April 7, 2025 • 29 mins
Anderson Hirst joins Jessamyn to talk about youth coaching and the positive impacts it can make on young athletes throughout their sport and their lives.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Jesseman McIntyre, your host of Seattle Voice, your
community Voice, presented by iHeartRadio Seattle, and today I am
honored to be speaking with one of my colleagues and
someone I am privileged to call a friend, Anderson Hurst,
who I like to call Anders, but his full name
is Anderson Hurst.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Anders.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Thank you for joining me, Jessmine. I am honored that
you're honored to bring me on, So thank you so
much for bringing me on, and thank you for introducing
me as Anderson. I always introduce myself as Anderson, but
most people call me Andrews, so either one.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
It's fine.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
People like to shorten things, and I don't mind being
called jess and everything, but when someone calls me Jessemine,
I can't tell if I'm like your friend or if
I'm in troll, right, Jessmin, So we obviously the show
is dedicated to the community, and I know that you
have done an absolute ton of work in the youth
soccer community, and I invited you on to talk about that.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yeah, thank you so much. And I don't know if
a ton is the right word. I coach for a
few years.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
That is that's a ton.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
It is a ton.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
And I think that's kind of where we should jump
off today because I have a lot of passion for
not just youth soccer, I think youth sports in general.
I think it's an excellent way for a lot of
kids to have an outlet, whether it's just another thing
to do after school, whether it's a way to get
more friends, whether it's a way to kind of have
a different voice in your life that's your parents or
(01:23):
your teacher. I think that's really really important, or maybe
you're you're in a struggle some situation and you need
something that's just an outlet to do that. So youth
sports are incredibly important for kids, and having a good
leader is something that I think is going a little
bit by the wayside in the last few years, and
(01:43):
as someone who has been a part of that, you know, development,
I coached youth soccer from twenty seventeen through twenty twenty three,
so at about six years I wasn't ever like a
super high level coach, but we I coached Jedi Select
Soccer club where parents would pay for have their kids
practice and play all year round. We would do a
(02:07):
season in the fall, season in the spring, and then
do tournaments in the summertime. Kind of just a way
to show this is, you know what commitment looks like
from a pretty young age. I think the youngest team
we had was nine year olds, so and then it
goes all the way up to your seniors in high
school before you go to college. So that's Emerald City
(02:27):
Football Club. But I kind of want to talk more
about just youth soccer or youth sports coaches in general,
because I think that can have an impact on a
little kid's life in so many different ways, both good
and bad, and it's something that I think doesn't get
talked about very much.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I completely agree, and I can remember the coaches that
had the biggest impact on me. I ended up playing
volleyball in college, but that didn't start there obviously, And
I still remember Merlin, my Haitian club volleyball coach, who
made me run laps after I did dive hard enough
for a ball in.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Practice, not in a game. Not a game, we're talking.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
About practice, we're.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
And I hated that I disappointed him, and it made me,
you know, try harder. He wasn't super hard, I mean
that's I just ran laps and beat me or anything,
but it made me feel more important or more devoted
to my commitment. And also I went to this other
club after other girls quit. I was on one club
(03:31):
and then a bunch of the other girls said they were.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Coming to this club, and then that one.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Dissipated, so I went to this one, and I had
no friends on the team so hard and my parents
told me I made a commitment, and I committed to
this coach. And one time he berated me so hard
and said that he was going to call.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I had already committed to my college. He said he
was going to call.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Is that the kind of player that I'm not going
to say his name that this coach is getting. And
that was the first time I actually had an emotion
about it, because I had a scholarship and everything and
I was going to this college. And then he pulled
me aside and goes, you know I would never do that, okay,
because he saw me get emotional for the first time. Yeah,
And I just went and ran. I did my laps,
(04:14):
but my face dropped.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
So that's an interesting I've never heard that story.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I don't tell you're like the first person that's ever
heard That's cool.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I actually really like that because that goes into a
lot of what can be lost in the weeds and
coaching is how many different styles can work with different
kids and what age you have to read people exactly,
so like a lot of especially we'll get into the
parents side of things in a little bit later, but
that's a whole.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Other aspect of that.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
But yeah, but some kids, you know, they they pick
up from a young age. I'm someone who believes that
kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Agreed,
like big time, they just don't know how to articulate
it as much.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
Maybe.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
But I'm someone who who thinks that, you know, when
coach are treating, you know, one kid different than another kid,
that that can seem like it come off as favoritism.
It can seem like it comes off as, oh, you
you like this person more than you like me, Whereas
I think a lot of it most of the time
happens to be coaches that are using a different coaching
(05:18):
style with one person than another person. I was someone
who needed to be kicked in the butt when I
was when I.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Was playing about that.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Obviously, absolutely, he will tell you the exact same thing.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
He will tell you stories upon stories about Yeah, I
know he does, and we talk each other at every
Sounders broadcast and he's the man. I am still in
touch with him today and that's a great example of
a great coach had in my life. So I can
make a super positive impact. But then you have the
kids that you need to caddle a little bit and
you need to give positive reinforcement. And if maybe someone
(05:49):
like me and I did fall into this trap multiple
times where I'm I'm getting berated after every uh not
necessarily bad thing that I were, a mistake that I
would make, it's more like bad decisions like showing up late,
all that kind of stuff. I needed to be shown
discipline a little bit. And then you get other kids
that you know, maybe he sees that they need that
(06:10):
positive reinforcement that are doing the same things that I am,
but they need to be shown like hey, it's okay,
Like we'll figure it out, don't worry. And then I'm
like comparing that in my head, I'm like, what does
he just like that person more than me? Does he
not like me specifically? Like is what is this going on?
But most of the time it's it's positive coaching, like
styles that you have to you have to do and
(06:32):
I only realized that, but when I looked back on it,
and I was like, oh, I kind of needed that.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
No one realizes it.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
In the moment again, Anderson Herris joining me, Jesseman McIntyre,
this is Seattle Voice, your Voice, your community Voice, presented.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
By iHeartRadio Seattle.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
And this is really actually true Seattle Voice, because both
of us live here, were ten years apart, more than
ten years apart, different generations.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Let's just go with that.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, and I never realized how how much I needed
what I needed when, uh, when I.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Was an athlete, and I.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Like I said, like, I wanted to quit things when
I was younger, but it was even before that. I
remember I was nine and my parents put me in
a self defense class because they didn't want my cousin
who was just a year older than me, to go alone.
And I'm like, okay, i'll take it, and her parents
let her quit, and my parents said, oh, you're doing it.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
No, it was probably in a parent's mind, like we
paid for these six classes.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
I got that a lot. I don't know if you.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Did, but no, they didn't say it, but in hindsight,
that was probably it. But my dad, the football coach,
you made a commitment and you're going.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
So then I was there alone.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
However, you know, I do know how to carry a
human body like a flower sack. I don't know when
that'll come into practicality, but I know how to be
I got you, I got lifeguarding stills.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
So you go.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, So, so you talked about out a lot of
what you gained from it, but what did you gain
from the coaching side?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
And do you on the other end? Yeah, this is
a compounded question.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Have any stories you like to tell about who you
have seen kind of come through your program in those
six years?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
It was it was something when I finished playing, So
I also played soccer through college, and I actually was
my last couple of years of college, I was like,
I need to get a job. I need to kind of,
you know, help pay the bills before I graduate, all
that kind of stuff. And I thought to myself, well,
I've already played soccer my whole life, and I already
(08:38):
know what the schedule looks like because I had gone
through youth soccer to get to that point. So I'm
gonna I'm gonna start coaching. And it's a it's a
darn much of a commitment, I especially at the level
that that I was coaching at, like, and we can
get into a little more of the recreational side of
things a little bit later, which I think is part
(08:59):
of the the side that gets a little bit neglected
when you're not getting paid. It's all volunteers and you
don't kind of know what you're doing, and you kind
of feel like you're thrust it into it a little
bit just to have someone that's there. But for me,
it was helping these kids that maybe didn't know if
they wanted to pursue soccer, didn't know if they were
(09:20):
good enough, because we were, like I were above the
recreational level, but we're not definitely not the highest level,
which is where I'm coaching. I'm in the middle there somewhere,
coaching wise. So I think a lot of these kids,
they were mostly kids in my area where I grew
up in, which is a pretty upper middle class area
in Seattle, but a lot of them had I want
(09:42):
to say, like some social anxiety or just at least
some social you know, skills that needed to be developed.
I should say there were definitely a few where we
had scholarship kids that would come up and you know,
they couldn't afford to be on the team, but we
offered like scholarships so that they could be able to
play with us and continue to develop them. And there
(10:05):
were a lot of instances where they instantly caught on
and then they went up to bigger and better things.
So like I kind of think of ourselves as like
a springboard in that aspect. But for me, it was
kind of given back to the community that gave me everything.
And I got so much from my youth sports experience,
specifically soccer, that I wanted to kind of give back
(10:28):
to that and I wanted to be that voice for
someone else, and I hope I was.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I'm pretty sure you have I was.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Another reason is because the guy who coached me for
three of my what six years playing in youth soccer
at that select level, was now the coaching director at
the club, so he hired me back. So there's a
little bit of a cycle going on, and there's a
lot of those instances where it was people that he
had coached hiring back on the club because he believes
(10:59):
that's kind of what we kind of put out into
the world. So that's John Hamill. He's an awesome dude.
He actually helped me get this job at KR as well,
so we'll have to have.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Him on the show at some point.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Anderson Harris as a Jessament McIntyre with Seattle Voice, Your
Community Voice, presented by iHeartRadio Seattle.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
And Andrews.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
It is just so nice to hear these stories too,
because you know, I moved out here probably when you
were in like Junior High May two thousand and nine. Okay,
I have radio math there a little bit, but I
have just had such a passion for this community and
(11:39):
I do it all offline. I use whatever my job
is to maybe enhance the experiences for the charities I
work with and everything.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
But you went full force.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
You made it your job right, And I always I
usually save this for the end, but I was going
to ask you to tell a story you might have,
So I share this poem slash short story with every
one of my guests when it's appropriate. Right. So, there's
this little girl on a beach with a thousand starfish,
(12:10):
maybe more washed up, and she's chucking them into the
ocean one by one, and this older gentleman comes up
and says, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
That doesn't matter?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
And she looks at him, throws one into the sea
and goes it matters to that one. And then another
iteration of that story is that the older gentleman starts
helping her after that. That wasn't in the original, but
it is an iteration of that where the gentleman started.
So do you have any kind of starfish story that
(12:41):
you have witnessed or been a part of.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Yeah, I think the I like to think of myself.
I'm not a miracle worker.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Nobody is.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
These kids would have been probably had something else of
this experience. But something that stuck out to me when
I was doing my coaching time was I had this
kid that was playing up year. So I was coaching
the what like thirteen year olds at that time when
he was twelve, So he was playing up a year.
He was with a group of people that he wasn't
(13:09):
very like. He didn't have a bunch of friends. It's
not like you had like these school friends that were
coming with you to soccer practice after exactly so. But
I think his parents were pushing him a little bit.
I don't want to say too much, because I actually
think it was the right level for him. He was
an incredibly skilled player, and I think he had a
future in soccer, at least at the college level or
even higher if he continued to develop those skills. I
(13:32):
think a lot of not on the issue, but something
that he needed to work on was his physicality.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Right, So.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
I'm not going to talk about the soccer side of things.
He was an excellent player, but it was mainly the
social side of things. And he would always come up
to me after practice and be like, Hey, did I
do anything wrong?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Like what can I do?
Speaker 3 (13:50):
And then I would would explain him because I love
when kids are looking to improve, and he's an awesome
dude in that way. But then there was one practice
where he came up and was like, Hey, is there
any way I can be a better team teammate? And
I was like, like, what makes you think that you
weren't a good teammate? And he says, I don't know.
I just I don't get the same I forget the
(14:10):
word he used, but I'll just say treatment from the
rest of the players that maybe someone else did. And
I explained to him like, look, you're an awesome teammate.
You you know, support one another. You may not be
the most vocal guy out here, it's really really important
for you to know like who you are and that
you matter on this team. So I want you to
(14:33):
take that role and almost flourish it a little bit more.
Take a leadership role with these guys. They need someone,
They need to need someone. Like I said, we're in
an upper middle class like kind of area where most
of these kids are from. I don't think there's a
lot of hard nose, put your foot in the ground,
let's go, And they needed some of that. So I
kind of explained that to him, and I was like,
(14:54):
you could definitely be that person if you want it
to be. So he took that to heart. He mainly
that mental kind of click with him actually made him
a much better soccer player as well, and then he
was more embraced by the rest of his teammates. And
that's something where I was like, well, I felt like
I unlocked something inside of his potential.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
That's beautiful and I love that. But you know when
you say you don't do much, it can just be one.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Thing exactly, And I love that short story because like that,
that's kind of how I felt with that it matters
to that one guy.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Right exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I coached volleyball junior or JV volleyball at a high
school in a very affluent area when I was putting
myself through ESPN, because that's what I did. I was
a substitute teacher, a JV volleyball coach, and a bartender.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
And working at ESPN and.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
Lots of stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
However, I formed such a bond with the girls that
I coached too, and I ended up, you know, because
I wasn't a teacher, I couldn't get the varsity job.
But the athletic director there love me, and he's like, please,
just can you take over a prett? Right?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
This coach yamazon nuts so and I was like, hey,
what you know?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
So I proposed joint practices as the head coach and
I said, hey, I you know, I would love to
practice with you know, everyone together because these girls will
be your girls, if you know, hopefully. Yeah, And so
that worked out really well. But I don't know why.
But when I had to quit because I got full
(16:24):
time at ESPN and I had to move and I
didn't have time for that anymore. I went to their graduation.
Oh cool, Like I cared that much, right, Like it's
like you you're like you remember that thing, and my
mom goes, that is so nice shit that you're driving
all the way up there, and I'm like, at it,
I don't know, it didn't seem like a nice that
(16:46):
Like I brought the three seniors flowers and went to
their graduation. It made sense to me. And I think
that's like when coaching can like truly be.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
A bond with people, right, I completely agree, And I
think connecting with people on a deeper level then just
a sport is what kind of that's what you do it.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
For, right, You get to see them.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
And it's not about the level of them developing the sport,
and you know, there's I think there can be a
lot of instances where parents may be pushing the kid
a little too much. I was fortunate to not really
experience that on kids that I was coaching. I think
the parents were very very had a healthy outlook on things.
They they wanted their kids. I think mainly just for
(17:26):
a thing to do, something to commit to, like you
were saying, but then if something turned into something else, great,
then you can kind of go that way. But I
did see, like, of course we play games against other clubs,
I did see a lot of that and it almost
came to the point where I was like, hey, Like
I almost wanted to take a kid from the other
club aside and be like, hey, it's all right, don't
listen to what they're saying, Like it's okay.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah, let's delve into the parenting side of it. Anderson
hur is joining Jessamin McIntyre here, your host of Seattle Voice,
your Community Voice, presented by iHeartRadio Seattle. Because I think
during my generation, like I some crazy parents, but they
were the outliers. Yeah, now I feel like it's full
on battle axe situation.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
What was your experience with that?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Like I said, I felt like I was very fortunate
in that almost I can't think of one that I
coached that I had and I have coached for six years,
so it was not a short amount of time, and
I had a couple of teams at one point. Like,
I had a lot of really good kids, with a
lot of really good parents and a lot of really
good situations. Now, there are obviously challenges that go with that,
(18:30):
but I have seen firsthand when I'm watching my sister
play or when she was, you know, growing up through
youth soccer, I have experienced it, Like I said when
I was coaching. But on the other sideline, and the
one that really hurts me, like I can somewhat understand
it with my sister played at basically the highest level
(18:52):
you can possibly play, because she's now playing professional still
is yeah, exactly, so I can a little bit understand it.
It's still not the greatest thing in the world when
you're like pushing your kid much harder than they probably
would want to push themselves. I think the idea for
most parents should be to I don't want to tell
anyone how to parent their kid, but you want to
(19:13):
give them the tools to feel like they can do it,
and maybe push them a little bit when they need it.
But like when they when you're pushing them more than
you've maybe they want to, and it almost feels like
it's for you and it's not for them. Yeah, that's
when I think it gets to be too much. And
like I said, I could someone understand it if you're
playing at that high level, because you need that extra
mph to differentiate yourself and get to that next level.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
But there's a difference between support and negativity exactly.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yes, And like like I was talking about with coaching,
some kids need that some kids need a kicking the butt,
but not all the time, not every single game, not
every single practice, not There's there's so many instances. And
where I don't understand it at all is like at
the level that I'm I was coaching at, where it's
like most of these kids are not you know, play
(20:00):
in college. Maybe a few here and there, but probably not.
This is more just for an enjoyment thing. And then
especially at the rec level. I don't see as much
the rec level because I think most people know that
that's where they are. But at that middle level, it's
it's a little bit disturbing to see a lot of
parents that you know, take it way too seriously, are
berating the reps, berating their children, but berating the other
(20:22):
team's children, like there's just no point in trying to
live vicariously through your kid that way.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I you know what, this makes me appreciate my parents
absolutely more, because I you know, my father's a football
coach when I was growing up, so we could make
a lot of my volleyball because it is same season,
right and you know, my mom would come to things.
But it just reminded me of when I ran my
first marathon.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I ran a marathon.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
So cool.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I've written several how many three but I've ran like
fifteen halfs, but three folds, three falls. Yeah, that's how
you were in Uni. By the way, keep amander anyway.
But when I signed up, I ran my first half
with Lukemi in the Phoma Society. And for me that
(21:10):
was a big accomplishment because I played volleyball. That's a
fast twitch muscle, you know whatever. I was not a
long distance runner. And so my parents came up and
saw me. I did it in Connecticut where I was
living working at ESPN, and they were like, we're.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
So proud of you.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Great, and then they just drove home and I was like, oh,
like I want. But when I ran my first full
with Lukemi in La Phoma Society, it's called team and training.
You raise up as much money as you can and
if you raise a certain amount, they'll cover your flight
to get to wherever you're running the marathon. And so
(21:47):
I chose Arizona because my best friend lives there nice, perfect,
and so I was like, I don't need the hotel.
I got this, And then my mom's like can I come?
And when I so Anyway, long story short, short story long,
but my mom came, my friend got them both bikes.
They biked the whole you know, was saying I saw
them at a couple mile markers. And afterwards my mom
(22:10):
was like tearing up. I was out of college, it
wasn't a sport, you know. I finished in my under
my goal time, so that was great. But she said
to me, I've never lived vicariously through you until now,
and that is awesome because that thing I think happens
with a lot of parents. But she was so grateful, like,
(22:35):
I don't know for me, I did that for me,
but her emotion in that moment anyway, I just wanted
to say, I'm lucky to have been raised.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
With parents well.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
And there's a healthy way to live vicariously through your kids, right,
that is true, And I just it can become too
much in a lot of different ways. And when it
becomes more about you and not about them, that's when
I think is the kind of the telltale sign that
any something needs to change. And again, I feel lucky
because I never had to deal with that. But I've
heard stories about coaches and even in my club that
(23:06):
have had to have talks with parents. I couldn't imagine
how hard that could have been, especially if the kids there.
Usually usually you try and avoid that if you can.
But yeah, I feel grateful for both my parents and
the parents that were on most of the teams that
I was growing up with. I had very little issues
with or anything like that, which that can affect you too,
even if it's not your parent, like if it's on
your team twenty four to seven, Like, yeah, so I
(23:30):
guess said. I think most parents can be the positive
end of that, but the vocal minority is the one
that sticks out to most people. And I just want
to give a quick resource out. I don't have any
sort of ties to this, but I've I've heard about them.
I did some research on it, and it's called Positive
(23:51):
Coaching Alliance positive coach dot org. It's an organization which
helps youth coaches kind of get resources if they feel
like they're unprepared, Like for instances we just talked about,
Uh maybe there's a parenting issue. Maybe uh, maybe you
you have a situation where you don't know how to
deal with it. There's there's a ton of resources on
this website where you can reach out kind of get
(24:14):
get tools in order to feel like you're you're better
suited to to help these kids and in ways that
they absolutely need. And that's kind of that's kind of
full circle. Where I want to go with this is
I think there's a lot of coaches out there that
may think like, oh, I know the sport really really well,
therefore I'm going to be a great coach.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
It's much more than that. For these kids.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
You need to be a good leader. You need to
be a good role model, a good example, you need
to be disciplined. It's a lot of it's a lot
of commitment as well. Positive coach dot Org is a
great way if you feel like you're ever lacking the
tools to do that for these kids, then it's something
that you can use.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
I love that positive coach dot Org Again.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
This is Anderson Hurris joining me Jessamin McIntyre, your host
of Seattle Voice Your Community Boys, presented by iHeartRadio Seattle,
and I just appreciate your storytelling. So, maach, we have
a few more minutes here. Are there any other stories
you like to share because I will just keep going.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I mean, I kind of wanted to get into the
ref side of things because there can get excoriated. They do,
and there's a massive referee shortage in all sports for youths,
for youth sports, and I think the coaches relationship with
the referee can be a tough thing because they're not
all rests are good refs and not just in a
like good at calling the game. Like sometimes they can
(25:34):
beerate your kids too, and you have to defend your kids.
You have to show your kids that you're out there
for them. And I want to say your kids, the
kids are coaching. So I've been in that situation many times,
so I'm like, hey, you have an issue with what's
going on the field, come talk to me. Don't talk
to them, right, they're not old enough to be at
that level yet. This is when they're a little bit younger,
so it doesn't happen as much. But then when they
(25:56):
get older, then you start to give the kids the
tools to be able to talk to the ref and
you want to give that kind of liaison. You're going
to have to work with people in your life that
you aren't necessarily working with, but you're not necessarily working
against either.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
It's like a middle person.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Let's figure it out exactly, yes, exactly, So you close
the gap exactly right, Okay.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
So what am I doing wrong? How can I fix that?
All that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
But it's really really important, I think, both from just
with all referee relationships. So whether it's with the coach,
whether it's with the players, whether it's with the parents,
it's really important that you understand that these guys are
severely underpaid, They're taking a lot of time, mostly out
of their weekends, and it's it's really easy to get
(26:44):
caught up in the oh I could I could do
a better job of this.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Oh gosh that I hear that constantly and everything that
I get.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Well, yeah, exactly well.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
And as someone that has been in this situation many
times because of the referee shortage where the ref doesn't
show up, I'd way rather have a bad refee there
than no ref right, So it's really really important that
we understand, like, hey, it's at the end of the day,
it's not about the winner the loss, right, I want
(27:12):
my kids to improve at the sport, and kind of
if it ends up being a bad call that you know,
ruins the game, so.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Be it also that she's just patience well as long
as it's handled correctly. Absolutely, if you have these parents,
your parents, or any other parents screaming at someone even
if they're wrong, that it absorbs into Like you said
at the beginning, kids are smarter than we think. They
absorbed so much and maybe they just can't repeat it
(27:41):
back to you, right.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
And I feel kind of hypocritical for bringing this up
because I was someone who got when I was playing,
very frustrated with refereeing, and I did not have a
great relationship with referees. But it's funny because when I
became a coach that changed. I felt like, I actually,
I mean, you grew up.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
Yeah, I grew up.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
I grew Yeah, it's becoming mature. But having seen that
different perspective of the game, like instead of being the
one playing, being the one that's getting fouled or being
the one that's having fouls called on me, I felt
like personally attacked every single time something happened, and I
was I was paying, Like I'm a super competitive guy
as well, but being on the sideline kind of a
(28:22):
not thirty thousand foot view but more of a grander
view of the game. And I want my team to
do well. That's all I'm concerned about. I almost took
the Hey, don't worry about the ref. We'll worry about
that later. Like, and it's weird because that's I felt
like I developed that when I became a coach. It
wasn't like when I stopped playing or anything like that
(28:43):
I grew up or anything. I think it's just having
that different perspective. So I felt like I could give
that to my kids, and I would always tell them like, hey,
I was worse with the ref than you are, so
don't feel bad about being upset, being up, being angry
about what's going on.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Experience is always something to go on, but.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
You can do it. It's fine.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
You guys are doing great, Like, don't worry about what's
going on there. It's it's and I think it's both
really important for the ref and for the kids to
kind of get that relationship going.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
So I got a warning for swearing during volleyball, all right, yeah,
multiple times, but it was like, not at the ref.
It was just me missing something.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Gosh darn it. Anyway, that is totally me. That is
exactly how I talk. Absolutely self talk, self talk. Yes,
gosh darn it, Yeah, thank you hooliganes. Apparently all right, well,
this has been an awesome conversation, Anderson Hurst, thank you
so much for joining me again. Jessamine McIntyre, your host
(29:47):
of Seattle Voice, your community voice, presented by iHeart Radio
Seattle and if you have any show ideas or to
find out how your voice can be heard, email Seattle
Voice at iHeartMedia
This is Jesseman McIntyre, your host of Seattle Voice, your
community Voice, presented by iHeartRadio Seattle, and today I am
honored to be speaking with one of my colleagues and
someone I am privileged to call a friend, Anderson Hurst,
who I like to call Anders, but his full name
is Anderson Hurst.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Anders.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Thank you for joining me, Jessmine. I am honored that
you're honored to bring me on, So thank you so
much for bringing me on, and thank you for introducing
me as Anderson. I always introduce myself as Anderson, but
most people call me Andrews, so either one.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
It's fine.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
People like to shorten things, and I don't mind being
called jess and everything, but when someone calls me Jessemine,
I can't tell if I'm like your friend or if
I'm in troll, right, Jessmin, So we obviously the show
is dedicated to the community, and I know that you
have done an absolute ton of work in the youth
soccer community, and I invited you on to talk about that.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yeah, thank you so much. And I don't know if
a ton is the right word. I coach for a
few years.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
That is that's a ton.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
It is a ton.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
And I think that's kind of where we should jump
off today because I have a lot of passion for
not just youth soccer, I think youth sports in general.
I think it's an excellent way for a lot of
kids to have an outlet, whether it's just another thing
to do after school, whether it's a way to get
more friends, whether it's a way to kind of have
a different voice in your life that's your parents or
(01:23):
your teacher. I think that's really really important, or maybe
you're you're in a struggle some situation and you need
something that's just an outlet to do that. So youth
sports are incredibly important for kids, and having a good
leader is something that I think is going a little
bit by the wayside in the last few years, and
(01:43):
as someone who has been a part of that, you know, development,
I coached youth soccer from twenty seventeen through twenty twenty three,
so at about six years I wasn't ever like a
super high level coach, but we I coached Jedi Select
Soccer club where parents would pay for have their kids
practice and play all year round. We would do a
(02:07):
season in the fall, season in the spring, and then
do tournaments in the summertime. Kind of just a way
to show this is, you know what commitment looks like
from a pretty young age. I think the youngest team
we had was nine year olds, so and then it
goes all the way up to your seniors in high
school before you go to college. So that's Emerald City
(02:27):
Football Club. But I kind of want to talk more
about just youth soccer or youth sports coaches in general,
because I think that can have an impact on a
little kid's life in so many different ways, both good
and bad, and it's something that I think doesn't get
talked about very much.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I completely agree, and I can remember the coaches that
had the biggest impact on me. I ended up playing
volleyball in college, but that didn't start there obviously, And
I still remember Merlin, my Haitian club volleyball coach, who
made me run laps after I did dive hard enough
for a ball in.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Practice, not in a game. Not a game, we're talking.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
About practice, we're.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
And I hated that I disappointed him, and it made me,
you know, try harder. He wasn't super hard, I mean
that's I just ran laps and beat me or anything,
but it made me feel more important or more devoted
to my commitment. And also I went to this other
club after other girls quit. I was on one club
(03:31):
and then a bunch of the other girls said they were.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Coming to this club, and then that one.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Dissipated, so I went to this one, and I had
no friends on the team so hard and my parents
told me I made a commitment, and I committed to
this coach. And one time he berated me so hard
and said that he was going to call.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I had already committed to my college. He said he
was going to call.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Is that the kind of player that I'm not going
to say his name that this coach is getting. And
that was the first time I actually had an emotion
about it, because I had a scholarship and everything and
I was going to this college. And then he pulled
me aside and goes, you know I would never do that, okay,
because he saw me get emotional for the first time. Yeah,
And I just went and ran. I did my laps,
(04:14):
but my face dropped.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
So that's an interesting I've never heard that story.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I don't tell you're like the first person that's ever
heard That's cool.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I actually really like that because that goes into a
lot of what can be lost in the weeds and
coaching is how many different styles can work with different
kids and what age you have to read people exactly,
so like a lot of especially we'll get into the
parents side of things in a little bit later, but
that's a whole.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Other aspect of that.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
But yeah, but some kids, you know, they they pick
up from a young age. I'm someone who believes that
kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Agreed,
like big time, they just don't know how to articulate
it as much.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
Maybe.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
But I'm someone who who thinks that, you know, when
coach are treating, you know, one kid different than another kid,
that that can seem like it come off as favoritism.
It can seem like it comes off as, oh, you
you like this person more than you like me, Whereas
I think a lot of it most of the time
happens to be coaches that are using a different coaching
(05:18):
style with one person than another person. I was someone
who needed to be kicked in the butt when I
was when I.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Was playing about that.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Obviously, absolutely, he will tell you the exact same thing.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
He will tell you stories upon stories about Yeah, I
know he does, and we talk each other at every
Sounders broadcast and he's the man. I am still in
touch with him today and that's a great example of
a great coach had in my life. So I can
make a super positive impact. But then you have the
kids that you need to caddle a little bit and
you need to give positive reinforcement. And if maybe someone
(05:49):
like me and I did fall into this trap multiple
times where I'm I'm getting berated after every uh not
necessarily bad thing that I were, a mistake that I
would make, it's more like bad decisions like showing up late,
all that kind of stuff. I needed to be shown
discipline a little bit. And then you get other kids
that you know, maybe he sees that they need that
(06:10):
positive reinforcement that are doing the same things that I am,
but they need to be shown like hey, it's okay,
Like we'll figure it out, don't worry. And then I'm
like comparing that in my head, I'm like, what does
he just like that person more than me? Does he
not like me specifically? Like is what is this going on?
But most of the time it's it's positive coaching, like
styles that you have to you have to do and
(06:32):
I only realized that, but when I looked back on it,
and I was like, oh, I kind of needed that.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
No one realizes it.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
In the moment again, Anderson Herris joining me, Jesseman McIntyre,
this is Seattle Voice, your Voice, your community Voice, presented.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
By iHeartRadio Seattle.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
And this is really actually true Seattle Voice, because both
of us live here, were ten years apart, more than
ten years apart, different generations.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Let's just go with that.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, and I never realized how how much I needed
what I needed when, uh, when I.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Was an athlete, and I.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Like I said, like, I wanted to quit things when
I was younger, but it was even before that. I
remember I was nine and my parents put me in
a self defense class because they didn't want my cousin
who was just a year older than me, to go alone.
And I'm like, okay, i'll take it, and her parents
let her quit, and my parents said, oh, you're doing it.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
No, it was probably in a parent's mind, like we
paid for these six classes.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
I got that a lot. I don't know if you.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Did, but no, they didn't say it, but in hindsight,
that was probably it. But my dad, the football coach,
you made a commitment and you're going.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
So then I was there alone.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
However, you know, I do know how to carry a
human body like a flower sack. I don't know when
that'll come into practicality, but I know how to be
I got you, I got lifeguarding stills.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
So you go.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, So, so you talked about out a lot of
what you gained from it, but what did you gain
from the coaching side?
Speaker 2 (08:04):
And do you on the other end? Yeah, this is
a compounded question.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Have any stories you like to tell about who you
have seen kind of come through your program in those
six years?
Speaker 3 (08:17):
It was it was something when I finished playing, So
I also played soccer through college, and I actually was
my last couple of years of college, I was like,
I need to get a job. I need to kind of,
you know, help pay the bills before I graduate, all
that kind of stuff. And I thought to myself, well,
I've already played soccer my whole life, and I already
(08:38):
know what the schedule looks like because I had gone
through youth soccer to get to that point. So I'm
gonna I'm gonna start coaching. And it's a it's a
darn much of a commitment, I especially at the level
that that I was coaching at, like, and we can
get into a little more of the recreational side of
things a little bit later, which I think is part
(08:59):
of the the side that gets a little bit neglected
when you're not getting paid. It's all volunteers and you
don't kind of know what you're doing, and you kind
of feel like you're thrust it into it a little
bit just to have someone that's there. But for me,
it was helping these kids that maybe didn't know if
they wanted to pursue soccer, didn't know if they were
(09:20):
good enough, because we were, like I were above the
recreational level, but we're not definitely not the highest level,
which is where I'm coaching. I'm in the middle there somewhere,
coaching wise. So I think a lot of these kids,
they were mostly kids in my area where I grew
up in, which is a pretty upper middle class area
in Seattle, but a lot of them had I want
(09:42):
to say, like some social anxiety or just at least
some social you know, skills that needed to be developed.
I should say there were definitely a few where we
had scholarship kids that would come up and you know,
they couldn't afford to be on the team, but we
offered like scholarships so that they could be able to
play with us and continue to develop them. And there
(10:05):
were a lot of instances where they instantly caught on
and then they went up to bigger and better things.
So like I kind of think of ourselves as like
a springboard in that aspect. But for me, it was
kind of given back to the community that gave me everything.
And I got so much from my youth sports experience,
specifically soccer, that I wanted to kind of give back
(10:28):
to that and I wanted to be that voice for
someone else, and I hope I was.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I'm pretty sure you have I was.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Another reason is because the guy who coached me for
three of my what six years playing in youth soccer
at that select level, was now the coaching director at
the club, so he hired me back. So there's a
little bit of a cycle going on, and there's a
lot of those instances where it was people that he
had coached hiring back on the club because he believes
(10:59):
that's kind of what we kind of put out into
the world. So that's John Hamill. He's an awesome dude.
He actually helped me get this job at KR as well,
so we'll have to have.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Him on the show at some point.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Anderson Harris as a Jessament McIntyre with Seattle Voice, Your
Community Voice, presented by iHeartRadio Seattle.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
And Andrews.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
It is just so nice to hear these stories too,
because you know, I moved out here probably when you
were in like Junior High May two thousand and nine. Okay,
I have radio math there a little bit, but I
have just had such a passion for this community and
(11:39):
I do it all offline. I use whatever my job
is to maybe enhance the experiences for the charities I
work with and everything.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
But you went full force.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
You made it your job right, And I always I
usually save this for the end, but I was going
to ask you to tell a story you might have,
So I share this poem slash short story with every
one of my guests when it's appropriate. Right. So, there's
this little girl on a beach with a thousand starfish,
(12:10):
maybe more washed up, and she's chucking them into the
ocean one by one, and this older gentleman comes up
and says, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
That doesn't matter?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
And she looks at him, throws one into the sea
and goes it matters to that one. And then another
iteration of that story is that the older gentleman starts
helping her after that. That wasn't in the original, but
it is an iteration of that where the gentleman started.
So do you have any kind of starfish story that
(12:41):
you have witnessed or been a part of.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Yeah, I think the I like to think of myself.
I'm not a miracle worker.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Nobody is.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
These kids would have been probably had something else of
this experience. But something that stuck out to me when
I was doing my coaching time was I had this
kid that was playing up year. So I was coaching
the what like thirteen year olds at that time when
he was twelve, So he was playing up a year.
He was with a group of people that he wasn't
(13:09):
very like. He didn't have a bunch of friends. It's
not like you had like these school friends that were
coming with you to soccer practice after exactly so. But
I think his parents were pushing him a little bit.
I don't want to say too much, because I actually
think it was the right level for him. He was
an incredibly skilled player, and I think he had a
future in soccer, at least at the college level or
even higher if he continued to develop those skills. I
(13:32):
think a lot of not on the issue, but something
that he needed to work on was his physicality.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Right, So.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
I'm not going to talk about the soccer side of things.
He was an excellent player, but it was mainly the
social side of things. And he would always come up
to me after practice and be like, Hey, did I
do anything wrong?
Speaker 4 (13:48):
Like what can I do?
Speaker 3 (13:50):
And then I would would explain him because I love
when kids are looking to improve, and he's an awesome
dude in that way. But then there was one practice
where he came up and was like, Hey, is there
any way I can be a better team teammate? And
I was like, like, what makes you think that you
weren't a good teammate? And he says, I don't know.
I just I don't get the same I forget the
(14:10):
word he used, but I'll just say treatment from the
rest of the players that maybe someone else did. And
I explained to him like, look, you're an awesome teammate.
You you know, support one another. You may not be
the most vocal guy out here, it's really really important
for you to know like who you are and that
you matter on this team. So I want you to
(14:33):
take that role and almost flourish it a little bit more.
Take a leadership role with these guys. They need someone,
They need to need someone. Like I said, we're in
an upper middle class like kind of area where most
of these kids are from. I don't think there's a
lot of hard nose, put your foot in the ground,
let's go, And they needed some of that. So I
kind of explained that to him, and I was like,
(14:54):
you could definitely be that person if you want it
to be. So he took that to heart. He mainly
that mental kind of click with him actually made him
a much better soccer player as well, and then he
was more embraced by the rest of his teammates. And
that's something where I was like, well, I felt like
I unlocked something inside of his potential.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
That's beautiful and I love that. But you know when
you say you don't do much, it can just be one.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Thing exactly, And I love that short story because like that,
that's kind of how I felt with that it matters
to that one guy.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Right exactly.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
I coached volleyball junior or JV volleyball at a high
school in a very affluent area when I was putting
myself through ESPN, because that's what I did. I was
a substitute teacher, a JV volleyball coach, and a bartender.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
And working at ESPN and.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
Lots of stuff.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
However, I formed such a bond with the girls that
I coached too, and I ended up, you know, because
I wasn't a teacher, I couldn't get the varsity job.
But the athletic director there love me, and he's like, please,
just can you take over a prett? Right?
Speaker 2 (16:00):
This coach yamazon nuts so and I was like, hey,
what you know?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
So I proposed joint practices as the head coach and
I said, hey, I you know, I would love to
practice with you know, everyone together because these girls will
be your girls, if you know, hopefully. Yeah, And so
that worked out really well. But I don't know why.
But when I had to quit because I got full
(16:24):
time at ESPN and I had to move and I
didn't have time for that anymore. I went to their graduation.
Oh cool, Like I cared that much, right, Like it's
like you you're like you remember that thing, and my
mom goes, that is so nice shit that you're driving
all the way up there, and I'm like, at it,
I don't know, it didn't seem like a nice that
(16:46):
Like I brought the three seniors flowers and went to
their graduation. It made sense to me. And I think
that's like when coaching can like truly be.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
A bond with people, right, I completely agree, And I
think connecting with people on a deeper level then just
a sport is what kind of that's what you do it.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
For, right, You get to see them.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
And it's not about the level of them developing the sport,
and you know, there's I think there can be a
lot of instances where parents may be pushing the kid
a little too much. I was fortunate to not really
experience that on kids that I was coaching. I think
the parents were very very had a healthy outlook on things.
They they wanted their kids. I think mainly just for
(17:26):
a thing to do, something to commit to, like you
were saying, but then if something turned into something else, great,
then you can kind of go that way. But I
did see, like, of course we play games against other clubs,
I did see a lot of that and it almost
came to the point where I was like, hey, Like
I almost wanted to take a kid from the other
club aside and be like, hey, it's all right, don't
listen to what they're saying, Like it's okay.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah, let's delve into the parenting side of it. Anderson
hur is joining Jessamin McIntyre here, your host of Seattle Voice,
your Community Voice, presented by iHeartRadio Seattle. Because I think
during my generation, like I some crazy parents, but they
were the outliers. Yeah, now I feel like it's full
on battle axe situation.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
What was your experience with that?
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Like I said, I felt like I was very fortunate
in that almost I can't think of one that I
coached that I had and I have coached for six years,
so it was not a short amount of time, and
I had a couple of teams at one point. Like,
I had a lot of really good kids, with a
lot of really good parents and a lot of really
good situations. Now, there are obviously challenges that go with that,
(18:30):
but I have seen firsthand when I'm watching my sister
play or when she was, you know, growing up through
youth soccer, I have experienced it, Like I said when
I was coaching. But on the other sideline, and the
one that really hurts me, like I can somewhat understand
it with my sister played at basically the highest level
(18:52):
you can possibly play, because she's now playing professional still
is yeah, exactly, so I can a little bit understand it.
It's still not the greatest thing in the world when
you're like pushing your kid much harder than they probably
would want to push themselves. I think the idea for
most parents should be to I don't want to tell
anyone how to parent their kid, but you want to
(19:13):
give them the tools to feel like they can do it,
and maybe push them a little bit when they need it.
But like when they when you're pushing them more than
you've maybe they want to, and it almost feels like
it's for you and it's not for them. Yeah, that's
when I think it gets to be too much. And
like I said, I could someone understand it if you're
playing at that high level, because you need that extra
mph to differentiate yourself and get to that next level.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
But there's a difference between support and negativity exactly.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yes, And like like I was talking about with coaching,
some kids need that some kids need a kicking the butt,
but not all the time, not every single game, not
every single practice, not There's there's so many instances. And
where I don't understand it at all is like at
the level that I'm I was coaching at, where it's
like most of these kids are not you know, play
(20:00):
in college. Maybe a few here and there, but probably not.
This is more just for an enjoyment thing. And then
especially at the rec level. I don't see as much
the rec level because I think most people know that
that's where they are. But at that middle level, it's
it's a little bit disturbing to see a lot of
parents that you know, take it way too seriously, are
berating the reps, berating their children, but berating the other
(20:22):
team's children, like there's just no point in trying to
live vicariously through your kid that way.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I you know what, this makes me appreciate my parents
absolutely more, because I you know, my father's a football
coach when I was growing up, so we could make
a lot of my volleyball because it is same season,
right and you know, my mom would come to things.
But it just reminded me of when I ran my
first marathon.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I ran a marathon.
Speaker 4 (20:50):
So cool.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I've written several how many three but I've ran like
fifteen halfs, but three folds, three falls. Yeah, that's how
you were in Uni. By the way, keep amander anyway.
But when I signed up, I ran my first half
with Lukemi in the Phoma Society. And for me that
(21:10):
was a big accomplishment because I played volleyball. That's a
fast twitch muscle, you know whatever. I was not a
long distance runner. And so my parents came up and
saw me. I did it in Connecticut where I was
living working at ESPN, and they were like, we're.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
So proud of you.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Great, and then they just drove home and I was like, oh,
like I want. But when I ran my first full
with Lukemi in La Phoma Society, it's called team and training.
You raise up as much money as you can and
if you raise a certain amount, they'll cover your flight
to get to wherever you're running the marathon. And so
(21:47):
I chose Arizona because my best friend lives there nice, perfect,
and so I was like, I don't need the hotel.
I got this, And then my mom's like can I come?
And when I so Anyway, long story short, short story long,
but my mom came, my friend got them both bikes.
They biked the whole you know, was saying I saw
them at a couple mile markers. And afterwards my mom
(22:10):
was like tearing up. I was out of college, it
wasn't a sport, you know. I finished in my under
my goal time, so that was great. But she said
to me, I've never lived vicariously through you until now,
and that is awesome because that thing I think happens
with a lot of parents. But she was so grateful, like,
(22:35):
I don't know for me, I did that for me,
but her emotion in that moment anyway, I just wanted
to say, I'm lucky to have been raised.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
With parents well.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
And there's a healthy way to live vicariously through your kids, right,
that is true, And I just it can become too
much in a lot of different ways. And when it
becomes more about you and not about them, that's when
I think is the kind of the telltale sign that
any something needs to change. And again, I feel lucky
because I never had to deal with that. But I've
heard stories about coaches and even in my club that
(23:06):
have had to have talks with parents. I couldn't imagine
how hard that could have been, especially if the kids there.
Usually usually you try and avoid that if you can.
But yeah, I feel grateful for both my parents and
the parents that were on most of the teams that
I was growing up with. I had very little issues
with or anything like that, which that can affect you too,
even if it's not your parent, like if it's on
your team twenty four to seven, Like, yeah, so I
(23:30):
guess said. I think most parents can be the positive
end of that, but the vocal minority is the one
that sticks out to most people. And I just want
to give a quick resource out. I don't have any
sort of ties to this, but I've I've heard about them.
I did some research on it, and it's called Positive
(23:51):
Coaching Alliance positive coach dot org. It's an organization which
helps youth coaches kind of get resources if they feel
like they're unprepared, Like for instances we just talked about,
Uh maybe there's a parenting issue. Maybe uh, maybe you
you have a situation where you don't know how to
deal with it. There's there's a ton of resources on
this website where you can reach out kind of get
(24:14):
get tools in order to feel like you're you're better
suited to to help these kids and in ways that
they absolutely need. And that's kind of that's kind of
full circle. Where I want to go with this is
I think there's a lot of coaches out there that
may think like, oh, I know the sport really really well,
therefore I'm going to be a great coach.
Speaker 4 (24:31):
It's much more than that. For these kids.
Speaker 3 (24:33):
You need to be a good leader. You need to
be a good role model, a good example, you need
to be disciplined. It's a lot of it's a lot
of commitment as well. Positive coach dot Org is a
great way if you feel like you're ever lacking the
tools to do that for these kids, then it's something
that you can use.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
I love that positive coach dot Org Again.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
This is Anderson Hurris joining me Jessamin McIntyre, your host
of Seattle Voice Your Community Boys, presented by iHeartRadio Seattle,
and I just appreciate your storytelling. So, maach, we have
a few more minutes here. Are there any other stories
you like to share because I will just keep going.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I mean, I kind of wanted to get into the
ref side of things because there can get excoriated. They do,
and there's a massive referee shortage in all sports for youths,
for youth sports, and I think the coaches relationship with
the referee can be a tough thing because they're not
all rests are good refs and not just in a
like good at calling the game. Like sometimes they can
(25:34):
beerate your kids too, and you have to defend your kids.
You have to show your kids that you're out there
for them. And I want to say your kids, the
kids are coaching. So I've been in that situation many times,
so I'm like, hey, you have an issue with what's
going on the field, come talk to me. Don't talk
to them, right, they're not old enough to be at
that level yet. This is when they're a little bit younger,
so it doesn't happen as much. But then when they
(25:56):
get older, then you start to give the kids the
tools to be able to talk to the ref and
you want to give that kind of liaison. You're going
to have to work with people in your life that
you aren't necessarily working with, but you're not necessarily working
against either.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
It's like a middle person.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Let's figure it out exactly, yes, exactly, So you close
the gap exactly right, Okay.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
So what am I doing wrong? How can I fix that?
All that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
But it's really really important, I think, both from just
with all referee relationships. So whether it's with the coach,
whether it's with the players, whether it's with the parents,
it's really important that you understand that these guys are
severely underpaid, They're taking a lot of time, mostly out
of their weekends, and it's it's really easy to get
(26:44):
caught up in the oh I could I could do
a better job of this.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Oh gosh that I hear that constantly and everything that
I get.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Well, yeah, exactly well.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
And as someone that has been in this situation many
times because of the referee shortage where the ref doesn't
show up, I'd way rather have a bad refee there
than no ref right, So it's really really important that
we understand, like, hey, it's at the end of the day,
it's not about the winner the loss, right, I want
(27:12):
my kids to improve at the sport, and kind of
if it ends up being a bad call that you know,
ruins the game, so.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Be it also that she's just patience well as long
as it's handled correctly. Absolutely, if you have these parents,
your parents, or any other parents screaming at someone even
if they're wrong, that it absorbs into Like you said
at the beginning, kids are smarter than we think. They
absorbed so much and maybe they just can't repeat it
(27:41):
back to you, right.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
And I feel kind of hypocritical for bringing this up
because I was someone who got when I was playing,
very frustrated with refereeing, and I did not have a
great relationship with referees. But it's funny because when I
became a coach that changed. I felt like, I actually,
I mean, you grew up.
Speaker 4 (28:02):
Yeah, I grew up.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
I grew Yeah, it's becoming mature. But having seen that
different perspective of the game, like instead of being the
one playing, being the one that's getting fouled or being
the one that's having fouls called on me, I felt
like personally attacked every single time something happened, and I
was I was paying, Like I'm a super competitive guy
as well, but being on the sideline kind of a
(28:22):
not thirty thousand foot view but more of a grander
view of the game. And I want my team to
do well. That's all I'm concerned about. I almost took
the Hey, don't worry about the ref. We'll worry about
that later. Like, and it's weird because that's I felt
like I developed that when I became a coach. It
wasn't like when I stopped playing or anything like that
(28:43):
I grew up or anything. I think it's just having
that different perspective. So I felt like I could give
that to my kids, and I would always tell them like, hey,
I was worse with the ref than you are, so
don't feel bad about being upset, being up, being angry
about what's going on.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Experience is always something to go on, but.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
You can do it. It's fine.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
You guys are doing great, Like, don't worry about what's
going on there. It's it's and I think it's both
really important for the ref and for the kids to
kind of get that relationship going.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
So I got a warning for swearing during volleyball, all right, yeah,
multiple times, but it was like, not at the ref.
It was just me missing something.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
Gosh darn it. Anyway, that is totally me. That is
exactly how I talk. Absolutely self talk, self talk. Yes,
gosh darn it, Yeah, thank you hooliganes. Apparently all right, well,
this has been an awesome conversation, Anderson Hurst, thank you
so much for joining me again. Jessamine McIntyre, your host
(29:47):
of Seattle Voice, your community voice, presented by iHeart Radio
Seattle and if you have any show ideas or to
find out how your voice can be heard, email Seattle
Voice at iHeartMedia
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com