Linkin Park Chaos, Gorilla Fights, and Maynard’s Close Call

Strap in — today’s episode of The Morning Mosh Pit is loaded with insanity, internet debates, and near-death rockstar moments:

🎸 ROCK REPORT

• Linkin Park’s new live show is blowing fans away — we’ve got the full playlist and surprise stage effects.
• Maynard James Keenan (Tool) was almost buried alive during a video shoot. Yep, for real. Who approved that?

🐻 BAD NEWS BEARS

• Weekend fallout, Chicago chaos, and weird crime headlines. This one involves a stolen Portillo’s truck and a guy in a Batman mask. (Probably.)

🧠 NERD NEWS w/ Marris

• The geek squad rises: comics, space tech, and the newest wearable that reads your mood? Creepy or cool?

🦍 100 MEN VS. 1 GORILLA?

• The internet’s dumbest debate just won’t die. Could they do it? 

⛪ POPE PICKS!

• We each pick our “horse” (AKA our long-shot prediction) for who’s gonna win this weekend — in sports, life, or the chaos economy.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Sad but truesday.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
It's some more mash been on Rock and ninety five five.
My name is Maria Palmer. Already got Marris exasperate, it's
sighing heavily.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
I'm Maris and Mikey.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Oh hey guys, okay, that's the role call.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
I'm just putting the video up on our on our
Instagram here by the way, Hey, it's on.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Social media time right now. It's radio time right now.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Follow us on Instagram. Don't follow Maria, but follow me.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
They already followed me.

Speaker 4 (00:31):
Actually a good solicit, you know. Keep up with all
the stuff that we've got going on.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah, absolutely, it's a lot. We're going to see you
at Next to Day Live this week.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
I can't believe it's this week. Two days away, two
days away. Let's go.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
I got a practice piano line brewing company out on
the Highland.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Jannah, Oh boy.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
I feel different when I go to Indiana.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
I don't know where that is.

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Excuse me, thank you. I don't know what it is.
Every time I go out there, I'm like, oh this
is I feel like I'm somewhere a different country.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
I'll say, like, I've never felt more like I'm going
across the state.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
That's when I pass into Indiana.

Speaker 4 (01:08):
Michael, how many times have you been to Indiana? To No.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
Three, I drove. What's that town on the border of
Michigan in India and Michigan City.

Speaker 4 (01:19):
Yeah, I went there way No wait, in Michigan or
in Indiana. It's right on the line.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
There's some various businesses there that you can frequent save
yourself some money. Island. No, I think it's Fichigan City,
Michigan Cities.

Speaker 4 (01:31):
Where's all the weed places in Michigan. Oh, No, it's
on the border.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
Okay, it's border weak places in Indiana.

Speaker 4 (01:38):
It's illegal day eighty four, ninety five fifty. Everybody knows
where this is. And also know Coheed and Cambria tickets
are out for grabs when you Texas today, whatever you Texas,
We're going to pick a random text at the end
of the show when we read them back at nine
and what's that number? Eight four four five fifty. So

(02:00):
remember because it is a busy show, lots of cool
stuff to talk about today, riot fast and fun to
it ahead at eight one versus a gorilla who wins.
I'm ready to fight all that you have wrong opinions.
We could go off for twenty minutes on that right now.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
We might.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
We might.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
Maynard James Keenan almost died during a video shoot. Oh
my goodness.

Speaker 5 (02:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
They wanted to fake this thing where they buried him alive,
and they screwed it up. I thought you mean, like
recently recently. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
Oh yeah, they're going to video shoot for their tour
they're on right now.

Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah. It's kind of scary actually, because one of my
fears is being buried alive. That would be that'd be terrible.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
Taking note show today.

Speaker 4 (02:43):
Now w C HI Weather with Michael who likes moisture
readings way too much.

Speaker 3 (02:50):
We're gonna get a hot Yeah. I was wondering if
you'd do it.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
Yeah, I got you.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Ah. Yeah today for the warmth. Are we waking up?
We have the windows down. I walked to work. It
was beautiful, it was nice. I am loving this. Maris.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
You got an interesting mix going on today because you
got your shorts on, but you fully have a hoodie on.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Yeah. I'm a shorts and hoodie guy. Okay, even all
through the winters when I was in Colorado, in Washington State,
I shorts in a hoodie all the time we'd go
snowboarding and shorts. I'm serious. We're a weird I'm a
weird person.

Speaker 4 (03:23):
You know this, I know, but like that sounds so
counterproductive because when I picture snowboarding, it's the full snowsuit,
like the abominable snowman.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Yeah, my legs just don't get as cold as my
upper body. Oh yeah, speaking of hot chocolate, there is
I just wait, wait, you're welcome.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
So yeah, it's gonna be dry today, kind of partly cloudy,
but warm.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
It's actually as warm as it's gonna be right now.

Speaker 4 (03:58):
The temperature is gonna slowly start dipping and then by
the night we'll be down to forty nine degrees.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
But other than that, a nice day.

Speaker 4 (04:04):
Fun story where a plane actively falls off at aircraft carrier.

Speaker 1 (04:10):
That doesn't sound fun.

Speaker 4 (04:11):
This is crazy and one of the most expensive mistakes
you're going to hear about today. And we didn't do
it to break Jeff, that's on the way on Rock
ninety five to five.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
Full disclosure.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
I was going to do a human versus robot war here,
but our boy can hit us up at eight four
four nine fifty with a story that we need to hear.

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Ken Let us.

Speaker 4 (04:34):
Know what fully happened while you were working at Ringling Brothers.

Speaker 5 (04:39):
Yeah, well, while I was working at Ringling Brothers, we
were doing it's a dark day usually were there two
weeks a Monday's a dark day. Nobody's around. We don't
do no rehearsals. We do nothing. We feed the cats
and then clean up and go home. While on this
dark day, I happen to feed the cats with my

(05:02):
supervisor and then he says, oh, we're done feeding, now
you can clean out the cat cage.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
When you say cats, what kind of cats are we
talking about? You're talking about lions? Oh my god?

Speaker 1 (05:13):
All right, all right, you can.

Speaker 5 (05:17):
Call them cats. They're big cats. Well you know there
are big cats. But apparently what happened was there's a
transfer of outdoor veranda transfer cage where they can sit
out and lay back, and it's a sliding door and
they have locks. There's only like two set the keys

(05:39):
to these locks, my boss and the owner. And my
boss gave me the set to lock up behind me
when I'm done cleaning up, and apparently we fed them.
I've cleaned up, and I forgot to put a lock
on the door and walked away and These cats are very,
very intelligent. The cat just walked up twitch like nothing

(06:01):
like a sliding door, just pushed it open and was
looking out left to right to see if there's going
to be a round right out and walked over to
one of our tugs that were doing work.

Speaker 3 (06:16):
On and there was nobody around, and went.

Speaker 5 (06:19):
Right to the tire and just laid there and started
chewing on the other tire. Now, all the other cats
are looking around, like do we go out? But what
do we do? I don't know about.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
This, so found them and how did you get back?

Speaker 5 (06:36):
One of the stage managers was coming up the ramp.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
This is out in Philly, Philly.

Speaker 5 (06:42):
By the baseball steep the stadium, and he's coming up
and usually we have a fenced off big you know,
chi link fans everything, so no one could come in
or out. And there are two sections open, one into
the arena and one out to the street. And the
cat didn't go nowhere other than to that specific tire

(07:03):
and just sat there and no on a tire like
it was a.

Speaker 3 (07:08):
That tired did something. That cat And we were talking
about this because someone in the military let an aircraft
carrier fall off a aircraft carrier. The aircraft fall off
an aircraft carrier is crazy.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Hey, Ken, I mean I know, like you're the the
lion wrangler guy, so you're the expert on the circus stuff.
But just a note, maybe a giant cardboard box for
the lions.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
You wouldn't even have to lock anything, No problem at all.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
Did anybody get in trouble from this one?

Speaker 5 (07:36):
Can? I got severely reprimanded.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
I got fired, Okay, unlocked in a circus. You don't
even get.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Fired to get a slap on the wrist.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
Even even your punishment is just in the cage with
the lions for six hours.

Speaker 5 (07:58):
Was to wear a dunk camp all the way everywhere
we win.

Speaker 3 (08:02):
He went with the Dutch cat that's generated. Yeah, how funny.
Well thanks for calling, Ken, Yeah, no worries.

Speaker 4 (08:11):
Yeah, And if you have any war stories where you
just completely messed up while you were at work or
just in personal life, let us know. Eight four four
ninety five fifty.

Speaker 3 (08:24):
Sold out at Soldier Field.

Speaker 4 (08:27):
Ac DC will be here on May twenty fourth with
Taylor Momson. Oh I hope you got your tickets because
you don't want to miss that one.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Oh yes, Taylor Momson, I.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Bow at her feet.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
Oh the pretty reckless, right, yes, pretty red?

Speaker 5 (08:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (08:41):
Yeah, yeah, Oh my gosh. Something you also don't want
to miss the sperm race. That's right. The so called
world's first sperm race was held in downtown Los Angeles
Friday and drew a large crowd. It's fun to think
that people show up in a crowd for a sperm race.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
How did you like that used to be one of these?

Speaker 3 (08:59):
How did it all start? You ask, Well, that's where
Eric Zoo comes in. He's a seventeen year old entrepreneur
from the Bay Area who launched a competition, had a
whole bunch of millionaires get in on it, start funding it,
and now it's becoming a big thing. The race works
as the contenders were hand picked out of dozens of
young men. They were each given given money. They were

(09:19):
given money each week to train their mind, bodies, and diets,
and then they picked one person from USC and one
UCLA student. The group calls itself the sperm Racing Professional
Sperm Analysis Kit. Sorry, the group has what is called
a sperm Racing Professional Sperm Analysis Kit to measure it.
And Maris, I think you saw video of this, Yeah
I did too. It's insane for the tracks. I didn't

(09:44):
realize they were getting paid to prep for the race. Yes,
all right, guys, push ups. What are we eating? Lots
of fruit, lots.

Speaker 6 (09:53):
Of the millionaires they hit up for this and we
went into their decision making.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Apparently very bored and just money to throw in. Yeah,
I would speak.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
To you, homeless population, get wrecked.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
Focused on sperm right now.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
They've built a microscopic racetrack that mimics the reproductive system,
which includes chemical signals, fluid dynamics, and synchronized starts. So
that that was the interesting part for me because.

Speaker 4 (10:18):
You're as you're watching the beginning of the race, you're
just seeing the sperms just go and circles craze.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
It's like there's a que and they're just a synchronized
start or a synchronized finish.

Speaker 3 (10:31):
I see what you did there.

Speaker 5 (10:33):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (10:34):
You can also bet on this, oh of course, and
that's and that's why it's here.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
Awesome, But I just.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
I bet it's going to be a disappointment.

Speaker 4 (10:42):
Oh well, it was a disappointment for the loser because
his swimmers were not swimming.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
Yeah, they looked dead. You see the U c L
A guy was not eating or training properly because the
USC guy, Maria. You'll have to pull it up and
watch the video. It's insane how much the USC one
just goes.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
And finish rcom Yeah, real quick, let me look up
on a work computer super race merits.

Speaker 3 (11:06):
You want to race sperm? That'd be kind of Fun's
got the faster.

Speaker 4 (11:10):
Swimmers sperm, all the things that I thought you would
never ask.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
Michael, it's like a twenty three and send a sample.
Yeah no, no, listen, there should be like a bet
on it. There should be like maybe some concert tickets
or something something we could win.

Speaker 4 (11:31):
You see, you think that the fine folks of the
sperm race community are gonna come to Rock ninety five
to five and say, you two, I bet you we
want to know sure sperm. I don't know, but like
you're younger. In a weird science sense of it all,
it's a good way to like remind men to check
on their health.

Speaker 3 (11:49):
Oh yeah, check on your health.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah yeah, because you want what I took away.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
From that, you want to make sure your swimmers are swimming.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Such a clear message I brought upon so efficiently.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
This is a very tough topic, but coming up next
maybe the toughest one. We've been looking forward to talking
about one hundred, one hundred men versus one gorilla. Who
wins and why? And how?

Speaker 1 (12:17):
I've got so many answers, I have so many thoughts.

Speaker 3 (12:20):
She's worked up about this.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
I'm upset already.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
The debate is on, could one hundred men take on
one single male gorilla?

Speaker 3 (12:35):
Hell?

Speaker 5 (12:35):
No?

Speaker 3 (12:36):
Okay, I also don't think it's feasible.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
Oh wow, you're both wrong.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Yes, they absolutely could one hundred men.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
No, they could take on one hundred oh or one
hundred men could take on the gorilla, but they're not
going to win.

Speaker 4 (12:50):
So I think there's a very specific classification that we
need to figure out.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
We know what a gorilla is. Yes, yes, big, it's strong,
it's very doricle.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
It is an average of five foot six inches in
between three hundred to four hundred and fifty pounds.

Speaker 4 (13:04):
One hundred men could take that can carry four thousand
pounds though.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
Okay, sure, I'm sure that they can carry that much,
not necessarily for long distances.

Speaker 4 (13:14):
Here's my strong When I'm thinking of one hundred men,
I'm not thinking of one hundred NFL players, one hundred
basketball players. I'm thinking that there is that the parameter.
Are we taking our strongest?

Speaker 1 (13:28):
Why not? Why wouldn't we We're gone against a gorilla.

Speaker 3 (13:31):
It's still an average gorilla. Still don't think we win.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
You're so laughably wrong, it's insane. Do you know how
many people? One hundred men is okay? You could take
down a gorilla with six. You want to know why?
Hold down an arm? Hold down in arm? It can't
do anything.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
You can hold my arm down. I'm okay, time out.
Michael can't hold my arm down? Do you know a
hundred of him?

Speaker 5 (13:57):
God?

Speaker 3 (13:58):
Look, here's how one arm. Here's what I'm picturing. How
it going?

Speaker 4 (14:03):
Okay, going, how it's gonna go? You have your hundred
and there's tactics that the men have put together. Gorilla
don't care about tactics. Gorilla's coming through and smashing skulls, tanks.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
Listen, the second someone heads towards the gorilla and gets
close enough, he's just ripping their face off. So it's
just popping off.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
But when you overwhelm them with one hundred men, they
can't You physically can't do it.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
So overwhelming? What are your overwhelming tactics?

Speaker 5 (14:35):
Like?

Speaker 3 (14:35):
What are they doing too?

Speaker 2 (14:36):
So the hundred men rush the gorilla. Some go for
that foot, some go for that foot, some go for
that arm, some go for that arm. You're going to
have that bad boy down in like ten seconds flat
with one hundred men.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
So within this one hundred guys just going at the gorilla.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
Who's going for the kill? What is the kill? How
do you get it down?

Speaker 1 (14:55):
You have one hundred you're just.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Gonna skate, said man. In fact, gorilla is gonna throw
people off like it's not a thing.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
It doesn't have like the Mario Karts, invincibility. Star freaking
Gorilla's gotta go.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
We go through all those men. That's not all works.

Speaker 4 (15:14):
Here's here's what I'm picturing in the chaos of one
hundred men going at said gorilla. Gorilla is gonna get
three or four guys immediately without which is gonna make
other ones back up, and that's going to cause a
human flench.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
So you're wearing men are cowards, some of us, I.

Speaker 4 (15:33):
Mean you're adding that in So yes, if if okay, Michael,
we're in the room, we're probably of the one hundred
we have, we have our orders on how we're attacking
the gorilla. And I see Johnny, Brent, and Dave get
taken out immediately.

Speaker 3 (15:47):
I'm taking a step back. Yeah, they pop their heads
off and they're just bleeding out everywhere. I'm like, I
still know what the goal is.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
Too many video games are watch too many action movies.
This is insane.

Speaker 3 (15:58):
It's a human reaction.

Speaker 4 (15:59):
If I know, oh what our goal is, I'm not
just going to be like, you know what, maybe he's
a little tired now, I'm going to be able to
get through.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
That's not going to be a thing.

Speaker 4 (16:08):
You're in a circle, Okay, you're in a circle.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
Any one hundred men swarming at one time. Gorilla's only
got two eyes, two arms, two legs.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
And if he's doing something over here, and you got
fifty other people over here that he's not even tracking,
they're behind him because he's focused on this other fifty.
You don't think, just by the law of distraction that
you could take that dude down.

Speaker 4 (16:31):
No, because your men are going to get in each
other's way.

Speaker 3 (16:35):
I have a zoo keeper feeding back. Yeah, says a
gorilla could kill multiple people with a few swipes or bites. Sure,
so he could take out three four at a time
just with one swipe.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
Good thing. We have one hundred I don't know, three
or four at a time. Do you know how many.

Speaker 4 (16:50):
Hundred fifty we want to hear from you? Slowly to
one hundred the debate is on.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
And now imagine a two hundred pound man forever time
you count odd.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
Number that's average. Here's my thought.

Speaker 4 (17:04):
Everybody should wear tuxedos so we can make the funerals easier,
because then everyone just lay everybody.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
To rest right afterwards.

Speaker 4 (17:12):
And call it a day accurate eight four four ninety
five fifty.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
Then don't have bons of glass in skin of paper.

Speaker 4 (17:20):
But but the gorilla has the toughest skin, yes, and
very and their their muscle capacity is so much thicker
than ours. So even though you're saying subdue and strangle
and choke, we gotta be able to get into position
without fighting off. So like you're saying, the gorilla is
gonna we're just gonna hold his arms and just be like,

(17:42):
oh okay.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
Nobody's gonna be able to do that. The second three
peoples them off, throw them out sixty you're not gonna
get sixty there because every time you couple come over,
he's gonna knock them off.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
That's again so they can smoky trees.

Speaker 3 (17:59):
Gorillas done. They don't know gorilla trees.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
They are five and three hundred pounds. I am not
saying that they're not very very strong. I'm not saying
they can't do a lot of damage. They totally could.
But they are not invincible tanks. And you have one
hundred men.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
I pay a lot of money for this pay per view.
I wouldn't. I don't want to see all these people.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
I have to sign you guys up for it.

Speaker 3 (18:25):
Nobody's gonna die, just the gorilla. So, I mean, you
know a big deal last week? Easy?

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Oh no, we will die. A lot of people will die.
I don't know, but we're still raining. I guess it's
one gorilla. Yeah, I am not saying it's not strong.
You have one hundred men. You're underestimating how powerful one
hundred men are.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
A lion's bite six fifty psi, a gorilla's byte thirteen
hundred psi.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
And if I'm a gorilla and I'm distracted looking this
way and i got fifty people on my back, I'm screwed.

Speaker 4 (18:58):
It can run twenty five miles an hour eight four four, nine, five,
five ninety five fifty text us your thoughts and one
man or one gorilla versus one hundred men?

Speaker 3 (19:10):
What do you think rock ninety five to five are?

Speaker 4 (19:14):
We're speaking with Gary. We are what Gary? You are
in to for some Nickelback tickets when they come to
the Summer of ninety nine and Beyond festival. But you've
got to answer a trivia question for us. First, Michael,
what do you got for Gary?

Speaker 5 (19:31):
Oh? Boy?

Speaker 1 (19:32):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (19:32):
Who lugi? I guess did Chad Kroger marry in twenty thirteen?

Speaker 1 (19:43):
He was a boy, she was a girl anywhere.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
Well, that's on. Gary, very impressed.

Speaker 5 (19:50):
I'm Canadian.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
We only have like four bands.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
That's so fair. And one of them's Justin Biele. I
was gonna say you hear to go back Beyond Avril?

Speaker 3 (19:58):
Avril? Yeah, there you go. Awesome man, you're going to
see Nickelback.

Speaker 4 (20:01):
Yes, you're gonna be there at Alpine Valley Music Theater
on Friday, July eighteenth. Do you know who you're taking
to this one? That's gonna be a great date night.
Shout your wife out really quick there.

Speaker 3 (20:18):
What's your what's your name?

Speaker 5 (20:20):
Melanie?

Speaker 4 (20:22):
Melanie and Gary are all set to go see nickel
Back on July eighteenth at Alpine Valley Music Theater and
if you want to be there too, get your tickets
at live nation dot com. Now my name five ish
things you almost certainly need to know.

Speaker 3 (20:42):
It's the hell of a community service. I'll tell you
that much. All right, let's get it.

Speaker 1 (20:48):
I love things we all do.

Speaker 4 (20:50):
The real ID deadline is not going to be extended.
May seventh is right around the corner. And if you're
thinking you need a real ID because it is an
enhanced security driver's license that you'll need to fly domestically
or get into a courthouse, get ready to stand in
long lines.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
I heard the lines are real long. They're already long.

Speaker 4 (21:11):
Booking appointments is almost going to be impossible.

Speaker 3 (21:14):
But take this into consideration.

Speaker 4 (21:16):
If you don't have a real ID, when will you
be traveling to?

Speaker 3 (21:20):
You said real ID?

Speaker 4 (21:22):
And if you have a passport, you may not need
to get a real ID right now and you might
be able to wait a second.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
Also text eight four four ninety five fifty.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
If you know exactly how this real idea is improving
security standards.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
It's proving that you were born in America.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
Okay, what did our last I do?

Speaker 3 (21:40):
Do not It is just like a you lived, where
you are? Okay, yep.

Speaker 4 (21:46):
Chicken Stalers are coming back to KFC after a five
year hiatus.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
They are bringing.

Speaker 4 (21:56):
The waffles paired with KFC is classic fried Chicken. Also
coming to KFC are bite sized desserts strawberry and cream peppers.
Oh my goodness, strawberry and cream peppers.

Speaker 3 (22:11):
That sounds like a fun Saturday night on the name fascinating.

Speaker 4 (22:15):
A woman singing karaoke claims that she contracted oral herpes
from a karaoke session.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
She claims to her boyfriend all because.

Speaker 4 (22:24):
She was holding the microphone too close to her mouth.
Shortly after the outing, she developed painful blisters on her lips.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
She now lives with the virus for the rest.

Speaker 4 (22:34):
Of her life, as there is no cure in only
medication to manage.

Speaker 3 (22:38):
I'm using finger quotes microphone. On the bright side, Friday
night of karaoke, she'll.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
Have cold stores and that sucks.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
That's a bright side.

Speaker 4 (22:49):
Well, just it's treatable, super treatable, and eighty eight year
old woman from clear Water, Florida, So you know this
is going to be great. It's facing felony chargers after
a allegedly hitting a seventy seven year old woman on
a mobile scooter with her SUV while in a Sam's
Club parking lot on.

Speaker 3 (23:08):
Hey some attention.

Speaker 4 (23:10):
This all happened at a thirty in the morning, prime
shopping hour for the elderly. The victim was thrown from
her scooter and hospitalized for her injuries. Carolyn, who was
driving the suv, was arrested four hours later and charge
was leaving the scene of a crash involving serious injuries.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Imagine hitting a little old lady and then me was like.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
I'm pacing out from this one.

Speaker 4 (23:34):
Imagine being the older old lady in the situation and
hitting the younger old lady.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
Did you feel something? I'll just keep going, mack.

Speaker 4 (23:42):
And finally, a turtle living in a museum is getting
a new foot built out of legos and a dog harness.
The wood turtle was brought to the Halifax Museum missing
a leg which was causing his shelter drag, and because
of a Lego unit at the museum, one of the
directors was inspired to create a leg with a wheel

(24:04):
from the Lego sets and attached.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
It to a dog harness. And now the little turtle
is as curious as ever. I love that.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
Oh I hope you can't come out of his shell?

Speaker 4 (24:13):
Now where that wasn't cue, that was cute, it was not.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
That's not points worthy. But don't you dare you don't.
It's over by me. Don't do it.

Speaker 4 (24:24):
You don't think crow a gorilla.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
After the passing of a pope, cardinals from around the
globe come to the Vatican and enter a conclave where
they then decide upon the next pope. And when they
have made their decision, white smoke emanates from the chimney.
Until that decision is made, it is black smoke that
doesn't start happening until May seventh.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
We're a little too impatient for that on the morning mosh.
But so we're going.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
To find some smoke for you. Welcome to the Pope
toke cardinals, gentlemen, Do we have our picture Pope?

Speaker 4 (25:11):
Yeah, I'll start with mine. I'm going with Cardinal Peter
Peter Turkson. He's from Ghana and the biggest thing they
drew me to him was he was in a funk band.
He's a rock It's awesome. You can't deny a rocker
as a cardinal.

Speaker 3 (25:24):
Come on now, Yeah, the concerts at the Vatican, you'd.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
Hire Whoopi Goldberg to lead a choir. I can feel it.

Speaker 4 (25:34):
Oh, that's what you want. Yes, you don't want buddy
guy performing, you want.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
I wanted to make a sister, actual friends. That's what
I wanted to do.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
Heard it, Yeah, and I just went right past it.
You're welcome. You're welcome.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
Mike.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
Here you got Peter Bautista pizza ball. Yeah, Peter Battista
pizza Ball.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
In fact, i'd like to I'd like to.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
Yes, and that choice because just once, dear Catholic Church,
maybe we let one pope keep his name, because come on.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
It's amazing. Pizza Bala. Imagine the pizza parties at the Vatican. Fantastic.

Speaker 1 (26:12):
He's a Linian way for us to crust the body
of Christ. Is Jesus stuffed, chrust Jesus. You know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
Whoa Jesus. You will like that she is on a rule.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (26:26):
She's the Latin Patriarch of Jerusalem. He's also known for
handling interfaith tensions in the Holy Land.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
Yes, and my pick is Cardinal Michael Cherney.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
Of the Society of Jesus, because I do love my Jesuits.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
And also because he is seventy.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Eight, and you know, I want I want to be
wondering every time he closed his eyes, is you're talking
with God in person or just in his head.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
I want to know that we're going to come back
and do this again in a couple of years.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
Yeah, and dear listener, we do want to hear your
picks two four, four fifty.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
And if you don't know about them.

Speaker 4 (26:58):
We're going to be exposing you to some of the
other pope candidates. Wow, geez, yikes, Wow, you're going to
be introducing you to some of the other Pope candidates,
like Cardinal Luise Taggle. World Tagle, he's from the Philippines.
He's one of the younger Pope candidates. And it just

(27:21):
took me to a special place when I heard he
was from the Philippines. When you think about blessed Filipino food,
the lumpia, the ponset. Oh, I need this in my life.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yes, change up the communion way first. Absolutely, the body
of Christ is seasoned.

Speaker 3 (27:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
I'm also I liked tag Lay. I think he's like
one of the front runners too. Is Yes, he is,
I will say. On his Wikipedia page it says dubbed
the Asian Francis.

Speaker 1 (27:57):
And that feels amazing.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
Well, my my Turksan was dubbed the African Francis.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
So okay, so we're just talking.

Speaker 4 (28:10):
I didn't want to be on the nose as we
go through the minority candidates about this, just.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
Like, hey, you're different, you're different, You're different.

Speaker 1 (28:18):
You're a regular one.

Speaker 3 (28:20):
You're just like Francis. You're just regular, just.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
A regular Francis. If Pizza Bler could be a saint,
I want to pray to Saint Pizza Bola, Pizza Bala.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
All right, we have to see whether or not we've
chosen a pope.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
Whoa are you? WHOA? Come on now?

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Black?

Speaker 3 (28:56):
Yeah? Sponsored by the Holy Smoke Sausage Company. Don't get
your meat from downstairs?

Speaker 1 (29:05):
Yes there does, Williams. It feels so good to hear paramour.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
Say her name properly. Queen Williams.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
You say her name properly, Empress Williams.

Speaker 3 (29:19):
Got empress me, buddy, I'll up to you.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
No, that sounds wrong. I don't like up to, get
up to, don't put to I don't like any of
that anyway. What are we talking about? Boys?

Speaker 3 (29:31):
Sports? Get excited on the South side.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
I'm pumped.

Speaker 3 (29:37):
No, your team didn't win, but they're gonna look good losing. Hey,
they're not the worst team in the league. They really aren't.

Speaker 4 (29:43):
The Colorado Wackies only have four wins, but that's not
what we're talking about right now.

Speaker 3 (29:49):
Crazy.

Speaker 4 (29:50):
The White Sox just unveiled their new City Connect jerseys,
and I have to say the first ones, the black
and white with the pin stripes with south side across the.

Speaker 3 (29:58):
Chest, clean perfect, exactly what it needed to be.

Speaker 4 (30:02):
And when I saw the red and black, I was like, Oh,
they're just gonna do something boring and branded.

Speaker 3 (30:06):
With the Bulls. But it's sexy.

Speaker 4 (30:08):
It is absolutely amazing, and there's so many different things
built into the jersey and the hat. My favorite part
is the wing Socks logo that's on the hat and
on the shoulders.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
And then the.

Speaker 4 (30:19):
Hidden feature on this jersey that I don't think many
people realized on the neckline. Inside the jersey, it features
all the championship years between the Socks and the Bulls. Wow.
Most recent Bulls championship in ninety six, most recent Socks
championship in five.

Speaker 3 (30:37):
The socks are so bad that they have to pair
things up with the history of the Chicago Bulls.

Speaker 4 (30:44):
And change the look because nobody wants to wear those anymore,
exactly because they're owned by the same guy I know.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
But okay, I was.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
Gonna say, so, Michael, what do you think about the
City connect jerseys?

Speaker 3 (30:54):
They'd look a lot better in blue, blue, red?

Speaker 4 (30:57):
All right, done with you, We're turning to you because
I have the fashion advice here.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
I have thoughts.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
First of all, I saw someone call them bread jerseys
something like that.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
I want to go with black and red on that one.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
Yeah, but they they said what they said, they said bread,
Yes they did. Don't put your breeding kink out there
like that. Keep that to yourself.

Speaker 1 (31:20):
Second of all, don't we have red Sox? Isn't that
like already a team that's white.

Speaker 3 (31:25):
I'm they didn't do that right.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
So, but here's the thing is, they gave the white
Sox red uniforms. And do you see how like maybe
if you don't follow sports are closely.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
I don't know who doesn't, but like, maybe if you
don't follow sports that closely, there could be a little confusion.

Speaker 3 (31:40):
Did you the sock on the jersey is still white?

Speaker 4 (31:44):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (31:44):
That one very tiny detail. It's not a tiny tail,
there's a dot of white. You can tell that they're
the white.

Speaker 4 (31:50):
Socks because the primary logo on the hat and the
shoulders is a white sock with wings, which is very sexy.

Speaker 2 (31:58):
When I am sitting at the bar, are yes ready
to scream at the tv along with my other beer
drinking friends? And I want to know which team I
root for. I don't ask for the names. I go
what colors are we who we're rooting for? And if
someone said to me the red guys because they're the
white socks, yeah I do that, I would blank stare them.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
Here's the marketing meeting. Hey, guys, nobody's buying our jerseys
because the team can't win any games. What do we
do make them look like Bulls uniforms?

Speaker 2 (32:26):
I mean, they did a fantastic I knew what team
Chicago cares about that used to win.

Speaker 4 (32:31):
But in that same thing, the Bulls just teased us
with a play in and then just left us. I know,
although three years in a row, I'd prefer to see
them on the couch at home and losing against the Cavaliers.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Right now is the eight seeds, so.

Speaker 2 (32:44):
I will also say yes, just at the uniforms in general. Yeah,
hot smash, let's go.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
We got a smash. Read the ball going to be called.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
You know what I'll say. What's a go?

Speaker 4 (32:58):
Cups go eight fifty. I'm text us what you think
about this city? Connect Jerseys, let us know if you
like him. But also, now here's a bit only. I'm
asking a lot right now, and I'm sorry. I just
told you to text.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
Cubs play in Pittsburgh tonight five forty, White Sox host
the Brewers tonight six forty. There, thank you, Mike, I forget.
I'm sorry. Calls back tonight. Baby he is. He is
in his cubby blue and studio right now.

Speaker 4 (33:31):
But right now, let's focus on a Chicago festival like
none other. Riot Fest, three Day Passes up for grabs,
Blink one eighty two, Weezer, Green Day, weird Al, and
so many more. When you play fun to the Head
with us, it's a trivia game where we answer questions
for you and we get shot with a NERF gun
if we get questions wrong. And we have a shooting

(33:53):
assistant today Griffin is in studios to shoot us specifically,
So choose wisely when you call it eight four four
ninety five fifty those riot Fest tickets could be yours
and now.

Speaker 3 (34:07):
Fun to the Head on. Yeah, don't worry, they're using
nerve weapons. Hey are we speaking with Frank?

Speaker 5 (34:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (34:20):
Energy, How a good.

Speaker 5 (34:22):
Morning, Michael? What I would.

Speaker 4 (34:30):
Talk? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (34:30):
I was gonna say if you are you ready?

Speaker 4 (34:32):
But you clearly are ready for Fun to the Head
with three day passes for riot Fest on the line.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
Who do you want to answer trivia questions for you today?

Speaker 5 (34:43):
Man?

Speaker 3 (34:44):
I'm going with this. I'm going Michael. Yeah, you won't
let me down.

Speaker 5 (34:52):
I know you won't.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
Michael, hand over the gun. Hey, yeah, yeah, there you go, Maria,
will you do the honors?

Speaker 4 (35:01):
And we have Griffin in studio as an assistant shooter today,
so I will.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
Get the questions I got, I got? Okay, Can I
ask a question real quick? Frank is? Nobody else can
say anything? I just want to know what Frank thinks.
Who wins in a fight? One man? I'm sorry, one
hundred men or one gorilla? One gorilla?

Speaker 5 (35:28):
Rock? All right?

Speaker 4 (35:30):
Hey, Hey, hey, hey, we got a game. Here we go, Maria,
get the questions? Ready, there we go, Let's go.

Speaker 1 (35:39):
What's the term for a word that is the same
forward and backward.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
Oh how the hell I paid attention in school?

Speaker 1 (35:49):
No, I've never thought that it's just the.

Speaker 4 (35:52):
Same forward and backward. Do we have an example? I
know what you're talking about that I don't know? An
I I no, I don't know like an.

Speaker 5 (36:04):
Frank.

Speaker 3 (36:08):
Okay, now, Griffin, don't be reluctant to shoot. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you gotta put some force into it. It's perfectly fine.
The answer is palindrome. Okay, yeah, I wouldn't have known that.
I thought that was a Star Wars character. Sounds like one.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
You also think thrill It would be one hundred guys.

Speaker 3 (36:29):
Frank and Merritt.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Okay, question all right, we're not getting into that tool
sleep singer.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Yeah, because I'm right Maynard James Cannon is also the
front man for which two other bands one.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
Of the best live shows I ever saw. The band
is called puss Afer and the other one is called
a Perfect Circle. Yeah, singer, well done, Oh, thank you,
proud of Mark. Frank's my man. There you go.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Can I ask Frank the next question.

Speaker 2 (36:55):
To him?

Speaker 3 (36:56):
First?

Speaker 5 (36:57):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (36:58):
Well, okay, does Michael still get shot if he gets
it wrong?

Speaker 5 (37:00):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (37:00):
Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yeah, just to mix things up today, which Nintendo console
released in two thousand and six, introduced motion controlled gaming
to the mainstream.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
Oh, Frank, Yeah, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (37:17):
I think that you Frank.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Yeah, it's all right, Mikey, you take it.

Speaker 5 (37:23):
Good?

Speaker 3 (37:23):
All right, okay, okay, good saved.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
You know, Mikey really does have you down.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
Frank. Yeah, all right, three day riot fest tickets. Man,
let's go. Question four.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
This could win it all for you, Frank, it could happen. Mikey,
What popular snack food?

Speaker 3 (37:43):
Did you shoot yourself in the middle of the question.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
No, just shut it off because I wanted to, you know,
like when you start a race. We're off to the races.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
What popular snack food was originally created as a way
to use up.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
Leftover corn dough then cut into try a goles and fried.
Here's a hint. It's flammable.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
It's a chip, right, Yeah?

Speaker 6 (38:05):
Do I have to?

Speaker 3 (38:06):
Can I just say chips? Be more specific?

Speaker 1 (38:09):
I got brand I did say trying triangle?

Speaker 3 (38:12):
Yep? Okay, Frank, you're going to riot wow?

Speaker 4 (38:21):
Wow, Wow, we got a whole assistant shooter and studio.

Speaker 3 (38:26):
Michael comes through. Well done.

Speaker 4 (38:30):
Yes, Maria still had to I can't let him have it. Yeah, yeah,
that's fair. Frank Man, you got to three day passes.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
So riot something to say, Michael.

Speaker 3 (38:43):
No, frank, who are you excited to see a riot Fest?
The gorilla?

Speaker 1 (38:52):
It won't be killed.

Speaker 5 (38:56):
Honestly, I'm excited to see everybody, but Green Days my favorite.

Speaker 4 (39:00):
There you go there. I got to see Green Day
at Lala a few years ago, but I'm excited to
see them at riot Fest.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
It's going to be amazing.

Speaker 4 (39:07):
And let's not forget the sex pistols, Jack White and
weird Al Yankovic are all going to be there as well.
So make sure you head on over to riotfest dot
org to get your tickets and in just about four minutes,
Rocky will have your next key work for you to
win a thousand dollars. They're learning it's time to dork Out's.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Dork pick little what it is?

Speaker 4 (39:37):
We are talking about movies right now? No, absolutely, both
of you go into your corners. We're talking about movies. Specifically,
we're talking about minecraft movies. Warner Brothers has come out
to say Chicken Jockey. Yes, they are encouraging the chaos,
the rowdiness, the insanity. They are basically setting up sing

(40:00):
along theaters where you can go absolutely crazy.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
That's kind of fun.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
Can they do that for other movies too?

Speaker 3 (40:07):
Which other movies would you like to go crazy in
theater for?

Speaker 1 (40:11):
Definitely, but not limited to Mulahmoush.

Speaker 3 (40:14):
They already do sing along stuff for that.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
Yeah, I know that's what I want, but I want
real sing along.

Speaker 2 (40:18):
I want to be able to go as crazy as
Chicken Jockey and throw things around the theater and have
that be encouraged.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
But I could get into the Elephant for variation so good.

Speaker 3 (40:31):
Sorry, I'm yep, I was gonna say that's a thing already.

Speaker 4 (40:36):
But Warner Brothers and Legendary Pictures invite fans back to
the theaters to experience a Minecraft movie together in a
whole new way. You know the moments, you know the lines,
you love the songs. Now it's time to get loose,
laugh out loud, and belt out those lyrics like true
diamond teer fans. Is this a theater gonna be like
a Dexter's kill room? I'm saying, have the pass.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
I like it a lot because we're trying to get
people back into theaters. Make the theater place people want
to go.

Speaker 4 (41:03):
This is actively very right, hand out ponchos before everybody
comes in there, and then just pay.

Speaker 3 (41:09):
Those ushers a lot more money who have to clean
that one up. But yeah, this will be the hose.
Just come in and spray it down. Actually do the
screening outside there.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
You say more, they say, hire them younger.

Speaker 5 (41:24):
No, not like that, like job.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
Yeah you made it weird. I did not, you did.

Speaker 4 (41:32):
But yes, as we find out more information about where
these screenings will be.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
In just how rowdy they get, we will have updates
for you on.

Speaker 4 (41:38):
Rock ninety five five, along with ninety five minutes commercial free.

Speaker 3 (41:42):
Next in the morning mash ped the.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
Gorilla would lose Axel really knows.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
How to draw out a syllablesod Morning Moshpit on Rock
ninety five five.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
Mikey, what you got?

Speaker 3 (41:52):
Oh my gosh. Bill Belichick's girl friend, Jordan Hudson, twenty
four years old, has shut down an interview where the
interviewer asked about their relationship. Marris, do we have the audio?
We have the audio? How did you guys meet?

Speaker 1 (42:08):
Not talking about this?

Speaker 5 (42:10):
No?

Speaker 3 (42:10):
No, So she's sitting like away from the interview. They're
in two chairs next to each other, like with cameras
set up and she's sort of off in the corner,
and when he asks, she just shuts it down, doesn't
even let him answer. Crazy no, Yeah, that makes me
wonder that why she cares so much. I have questions
because if they just met on a dating site, who cares?
He'd be like, Oh, we're online, we met. You're smiling

(42:30):
way too much. Now what do you gots?

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Oh? I wonder how the twenty four year old beautiful
woman met the very rich old guy.

Speaker 3 (42:38):
What in my stream forty eight year age gap.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
I bet she loves to escort him to and fro
wow his events and be on red carpets, and I
get it.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
So here's the thing. If allegedly this is true, y'all
have been together for over a year now, you've had
time to come up with a story. You've had time like, oh,
we met on an app and then this happened. This happened,
this happened.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
But to shut it down, too many people that would investigate.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
She's a twenty four year old former Bridgewater State University
cheer captain, so a pro a professional. I beg to
say I'm investigating more now that she doesn't want to
talk about it.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
They were going to get investigated anyway, So best to
not give a lie of a story that's going to
be immediately discarded and keep it ambiguous by not answering
and being like, oh, but it's misogynistic if you call
me an escort.

Speaker 3 (43:32):
Can I hear her tone one more time? I think
her tone says a lot. I'm just like, how did
you guys meet?

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Not talking about those?

Speaker 3 (43:41):
Doesn't she so mad?

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (43:42):
Yeah, she sounds like there's something more there.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
She seems to be mad that the reporter is asking
juice your more kind of tabloidy questions.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
That's not a juicy question exactly, Like, it's a pretty
standard one.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
So how much is too much for an age gap? Maria?
What do you think?

Speaker 2 (43:58):
I don't know if it's how much just too much?
I think it's when does the age gap start? Her
frontal lobe isn't developed yet, which kind of makes me
a little bit impressed by her, Like, damn, girl, he
got this millionaire?

Speaker 1 (44:12):
Is he a billion? How you cant this millionaire?

Speaker 4 (44:17):
He's very well off and we'll be taken care of
the rest of his life if he goes anywhere around
Boston on a leash.

Speaker 1 (44:24):
Before your frontal Lobe is even developed. She's going to
be incredible.

Speaker 3 (44:28):
Bill Belichick is worth an estimated seventy million dollars, only
seventy I thought it was going to be a few
hundred million.

Speaker 4 (44:34):
But he's also a coach, and if he can get
the North Carolina program into a championship, he's set for life.

Speaker 3 (44:42):
I think twenty five years is the cutoff. Yeah, if
you're fifty to thirty five something like that, who cares.
But listen, this is for this almost fifty years.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
What do you mean? They probably have so much in common?

Speaker 3 (44:52):
What do I talk about?

Speaker 2 (44:53):
She didn't even know about his money, him craft, and
he has such a dazzling personality, as was showcased by
that interview, So what's not to fall.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
In love with?

Speaker 4 (45:03):
Actually, Bill's funny when he's on the sports broadcast and
he's like just so sexy? Is that?

Speaker 3 (45:10):
Is that how you feel?

Speaker 1 (45:11):
He's so hot?

Speaker 4 (45:12):
Eight four four, ninety five fifty? What do you think
is going on with this relationship?

Speaker 5 (45:17):
Here?

Speaker 4 (45:17):
As we continue ninety five minutes commercial free on Rock
ninety five to five.

Speaker 3 (45:23):
Rock ninety five five, Chicago's rock station, why are you saying,
because we were talking about the Bill Belichick girlfriend relationship.
And I said that I was fine with a twenty
five year age gap. I think that's fine. And I said,
you know, if someone's fifty and then thirty five, well
the text messages have went wild from the two one
nine fifty to thirty five is fifteen years, dumbass?

Speaker 2 (45:41):
All right, you want to know how I knowe that
you're bad at math because you think that one gorilla
could take on one hundred and nine.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
That's ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (45:51):
All this, who physically can't A rock report coming up
in just no minutes? Now, oh, right now, right now,
what's happening? Now, let's rock report this thing? I okay,
we're professionals. The Lincoln Park.

Speaker 4 (46:06):
Show is looking to be unbelievable, right, I counted up
earlier the amount of songs that they played in Austin
last night was forty six songs.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
Oh different, But here's the thing. Here's what they're doing.
There's different acts, so act one, Act two, Act three,
Act four, and then inside these acts it's more like
a like a DJ set, so you'll have in the end,
but then you'll have like a line from fortnight. Wait,
what's the what was this? Vapop?

Speaker 1 (46:37):
Fortnite?

Speaker 3 (46:40):
Mike to Notoa had a hip hop group. I don't
know if it's still a thing, but called still. What
they're doing is that I remember the name mixing all
these songs together. It's entitled the song here Listening PTE
you guys.

Speaker 4 (46:51):
But also different intros, like when they play the New
Divide they use the Moscow intro. So it's looking very
cool that when you go see them, it's going to
be all the stuff we love, but then rem in
a fun way that makes it more interesting.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
So I love that.

Speaker 4 (47:04):
Yeah, because when you go to a show, you often
are like, how is this live performance going to enhance
what I've already been listening to on repeat for years?

Speaker 3 (47:15):
And they're giving us that and that I love that
creativity and think about the production value. I mean, link
sing Link Park a couple of times. They're always sound amazing,
look amazing.

Speaker 5 (47:23):
I know.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
And I am such a fangirl for Emily Armstrong's vocals.
I just think she's such an incredible vocalist.

Speaker 3 (47:29):
Have we all heard the new song on check?

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Yes, dude, god, and I was pumped about Heavy as
the Crown.

Speaker 3 (47:36):
Oh my god. Yeah, they're saying Lincoln Park is now
more popular with Emily than they were to Chester.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
That can't be real already, It's.

Speaker 3 (47:44):
Got to be relatives are different. What I'll say is
we had a lot of time to miss Lincoln.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
Park and they had a lot of legacy build up.

Speaker 4 (47:53):
Yeah, so there's all the kids on TikTok who are
learning about Lincoln Park and now they're back with a
new front.

Speaker 3 (47:59):
So there's a resurgence happening. Yeah, Pearl Jam are responding
to Soundgarden's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. In
case you don't know, the drummer for Pearl Jam was
the drummer for Soundgarden Cool. His name's Matt Cameron, so
he's technically getting inducted nice and still playing for Pearl
Jam tonight in I think Atlanta. And then this is interesting.
Mayor James Keenan was accidentally buried alive while filming a

(48:21):
video in promotion for their current tour. They filmed a
video which featured him emerging from a grave. Here's what happened.
They put him into the ground, they buried him and
left a straw in his mouth so he could breathe.
They got ready to film everything, then they have to
pull the straw out of his mouth because obviously you
wanted to look real, and the cameraman, like a moron, goes, oh,
I forgot to change the battery. Battery's dead in the camera.

(48:41):
So he turns around starts getting into his case. Meanwhile,
Maynard is underground just they had to grab it, pull
him out, dig him out real quick, and he almost
went out. That's terrible.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
I feel like that's how I'm gonna die. Me and Mike,
You're gonna be out shooting something.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
It's gonna be exactly that, and Michael's gonna be like,
oh no, I forgot charge.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
She's gonna go and then I'm gonna die.

Speaker 5 (49:02):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
Okay, if only there was something you had to like
dig himself out like a like a tool a.

Speaker 3 (49:09):
Does she get a bell for that? I kind of
like it.

Speaker 1 (49:12):
You've been really withholding points today.

Speaker 3 (49:14):
I mean, it wasn't a perfect circle.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Do you have a headache or something?

Speaker 3 (49:17):
Almost got there? Okay, Michael, here we go. Wow. Wow,
that's your rock report. Find out everything at rock nine
five five chi dot com. This eight four fifty text
time coming up and somebody's gonna win Coheed tickets just right.
All you gotta do is text us, Maria, what do
you got?

Speaker 2 (49:37):
Yeah, put a positive spin on the newsadlines, hookay, corporate chills.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
You get what you pay for. Welcome to Bad Newsbears.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
Before dead including children after car crashes into after school camp.

Speaker 3 (49:51):
Geez, I didn't think it was gonna get worse, and
then it did.

Speaker 2 (49:56):
Historic one hundred and thirty year old church goes up
in flames.

Speaker 1 (50:02):
But was the smoke white or black? Do we have
a pope?

Speaker 5 (50:05):
No?

Speaker 4 (50:05):
No? Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
In a completely unrelated instant, pastor arrested on human sex
trafficking charge.

Speaker 3 (50:13):
I love how you prefaced ahead of time.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
He rescue group uses quacking sounds to find missing ducklings.

Speaker 1 (50:21):
After mother hit my car.

Speaker 3 (50:24):
But did they find.

Speaker 5 (50:27):
It?

Speaker 1 (50:27):
Doesn't say.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
And our final Bad News Bears headline, scientists prove one
hundred men could absolutely beat a gorilla. It is absolutely
ridiculous that this is even an argument.

Speaker 3 (50:40):
We're still doing this, huh.

Speaker 4 (50:41):
And in other news, Rocky is on his way with
a surefire thousand dollars for you with the next keyword
on the way.

Speaker 3 (50:48):
Gorilla answers coming up in text time. By the way,
it's not an answer. Everybody has an opinion on this. Yeah,
they do. I can't wait to hear all of these.

Speaker 4 (50:55):
A gorilla would scalp a hunt, not even a little bit,
Come on, not even a little bit.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
One hundred men.

Speaker 3 (51:01):
Eight four four ninety five fifty. What do you think
Mikey doesn't know his number? I can't tell you how
excited I am for text time right now?

Speaker 4 (51:14):
Yeah, eight four four five ninety five fifty on the
most unhind show we've had in a while. The text
have been off the chain. And thank you, we love
you being a part of this show. Michael, Oh is
that me?

Speaker 1 (51:28):
That's you?

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Eight four four ninety five fifty. You can always text us.
We'd love to hear from you. And over three hundred
texts during the show today. Wow, they could take three
gorillas crazy, how dare you? Most of these are up
to out bail. Earlier in the show, we were discussing
who would win one gorilla versus one hundred men. Tom says,

(51:54):
one hundred men against one gorilla. I think the gorilla
would win because that's a wild animal and his instinct
start to kill. He's stronger and more agile and can
move a lot faster than most of the humans.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
Yes, his instincts are to kill unlike humans who are
notoriously peaceful creatures.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
That's a good voy Keep going, Michael, I like these
texted as out Merrit from the eight four to seven.
If you allow me to wear my knuckle dusters, I'll
go one versus one on the gorilla. I got your back, Maria.
People are soft.

Speaker 5 (52:24):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (52:25):
Also is a knuckle duster duster that's brass knuckles. Oh,
thank you for going one v one to prove a
point that you won't make it ten seconds on this gorilla.
I'd like to watch that. I still think there should
be a pay per view. By the way, idea can
I say this? Can I say my idea for it?

Speaker 5 (52:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (52:41):
If you take guys who are on death row, no,
this is how they get out.

Speaker 5 (52:46):
You can't.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
You actually can't tea never mind.

Speaker 4 (52:48):
You actively want to work with Arkham Asylum and I
don't appreciate.

Speaker 3 (52:51):
Are you saying this would turn the city into Batman? Yes,
we already live in Gotham from the seven seven three.
If this were to go down, we would have one
hundred a one hundred man meat puzzle at the.

Speaker 5 (53:03):
End of it.

Speaker 1 (53:05):
Why do we think that gorillas are invincible? Donkey kongcrete tracks.

Speaker 3 (53:09):
He said they're invincible.

Speaker 4 (53:10):
It's the way that I keep picturing it, Like if
I'm fighting, Michael, I know what I'm getting into because
I'm fighting another cuban.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
Easy fight for you. You'd killed me. You've got reach.

Speaker 4 (53:22):
That's it.

Speaker 3 (53:23):
That's it. But like the muscle density, the tough skin.

Speaker 2 (53:30):
Yeah, it's just strength, power, the fatigue, so that humans
our persistence, predators, we run down our prey.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
I will give you fatigue, but it's also fear. At
a certain point.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
We can't do this right now. Now we have a
winner to pick. We got to get through these taxes.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
From the seven four to six. The first man to
run up on a gorilla is going to immediately get scalped. Okay,
and the other ninety nine we'll turn into witnesses and
track stars.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
All right, So I guess dudes are just cowards and
everyone's going to run from the fight.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
Hold on, I have a hundred men.

Speaker 4 (54:03):
I'm flipping the script. I am flipping the script. One
hundred women versus a female gorilla.

Speaker 1 (54:09):
That's a argument.

Speaker 3 (54:10):
Go now, that wouldn't even be close.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
It's not the argument. That's not the argument we're making.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
I'm flipping it. You can't.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
You're just you're not flipping it. You're just making a
totally different argument. Yes, Also, who's to say the gorilla
doesn't get scared and run away?

Speaker 3 (54:23):
Amen to that?

Speaker 5 (54:24):
Right?

Speaker 1 (54:25):
Like you can scare off bears, you go, you go,
ah to a bear that's six times your size.

Speaker 3 (54:31):
Still runs away.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
You're telling me a gorilla is not also going to
run away from one hundred men descending upon it.

Speaker 3 (54:37):
Anybody know how to scare a bear off?

Speaker 4 (54:39):
Here you go?

Speaker 1 (54:40):
Anybody named I do?

Speaker 5 (54:44):
You go?

Speaker 3 (54:44):
Hey, bear Maria?

Speaker 5 (54:45):
What what?

Speaker 4 (54:46):
Anybody named bear Mason? I do know how to scare
a bear off? If you bring bear mace with you,
you can't bring it to work, okay? And if it
goes off as the work, you're going to have a
meeting with HR. That's all here that it makes a
great studio Air Freshener.

Speaker 3 (55:04):
Let's go to the Let's do who's the winner? Tom? Tom? Tom?
What was Tom's text? One hundred men versus one gorilla?
I think the gorilla would win because that's a wild animal.

Speaker 4 (55:15):
Names with your side of the argument, you're going to
cohet Tom, Congratlie, congrats Tom.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
Yeah, I'm happy for you, Tom, Now, what if there
are one hundred sandmen, oh boy, versus the gorilla?

Speaker 4 (55:32):
All right, now you're getting into like things that we
can't quantify.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
What about one What about a thousand dragons versus one man?
Dragons are gonna win? Okay? Is this a wizard that
we're talking about?

Speaker 1 (55:48):
Like? What what about a knife versus a thousand guns?

Speaker 3 (55:53):
I like that one? Okay? What's the knife made up?

Speaker 5 (55:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (55:55):
It's true? And talking about this is.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
What you guys sounded like today's This is what you
sounded like to me. Gorilla would win, the one hundred
men would win. Sheer numbers. That is a full like.

Speaker 3 (56:10):
I think your only move is if you can run
him around enough to tire him out.

Speaker 1 (56:15):
But it is a very good tactic.

Speaker 4 (56:17):
This is actively a conversation of quality versus quantity, and quality.

Speaker 3 (56:21):
Wins this way.

Speaker 1 (56:22):
Hey, I got bad and good news.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
We're absolutely going to be discussing this at First Day
Live Oh yeah.

Speaker 6 (56:27):
Island in Gianna Buzzy Line Brewing Company from five to seven,
and what was scheduled to be a fifteen minute live podcast,
we increase the time that's going to be longer because
we need to discuss this with you, dear listener, two
days away, and honestly we need to discuss it with the.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
Help of bever reginos. Oh lord, yes, I need an
alcoholic beverage and I need to have this argument. You
think you've seen the forehead vein back bus. Oh, the
vein is going to be bulge.

Speaker 4 (56:54):
And I'm going to give you my blood pressure medication
for that day because I don't need that much go out. Yeah,
I'm so for reference. When Maria gets very excited about anything,
animated about whatever, it could be.

Speaker 3 (57:08):
Good or sometimes just very hot. Hey, if you have
a gorilla, bring it.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
What to say is that my forehead comes out. But anyway,
we're on to Michael's top.

Speaker 4 (57:19):
Now she has a forehead vede that pops out. But
why do you want a gorilla on site?

Speaker 3 (57:23):
It Thursday? Wow, we probably got one hundred people there.
I really want to see this go down.

Speaker 4 (57:28):
Actually, you know what, thanks for sacrificing yourself for the
sake of studies.

Speaker 3 (57:33):
Yeah, the girl won't even try with me.

Speaker 1 (57:37):
We don't stop him.

Speaker 2 (57:38):
Now with the gorilla, he's going to join the human
versus robot war on the side of the robots.

Speaker 3 (57:43):
I'm going to Lincoln Park Zoo today. I'm gonna find
me a gorilla, please, don't.

Speaker 2 (57:46):
Are you going to sing numb at them? Yes, Lincoln
Park Zoo. Anyway, he is, I didn't even look at
the playlist, didn't you. No, I guess, just feel it,
and typically what I feel and into it is correct,
like the fact that one hundred men absolutely take on

(58:07):
are sing

Speaker 3 (58:08):
This ad Thursday and we will see you tomorrow.