connect these voices becausethings have to change. Things have to
change. The current system, especiallyfor juveniles, is not working because it's
creating the guys who murdered my daughter. The juvenile system is extremely broken,

(04:33):
and there doesn't seem to be anymental health system in Nebraska since they closed
all of the wards and facilities,So now they're filling up jail beds with
mental health folks who are probably beingharmed in jail more than they would have
if they were in a facility gettingthe mental health help that they needed.

(04:59):
So it's all over the place,and I'm kind of you know, my
whole life is a constant a fibof chaos and I'm just inviting you along
for some of the ride because thiscould affect any of you at any time.
And in fact, some of youmay even have children going to school
with some of these violent, juvenilefenders. And yes, that is happening.

(05:26):
So don't fool yourself if this isn'tjust a North Omaha, West Omaha.
It happens everywhere. So you know, especially in today's age, people
travel a lot easier than they didbefore, So don't think that it's just
one part of town. Bullets don'tsee color. Actually, murderers don't see

(05:51):
color sometimes either, and and juveniles, you know, kids don't have a
big color or issue. If ifyou've noticed kids are this generation of children
is very accepting of all athententicities.So it doesn't stop. And it's not

(06:11):
just one race, it's not justone type of person. It's not just
it doesn't matter. And I willalways you know, bring up unfortunately,
Chris Gradoville who was murdered by aguy, a repeat violent offender who was
on pre trial release. And ChrisGradoville was literally just going to fix a
toilet in the morning at a houseand he was shot and that's that's when

(06:36):
of Creighton's beloved he was involved withthe baseball program. Carly rain My daughter.
Carly was loved by all everyone whoever met her. Basically, you
know, she had she had friendsfrom all different ethnicities since she was little.

(06:58):
And Carly wasn't a partier, Soyou know, it doesn't matter,
it doesn't discriminate the system. Thesystem is making the public unsafe in my
opinion. The system is not watchingfor that, and the system is being
built by the people we put intooffice. So if you've been voting for
the same person for twenty years,you probably want to change that. You

(07:23):
really need to follow up and seeif they're voting, if the policies they're
implementing and voting for, or ifthe projects that they're putting together or the
programs if they align with what youwant for public safety, and then what
you want in Omaha, great votefor him again. I'm willing to bet

(07:43):
that once we unravel some of thethings and you actually educate yourself and look
into how this person or that personhas been voting and what projects they've been
implementing, you may want to choosedifferent path. And it's time that we
hold people accountable for their actions thatare causing our loved ones to die.

(08:11):
And that is a fact. Thatis a fact. Carly was at a
party for fifteen minutes, never camehome. Chris Gradaville didn't even make it
to the steps of the house.He was going to go fix a toilet
at never came home. I'm surethere's lots of stories out there that I

(08:31):
haven't even heard everybody, But I'mnot going to speak for everyone else.
I'm going to speak my story.I'm going to tell you what I've learned,
and I'm going to invite guests inwho can tell you their stories and
what they've learned. And the ultimategoal here is we've got to put our

(08:52):
concerns into action, and we needto create a platform where people can educate
themselves and find out exactly what's happeningonce they put that ballot in, so
that when they go again, they'rejust not checking boxes. And currently,
excuse me, currently there's no systemthat does that. There is no way

(09:16):
to check a report card on aDouglas County commissioner. There is no report
card on a judge. So whenyou're asked to vote for judges, how
do you know who to vote for? You really don't. I mean you
can go research and research and research. There needs to be an easy platform
for people to easily gain access tothe basics, because not everyone has the

(09:39):
time to just go spend hours andhours at meetings or follow up and read
hours of or watch watch hours ofmeetings, let alone. So we want
to try and create that platform somehow. So if there's a anyone out there

(10:00):
with ideas or a background, orthey're willing to donate time or their skills
to help us do this, Iwelcome it. Stand for Carly Rain at
gmail, orkarlerain dot com k AR L y R A I N dot
com. All right, So sittinghere with Rex and Rex has a different

(10:22):
perspective on all of this going onwith Carly Rain, and it doesn't just
affect her mother, It doesn't justaffect her sister. Rex is here,
and Rex is my boyfriend. Carllived with us and Rex, thanks for
coming. Good afternoon. So we'regoing to go through a little bit here

(10:48):
on how this affects I guess victimsin different ways. And when I say
victims, I mean we're all ofthe crime. We're still breathing. Carly
is not right, So walk methrough what happened when that phone call came

(11:11):
in and what you how you wereprocessing this. Well, just so happened.
I was on laying in the reclinerthat night and the phone phone rings
about oh, I don't know,four forty five five o'clock, and I
see it. I look at it, but I didn't answer it. And

(11:31):
it had Carly's name on it.Okay, I didn't get to it in
time. It rang a second timeI looked at it, kind of blew
it off. The third time Itried to reach for it, and by
that time you were up and gotto the phone, and then it was
just like, oh hell and Iall you could hear was a gal screaming

(11:56):
on the other end, and thenall of a sudden you just went ballistic
and that kind of started everything fromthere. I mean, we both got
dressed and what we raced, Imean I raced down to the hospital as
fast as I could without getting caught. And it's I mean five thirty morning.

(12:18):
There thinking too many people on thestreet, but still had to be
a little careful. But and wegot to the hospital and all we were
all we were met with was resistance. They wouldn't let me turn into the
emergency room area. Uh, theywouldn't let amber. They wouldn't let you
go up to the to the door, and the security guy stopped you.

(12:41):
And even though you ran off andhe still tracked you down. So so
they made you go to the Donand Millie's parking lot, not even a
parking lot on their campus. No, they told us, Yeah, you
were out of the car trying toget to the to the emergency rooms.
They wouldn't let you do. Theytold me to pull around to the Don

(13:03):
and Millions on the north side ofUNMC campus and park there and wait for
somebody something, some person to comegive us information or what was going on.
And during that time you were metwith was autumn. Autumn showed up,
but there were also families of othervictims that were there too. I

(13:28):
mean, it wasn't just us.There was probably half a dozen cars there
in the parking lot. Would youdid you get any idea that they knew
what was going on or did itseem like this was not even planned for?
Well, we have no idea whatwas going on, first of all,
And second of all, was thisroutine or was this something that they

(13:54):
Yeah, it hadn't planned on andthis's just where they told people to go.
I don't know, that's where weended up. And during that time,
what was going through your mind orwere you talking to people? What?
Well? I was talking to someof the ladies in the other vehicles,
and I don't know, don't rememberif their kids were victims or were
shot, you know, just woundedand were there or not. I don't

(14:16):
remember, I don't. I mean, I just waited to hear if Carly
was okay. But you know,I think it because we really didn't know
any information. We didn't know howmany times she was shot she did,
We didn't know, we didn't knowanything, and so we were kind of
waiting on them to and how longto tell us. How long did that

(14:37):
take before you even heard anything?It took I don't know. It took
at least half hour forty five,maybe an hour, because the the security
lady that you were with and drivingaround with come down, picked up Autumn
and took her up to the emergencyroom. Well, I was in the
car for an hour before they letme in, so so it was probably,

(15:00):
yeah, maybe two hours, andthen Autumn come back. I think
it was Autumn to come back andtold told us what happened and that she
was she had passed. And whatis that initial? What does that feel
like? Do you even remember whatthat felt like at that time? Uh?
One? It Well, one,first of all, I mean it

(15:22):
was totally by surprise, I mean, but second of all, it just
like felt like something was taken fromme. Car It wasn't my daughter,
but she I treated her like mydaughter, and I think she respected that.

(15:46):
But man, it was just like, like what happened? What I
couldn't believe it, you know,And it's just like your soul was just
taken from you. You know,I got kids, and it was It's
just somebody had taken her from meand I'll never see her again. That's

(16:10):
I don't know how else to explainit. In the days following from from
your perspective, you know, youkind of have to sit back and watch
me and yeah, what what isit from from your end? And when?

(16:30):
When did you have any sort ofepiphanies or or realizations of what actually
had happened and what we're going todo about it? Well, I mean
once we I mean I knew shewas gone and definitely in a better place.

(16:51):
Than we are today. We Iguess it wouldn't really. It probably
really sunk home more and really hurtmore when we finally got to the funeral
home and was able to able tosee her. I mean, that's like
a ton of bricks hitting you again, and just how beautiful she was and

(17:12):
how young. But I think thatwhen you when you see that person,
you see your loved one laying there, then it really hits home and it
really it finalizes it. You knowwhat she's gone. What was it like
to watch? I mean, II can't imagine from the outside looking in

(17:36):
on what I looked like other thana well, I don't care who you
are, how old you are.When you lose a child before your time,
is gonna hurt, and it hurtsbad. And how I to see
you in that pain and agony eventoday, how you're coping with it.
It's it's hard to understand, butthose probably first that probably first several hours,

(18:00):
I don't know how you really kindof held yourself together. You did,
but that's just how strong you are. And I know at that point,
at that point in time, youstill weren't believe in it or accepting
it to a certain degree. Butit was, And there's days I don't

(18:26):
accept it either because I see hera picture of my truck, and you
just wish she was here. ButI mean there's days we I mean,
it's just it's a process that myprocess on how I handle this is totally

(18:48):
different than your process. And forme to sit here and watch you and
how you process this hurts me morethan how I've processed it. Why does
that make sense. I know she'sin a better place. I know she's
with our Lord and Savior, JesusChrist, and she's happy, she's don't
hurts no more, and she's she'swatching over you, and she's watching over

(19:19):
her sister. And and you watchme struggle with that because I'm mad still
all of it. Well, Imean i'm mad too. I mean we
can be mad and we want justice. But I think also to really move
on, you have to I'll nevermove on, well I know, but

(19:41):
you will. But but and Ihate to say this, and I don't
forgive them for to move ahead.There's a difference between forgiving and and just
walking away. You have to forget. In my mind, I have to

(20:02):
forgive to move on. But Istill want justice. Okay, that doesn't
mean I'm at peace with them shootingher or the guys involved with it.
But I think in my upbringing,in my raising, you have to forgive
to really move on, and it'shard to do and I understand that.

(20:23):
And I might be wrong for sayingthis, but this is what I believe.
But I still have and still wantjustice to the nth degree on all
these people. Yeah, well,and I struggle with Okay, so God
universe. Carly believed in the universe. Carli even had tattoos that were all

(20:48):
about protection. If you need totake someone, why do you have to
take her like that? Why doyou have to leave her alone in a
cold floor. Why do you haveto why in that manner? That's a
good question because that does not seemGod like. No, it don't.
Where was Carly's miracle? You know, we didn't even get a say goodbye

(21:11):
to her in the hospital. No, that's sad. You know. I
don't know really how to answer that, except that I believe God has a
plan for us, and when it'sour time, it's our time. That
could be me tomorrow, me tomorrownight, it could be you tomorrow.

(21:34):
And I'm not saying it was Carly'stime. But God has a plan for
all of us. I know that. And if that was his plan for
her to get her to work inwork in other ways for him there maybe

(22:02):
so maybe that was maybe that wasthat, maybe that was a plan,
because look what it's doing, andit's not good that she's dead. Don't
get me wrong. Here here's whereI want to go with that. That
plan has also given you reasons toreally reach out, really to talk and

(22:26):
to really advocate for new laws,new rules, knew whatever within the judicial
system and for juveniles. Now,was that the plan? I don't know,
But wouldn't it be nice if someof these plans were a little bit

(22:48):
more clear? Well yeah, butthat God's Yeah, but God's plan is
clear, but that's not to usand was a million unless you believe that.
You believe well, And this iswhere I struggle, because if God
has a plan and he wants usminions down here to execute it, you

(23:14):
think it'd be a little bit moreclear so that we know we're on the
right path so we can do itone hundred percent. And you know me,
I don't do anything halfway. Soand I have this, you know,
I have a science brain and mywhole life has kind of been really
I'm doing what I'm supposed to bedoing, or I think I'm doing what
I'm supposed to be doing. Andthen poof, no, and Carly was

(23:36):
doing exactly what we're told she shoulddo. She was working several jobs,
she stayed out of trouble, shedidn't drink, she came home after work,
and didn't ask for anything from anyone. And here she is gets shot
eight times at her first party infifteen minutes. So, if there's a

(23:56):
plan and I'm supposed to be doingsomething in particular, because right now all
over it needs to being a littlebit more clear. Well, you,
first of all, it wasn't supposedto happen that way. Carl should have
been should have never been taken thatway. Now was that God's plan?

(24:17):
I don't know, but it hasdefinitely laid a course or a plan for
you and how you are going toone keep her memory alive and second of

(24:37):
all, help other victims at likeyourself, which you're doing. You might
not see it, but you arereaching the people you need to reach,
and your voice, you are goingto be the voice for many, many
victims here in Omaha, in ain a short period of time. I

(25:00):
know this is gonna happen because Ican see it in you and with things
that you're doing now. So allof this is leading and pushing you into
path that you weren't thinking of orgoing to do, but you are now
not really forced, but it isyour path because you want justice, You

(25:22):
want answers, just like every othervictim out there that's lost a child to
this ruthless gun shooting that's going onin Omaha. And you are the advocate
for those people, and Carly andthose other victims, and you will That's
the path that is given you.Now. If you choose to take that

(25:47):
path, which you're doing, you'regonna do wonder You're gonna do wonders in
the city of Omaha. Now,when people tell me that, I feel
like, you know, Carly couldadvocating for me and would probably be more
successful at it and better at itbecause she can. She just be being

(26:07):
her broke barriers and stigmatisms and shedidn't have any There was no I guess
there was no objection. Carly wasaccepted everywhere. Yeah, uh, And
so I feel like Carly could havebeen doing a lot more for me.

(26:30):
Maybe, but you've taken where shehas left off with your with the videos
that you've putten together, and youshow the kids like it in grief group
and they're in awe. And Ithink the more you can do things like
that, And you mean kids ingrief group wouldn't be like, oh,

(26:52):
look at that crazy redhead. Yeahno, well you're crazy anyway, but
no crazy fun it's carl had.Carly had an unbelievable characteristic about her.
She was very open to everybody.She was very accepting of everybody, no

(27:19):
matter red, white, green,black, brown, whatever. I think
she accepted me to a certain degree. We kind of butted heads every now
and then, but that's normal.I mean, that's that's apparent non judgmental.
Yeah, very judge very non judgmental. And and that's what made her
so special and so unique. Andhow come everybody liked her and loved her

(27:42):
so well. Now I see thattorch being passed to you to take her
message and spread that whatever that is, and that is now juvenile reform justice

(28:04):
in the city of Omah, forfor other victims, and to rewrite do
whatever laws, help rewrite the lawsthat are broken in this city in state
and maybe even nationwide. You don'tknow, Well, there's a lot broken.

(28:26):
I definitely know that, Yeah,there is. We do know that
recently court when you found out,you know, what was the first court
date that we went to? What'dthat feel like? When I believe the
first one was a hearing that wasfor well for the first one, Well,

(28:53):
first of all, it's it's unthinkablethat we have to do that.
First of all, you never think, you never you never thinking in in
that you're going to have to goto court and listen to the judge and
prosecutors and the the victims or notvictims, but the guys, judge,

(29:15):
police and and everybody talk about thisbecause it's just not it's not real and
why why why is it my daughter? Why is it our kid? Why
is it? Why is it Carly? So that was that was a little
strange to start with. I'm gonnaI'm gonna go backwards a little bit because

(29:38):
I want to talk about what Carly'sindependence like, her personality. Can you
tell me a little bit about herdrive, work, ethic and uh,
her independent spirit and some run insyou had there. She was very independent.

(30:03):
She got the taste of money andwhat that can and what you can
do with money. Very young,she was money too, but yeah,
but I didn't know that part.But anyway, as I watched her as
she's worked two jobs and sometimes threejobs, the independence that she gained,
but also the knowledge that she gainedwhen she earned, earned, earned her

(30:25):
her keep, and it was itwas, it was. It was fun
to watch her drive. She hada drive like her mother, just go
go, go, go go.Carl Carly worked. She loved her money
and she spent it. I mean, she's I think she was pretty few
frugal with her money, but shedid. She still spent some. She
wanted her own place so bad andthat was just the independent, independent side

(30:51):
of her that that was I thinkwas driving her a lot. She wanted
her own things, her own place, she wanted her own identity, which
she had, but she just wantedmore of it and that really pushed her
to, you know, to herjobs. And like I say, when

(31:11):
she got that money, she foundout what you can do, which is
a lot and freedom. Well,she was a good saver and she she
liked the independence of having her ownmoney, shouldn't have to ask anybody for
anything, and she was very proudof that. Yep. Right down to

(31:32):
even when you would offer to changeyour breaks or check her car out when
it was broken, well, Ididn't want it. She didn't like a
lot of help. I mean,there was time she come and asked me
to check it, but or elseshow me how to check it and then
I'll take care of it from there. You know. I offered to change
her breaks a couple of times.I offered to do different things for her,
but she really didn't want my help. She wanted to kind of figure

(31:56):
it out herself and take care ofit. Don't And I mean that's just
the way she was, because thatwas how independent she wanted to be.
She didn't want to rely on meor you. She wouldn't do it herself.
She took every opportunity that life presentedas a learning moment. I believe
we talk about coachable moments or parentingmoments, and I feel like Carly knew

(32:21):
that there was something to learn everytime something came up, even down to
when she was rear ended and shewas going through dealing with insurance companies and
them not wanting to settle or payher bills for her injuries, she tried
to do it herself. And thenshe came to me to ask questions,
and then she'd execute some of thethings I said. But then she was

(32:45):
Carly always would listen, listen onhow then she'd say, Okay, leave
me alone, I'll take care ofit. If she couldn't figure it out,
or if she couldn't get it handled, then she would come back and
ask you or I, I needhelp. How what do I do from

(33:05):
here? Right? And we mighttell her. Then she'd say, okay,
good, I'll get it. I'llhandle it from here. Then if
she still couldn't, she would cometo you and say, okay, mom,
you gotta step in here and helpme. Well. And I feel
like that skills like that or ambitionlike that is missing in a lot of

(33:29):
what we're dealing with with the storieswe hear about the juveniles and the detention
and the they just let them backon the streets or they put them back
in the home, or they're notcoming out of any sort of you know,
corrections. Isn't helping them with anyof that so that when they come
out they have more sense of selfor independence, And it's it's not helping

(33:52):
anyone. It's not helping no becausethese kids don't have the training from home.
It all starts at home. Andtoday's parents don't give a shit.
Yet they don't care, get youknow. I've heard of guys that have
been divorced and their kid comes homefor the it's his weekend. The kid
comes home, they give him ahundred dollars bills to say, here,
go have fun. I don't wantto see you till Sunday. I got

(34:13):
to take you home. What kindof parents that these parents today are one
of two things. And we're speakingparents as a whole, not as a
whole, but groups of parents parentsdon't. One don't want a parent because
they don't that it interferes with theirlife, the struggle to survive. Well

(34:37):
maybe that, but maybe not,Maybe just they don't want a parent.
Maybe they just they just want tohave the fun and have a kid and
then don't parent and then leave iton the mother or grandpa and grandma.
Maybe I don't know. Well,a lot of parents really money the kids.
Okay, if you don't have money, then don't have kids and don't

(34:57):
expect the government to pay for it. No. I mean a lot of
parents who who it became about money. So you had two parents working,
But then all of a sudden,they want to make up for the absence
of not being around their kid byhanding their kid more money, which doesn't
either because I don't parent. Thatjust tells the kid to go have fun.
And what's he gonna do with money. He's gonna get in trouble.

(35:20):
He's going to buy drugs, he'sgoing to buy alcohol, who knows what
else, He's going to buy gunand and start and start, you know.
And this is where I feel likekids. Kids today are spoiled.
They're given everything and they don't They'renot taught a thing from their parents,

(35:40):
no respect all. When we talkabout juveniles, and you know, when
you even down to toddlers, toddlersact up because something's wrong. Toddlers act
up. They kids need structure,yes, and they I mean parenting gurus
from years before us when a childthat they act up, just like when

(36:04):
a baby cries because they're diaper's wetor they're hungry. They're acting up because
they need something or they want attention, or they're lacking. So when juveniles
start to do this, I feellike, why can't the correction system see
this? Because they're the last resortof parenting right, Just letting them get
away with it and run back isnot parenting. That's bad parenting. So

(36:28):
whether their parents are you know,if the mom's if the father's absent,
and the mom's working three jobs andshe's never around so she can't know what
her kids are doing, or whetherthe parents are on drugs, or whether
no matter what it is, there'sa kid acting out because they need something.
And all of these community programs andall of this detention, I don't

(36:53):
feel like they're addressing what the kidsare well, probably not because they don't.
They don't have have there's ant there'snot enough people in the system to
help teach these kids or give They'renever going to be able to give them
enough. But they need to beable to teach them and help them learn

(37:17):
right from wrong. You just can'tarrest a kid let him go because they
did you didn't teach him a thing. He needs to sit. He needs
to be in a system to wherehe learns something from a mentor or or
an instructor or somebody as they aresitting well. And there's so many fingers
to this or roots to these causesthat you can't just there's not one simple

(37:45):
band aid. But at the sametime, each one of these kids,
they're screaming for help in one wayor another. But let's okay, so
let's look at the fingers. One, you got the home. Two,
let's talk about schools. I watchedit with the breakdown of my girls in
school. When they stopped doing spellingtests, they stopped doing they stop celebrating

(38:07):
certain holidays to not offend people.They stopped like we looked forward to Christmas
programs. That's where you got alittle taste of like playing or acting or
singing. They they take these thingsfrom school, and now there isn't even
life skills. I mean, evenwhen I went to school, why aren't
they teaching us basic life skills likehow to balance a checkbook? You know,

(38:30):
Home mech is pretty much gone,so shop, class, shop,
all that basic stuff is gone fromthe school systems. I didn't even learn
how to balance to check I learnedhow to use an old typewriter. I
learned. I went to shop class, I learned things about shop. We
did have home mech class. Ididn't take home mech in when I was
high school, but well, lastI checked, they took those out though

(38:51):
I understand that, and that's partof the reason why the unemployment the way
it is because we don't have theskilled plumb electricians, mechanics available to fill
the jobs that there is because weare not teaching the basic skills in high
school no more. Well and itand it makes you wonder if this is

(39:14):
by design. Yeah, it's thewoke teachers union that wants to do it
their way. I don't care whatthat's that's nationwide and even a bigger picture
though, I feel like the systemand this goes all the way up to
government. Is this what they're tryingto do. Are they trying to dumb

(39:37):
us down so that they can controlwhatever we do and not have freethinking.
Obviously there's a lot of conversations aboutthey don't want you to be a freethinker
because freethinkers. It's kind of likewhen you watch Divergent, right, Well,
the government today they want to giveyou everything they don't. They want
control. They want control of ourhealth systems, our school systems, and

(40:00):
our pocketbooks. So until we changethe way our government is today, they're
going to try to control every stepof us from the time we get up
to the time we go to bedwell, and that's where people have to
pick certain messages that certain parties bring, right, Like you know, I
am an entrepreneurial thinker. I wantto control the money I earn. I

(40:22):
want to decide what's best for it. I don't want the government to say,
well, we know what's best todo with your money. And you
know what's ironic is Carly again beingthe investigative girl that she was. She
researched. You know, when BlackLives Matter happened and George Floyd happened,
and Carly was very she was makingposters and doing all these things. And

(40:45):
then when it start to unravel aboutwell, where's this money going that they're
raising in the name of all this, where's it actually ending up? And
I said, Carly, just goresearch, Go research before you do this,
Just like when she was going tovote, just research so that you
know that you're voting for something youreally believe in. Mm hmm. Well,

(41:06):
she researched and she came back andshe said, whoa, whoa,
whoa. And that's what young kidsdon't do. They yeah, they don't.
And Carly, well, she's justlike you. I mean, you
research everything. Carly researched everything shelearned she wanted to learn, and that's
what opened her eyes. And that'swhat these young kids today they're not doing

(41:30):
enough of. They're just taking forgranted and they're just getting everything for free.
Everybody's given them something, and theway they go well, and Carly
didn't want to be played a foolbecause she felt like she had been played
a fool by her father. Yep, so that wasn't ever going to happen
again. No, And that's probablywhat got her And that's probably what I
got her shot today. What doyou mean She wasn't gonna play She wasn't

(41:53):
gonna be played a fool. Shewas going to stand up for herself.
And if if somebody was jacking withor she was going to tell them to
f off and she's going to standher ground. Yeah. And Carly was
very good at very polite, butthen if you pushed it, just like
a lot of independent women, ifyou push far enough that they're going to

(42:14):
say something that you may not like. That's right. But I feel like
you know, some of the kidsthat we've heard about and met in grief
group, there's generations of emotional andmental trauma where people have never dealt with
their traumas and then they passed it. Then they have a kid and then
they pass it on or they don'tknow how to deal with it, and

(42:34):
then it builds up and they don'teven know how to deal with the kid.
But as a child, you're supposedto be like, there's this person
that was feeding you. Baby,you fed me, toddler, you fed
me. But then these people inyour nexus that are that close, you're
supposed to be able to trust thosepeople. But then when things happen that

(42:58):
to us, isn't that kid hasno outlet because they're that's the person you
would run to, or that's theperson that you're supposed to trust. But
when these bad things are happening,and then you're at school and they're saying
this is bad or this this isa bad thing, but you grew up
watching it thinking well, wait,I'm supposed to trust my parents or my
caretaker. Then they're just confused ina big old mess. And then I

(43:22):
feel like, that's why we've gotkids lash now, because they have no
clue what to do and what's right. Well that's because they these kids today,
they're they're they're they're born in thesesituations. They see these situations every
day and they don't know how tohandle it. They don't know what to

(43:44):
do. And then when they reachout for help, they're not going to
get help because mom and dad that'swhat they growed up with themselves. This
is generation about generation, about generationabout generations. It's just compiled on top
of each other to the point wherethese kids today they don't know what's right
or wrong. They don't know theygrew up with abusive families and and and

(44:08):
aunts and uncles and things like that, and they just think it's normal because
it's been happening for years and yearsand years. It's not normal, and
they don't know how to react.And then they're scared if they do reach
out and talk to somebody because ofwhat's going to happen if they find out.
They're scared because they don't want therepercussions of from from their from their

(44:30):
folks, or from from their friends, or they don't want to get shot,
they don't want to get raped again. Whatever. Well, and we
so on another on another podcast episode, we're going to be speaking with uh
who come from that and have seenit firsthand. And I guess I wanted

(44:51):
to ask for anyone who maybe canrelate to your situation where it wasn't as
necessarily your child and you're kind ofhaving to watch a mother grieve, the
family grieve actually yes, and fightAnd what was most beneficial to you when

(45:16):
what made you decide one to gotalk to someone about it and to what
did it help and what did ithelp you with? Well kind of emotional
freak anyway, And I've been tocounseling before. I think everybody probably needs
counseling at one point in time.And I think even as married couple,

(45:37):
you should maybe do a counseling sessiononce a month just to keep your relationship
healthy and moving forward. I seenothing wrong with that. I have through
my health, through my work andmy insurance I've had. I got access
to Employee Assistant program which gives whichI can get free counseling up to a

(46:00):
certain number. And I don't I'mnot going to say I didn't need it,
but it sure helped me to talkto the gal that I was talking
to, uh and seeing and itjust it it brought out some things,
you know, Uh, there's sometears shed. I say, you did

(46:23):
need it because you said you needto move on or something, and I
went, whoa, you need togo talk to somebody about what not to
say? But that and that's truebecause but then see that I and since
Carly wasn't my child, my processand in grieving process is totally different than
yours and autumns and your folks andgrandpa and grandma. Now I'm not saying

(46:50):
that's good. I'm not saying that'sbadt It might be bad to a certain
degree, but well, everyone's isdifferent, everybody's different. But but it
but it also I think also helpedme understand you and your process and how
how you are going through the differentstages of grief because there are different stages.

(47:14):
I mean there's there's I don't knowhow many, but there's different stages.
I think I revisit stages and ithelped me. But I think I
think it helped me understand your processand where you're at and how I should
handle that and be helpful to you. So you're saying you're glad you went,

(47:38):
Well, yeah, I'm not sayingI'm not. Yeah, if if
I would, probably if I couldget eight more free sessions through work,
I'd probably started up again. It'sgood to be able to talk to people.
Well, you have to, yougot you have to. You have
feeling I got feelings just like youdo, to express as You've got to

(48:00):
get those out. You've got totalk about this like this. It's like
your daughter Autumn. She don't talkabout it to anybody that we know of
except her boyfriend, and that's probablyvery little. And your folks, your
folks won't go to all counselor whenthey need counseling more than anybody. It
helps you to talk to somebody.You have to get those feelings out.

(48:22):
If you don't, you're going todo something stupid and it's not going to
be the right thing. It's justnot healthy. It's not healthy. And
then where we are at mental healthand why we have people that just simply
need mental health help, but they'resitting in jail right because we don't have
facilities. So let's end that hereand thank you for coming in and hopefully

(48:44):
everybody likes what they hear and theywant to come back for another one.
Have a good day. If youwant to learn more about Carly's story and
the journey that I've been going throughwith legislative policy, change requests, and
for change in public safety. CarlRain dot com, k A R l

(49:05):
Y Rain r a i N dotcom and on Facebook, remember Carly Rain
and stand up for Carly Rain.I encourage you to take a look,
share her story, and spread herkindness. This is problem over. I
am far from over. Help us. You love me.