09 15 25 Family Therapist Michael Pipich talks about dealing with recent shootings

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Joining us now on the ka Common Spirit Health hotline
as marriage and family therapist Michael Pippich. Michael, we appreciate
your time as always.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Good morning, thanks for having me so.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Last Wednesday, I was there at Evergreen as the school
shooting took place, and you really saw just a wide
range of emotions of obviously students scared, students crying, students
just not knowing how to handle their emotions, and others
talking about the shooting feeling like it wasn't even something
that crossed their mind. It was almost like a blank
stare of not realizing what was taking place. Now a

(00:32):
couple days out, how do you usually start that conversation
if parents are going home with one of those students
that was either scared or afraid or maybe just you know,
blank behind the eyes of what took place, where do
they go from here?

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Well, the initial responses are going to be across the board,
if you will, And sometimes there is just this shock
and what we would describe as denial at least at
an emotional level, and then others react very quickly and
maybe they put aside some of their emotions. I think
it's important for parents and in fact any adult that

(01:06):
is involved with those children right now to maybe give
them a little bit of space. I think that's important
to not for them not to feel crowded per se,
but also encourage them at some point to open up
talk a little bit more, and encourage them to understand
that we're here as parents and professionals, teachers and others,

(01:32):
to not judge them for their emotions or their responses,
or their anger or maybe what appears to be their
lack of emotion, but really listen to them both in
terms of what they say and communicate verbally, but also
how they're acting, and watch for any changes like changes
in sleep or appetite, or just behaviors that are not

(01:55):
characteristic of those individuals. So those are typically I think,
good places to start when you're addressing such a.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
Trauma, when you're counseling families, Michael, with a situation like
this is trauma like this, Is it harder on the
parents or is it harder on the kids?

Speaker 2 (02:12):
It's harder on everybody, and maybe for different reasons. I
certainly think parents have every reason to worry about what
their child may be really feeling or really expressing maybe
to their friends, or just internalizing and not talking to
anybody about So sometimes parents feel they may take that

(02:34):
as an offense that their child may not be trusting
them in a way that they would hope that they
would in those moments. So again, I think it's important
to sort of verbalize how we all deal with trauma differently,
and we all deal with our emotions a little bit differently,
but begin to kind of create that understanding for each
other and allow children to really feel like there's not

(03:00):
to be any major consequence if they open up and
tell us something that they think we don't want to hear.
Of course, if it's a very urgent situation, you know,
we have to take action, but at the same time,
let them know that they're going to be okay because
they trusted us.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Evergreen High School is closed for this week, giving students
and community members a little bit more time. But what
advice do you have to students if they still don't
feel comfortable when they do end up opening the school
and going back to class.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Well, I think we have to take every individual for
what they're experiencing, okay, And if they're really really scared
and frightened and they need more time, then they need
more time. But I would also believe that in that
school and in that community, they have open arms right now,

(03:51):
and so some of those children probably could benefit by
being with their friends, being in their community. I can't
imagine that the teachers are going to tell them immediately
to open up their books for whatever the case may be.
There's probably going to be continued debriefing as they reintegrate
into their studies and to their usual activities.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Do you navigate and deal with people that may be addicted,
or have or have an inornent amount of time on
social media that may get radicalized in these spaces? Do
you talk and deal with that at any level? And
if you do, what, what does that experience you like?
Navigating that?

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Yeah, that's that's very difficult, Marty, because I think as
a community of adults, we have to do a better
job identifying these young men typically who for whatever reason
feel estranged from their communities, and you get them support
and alternatives from those radicalizing you know, ideological bubbles that

(04:51):
they can get into. I think, you know, we can all,
you know, consume some fantasy, whether it's video games, movies
and that sort of thing. But this is a much
deeper problem and it is really hard once they're in
that bubble, to help them to feel that there is
an alternative way out. It's so nihilistic at times that

(05:15):
these young men feel like there's no way out, there's
nothing for them. It takes time and reparation for them
to feel like they can be part of a family,
part of the community again.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Marriage and Family therapist. It's Michael Pippich. Michael, we appreciate
your time as always, have a good week. Thank you again,
Evergreen Community. Evergreen students can go to Jeffcopublic Schools dot
org for more information. If they need assistance, you can
also always call or text Colorado's crisis hotline at nine
eight Eates