December 6, 2020 • 29 mins
In this episode Terence discusses the striking similarities between the dynamics in an abusive relationship and how Black Americans are treated in America.
The battle for power and control has been a fabric of American society since its inception and Blacks have been fighting for equal standing and opportunity throughout the history of America.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:04):
I could do to do all came a long way.
And I could doI could do all I can do.
I'm not afraid of the moment I'mnot afraid
to show get up in the morning.
Hi guys.
Terence Shigg (00:31):
Welcome back to the peace project by Terence
Shigg.
Today we're going to bediscussing
what I have termed thatblack Americans are in a, an
abusive relationship withAmerica.
And I'll go into depth and I'llexplain why I believe that and
(00:54):
what we need to do to get out ofit. I'll be right back after
this message and
Dwayne E. Shigg (00:59):
we'll get into get into the topic for today.
Let your legacy begin todaydrink mongoose water. mongoose
water gets his name fromlegendary Light Heavyweight
Champion Archie Moore. He wascalled the mongoose because of
his agility and stamina. Do youhave trouble staying hydrated
and energized during yourworkouts? Does it always seem
like you're thirsty, triedmongoose water, it is refreshing
(01:23):
and rejuvenating. It has analkaline level of 8.5 to 9.5
training like the best drink thebest mongoose water coming soon
to a store near you go toWWW.mongoosewater.com. That's
www.mongoosewater.com. Okay,we're back. And today's topic,
Terence Shigg (01:48):
like I said before is I believe that black
people are in an abusiverelationship with America.
And first of all, I guess I haveto say that I am not trying to
minimize abusive relationshipsand those that are in them. I'm
(02:09):
not trying to make light ofthem, I'm not trying to, to
minimize them. Those are theseare serious situations that
safety, mental and physicalsafety of all people involved
should be a priority. And thoserelationships that don't have
that type of bond and agreementneed work to achieve that and
(02:33):
accomplished. So I'll say thatfrom my therapy with my therapy
hat on, I'll put it that way.
So why would I say somethinglike that, that black people are
in an abusive relationship withAmerica and in even saying it,
it's still it's difficult to, toget out because I know there's
gonna be those out there thatare gonna have a have a fit,
(02:55):
because someone is comparingthis but
think about it. Think thinkabout what that means. And you
can go online, you can see allthe power and control wheel the
rules of abuse. And I used toteach a anger management class
or domestic violence class wheremen specifically were mandated
(03:17):
into this course to learn aboutabusive relationships. And the
premise was that if they learnedabout it, and they learn better
communication skills and copingmechanisms, that it would
decrease the probability, thesethings reoccurring within their
relationships.
(03:38):
And now, that wasn't themission, you know, according to
the county that sent them to usor the judge. But the way that I
saw it, that was my mission, itwasn't to, to absolve them from
what they've done. It wasn't togive them an excuse, and help
them justify doing it in thefuture. It was really to give
(03:59):
them information and help themto develop their compassion and
their empathy and theircommunication skills and their
ability to problem solve, alongwith coping skills so that they
could better handle whateversituation came in the future.
And I know one of the things Ireally learned from teaching
(04:20):
that class from the individualsfrom the men that came to my
class was that this wassomething that affected people
across all spectrums ofof life. So you had veterans,
you had teachers, you havebusinessmen, you had
entrepreneurs, you had black,white, Asian, Hispanic, you had
(04:42):
every every segment of Americathat you could think about that
exists, would be in that classat one point or another. The
highly educated the minimallyeducated, the highest
to graduate the PhD, I mean,every group that you can think
(05:04):
of, as far as males came throughthat course. And I really
learned that it was a process,it took them a while to let go
of their defenses, before theycan actually even take in the
information that, that I wastrying to give to them that I
was trying to teach them. And Ithink the great thing about the
(05:27):
class is what everybody startedat a different time. So it
wasn't like, Okay, everybody,day one is the first class and
then the 52nd class, everybodyleaves when we start a new, no,
you had people that be theirfirst class, and then some
people would be their 26thclass, and some people would be
their fifth class. So it was alittle bit it was a mixture. And
(05:49):
the thing about that, that thatproduced was it produced an
environment of people are atdifferent stages of development
within one classroom.
We say that, again, you hadpeople of different stages of
development, one classroom, soyou have people that weren't in
there that were still, I didn'tdo anything wrong, she set me
(06:14):
up. This is just the way, youknow, society thinks that men
are so the judge didn't like me,everything you could think of,
to some at the end, were able toaccept their piece of
responsibility for what hadhappened, and had the skills and
knowledge to minimize thechances that it would happen
(06:36):
again.
And there was this shiftthroughout the class throughout
the course, that you could seethem start to, to let go of that
defensiveness, defensiveness andaccept, okay, I do have some
power in this situation.
So now let's, let's take thatmicrocosm, that small class of
(06:58):
10, to 10, to 12 people. Andlet's blow that up into millions
of people. Right now we have asociety. And we have black
people in America, that are indifferent stages of development,
(07:19):
different stages of acceptance,different stages of belief,
different stages ofdefensiveness, and different
stages of action.
But I submit to you that all ofall of us are in the throes of
an abusive relationship.
(07:39):
All of us have been blamed forour own shortcomings, or the
shortcomings of society at onepoint or another in the history
of this country, be it slavery,or Jim Crow laws, or you, your
people need to take care of eachother and stop killing each
other before you can say thatblack lives matter. That's to me
(08:03):
is a sense of blaming, blamingblack people for
exclusively for their ownproblems. Now, I'm not saying
there's difference betweentaking responsibility and being
blamed for so we can discussthat later, being humiliated by
your aggressor, I'll say. Andthat comes in the form of being
(08:27):
less than it was even writteninto the constitution at one
point that we were less than afull human being. So the history
of this country has done all ofthese abusive things to us. One
of the other signs of an abusiverelationship is control to your
access to money.
So think about it.
(08:48):
If there are rules in place tosay that it's more difficult for
you to obtain the resources, andthe loans or whatever it is
needed to start your ownbusiness to grow your own
business, if, as a people, weare charged more an interest
rate, as a people our credit iswere deemed less credit worthy
(09:10):
in the neighborhoods that welive in, are less credit worthy.
So therefore, there are lessinvestments in those
communities, those communitiesthen
isn't, in essence, our controlto the access of money being
being controlled, meaning ourability to access those
resources being controlled.
(09:32):
So a lot of these thingsthat are indicative of an
abusive relationship applyto us as black Americans.
And apply.
Just like I talked about thatmicrocosm and that small group
that was in different stages.
We're in different stages, too.
(09:55):
So some of us are in the denialstage to say that no, this isn't
happening.
That, we just need to, you know,pull ourselves up from our
bootstraps, and we need to getout there and do everything our
do it on our own, just like ourcounterparts are doing out
there, we just need to be betterand take care of ourselves and
stop doing this and stop. Okay,you can make that argument.
(10:22):
And then there's others in thatstage of, Okay, I see the
systemic things that haveoccurred and that are occurring.
And I need to, I need to knowthe rules of the game, I need to
learn more and educate myselfmore so that I can, I can
mitigate those things that arebeing used against me, because
(10:43):
there are things that are beingused against you.
And then that final stage isthere are those that have said,
Okay, I take responsibility formy portion of it for the
decisions that I've made thathave inhibited me from being
successful from being aproductive member of society.
And I have now educated to knowthat there are things that were
(11:05):
put in place,specifically to hinder me from
recognizing and achieving thosethings.
And with my new skills, and mynew abilities, this is going to
allow me to move forward. Andthat's that, that other that
final stage. And that finalstage is always up to us,
(11:28):
meaning we take the information,but what you do with it, is
totally up to you.
You can take that informationand say that all white people
are horrible, and they're bad,and they're evil. Or you can
take that information and goOkay, I'm going to take
responsibility, so that I knowthat I will have control over my
(11:52):
life, and I can teach mychildren to, to be in control of
their lives. And I can give theman environment that will teach
them what it looks like to be incontrol. And no matter what
systems are out there, if youknow the rules, then you can
mitigate the things that inhibityou from being successful in
(12:14):
those in those environments. Andthat's, that's what it's about.
And that, to me is what thiswhole piece project is about.
It's about taking, takingcontrol, and being educated and
taking action, then all thesedifferent areas that are
targeted at upliftingblack people,
(12:39):
communities, and all peopleeventually, because as I said at
the beginning, I am specificallyspeaking and talking about
something that I believe willhelp black people specifically.
But the rules and principles ofthis do not just apply to black
people, they apply to indigenouspeople, Latin people.
(13:04):
And it applies to Asian people,white people, anybody can use
these principles. I'm justsaying that right now I'm
speaking specifically for thegroup that I am a part of, in a
in a way that I hope will helpto uplift them and bring us into
an equal ground so that we canhelp others and lift other
(13:27):
people up.
So and the reminder that the thepeace project includes not only
part of politics, but individualresponsibility, educational
component, a community componentand an economic component. And
so if you look at all of thosepieces within this, this realm
(13:49):
of an abusive relationship andhow you get out of it, you have
to kind of break it down, justlike I've learned. And I learned
over the years of taking thoseclasses is that those
who are in those types ofrelationships,
be it the abuser or the personthat is being abused.
(14:14):
Seeing that relationship assomething that is
I don't know if the right wordis benefit beneficial to them,
but it fulfills something forthem.
And I know you say well, howcould being in an abusive
relationship benefit anyone inany way? Well, there's many
(14:35):
different ways psychologically,if you think about it, there's a
sense ofnot necessarily a sense of
comfort, but a sense of knowingmeaning there's a cycle to these
things, and there's a sense ofcomfort and knowing what is
going to occur. So these typesof relationship provide for both
sides.
(15:00):
adds a level ofnot just comfort but a level of
knowing and then a level of, ofassurance that, okay, this is
what I'm used to, and this iswhat's going to happen, and it's
going to continue to repeat. Sothere's a level of comfort in
knowing the system and knowingwhat happens, whether you agree
(15:23):
with it or not. And that's thesame thing, what we're, we're
talking about from a nationalstandpoint is, you know, this
system, you may not know therules, but you know, what to
expect, you know, that in you, Ishould say, you think you know
what to expect, and you have a,an expectation that is fulfilled
(15:46):
in each time that these thingsoccur.
Unknown (15:56):
And I'll say that for black Americans is that, that
fulfillment of things are, okay,this is how America thinks of
us. And therefore, I can't getahead because they have put
these systems in placespecifically for to keep me from
to keep me down. That's thatwhole the man mentality, the
(16:18):
man's done this demands on that,there's a level of comfort in
that because there's a level of,and that's, I think, it's a
piece of it, don't get me wrong,I'm not saying that's, that's
all of it, but there's a piecethat gives gives some of us an
excuse to say that, okay, I'm, Ididn't get that job because
Terence Shigg (16:41):
of my, because I'm black, and that person
doesn't like black people.
Without the responsibility togo, Okay, I didn't get that job.
Because I'm black, my persondoesn't like black people. But I
can create my own job, where Icontrol what I have, and what my
income is, by learning the gameof business and entrepreneurs by
(17:02):
learning, accounting, andresources by learning these
things, yes, they, they, it maybe more difficult for you. But
that is not an excuse not to goout there and do it because once
you do it, then you're going tomake it easier for that next
person to do it.
So breaking this cycle of abuseis part awareness, part,
(17:26):
education, and part action. Sothe awareness is recognizing
that this is what this system isdoing to us that this system is
giving us aand it's it's weird to say it
this way, but a false sense ofsecurity, because that sense of
security and knowing what howthis system is set against you
gives you an excuse not to tryyour hardest
(17:52):
to break that system. So part ofthe awareness is recognizing
that even if these things, thesesystems aren't in place, to
hinder your ability to getahead,
that there are still things thatyou can do to get ahead and make
it easier for the next personthat will break that cycle and
break that system down so thatthose things are no longer
(18:15):
issues. And that's been donethroughout history. That's what
the civil rights movement was.
That's what the voter ID, thevoter laws were the Voter
Registration Act, that's whatthose things did. They broke
that cycle of laws that hinderedblack people, other people from
exercising a right. So thatstruggle continues. And we still
(18:39):
have to continue to do that.
In order to do that, you have tohave the awareness that it does
exist. And I guess that's thething that frustrates me more
than anything else in this inthis time is that there are
those that do not believe thatthese things exist. And, and so
(18:59):
to me, they're in that firststage of, of denial, meaning
this doesn't sit with what Ialready believe, and therefore
I'm gonna dismiss it. And I'monly gonna listen to the
information that that fits withwhat I already believe in,
there's no growth in that, thatplace. There's just frustration
(19:21):
and sadness and depression andanger because there's no,
there's no new informationgetting in, there's no
challenging your currentbeliefs, there's no growth
because there's no friction. Andso part of it is that awareness
and recognizing that, okay, thisdoes exist and it
to me, it needs to thatawareness not only needs to
(19:44):
happen in the black community,but it also needs to happen in
America that that unifiedawareness that there are systems
in place, not just people inplace, but systems in place that
inhibit bit the growth and theachievement of groups of people.
(20:06):
And once we make that awareness,it's not so that people feel
guilty, it's not so that I canblame you, for whatever
discomfort or have or whateverfailures I have, it's so that we
can come together and work onsolutions. Because if we both
aren't looking at the sameproblem, we can't come up with a
solution that will help both.
(20:28):
And that's where the educationpiece is the education piece is
talking to people about history,not so that we can rewrite
history because this is history,the the, the ability to ignore
certain pieces of history,certain
(20:51):
negative parts of history, suchas what was done to the
indigenous people, such as whatwas done to black people. And
to, to ignore that and tominimize that and say, Okay,
well, that happened to a bunchof people. But that's not,
that's not taking it for whatit's worth, that's kind of like
saying the same thing withpeople in abusive relationships
(21:13):
and saying, well, there's a lotof people that have been abused
that are doing okay, so Buck upand deal with it. No, there has
to be a level of recognition ofOkay, that should not have
happened. That was wrong. AndI'm going to say, and stand with
you and say that was wrong, thatshould not have happened. And
(21:35):
the only way to do that is wehave to recognize what happened
to get that. And not aboutshame, not about guilt, but
about moving forward. And theonly way to move forward is to
recognize where you've been. Andthat's where the education piece
comes in, is re redefining and re evaluating what
we are actually educating eachother with and going out there
(22:00):
and educating yourself aboutyour culture. There's lots of
ways for us as black people togo out there and learn our
history and learn our culture.
So going out there and doingthat, as part of it, be it
getting the DNA test, or goingout in taking a black history
course or getting a book, I'vebeen listening to the Invisible
(22:21):
Man by Ellison. fantastic book,it's fiction, but it has a
powerful point.
If you if you ever get a chanceto, to check it out, it's a good
one. So just these little thingsthat we can do, that are
actually big things and movingus for. So that's that
awareness, and that's thateducation, the action is taking
(22:45):
a step forward to go, Okay, I'mgonna get out of my comfort
zone, and I'm gonna dosomething, something different,
something better something toimprove. And I was talking to
someone the other day, and oneof the things he was saying, he
didn't know anything about moneyand finances and budgeting. So
he said, that's one of thethings that he's going to target
(23:07):
for him and his wife. And alsothe types of things that we can
do is learning more aboutinvestments and learning about
how to get into 401, KS and howto get into the stock market,
learning how to write budgets,those types of things, how to
start businesses, and what kindof businesses are available, and
how to get financing and, andhow to save up if I can't get
(23:28):
financing until I can have atrack record so that I can get
finances, and then how can Ihelp someone else get into this
or educate themselves so thatthey can get better at it. These
are all the things that that wecan do, as a group that will
lift not only us individually,but lift up
(23:50):
black people in general. And soI guess I'm gonna conclude with
with that, and, and justchallenging once again,
challenging.
Everyone out there, not justblack people, but everyone out
there.
I want to challenge you to, tonot only look for information
(24:13):
that backs up what you currentlybelieve.
But to go out there and look forinformation that is different,
that is new, that has adifferent spin on it. And you
don't have to accept it. But youhave to expose yourself to it.
And be listening to people fromother countries or reading
(24:35):
something from another country'sperspective of what we're doing
or another political party'sperspective or talking to
listening to I should say nottalking listening to someone
that has an opposing viewpointto yours. And those are the
types of things that are goingto move us forward because, as a
friend of mine said, We're goingthrough
(24:56):
an election right now that isvery
divided, meaning we're, there'speople on both sides that are
very passionate. So no matterwhat happens, there's going to
be a large portion of peoplethat are going to be
disappointed, upset, frustrated,however you want to put, there's
going to be a group that isgoing to lose, so to speak.
(25:21):
And part of this healing processis going to be how do we take
actionsto heal? Not just ourselves, but
one another? And how do we cometogether? And that is the goal.
And that should always be thegoal is how do we work together
to improve society, to improveeach other's lives, to improve
(25:45):
our lives and our family'slives, for generations to come?
Because it's not just about us,it's about the people that come
after us, be it a family memberor a friend or just a co worker,
how do we make it better forthem so that they don't have to
have the same struggles that wehave today. So I challenge you
to, to do that, to find wayslittle ways to get involved are
(26:11):
big ways to get involved. One ofmines is working at the polling
sites, eventually, it'll begetting into politics. It'll be
starting other locations forchildren to get involved in
something positive, to bementored to learn a skill to
learn something that willimprove their self confidence in
(26:32):
the decision making process, andto have those places all over
the country. So starting thoseplans now, and working them
forward, whatever you can do,get involved and do and help
somebody else. So with all thatsaid, I'm going to sign off now.
I want to thank you forlistening into the peace
(26:54):
project. I want to thank you forchallenging yourself to, to
allow me to speak to you and tolisten to what I'm saying. And
if you have any questions orcomments, please feel free to
send me an email at send me anemail at the original peace
project@gmail.com that'soriginal peace
(27:19):
project@gmail.com.
And until the next podcast, as Ilike to say, let's get to work.
Dwayne E. Shigg (27:39):
Anybody can use foundation teaches our youth to
step off into life with theirbest foot forward without
cowardice but with courage anddignity. ABC was founded by
legendary Light HeavyweightChampion Archie Moore in 1957.
He had a heart and passion forhelping the youth. He believed
if we went into the business ofprevention, we could save
billions of dollars and millionsof lives. He started ABC to
(28:03):
teach us the basic ABCs of life.
Are you concerned about theworld today? Do you want to help
train our youth to be the changeneeded in the world? Join us in
the fight for equality in thefight for justice in the fight
for our youth. If you would liketo help go to www dot abcnews
foundation.org that's www dotABC use foundation.org be well
(28:24):
and be blessed.
Unknown (28:37):
Long Way and not to do what I can do all
I can do.
I'm not afraid of the moment.
I'm not afraidto get up in the morning.
controllers Show me youropponent's coming opponents.
I could do to do all came a long way.
And I could doI could do all I can do.
I'm not afraid of the moment I'mnot afraid
to show get up in the morning.
Hi guys.
Terence Shigg (00:31):
Welcome back to the peace project by Terence
Shigg.
Today we're going to bediscussing
what I have termed thatblack Americans are in a, an
abusive relationship withAmerica.
And I'll go into depth and I'llexplain why I believe that and
(00:54):
what we need to do to get out ofit. I'll be right back after
this message and
Dwayne E. Shigg (00:59):
we'll get into get into the topic for today.
Let your legacy begin todaydrink mongoose water. mongoose
water gets his name fromlegendary Light Heavyweight
Champion Archie Moore. He wascalled the mongoose because of
his agility and stamina. Do youhave trouble staying hydrated
and energized during yourworkouts? Does it always seem
like you're thirsty, triedmongoose water, it is refreshing
(01:23):
and rejuvenating. It has analkaline level of 8.5 to 9.5
training like the best drink thebest mongoose water coming soon
to a store near you go toWWW.mongoosewater.com. That's
www.mongoosewater.com. Okay,we're back. And today's topic,
Terence Shigg (01:48):
like I said before is I believe that black
people are in an abusiverelationship with America.
And first of all, I guess I haveto say that I am not trying to
minimize abusive relationshipsand those that are in them. I'm
(02:09):
not trying to make light ofthem, I'm not trying to, to
minimize them. Those are theseare serious situations that
safety, mental and physicalsafety of all people involved
should be a priority. And thoserelationships that don't have
that type of bond and agreementneed work to achieve that and
(02:33):
accomplished. So I'll say thatfrom my therapy with my therapy
hat on, I'll put it that way.
So why would I say somethinglike that, that black people are
in an abusive relationship withAmerica and in even saying it,
it's still it's difficult to, toget out because I know there's
gonna be those out there thatare gonna have a have a fit,
(02:55):
because someone is comparingthis but
think about it. Think thinkabout what that means. And you
can go online, you can see allthe power and control wheel the
rules of abuse. And I used toteach a anger management class
or domestic violence class wheremen specifically were mandated
(03:17):
into this course to learn aboutabusive relationships. And the
premise was that if they learnedabout it, and they learn better
communication skills and copingmechanisms, that it would
decrease the probability, thesethings reoccurring within their
relationships.
(03:38):
And now, that wasn't themission, you know, according to
the county that sent them to usor the judge. But the way that I
saw it, that was my mission, itwasn't to, to absolve them from
what they've done. It wasn't togive them an excuse, and help
them justify doing it in thefuture. It was really to give
(03:59):
them information and help themto develop their compassion and
their empathy and theircommunication skills and their
ability to problem solve, alongwith coping skills so that they
could better handle whateversituation came in the future.
And I know one of the things Ireally learned from teaching
(04:20):
that class from the individualsfrom the men that came to my
class was that this wassomething that affected people
across all spectrums ofof life. So you had veterans,
you had teachers, you havebusinessmen, you had
entrepreneurs, you had black,white, Asian, Hispanic, you had
(04:42):
every every segment of Americathat you could think about that
exists, would be in that classat one point or another. The
highly educated the minimallyeducated, the highest
to graduate the PhD, I mean,every group that you can think
(05:04):
of, as far as males came throughthat course. And I really
learned that it was a process,it took them a while to let go
of their defenses, before theycan actually even take in the
information that, that I wastrying to give to them that I
was trying to teach them. And Ithink the great thing about the
(05:27):
class is what everybody startedat a different time. So it
wasn't like, Okay, everybody,day one is the first class and
then the 52nd class, everybodyleaves when we start a new, no,
you had people that be theirfirst class, and then some
people would be their 26thclass, and some people would be
their fifth class. So it was alittle bit it was a mixture. And
(05:49):
the thing about that, that thatproduced was it produced an
environment of people are atdifferent stages of development
within one classroom.
We say that, again, you hadpeople of different stages of
development, one classroom, soyou have people that weren't in
there that were still, I didn'tdo anything wrong, she set me
(06:14):
up. This is just the way, youknow, society thinks that men
are so the judge didn't like me,everything you could think of,
to some at the end, were able toaccept their piece of
responsibility for what hadhappened, and had the skills and
knowledge to minimize thechances that it would happen
(06:36):
again.
And there was this shiftthroughout the class throughout
the course, that you could seethem start to, to let go of that
defensiveness, defensiveness andaccept, okay, I do have some
power in this situation.
So now let's, let's take thatmicrocosm, that small class of
(06:58):
10, to 10, to 12 people. Andlet's blow that up into millions
of people. Right now we have asociety. And we have black
people in America, that are indifferent stages of development,
(07:19):
different stages of acceptance,different stages of belief,
different stages ofdefensiveness, and different
stages of action.
But I submit to you that all ofall of us are in the throes of
an abusive relationship.
(07:39):
All of us have been blamed forour own shortcomings, or the
shortcomings of society at onepoint or another in the history
of this country, be it slavery,or Jim Crow laws, or you, your
people need to take care of eachother and stop killing each
other before you can say thatblack lives matter. That's to me
(08:03):
is a sense of blaming, blamingblack people for
exclusively for their ownproblems. Now, I'm not saying
there's difference betweentaking responsibility and being
blamed for so we can discussthat later, being humiliated by
your aggressor, I'll say. Andthat comes in the form of being
(08:27):
less than it was even writteninto the constitution at one
point that we were less than afull human being. So the history
of this country has done all ofthese abusive things to us. One
of the other signs of an abusiverelationship is control to your
access to money.
So think about it.
(08:48):
If there are rules in place tosay that it's more difficult for
you to obtain the resources, andthe loans or whatever it is
needed to start your ownbusiness to grow your own
business, if, as a people, weare charged more an interest
rate, as a people our credit iswere deemed less credit worthy
(09:10):
in the neighborhoods that welive in, are less credit worthy.
So therefore, there are lessinvestments in those
communities, those communitiesthen
isn't, in essence, our controlto the access of money being
being controlled, meaning ourability to access those
resources being controlled.
(09:32):
So a lot of these thingsthat are indicative of an
abusive relationship applyto us as black Americans.
And apply.
Just like I talked about thatmicrocosm and that small group
that was in different stages.
We're in different stages, too.
(09:55):
So some of us are in the denialstage to say that no, this isn't
happening.
That, we just need to, you know,pull ourselves up from our
bootstraps, and we need to getout there and do everything our
do it on our own, just like ourcounterparts are doing out
there, we just need to be betterand take care of ourselves and
stop doing this and stop. Okay,you can make that argument.
(10:22):
And then there's others in thatstage of, Okay, I see the
systemic things that haveoccurred and that are occurring.
And I need to, I need to knowthe rules of the game, I need to
learn more and educate myselfmore so that I can, I can
mitigate those things that arebeing used against me, because
(10:43):
there are things that are beingused against you.
And then that final stage isthere are those that have said,
Okay, I take responsibility formy portion of it for the
decisions that I've made thathave inhibited me from being
successful from being aproductive member of society.
And I have now educated to knowthat there are things that were
(11:05):
put in place,specifically to hinder me from
recognizing and achieving thosethings.
And with my new skills, and mynew abilities, this is going to
allow me to move forward. Andthat's that, that other that
final stage. And that finalstage is always up to us,
(11:28):
meaning we take the information,but what you do with it, is
totally up to you.
You can take that informationand say that all white people
are horrible, and they're bad,and they're evil. Or you can
take that information and goOkay, I'm going to take
responsibility, so that I knowthat I will have control over my
(11:52):
life, and I can teach mychildren to, to be in control of
their lives. And I can give theman environment that will teach
them what it looks like to be incontrol. And no matter what
systems are out there, if youknow the rules, then you can
mitigate the things that inhibityou from being successful in
(12:14):
those in those environments. Andthat's, that's what it's about.
And that, to me is what thiswhole piece project is about.
It's about taking, takingcontrol, and being educated and
taking action, then all thesedifferent areas that are
targeted at upliftingblack people,
(12:39):
communities, and all peopleeventually, because as I said at
the beginning, I am specificallyspeaking and talking about
something that I believe willhelp black people specifically.
But the rules and principles ofthis do not just apply to black
people, they apply to indigenouspeople, Latin people.
(13:04):
And it applies to Asian people,white people, anybody can use
these principles. I'm justsaying that right now I'm
speaking specifically for thegroup that I am a part of, in a
in a way that I hope will helpto uplift them and bring us into
an equal ground so that we canhelp others and lift other
(13:27):
people up.
So and the reminder that the thepeace project includes not only
part of politics, but individualresponsibility, educational
component, a community componentand an economic component. And
so if you look at all of thosepieces within this, this realm
(13:49):
of an abusive relationship andhow you get out of it, you have
to kind of break it down, justlike I've learned. And I learned
over the years of taking thoseclasses is that those
who are in those types ofrelationships,
be it the abuser or the personthat is being abused.
(14:14):
Seeing that relationship assomething that is
I don't know if the right wordis benefit beneficial to them,
but it fulfills something forthem.
And I know you say well, howcould being in an abusive
relationship benefit anyone inany way? Well, there's many
(14:35):
different ways psychologically,if you think about it, there's a
sense ofnot necessarily a sense of
comfort, but a sense of knowingmeaning there's a cycle to these
things, and there's a sense ofcomfort and knowing what is
going to occur. So these typesof relationship provide for both
sides.
(15:00):
adds a level ofnot just comfort but a level of
knowing and then a level of, ofassurance that, okay, this is
what I'm used to, and this iswhat's going to happen, and it's
going to continue to repeat. Sothere's a level of comfort in
knowing the system and knowingwhat happens, whether you agree
(15:23):
with it or not. And that's thesame thing, what we're, we're
talking about from a nationalstandpoint is, you know, this
system, you may not know therules, but you know, what to
expect, you know, that in you, Ishould say, you think you know
what to expect, and you have a,an expectation that is fulfilled
(15:46):
in each time that these thingsoccur.
Unknown (15:56):
And I'll say that for black Americans is that, that
fulfillment of things are, okay,this is how America thinks of
us. And therefore, I can't getahead because they have put
these systems in placespecifically for to keep me from
to keep me down. That's thatwhole the man mentality, the
(16:18):
man's done this demands on that,there's a level of comfort in
that because there's a level of,and that's, I think, it's a
piece of it, don't get me wrong,I'm not saying that's, that's
all of it, but there's a piecethat gives gives some of us an
excuse to say that, okay, I'm, Ididn't get that job because
Terence Shigg (16:41):
of my, because I'm black, and that person
doesn't like black people.
Without the responsibility togo, Okay, I didn't get that job.
Because I'm black, my persondoesn't like black people. But I
can create my own job, where Icontrol what I have, and what my
income is, by learning the gameof business and entrepreneurs by
(17:02):
learning, accounting, andresources by learning these
things, yes, they, they, it maybe more difficult for you. But
that is not an excuse not to goout there and do it because once
you do it, then you're going tomake it easier for that next
person to do it.
So breaking this cycle of abuseis part awareness, part,
(17:26):
education, and part action. Sothe awareness is recognizing
that this is what this system isdoing to us that this system is
giving us aand it's it's weird to say it
this way, but a false sense ofsecurity, because that sense of
security and knowing what howthis system is set against you
gives you an excuse not to tryyour hardest
(17:52):
to break that system. So part ofthe awareness is recognizing
that even if these things, thesesystems aren't in place, to
hinder your ability to getahead,
that there are still things thatyou can do to get ahead and make
it easier for the next personthat will break that cycle and
break that system down so thatthose things are no longer
(18:15):
issues. And that's been donethroughout history. That's what
the civil rights movement was.
That's what the voter ID, thevoter laws were the Voter
Registration Act, that's whatthose things did. They broke
that cycle of laws that hinderedblack people, other people from
exercising a right. So thatstruggle continues. And we still
(18:39):
have to continue to do that.
In order to do that, you have tohave the awareness that it does
exist. And I guess that's thething that frustrates me more
than anything else in this inthis time is that there are
those that do not believe thatthese things exist. And, and so
(18:59):
to me, they're in that firststage of, of denial, meaning
this doesn't sit with what Ialready believe, and therefore
I'm gonna dismiss it. And I'monly gonna listen to the
information that that fits withwhat I already believe in,
there's no growth in that, thatplace. There's just frustration
(19:21):
and sadness and depression andanger because there's no,
there's no new informationgetting in, there's no
challenging your currentbeliefs, there's no growth
because there's no friction. Andso part of it is that awareness
and recognizing that, okay, thisdoes exist and it
to me, it needs to thatawareness not only needs to
(19:44):
happen in the black community,but it also needs to happen in
America that that unifiedawareness that there are systems
in place, not just people inplace, but systems in place that
inhibit bit the growth and theachievement of groups of people.
(20:06):
And once we make that awareness,it's not so that people feel
guilty, it's not so that I canblame you, for whatever
discomfort or have or whateverfailures I have, it's so that we
can come together and work onsolutions. Because if we both
aren't looking at the sameproblem, we can't come up with a
solution that will help both.
(20:28):
And that's where the educationpiece is the education piece is
talking to people about history,not so that we can rewrite
history because this is history,the the, the ability to ignore
certain pieces of history,certain
(20:51):
negative parts of history, suchas what was done to the
indigenous people, such as whatwas done to black people. And
to, to ignore that and tominimize that and say, Okay,
well, that happened to a bunchof people. But that's not,
that's not taking it for whatit's worth, that's kind of like
saying the same thing withpeople in abusive relationships
(21:13):
and saying, well, there's a lotof people that have been abused
that are doing okay, so Buck upand deal with it. No, there has
to be a level of recognition ofOkay, that should not have
happened. That was wrong. AndI'm going to say, and stand with
you and say that was wrong, thatshould not have happened. And
(21:35):
the only way to do that is wehave to recognize what happened
to get that. And not aboutshame, not about guilt, but
about moving forward. And theonly way to move forward is to
recognize where you've been. Andthat's where the education piece
comes in, is re redefining and re evaluating what
we are actually educating eachother with and going out there
(22:00):
and educating yourself aboutyour culture. There's lots of
ways for us as black people togo out there and learn our
history and learn our culture.
So going out there and doingthat, as part of it, be it
getting the DNA test, or goingout in taking a black history
course or getting a book, I'vebeen listening to the Invisible
(22:21):
Man by Ellison. fantastic book,it's fiction, but it has a
powerful point.
If you if you ever get a chanceto, to check it out, it's a good
one. So just these little thingsthat we can do, that are
actually big things and movingus for. So that's that
awareness, and that's thateducation, the action is taking
(22:45):
a step forward to go, Okay, I'mgonna get out of my comfort
zone, and I'm gonna dosomething, something different,
something better something toimprove. And I was talking to
someone the other day, and oneof the things he was saying, he
didn't know anything about moneyand finances and budgeting. So
he said, that's one of thethings that he's going to target
(23:07):
for him and his wife. And alsothe types of things that we can
do is learning more aboutinvestments and learning about
how to get into 401, KS and howto get into the stock market,
learning how to write budgets,those types of things, how to
start businesses, and what kindof businesses are available, and
how to get financing and, andhow to save up if I can't get
(23:28):
financing until I can have atrack record so that I can get
finances, and then how can Ihelp someone else get into this
or educate themselves so thatthey can get better at it. These
are all the things that that wecan do, as a group that will
lift not only us individually,but lift up
(23:50):
black people in general. And soI guess I'm gonna conclude with
with that, and, and justchallenging once again,
challenging.
Everyone out there, not justblack people, but everyone out
there.
I want to challenge you to, tonot only look for information
(24:13):
that backs up what you currentlybelieve.
But to go out there and look forinformation that is different,
that is new, that has adifferent spin on it. And you
don't have to accept it. But youhave to expose yourself to it.
And be listening to people fromother countries or reading
(24:35):
something from another country'sperspective of what we're doing
or another political party'sperspective or talking to
listening to I should say nottalking listening to someone
that has an opposing viewpointto yours. And those are the
types of things that are goingto move us forward because, as a
friend of mine said, We're goingthrough
(24:56):
an election right now that isvery
divided, meaning we're, there'speople on both sides that are
very passionate. So no matterwhat happens, there's going to
be a large portion of peoplethat are going to be
disappointed, upset, frustrated,however you want to put, there's
going to be a group that isgoing to lose, so to speak.
(25:21):
And part of this healing processis going to be how do we take
actionsto heal? Not just ourselves, but
one another? And how do we cometogether? And that is the goal.
And that should always be thegoal is how do we work together
to improve society, to improveeach other's lives, to improve
(25:45):
our lives and our family'slives, for generations to come?
Because it's not just about us,it's about the people that come
after us, be it a family memberor a friend or just a co worker,
how do we make it better forthem so that they don't have to
have the same struggles that wehave today. So I challenge you
to, to do that, to find wayslittle ways to get involved are
(26:11):
big ways to get involved. One ofmines is working at the polling
sites, eventually, it'll begetting into politics. It'll be
starting other locations forchildren to get involved in
something positive, to bementored to learn a skill to
learn something that willimprove their self confidence in
(26:32):
the decision making process, andto have those places all over
the country. So starting thoseplans now, and working them
forward, whatever you can do,get involved and do and help
somebody else. So with all thatsaid, I'm going to sign off now.
I want to thank you forlistening into the peace
(26:54):
project. I want to thank you forchallenging yourself to, to
allow me to speak to you and tolisten to what I'm saying. And
if you have any questions orcomments, please feel free to
send me an email at send me anemail at the original peace
project@gmail.com that'soriginal peace
(27:19):
project@gmail.com.
And until the next podcast, as Ilike to say, let's get to work.
Dwayne E. Shigg (27:39):
Anybody can use foundation teaches our youth to
step off into life with theirbest foot forward without
cowardice but with courage anddignity. ABC was founded by
legendary Light HeavyweightChampion Archie Moore in 1957.
He had a heart and passion forhelping the youth. He believed
if we went into the business ofprevention, we could save
billions of dollars and millionsof lives. He started ABC to
(28:03):
teach us the basic ABCs of life.
Are you concerned about theworld today? Do you want to help
train our youth to be the changeneeded in the world? Join us in
the fight for equality in thefight for justice in the fight
for our youth. If you would liketo help go to www dot abcnews
foundation.org that's www dotABC use foundation.org be well
(28:24):
and be blessed.
Unknown (28:37):
Long Way and not to do what I can do all
I can do.
I'm not afraid of the moment.
I'm not afraidto get up in the morning.
controllers Show me youropponent's coming opponents.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!