Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The following is a paid commercial by Black Girl's Sunscreen.
The views expressed are those of the sponsor and not
iHeartMedia or this station. Welcome to Shamelessly Chantey with your
host Chante Lundy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Good money. You're listening to shamless see Chante and I'm
your host, Shanta Lundy. So the other night I was
scrolling minding my moisturized business and three videos stopped me cold.
First up, a black woman who has how do I
say this, politely opted out fully transformed herself into a
(00:41):
white woman, not bi racial, not racially ambiguous, just white.
And according to her, she's never been black, not a drop,
not a memory, not a mood, and somehow she's serious.
Then there's Tia Mauri, who referred to herself as a
single mother, which technically she is and that's debatable. So
(01:02):
we're gonna talk about that today. And the internet came
for her at like she tried to revoke Father's Day,
y'all like lots of rhetoric on that. The discourse was loud, aggressive,
and honestly, well, I can't say honestly, but it could
be unnecessary. So I can't wait to hear your thoughts
on this and then finally, we can't ignore this moment
(01:23):
the CEO caught front row at a Coldplay concert, not
with his wife, not with a work badge, but with
the head of HR. So let's say the synergy was unethical.
So today I'm shamelessy chante. We're asking the real questions.
(01:43):
Who gets to choose their identity? Why is motherhood under
a microscope? And where did the workforce turn into a
dating pool with stock options? Because social media doesn't just
show us trends, it shows us the truth, and the
truth is I don't know, y'all. It's getting wild out there.
(02:04):
So today you're going to be listening to our take
on social moments. Francis Kimberly, y'all ready to get in it?
I'm ready, yes, okay. So first off, the black woman
that has transformed into a white woman. This isn't Rachel
Jozel cosplay here, y'all remember Rachel Jozel? Okay? Yep, I
hope I'm pronouncing her name her last name right. This
(02:26):
is a full lifestyle pivot, and I mean commit it,
like commit it. Bleach skinned, altered features, voice changes, and
even new family photos. Oh I can't even believe it anyway,
we won't address them. Y'all know what I'm talking about.
So what does that say about identity? When someone feels
(02:48):
safer or more successful claiming whiteness than blackness, do we
think is it self hate, delusion or dangerous performance.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
All of the above. I don't think it's one thing.
I think it could be something different for every person
that has gone through that. I think it's difficult to
understand because I do think it's so layered. We live
in a racialized world. I mean that is just the reality,
and I think how that affects people, it can be
(03:20):
very painful for some, and how it then shows up
is going to differ. I don't know what happened to
that woman to take her there, but you can't ignore
that racism exists. Colorism exists, and that can show up
in simple ways, so just choosing to straighten your hair,
(03:42):
changing your hair color, changing your eye color. But when
you go as far as doing like all of the
above and completely walking away from your race, your color
and saying, oh, I was never that, there's something deeply
flawed there that may have happened with that woman. But
I think it is a much bigger and broader issue
(04:02):
because it is. It is a result of the world
that we live in. And I think that people still
want to ignore that colorism exists. It exists here, it
exists in other countries, and it shows up in many
different ways.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Do you think we can truly ever opt out of
being black?
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Not if you have children? Okay, okay, because genetics are genetics.
Absolutely so she could marry the whitest of white and
her genetics are going to come through.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yep, racers. Have you seen the video?
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I did, And I'm just floored because I will never
ever deny my blackness. Love it for her. I just
wonder what happened in her life that got her to
that point, and if she considered therapy to try to
talk and figure things out, because this is just so drastic.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Well do we equate it to becoming trand and changing
you know, our sex? Is it something different or is
it the same? That's a good question, I would.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Well, it's how you view yourself though, right, if you're true,
being true to yourself in who you believe yourself to
be authentically, and if that's a different sex, then maybe so.
But I don't know. I think changing your race, I
think that's different.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I really do.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
And some people might do it out of safety. They
just feel like, you know, this is how for me
to feel secure, I need to distance myself from my race,
which is very, very sad. For some it might be
a way that they feel accepted. I mean in society.
You know, if you are of a particular race, then
(05:54):
you might have it a little bit easier, you might
be accepted a little bit more in the workplace. I
mean again, it is so layered, it is.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
But you know, let me get closer. So when when
changing your sex, right, I hear that the reason is
because I am that already mentally right from a man
to woman, woman to a man, right. So can a
white person, a black person, whatever type of whatever race
you are, can mentally they say I'm not I'm not
(06:24):
a black woman, I am a white woman. I am
I am this, and that is that what we're seeing here.
I know, Kim believe you think it's not right, but.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
No, I mean, I just it again, it's nuanced. I
think it can be different for different people. I I
identify with my blackness, and that goes beyond just the
color of my skin. Sure though it's my experiences, it's
it's the culture, it's my family. There's there's so much
to being black beyond color of your skin. So if
(06:55):
you think you can just walk away from that and
identify as something very different, I don't know how you
do that unless your life is just very.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
Bleak and pain And I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Did we read if people were co signing for her
in the comments.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
I didn't see the comments on it. I was just
I was stuck on the video. Yeah, I was stuck
on the video. And I don't even think that I can.
I don't even think that I can try to figure
out what brought her to this point because my mindset,
(07:34):
it can't even go there. I just think something and
I'm guessing, of course, but something traumatic had to have
happened to her, because then it's like, what about your family,
what about your history? You have a mom, you have
a dad, you may have siblings.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
They might accept her. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Maybe. I mean, I think it says a lot about society.
I think it says a lot about the world we
live in. I did read the comments, and there were
plenty of comments from people saying, oh my god, she's
so beautiful now, so that played right into why she
did it, I think, so there were definitely a variety,
and there's certainly there were people that came for her like, wow,
(08:12):
that's a terrible thing. I feel sorry for you. But
I was disappointed at the number of people that actually
were like, she's so pretty now now.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Yeah, now, But sometimes the prettiness comes from within.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
It does, it does, But we also know that people
don't often care about them within in the world we
live in.
Speaker 6 (08:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yeah, that video took me by surprise. It literally stopped
me in my school because I was like, wait, what
does this headline say? But it's not the first case, right,
We've seen folks transition, not transition, but kind of you know,
identify with something else than than what they were born with.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Well, we also see people make these changes and they
don't then say, well, I'm no longer black. But we've
certainly seen notable people who have as they've become more successful,
their skin tone has changed and has gotten lighter, and
how they present themselves has certainly changed over the years.
(09:18):
And it's like, but people don't necessarily say too much
about it, you know, but there are plenty. There are
people in the sports world, people in the entertainment world, and.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Peopould just talk behind the right.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
That's the problem.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
That's the problem behind the back, Because if we're friends,
why wouldn't you say anything?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
You would ask me, hey, you bleaching your skin? Or
what's going on?
Speaker 5 (09:47):
Be more tasteful with it, you know?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
But yeah, what would you say to me?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I would ask, like, is something you know I've noticed
a change? I would I have never had anybody close
to me that has done that, so I'd have to
really think about how I would approach it. But I
do think it speaks to something else that is going
on with that person, and you can't ignore I mean,
the bleaching cream industry is like a multi billion dollar
(10:17):
global industry, Like people do it all the time. So
but I do think it speaks to something else driving it,
and it's usually around racism, colorism, all of those things.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Not living themselves. No, So, Kimberly, what's happening at Black
Girl Sunscreen?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Yeah, so we wanted to talk again about BGS Baby,
And the great thing about BGS Baby is of course
the incredibly ultranourishing formula right that has the camamel and
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recently we had somebody ask us at an event about
(10:55):
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and she is experiencing a flare up and she was
asking if we had one hundred percent mineral formula. So
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(11:19):
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Speaker 2 (11:29):
Education starts very early, does and from the parents. So
I'm hoping that BGS Baby hits home with our moms
and our dads out there and they're protecting their children
very early. I know this is something that parents are
doing and wearing the clothing so from the hats to
(11:49):
the to the on sees, making sure the umbrella is
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Chante all right.
Speaker 6 (12:06):
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(12:28):
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Speaker 2 (12:34):
Some folks weren't loving Tia Maori this past week and
Tiya who called herself a single mom and got dragged
through digital hell for it. Some folks said she was
being disrespectful to her ex. Others said she was playing
the victim. But here's the thing. She didn't say she
(12:55):
was a solo mom. She said she's single, and last
we all checked, she's divorced and it's not a couple's refeet.
So is this semantics? What do we think this is?
Why are women always policing how they describe their experiences
(13:16):
even when it's factual.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
I really don't understand it. It seems so silly to me.
I mean, she is a divorced woman, she is single,
and she's taking care of her children. I don't know
enough about her to know whether or not she was
in any way intending to shade her ex. I don't
know if he hasn't been the greatest father. I do
(13:41):
find it interesting though, that people are picking apart her words,
and yeah, I don't understand that at all.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
So I give you something better. I give you something better. Ready,
So let's remove her out of the conversation. What is
our definition of a single mom? Forget where her status is,
who's who she was married to? In our lives? Right?
And what we see? What is the single mom?
Speaker 5 (14:07):
Mom at home taking care of the kids, doing it all?
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Primary parent?
Speaker 5 (14:12):
Primary parent?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Okay, do the kids see their father on the weekends.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
In my situation?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Your definition?
Speaker 5 (14:21):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So the kids still see their their their father, their dad.
Speaker 6 (14:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
What if it is fifty to fifty custody, so like
one week on, one week off, is that mom still
a single mom?
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Yeah? If she's not married, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Okay, can believe. What's your definition?
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah, it's the simplest of terms. If you are not married,
you are single. If you have children, you are a mom.
I don't think that it's shading the father or the
other parents on how they parent. I don't. I just
I don't know. I see it in a far simpler way.
So my definition is one parent is single, they have children,
(15:01):
they care for that children. They may not have full
cus today they may have full I don't even go there.
That's a single parent.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
To me, I agree with you all, so a single
mom to me, So I think there's I think there
is levels to single mom this though, right, because you
can be a single mom and not have much support, right,
and some of those single moms overcome it and it
(15:30):
makes them stronger and their kids are like in all
of their mom doing it all right, single mom, there
isn't another person in the picture.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
That's that.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
And then single mom and single dad because they were
once married and now they're divorced. So during the time
that the father has a children, he is a single dad,
and the time that the mom has the children, she
is a single mom because they are the one parenting
(16:03):
the child at that point in time. Without really referring
back to the other human the adults, right, they're making
decisions so that they're they're single. That's my definition of
single mom.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
That.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah. So what a man saying he's a single dad
get the same backlash?
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Probably not, I think they'd be praise for him. Oh
you're a single dad, you're doing it all by yourself.
Speaker 5 (16:32):
Good for you.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
Yeah, because a single mom they get teared down all
the time much likes he you or what.
Speaker 5 (16:42):
Not having a partner for anything.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Yeah, there's different standards on mom's and dad. I'm over it.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Yeah. I also think that men and I could be wrong,
but that men aren't necessarily on social talking about beings father.
I think that men, how men show up and social
media is a little bit different sometimes than women. And
I think that women are quicker to tear another woman
down than a man is to tear another man down.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
So interesting, take are you saying this was brought upon
it's brought upon anyone that will go on speaking about
single motherhood.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Oh are you saying that it was brought upon her
because she was taught potentially?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah? Yes, okay, all right, Well anyway, we're sending love
and light right to any of the moms that are
just experiencing over criticism for everything that they do, and
the dads and the dads yes, all right. So the
last video, which was really the talk of the week,
it might be the divorce of the century. So you're
(17:57):
in the front row with the head of HR look
like a LinkedIn scandal with a Spotify We're not the.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Front, right, They were in their company's sweet box. So
not the front row yep.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
So yeah, okay, here are my thoughts. Here my question.
Why are people still messing around at work in twenty
twenty five, Like we don't have slack receipts, cameras and
burner accounts.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
I think I think people having relationships in the workplace
is very common, and that's what they right, common, I mean,
unfortunately most people. But one time, why is that the case?
Because people spend more time at work than anywhere else.
So if you're at work five times a week or
(18:43):
five days a week, seven days, whatever it is, you're
spending more time in the workplace with people than your
own family and your own friends. So I think it
is possible for those friendships to develop into something more.
And I don't think that that's necessarily a bad thing.
I have worked for companies where that is not against
(19:04):
the bylaws of that company. Now there are rules in
place saying, well, if you're the supervisor, you can't data
support and you can support it absolutely, But so I
don't think it's a bad thing. I've worked with couples,
they're married, they work for the same company, they're very professional.
I think it's okay, and I think it's common, and
I think it will continue to be common.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I do too. I do too. And sometimes it's like
so working at previous companies, right, I know people that
have met at the organization and are now married and
have their kids, and some people like that's why they
go to an organization to meet friends, meet a speuse
and it is normal as long as you report it.
(19:48):
This is something different, that this is something different. So
what happens when power dynamics and personal relationships collide?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
I think exactly see here. I mean they've now since
both resigned. I think that again, it's it didn't help
that she's part of the C suite, so that was
her boss. It certainly doesn't well, I don't know. I
don't know, gosh, because I don't know either one of them.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
We're just going off of this idea.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
But I mean, there could have been there could have
been some light flirting on both ends, you know, and
maybe it just yeah, you know, meshed in and happened.
The thing that just makes it worse here is that
they're both married.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
So and she's married to a very in a very
wealthy family. There was a speculation of, like if they
were separated divorced whatever, but yeah, shown up that she's married.
They're both married. Yea, So people who look like each
other each other. Yeah, yeah, they need some spice in
your life. But the question is like, why don't you
(21:04):
just end it?
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Yeah, if you're both married and you're in marriages where
you're neither's happy in the marriage because it may have
the bloodback may not have been as big if they
weren't both having affairs, because then it becomes a moral issue.
It's like, how how can I trust you?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Save that for a second, because that's my next question. Okay, yeah,
that's my next question. Honestly, you all, I'm seeing it
very very often where there's you know, affairs, and the
folks that are in the affairs, they don't want to
leave their families. They enjoy saying I am married, I
do have a wife, I do have a husband, And
that's why the divorces aren't happening.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
They enjoy it until they get caught, because then who's
enjoying it then? And the pain that you've now caused
everybody in your family as a result of you wanting
to have it both ways?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
So would this had been different if they weren't caught
on the Jungle Tron and it just kind of like
came out because there really sometimes people get the divorce
based off of just the humiliation. If it happened behind
closed door, maybe they were, you know, in a hotel.
It's like, okay, let's go to therapy, work this out. Yeah,
amplified on a huge stage.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Globally globally memes every day, countless memes.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, So so the reputation is going to be tainted, ye,
both of them. But can I just transition to something
that is not here? You know who came across my
feet that also stopped me? Monica Lewinsky, Yeah, yeah, her.
She has a podcast called like Reclaiming Something Something Something.
She has some really you know, high caliber guests on
(22:40):
her podcast, and they kind of share stories on you know,
them being so low and how they climb back to
the top where you know, whatever behavior they did in
their professional career impacted their personal career. Right, So, if
(23:01):
Monica were a black women, do you think she would
have been sent to another country? And do you think
she would be able to rebuild the way she had rebuilt?
She went on a circuit on her to promote her podcast,
and the guess she's getting a very high quality.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
So would she have been excommunicated. I don't think a
black person would have been excommunicated, but she wouldn't have
had the the comeback that. I don't think she would
have the same comeback that Monica's having.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
It's been over thirty years, so you know.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I don't know if to come back because it's been.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
So so long. So some people don't know who she is, right,
they don't know what happened in nineteen ninety eight. They
might not have been born.
Speaker 5 (23:46):
Was it that?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yeah, ninety eight, Okay, I was in high school or
something like that. That was a big deal. But tying
this into the humiliation part, right, it was everywhere, right,
we knew we know Hillary was humiliated, right. Bill was
denying it at first, typical right, and then I don't
(24:10):
know what Monica was saying, but there was no denial,
so it was just out for everyone in the papers,
in the news. There wasn't social then. So it's the
same thing with the CEO. If things happened behind closed doors,
can we get over it easier and with her remedy?
Speaker 5 (24:31):
I think so? I think so, yeah, because.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
People judge you, right, if you're like, why Hillary is
still with Bill?
Speaker 5 (24:41):
She was judged.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Yeah, I think only if no one professionally found out,
if it just stayed amongst those two and their spouses,
then maybe nobody else would know about it work through it.
They could have potentially worked through it. But because it,
you know, it's going to affect the business. I mean
(25:03):
there were there have been clients that said we're not
doing business with this company anymore before the guy actually
resigned because they're like, you know, morally he's terrible.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
First, so before that, right, should CEOs be held to
a higher moral standards?
Speaker 5 (25:20):
Yes, of course, yep, okay, yeah, that was quick.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Absolutely, I agree. Y'all ready to roll into the yeah
or game. If someone fully alters their appearance and lifestyle,
they can claim a new race, yeah or not. A
person can claim anything they want to claim. Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
That's my answer.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Okay, if we know what previously I have to say, if.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
They go someplace that nobody knows him, then they can maybe.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
But other people know you.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, So if I don't know you, I'm just gonna
take it for face value and that's it. Women still
get judged harder than men for parenting choices yeah or not? Yes, yes, yes,
once you go viral for a lie, you the internet
and explanation.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
No, you don't know the internet anything anybody that listen. Okay,
I think most people on the Internet are lying.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
If you're in the public eye celebrity wise, I would
say yes, but a regular, regular person and it just
happens to go viral.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
No, the realty lives in the comment section, not the content.
Yeah or not? Oh yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh yeah,
oh yeah, I go right to the comments. Oh maybe, okay,
So arguing with people in the comments, you're nah, I'm
not arguing with No. Sharing a location with your booth
is either love or seve Those are only two options,
(26:42):
only two options.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I never feel like it's a it's surveillance. I share everything.
I have nothing to.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Happ Okay, I'm gonn follow I'm gonna do a follow
up question for you. Then, are you currently sharing locations
with your partner?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
My partner knows where I am twenty four.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Seven, But is it sharing locations on phone?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I would m francis love or surveillance. If it's between
those two, it would be love. So from my perspective,
mm hmm it's for surveillance. From his perspective, it's for
love and safety. You use Google to diagnose yourself before
(27:19):
the doctor? Yep, yes, I try not to, but I
like to see if it's like something so serious. Can
you just do one episode.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Only if I'm constrained on time. Otherwise, if it's good,
I'm binging.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
I'm as Francis.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yeah, I don't start episodes less I got hours. It's
a not for me. Okay, this has been so fun.
I love chiming in on just kind of what's happening
in the world because I know that it affects us
in so many different ways, whether it is for entertainment purposes,
distraction purposes, what to do and what not to do,
(27:58):
and just seeing how folks are living their lives is
pretty interesting. And to hear the rest of the episode,
tune into Shamelessly Chante's YouTube chant you're listening to shamelessly Chante, right.
Speaker 7 (28:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
The proceeding was a paid commercial by Black Girl's sun
Screen
The following is a paid commercial by Black Girl's Sunscreen.
The views expressed are those of the sponsor and not
iHeartMedia or this station. Welcome to Shamelessly Chantey with your
host Chante Lundy.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Good money. You're listening to shamless see Chante and I'm
your host, Shanta Lundy. So the other night I was
scrolling minding my moisturized business and three videos stopped me cold.
First up, a black woman who has how do I
say this, politely opted out fully transformed herself into a
(00:41):
white woman, not bi racial, not racially ambiguous, just white.
And according to her, she's never been black, not a drop,
not a memory, not a mood, and somehow she's serious.
Then there's Tia Mauri, who referred to herself as a
single mother, which technically she is and that's debatable. So
(01:02):
we're gonna talk about that today. And the internet came
for her at like she tried to revoke Father's Day,
y'all like lots of rhetoric on that. The discourse was loud, aggressive,
and honestly, well, I can't say honestly, but it could
be unnecessary. So I can't wait to hear your thoughts
on this and then finally, we can't ignore this moment
(01:23):
the CEO caught front row at a Coldplay concert, not
with his wife, not with a work badge, but with
the head of HR. So let's say the synergy was unethical.
So today I'm shamelessy chante. We're asking the real questions.
(01:43):
Who gets to choose their identity? Why is motherhood under
a microscope? And where did the workforce turn into a
dating pool with stock options? Because social media doesn't just
show us trends, it shows us the truth, and the
truth is I don't know, y'all. It's getting wild out there.
(02:04):
So today you're going to be listening to our take
on social moments. Francis Kimberly, y'all ready to get in it?
I'm ready, yes, okay. So first off, the black woman
that has transformed into a white woman. This isn't Rachel
Jozel cosplay here, y'all remember Rachel Jozel? Okay? Yep, I
hope I'm pronouncing her name her last name right. This
(02:26):
is a full lifestyle pivot, and I mean commit it,
like commit it. Bleach skinned, altered features, voice changes, and
even new family photos. Oh I can't even believe it anyway,
we won't address them. Y'all know what I'm talking about.
So what does that say about identity? When someone feels
(02:48):
safer or more successful claiming whiteness than blackness, do we
think is it self hate, delusion or dangerous performance.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
All of the above. I don't think it's one thing.
I think it could be something different for every person
that has gone through that. I think it's difficult to
understand because I do think it's so layered. We live
in a racialized world. I mean that is just the reality,
and I think how that affects people, it can be
(03:20):
very painful for some, and how it then shows up
is going to differ. I don't know what happened to
that woman to take her there, but you can't ignore
that racism exists. Colorism exists, and that can show up
in simple ways, so just choosing to straighten your hair,
(03:42):
changing your hair color, changing your eye color. But when
you go as far as doing like all of the
above and completely walking away from your race, your color
and saying, oh, I was never that, there's something deeply
flawed there that may have happened with that woman. But
I think it is a much bigger and broader issue
(04:02):
because it is. It is a result of the world
that we live in. And I think that people still
want to ignore that colorism exists. It exists here, it
exists in other countries, and it shows up in many
different ways.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Do you think we can truly ever opt out of
being black?
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Not if you have children? Okay, okay, because genetics are genetics.
Absolutely so she could marry the whitest of white and
her genetics are going to come through.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yep, racers. Have you seen the video?
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I did, And I'm just floored because I will never
ever deny my blackness. Love it for her. I just
wonder what happened in her life that got her to
that point, and if she considered therapy to try to
talk and figure things out, because this is just so drastic.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Well do we equate it to becoming trand and changing
you know, our sex? Is it something different or is
it the same? That's a good question, I would.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Well, it's how you view yourself though, right, if you're true,
being true to yourself in who you believe yourself to
be authentically, and if that's a different sex, then maybe so.
But I don't know. I think changing your race, I
think that's different.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I really do.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
And some people might do it out of safety. They
just feel like, you know, this is how for me
to feel secure, I need to distance myself from my race,
which is very, very sad. For some it might be
a way that they feel accepted. I mean in society.
You know, if you are of a particular race, then
(05:54):
you might have it a little bit easier, you might
be accepted a little bit more in the workplace. I
mean again, it is so layered, it is.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
But you know, let me get closer. So when when
changing your sex, right, I hear that the reason is
because I am that already mentally right from a man
to woman, woman to a man, right. So can a
white person, a black person, whatever type of whatever race
you are, can mentally they say I'm not I'm not
(06:24):
a black woman, I am a white woman. I am
I am this, and that is that what we're seeing here.
I know, Kim believe you think it's not right, but.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
No, I mean, I just it again, it's nuanced. I
think it can be different for different people. I I
identify with my blackness, and that goes beyond just the
color of my skin. Sure though it's my experiences, it's
it's the culture, it's my family. There's there's so much
to being black beyond color of your skin. So if
(06:55):
you think you can just walk away from that and
identify as something very different, I don't know how you
do that unless your life is just very.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
Bleak and pain And I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Did we read if people were co signing for her
in the comments.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
I didn't see the comments on it. I was just
I was stuck on the video. Yeah, I was stuck
on the video. And I don't even think that I can.
I don't even think that I can try to figure
out what brought her to this point because my mindset,
(07:34):
it can't even go there. I just think something and
I'm guessing, of course, but something traumatic had to have
happened to her, because then it's like, what about your family,
what about your history? You have a mom, you have
a dad, you may have siblings.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
They might accept her. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Maybe. I mean, I think it says a lot about society.
I think it says a lot about the world we
live in. I did read the comments, and there were
plenty of comments from people saying, oh my god, she's
so beautiful now, so that played right into why she
did it, I think, so there were definitely a variety,
and there's certainly there were people that came for her like, wow,
(08:12):
that's a terrible thing. I feel sorry for you. But
I was disappointed at the number of people that actually
were like, she's so pretty now now.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Yeah, now, But sometimes the prettiness comes from within.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
It does, it does, But we also know that people
don't often care about them within in the world we
live in.
Speaker 6 (08:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yeah, that video took me by surprise. It literally stopped
me in my school because I was like, wait, what
does this headline say? But it's not the first case, right,
We've seen folks transition, not transition, but kind of you know,
identify with something else than than what they were born with.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Well, we also see people make these changes and they
don't then say, well, I'm no longer black. But we've
certainly seen notable people who have as they've become more successful,
their skin tone has changed and has gotten lighter, and
how they present themselves has certainly changed over the years.
(09:18):
And it's like, but people don't necessarily say too much
about it, you know, but there are plenty. There are
people in the sports world, people in the entertainment world, and.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Peopould just talk behind the right.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
That's the problem.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
That's the problem behind the back, Because if we're friends,
why wouldn't you say anything?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
You would ask me, hey, you bleaching your skin? Or
what's going on?
Speaker 5 (09:47):
Be more tasteful with it, you know?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
But yeah, what would you say to me?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I would ask, like, is something you know I've noticed
a change? I would I have never had anybody close
to me that has done that, so I'd have to
really think about how I would approach it. But I
do think it speaks to something else that is going
on with that person, and you can't ignore I mean,
the bleaching cream industry is like a multi billion dollar
(10:17):
global industry, Like people do it all the time. So
but I do think it speaks to something else driving it,
and it's usually around racism, colorism, all of those things.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Not living themselves. No, So, Kimberly, what's happening at Black
Girl Sunscreen?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Yeah, so we wanted to talk again about BGS Baby,
And the great thing about BGS Baby is of course
the incredibly ultranourishing formula right that has the camamel and
the she butter. But I bring this up again because
recently we had somebody ask us at an event about
(10:55):
the best sun protection for her because she has eczema
and she is experiencing a flare up and she was
asking if we had one hundred percent mineral formula. So
I told her about BGS Baby, and I think what
people need to remember is that if you do have
really sensitive skin, our baby formula as well as our
BGS Kids formula is ideal for you. So when you're
(11:19):
having those flare ups, if you have eczema, our one
mineral formula with BGS Baby is perfect because of the
nourishing and calming ingredients.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Education starts very early, does and from the parents. So
I'm hoping that BGS Baby hits home with our moms
and our dads out there and they're protecting their children
very early. I know this is something that parents are
doing and wearing the clothing so from the hats to
(11:49):
the to the on sees, making sure the umbrella is
down on the stroller. But couple it up with our
BGS Baby mineral formula absolutely okay. And listening to Si
Chante all right.
Speaker 6 (12:06):
If you want to protect your skin, cry, make sure
you get some black Girls sign scram Black Girl, Yuron
Gardan Dodge sign bab just flat on your black girls
sun scary black black, don't crack it doesn't Black people
get some birds too. As my cousin, you want to
protect your skin, cry, make sure you get some black girls.
(12:28):
Sign scram blacky g bab just girls.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Some folks weren't loving Tia Maori this past week and
Tiya who called herself a single mom and got dragged
through digital hell for it. Some folks said she was
being disrespectful to her ex. Others said she was playing
the victim. But here's the thing. She didn't say she
(12:55):
was a solo mom. She said she's single, and last
we all checked, she's divorced and it's not a couple's refeet.
So is this semantics? What do we think this is?
Why are women always policing how they describe their experiences
(13:16):
even when it's factual.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
I really don't understand it. It seems so silly to me.
I mean, she is a divorced woman, she is single,
and she's taking care of her children. I don't know
enough about her to know whether or not she was
in any way intending to shade her ex. I don't
know if he hasn't been the greatest father. I do
(13:41):
find it interesting though, that people are picking apart her words,
and yeah, I don't understand that at all.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
So I give you something better. I give you something better. Ready,
So let's remove her out of the conversation. What is
our definition of a single mom? Forget where her status is,
who's who she was married to? In our lives? Right?
And what we see? What is the single mom?
Speaker 5 (14:07):
Mom at home taking care of the kids, doing it all?
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Primary parent?
Speaker 5 (14:12):
Primary parent?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Okay, do the kids see their father on the weekends.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
In my situation?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Your definition?
Speaker 5 (14:21):
Yep?
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So the kids still see their their their father, their dad.
Speaker 6 (14:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
What if it is fifty to fifty custody, so like
one week on, one week off, is that mom still
a single mom?
Speaker 5 (14:34):
Yeah? If she's not married, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Okay, can believe. What's your definition?
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Yeah, it's the simplest of terms. If you are not married,
you are single. If you have children, you are a mom.
I don't think that it's shading the father or the
other parents on how they parent. I don't. I just
I don't know. I see it in a far simpler way.
So my definition is one parent is single, they have children,
(15:01):
they care for that children. They may not have full
cus today they may have full I don't even go there.
That's a single parent.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
To me, I agree with you all, so a single
mom to me, So I think there's I think there
is levels to single mom this though, right, because you
can be a single mom and not have much support, right,
and some of those single moms overcome it and it
(15:30):
makes them stronger and their kids are like in all
of their mom doing it all right, single mom, there
isn't another person in the picture.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
That's that.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
And then single mom and single dad because they were
once married and now they're divorced. So during the time
that the father has a children, he is a single dad,
and the time that the mom has the children, she
is a single mom because they are the one parenting
(16:03):
the child at that point in time. Without really referring
back to the other human the adults, right, they're making
decisions so that they're they're single. That's my definition of
single mom.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
That.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah. So what a man saying he's a single dad
get the same backlash?
Speaker 4 (16:24):
Probably not, I think they'd be praise for him. Oh
you're a single dad, you're doing it all by yourself.
Speaker 5 (16:32):
Good for you.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
Yeah, because a single mom they get teared down all
the time much likes he you or what.
Speaker 5 (16:42):
Not having a partner for anything.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Yeah, there's different standards on mom's and dad. I'm over it.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Yeah. I also think that men and I could be wrong,
but that men aren't necessarily on social talking about beings father.
I think that men, how men show up and social
media is a little bit different sometimes than women. And
I think that women are quicker to tear another woman
down than a man is to tear another man down.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
So interesting, take are you saying this was brought upon
it's brought upon anyone that will go on speaking about
single motherhood.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Oh are you saying that it was brought upon her
because she was taught potentially?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah? Yes, okay, all right, Well anyway, we're sending love
and light right to any of the moms that are
just experiencing over criticism for everything that they do, and
the dads and the dads yes, all right. So the
last video, which was really the talk of the week,
it might be the divorce of the century. So you're
(17:57):
in the front row with the head of HR look
like a LinkedIn scandal with a Spotify We're not the.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Front, right, They were in their company's sweet box. So
not the front row yep.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
So yeah, okay, here are my thoughts. Here my question.
Why are people still messing around at work in twenty
twenty five, Like we don't have slack receipts, cameras and
burner accounts.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
I think I think people having relationships in the workplace
is very common, and that's what they right, common, I mean,
unfortunately most people. But one time, why is that the case?
Because people spend more time at work than anywhere else.
So if you're at work five times a week or
(18:43):
five days a week, seven days, whatever it is, you're
spending more time in the workplace with people than your
own family and your own friends. So I think it
is possible for those friendships to develop into something more.
And I don't think that that's necessarily a bad thing.
I have worked for companies where that is not against
(19:04):
the bylaws of that company. Now there are rules in
place saying, well, if you're the supervisor, you can't data
support and you can support it absolutely, But so I
don't think it's a bad thing. I've worked with couples,
they're married, they work for the same company, they're very professional.
I think it's okay, and I think it's common, and
I think it will continue to be common.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I do too. I do too. And sometimes it's like
so working at previous companies, right, I know people that
have met at the organization and are now married and
have their kids, and some people like that's why they
go to an organization to meet friends, meet a speuse
and it is normal as long as you report it.
(19:48):
This is something different, that this is something different. So
what happens when power dynamics and personal relationships collide?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
I think exactly see here. I mean they've now since
both resigned. I think that again, it's it didn't help
that she's part of the C suite, so that was
her boss. It certainly doesn't well, I don't know. I
don't know, gosh, because I don't know either one of them.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
We're just going off of this idea.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
But I mean, there could have been there could have
been some light flirting on both ends, you know, and
maybe it just yeah, you know, meshed in and happened.
The thing that just makes it worse here is that
they're both married.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
So and she's married to a very in a very
wealthy family. There was a speculation of, like if they
were separated divorced whatever, but yeah, shown up that she's married.
They're both married. Yea, So people who look like each
other each other. Yeah, yeah, they need some spice in
your life. But the question is like, why don't you
(21:04):
just end it?
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Yeah, if you're both married and you're in marriages where
you're neither's happy in the marriage because it may have
the bloodback may not have been as big if they
weren't both having affairs, because then it becomes a moral issue.
It's like, how how can I trust you?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Save that for a second, because that's my next question. Okay, yeah,
that's my next question. Honestly, you all, I'm seeing it
very very often where there's you know, affairs, and the
folks that are in the affairs, they don't want to
leave their families. They enjoy saying I am married, I
do have a wife, I do have a husband, And
that's why the divorces aren't happening.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
They enjoy it until they get caught, because then who's
enjoying it then? And the pain that you've now caused
everybody in your family as a result of you wanting
to have it both ways?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
So would this had been different if they weren't caught
on the Jungle Tron and it just kind of like
came out because there really sometimes people get the divorce
based off of just the humiliation. If it happened behind
closed door, maybe they were, you know, in a hotel.
It's like, okay, let's go to therapy, work this out. Yeah,
amplified on a huge stage.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Globally globally memes every day, countless memes.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, So so the reputation is going to be tainted, ye,
both of them. But can I just transition to something
that is not here? You know who came across my
feet that also stopped me? Monica Lewinsky, Yeah, yeah, her.
She has a podcast called like Reclaiming Something Something Something.
She has some really you know, high caliber guests on
(22:40):
her podcast, and they kind of share stories on you know,
them being so low and how they climb back to
the top where you know, whatever behavior they did in
their professional career impacted their personal career. Right, So, if
(23:01):
Monica were a black women, do you think she would
have been sent to another country? And do you think
she would be able to rebuild the way she had rebuilt?
She went on a circuit on her to promote her podcast,
and the guess she's getting a very high quality.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
So would she have been excommunicated. I don't think a
black person would have been excommunicated, but she wouldn't have
had the the comeback that. I don't think she would
have the same comeback that Monica's having.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
It's been over thirty years, so you know.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
I don't know if to come back because it's been.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
So so long. So some people don't know who she is, right,
they don't know what happened in nineteen ninety eight. They
might not have been born.
Speaker 5 (23:46):
Was it that?
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yeah, ninety eight, Okay, I was in high school or
something like that. That was a big deal. But tying
this into the humiliation part, right, it was everywhere, right,
we knew we know Hillary was humiliated, right. Bill was
denying it at first, typical right, and then I don't
(24:10):
know what Monica was saying, but there was no denial,
so it was just out for everyone in the papers,
in the news. There wasn't social then. So it's the
same thing with the CEO. If things happened behind closed doors,
can we get over it easier and with her remedy?
Speaker 5 (24:31):
I think so? I think so, yeah, because.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
People judge you, right, if you're like, why Hillary is
still with Bill?
Speaker 5 (24:41):
She was judged.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
Yeah, I think only if no one professionally found out,
if it just stayed amongst those two and their spouses,
then maybe nobody else would know about it work through it.
They could have potentially worked through it. But because it,
you know, it's going to affect the business. I mean
(25:03):
there were there have been clients that said we're not
doing business with this company anymore before the guy actually
resigned because they're like, you know, morally he's terrible.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
First, so before that, right, should CEOs be held to
a higher moral standards?
Speaker 5 (25:20):
Yes, of course, yep, okay, yeah, that was quick.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Absolutely, I agree. Y'all ready to roll into the yeah
or game. If someone fully alters their appearance and lifestyle,
they can claim a new race, yeah or not. A
person can claim anything they want to claim. Mm hmm.
Speaker 5 (25:38):
That's my answer.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Okay, if we know what previously I have to say, if.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
They go someplace that nobody knows him, then they can maybe.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
But other people know you.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, So if I don't know you, I'm just gonna
take it for face value and that's it. Women still
get judged harder than men for parenting choices yeah or not? Yes, yes, yes,
once you go viral for a lie, you the internet
and explanation.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
No, you don't know the internet anything anybody that listen. Okay,
I think most people on the Internet are lying.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
If you're in the public eye celebrity wise, I would
say yes, but a regular, regular person and it just
happens to go viral.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
No, the realty lives in the comment section, not the content.
Yeah or not? Oh yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh yeah,
oh yeah, I go right to the comments. Oh maybe, okay,
So arguing with people in the comments, you're nah, I'm
not arguing with No. Sharing a location with your booth
is either love or seve Those are only two options,
(26:42):
only two options.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
I never feel like it's a it's surveillance. I share everything.
I have nothing to.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Happ Okay, I'm gonn follow I'm gonna do a follow
up question for you. Then, are you currently sharing locations
with your partner?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
My partner knows where I am twenty four.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Seven, But is it sharing locations on phone?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I would m francis love or surveillance. If it's between
those two, it would be love. So from my perspective,
mm hmm it's for surveillance. From his perspective, it's for
love and safety. You use Google to diagnose yourself before
(27:19):
the doctor? Yep, yes, I try not to, but I
like to see if it's like something so serious. Can
you just do one episode.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Only if I'm constrained on time. Otherwise, if it's good,
I'm binging.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
I'm as Francis.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yeah, I don't start episodes less I got hours. It's
a not for me. Okay, this has been so fun.
I love chiming in on just kind of what's happening
in the world because I know that it affects us
in so many different ways, whether it is for entertainment purposes,
distraction purposes, what to do and what not to do,
(27:58):
and just seeing how folks are living their lives is
pretty interesting. And to hear the rest of the episode,
tune into Shamelessly Chante's YouTube chant you're listening to shamelessly Chante, right.
Speaker 7 (28:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
The proceeding was a paid commercial by Black Girl's sun
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