10/14/2025 - OOGA BOOGA

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's a kid Chris show. I'm you know, shocked. First
of all, I stayed up late. Daddy doesn't normally stay late.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Uh. I'm shocked at the Bills. I mean to Atlanta.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Their offense is not that good. The AFC is wide open.
The Bengals can really capitalize on.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
I know, I know that's the thing. On Thursday, I
told you this off the radio. The worst is gonna
be is if I know you don't where this is going.
The worst is gonna be is if the Bengals win
against Pittsburgh, because all the dopey fans in this town
will be, Oh my.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
God, it'll give everybody hope. It might be false hope.
It is false hope, but that's what we dope.

Speaker 4 (00:47):
What we do around here. At least we'll look cool
wearing are all white.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
I do like that, you know, I do like the themes.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Are always really fun, but it's like, can we just
get back to win?

Speaker 2 (01:00):
No. The theme is I love the white jerseys, especially.

Speaker 4 (01:04):
When you do it at night. My dad and I
are going to that one, so you.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Know, I do think about your dad a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
When you think about my dad a lot when there's oil.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
No when uh, you know, and and your dad.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
When I think about your dad too, I do think
about fans that have like your dad's story about having
uh those those tickets since you know, through.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
All the bad years.

Speaker 3 (01:29):
Oh yeah, my dad and my grandpa, they've been supporting
this team my whole entire life. Yeah, they used to
have season tickets and you know, going with them growing
up and now here we are today. But yeah, for him,
I'm like, this guy, he's been, you know, a fan
for sixty years and hasn't seen much.

Speaker 4 (01:51):
He's so excited about the Joe Burrow era and.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
I know, well, pain, Yeah, it happens, and it's it's
the it's Joe Burrow's fault. It's that it's the wall
that they were supposed to build around what you're supposed
to protect.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
Oh, the old line. And now we're dealing with the
guy the own no line.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
Now we're dealing with a guy that's the most forty
one years old, and I'm like, it's not a twenty
that's not a twenty seven year old.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
You gotta be careful, make sure he stays off his butt.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, I'm gonna cripple that guy.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
But hey, they look.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
Good in the second half in Green Bay. Now, I'm
feeling optimistic about this. On Thursday, you think got.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
That first round of plays. He came off the He's like,
damn off the field. He was like, Jesus Christ, you
guys trying to kill me. I'm there, forty years old.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
They did a quick three and out, and I think
Joe Flacco had to get his stuff together.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
Like he sat down a guy on the iPad and said,
looking at a price line, how do I get back
to Cleveland?

Speaker 2 (02:48):
No?

Speaker 4 (02:50):
How much for an uber from Green Bay to Cleveland?

Speaker 5 (02:54):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (02:54):
Did you hear Mike Tomlin's comments?

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Yeah, I don't get it.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah, Mike Tomlin was not too happy. But the Bengals
picking up Joe Flacco.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Well, I mean he's look that dude right there. I
would not want to be his kids like and be
caught like sneaking out of the house or something when
I'm like a thirteen year old, I wouldn't.

Speaker 4 (03:10):
Want to be on his bad stade krist in general.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Speaking back in the house and he's in the garage, Wow,
I'd be.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
Like arms crossed, giving you the evil eyes, just staring
into your soul.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
That's one dude you don't want.

Speaker 4 (03:22):
To piss off.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
No, it's like two am and he just goes go
in your room. We'll talk about it in the morning.
I'd be like, oh God, damn it.

Speaker 3 (03:29):
Imagine Mike Tomlin looking into your soul and saying something like,
I'm just really disappointed in you.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
The same with that coach from Detroit.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
I'd be like, oh, all right, I would not be
able to sleep the whole night.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
Nope, Oh man, we couldn't use somebody like Mike Tomlin
here in Cincinnati.

Speaker 4 (03:48):
We really could.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, but you'd have to It'll never happen.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
You got you gotta dig deep in the pockets.

Speaker 3 (03:54):
Now, does Zach Taylor have a job after Thursday if
the Bengals can't beat Steelers.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Look, I'm not an expert, but all I all I
hear is that the guy, I mean, you've got to
be a team player. And all I hear is the
guy won't let go of.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Of calling the plays.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
You know, And if one of his guys on the
team wouldn't let go if he kept saying, look, I
need you to do this, and they kept saying no,
I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that, he wouldn't
be a team player. So if people are saying to
him like he exactly, maybe somebody else should be calling
the plays, and he's going, no, no, I'm doing it, even
though he's a head coach.

Speaker 2 (04:32):
No no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
I think it just goes to show that Joe Burrow
has a lot of power over this team, because obviously
we haven't seen him in four weeks.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
I know, but he've gone way down to.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
Supposed to be a team exactly.

Speaker 4 (04:48):
Yeah, he's their leader, he's their guy, I know.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
But they listened to him too much, and it in said.
They said, they said, let's just hire all of Joe's friends,
and they did that, and then they watch everybody in
the NFL curb stomped Joe Burrow. Now he's hurt and
he's home playing video games.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
And look at what happened with Trey Hendrickson. Yeah, all
of that drama in the off season. Now he's got
a back injury and he's likely not going to be
playing on Thursday.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, he's in a wheelchair playing video.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
Games and they're talking about trading him.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Oh yeah, but now he's busted. Hey who wants a
broken China?

Speaker 3 (05:29):
But I can guarantee you he will be good for
next year. Yeah good, it's not getting any younger.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
No, he's gonna be up. We'll find him on marketplace.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
I hate it.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
Like my dad and I have always said to each
other after a losing game or whatever is going on,
you know, we look.

Speaker 4 (05:45):
At each other like, you know what, there's always next year. Yeah,
always next year.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Well, when you work at radio, it doesn't matter if
you have a contract or not. There's never always next year.
You don't even know if you're gonna be working next quarter.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
I was, yeah, speaking of that.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
I was talking to our boss yesterday and we were
talking about my contract, and I was like, that's gonna
make you feel good. You know, we've got you for
a couple of years. I'm like, I don't really feel
good about anything after.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
What just happened.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
No, they always say that. They always like, look, man,
we out, we need we need to get more al
up around here.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
Oh really, I didn't. I just see a bunch of
people get let out of here. There's blood down the
down the rug.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:24):
Watching all of our friends get walked out last week
was not very reassuring. It's kind of like that Seinfeld
episode where where Jerry Seinfeld makes the reservation for his car. Yeah,
you know, to rent a car and he gets there,
and yes, I've had to deal with that call to
make the reservation, but you can't hold on to it.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
I've had to deal with that.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
At restaurants, you make a reservation like a month in advance,
you show up, they're like, okay, it's gonna be about
forty five minutes.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
So like, what, wait, hold on, what was the point
of exactly?

Speaker 4 (06:51):
Oh, we're just waiting for a table to get cleaned.
It should have been cleaned two months ago.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Let me go and boot somebody out.

Speaker 4 (06:58):
What is the point of making the reservation?

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah? Yeah, So that's so you signed a new thing.

Speaker 4 (07:05):
I guess. I'm good.

Speaker 3 (07:06):
Well two years, I guess two years.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Oh you did sign that's good.

Speaker 4 (07:12):
I'm through twenty twenty seven.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
You know, how does that work for you?

Speaker 5 (07:15):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (07:15):
That goes along with mine, so that we could both
walk at the same time together.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yeah, arm in arms, see you later.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
This is why we don't have a whole lot of
stuff in our studio. We have a couple of bobbleheads
and your screaming goats.

Speaker 2 (07:25):
Yeah, which we do have to walk.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
Out together to our goat.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
We can just walk at everything's easy.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Busy situation, mister officer, before you walk me out of
here because I'm a threatening disc jockey.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
Can I go get my goat?

Speaker 4 (07:42):
Don't forget the goats.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Phone number is five one three seven And that's Sarah Eliite.

Speaker 4 (07:52):
You know what I just came across on my headline page.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
What oh, what's wrong?

Speaker 3 (07:58):
Remember Gladys the gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo that just
had the baby.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
Did they shoot her?

Speaker 5 (08:08):
Not?

Speaker 4 (08:08):
This okay, she's safe, all right? She had that baby.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
And remember on social media they were asking people to
come up with names and they were gonna pick one. Yeah,
making the headlines. They just named the baby. What do
you think this baby's name is?

Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't even want to know.

Speaker 4 (08:29):
And Boca Joe. Nobody said that.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
I know they already had the name picked.

Speaker 4 (08:35):
Yeah, like nobody came up with them, Boca Joe.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
They had the name picked.

Speaker 4 (08:40):
For sure, but it got a lot of traction on.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
That's all they did for.

Speaker 4 (08:45):
There you go, Gladys's baby.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
Aside from the zoo in Indiana, something spooky going on.
A human skull, yes, found on the bank of the
Whitewater River. Imagine you're out fishing and like a skull
just floats on by what.

Speaker 4 (09:08):
I guess. This thing was found a couple of months ago,
back in June.

Speaker 3 (09:12):
And after it was reported, the coroner said, this thing's
pretty old.

Speaker 4 (09:17):
How old do you think the skull was?

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Well, how do they how old a skull is?

Speaker 4 (09:21):
Because the corner goes through it?

Speaker 3 (09:23):
Oh does its ish on it ish?

Speaker 2 (09:28):
Let me think.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
Very old, very very Oh my gosh, try four thousand,
two hundred and seventy years old. Oh obviously not a
full skull. Twenty three hundred BC is what they're saying.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
So is the killer sut there? Do we have to
lock our doors and windows?

Speaker 4 (09:48):
Should we let the parents know who's the family?

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, they haven't found the killer just yet, but yeah,
twenty three hundred BC. They think it was someone who
was part of a tribe. They don't know if it's
a man or a woman, but.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, probably died of COVID. Mom have a mask?

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Yes there was a mask attached to it. But still
crazy is that to figure that out? And it doesn't
look like your typical.

Speaker 6 (10:17):
Skulland like I have, it looks just like you shelf
on a forehead like I have.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
I can balance hair cup on my shelf. Look at this.

Speaker 4 (10:29):
Wait, this is actually impressive.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
It's not oppressive, it's horrible. No, this is you could
go to the circus for this takes a lot. You're
showing it to me like it's horrible. You think one
of those dogs with like a ball on its nose, or.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
Like it's my forehead. It's it's like a I have
frank It's forehead.

Speaker 4 (10:46):
Look at this perfect for spooky season.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
It's not perfect.

Speaker 4 (10:50):
It's not even staying up. You're so dramatic.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Look at this right here, it's a shelf.

Speaker 4 (10:55):
I don't even see it. I don't even see what
you're talking about.

Speaker 2 (10:59):
Look at this.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Gosh, I want to get that shaved down so I
look like I have a normal head.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
Oh, we're not chipping into your head, you dork.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
So the coroner said, this discovery underscores the importance of
our community's vigilance.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
That's just say a bunch of gebberations.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
They want to commend the How about that, Hey, we
don't know who the hell this is, they said, they
want to commend the landowner for the responsible action reporting
the finding.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
So if you happen to.

Speaker 3 (11:29):
Be out fishing, walking, swimming, whatever you're doing by the
whatever river, and you do find a skull or a
bone or whatever, make.

Speaker 4 (11:37):
Sure you do report it. Knowing me, I'd chuck it, scary.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
Take it, drink and run home.

Speaker 4 (11:47):
Knowing me, I would not report it. I would scream.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
It and run.

Speaker 4 (11:55):
That's so mean. That is so mean.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
I would not think to you pick this thing up,
put it in some sort of like zip block baggy
and bring it to a police officer like I don't know.

Speaker 4 (12:08):
Four and seventy years old.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
Wow, yeah, I mean it looks at this point it
looks nothing like a skull.

Speaker 4 (12:15):
It's actually amazing that it's intact as much as it is.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
I hardly know that.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
I don't know because people are extremely smart, Christopher. That's
why the coroners are doing what they're doing.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, I don't get it, Like who cares?

Speaker 1 (12:30):
Like if I'm at my desk and I'm eating a muffin,
then they come in and go, look, some guy found
this skull. I'm gonna be like, I mean, I'm not
gonna go through this. We'll cane you find out who
it is and how old it is.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
I'm no, okay, throw it back in the water.

Speaker 4 (12:43):
At this point, what is it even Yeah, what does
it matter?

Speaker 3 (12:46):
But I guess they have to do that in case
there is somebody out there missing. They don't know how
old this thing is right away, and they could get
some sort of answers if it's something within the last
fifty years, but at this point twenty three hundred BC,
we got nothing.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yeah, right, Like, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
I think that's a part of a tribe, a tribe,
that's what they said in the article.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
You know, I've seen those pictures of those those tribe
if you google those. There's tribes out there on these islands.
Oh yeah, and uh, like you can't go near them. Well,
first of all, they'll kill you if you go like
near their beach or whatever. They will come out and
like kill you.

Speaker 4 (13:21):
What do they think you're like a thread or something.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
Of course, they don't know who the hell you are.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
You show up in some kind of like, uh, you know,
some t shirt from Pacsun, they don't know what that is.

Speaker 2 (13:31):
And then so they they'll they'll kill you.

Speaker 1 (13:33):
And also I believe if you go near those islands
you could be arrested because you carry diseases and stuff
and they're not. You know, they'll catch whatever you have on.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
You then yeah. Yeah, if you see a tribe.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
Imagine what like a like a simple like commytia would
do to some tribe. Yeah, like if I showed up
with one of my chlamydias I caught in the past.

Speaker 4 (13:57):
Are you planning on having suck with somebody in a tribe?

Speaker 2 (14:00):
Think about that, Think about the look of what.

Speaker 4 (14:05):
Like, who's this neanderthal freaks with his forehead?

Speaker 2 (14:11):
Show it up. He's one of us, Please, he's one
of us.

Speaker 4 (14:18):
Stay away from the tribes. How did we get here?

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Even they would still point at my package and laugh.
Ha ha ha, he's not one of us.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
There's a joke there that is inappropriate for the R waves,
So I'm just gonna leave it alone.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
It's little, it's pink.

Speaker 4 (14:40):
You really are not of this world, Christopher.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
He's from the haha tribe.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
Why is it peak? You're not right.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
It's like a little piece of gum.

Speaker 7 (14:59):
Man Station East Coasts and crafted hot grilled subs, fresh
cut fries and lemonade. It's all about good days in
Station East Coast Order online today.

Speaker 6 (15:11):
Bring it man, bring it kind of like a uh
galactic type of open.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
Yeah it is.

Speaker 6 (15:17):
It's like a Halloween Vibei can't wait for Thanksgiving and
Christmas edition. Beangals on the practice field later today, getting
ready for that AFC North Battle Thursday night, of course
at pay Course Stadium. Yeah, you'll be right here on
the one O two seven w E.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
B N because you're all white, fit ready, You're gonna
wear it all. Yeah, it's an all white out for Thursday.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
He's white. Last time.

Speaker 6 (15:44):
I'm just gonna go as me. Cincinnati out to snap
that four game losing streak. Uh, let's see.

Speaker 5 (15:51):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (15:52):
Pittsburgh head coach Mike Tomlins said yesterday it's beyond him
that the Joe Flacco started as the star, was the
starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns, and then three weeks
later he's traded to the Bengals. He just kind of
called out the Cleveland GM saying a guy was an
idiot for basically trading Joe Flacco to Cincinnati.

Speaker 3 (16:14):
So nobody intimidated. He's worried that we're going to beat
him on Thursday.

Speaker 6 (16:18):
Ray hendrickson his day to day with a bad problem. Me,
Mica Sicki is out a while with a pectoral injury.

Speaker 4 (16:25):
Let's see when that happened.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
That's two biglins.

Speaker 6 (16:29):
Tennessee Titans fired head coach Brian Callahan yesterday after a
one and five start. That team's a mess. The former
Bengals defensive coordinator is out in just twenty three games
in Nashville, going four to nineteen.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
And if Flacco just went to go coach that team, yeah, NFL.

Speaker 6 (16:45):
Last night, the Atlanta stuns Buffalo twenty four fourteen. Chicago
got by Washington twenty five twenty four Jake the Snake
Moody with.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
A thirty eight yards field goal.

Speaker 6 (16:54):
Everybody for the Bears win. It is stop everybody. Let's
see baseball. Blake Snell, Blake the Snake, Snell dealing with
eight shutout innings, retiring their final seventeen batters. Dodgers hold
off those brew crew last night, two to one, Game
one of the NLCS. Snell struck out ten, but the

(17:15):
Dodger bullpen had to get out of a bases loaded
jam in the ninth game two tonight in Milwaukee.

Speaker 3 (17:21):
I don't even care about baseball anymore now that the
Reds are out of it. I'm like, eh, I don't
care till February when they're back in Arizona.

Speaker 6 (17:28):
Jorge Polanco and Julio Rodriguez, each of three run homers.
Is Seattle dump Toronto ten to three. The Mariners are
up two games to done now in the ALCS game
three tomorrow night in the Great Northwest. That's Seattle, Washington.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
You and me, I hate it well with that attitude,
that means you should just stop watching the NFL.

Speaker 2 (17:46):
Period. Then right now, my bangles aren't.

Speaker 3 (17:49):
It's not over till it's over. Okay, until I see
you write that down across the low of a chance.

Speaker 6 (17:57):
College basketball right around the corner everybody number one in
the AP Associated Press Top twenty five preseason poul Houston
is second, follow followed by Florida, Yukon and Saint John's
at the top five. Kentucky is ninth, Louisville eleventh, Ohio
State thirtieth. National Hockey League Action. New Jersey got by

(18:17):
Columbus last night and the Jackets home opener three to two.
And our beloved Cyclones their opened their season on at
home Saturday against those dreaded Wheeling Dailies.

Speaker 4 (18:28):
You got to get their early space. You can get
that free calendar.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
They play those guys every other game. Yeah, that's that way.

Speaker 4 (18:33):
Yeah, it's fine.

Speaker 6 (18:34):
Five hundred games against Wheeling, brand new coach too, that's right, Yeah,
new players just vised back for what eleventh season?

Speaker 4 (18:42):
He's got that dad strength, wife, Baby, So you.

Speaker 6 (18:46):
Know when you go to the hockey game, Yeah, what
do you eat?

Speaker 2 (18:48):
What do you dog? You go to?

Speaker 5 (18:50):
Uh?

Speaker 6 (18:51):
You go to Penn Station East Coast subs or it's
all about good a good taste the snake handcrafted subs
fries and then ty or.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
What do you get? Thank you very much.

Speaker 6 (19:02):
Order you're right on top of it today, baby, order
online today at Penn Station East Coasts.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
I remember, he ain't no joke.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Yeah yeah, if you go to kid Chris dot com
Sarah Alice, you'll see the story. By this happened here
in Cincinnati. This twenty three year old woman was shot
dead by a friend during a game of Russian Roulette.
Who who would step up and go yeah, yeah, yeah,
let's play that.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
I mean, I've been a part of some really aggressive
board games.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, but when.

Speaker 3 (19:37):
People get pissed off or playing Monopoly or something too long,
but never thought to take a gun into somebody.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
Well, Russian Roulette, obviously, you know you know how to
play that game. But yeah, who does that. Who says, yeah, yeah,
let's let's do that.

Speaker 4 (19:52):
Dude. People get heated over stuff.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
Yeah, but that's you know what that game is.

Speaker 4 (19:56):
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
That's not a get mad game. That's a let's click
this until somebody gets shot. So the whole story is
up on Kidchris dot com. This other one is a
uh this dude, Oh no, if you watch the video
this dude, he doesn't have arms, but he's got fingers. Wait,

(20:19):
you got these little nubs and he plays drums.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
Hold on a second, are the nubs like sticking out
of his shoulders?

Speaker 5 (20:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, and he plays drums. Go on Kidchris dot com
and you can watch them. Look at the guy, go.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
Look at him.

Speaker 4 (20:43):
Oh my gosh, he's awesome. Wait, it's exactly what you think.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
He's got the sticks between his fingers, some really strong fingers.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
I know it.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
Those are like ye, they're like little little thing like
little skin tags dangling off his shoulders holding those sticks.

Speaker 4 (21:14):
No excuses, I know, exactly. Get your stuff together, people.

Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yeah, I don't want to go into work today. We
watch the guy in nubs playing drums on stage.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
Yeah, he has no arms and he's making it work. Yeah,
that's so inspirational.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
And he's wearing glasses, so he's got bad eyes too.

Speaker 4 (21:32):
Just the hits keep on coming.

Speaker 1 (21:34):
So somebody calls him four eyes. He's like, whatever, I
got fingers hanging off my shoulders?

Speaker 2 (21:42):
How do you put your classes on? Oh?

Speaker 3 (21:44):
Wait, that's a good Does he just kind of have
to like slide into them? I would love to talk
to him about his everyday life.

Speaker 4 (21:54):
I mean, y'all look at him.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
Go have you clip your toenails?

Speaker 5 (21:59):
Right?

Speaker 4 (22:00):
I know?

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Now I'm thinking about the ever like, what if you
have to wipe you know, you can't wipe yourself right,
that definitely he can't get back there with the exact fingers.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
So what do you have? Do you have just like
an assistance like a wooden horse in your bathroom? But
you just got to straddle and just stop what I'm.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
Just trying to think how you got to be creative?
So with your glasses, do you just have him laying
on the console at home.

Speaker 4 (22:25):
And you just kind of like wiggle your head into Wait,
try it right now.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
With your things sticking.

Speaker 4 (22:29):
Yeah, put your glasses on the edge of the table, right.

Speaker 1 (22:32):
And you just with your little dangling fingers off your shoulders.

Speaker 3 (22:35):
You like you're about to bob for apples, right, and
then oh you're kind of doing it.

Speaker 4 (22:43):
There you go, you did it. Yeah, so it's possible.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
Right, what's the next thing?

Speaker 4 (22:48):
You got to play the drums with your numbs?

Speaker 2 (22:50):
All right? I got my and here I am, I
got my arms.

Speaker 4 (22:56):
You would never survived this situation. Arms up, This would
never work for you.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
You're gonna play the microphone at the drunk.

Speaker 4 (23:06):
You're so ridiculous right now.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
Well, I'm just trying to live like this guy with
the nubs.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
Oh my gosh, you got a kid, Chris dot Com.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
You've got to check out this video.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
This guy is very inspirational, though also incredible.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
Also up there, this is a scary, scary video. The
Wichita Police put this out. Caught on ring cam. This
girl is like walking up to this house and a
guy grabs her and runs off with her. Oh nope,
and they don't know who the girl is or the guy.
Nothing's been reported. It's just a random new fear unlocked.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah, no thanks, he just grabs her and runs off.

Speaker 4 (23:52):
M not scary.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
The first thing I thought was what a great tease
for a movie trailer.

Speaker 4 (24:03):
In real life stuff though, No, but what if it was.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Like a if they did this and released it and it.

Speaker 2 (24:09):
Was like a viral way to promote a movie.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
But I'm sure that's not the case. No, But still
in this video you can clearly see that. Yeah, but
you can't tell who the dude is.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
But they don't know who either one is. Nobody's been
reported as missing or anything.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
But I'm sure that they'll figure out who she is
quick because who knows. You can see her pretty well,
but with him, you can't see his face or anything.
You can just tell that he's wearing a T shirt
and jeans.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
What if he's from the local morning zoo Christopher Sarah Elise.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Right next to you is a guy by the name
of Craig Gas who I've known for a long time,
and he is in town. He will be at the
Madison Theater on Friday with a guy on the name
of Chris Kale, who is a very intimidating look a
guy who plays bass in a band called Five Finger
Death Punch. But he will be doing comedy with Craig
Gas in a live podcast called Beardo in Weirdo at.

Speaker 2 (25:08):
The Madison Theater.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
And from what I understand from a friend of ours
that's in Baltimore. It's a pretty incredible show, so I'm excited. Craig,
I've had seen you in person and.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
I was still on tears. Oh were you really at
that time?

Speaker 4 (25:25):
Ye?

Speaker 5 (25:25):
Well no, I've been sober now twenty years, so.

Speaker 8 (25:28):
I feel like it was before that.

Speaker 3 (25:30):
Okay, yeah, how do you feel looking at Christopher? I
mean he's lost an entire person.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, well, you knew me before I got fat fat
I was almost three hundred pounds.

Speaker 5 (25:40):
No way, really, Well, it's crazy. We've known each other
for a long time and.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
You knew me before I got married too.

Speaker 5 (25:47):
I yeah, and had kids. I associate Chris with when
you go to prison and you and you hang out
with other prisoners, you learn how to get better at
your awful behaviors. And Chris, I'm a voice guy, do impressions,
and he said, you know, you could really ruin people's
lives for these impressions, and I'm.

Speaker 8 (26:06):
Like, I never thought about that.

Speaker 5 (26:07):
So I just started amping up how I approached doing
impressions and theater of the mind uh in radio, and
I just started causing chaos fromwhere it's so much fun.
It's so much but I mean, I would go on
the air, and what's crazy about it is I would
do like pranks where people in the building who should

(26:30):
know better would get prank by it. And I'd be
on the air as Paul Stanley and Jane Simmons for
an entire break, and then we'd go to commercial and the.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
Door would run in.

Speaker 8 (26:39):
People would run in. The salespeople go, but.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yeah, nopeyeh, where is he? Where are they?

Speaker 4 (26:44):
You're definitely a friend of Christopher.

Speaker 5 (26:46):
Ye, so, but yeah, it was. I mean, I have
this weird backstory of doing impressions. I I played a
bunch of characters on a bunch of TV shows on
King of Queen, Sex and the City, but I'm mostly
known for doing voices, you know, on The Howard Stern Show,
Now Again, Family Guy, American Dad. And I've always been

(27:08):
able to do any voice that I hear because of
how I grew up with my family.

Speaker 4 (27:12):
Wait, this is awesome.

Speaker 5 (27:15):
My whole family is deaf. True story, which people besides Chris.

Speaker 4 (27:22):
Were they born deaf? H your impressions lead them to like,
what's going on?

Speaker 5 (27:30):
Well, my mom was born completely deaf. My dad was
born with all of his hearing, then he lost it
when he was a kid.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Oh that's terrible.

Speaker 5 (27:38):
He got an accident, popped out his ear drums. Yeah.
So he meets my mom and they fall in love,
get married. They have my sister first, and my sister
is born with my mom's jeans, completely deaf. I'm born
with my dad's jeans with my hearing, and so I'm
the only one in my family could hear. And then
growing up in a deaf family, I couldn't learn like

(27:59):
how to talk for my family learned how to talk
about watching TV, copying all the voices I heard on TV.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
Oh, this is amazing.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
And so it makes sense that you're a gigantic music fan, right,
So that's all you had and music.

Speaker 5 (28:14):
And I never even got an accent from the Bronx
where I grew up, and everybody in the Bronx, I
always say, sounds like Tracy Morgan.

Speaker 9 (28:19):
Everybody in the Bronx talk like this, whether you black
or white, male or female, that's crazy.

Speaker 8 (28:31):
Hey, this is the voice of your next door neighbor.
But I'm a Vietnamese girl, that's crazy.

Speaker 5 (28:36):
Like everybody sounded like that. So the weirder the voice,
the easier it is for me to do it. But yeah,
listening to music, I start becoming a fan of rock
bands and I start mimicking the bands that you.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
Know, which can you sing as well?

Speaker 5 (28:50):
I can't sing, though I can't think I can do
like speaking voices. But by the way, I'm just thinking,
you know, I love Chris's sense of humor because I
grew up in a deaf family where we like the
most offensive deaf jokes I've ever heard were from deaf people.
Like it was crazy, Like I remember.

Speaker 4 (29:06):
So they're signing jokes to you.

Speaker 5 (29:08):
Yes, a few years ago through a surprise birthday party
for my sister, And you can argue that anything to
deaf people is a surprise, all right. But anyways, so
I throw a sur threw a surprise birthday party from
my sister. Afterwards, we're all sitting down having dinner and
my sister, who is deaf, sitting across the table from me.

(29:29):
She's signing to me and she goes, she waves and says,
do you want to hear a good joke? So I go,
I go sure, and she goes.

Speaker 4 (29:40):
She's also kind of speaking along the.

Speaker 5 (29:42):
Way, and she goes, do you want to hear a
good joke? And I said, yes, and she goes me too.

Speaker 9 (29:50):
What the.

Speaker 5 (29:54):
Yeah. So that's that's where I learned how to have
a sense of humor. But it's funny because, uh, I
don't know if you know the Lars Overt story. But
I've opened doing stand up comedy. I've opened for Metallica,
I've opened for System of a Down. Last year, I
opened for Pantera and at these shows, the first one

(30:16):
was Metallica. The drummer Metallica introduced me to his band
by saying, hey, man, this is Craig. This is the
guy who does all the voices and check it out.
His whole family is retarded.

Speaker 8 (30:29):
We're not retarded.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
T're daft, dude.

Speaker 8 (30:32):
You are messing my store?

Speaker 5 (30:34):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (30:35):
So?

Speaker 5 (30:36):
Yeah, so sometimes people get it wrong.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (30:40):
By the way, it's uh.

Speaker 5 (30:41):
Chris Kale from five Finger to un Punt has just
as great of a sense of humor and uh. And
the show that we're doing, We're gonna do stand up
comedy at the Madison Theater and it's gonna be followed
by the live podcast taping and the tickets. You can
go to getgas dot Comedygame, or go to the with
two SS, or go to the Madison Theater website. But yeah,
it's it's crazy. It's it's the along the way. I've

(31:05):
gotten gigs, doing a lot of cartoon work, and I
don't even know. I haven't even I don't know if
I've seen you since I started working on Family Guy,
do you know about how I creeped out Seth MacFarlane.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
No, let me we do this because yeah, because we
have uh you know, the last time when I known Craig,
we didn't play music. So I've been telling Craig it's like, yeah,
we got you know, we got to make sure we
played the songs that nobody's heard about.

Speaker 5 (31:28):
Sarah, you have no idea, Yeah, Sarah, I'm along the
way of getting into Cincinnati.

Speaker 8 (31:33):
Chris is like, man, everything everybody's getting cut. There's crazy
stuff going crazy.

Speaker 5 (31:37):
Yesterday I listened to you on the way to a
TV appearance. I listened for three seconds.

Speaker 8 (31:41):
You go, the buttons aren't working. Did something? Did they
fire the electricity? Did they fire the electricity?

Speaker 5 (31:49):
And it's like, oh my god, poor Chris.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
Because honestly, that would happen. I just went through national
cuts last week.

Speaker 5 (31:56):
Well, when we come back, I'm gonna tell you about
my first pisode of Family Guy that I worked on,
where I actually creeped out Seth MacFarland so much that
he hasn't worked with me since.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Oh good, yeah, because Craig, we got, we got, Yeah,
we gotta play Stained coming up.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
You know that's something that nobody's ever heard before.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
And then sublime, Right, these are two songs that nobody's
ever heard before.

Speaker 8 (32:19):
Good Morning, White People.

Speaker 1 (32:22):
Sarah Alice, If you don't mind, Craig gas is gonna
join us through uh this whole thing because uh uh,
you know he's here in the studio.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
It'd be awkward if we just ignore.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
Him, But Sarah, he just sat there quietly would be
much fun, especially since he's so entertaining that Sarah.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
He's got a show with Chris kal from Five Finger
Death Bunch of Madison Theater.

Speaker 4 (32:42):
But what are you hype this up for a while?

Speaker 2 (32:44):
I know, I know it's.

Speaker 5 (32:45):
Gonna be a really good show this Friday night, Madison Theater.
Stand up comedy, Yes, there you go.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
We love comedy around here. Something not too funny. And China,
there's this woman making the headlines, goes by Zang. She's
eighty two years old. She was in the hospital after
swallowing some things that she shouldn't have.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
But they always look like they're laughing.

Speaker 3 (33:09):
It's all fun and games until you end up in
a bad situation.

Speaker 4 (33:15):
No, she swallowed eight live frogs?

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Oh well, why would she be like around eight frogs?

Speaker 2 (33:25):
First fall? And then why is she putting one near
her mouth? Period? Never mind eight?

Speaker 4 (33:29):
Imagine taking down a live frog, eight of them?

Speaker 2 (33:33):
How much Sarah for one?

Speaker 4 (33:35):
For one live frog? Swallow it? Yes, one thousand dollars,
I'll do it for a thousand Wait?

Speaker 5 (33:41):
No, whoa wait?

Speaker 4 (33:45):
Two thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
I don't know because I'll get old.

Speaker 4 (33:49):
Oh imagine like it's legs.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
I'll give a little one.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
Is there is this an ongoing thing where you like
challenge her to do stuff? Yes?

Speaker 2 (33:55):
Yes, yes it is.

Speaker 3 (33:56):
What it's crazially a minimum of one thousand dollars? Okay,
and it gets so mad.

Speaker 5 (34:00):
And what's the craziest thing you've done so far?

Speaker 4 (34:03):
Done anything? He doesn't want to pay up?

Speaker 2 (34:06):
No, that's not true, because like a couple of you're
like a million dollars.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
I'm a come on, well, because it's so disgusting, because
he's asked me to be handcuffed so our sports guys
seg while he's taking a dump.

Speaker 4 (34:18):
That would require a million dollars.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
A million dollars while.

Speaker 4 (34:23):
He's taking a dump, I don't think, so.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
I can't challenge. It's like a grand or.

Speaker 3 (34:28):
Two, not a grand or two. Come on, fifty.

Speaker 5 (34:33):
Thousands for a live frog.

Speaker 4 (34:35):
That's no for the seg thing. Oh for the poop
it's all gross. Yeah, but you'll you want to hear
the grunting smells.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
So that's fifty grand. But you'll swallow a frog for
two grand.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
That's where things are at.

Speaker 5 (34:48):
Yes, oh my god, we can raise two grand.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
I would write a check for that, but.

Speaker 4 (34:57):
Never mind the whole five thousand dollars for one life
for all.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
I forget it now because I'm thinking about like the.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
Little legs like going down my esopha gus and I
can feel them like bouncing around my stomach.

Speaker 2 (35:08):
We'll get a donation at the at the thing on
there you.

Speaker 5 (35:11):
Go show, Craig going to ask if you for that price,
would you come on stage and do it at the
Madison Theater during the comedy show in Covington on fright.

Speaker 2 (35:22):
Thank god?

Speaker 3 (35:23):
And like imagine these little ribbits now five five grand.

Speaker 4 (35:28):
Guys, we got to get back to those.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
So the reason I am kind of thinking about it,
but the reason that this lady swallowed eight live frogs,
She said she read somewhere that it was a remedy
to treat her herniated disc.

Speaker 5 (35:42):
I think it's herpes.

Speaker 4 (35:45):
Herniated disc.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
I guess you get so desperate that you'll swallow eight
live frogs. I don't know why eight, or why they
have to be alive to heal the disc.

Speaker 4 (35:54):
But it's amazing what you read on the internet. You
believe it, you do it, and then you end up
in a bad situation.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
Is true about the herpes.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
Uh So if you come down in the Madison Theater,
we'll have frogs for you to.

Speaker 4 (36:06):
Treat your herb.

Speaker 5 (36:07):
I just love those frogs are all piling up like
Jeff in her stomach, are.

Speaker 4 (36:16):
Like, what are you doing down here?

Speaker 3 (36:17):
We were just out jumping around trying to find flies,
and now we're in this lady's gut. So Zang said
that she I know just a one worded name like Madonna.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
Yeah, share Zang, eight of them.

Speaker 5 (36:32):
Eight. Zang's my favorite member of One Direction.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
So she said that she and her family went out
to catch a bunch of the live frogs said she
had three right away, then five the next Wow. But
instead of the frogs healing her disk, she had to
go to a hospital for abdominal pain.

Speaker 4 (36:48):
Yeah, no kidding, pain is so bad.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
Yeah, what a disaster.

Speaker 4 (36:54):
So doctor said she had a parasitic infection. Oh you
don't say.

Speaker 5 (37:00):
Zang morning radio everywhere, thanks you for this start right.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
No, kidd trust me.

Speaker 3 (37:04):
I find dumb people every day to talk about. It's
amazing how stupid people are.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
That's without cash, that's without cash.

Speaker 3 (37:12):
Not even doing it for two grands, but just try
to heal a disk.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
But what about doing it for five at the Madison Theater.

Speaker 4 (37:19):
At least get ready to pony up on frog.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
Stop by the pet the pet store on the way
over and get a frog.

Speaker 5 (37:26):
We got to get a big frog.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
Yeah, a bullfrog.

Speaker 1 (37:30):
Sick dangling over your mouth, live on stage at the
Madison Theater, right over your mouth.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
That is so gross to even think about.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
No dollars just are jumping the price.

Speaker 4 (37:45):
Like a frog.

Speaker 3 (37:46):
So two weeks of hospital times she was finally discharged
and the doctor said, yeah, just stay away from the frogs.

Speaker 4 (37:52):
No more frogs for you.

Speaker 5 (37:53):
This already feels like I'm trying to go on a
date with Sarah. It's like, well, you can do it
with me. I mean, if you.

Speaker 10 (38:00):
All right, ten, if we made it, if we made
it a steak dinner, Okay, you have to fly me
to Orlando, Like what you just said?

Speaker 8 (38:10):
Yes, no, I just don't.

Speaker 5 (38:12):
Want to do this.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
Sing the frog Eater and why eight of them for
the for the because the book, the good book said
eight of a mos right, help your back, that's what
it is.

Speaker 4 (38:29):
Yeah, so don't believe everything you read on the internuts.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
You know what.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
The first time I actually one of the first times,
I actually hung out with Craig Gas who is at
the Madison Theater with Chris Kale, who you know probably
from a five Finger Death Punch. They're doing a comedy
show at the Madison Theater this Friday, and uh from
a good source who who is in Baltimore now went
to the show and said it was awesome.

Speaker 5 (38:52):
So now that it's here, well it's a big rock
and roll like you know, I'm putting out two comedy specials, yes,
in the next few months. The first one, believe it
or not, is me just making fun of kiss for
an hour that's the whole show. So, and that's a
big part of what you're going to hear at the
Madison Theater on Friday is a lot of material about

(39:14):
Kiss and I have a weird relationship with the band,
which started on The Howard Stern Show. Do an impression
of Gene Simmons bothered him so much he got on
a plane, flew to New York and he confronted me
live on the air. And the next day I got
a phone call from their management company, McGee Entertainment and
they said, Hey, we wanted to reach out to you
and tell you that we represent Kiss, and we wanted

(39:35):
to let you know that our singer, Paul Stanley is
your biggest fan. And I said, get out of here, really,
and they said, yeah, don't tell anybody this, but Paul
Stanley loves when anybody makes fun of Geene. I said,
get out of here. And so Paul called me later
that day to offer me a gig performing with Kiss,
And when I asked him like it was an event

(39:55):
called the Kiss Cruise, and I said, so, you want
me to introduce the band or you want me to
do stand up and he said, well, let me ask
you a question. How many jokes do you have about
Gene And I said literally hours, and he said, you
got the gig.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
That's it.

Speaker 5 (40:15):
So he just wanted me to make fun of Jean
and it started this weird relationship where Paul and Jean
would pit me against each other and want me to
make fun of the other guy more. And it was Yeah,
it was crazy, but I promised that I was going
to tell you this story about Family Guy.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 (40:32):
And my first my first recording session for Family Guy
was with Seth McFarlane And every TV show I've been on,
I've been really lucky. It's been a huge show. Sex
and the City was a huge character King of Queens,
but Family Guy was the first show I ever worked
on that I was a fan of. And it's just

(40:53):
me and Seth MacFarland in a studio and the whole
recording session lasted like five minutes. Like Seth McFarlane kept
doing one line as Peter Griffin. We kept saying, this
is crazier than when al Pacino was a slum loog
launderman tenant. And then they cut to me as al
Pacino surrounded by a bunch of broken down washers and
dryers going.

Speaker 11 (41:13):
You're out of order, and you're out of order, and
you're all.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Out of order.

Speaker 5 (41:23):
And then we did that three times and Seth he's
running the board and he goes, all right, man, I
think we're good.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (41:29):
I'm so nervous because I thought, because we're working together
that we're going to be friends now. So I stand
up and I go, all right, so you want to
hang out? And he goes, hey, what do you mean
hang on?

Speaker 2 (41:43):
And I go, oh, I don't know.

Speaker 5 (41:45):
You want to grab a coffee or so? And he goes,
I gotta work. You want me to leave?

Speaker 8 (41:51):
And he goes I was like, oh wow, grab my script.

Speaker 5 (41:54):
I walked out. I didn't hear from him again for
like six months. The casting director never called me again,
and then she finally started calling me and saying, hey, Craig,
can you do this voice or this voice or this voice?
And everything she would ask me, I would go, I
can do whatever you need. I can do whatever you need.
And every time I've gone back in to record Family
Guy or American Dad or the Cleveland Show when it
was on, it's Seth McFarland's never around. It's always a

(42:16):
guy named Mike Henry who does the voice of Cleveland
and the creepy old Guy. And every time I see Mike,
I'll go, hey, Mike is uh Seth. Every time I
see him, go don't worry about Seth. We're gonna get
you out of here real quick.

Speaker 3 (42:28):
Oh wow, that seems like it's a Seth problem and
not on you.

Speaker 8 (42:32):
I am creepy.

Speaker 5 (42:34):
I am definitely a lot.

Speaker 3 (42:36):
I've met a lot of creepy guys in my life,
and I don't think you're one of them.

Speaker 5 (42:40):
Well, here's the problem. Now, I'm defending. I'm defending that.
I I think I when I get excited, I come
off really strong. In fact, I'm nice.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
I think you're being night. You're like, let's get a coffee, man,
how's it? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (42:57):
Yeah, Like, And I'm empathetic to people who are creepy
to me, because I go, you know what I did
that to you know Ittallica, I know I did that
to bands, and so I try to remember, like, all right,
you know what I do get nervous around people. But
but yeah, that first episode was just it just went
the hell very quickly.

Speaker 4 (43:18):
I loves our respect for Steth MacFarlane.

Speaker 5 (43:21):
Well, I want to give credit to Chris where Chris,
where it's due, because there's so many things that I
have done that are so evil that I go to
all camerom Okay, every year I go to the super Bowl,
and every year at the super Bowl they have a
big media center where there's like hundreds of sports stations
broadcasting from around the world, and they will contact me

(43:41):
at the beginning of the week. There's nobody at the
super Bowl on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, it's dead and they're
looking for content. So my radio buddies will say, hey,
can you come on the air and pretend to be
somebody famous so that it sounds cool back in Dayton,
where our station is from. And the only remotely sports

(44:01):
guy I can do an impression of is Tom Arnold,
who used to host the best damn sports show period,
and I will go full blown Tom Arnold during these
broadcasts from the super Bowl and co Hey, guys, it's
pretty amazing. We're alive from the super Bowl and a
lot of celebrities are coming into town. And I was

(44:22):
actually at a Cocaine Dotabus meeting last night with Brett Farv.
I probably shouldn't say that out loud, but Brett fire
is a big coke head and his sponsor is Marv
Albert Mars. Marve's addicted to upskirt porn.

Speaker 8 (44:39):
Again, I shouldn't say that out loud, but and.

Speaker 5 (44:42):
Every year the internet will attack the real Tom Marnold.
I go for me.

Speaker 8 (44:48):
It's supposed to be.

Speaker 5 (44:49):
Anonymous, your idiot, and and Tom Arnold will fight every
single person on the internet. Hey, did you notice that
Sam Can'tasi was also on the air, and that guy
has been dead for thirty years an idiot That wasn't me.
That was a comedian named Craig. Guess I wish he
would stop.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
Hey, at least he's like you know that, like Sue
and you were going, you know what I mean, dude.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
Tom and Seth MacFarlane got it.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Tom's a comedian.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
Yeah, but respects you and I probably want staying out
with you.

Speaker 5 (45:23):
Well. The first time I ever spoke to Tom was
a prank phone call. I was starting out in stand
up in Seattle and a friend of mine, who was
an open micer, worked at a hotel and he said, Dude,
all the celebrities from the grand opening a Planet Hollywood
are at my hotel. Arnold Schwartzenegger Sylvester stallone Tom Marnold,
and I go, Tom Marnold's at your hotel and Tom

(45:46):
Marld had just killed it in nine months and true lies.
I went home that night. I called the hotel and
I said, hi, Tom Arnold, please, and this lady goes, okay,
just one moment she put me through. I was working
in radio, but I didn't record this. I just at
this for myself. Tom Ronold pick the phone and he
goes hello, and I go, Tom, it's Sam Kennison. And

(46:09):
he goes and by the way, Sam Kennison had been
dead for seven years at this point. And Tom Marland goes, hey, buddy,
how you being here? And I go, I go, Tom,
I need your help. I need your help in the afterlife.
And he goes, whatever you need, buddy, just tell me
what you need. I'm gonna help you out.

Speaker 8 (46:26):
I go, well, what I need is I need cocaine.
I need cocaine. And this is what I need you
to do.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
Tom.

Speaker 5 (46:31):
First of all, I want you to purchase some cocaine.
I want you to front me the cash because I
don't have any money. And then I want you to
purchase some cocaine. I want you to go back to
Los Angeles. And this is where it gets tricky. I
want you to drive to Jerry Lewis's house and.

Speaker 8 (46:45):
I want you to take the cocaine.

Speaker 5 (46:46):
I want you to knock on his door, and when
he opens the door, you take the cocaine and put
it in the small pocket of his pants and.

Speaker 8 (46:52):
I'll have it when he gets here. In three way.

Speaker 5 (46:57):
Oh and then and then I stopped and I said, Tom,
I'm sorry. My name's Craig Gas. I'm a stand up comedian.
I'm a huge fan of yours. And he goes, man
that that impression is so good, I need a call
by sponsor.

Speaker 8 (47:14):
That's how good.

Speaker 5 (47:16):
And we became friendly after that. And then I just
took the impression of him and just caused chaos.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
Okay, So, so he's aware of you.

Speaker 8 (47:24):
And.

Speaker 5 (47:26):
When you come out to the Madison Theater, the whole Okay.
So Chris Kale five Finger Death Punch, he's got material
about being a rock star in Five Finger Death Punch.
My part of the show is a lot of impressions
and stories about the people who I do impressions of.
And and we have the podcast that we're gonna tape
right afterwards. Beardo and Weirdo at the Madison Theater.

Speaker 4 (47:47):
Very fun. So if you love rock and comedy, this
is going to be for you.

Speaker 1 (47:51):
One of the first times I hung out with you
was right after nine to eleven. We were in New
York and I was very stunned by what happened. And
we were down and uh in Manhattan, and you go, uh, oh,
you want to you want to go down there and
see it?

Speaker 4 (48:06):
And I was like, uh no, yeah, absolutely not.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Yeah, And it had just happened, and you had gone
down there and like met with some of the some
of the dudes down there whatever, because like a lot
of you guys were going down to like to kind
of make the the guy's laugh.

Speaker 2 (48:22):
Or you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (48:23):
Yeah, Doug, Doug Goudstein was making food, helping out, like yeah, wow,
a lot of mutual friends were helping out down and
at ground zero.

Speaker 2 (48:33):
Yeah. And I didn't I didn't have the balls to
go down there. I didn't want to see it. I
was stunned. But that was like one of the first
times we uh we hung.

Speaker 1 (48:39):
Out in the city and uh and and I'll never
forget that because I was living in Sacramento at the time,
where you were coming out a lot and uh, and
I finally made it.

Speaker 2 (48:48):
Into the city.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
So that was like, yeah, a pillar. That's where my
timeline is around the you know what I mean. That's
when we first started hanging out.

Speaker 5 (48:56):
It's funny because I just think about the pranks that
we pulled. That's my timeline.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Remember that complete horror.

Speaker 4 (49:06):
There's gotta be something more lighthearted than nine to eleven.

Speaker 8 (49:09):
Well, it's funny because he taught me.

Speaker 5 (49:11):
We're gonna say, Chris.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
Oh, there was another time in Sacramento where you and
I hung out was we went to we did a
live show from the Bunny Ray.

Speaker 4 (49:21):
I remember a guy.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
That was when you and I were both single.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
We're like, hey, we gotta do a talk show from
the Bunny Ranch. They're having a big party up there.
You want to go, Yes.

Speaker 5 (49:35):
I just remember taking some of the lessons I learned
from you and causing that chaos with Like when I
started doing the Gene Simmons impression for real as Gens
just pretending to be Gene Simmons. I just thought, oh man,
this is kind of like what I do with kid Chris,
and this is gonna be fun. But I had no
idea the reach that was happening, that the real Gene

(49:56):
Simmons was getting hate mail because of the stuff I
was saying. And then all these people started reaching out
to me who worked with Kiss and saying, hey, man,
I got a story for you. I used to work
with Kiss, maybe he could use this. And the stories
were horrifying, Like there were people that were so close
to Kiss that they were like, oh, I got a start.
There was a guy who called me from a recording

(50:17):
studio and said, hey, I'm a huge fan of your impressions,
especially your Gene Simmons, because Gene was the first guy
to ever screw me over in this business. Wow, I
thought you would appreciate this. Gene came in to produce
an album for a new artist at my recording studio
and then at the last minute he wanted to switch

(50:38):
and move into my largest facility for the same amount
of money. And when he showed up, he said, did
you get my message? I want to use Studio A,
And I said I did. I actually called you back.
I don't know if you got my message, but somebody's
using Studio A. I asked him if they would switch,
and they said no, and he.

Speaker 12 (50:56):
Goes do they know that Gene Simmons from kisses him.

Speaker 5 (51:03):
And he goes, you know what, if you want to
ask him, you can, but I'm not going to ask
him again. And he goes, all right, we're Studio A,
and he goes, it's last. Go all the way down
the hall, this last door on the right. He goes,
walking down the hall, opens up the door to Studio A,
looks inside and sees the Wu Tang clan, and then
closes the door, comes back up to the front and
goes right where Studio be. Even never even opened his

(51:24):
mouth to the Wu Tang clan. But the one story
that really really blew my mind was the guy who said,
you know, I've been working with Kiss on and off
for twenty years before Jeene Simmons got married. Jeane while
we were on the road, hooked up with Miss America
while we're on the road nice and it was the
raining Miss America of that year, and he hooked up

(51:44):
with her. The next night, Jean hooked up with a whore,
a girl that was such a mess that even the
guys in the road crew were like, oh my god,
did you see that? And then the next night we
have a day off in a town that's so small
that the band and the road crew are both staying
in the same hotel. And he said, I'm in the
lobby of the hotel. There's a bar in the lobby,
and I just happened to turn around as Gene Simmons

(52:06):
is walking through the lobby and he's dragging this enormous
girl through the lobby, gets in the elevator, pushes the
button to his floor, which is when he makes eye
contact with me, and he folds his arms and goes,
oh yeah.

Speaker 8 (52:24):
And he said.

Speaker 5 (52:25):
The next day in sound check, he walks up to
him and he goes, Gene, did you do you look
up with that girl last night?

Speaker 12 (52:31):
And Gene goes, of course.

Speaker 3 (52:35):
And the guy you're saying is that he doesn't exactly
have a type.

Speaker 5 (52:39):
Well that's where this guy asked, Gene, didn't you hook
up with Miss America the other night?

Speaker 12 (52:45):
And Ginge goes, Steve, Steve, listen to me. I'm gonna
give you some valuable advice. Okay, you can't have Filet
mignon every night. Sometimes you gotta go to McDonald's.

Speaker 5 (52:59):
That's the word advice I've never heard in my life. Yeah,
that is And by the way, I got to reiterate this.
When you come out to the Madison Theater for the
show that I'm doing with Chris Kale, I must almost
said kid Chris by the show I'm doing with Chris
Kale from Five Finger Death Punch Madison Theater on Friday night,
I am going to be doing a lot of material
from the album that I'm releasing, the comedy special where

(53:21):
I'm just making fun of Kiss for an hour. So
if you like jokes about Kiss, Madison Theater dot com,
Getgas dot com, Get gas with two lessons.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
So we tickets too. When you walk up as well too.

Speaker 5 (53:34):
If there's tickets available on Friday, they'll have tickets in
the door. But I mean it's best to make sure
you're getting in the building.

Speaker 8 (53:39):
Ryeah, right, right right.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
And so we'll get more stories just like that.

Speaker 5 (53:41):
Yes, yes, a lot more stories about Yeah. But my
favorite is so like everyone in the industry is always
coming to me a lot like I made a music
video with Sebastian Bach, this guy from skid Row and
that guy goes dude. I went to that guy's house,
I went to Gene Simmons house, and that guy has

(54:04):
a freaking kiss museum in his house, which is true.
He has an entire section of his house that's dedicated
to every piece of Kiss merchandise.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
Of course show yes, yeah, everything Kiss.

Speaker 5 (54:18):
And Subastian Bax said, dude, when I walked in, there's
a bag with like one hundred Kiss cell phone covers
and I said, dude, what the hell is that?

Speaker 12 (54:30):
And Gene goes, that's our new promotion for Kiss. Miss
that's our new Kiss cell phone covers.

Speaker 8 (54:36):
Can I have one of those?

Speaker 12 (54:38):
I wish I could, but if you go to kiss online.

Speaker 5 (54:41):
And he wouldn't give him a piece of plastic, it's
one piece of plastic. And by the way, I gotta
buy it. The comedy special that I filmed where I'm
just making fun of Kiss Sumasian Bach makes up a
third of the show because he's in the audience going dude,
I know.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
No, that's true.

Speaker 5 (55:05):
Was totally into it.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
Craig Gas will be with Chris Kale from a Five
Finger Death Bunch, who's doing comedy.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
They do a podcast together.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
They're gonna be doing some stand up out there at
the Madison Theater on Friday.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
And doing their podcast as well.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
And uh, you know the one that one show we
did in Sacramento, the comedy show I.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
It was packed. It was a great time. I went
up on stage with.

Speaker 1 (55:29):
You and uh, I never did yager before, and you
sped me yeager and I don't remember the whole night.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
I went home.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
Uh, the guy Marshall, our promotions dude, drove me home
and I puked all over my bed.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
Yes, I don't.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
I can't smell that stuff anymore. I don't I have
a drunk in three years.

Speaker 4 (55:52):
This is true.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
Yeah, but that stuff. That was the last time I
drank yeager because of you, Craig Gas, I.

Speaker 3 (55:59):
Think the last and you had alcohol. I was out
with you. We were taking shots together at bar in Loveland.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
Yeah, but that was the last time I got I
got lit up. Yes, I was feeling good that night. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (56:11):
But now those days, it's.

Speaker 5 (56:13):
Crazy seeing your face and hearing these stories, because it's
like my memories are just spinning and again him so differently.
It's all about yeah and how, yeah, and just how
I learned from you. Like I remember being nervous about
the ideas that you would pitch me and I'd go, oh,

(56:33):
I don't know, and then and it just the results
were so huge and you just realized this is fun.
Like you know, I can't think of any other There
was one other guy who worked at K Rock who
went on to Saint Louis, and then he was the
only other guy to trick me and not but again,
I mean to do something I was uncomfortable. And it

(56:54):
actually the results of that actually started the relationship with Metallica,
because uh, he was doing afternoons in Saint Lewis at
the rock station in Saint Louis, and he said, when
you get in town, you just hang out with me,
just hang out for the whole show. And I was like,
all right, cool. And when I got into town, I
get my rental car and I drove straight to the
station and I put on the show and he had
Lars Ulrich on the phone from his house in San Francisco,

(57:16):
and I thought, oh my god, Wow, this is great,
and my buddy knew it was a big deal. So
he's playing no songs, he's playing no commercials, and he's
got no delay. Oh and every fourth or fifth word
is a doozy yeah. And then but when I get
to the building twenty minutes later, he's still on the
phone and the receptionist brings me in the studio. He's
still on the phone, and I walked in and I'm
looking at him and I go, dude, you put me on.

(57:39):
He looked at me and he goes, I can't get
rid of him. Oh, and I go and he goes, here,
just grab that microphone. And he goes, and he had
this idea. He goes, just grab this microphone. Hey, Lars, let.

Speaker 8 (57:49):
Me just I know that that is cool.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
That is very cool.

Speaker 8 (57:53):
Yeah, okay, let me just cut you off for one second.

Speaker 5 (57:55):
For those of you just joining the broadcast, we have
Lars Ulrich on the phone from his house in San Francisco,
and Lar, You're not gonna believe this, but we have
a couple of people that want to say hi to you.
And I'm going like, no, no, and he goes, Paul
Stanley and Gene Simmons from Kiss are in the studio
right now, and Lars goes, is that really Paul Stanley
Gene Simmons. It is guys, say hi, Hey, Lars, this
is Pulm and this is Gene Simmons from Kiss. And

(58:21):
I'm gonna get right to the point. A lot of
people steal from Kiss, Lars. You know it I know it,
but on the new Metallica record, you've gone a little
too far. I'll give you a perfect example. I want
you to name one song on the new Metallica record
that you think is completely original, and Lars goes, I
think all the songs are pretty origional, right, but if
you had to pick one song, what would it be?

(58:44):
I guess if I had to pick one song, it'd
probably be And he gave me a song title and
I said, that's a great song, Lars, but I liked
it the first time I heard it when it was
called Beth.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
He goes, how do you hear path.

Speaker 8 (58:57):
From the middlementary?

Speaker 5 (58:58):
That doesn't make any sense?

Speaker 8 (59:00):
What do you?

Speaker 5 (59:00):
And he started he's arguing with you, arguing with a
fake Jean Simmons and a fake Paul Stanley. When when
my buddy, the radio guy who is as crazy as
kid Chris goes. He goes, Hey, guys, guys, Lars, I
just need to cut you guys off on one second.

Speaker 8 (59:14):
Lars.

Speaker 5 (59:14):
We have a talk radio station next door to this studio,
and they have a movie reviewer that comes in every
Friday to talk about new movie releases that are coming out,
and he has real movie stars that come in to
promote these new movies. And he actually has Christopher Walking
in the studio. Do you mind if Christopher walkin?

Speaker 8 (59:29):
Says Hy.

Speaker 5 (59:29):
He goes, he said, really, Christopher Walking, it is guys,
it's Christopher Walking. I love Metallica because I love cocaine.
I love cocaine. And he starts talking to a fake
Christopher Walking, while fake Paul Stanley, fake Jean Simmons are
arguing with him, and then at some point I started
arguing with him as a fake fill Ensemo from Pantera

(59:53):
R check it out. And then finally my buddy goes, hey, Lars,
You're not gonna believe this. Sam Kinnison just walked in
the studio, and I go, hey, Lars, I don't know
if you remember this, but my name is Sam Cansson
and we used to do cocaine in.

Speaker 8 (01:00:06):
The A.

Speaker 5 (01:00:09):
And Lars Alrich goes, didn't that guy die like twenty
years ago? Yeah, yeah, it's really weird. Sorry, And then
finally my buddy goes, hey, Lars, this is actually a
comedian friend of ours. His name is Craig Gass. He
works on the Howard Stern Show. And Lars goes, are
you gonna beat Saint Louis when we get there, and

(01:00:30):
I said, no, I live in New York, so I
will not be here. And he said, well, next time
you come to a Metallica show, I'd love to hang
out with you. And I was like, I.

Speaker 8 (01:00:38):
Would love to hang I love you, Lars, I'd love
to hang out with you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
And that's how it started. That's yeah, and then he
insulted your family.

Speaker 5 (01:00:45):
I thought it was yeah, I thought it was over.
But when I got back to New York, our producer
Gary walked up to me.

Speaker 11 (01:00:51):
He said, Hi, I got a funny story. So one
of the guy's in Metallic I was trying to get
a hold of your man. You gotta call his phone number.
And that led to me doing a radio event with
Lars and then opening from Metallica. And then when I
opened from Ittallica, Lars walked into a room full of
other Metallica members and saying, Hey, his whole family is retarded.

Speaker 5 (01:01:09):
They're not retarded. My family is death. They're not retarded yet.
So yeah, wonderful, absolutely wonderful. But yeah, Madison, this Friday nights,
go see Craig. It's me and Chris Kal from five
Finger Death Punch at the Madison Theater this Friday night
in Covington.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
So, uh is it.

Speaker 5 (01:01:30):
Madison Theater dot com? I know you can go to
getgas dot com get gasses with two s's, get gas
with two s's dot com. But but yeah, it's it's
I'm excited. I'm very excited, Craig.

Speaker 8 (01:01:41):
It was awesome seeing you man, great seeing you today.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
I appreciate you coming in and uh, this will be
a great show. I could guarantee you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
I've known Craig forever and uh, I've seen him a
zillion times. And sometimes when he tells a story about
his family and stuff, sometimes the audience will be like, oh,
oh my god, I get uncomfy and I will lose Yeah,
and I'll lose it in the club.

Speaker 4 (01:02:03):
There's not a lot you could say that I can't comfortable.

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
It is so good. But Craig, I appreciate it. Madison
Theater on Friday. And you said Chris will be coming
by later.

Speaker 5 (01:02:11):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
Chris.

Speaker 5 (01:02:12):
Let's coming and hang out with you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:02:13):
That'd be good, good good.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
If you want some tickets, I have four packs right now.
So five win three seven, four nine one O two seven.
The first four people to call right now, I will
hook them up. All right, It's a kid Chris show, EBN,