Lab Meat, LSD, and a Mosh Pit Dookie

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good riddance to the week. But we just got here.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
I guess Tuesday. Yeah, I'm fine with that, by the.

Speaker 1 (00:07):
Way, honestly the same, and in fact, so is the
majority of America.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Be two dubsypathetically. If the show gets big enough, could
we say to the shills, we're doing four days a week.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
Yeah. I won't say which show it is, but there
is one that originates out of North Carolina that those
guys were running off of bits from their show from
the nineties.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Nope, oh, hilarious syndicated show.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
It is a syndicated show that they are in the
Radio Hall of Fame. They came in two days a week.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Big bubba, Nope, damn it.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
No, no, no, and then the rest of the week
they'd just golf. Oh my gosh, So for two days
a week they'd come in for four hours, do a show,
and then just bits. And they got the best parking too.
It was like they're only year two days a week.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Eh, well, you gotta put an your time.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Oh to be a corporate shill of a radio personality.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
But it is Friday, which is great. Oh, there's a
lot going on.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
That's so interesting. Get you caught up Mikey.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Everything that's going on this weekend of.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
The morning mash but on Rock ninety five five and
I myself am Maria that you bring up to the
fact the fact that it's Friday. Yeah, because Fridays are
free Rightay, I don't have the sound effect cute, so
I'm the sound effect four ninety five fifty that actually

(01:34):
is the sound to call.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
My grandpa was a logger, yeah, back before they had chainsaws.
Actually remember like back you see those pictures of them
holding the things and they just go.

Speaker 1 (01:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
And then one time he dropped the tree on his
best friend's arm and it took his arm off.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
We called him Uncle Fred. He wasn't really my uncle,
but like I was always like, what is going on?
He's like, your damn grandpa dropped a tree on mar.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
I think after you go that far with an arm,
usually they shout out uncle, and if you take the
whole thing off, they just become your uncle. So that
makes a lot of sense. Ninety five fifty callus for
free chain cell Friday. We got weather next and now w.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
C HI Weather with Michael weather Man. Great career choice, Mike,
that's the weather like today. It's freaking Friday, freaking fall Friday,
freaky Friday. Yeah, I have sixty seven today.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Did you switch bodies with anyone?

Speaker 3 (02:27):
Win?

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Oh? If I could, my goodness, be fun to be
a Gerard Way for a day.

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Oh my god, you know what a choice.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
Just go out and rocks some my chemical romance.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
This show was so one of the top five shows
I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Best show I've ever seen.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
It was incredible.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
If you didn't go, you missed out. Uh yeah, I
have sixty seven, Yes, high sixty seven Today. It's gonna
feel a lot like fall windy this afternoon. Win gotus
up to thirty miles an hour, but it's gonna calm
down as we get into the evening and then just
to mix with clouds and sun.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
It's real.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
It's I don't know what this false fall all everybody's
talking about.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Is well, okay, I know it's a thing, but it.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Feels like it is changed.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
This is like a weird it's like weird polar air.
I hate when the bed goes out. It doesn't matter,
it's fine, it's fine. I'm going my job. I'm good.
I'm good at my job. I'm good at my job.
I'm good to my job. It's like a ball.

Speaker 4 (03:18):
Shut up.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
You're like a runner. That just it's fun to watch
you fall down because you're real good at running.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
God, whatever, it's like polar vortex air. It doesn't matter.
We're supposed to get another ridge of like heat that
went out the window because then we have like another
front of coldness. Although it's gonna be like eighty next Saturday.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
See well, I mean they say that now you're right
that Friday everything could switch.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Where are your pajamas inside out? You know, we're getting superstitious.
Next on the morning Mash.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
But Rock ninety five to five, Chicago's rock station, it
is Friday. Coming up on the show fund to the Head,
We're gonna give you the chance to win Chicago Wolves tickets. Also,
I'm going to tell you everything going on around town
this weekend. Maria, are you superstitious?

Speaker 1 (04:05):
I'm a little stitious of this quote.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yeah, I'm not. I'm too lazy.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
I think I'm not even a little bit like.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
If some bad's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. I'm not
gonna try to.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Yeah, I once I did college before I dropped out
for like a second. I just became so I guess
not devoted to science by any stretch of the imagination.
But like, if it doesn't pass any scientific standard, I
just don't regard it. I hold it in absolutely no regard.
So I throw that stuff out.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
What do you think about the moon landing? And are
birds real?

Speaker 1 (04:38):
Birds? Are definitely not real?

Speaker 2 (04:41):
Be so clear.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Bird's fake cameras, all of them. But did you see
this thing that says fifty two percent of college football
fans admit they're superstitious on game day.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
I have a friend who's really superstitious. He wears a
particular hat on a hockey game day.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Does he also wear man Buntu and like.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
It's hard to wear around radio?

Speaker 1 (05:01):
You know what?

Speaker 2 (05:01):
That's not me? No, No, I'm telling you I'm not superstitious. Really,
I just don't care. Yeah, but he is. He wears
a particular hat every time. It's this brown hat. And
the reason it's brown because he's never washed it season
after season after Oh it's gross. It looks and there's
like he's a mechanic, so there's just like stuff all
over it.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Yeah, you know, so that's disgusting. Not me.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
I know someone who is. I have one here that
in a new ad that's out. The Kelsey brothers and
the and the Watt family share quirky traditions. Jason Kelsey
says he only eats lucky charms before a game, which
is kind of funny. He's like, he wears me lucky.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
Jason Kelsey ever heard in my life?

Speaker 3 (05:39):
That's true?

Speaker 2 (05:40):
That's hilarious.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
T J.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Watt calls himself the Michelangelo of Taco's building Towers of
Old El Paso kits.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Okay, these guys are just hungry. Has nothing to do
with the game.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
I have a couple of super fans here though. Denver's
barrel Man Tim mcchernan, known as the barrel Man, attended
Broncos games for decades wearing nothing but an orange barrel
cowboy hat and boots, regardless of the weather. That was
what he thought would make the Broncos win. Turns on
who's wrong.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Sometimes I feel like you guys just want to do
some stuff.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
We're bored.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
People are very bored.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Guys want to do things, and then you look for
a reason to do it and then like the team
wins are like, see it works. Now I have to
keep doing the thing that I want to do the
whole time.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
A long time ago, the Bills started winning after super
fan Ken Pinto. Ron Johnson took tailgating to the next
level when he started cooking on his car hood, serving
shots from a bowling ball, and dousing himself in ketchup
and mustard. So now when when the team is playing
at home, that's what happens. Dude's a free I know.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
Oh my god, I bet his bedroom game is awesome.
You have to be a certain amount of like good
at that kind of stuff in order to pull off
that kind of weirdness.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
I mean, there's the normal ones, like people letting their
beards grow out stuff like that. But fine again, you just.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Your beard to grow out.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah. Hey, by the way, eight four four fifty, are
you superstitious? What's the weirdest one you've ever heard of?
We'll read some of these back at the end of
the show, and remember three days Monday night football boys, Vikings,
get your stitions out.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Oh I made chili, so your team's gonna lose some tootsos.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
On the front of the Inevitable Human Robot.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
War, we already knew that gen Z is getting just
a little too chummy with the robots, but now they're
going full force with it. Forty one percent say they're
in a relationship with AI. Four percent consider AI their
best friend. Let's go twenty three percent view AI is
just a tool.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
I find it to be a tool, but yeah, it's
a good tool too.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Now that tool is your best friend.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Here's the thing I can understand it. Like, I'm used
to being friends of tools. Yes, that's true. Well I
am friends with you, right, I mean, since Wrench, I
think you're a tool. You're gonna Since the pandemic, I
feel like people are a little more to themselves than
they used to be. Kids, especially right, everybody's in front

(08:08):
of screens, especially younger kids. They grew up in front
of screens. I mean, I'm just saying, this is a
natural order of the way this stuff is going to happen.
We are going to interact with robots more than we
are humans. And you're seeing it's already happening.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
You hear that Mike is talking about the natural order
with robots.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
Well, I mean it's natural to this point. I mean,
this is the evolution of the human races. We built
these things.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Look at this clunker enabler over here.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
I am a clunker compared to the robots. That's humans
or we're slow where our brains work slower. But if
you can here's my thing. If you can use these
to help benefit your life, you might as well use
them because everybody else about to use them.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
I mean, yeah, that's definitely an argument. How were you
with saying no to drugs?

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Not good?

Speaker 1 (08:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (08:56):
No, kidding better now.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
Truly, this is how they get you. They convince you
that human friends aren't really valuable because you have this
robot that's going to tell you every single thing that
you want to hear. Exactly, baby, who's been logging everything
you've ever said to it for years and years and years.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yeah, I don't like that. Oh no, And now they're
sending us emails.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
And now they're sending us they're interrupting us in the
middle of breaks.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Come on, they're.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
Taking over and they're going to beat up human versus
robot war.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
This was news from the front of the inevitable human
robot war.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
You want us to give it away in this economy?
Jolly Peppers, it's the morning mash. But on Rock ninety
five to five.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Nikey oh Man, there is a post on Reddit, Apparently
someone pooped in the pit at the system of a
down show at Soldier Field. My god, I'm just gonna
read you the post.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
What in the woodstock ninety nine?

Speaker 2 (09:53):
This censored as I can this. This sentence ends with
a period by the way which one of you took
a bleeping bleep exactly. I was literally walking out after
the concert ended, look down at the floor so I
could step over a plastic cup, when all of a sudden,
I see the biggest singular piece of fresh bleep on

(10:16):
the floor. It's actually so bleeping nasty that people do that.
It was near the moshpit area, which makes it even worse.
Thank god it was still intact, though nobody had to
literally eat bleep while washing that night. Now there's more
videos coming out that say there was people finding poop
on the bottom of their shoes in the mashpit. Listen,

(10:37):
we have a lot of rules about the mashpit. Yeah,
you know, no elbows, you got to pick someone up
if they fall down, and don't take a crap in
the mashpit.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Some rules. It feels like we shouldn't have to say
out loud.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
I would think that about a lot of things these days.
And we have to continuously here.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
We are say them out loud. Yes, which, by the way,
we should never be the rule managers.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
Oh my god. Wow.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
The question is, how does this happen? How did you
take a dump in a pit shorts?

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Even so?

Speaker 1 (11:07):
But didn't he say it was huge?

Speaker 2 (11:08):
You just shake it out?

Speaker 1 (11:10):
But he said it was huge.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
But everybody's looking up at the stage. Think about it.
What's what's happening is out the bottom of your shorts,
which is about knee level. You could squeeze one off
pretty easy.

Speaker 1 (11:20):
I'm not convinced that I could poop standing up well yeah,
I mean, I mean, like I guessed that I could.

Speaker 2 (11:29):
You won't give it a shot. I'll stand over here,
I won't look I could. I kind of watch I
could do it.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Like, I don't have to go right now. But then
we have a little more tea this morning. Some of the.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
Light it up.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Give me a second. I'll try it.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
I mean I I clearly he pulled it up. I'm
saying he it could be. Ah, let's be real, let's
take care.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
It could have been a skirt. I mean, who are
we to say? Who are we to judge?

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Yet? That's so true.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
I don't discriminate against poopers.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
Because also, like if a chick is squatting on the ground,
you really don't think that much about it. It's just like, oh,
she's tired, she needs to lick.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
She's like, oh, she dropped her phone, she's got to
pick it up. And while she's down there, just a
quick dirt, dirt.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
It can't be that quick. It was huge.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Well, oh, sometimes the skids get greased. Also, isn't there
a book called Everybody Poops?

Speaker 1 (12:18):
Yes, yes there is.

Speaker 2 (12:20):
So first we have the guy doing the wanky tanky
at the system of a down corn show, and now
we have poop in the pit at the system of
a down show.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
I'm starting to think that rock fans aren't the most
well behaved people on the planet.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
That's why we get to do this show.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
This is a reminder from the Morning Mashka to beat
your fiber.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
Matthew Pumpkins Rock ninety five five, Chicago's rock station. So
much fun to see Billy Corgan the other night with well,
I mean I got to see him come out and
finish the big My Chemical Romance show with the boys
right after Maria and her roommate decided to leave.

Speaker 1 (12:55):
It to beat traffic stage for a second.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
Can I tell you? Did you beat traffic?

Speaker 4 (12:59):
No?

Speaker 2 (13:00):
The scrappy thing is you love to try to beat
a little traffick and ended up just getting stuck. Anyway,
that's my decision. Have you seen my I mean, have
you seen smashing pumpkins before? See I I've never seen
smashing pumpkins live. Yeah, my first time seeing Billy Corgan again.
So much fun hearing his voice blow through an arena.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
You call him Billy Corgan. I call him Gerardway Senior.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Okay, like that. If you don't know, they're very connected,
my chemical romances. They wouldn't even be here without smashing pumpkins.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
They also look just strangely alike.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
There is a weird correlation there between them, but kind
of cool.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
A real a weird coordination, a coordination if you will. Hey, mikey, Yeah,
what day is it? Free?

Speaker 2 (13:46):
I don't know?

Speaker 3 (13:46):
Americaitarring, get out.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
Of the wow, okay, coming down? Oh I thought you
were mowing people over for Okay, that's cool. Eight four
four h five ninety five fifty. This is in fact
your cue to call to win ray.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
Yes, Friday whispering, I was just doing the opposite of you, mysteria.
Now here's a bit only blug with mares with Maria.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
Maris is out this week. In fact, we have sent
him out to give us some critiques on art and
culture and things of that nature, since he had such
ground breaking views on the Princess Bride last week.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Mona, Lisa, Winnie, the Pooho have been in there so
far the Wheel yesterday, Wheel.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yes, we'll be hearing his letter around eight forty ish today.
But right now is your chance to play Fun to
the Head. You answer trivia questions, will take nerve shots
when you get them wrong, and then you get a
chance to win a pair of tickets to see the
Chicago Wolves take on the Rockford Ice Hogs Hockey season's
Baby Yeah Baby Ice Boxing eight four, four, nine, five,

(15:10):
ninety five fifty call now to play Fun to the Head.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
And now Fun to the Head on rock Eddy five five. Yeah,
don't worry, they're using nerve weapons.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
John, you there, I am here.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
Good morning, guys, Joe.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
What is going on? My dude? Welcome to Fun to
the Head. This is good morning. This is the tribute game.
You answer the questions. If you get it wrong, Me
or Mikey, depending on who you hold hostage, takes the
shots for you in the form of nerve darts. If
you get three questions correct, you win tickets to see

(15:46):
the Chicago Wolfstick on the Rockford Ice Hogs. Are you
prepared for these terms?

Speaker 2 (15:52):
I think Shelby.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah, very good. Now you need to choose your hostage.
Would that be me or Michael?

Speaker 2 (15:59):
That'll be Michael.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
That'll be Michael. I love so much.

Speaker 4 (16:04):
Question.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Let me just get this.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Remember you got one saved. So if you can't think
of one, Jesus that almost hit me in the face, Well.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
I had to cock it. I gotta do my own thing. Okay,
Who is number one? John? Who are the Bears playing
this Monday?

Speaker 2 (16:25):
Minnesota Viking?

Speaker 1 (16:29):
That's good job. Why do you know we don't hate John?
We love John.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
He's got a gun to my fand we fear John.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
Amen. Okay, Question number two? What is the first rule
of fight Club?

Speaker 2 (16:50):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (16:52):
I need help.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
This one's very easy. I love this movie. The first
rule of fight club is say it with me, everybody
in your car. You don't talk about fight clubh That
is right, John.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Technically you still got that right because you got your safe.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Okay, two for two, but I can't help you with
anything else.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
Question number three, Who is the green dinosaur in the
Mario games?

Speaker 2 (17:20):
Luigi? Oh my god, you missed it. That's Yoshi.

Speaker 1 (17:25):
Yeah, Luigi is in fact many. Luigi is a very
controversial name to have these days. Okay, terrible, I know
we'll all be okay, Yes, we're not CEOs. Question number four.

(17:46):
I like that what band sang the hit songs Chop,
Suey and Toxicity.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
You better get those, That is right, my boy.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
John, I'll dumb play. You have one the tickets to
see the Chicago Wolves take on the Rockford Ice Hogs.
Who you bringing with you? John? My wife, as you should,
shout out your wife.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
Natalie Gorman. Thank you Natalie.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
You hot.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
Natalie. You're a saint, John, You're a sinner. Together, you
make a perfect couple. Thank you so much for calling
in and playing fun to the head.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
My guy, Thank you, guys.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
I'd be Friday.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
You Happy Friday. Unfortunately, the lithium uneffective?

Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yikes, that's dark.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
Maybe alkaline next time.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
Oh my god, there.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
Are different kinds of batteries. Sure, maybe oh plug them
into the ball.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Never mind, I thought I was thinking of something else where.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Were you thinking of? Hey, do we have a rock report?

Speaker 2 (18:45):
Rock eighty five five Chicago's rock stations. Time for some
rock news. Yeah, it is starting off a little bit
of sad news here. The Atlanta Police Department found that
Brent Hines, one of the founding members of Mastadon who
had recently left the band, is to have fault for
his death. He was ing is Harley Davidson in a
speed between sixty three and sixty eight miles an hour,
twice the posted speed limit when he collided with a

(19:06):
BMW SUV at an intersection, killing him.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
That's awful.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Yeah, it's just sad all the way around. And from
what everybody says about this guy, you know, he seemed
like a kind of a wacky, fun nice guy, like
just kind of a creative yeah, you know character. A
lot of us know people like that. Let's get onto
some good news here. Three of rocks rock music's leading women,
Amy Lee of Evanescence Poppy, and spirit Box's Courtney of
the Plant have joined forces for a new song called

(19:32):
end of You. Maria, I have a clip at it
I make divorce playlist, laterally called end of you.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
I was thinking about it, that kind of lie.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
Great song. Get this well, I'm really excited about this.
I used to drive to high school playing break stuff
when I was an angry high school.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
Oh yeah yeah, roll into the.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
School parking lot, break up. Thanks to night. Oh we
got a new olympiscuit.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
I know. Okay, I have that one too. I have
that one too.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
There's a famous drummer on TikTok. She's a cute little
girl and she drums over famous songs.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
Cute.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
She's like probably nineteen. Yeah, I'm old now, so I
look at anyone under twenty five is a little to me. Sure,
But Fred Durst, I guess saw her online and gave
her the song to drum over, not announcing it anywhere
or telling anyone. Suddenly people were listening to it and
we're like, well, what the hell? It sounds like limp biscuit.

Speaker 1 (20:21):
And guess what.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
I bought this cloud on a paymouth plan and a
ghosted out and a mini fan.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
Like my hand like a wobble gone.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
We're spitting out syrup in.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
The Twilight song.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Got no job, But I'm on the clock.

Speaker 4 (20:34):
You can't stop me because stop.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
Words to the back kind of deep.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
You're know the message from Faddy.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
That's our new song. It's not trying you get that
billy whip?

Speaker 1 (21:04):
Oh Christmas were she did? She put it on the internet.

Speaker 2 (21:08):
And she got it because you Dave God. Yeah. I
hope there's a whole album of old sounding Limp Biscuit
coming out. I love it.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
I think that Limp Biscuit just sounds like Limp Biscuit.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, as they should. If they came out and had
a different sound, you'd be like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (21:22):
And we love we love the standard. Hey ladies, okay,
they're hey fast, all right, okay, and now they did
it and now we all do it together. Okay, we're
having fun.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
That's right. All the rock news up now at Rock
nine five five A duck.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
Come Nike, Yes, would you protect me?

Speaker 2 (21:43):
Of course?

Speaker 1 (21:45):
Don't like lie to me.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
Well, listen, if somebody was trying to you know, if
somebody grabbed you on the street or something, I'd jump them.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
You'd be like, my shoulder hurts.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
I'd be like, should call the cop? Actually, I just
get my phone out and start recording.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, you'd feel like everything's content.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
There's a Japanese company called okay rental kawaihito.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
I think you got to say it with the act. No, No,
I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me this
rental kawaihito. Ye okay.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
They are offering to rent out I don't like how
they phrase that, but to rent out time with scary
people with intimidating appearances, including men with shaved heads, daddoos,
and yakuza like looks.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
This is awesome.

Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, it's uh. The service claim to help customers resolve
disputes by accompanying them to confront workplace bullies and my neighbors,
cheating spouses, or even to intimidate.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
Children's bullies with which ethically I don't know if I
like love that one. You're send a member of the
Bloods to school to intimidate a children's bullies, Like, I
think it's a little overkill.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
First of all, I'm doing MS thirteen right shod Yeah,
this sounds great. I want this for my next Thursday life.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
Well, you think about it. If somebody really was messing
with somebody, or let's say a guy was being overly
whatever with your wife or something, You're like, I can't
do anything about this, And some guy walks up to
him when he's walking home on the street at night
and it's like, hey, let me talk to you for
a second.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah. I like it because it's just short of hiring
a hit man, right.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
You know, it's like the step before you decide that
you got to go.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
I think I would argue it's Tuesday. So first first
there's the intimidating guy. Then there's the actually beat you up,
then there's the kill you guys, break your knees guy. Yeah,
the Holy Trinity. Trinity speaking of a sex type thing,
lab grown meat.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
That's like a sex type it's like meat but not Yeah,
not the real thing.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
So you're not into you're not into. I'm actually really
into the lab grown meat thing. But tell me your things.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
I just don't like it. I like natural food. I
don't want anything grown in a lab.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
I don't like it news about natural food. It tends
to be pumped with all the things.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Not when I was growing up, Grandpa had cows in
the field. Well yeah, quite literally, never pumped with anything.
But I think that it is a hard thing to
do in this day and age. Yeah, but I'm trying
to keep it as natural as I possibly can. I
don't even like lab grown anything. I'm unless it's diamonds
because they're cheaper.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
I'm team lab grown meat, okay, because our farming is terrible. Okay,
the way that we farm sucks, So I'm all for it.
But it is a struggling industry because, like you said,
some people are just like uncomfortable with it. It doesn't it
doesn't sit right with them. But in order to fight
that struggle, there's an Australian meat growing company called VOW

(24:37):
and they're just creating these insane products. One of them
is Japanese quail frog foog raw. But you know you
don't have to like force feed a teeny tiny bird
to death.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
Well, I mean that's the part I like exactly.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
You like I need.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
I need a little murder suffering.

Speaker 1 (24:54):
I need a little seedistic before it dies. Yeah, I
feel horrible. But the one that's like really catching people's
eyes is that they've made wooly mammoth meat balls. Really,
I think that that's so cool.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Interesting.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Maybe it's messed up, but I don't know, I think
it's so dope. Yeah, it says the coming claim stuff.
The world's largest food grade cell culture reactor at twenty
thousand liters capable of producing over two thousand pounds of meat.
And since they already have like all the genetics for
wooly mammoths, they're just making wooly mammoth meat.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
They're also using I'm reading about this, or using elephant
DNA in it to kind of to build the structure
the meat back up and stuff. Here's what someone said. Reportedly,
it looked oddly furry and smelled like cooked crocodile meat.
Wooly even quote like it had been coughed up by
a cat or rolled around on the ground.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
So maybe work in progress.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
There working on it. We'll get the hair out of
your meat eventually.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Would you eat it? No, No, you're not even gonna
try it.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
If I'm starving, i'll eat it, but I'm that I'll
find a piece of meat somewhere.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Hey, you can't get some meat in that mouth? Hey,
I kind of first man, Hey, Mikey. Yeah, the corporate
chill said that we have to do a news segment
on the show Man, all right, And then I was like, okay,
but what are we going to do about the headlines?
Because they're real big on not bringing the room down? Yeah,
and they said to just put a positive spin on it.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
Oh that's easy.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Yeah, you know, the most terrific things you've ever read
in your life. All right, we'll just make it happy, alright.
So I'm going to do that because I care about
my job. And this is bad news Bear.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
Oh yeah, hoos the music's good.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
God told her to do it. Woman kidnaps boy?

Speaker 2 (26:43):
Which God one of them?

Speaker 1 (26:46):
Woman arrested for twenty twenty one double homicide.

Speaker 2 (26:50):
Double homicide woman twenty twenty one? What do you do?
Was that the right question? Could I? That's that?

Speaker 1 (26:54):
Well? What the other one do too?

Speaker 2 (26:55):
That's the double Oh wow to them too?

Speaker 1 (26:58):
What did they do?

Speaker 2 (26:59):
They were probably what we're they wearing sounds.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
Like a woman indicted for several counts of child labor.
Come on, kid is probably asking for it. Oh no,
not the bad Okay, the music jeez, even the music
was like too far.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Yeah, too much.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
Jerry convicts Florida matriarch and murder for higher killing of
her former son in law. Now when they say former
son in law, do they mean that he divorced the
daughter or is that just former son in law? Now? Yeah,
the either way, all of it bad news Bears Rock.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
Ninety five five, Chicago's rock station. It is a free
chain taw Friday, and so many things going on this weekend.
I'll tell you all about them. Coming up momentarily.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Maria, have you ever done acid?

Speaker 2 (27:47):
No, that's the only drug I've never done.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
That's the only drug you've never done.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (27:52):
Well we need to expand upon some move here.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
I've tried out its okay, even even some of the
bad ones I tried once. I mean, but like with
crystal meth, I ate it like I swallowed it like
a pill and then I realized I had ADHD. Because
it calmed me down. I felt normal. I'm not kidding.
I was sitting at home, Belie, sitting at home after
cleaning my house, and I went, yeah, I can never
do this again. I feel great. Turns out that's what
I need. It's just a stimulant in my life.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
I won't say who, but she's probably listening right now,
but someone close to me in my life, who maybe
raised me from a small child, said that when she
uh tried cacaine, Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Is it
just calmed her down?

Speaker 2 (28:29):
Like Wow, this is not fun at all.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
She was like, I can. I don't know, I can
just think clearly what's happening.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
True.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Well, in that same kind of vein of how maybe
what used to be a recreational drug can have pharmaceutical benefits,
it's really realistic. LSD pharmaceutical LSD can reduce anxiety symptoms
in a like major way for up to twelve weeks.

Speaker 2 (28:52):
When the floor is water, it's very calmings, it's water man.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
Sixty five percent of subjects with generalized anxiety disorder saw improvement.
Nearly half enjoyed full relief. That's insane. I don't think
people like understand what full relief means because I imagine
when you're on traditional anti anxiety medication, it doesn't get
rid of all of it. It just makes you able
to function through it, and thank God for that truly,

(29:18):
But to be able to.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
Actually get rid of it, yeah, I mean it's huge.
I like the fact that they're taking some of these
drugs and they're like whittling them down and figuring out
the uses for them, and it also makes me go, wow,
no wonder these drugs have been illegal for so long
as the pharmaceutical industry wants to keep us hooked on
their pills.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
It started in the fifties, so they start. Okay, a
dear listener, in case you don't know this context about me,
I'm one of those crazy people that does ketamine for
my depression.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
Yeah, exactly, crazy though, I think that's the wrong way
to set it up. I know it's like very low
level like ketamine that.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah, yeah, well once every three weeks in the clinic. Whatever.
I'm very team psychedelic for mental health treatment because it
has legitimately changed my life. This too. Yeah, they're saying
anxiety is the most common mental health condition, and yeah,
just getting rid of it instead of like only getting
rid of twenty percent of it and just being okay
with that.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
That's anxiety. Huh, Why would anyone have anxiety? I can't
even think of one reason. I don't know the whole
world would have anxiety.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
I don't know. Everything has always gone forwarding a plan. Fucker.
Last week, Mari has had some incredible takes on the
Princess Bride, Like they were not credible, So we sent
him out of the studio this week to give us
some other critiques on art and culture and influences, and
he's been sending us letters back to the Morning mash
bit all week. You have another one here from him today.

(30:40):
Let's see what he's critiquing. Michael Jordan is painfully overrated.
What Oh my god, oh my god, this is not
going to be a good blah blah blah. Six NBA Championships.
Sorry if I missed a couple of those and I
thought you were retiring for the millionth time. Wow, Maris,

(31:01):
athletes need to take a break. Dude, should have stayed
with the Wizards.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
All right, I gotta leave the room for the rest
of this.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
Yeah, I don't want to be involved in That's honestly fair.

Speaker 2 (31:09):
I can smell the smoke.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Might as well call them air ball Jordan's. I'll save
by two hundred dollars and actually get some quality from
my sneakers.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
I just want to say I'm not involved in this.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
Sketchers here I come, dude, I don't think Sketchers is
the quality you're looking for.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
I disagree with Maris on all of this.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
And honestly saying, Michael Jordan is a legend, and frankly,
it's time someone said it. Space jam sucks. I tried
to like it, but I was already too familiar with
the Looney Tunes characters to enjoy it hashtag team Lebron Maris.

(31:48):
I think he's gonna get in trouble over that one.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
I think his phone's about to blow up.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
Self esteem. You want me to do that by myself? Oh,
I'm not doing that. It's morning mosh bit on Rock
ninety five to five. Hey Mikey. Yeah, what's going on
around town?

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Lots of things. The Cubs are hosting the Nationals all
weekend at Wrigley. Today's Game one twenty WWE Tonight going
on at the All State Arena in Rosemont, Bleia.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
Boy.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
The Beach Boys playing at the Genesee Theata.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Oh wow, so they're just like in town for a
minute because they're playing riot Fest too.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Yeah. I don't know. The only thing I know about
the Beach Boys is that was the Christmas album my
parents would put on when we were kids, maybe Christmas
Saint Nay. They're really good. Christmas Comes this ime eet you?
It was good? But yeah, what comes? Oh Jesus? And
they're also playing Ryotfest. Yeah, kind of cool.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
Can't wait.

Speaker 2 (32:41):
The Who are playing Sunday at the United Center And
I said, ooh you and a big thing going on
this weekend, maybe the biggest thing in town. Taste of Chicago,
Grant Park. There is musical art note no rock artist,
but like JoJo's gonna be there.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
JoJo's gonna be there.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
Taste of Chicago.

Speaker 1 (33:02):
Get out leave right now yet. Oh my god, I
said something about you at the end of You and Me.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
There's a couple of other artists too. Also the Chicago
Fire taking on the New England Revolution Saturday at Soldier
Field and tomorrow Damien and Stephen Marley at Garcia's Nice
in Chicago. Well, get out, have some fun. Monday, yeah, Maria,
do you don't Monday is football, Yeah, Soldier Field gonna

(33:30):
be crazy all day. Monday is gonna be amazing because
everybody's gonna be wearing Bears gear. It's a kickoff of
the season. Let's freaking go.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Hell Yeah, I can't wait to bear down. Oh bear
with me? Living dead girls. Absolutely how I describe myself
on Fridays.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
By the end of the week, like I'm.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
Alive, it's time to relax, not functional, but I'm alive.
I get some sleep.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
Anyway, Mike, you let me doing time for some spot.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
Tell of game last night? Kicking off the NFL season,
Eagles on top of the Cowboys twenty four to twenty yep, okay,
really just right.

Speaker 1 (34:09):
On top of them, mounted them.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
Six seconds into the first game of the NFL season,
Eagles offensive tackle jay Len Carter was ejected for spitting
at Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
Sucks to eject after six seconds.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
Make matters worse. Footage later surface suggesting that Prescott may
have spit first. Fine suspensions could be coming spitters or twitters.
That's right. They had a big, big lightning delay out there,
sixty five minute lightning delay. Fans where asked to take shelter,
and then the Eagles finished the job twenty.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
Four to twenty After they mounted the.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
Cowboys lose again. Well, kicking off the season the right way.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
I'm just sad someone finished, that's right.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
The Cubs did not play yesterday and they're back at
Wrigley today at one twenty playing the Nationals. Who am
I thinking of Wizards? No, Wizards are basketball because we're
talking about Michaeljordan a few minutes. Are you asking the
Washington Nationals?

Speaker 1 (35:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (35:01):
Yeah, the Washington and the Capitals of the hockey team. Okay,
I was in the Nationals Capital.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
Yeah, so they're playing out there, they better win these games.
The national suck. Also shout out to the White Sox.
Shout out. Might I say that these bats are smoking
as they beat the Twins yesterday eleven to eight, The
White Sox unloaded a season high fifth straight win, capping
a rare four game sweep of the Twins in Minnesota.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yeah, unload on those Twins.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
That's the weather played a factor. There's a rain delay
of over ninety minutes, stretching the game into a marathon finish.
Kyle Teale delivered a breakout performance three for five with
a double, three run, home run, and four RBIs, and
Culson Montgomery added power and production with a home run
and three RBIs.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
Hell yeah, marathon finish, Keep going.

Speaker 2 (35:46):
White Socks are in Detroit tonight. Maris's team Oh boy
at six forty Cubs versus the Nationals. Yep, now I'm
questioning myself. Yep. At Wrigley today one twenty and then
three day As I said, the three days until we
bear down on Monday Night Football seven fifteen game time
when the Minnesota Vikings take on the Bears at Soldier Field.

Speaker 1 (36:11):
Dub Bears right and Howkume never any rock songs about
good parenting. You know, daddy raised his kids. He was
there every night helping them with their homework. It's the
right way, funny. I think we should do it. Yeah,
give us some new rock songs.

Speaker 2 (36:30):
We got new music. This is exciting. We're talking about
it a little bit yesterday, Amy Lee Poppy and Courtney Plant,
Yes spirit Box. They have come together to make a
song that they put out yesterday and it is phenomenal.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
Here, it's so good here it is I you fix one.

Speaker 4 (36:48):
Listen?

Speaker 1 (36:50):
Can you feel a tick on you? I must go
the way shragul friend was so cool.

Speaker 3 (37:09):
That's great, so good.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Her voice is just so haunting.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
Of you? Is the start of life on me?

Speaker 1 (37:26):
Yes, Ami featuring Kazoo very good. Do you want to
hear some of the screaming.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
That's what I want to hear, hear the heavy part.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
Okay, okay, listen to the screaming. Listen to the screaming.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
Like dis.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
So good? You want to know who else I want
on that track? Though? If I'm being so real, well
I already had that. Thank you for tickling our ears
with that tree.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
You add onto that to make it any better.

Speaker 1 (38:05):
Emily Armstrong, Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
It'd be great. Oh, great idea, I know, wow, I know,
talk about a I mean, how many women? Boy, you
don't never mind?

Speaker 1 (38:12):
Give us a quartet, Give us a barbershop quartet of
goth girls.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
We also have other new music.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
This is cool as a guy who drove to high
school every day playing break stuff in the parking lot. Uh,
just to let everybody know, limb.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
Basle, you didn't go into the high school.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
Yeah, I just do in circles. Limp Biscuit has tapped
a viral internet drummer. Is this cute girl who drums
and her name's Christina Rye Balanchenko. Uh, limb Biscuit has
tapped her to leak their new song. She basically puts
out videos where she drums over famous songs, and this
one everybody was like, that kind of sounds like Limp Biscuit.

Speaker 1 (38:47):
It does guide to sound like lymp Biscuit.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
Biscloud and a ghosted out fan like my hand like
a wobble.

Speaker 4 (39:00):
Put them on the clock and you can't suck me because.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Deep Shakespeare of hard Time.

Speaker 2 (39:16):
You know what though, That's exactly what I want from
le Biscuit, you're not keep it simple, keep it fun.
That's our new song. It's not a good How you
get that?

Speaker 1 (39:28):
Fred?

Speaker 3 (39:30):
We know.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
She did. She put it on the internet because you probably.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
Told her somebody's in trouble.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
All theater. We love the theater of it all.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
So yes, new music. How fun is that?

Speaker 1 (39:40):
I like it a lot, Limp Biscuit.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
H and Amy Lee, Poppy and Corney La Plant We back.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Baby mixed Nike.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
Yeah, it's text time. Oh good, thank god, let's get
into it. Yeah, eight four four fifty can always text us,
you get frankly, text anybody throughout the day. They shoot
right here into this studio because we are here, we
are live, we are rock ninety five to five. That's right.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Oh that was good. I liked it. Yeah, I'm gonna
have to write that down so I don't forget your
new Limp Mikey song. Let's go to a Ladies Yeah, Sandwich,
what I know?

Speaker 3 (40:15):
I know?

Speaker 2 (40:16):
I know you would like them all right from the
two one nine. Need a clear need to set a
clear starting point when we are supposed to call for
the chainsaw. I'm always late because I don't know when
we're able to start calling. Well, that's kind of the
point we do tell you. Yeah, well we say this
is the chainsaw, but.

Speaker 1 (40:32):
Yeah, you're supposed to be a surprised start.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Calling the second you Yeah, I could play at any time. Yeah,
be here all morning. Is what I'm trying to tell you.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it's a not so failed attempt
to make you listen.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
From the eight three to two a listener from Houston.
Send some of that fall weather to Houston. It's one
hundred degrees down here.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Okay, but you send us some of the heat then
and then it will equal out, yeah, like in the eighties,
and then tornadoes will.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
Let's see here. From the eight one five. Finally, good morning,
marsh Bit the baddest radio show in the world.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
Yeah, we are bad.

Speaker 2 (41:03):
This is Mike from Bloomingdale, and I wanted to ask
if you guys would do a shout out to my
daughter Gabby. She's turning twelve this Sunday. She's a little
metal head and listens to your station as well.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
Oh I'm so sorry, Gabby talk about us in therapy, Gabby, Gabby,
you need to get some of that out.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
You're the best, Gabby.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Don't listen to her childhood is too early for this.

Speaker 2 (41:20):
Sounds like your dad is awesome. You won't need therapy.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
Your dad's really cool. We're not.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Happy birthday. Happy Birthday eight four ninety five fifty can
always text us that's to eight four four nine five
five Space jam is the best, my.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Favorite Stone Temple pilots banger and Bostonian Landscaping compliment on
Rock ninety five to five Wicked Garden.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
Mm I like it.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
It's the morning mash bit Mikey. Yeah, it's been a week.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
It's been a week.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
We've both survived.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
We made it, which is nice.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
No permanent injuries, well, yeah, physical ones. Emotionally I'm scarred.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Not quite out of here yet.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
Well, we still have this break.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
I'm just gonna do it a lot, leaving the studio
and bust my head open or something.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
Genuinely surprised you haven't yet.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
I have in my life from a number of falls.
I pass out sometimes, do you, Yeah, which is crazy.
I passed out in a food court once in front
of like everybody, just randomly something like that.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
I mean, I might tell us what happened.

Speaker 2 (42:16):
It was during the opioid crisis. I might have been
taken a few Vicain. Okay. I was standing in line
and I had in toaborrow and I had my pizza
tray in my hand, and my buddy was standing behind me.
I passed out and he caught me. But when I
woke up, I'm like in his arms, and I'm looking
around the food court and everybody's looking at me, and
it's like, oh my god, I gotta sit down. So
I see a chair. I take two steps and I
pass out again. Arms go limp and I catch the

(42:36):
top of the chair under my chin. I land slam
down onto the floor and I'm bleeding. Like I sit
up on the desk because I come to and I'm
sitting there and my friends come over and sit down
with me, and they're like, what are we gonna do? Dude,
Like security is coming over here, blah blah blah, blood
running down my arm and this my Buddy's brilliant. He goes,
I got this. He was always the guy that would
drive home when we couldn't, you know. He was that guy.

(42:58):
Stands up and he goes get it some joicies diabetic.
Everybody in the food court was like, oh, okay, cool, hilarious.
Crazy though, Yeah, no, I've had a few passouts in
my day.

Speaker 1 (43:09):
You have not done a single goddamn normal thing in
your litter.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
That somebody told me the other day. They're like, you
live like seven lives.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
Yeah, and you're not dead, which is weird.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
I'm hard to kill baby.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Are you a cat?

Speaker 2 (43:20):
Yes? Oh, two lives left.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
You're a pussy