Killing Off Fictional Family Members to Get Out of Work

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Ninety four point non the boll Rememberjust after eight o'clock listening for Jelly Roll
for your shot at Tim McGrath ticketsin in for that grand prize of the
iHeart Country Music Festival in Austin,Texas. Every day this week at seven
thirty, we got Georgia Food andWine Festival tickets. Oh who's playing Megan
and Wind? You're good morning toyou. Thanks for joining the movie here
and Otis show. How are youexcited? I think I think that's great.

(00:21):
You're gonna play Finish in Florida Manheadline with us for your shot at
those Food and Wine Festival tickets.Okay, awesome, Thank you so much.
We give you a headline that's areal headline from Florida, and you
just decide how it ends based onthe multiple choice. Okay, perfect,
sounds great, all right. FloridaMan wedding guest was arrested after he caused
a scene at the wedding reception bya slapping the bride and the several other

(00:45):
guests be tipping the cake table orsee leaving respectfully. Okay, definitely not
that one. Let's go be flippingthe cake table. That would have been
actually kinder. No, he slappedthe bride, said some words and slapped
three other guests on the way out. That's awful, terrible, terrible.
Yeah, made for an awkward weddingvideo. Yeah, I'm sure, all

(01:10):
right. Florida man dentist pulls outa patient's bad tooth with a plyers b
a kite on a string or seeninety six trans am Oh no the trans
am. Yes, video is great. Wets on Instagram. But yeah,
he gunned it. Why because it'sAwflorida. When we if I start asking

(01:34):
why for Florida man headlines, We'regonna be here all day long because Florida.
All right, La Florida man hospitalizedafter jumping from a rooftop. He
was attempting to play quidditch, theHarry Potter game and he was flying on
a hockey stick. Be a vacuumor see a skateboard. Yeah, the

(01:56):
nailed it, got it. Yougot nice work. And they need to
put a disclaimer in that Harry Pottermovie. Right, come on, you
can't mean how awesome would that be? Everybody wants to congratulations. You got
tickets. You're going to Georgia Foodand Wine Festival. It's March twenty first
is when it kicks off. Soyou're in. Oh great, thank you

(02:17):
so much. You're very welcome.Cody Johnson's the Painter in a few minutes
plus. Can't fix soup ad Aseven fifty five. When your ex goes
crazy, breaks into your house anddumps pickled pork all over your couch,
you probably did something wrong. No, I just will let you all know
that I switched the ihar radio atninety four point nine The Ball, and
now I can listen to y'all anytimeI want to. Yeah, you can't

(02:39):
fix stupid. Proven it with moodKimmy and Otis on ninety four point nine
The Bull. Stupidity surrounds us.Don't try to fix it'll just stress you
out. Instead, send us thestory then we can all laugh at them.
We can't fix stupid. Kiva Reddickwas so upset with her boyfriend she
found the spare key broke into hisapartment to fight him, throwing stuff all

(03:00):
over his apartment and then pouring pickledpork all over his couch. Yeah,
sheriff's office came in and watched avideo. Because the guy had video inside
of his house, they got cameraslike everybody does. Of this woman just
destroying, throwing items around his kitchen, screaming at him, swinging at him.

(03:21):
And then the pickled pork. Idon't know why she chose that out
of the refrigerator, but it's smooth, bud. That's why that couch is
gonna have to go in the dumpster. Because she was arrested on multiple charges,
including breaking and entering. And shealso dumped a two liter of sprite
to go along with the pickled pork, so like a full dinner, I
mean that could help. You know, you can clean stup with coke and

(03:44):
you'll never get to smell like evenif it'll just be faint every once in
a while. You just smelled alittle bit of pickled pork. And remember,
you're crazy, Mike. I don'tknow who's stupid or here, her
for going crazy and dumping pickled porkon his couch or him for not re
hiding the key that he didn't thinkabout. She knew where that key was.
Maybe he didn't even know he hadone out there. I've done that

(04:05):
before. He in a car.I had a high a key on a
car and I didn't know I did. And then I went down to put
another hide a key in the car, and I was like, hey,
there's my other one. He knew. I'm sure there they lived together,
like she knew. She He's probablyalways told her like, just grabbed the
key of the mat that fake rockover there, right there, that plastic
rock that looks totally out of place, and that backfired on him. I
suppose the story doesn't say what hedid, not that what she did is

(04:27):
okay, But I'm just always curious, of course, Kimmy, what happened,
What happened for her to react inthat way. Whatever he did,
he doesn't deserve pickled pork on hiscouch. Guys, was cheating, I
mean cheating. Cheating, Yeah,ruining your couch screams cheating. Feeling it
happened there. I can't fake stupidninety four point Now on the bull,
Thanks for hanging out on this Tuesdaymorning. It's moot. Kimmy and Otis

(04:49):
and Brian. We got the eightten headlines right now with Kimmy Karuba.
Well. Eric Church is giving awaypieces of his music City Club. Literally,
members of his church choir fan clubare receiving deeds to the bricks that
make up the building including the locationand a digital version version of the brick.
Chief told the choir, You've helpedme build my career, brick by
brick. I want the whole worldto know that the building is yours.

(05:12):
This is not just another club downtown. I think it's so cool. But
what does the brick get you?Like? Do you have like a little
bit of like do you is itworth? Is it like Green Bay Packers
ownership? Or it doesn't mean anythingbut just a certificate. I think it's
more of a certificate and a thankyou to all of his fans, Like
you can't go get your brick right, no, because you know what are

(05:33):
you doing? Sir? This ismy brick mine I have. I have
a deed to the brick, okay, and I want it. Brian Kelly,
formerly a Florida Georgia line, hasannounced that his new full length album,
Tennessee Truth, is finished and readyfor pre order with the release date
of May tenth, but his songKissed My Boots is out right now.
Okay. If we all thought thatthe Stanley Tumbler craze was really bad,
wait until you hear about these TraderJoe's tote bags. These aren't even like

(05:57):
something that you could necessarily put allof your groceries. We're talking many tote
bags that go for two dollars andninety nine cents are going for now five
hundred dollars on eBay, just becauseI don't know. I just kind of
like the same thing with the standsdiscontinued or something. No, they they're
going to be getting them again,Trader Joe says, probably in September,
depending on the location. But therewere like a limited amount of them,

(06:21):
but they come in blue, red, green, yellow, and just I
guess people think they are so cute. I wait to spend this. I
want to meet the human being thathas enough finances to pay for a picture
of a Stanley cup or a dumbtote bag for five hundred dollars. Worst
part about that tote bag situation ishow many times you go to the grocery
store go oh, man, Iforgotten, and like I own like ninety

(06:44):
publics, yep facts. I'm tryingto go green. I'm trying to help
out mother nature. I just can'tremember to do it. So I just
end up getting more and more ofthese things. And at least I didn't
pay five hundred bucks for it.I'd be so mad. Yeah, I'm
a travel ball parent. I can'tafford that. All right, the sadlines
with Kimmi Krub every day and eightten percent of by cool Ray and Carrier
turn to the expert. Thanks forbeing here with us. On Tuesday morning,

(07:04):
it's moot Kimmy and otis on George'snumber one from your Country, ninety
four point nine in the Bull,I'm Brian mootee are excited for Saturdays.
That's right, our point five kfor set Patrick's day at the Halcyon and
Alpharetta. It's a point five day, like miles three tenths of a mile,
not even three tenths of the shortestrace in history. John the race

(07:27):
everyone can do. You can makeit even after about nineteen beers. I
can probably like army crawl through that. Yeah, if you wanted to encourage
you. The best part is there'sbars literally like one hundred percent of the
way, so you can stop fortythree seconds. Cherry Street Brewing you can
stop at. You can stop atthe other I mean there is literally a
restaurant every eighteen feet at Hobnob.It might be it might take me like

(07:51):
three hours. They complete that race. That's totally fine, dude. There's
no time limit on the point fivekJ on it. What time is the
third one to three at the houseOn on Saturday. Oh, we're gonna
have a bunch of prizes. We'llhave shirts at say, point five K
stickers you can put on your carthat prove that you ran a race,
like those obnoxious twenty six point twostickers, but we have a point five
K one. Let's just say this, it's gonna take you longer to walk

(08:15):
from your car than to do thepoint five k's really so prob. Yeah,
it's gonna be so much fun.And Houseion's got a bunch of events
going on around it too, abunch of drink specials, bunch of stuff.
We'll have prizes to give away.Rown In, my little one year
old will compete in his first raceever. My dogs are coming on Kimmy's
Puppies comment Yep, coming Saint Patty'sDay with us this Saturday at the house

(08:35):
On. We'll see you there.Point five K with Moot Kimmy and Otis
and ninety four point nine to theBull, ninety four point nine in the
Bull Moot Kemmy notice with you onyour Tuesday. Thanks for hanging out with
us. I'm Brian Moot Today thecomments section is a bit of a football
celebration. Thirty five year old fourtime Pro bowl er Kirk Cousins has agreed
to a four year, one hundredand eighty million dollar contract with the Falcons

(08:56):
to lead us into our next phaseof Falcons football. Matt In, our
former quarterback, said this is goingto put us at the top of the
NFC East because of the weapons thathe's gonna have for the Falcons. Drake
London, Yeah, we got it. We got a great young team and
adding some adding a veteran leader there, a quarterback could be great. So
you guys are saying there is alight at the end of the tunnel,

(09:16):
could be okay, and that's that'sa lot for the Falcons could be I
know that's I think that's the nicestthing you guys have said about them.
They definitely don't have to worry aboutCarolina. I can tell you that Tampa.
Maybe a good Falcons fan always hasa little heartbreak in there, just
a little bit kicking around. Thisone's from Jeff and Stockbridge. This this
TWEETU Kirk Cousins of the falcon isthe falcons is perfect. Y'all know how

(09:39):
much we love cousins in the South. Lol. He will hit him perfectly.
I can't wait and roll yelling goCousins. We love cousins. He
doesn't play for West Virginia. Imean that shirt is pretty funny though,
right. We love cousins. Cousins. If someone doesn't make that the falcon
on it, at the end ofthe day, we love cousins. I
don't know what you're missing out onan opportunity, Kayla and Griffin. His

(10:01):
name may be Kirk Cousins in Minnesota, but now he's in the A,
which means we need to swag upa name change for him. It ain't
Cousins, no, mo, It'scuz because he's really funny too. He
embraces being kind of like the likea dor key quarterback, so he'll like
after games he will have a grillin and like chains around his neck,
dancing on airplanes and all that.And those last one's from Victoria and Dallas.

(10:26):
This gem of a man, KirkCousins, drives a sixteen year old
Conversion van that he got from hisgrandmother when she stopped driving, and he
refuses to buy a new car because, quote he says, it still runs
just fine. He is the stubborndad we all had growing up and the
dad we need running this team.Is that true? That is one hundred
percent truth that story about him?Have a Ferrari? He drives a conversion

(10:48):
van. You should have told methat to start now. I'm a huge
fan. You know what, I'ma bigger fan as well because I'm that
type of person. So does hecan move into your neighborhood? You wouldn't
even know what was that dude outthere trim and bushes? Is that Kirk?
You're gonna see it? Car buddy? Hey, you need help there
with the lawn. I know youcan hire someone with that. You made
one hundred and eighty million dollars lastfew years. Ninety four point down the

(11:09):
bull. Would you kill off afamily member fictionally to get out of going
to work? No, you'd beshocked to how many people have admitted to
doing that. When you get tothat in just a second, here my
grandmother a sick excuse what if shereally is four oh four seven four one
is zero ninety four nine? Orhit us? Not I hid talk about
what's the excuse you've given the craziesor someone's given you, but like insane

(11:30):
excuses you've used to get out ofwork. So Zippia did this a poll
of one thousand people in America whowork, working folks, and they found
fifteen percent of people who blamed travelcomplications. These are things that aren't real.
They blamed it on like I misseda flight, or my flight was
canceled, or I can't come intomorrow. Forty three percent of scheduled a
health appointment they didn't need to goto just to send confirmation to their boss.

(11:52):
They were gonna miss work and thencancel the appointment. I know I
I never never die, really,because then I would have gotten out of
our meetings. Duh, well notanymore. Uh. Fifty six percent of
blamed illness on a child of achild or a family member, and eighty
eight percent of fake their own sickness. But this is the one that got
me. Twenty six percent of peoplehave killed off a relative. And of

(12:15):
those, forty five percent there werepeople that said that they didn't have relative,
they just made up. One hasdone that. My grandmother told me
to okay, my grandmother Anne Murphytold me when I was in just my
first job. I was I wasa substitute teacher. And she's like,
she was living with us at thetime. She's in her nineties, and
she goes, you can always blameme for dying. And I was like,
whoa grandma, And she goes,it's fine, it's gonna happen someday.

(12:39):
That's hilarious. My mom has alwayssaid that if I don't want to
do something, I can just say, like, my mom will let me.
Sorry, my mom, My mom'ssick. Can you still do that
at thirty? Yeah? I can't. I'll try. I'll try. From
Facebook Alexandra Alexander Praither. I hada buddy call and say he was trapped
in his closet and had no wayto get out until his dad got home
from work. Oh, and I'mstuck. Jody Lynch. I had someone

(13:03):
call out saying that they were trappedin their garage because the power was out.
I then walked them through how tolet manually get out of their garage.
Yeah, you just pulled the redlever that's hanging down. Yeah,
that's a bummer right there. Andthis last one, a coworker of mine
went home early one day, sayinghis mother had passed away. Six weeks
later, his mother wished him happybirthday on Facebook. I'm pretty good about

(13:28):
going to work no matter what.I don't know if that cod with a
big excuse. But even when Isaid I had a real excuse for my
boss and Charlotte, I said,hey, the snow's real bad. I
don't think I'm gonna be able tomake it in. He's like, you're
from Illinois, you can drive himseriously, Well I did, and it
was like driving over moguls, likeski moguls, because the roads were not
If anyone ever called me and saidthey can't drive in the snow, I'm

(13:48):
just carmel wise. I don't wantto get sued. I'm just gonna be
like, yeah, then don't becauseif you just run into something, then
it's my fault that I made you, you know, put on your snow
shoes. You will blame it onthe depth of your grandmother. That's fine.
But if somebody's like, oh sorry, snow, You're like, I
mean, I didn't specify a timeand day. It's karma that you gotta
worry about, especially when you gotthis excuse well, like I was so

(14:09):
deep in the lies. Then Istarted making Facebook post location tag from like
Piedmont Hospital. Who is in thehospital? We'll find out six eight fifty
five. Excuse me, it's ninetyfour point nine of the bull and what
did you use? What excuse didyou lie about to get out of work?
Four four seven four one zero ninetyfour nine mood Kimmy and ODIs,
I'll have a fantastic day. I'mkind of need to sort and I'll show

(14:31):
everyone Georgia's number one for New countrybulls or some days you might not start
living. A perfect time to comeinto this topic. What's the excuse you've
used or someone you know is usedto get out of work? Twenty six
percent of people have killed off afamily member fictionally to get out of work.

(14:54):
As kimmyan Otis, Chris and duLuth, you may be conjuring up
some bad karma with you call thatout of work. I did something pretty
horrible. Basically, I said mygirlfriend was in the hospital with a serious
condition. No, that is askingfor such bad karma. Seems like do
you have a girlfriend though right,it's not like a fictional girlfriend. Did
you make some kill people all thetime in my bok, I'm not saying

(15:18):
this person anymore, but at thetime, yes, I did have an
actual girlfriend, and she's asking you, like, why am I getting all
these texts from people that saught onFacebook? And I'm okay. I'm like
okay, I did have numerous peopleat work. I was like Facebook friends
with and stuff, and like,so I was getting lots of messages like
checking in. That's funny. You'reclaiming the flowers and you're like, babe,

(15:39):
I got these for you. Yeah. I don't know how you continue
with the relationship because at that point, I'd always be wondering if the karma
is going to come back around andsome freak accidents going to happen, it's
going to be my fault because Imade up that lie. Well, like,
I was so deep in the lies. Then I started to make a
Facebook post location tag from like SivemontHospital. My god, really obscure it,

(16:00):
right, digging myself deeper into thislie. That's so much work.
Chris checked in at Piedmont Hospital likeit's a vague book post. Probably about
a few weeks later, I waslike, oh, yeah, yeah,
she's doing much better now. Youforgot to post that I'm going to pick
her up from the hospital one Soeverybody's like just on this lift hanger,
like so wait what happened? Andyou're like, oh, yeah, yes,
this kind of works out in yourfavor unless you got busses on it,

(16:22):
because then people are like, man, Chris really powered through that time
in his life when this bless Chris? Wow, man, what I mean?
What a guy? I only missedthat one day of work too.
I could have milked that for numerousdays off work, but I only missed
but one day. You could havegone on like fmla leave or something,
thank for being here with us.It's moved Kimmy and Otis. I'm Brian
mood. What's the reason, theexcuse, the wild excuse, crazier the

(16:45):
better that you use to get outof work. Four o four seven four
one zero ninety four nine. Justthat iHeart talk back. It's shocking how
many people just twenty six percent ofpeople asked was Willy Nilly'd be like,
yeah, if that person died,but then you have to remember that you
told somebody that person died, soyou don't see that died again off multiple
times. Right, He's got thisfictional uncle, you keep killing it.
He used to be able to justbe like, I think it's COVID you

(17:07):
get five days off, But nowthey've changed that guideline. This one is
from Katie in Griffin on the iHeartTalk Back. Well, sometimes you lie
to your boss and you end upbumping into him. I just heard that
on the radio and I was like, I have to tell you about my
I worked for a small company andwell, one day I got invited to
a Kitty Chesney concert. Of course, it was the same day that I

(17:30):
had a double told my boss thatI was throwing up all morning. There
was no way for me to evenstand up and naked to work. I
go to the bar to go orderdrinks and everything, and there he is
next to me, four people down, ordering a drink, and I looked
over and I know he noticed me. Went back to work the next morning

(17:51):
and he was wearing a Kitty Chesneyshirt from the concert, and he said,
Hey, do you like my shirt? And I looked at the shirt
and I was like yeah. Iwas like, I like too, tell
me you busted me without telling meyou busted me, You like my shirt?
Huh? Got to you A bigKenny fan no shoes nation. We
don't talk about no work either.That's what Key would signed off on that.

(18:12):
What'd you call out to work with? What was the excuse? Thank
you for being here with us onyour Tuesday morning. Four O four seven
four one zero ninety four nine isthe number. Give us a call.
Have you ever used a crazy excuseto get out of work? Twenty six
percent of people polled in America havekilled off a family member fictionally and just
said sorry, can't come in.So and so died and then they move

(18:33):
on with their life. For therest of my life, I would be
concerned that if anything happened to thatperson, it was my fault. Give
me anxiety. Yes, this actuallyhappened. T J. Kelly, one
of our Kiotis family members, toa coworker. He had you have one
guy that worked for us, heneeds to take better notes because his grandmother
died like five times in the sameyear. Yeah, yeah, you call,

(18:56):
Oh my grandma passed away, andI feel like the fourth or fifth
time, We're like, Okay,you're fired. How many grandmas do you
have? Sir? That was talkbackof the Free iHeartRadio app. That's a
good point, Otis He could keepsaying it's a different grammar each time,
but you gotta keep notes. Ifyou're gonna live a lie, you gotta
take detailed notes. Darren and Atlanta, what did you use? What was

(19:17):
the excuse to get out of work? Excuse was today? Uh? I
got into work today and I realizedwe had forced overtime and I really didn't
want to be there today. Soan hour and a half within the work,
I called my boss back and waslike, Hey, I gotta go
home because my daughter got sick inschool and she pooped all over herself.
Do you want to be anonymous inthis college? No, it's fine.

(19:41):
Does they know if he wants moredetails on a situation, they're like that,
They're like, you know what,that is a mess? You know,
good luck? You know once hiskids they're like, yeah, just
go go go hunder your business.Yeah, because again there's just no follow
ups to that, And that's agreat How old is your daughter though,
because if she ever finds out thatthat was the excuse you used, Like,
Dad, that's so embarrassing. Whywould you say I pooped my pants?

(20:02):
Like fifteen? What's gonna happen isyou're gonna later be like oh oh
oh that hell. I gotta goright TJ Max and stay away from all
gas station food today, Darren,just make sure is coming for you right
you help me get from Bill rickA Doulton Bill every Days ninety four point

(20:27):
nine the ball ninety four point ninein the ball. Thanks for being here
on this beautiful Tuesday. Looks likeit's gonna be the seventies sick? Is
that wrong? Can we do itver tomorrow? So it's all gonna be
give be on a patio later,it's move Kimmy and Otis. Make sure
you got that free iHeartRadio app andyou can get the whole podcast on demand.
There. We've been talking about theridiculous reasons people use the car out

(20:49):
of work sick. Twenty six percentof people pulled in America said they've killed
off a relative fictionally, which isawful. That's so y, good morning.
When did you call it a worAnd what's the excuse you used?
So I called out of work sayingthat I was profusely throwing up and that
I thought I had strip and abunch of other things. And the fact
of the matter is that my dadis my boss, and I in fact

(21:11):
did not have strip And I wasactually over out of a friend's house and
we were getting ready to go outfor the day because her mom had invited
us to go out to downtown Atlanta, and I really just I really needed
a day off of work. AndI had gotten a call for my dad.
About an hour later, he wasat my front door coming to bring
me some sack and getting I waslike, well, I really didn't think

(21:37):
this one through, and he endedup leaving it at my front door and
said, okay, well when youget back, I know, after your
day of being out in Atlanta,you're gonna make some bay decisions. You're
not going to feel great tomorrow.So here's a gonna be basket for me.
The sweet guy's so sweet? Didyour dad, Like, I mean,
your dad knows you, so heshould know what your go to excuses
would be. Like, he wasn'tskeptical at all, clearly not if he

(21:57):
brought you a basket, believed it. Well, I get stripped all the
time, at least once of us, and so he figured, you know,
it was just another bad case ofstretch. So my roommates kind of
sold me out before he called me. So I really couldn't lie at that
point, not like a Fairest Buellersituation. You put a fake body in
the bed snoring on the radio.Very much so. You are New Bull

(22:22):
morning shows, a great love thestories. Couldn't breathe while you go.
I ken my face Face ninety fourpoint nine