Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
This podcast was recorded in the iHeartRadio line of Podcasting Center. It's your
girl, Courtneo, It's your bigdog, Matt Sanders. The difference between
me and you live your truth.I say, what's your truth? What
everybody else is thinkings say? Whatevercomes to your mind. We get sick,
(00:26):
can shop it up. But todaywe got time. I love that
boy. Yoh yo yo. It'syour girl, Courtneo. It's your big
dog, Matt Sanders, and weare here for another episode of spready thoughts.
(00:47):
We've been missing a little while,but not for real. We've been
keeping our ears to the streets.Yeah, we've been. Yeah, what's
up? What's your math math manmesh? For real? I feel good,
you know, yeah, no doubt. Let's start off with a brago.
The big dog ain't being under threehundred pounds in like eight years.
So I've been, you know,getting the gym a little bit is really
more. Eating better in the gym. I enjoy working out. It's a
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little yeah, But then y'all justgo by like seventeen hundred dollars worth of
snacks. Shut up. The shegot me up, Like, all right,
get some grocery something. We gonnaget some spinage and a shrimp.
Shrimp we got hella snacks. Listen, like a vending machine. Okay,
hey, it's all good. They'rejust snacking moderation and congratulations. Some salmon
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bites though, Okay, yeah,that'll do it. All that takes away
from every oreo get ball, right, Yeah, they're going. It's going
pretty good. I can't complain,you know, up early moving out of
mental the gym, you know.Yeah, so we get in there.
Okay's all I mean there, we'regood though, for reals, because like
a lot of people are agent matterof fact, you know, I don't
I don't want to talk about andlike all right, I'm just saying,
(01:57):
like a lot of dudes, they'dbe body shaming women. M they ain't
point that thumb right back there,because there's some ill built dudes out there
on spongeby bodybuilt. Yeah yeah,and like you got the nerve you you
can't say I think they got theGucci belt. Then it takes care of
Listen, brother, we still seethat, like boy, you got childbearing
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hips, right, fella, stopstop fixing your mouth to talk about our
sisters, because some of y'all y'allneed to be in the gym right along
with us too, So y'all don'tget you some spanks something sprains. Yeah,
trainer the other day kind of likean infrared infrared commercial, infra commercial
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infommercial. I'm like like, okay, yeah, I think they got a
little cheat code from man. Isaid, I've been not seeing any man
out there wearing like a girdle tryingto cover it. They have them,
they have and like, man,they're getting like I don't want to say
bbls, but like whatever term is, they're getting that, like six packs
and all that stuff. So fellas, you no longer have room to talk
(03:05):
about women because yeah, getting thatman in the can too. That was
really sporadic though, wasn't it.I love it? Yeah, but it's
all good. That's how he does. So yeah, speaking of sporadic,
I take it off a prime timecoach Sanders give it up. Okay,
the Phtorado University. So this pastweekend they wouldn't had defeated one of the
(03:30):
running up championships last shop. I'msaying, yeah, you know, very
high and on his first game,uh, his son broke the school record
five hundred and ten yards. Wow, four tds of the boy crazy Okay,
So for everybody who didn't believe wastrying to up stay he left for
the HBC. Yeah out here it'sit's a lot of Colorado fans out here,
(03:52):
a lot, right, And youknow what, just that can let
you know how one person can impactan entire organization everything. And I tip
my hat to him because he definitelyup against a lot of adversity, and
the way to just shut that adversityup is to win. He did,
Yeah, definitely shine on prime Time. Yeah he did. And he you
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know, he letting the Young Brothersshine. Yeah, eighty new recruits.
Yeah what oh man, he justbrought a whole everything in. Yeah.
For so they probably like money spentand like like what was it deal,
like twenty eight million and the schoolthey knew they didn't have the money at
all. They was just doing thaton a leap, right, But like
I was reading like the first timethey season tickets ever sold out and somebody
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had donated like twenty five million,like some kind of boosters. So like,
look how fast it just right back? Yeah. So if y'all don't
understand what a leap of faith is, just look at the whole Colorado organization
Dion Prime Time Sanders, see whatyou do for sure. Absolutely, we're
gonna change clothing. Okay, wewere gonna what are we putting out?
(05:00):
Sad moment? Okay, okay,let me let me just read this right
quick because I need y'all to understandwhat's going on. So let me now.
Okay, So maybe a couple ofweeks back, we had a child
during birth. The head was separatedfrom the doctor while trying to give birth
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to vaginal uh you know are typetime. Now, it came back to
the parents that the child didn't makeit yea, And apparently they found out
that the child's head was separated atfrom the morgue. The mortician was like,
did you guys know this? Sothe doctor put the head on the
baby, wrapped it up very tightly, let the parents hold it in everything
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like your child died, and thenthey found out after So now let me
read this. It's it's any yeah, that's it's it's wild, it's it's
sickening, it's it's frightening too.So according to the laws, so filed
on behalf of Jessica Ross, twentyyear old and tra ViOn Isaiah Taylor senior,
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twenty one of Riverdale, Georgian nowdoctor Tracy Saint Julian, applied excessive
force on the baby snack and headduring the attempt of vaginal delivery in early
July. So it was a littlemore than I got married. But but
to try to cover that up,like by how hard were you pulling?
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I mean a baby in a newbarn is absolutely the most fragile thing in
the whole wide world. But youshould have got to a point where you
stopped it and said, okay,let's do a s That was just doctor
professionals, Yeah, but educated thismight be too much of a pool.
Yeah, doctor can't get right,And I don't blame them that the young
couple, they should absolutely file chargesagainst the doctor the high middle Yeah,
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because that's just just gross negleg justand then try to cover it up like
real. It made me think,how many times have you done that?
Because how comfortable are you to belike or nobody? Look, get your
staff too, need to be charged? Yeah, everybody, let's go ahead
and just wrap this baby up reallytight. Yeah, see what happens.
Wow, you haven't done that before? To try to cover that up?
(07:17):
Yeah, Yeah, that's sick man. I feel sorry for the couple,
and I hope they get I mean, there's no amount of money, you
know, there's nothing. You know, they definitely need to be up compensated.
They're paying something suffering and probably bekind of post traumatic stress. Yeah,
absolutely, because they imagine they Okay, they get pregnant again, and
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imagine like the trauma that she's gonnago through during even want to do no
cool? Yeah no automatic c sectionor whatever? Like can I even go
through this? I didn want toadopt on her own? Natural? Yeah?
Yeah, you ain't got to thinkabout the after effects of that.
Yeah, that's sick. I couldn'timagine, not at all. And then
to hold the baby and like youknow how you yeah, like they really
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didn't notice because you know they're goingthrough their emotional grief. Yeah, you
know how tight you had to wrapthe baby like like your baby didn't die,
they kill your baby? Arenas?Oh they did. Yeah, they
did some things. But I definitelywanted to bring that up because of it
ran across mind my feed line andI was just like yeah, And another
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thing is women, make sure youtalk to your doctor, you know what
I mean, man, things fromyour doctor, because a lot of times
just because we think it's a doctor, you know, we give them this,
oh God, like they just they'reright. But those people don't know
(08:43):
your body. Like if you havediscomfort and concerned, you need to say
something, especially like you know,like the history of black women healthcare,
Like a lot of the times wewere used as experiments. And this even
goes back to like the nineteen eightieswhere like they're taking you know, women's
sales and they're sterilizing women and womennot even knowing damn, you know,
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so you have to all those whatthey call it up, all those women.
I don't know, I'm asking arethey needed all the time? I
mean yeah, and even like youknow, like Henrietta lacks the sales,
the story of Henrietta lacks. Wherethey looked at her sales, Yeah,
and they like they came up withvaccinations, cures for you know, different
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cancers, aids like her seals.The doctors unknowingly took her sales and experiment
it. See this Robbie Rocking record, right, knowledgeable and beautiful, she
hand it all like the you knowHenrietta fun facts. Henrietta lacks. Yeah,
the cells of Henrietta lacks, right, like the mix and I do
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research. Yeah, do it forreal. Damn, I'm like that.
Yeah, definitely. Message that wasdefinitely a big point message the girl miss
big big energy, Yeah, bigenergy for sure. That needs yeah yeah
yeah search that yeah yeah for real, Yeah definitely I'm with you, So
(10:13):
check it. I made a postlike always always speaking out. I'm not
sure we touched on it yet.It was a little while ago, but
we ain't been up here for aminute, Rightever, if someone has three
(10:33):
or four children and they all fallassist to the system of just the street
street world, is that more soon the parents? Okay, bring every
I don't think we talked about it. I don't think we talked about it.
It was big on the Yeah,I got a lot of your mouth.
Yeah, I'm like, but iffour three, four in a row,
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yeah, it's it's kind of it'sreal to you because it's like a
fine line. But I'm all abouttruth, you know, It's all about
truth. And my take on thisis, you know, being a parent
and having kids coming up now oldeighteen year old, seventeen, Ye'll be
eighteen next month. I think atsome point kids do have their own decision
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making definitely skills, but at somepoint those decisions reflect the parents. It
has to. Now we can implyas much as we want and can and
show them this is the way togo, but we're hoping when they're not
around us that they utilize. Yeah. I know I didn't right all the
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time, but I did keep whatever, you know, retaining me. But
at some point it does come backon parents, and I feel like,
yeah, and I think it's theenvironment as well, the environment trying to
raise a kid. Like we're luckywe don't live in a big city,
so it's really no inner city.Yeah, yeah, right that we have
to deal with like projects, youknow what I mean, say away from
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there, Yeah, you know whatI mean. So thankfully in Lima we
didn't have that issue, right exactly. Yeah, but no inner city or
outer city. You know, we'renot in a big city like that,
so we can have more of awhat's going on from people we know.
(12:31):
Yeah, but like the unfortunate thing, I know, like mothers in big
cities. I was reading an articlewhere mother had lost like three sons to
the streets, like kill to thestreets. You know, one son had
went, you know, tried todo the right thing. One son didn't
do the right thing, and theother son just kind of got caught up
in the right in the thing.But in that environment, okay, And
(12:54):
I I hate to see where peoplejust cannot get out of that environment because
they're I don't know, that isvery rough, because okay, I felt
subject to a lot of things thatwas going on around me just because it
was there that might have been theperson that I was, That might that
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this was the person that I hadto be maybe during that time, right,
But at some point in time,life is all about choice, yep.
It is, so you can chooseto be a part of it.
And then I understand you might seean older sibling and be like, oh,
I'm kind of following footsteps, butwho were they following them? Older
siblings got to be following what they'veseen or you know, been conditioned or
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lack of or lack of. Yeah, And I'll use like my growing up
for instance. Like I got anolder brother, went to the military,
did right thing, worked for theRed Road. Middle brother older than me,
he just can't get right for shit, you know what I mean?
He ended up dying in prison.But I talked to my mom and she
said she got to a point ain'twhere. She just got so tired of
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going through the system with him,like what else to do? And in
the ninth grade she ended up signinghim out of school. And I'm like
them, do you regret that?And she said, honestly, I do,
because I wish I would have pushedhim harder. But at that time,
you know what I mean, shedidn't mean that he would have went
you know you kind of yet exactly. And I say, it's a a
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yes and a yes yes and anoka. You know, so I'm kind
of like in the middle of that, I did one or two. But
if you got five kids and theyall vote the same route, yes,
that's something. I'm just gonna saythat something. Somebody gotta yes, somebody
got a chang. Yeah for real? Yeah, yeah, right, we
(14:50):
really tells what you think about that. You know, we're gonna we're just
gonna leave that there, depending onwhat y'all say. Yeah, just might
circle back. Yeah. But onother news, uh huh, because you
know two these words that right nowthey haven't enough to score. Go watch
up the score on two. Right. Apparently the Dirty d Stars Makiva in
(15:18):
A Games are no longer going tobe a part of season three. Well,
what's going on there? They're apretty big factor in that season.
And what's going on is that Bikeevaposted basically she wanted more money, we
weren't offering it, so they choseto walk. Now. I don't know
(15:41):
what they bring in, but Ihave an idea that twenty five thousand each
for the season was hell of much. I'm gonna say that right now.
Twenty five k for and they're onlylike six episodes. Yeah, you crazy
as as now, I don't doubtthat they bring in more viewers and things
(16:06):
of that nature, but I don'tthink a lot of people understand what it
takes and what you get paid fromthese. Yeah, yeah, break that
down to the public because they don'treally know because if we think it's a
free app, but yeah, it'sdefinitely not free. Somebody gotta exactly.
Yeah, so this is all publicinformation if you just do the dilegitive works.
But I'm giving to you though,So on a v o D,
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which is advertised paid you know,video on demands like to be or whatever
else, crackle something right that youget paid through ads. Now, every
ad at run is usually they paybetween seven and nine dollars not to the
filmmakers, but to the actual platform, right, okay, once they get
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their big ass chunk, let's justsay you might be about four cents per
view. Four cents per view,okay, So you know how many millions
and millions of streams you have tohave to make that to make anything bad?
(17:08):
So to pay twenty five k andthe Big Dog spent fifty six k
budget on up the score. Huh, I'm praying I can just break even.
But I did it off of justquality and want to get my workout
right. Happens, it happens.But the pace we're going, it's not
bad. We had a million pointone views last time I posted it like
(17:29):
a baby about a month back orsince per view y'all see, y'all do
yeah, do the math, Soy'all do the math. Yeah exactly,
But the big don't need about thirtymotherfucking million views, right, you know
what I mean? You know youbetter be glad. It ain't like the
algorithms on like Facebook and ship whereyou have to have a complete play Yeah
exactly, you know what I mean. So so make sure when you see
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them, mads, just let theads play out and then cut it off.
Yeah, you know, let thefilm makers get that man. And
that's some that don't tell people thatwe want to skip over the ax just
sitting there. So for twenty fiveK. Hey, they price is they
price? That's what they feel.Me and myself, she just got popping
two three years ago. And thatdon't mean you can't be good and great
(18:15):
at what you do. But Ithink you gotta understand. And she's gonna
find out because now she's making herown movies, which is good, right,
you know, don't find out itdon't come back the way you think
it's gonna come back like sevenfolds rightoff the hand exactly. Now, she
says she charged ten This is allwhat she posted because she charges ten thousand
per a movie. All right,it's not bad. It's not bad,
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you know. Me and myself,I would have found somebody with a higher
caliber that right, yeah, youknow me little weight. If it was
me, I had four I hadfour K for her. Now when it
comes to the movies, her standardwas ten K, and then I would
feel she should be probably about Idon't know, eight hundred to a thousand
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every episode, okay, because it'snot a lot of episodes right now,
The thing about that is it don'tmatter if you're in there for twenty seconds,
that's still eight hundred for the episodeor a thousand. That's where I
with myself would come with her likehere right, take that, yeah,
and that would round up to aboutokay, almost to her ten K standard.
Yeah, movie, Well, Iknow I got you. I wanted
to run you through that whole thing. I can't ye, so, and
(19:25):
you gotta think about it. Ihate people talking about because this this kind
of texts me. So I'm like, y'all don't really understand. I hear
people was talking about, like,oh, how do you respect you to
live? Not off for twenty fivek? You're only working seven days at
okay? How about this ten daysto make a movie? Yeah? So
if you got six movies lined up, you're doing twenty five k each backing
(19:47):
up and you ain't me work ninetydays out the year. Yeah, do
the math. What takes so longabout movies? It's the preparation, yaman
ain't hard, the preparation for it, and if how good you wanted to
look? Yeah, the film isthey don't take long. The script thirteen
days filmed in fifteen what's that twentyeight days, the whole movie in a
(20:10):
month. Yeah, it's just realand it's patience. Yeah, it's big
patients. So you know, wehave to have other hustles, We have
to have other things to fall backhole hobby until it turns. Yeah,
exactly. Been fortunate enough as longwith James where it's been a career.
But please believe that ain't the onlything she's worked on. Yeah, for
(20:30):
real, put out like four orfive movies this year and she still has
two more. That and before allthat, she probably was wearing scrubs somewhere.
Yeah. Yeah, she's still exotic, damn fast. Different type subs,
but like rubs right, yeah,scrub the ground they bought a month
back. I was scared, sorry, but you know, I just thought
(20:59):
I bring that upcause a hot topicright now though. But you don't get
paid a lot, you know,you don't get paid a lot. You
gotta have an extreme extreme bis right, it's a starting point, you know
what I mean, It's a buildingblock. No, for remember when Tyler
Perry was doing him plays in thebeginning, he was getting paid like that,
and he did that for a spendof like years, ten years.
He probably was bustling out his backTrump, take this back and then doing
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plays and that's what finally got himon, like somebody was like his grind
was non stopped and he was consistentwith his number yea and and like you
said, consistency, it pays off. And then you never know who's in
the room or who's watching, andyou get that phone call and then that
like everything can really change in theblink of an eye. It really can.
It really can. I'm gonna speakon it, because you never know
(21:47):
what can happen. Like I know, we get a lot of requests though,
like damn, why do we doa soundtrack for the movie? Honestly,
I read into a lot of pushbackof how do I get paid?
How I get well, when wedo a soundtrack, you get yeah,
when you just placement in the movie, that's just an opportunity. Yeah,
And a lot of people don't understandthat. And you know, even what
(22:08):
we do, like when we gospeaking and you know, like just outdoing
poetry. A lot of the timesI get paid, I've done stuff for
I haven't been paid, but italways comes back. I mean, I
don't care when you're moving in yourcraft and you're moving in your purpose.
It will always come back. Andsometimes we put a dollar amount on everything.
You miss your blessing by putting adollar amount on everything. Because when
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you're working and it's meant for you, trust and believe that money is gonna
come. Like provision, it's gonnabe. I ain't never been hungry because
I didn't did a free poem.Listen, I ain't never not ate because
I spoke somewhere free. This it'slike charity for real, displaying your skills
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and showing what I've got yea forreal. And then it gets to the
point sometime where people ask you yourpride and then you'll you know, sometimes
need justified my price or no,they will give you more than what you
was even expected. Sometimes you justgotta let it worry like h seven,
(23:15):
thank you right exactly. So sometimesyou're working your talent and your diligency,
it just speaks for itself. Youknow what big dog been in this bag,
I've been uh jumping into a littlebit. I got my first acting
role without giving it to myself.So playing a podcaster in a movie called
(23:36):
Springsville. Oh, Jason Parker ismy name, Jason Parker, the one
just let you know. All right, check me out in the movie out
Springsville, MO. Yeah, that'swhat's up. I'm proud of you.
Thank you. All right, maybewe'd be out here grind it, don't
I'm trying, you know, I'mtrying. Let me out here doing it,
(23:56):
but I wouldn't. And you knowwhat. I was talking and one
of my boys, and he waslike, if people really knew like the
way you, it looked like youprobably do thirty different things and one day
and I might be sitting at home. Yea, you don't break it down.
Yeah, well I'm doing. That'sit. And it's like strategic moves
(24:21):
now instead of seventy five thousand moves, I would rather make two or three
strategic moves. Just sit back andyeah, I'm not chasing it no more.
I'm gonna let it chase. Yeahfor real. Look you see how
much we've grown a lot, alot, a lot of I'm all here
for the journey. I can't wait. Just even being able to have a
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podcast in our heart radio. Yeah, definitely definitely a blessing. We got
to use this platform a little betterpeople to interview. But let's see what
else we got going down. Wego down down the auditions. I mean,
since we on it, go aheadand speak about it. What I
(25:07):
have thought about. October eighth,Lineman's Own Beautiful Man Treation Presents I Got
time today the new film. It'sgonna be at the Howard Johnson the Hotel
two to six, nineteen twenty RockmanRoad, Come Out, Come Come,
Come, rock get you a position. This movie is an action thriller,
(25:30):
suspense, extremely dope, and actuallyI just got interviewed by the Lineman News
today so I can give you allthis information because it's gonna come out in
anyways. But the movie is inspiredoff of one of my favorite movies,
Falling Down with Michael Duglass. Isay, go watch that because I decided
to do my own type of styleof the day female ly though. So
(25:53):
she's super stressed doing her thing anda series of events happen and then we
have to find out how much timeshe had that day. A series of
unfortunate events in y'all make sure y'allcome out and try out, because when
up the score came out, Idon't think people really thought it was gonna
happen, and they kind of,you know, shoot off the auditions and
everything so make sure you come onout and audition for your role because your
(26:18):
girl, Cortneo is gonna be thereand I'm going to get what's mine.
You better believe that. So goingout here and get with sorts see and
please yeah, like we need,we need everybody I want. My vision
is to make Linma very similar tothe independent filmmakers in Detroit and have it
(26:38):
here. We can do it.Yeah, we're just getting it wrong.
And give me about two more years. I bet we're gonna be line my
own. Yeah, a couple moreyear, about two more years, and
I swear it's like a new Linemaor something that's good because you know,
I'm south Side rider down on SouthSide. Yeah, but I went to
(26:59):
the East Side reunion. Okay thisweekend. I had a ball, and
you know, I went to schoolwith everybody anyway, so like I met
all the east Side kids. Reallywhen we went to South I'm a senior
and just you know, being ayounger daughter around here. But man,
I had a ball. It wasso little man. They had it popping.
And then I went back Saturday wasSunday, and they had a fish
(27:22):
fry. Some of the best fishI ever had in my life. But
it was just so welcoming, youknow, if everybody was kicking it.
I had Mims, I had MomLukes up there, my son. We
was all just hanging out. Muchlove to the east Side. Big ups
to y'all. Man, I'm I'meast Side. Now what y'all right,
I'm coming to get my shirt nextyear East right Corney East. You know
(27:44):
what I mean, South meets theEast. But yeah, it was all
good and it was real cool,real peaceful, and you could just tell
it was a lot of love inthat neighborhood, everybody growing up and stuff.
So yeah, definitely, you know, yeah, you know, incorporate
the oh, but just make it, you know, put our stink on.
Yeah, we're gonna put our footprintin this one. Yeah, definitely
put our footprintal it ain't hard todo. We just gotta through it.
(28:07):
The doors are opening up, andif the doors ain't opening up, we're
gonna kick them. These stones becausethey're talking about to seat at the table.
Were building our own tape on nowcome come, come, come join
us. You know what you need. Yeah, there is something else I
wanted to speak on real quick andit and it kind of threw me off,
(28:30):
but I understood it. But itwas also like, m So,
do you think being cheated on cantraumatize you? Hell? Yeah, absolutely,
all right, let's talk about becausetrust is shoes. Okay, whoever
you end up with next is gonnacatch hell. It messes with your confidence,
(28:53):
It messes with you go through it. You go through it, you
know what I mean? It does, and it does, And I think
it's all about how you take thingsbecause what I've learned, cheating is usually
not about the person that's being cheatedon. It's something in the person that
(29:15):
cheating, you know what I mean. It's something in them, like okay,
so it's not like like say wetogether, Okay, I've me together
and I'm like, I'm doing mything. But it's not like, oh,
she don't appreciate me. It's morelike there's something about me I don't
like and I'm out here it's yourdemons, okay, right, And I've
I've learned that because I had adirty ass, yeah baby father, and
(29:41):
right, you know what I mean, And he cheated with some of anybody
and everybody, and it messed withmy confidence because ye see so so because
it's the good, right, Sowhat if like you feel they cheated with
someone. Man, I just arepeat. Yeah, I'm looking at the
mirror, like I know, Idon't look like no sharpey like do me
(30:07):
like that? You know, butit's just something. Maybe it's just the
opportunity. Yeah, just stroke ofthe ego. That too, I think
that's it's definitely a stroke of theego. And you make a choice to
do that. Shit, No,no, you definitely. It's about a
choice, that's all. It's alwaysa choice. I don't care what nobody's
Yeah, you know what you're doingregardless. Yeah, it's just I don't
(30:30):
know what. Listen, that messwith my confidence so bad in my early
twenties and my twenties. That messedwith my confidence so much because I'm like,
for real, I guess I needto apologize who ever posted that.
I was like, yeah, forreal, that would even like, okay,
think the most beautiful women and themost hope some women have been right,
(30:53):
you know what I mean? Yeah, so that will mess up your
confidence. And like I've never reallytalk to too many dudes that is willing
to share this, like keep beingcheated, but you know that mess with
this confidence too. If I haveto you know what, I don't know
what I'm knowing myself. I'm sureit's partly happening before in life, but
(31:14):
that that uh if it was apattern. Yeah yeah, and especially for
the the man that that accepted itand went back. You know what,
I got a partner, and Ican see it all over their face.
So you're right, Yeah, Ican see like the confidence gone to everything,
like everything, and you really haveto talk to self to build it
(31:36):
back up. Yeah, because it'snothing, nobody, there's nothing to tell
you. Keep going yeah, yeah, right, and you don't know,
like I don't knew, and keepgoing back like I don't know anything.
Yeah, we see the outside,Yeah, outside, I don't know.
They might be holding them down orwhatever. Would I just be like why
why? Yep? And then oneday something will click and you'll just that's
(31:57):
for that I care get pay you. It'll click and then you'll just walk
away. Yeah, you will walkaway in so much peace and not even
care about what's going on. ForI have been there. I know in
that moment you walk away, youget that aha moment where you decide to
walk away. It is nothing thatcan draw you back to that situation and
(32:20):
It's like when you see that person, you look at him like all I
visualizes, Wait except when she walkingaway with righting that car on fire?
Who she walking you? Yeah,that moment. But even when you get
to the point where you walk awayand you don't even wish bad on the
person, like good life, highfives, you can have everything. I'm
done, like Tina, turn aroundon number my name, that's it,
(32:40):
that's it. You get right upnow. Yeah, it gets to that
point like you didn't beat me downso much. I can't do number.
Get my ass up. That's it. That's it. You're ugly so and
it's your girl. Crickiolus Coin.This podcast was recorded in the iHeartRadio Podcasting
(33:09):
Center. Thanks for listening.
This podcast was recorded in the iHeartRadio line of Podcasting Center. It's your
girl, Courtneo, It's your bigdog, Matt Sanders. The difference between
me and you live your truth.I say, what's your truth? What
everybody else is thinkings say? Whatevercomes to your mind. We get sick,
(00:26):
can shop it up. But todaywe got time. I love that
boy. Yoh yo yo. It'syour girl, Courtneo. It's your big
dog, Matt Sanders, and weare here for another episode of spready thoughts.
(00:47):
We've been missing a little while,but not for real. We've been
keeping our ears to the streets.Yeah, we've been. Yeah, what's
up? What's your math math manmesh? For real? I feel good,
you know, yeah, no doubt. Let's start off with a brago.
The big dog ain't being under threehundred pounds in like eight years.
So I've been, you know,getting the gym a little bit is really
more. Eating better in the gym. I enjoy working out. It's a
(01:10):
little yeah, But then y'all justgo by like seventeen hundred dollars worth of
snacks. Shut up. The shegot me up, Like, all right,
get some grocery something. We gonnaget some spinage and a shrimp.
Shrimp we got hella snacks. Listen, like a vending machine. Okay,
hey, it's all good. They'rejust snacking moderation and congratulations. Some salmon
(01:33):
bites though, Okay, yeah,that'll do it. All that takes away
from every oreo get ball, right, Yeah, they're going. It's going
pretty good. I can't complain,you know, up early moving out of
mental the gym, you know.Yeah, so we get in there.
Okay's all I mean there, we'regood though, for reals, because like
a lot of people are agent matterof fact, you know, I don't
I don't want to talk about andlike all right, I'm just saying,
(01:57):
like a lot of dudes, they'dbe body shaming women. M they ain't
point that thumb right back there,because there's some ill built dudes out there
on spongeby bodybuilt. Yeah yeah,and like you got the nerve you you
can't say I think they got theGucci belt. Then it takes care of
Listen, brother, we still seethat, like boy, you got childbearing
(02:17):
hips, right, fella, stopstop fixing your mouth to talk about our
sisters, because some of y'all y'allneed to be in the gym right along
with us too, So y'all don'tget you some spanks something sprains. Yeah,
trainer the other day kind of likean infrared infrared commercial, infra commercial
(02:42):
infommercial. I'm like like, okay, yeah, I think they got a
little cheat code from man. Isaid, I've been not seeing any man
out there wearing like a girdle tryingto cover it. They have them,
they have and like, man,they're getting like I don't want to say
bbls, but like whatever term is, they're getting that, like six packs
and all that stuff. So fellas, you no longer have room to talk
(03:05):
about women because yeah, getting thatman in the can too. That was
really sporadic though, wasn't it.I love it? Yeah, but it's
all good. That's how he does. So yeah, speaking of sporadic,
I take it off a prime timecoach Sanders give it up. Okay,
the Phtorado University. So this pastweekend they wouldn't had defeated one of the
(03:30):
running up championships last shop. I'msaying, yeah, you know, very
high and on his first game,uh, his son broke the school record
five hundred and ten yards. Wow, four tds of the boy crazy Okay,
So for everybody who didn't believe wastrying to up stay he left for
the HBC. Yeah out here it'sit's a lot of Colorado fans out here,
(03:52):
a lot, right, And youknow what, just that can let
you know how one person can impactan entire organization everything. And I tip
my hat to him because he definitelyup against a lot of adversity, and
the way to just shut that adversityup is to win. He did,
Yeah, definitely shine on prime Time. Yeah he did. And he you
(04:14):
know, he letting the Young Brothersshine. Yeah, eighty new recruits.
Yeah what oh man, he justbrought a whole everything in. Yeah.
For so they probably like money spentand like like what was it deal,
like twenty eight million and the schoolthey knew they didn't have the money at
all. They was just doing thaton a leap, right, But like
I was reading like the first timethey season tickets ever sold out and somebody
(04:38):
had donated like twenty five million,like some kind of boosters. So like,
look how fast it just right back? Yeah. So if y'all don't
understand what a leap of faith is, just look at the whole Colorado organization
Dion Prime Time Sanders, see whatyou do for sure. Absolutely, we're
gonna change clothing. Okay, wewere gonna what are we putting out?
(05:00):
Sad moment? Okay, okay,let me let me just read this right
quick because I need y'all to understandwhat's going on. So let me now.
Okay, So maybe a couple ofweeks back, we had a child
during birth. The head was separatedfrom the doctor while trying to give birth
(05:25):
to vaginal uh you know are typetime. Now, it came back to
the parents that the child didn't makeit yea, And apparently they found out
that the child's head was separated atfrom the morgue. The mortician was like,
did you guys know this? Sothe doctor put the head on the
baby, wrapped it up very tightly, let the parents hold it in everything
(05:48):
like your child died, and thenthey found out after So now let me
read this. It's it's any yeah, that's it's it's wild, it's it's
sickening, it's it's frightening too.So according to the laws, so filed
on behalf of Jessica Ross, twentyyear old and tra ViOn Isaiah Taylor senior,
(06:09):
twenty one of Riverdale, Georgian nowdoctor Tracy Saint Julian, applied excessive
force on the baby snack and headduring the attempt of vaginal delivery in early
July. So it was a littlemore than I got married. But but
to try to cover that up,like by how hard were you pulling?
(06:30):
I mean a baby in a newbarn is absolutely the most fragile thing in
the whole wide world. But youshould have got to a point where you
stopped it and said, okay,let's do a s That was just doctor
professionals, Yeah, but educated thismight be too much of a pool.
Yeah, doctor can't get right,And I don't blame them that the young
couple, they should absolutely file chargesagainst the doctor the high middle Yeah,
(06:56):
because that's just just gross negleg justand then try to cover it up like
real. It made me think,how many times have you done that?
Because how comfortable are you to belike or nobody? Look, get your
staff too, need to be charged? Yeah, everybody, let's go ahead
and just wrap this baby up reallytight. Yeah, see what happens.
Wow, you haven't done that before? To try to cover that up?
(07:17):
Yeah, Yeah, that's sick man. I feel sorry for the couple,
and I hope they get I mean, there's no amount of money, you
know, there's nothing. You know, they definitely need to be up compensated.
They're paying something suffering and probably bekind of post traumatic stress. Yeah,
absolutely, because they imagine they Okay, they get pregnant again, and
(07:39):
imagine like the trauma that she's gonnago through during even want to do no
cool? Yeah no automatic c sectionor whatever? Like can I even go
through this? I didn want toadopt on her own? Natural? Yeah?
Yeah, you ain't got to thinkabout the after effects of that.
Yeah, that's sick. I couldn'timagine, not at all. And then
to hold the baby and like youknow how you yeah, like they really
(08:01):
didn't notice because you know they're goingthrough their emotional grief. Yeah, you
know how tight you had to wrapthe baby like like your baby didn't die,
they kill your baby? Arenas?Oh they did. Yeah, they
did some things. But I definitelywanted to bring that up because of it
ran across mind my feed line andI was just like yeah, And another
(08:22):
thing is women, make sure youtalk to your doctor, you know what
I mean, man, things fromyour doctor, because a lot of times
just because we think it's a doctor, you know, we give them this,
oh God, like they just they'reright. But those people don't know
(08:43):
your body. Like if you havediscomfort and concerned, you need to say
something, especially like you know,like the history of black women healthcare,
Like a lot of the times wewere used as experiments. And this even
goes back to like the nineteen eightieswhere like they're taking you know, women's
sales and they're sterilizing women and womennot even knowing damn, you know,
(09:03):
so you have to all those whatthey call it up, all those women.
I don't know, I'm asking arethey needed all the time? I
mean yeah, and even like youknow, like Henrietta lacks the sales,
the story of Henrietta lacks. Wherethey looked at her sales, Yeah,
and they like they came up withvaccinations, cures for you know, different
(09:24):
cancers, aids like her seals.The doctors unknowingly took her sales and experiment
it. See this Robbie Rocking record, right, knowledgeable and beautiful, she
hand it all like the you knowHenrietta fun facts. Henrietta lacks. Yeah,
the cells of Henrietta lacks, right, like the mix and I do
(09:48):
research. Yeah, do it forreal. Damn, I'm like that.
Yeah, definitely. Message that wasdefinitely a big point message the girl miss
big big energy, Yeah, bigenergy for sure. That needs yeah yeah
yeah search that yeah yeah for real, Yeah definitely I'm with you, So
(10:13):
check it. I made a postlike always always speaking out. I'm not
sure we touched on it yet.It was a little while ago, but
we ain't been up here for aminute, Rightever, if someone has three
(10:33):
or four children and they all fallassist to the system of just the street
street world, is that more soon the parents? Okay, bring every
I don't think we talked about it. I don't think we talked about it.
It was big on the Yeah,I got a lot of your mouth.
Yeah, I'm like, but iffour three, four in a row,
(10:56):
yeah, it's it's kind of it'sreal to you because it's like a
fine line. But I'm all abouttruth, you know, It's all about
truth. And my take on thisis, you know, being a parent
and having kids coming up now oldeighteen year old, seventeen, Ye'll be
eighteen next month. I think atsome point kids do have their own decision
(11:20):
making definitely skills, but at somepoint those decisions reflect the parents. It
has to. Now we can implyas much as we want and can and
show them this is the way togo, but we're hoping when they're not
around us that they utilize. Yeah. I know I didn't right all the
(11:43):
time, but I did keep whatever, you know, retaining me. But
at some point it does come backon parents, and I feel like,
yeah, and I think it's theenvironment as well, the environment trying to
raise a kid. Like we're luckywe don't live in a big city,
so it's really no inner city.Yeah, yeah, right that we have
to deal with like projects, youknow what I mean, say away from
(12:09):
there, Yeah, you know whatI mean. So thankfully in Lima we
didn't have that issue, right exactly. Yeah, but no inner city or
outer city. You know, we'renot in a big city like that,
so we can have more of awhat's going on from people we know.
(12:31):
Yeah, but like the unfortunate thing, I know, like mothers in big
cities. I was reading an articlewhere mother had lost like three sons to
the streets, like kill to thestreets. You know, one son had
went, you know, tried todo the right thing. One son didn't
do the right thing, and theother son just kind of got caught up
in the right in the thing.But in that environment, okay, And
(12:54):
I I hate to see where peoplejust cannot get out of that environment because
they're I don't know, that isvery rough, because okay, I felt
subject to a lot of things thatwas going on around me just because it
was there that might have been theperson that I was, That might that
(13:15):
this was the person that I hadto be maybe during that time, right,
But at some point in time,life is all about choice, yep.
It is, so you can chooseto be a part of it.
And then I understand you might seean older sibling and be like, oh,
I'm kind of following footsteps, butwho were they following them? Older
siblings got to be following what they'veseen or you know, been conditioned or
(13:39):
lack of or lack of. Yeah, And I'll use like my growing up
for instance. Like I got anolder brother, went to the military,
did right thing, worked for theRed Road. Middle brother older than me,
he just can't get right for shit, you know what I mean?
He ended up dying in prison.But I talked to my mom and she
said she got to a point ain'twhere. She just got so tired of
(14:03):
going through the system with him,like what else to do? And in
the ninth grade she ended up signinghim out of school. And I'm like
them, do you regret that?And she said, honestly, I do,
because I wish I would have pushedhim harder. But at that time,
you know what I mean, shedidn't mean that he would have went
you know you kind of yet exactly. And I say, it's a a
(14:26):
yes and a yes yes and anoka. You know, so I'm kind
of like in the middle of that, I did one or two. But
if you got five kids and theyall vote the same route, yes,
that's something. I'm just gonna saythat something. Somebody gotta yes, somebody
got a chang. Yeah for real? Yeah, yeah, right, we
(14:50):
really tells what you think about that. You know, we're gonna we're just
gonna leave that there, depending onwhat y'all say. Yeah, just might
circle back. Yeah. But onother news, uh huh, because you
know two these words that right nowthey haven't enough to score. Go watch
up the score on two. Right. Apparently the Dirty d Stars Makiva in
(15:18):
A Games are no longer going tobe a part of season three. Well,
what's going on there? They're apretty big factor in that season.
And what's going on is that Bikeevaposted basically she wanted more money, we
weren't offering it, so they choseto walk. Now. I don't know
(15:41):
what they bring in, but Ihave an idea that twenty five thousand each
for the season was hell of much. I'm gonna say that right now.
Twenty five k for and they're onlylike six episodes. Yeah, you crazy
as as now, I don't doubtthat they bring in more viewers and things
(16:06):
of that nature, but I don'tthink a lot of people understand what it
takes and what you get paid fromthese. Yeah, yeah, break that
down to the public because they don'treally know because if we think it's a
free app, but yeah, it'sdefinitely not free. Somebody gotta exactly.
Yeah, so this is all publicinformation if you just do the dilegitive works.
But I'm giving to you though,So on a v o D,
(16:27):
which is advertised paid you know,video on demands like to be or whatever
else, crackle something right that youget paid through ads. Now, every
ad at run is usually they paybetween seven and nine dollars not to the
filmmakers, but to the actual platform, right, okay, once they get
(16:48):
their big ass chunk, let's justsay you might be about four cents per
view. Four cents per view,okay, So you know how many millions
and millions of streams you have tohave to make that to make anything bad?
(17:08):
So to pay twenty five k andthe Big Dog spent fifty six k
budget on up the score. Huh, I'm praying I can just break even.
But I did it off of justquality and want to get my workout
right. Happens, it happens.But the pace we're going, it's not
bad. We had a million pointone views last time I posted it like
(17:29):
a baby about a month back orsince per view y'all see, y'all do
yeah, do the math, Soy'all do the math. Yeah exactly,
But the big don't need about thirtymotherfucking million views, right, you know
what I mean? You know youbetter be glad. It ain't like the
algorithms on like Facebook and ship whereyou have to have a complete play Yeah
exactly, you know what I mean. So so make sure when you see
(17:52):
them, mads, just let theads play out and then cut it off.
Yeah, you know, let thefilm makers get that man. And
that's some that don't tell people thatwe want to skip over the ax just
sitting there. So for twenty fiveK. Hey, they price is they
price? That's what they feel.Me and myself, she just got popping
two three years ago. And thatdon't mean you can't be good and great
(18:15):
at what you do. But Ithink you gotta understand. And she's gonna
find out because now she's making herown movies, which is good, right,
you know, don't find out itdon't come back the way you think
it's gonna come back like sevenfolds rightoff the hand exactly. Now, she
says she charged ten This is allwhat she posted because she charges ten thousand
per a movie. All right,it's not bad. It's not bad,
(18:37):
you know. Me and myself,I would have found somebody with a higher
caliber that right, yeah, youknow me little weight. If it was
me, I had four I hadfour K for her. Now when it
comes to the movies, her standardwas ten K, and then I would
feel she should be probably about Idon't know, eight hundred to a thousand
(19:03):
every episode, okay, because it'snot a lot of episodes right now,
The thing about that is it don'tmatter if you're in there for twenty seconds,
that's still eight hundred for the episodeor a thousand. That's where I
with myself would come with her likehere right, take that, yeah,
and that would round up to aboutokay, almost to her ten K standard.
Yeah, movie, Well, Iknow I got you. I wanted
to run you through that whole thing. I can't ye, so, and
(19:25):
you gotta think about it. Ihate people talking about because this this kind
of texts me. So I'm like, y'all don't really understand. I hear
people was talking about, like,oh, how do you respect you to
live? Not off for twenty fivek? You're only working seven days at
okay? How about this ten daysto make a movie? Yeah? So
if you got six movies lined up, you're doing twenty five k each backing
(19:47):
up and you ain't me work ninetydays out the year. Yeah, do
the math. What takes so longabout movies? It's the preparation, yaman
ain't hard, the preparation for it, and if how good you wanted to
look? Yeah, the film isthey don't take long. The script thirteen
days filmed in fifteen what's that twentyeight days, the whole movie in a
(20:10):
month. Yeah, it's just realand it's patience. Yeah, it's big
patients. So you know, wehave to have other hustles, We have
to have other things to fall backhole hobby until it turns. Yeah,
exactly. Been fortunate enough as longwith James where it's been a career.
But please believe that ain't the onlything she's worked on. Yeah, for
(20:30):
real, put out like four orfive movies this year and she still has
two more. That and before allthat, she probably was wearing scrubs somewhere.
Yeah. Yeah, she's still exotic, damn fast. Different type subs,
but like rubs right, yeah,scrub the ground they bought a month
back. I was scared, sorry, but you know, I just thought
(20:59):
I bring that upcause a hot topicright now though. But you don't get
paid a lot, you know,you don't get paid a lot. You
gotta have an extreme extreme bis right, it's a starting point, you know
what I mean, It's a buildingblock. No, for remember when Tyler
Perry was doing him plays in thebeginning, he was getting paid like that,
and he did that for a spendof like years, ten years.
He probably was bustling out his backTrump, take this back and then doing
(21:22):
plays and that's what finally got himon, like somebody was like his grind
was non stopped and he was consistentwith his number yea and and like you
said, consistency, it pays off. And then you never know who's in
the room or who's watching, andyou get that phone call and then that
like everything can really change in theblink of an eye. It really can.
It really can. I'm gonna speakon it, because you never know
(21:47):
what can happen. Like I know, we get a lot of requests though,
like damn, why do we doa soundtrack for the movie? Honestly,
I read into a lot of pushbackof how do I get paid?
How I get well, when wedo a soundtrack, you get yeah,
when you just placement in the movie, that's just an opportunity. Yeah,
And a lot of people don't understandthat. And you know, even what
(22:08):
we do, like when we gospeaking and you know, like just outdoing
poetry. A lot of the timesI get paid, I've done stuff for
I haven't been paid, but italways comes back. I mean, I
don't care when you're moving in yourcraft and you're moving in your purpose.
It will always come back. Andsometimes we put a dollar amount on everything.
You miss your blessing by putting adollar amount on everything. Because when
(22:30):
you're working and it's meant for you, trust and believe that money is gonna
come. Like provision, it's gonnabe. I ain't never been hungry because
I didn't did a free poem.Listen, I ain't never not ate because
I spoke somewhere free. This it'slike charity for real, displaying your skills
(22:52):
and showing what I've got yea forreal. And then it gets to the
point sometime where people ask you yourpride and then you'll you know, sometimes
need justified my price or no,they will give you more than what you
was even expected. Sometimes you justgotta let it worry like h seven,
(23:15):
thank you right exactly. So sometimesyou're working your talent and your diligency,
it just speaks for itself. Youknow what big dog been in this bag,
I've been uh jumping into a littlebit. I got my first acting
role without giving it to myself.So playing a podcaster in a movie called
(23:36):
Springsville. Oh, Jason Parker ismy name, Jason Parker, the one
just let you know. All right, check me out in the movie out
Springsville, MO. Yeah, that'swhat's up. I'm proud of you.
Thank you. All right, maybewe'd be out here grind it, don't
I'm trying, you know, I'mtrying. Let me out here doing it,
(23:56):
but I wouldn't. And you knowwhat. I was talking and one
of my boys, and he waslike, if people really knew like the
way you, it looked like youprobably do thirty different things and one day
and I might be sitting at home. Yea, you don't break it down.
Yeah, well I'm doing. That'sit. And it's like strategic moves
(24:21):
now instead of seventy five thousand moves, I would rather make two or three
strategic moves. Just sit back andyeah, I'm not chasing it no more.
I'm gonna let it chase. Yeahfor real. Look you see how
much we've grown a lot, alot, a lot of I'm all here
for the journey. I can't wait. Just even being able to have a
(24:44):
podcast in our heart radio. Yeah, definitely definitely a blessing. We got
to use this platform a little betterpeople to interview. But let's see what
else we got going down. Wego down down the auditions. I mean,
since we on it, go aheadand speak about it. What I
(25:07):
have thought about. October eighth,Lineman's Own Beautiful Man Treation Presents I Got
time today the new film. It'sgonna be at the Howard Johnson the Hotel
two to six, nineteen twenty RockmanRoad, Come Out, Come Come,
Come, rock get you a position. This movie is an action thriller,
(25:30):
suspense, extremely dope, and actuallyI just got interviewed by the Lineman News
today so I can give you allthis information because it's gonna come out in
anyways. But the movie is inspiredoff of one of my favorite movies,
Falling Down with Michael Duglass. Isay, go watch that because I decided
to do my own type of styleof the day female ly though. So
(25:53):
she's super stressed doing her thing anda series of events happen and then we
have to find out how much timeshe had that day. A series of
unfortunate events in y'all make sure y'allcome out and try out, because when
up the score came out, Idon't think people really thought it was gonna
happen, and they kind of,you know, shoot off the auditions and
everything so make sure you come onout and audition for your role because your
(26:18):
girl, Cortneo is gonna be thereand I'm going to get what's mine.
You better believe that. So goingout here and get with sorts see and
please yeah, like we need,we need everybody I want. My vision
is to make Linma very similar tothe independent filmmakers in Detroit and have it
(26:38):
here. We can do it.Yeah, we're just getting it wrong.
And give me about two more years. I bet we're gonna be line my
own. Yeah, a couple moreyear, about two more years, and
I swear it's like a new Linemaor something that's good because you know,
I'm south Side rider down on SouthSide. Yeah, but I went to
(26:59):
the East Side reunion. Okay thisweekend. I had a ball, and
you know, I went to schoolwith everybody anyway, so like I met
all the east Side kids. Reallywhen we went to South I'm a senior
and just you know, being ayounger daughter around here. But man,
I had a ball. It wasso little man. They had it popping.
And then I went back Saturday wasSunday, and they had a fish
(27:22):
fry. Some of the best fishI ever had in my life. But
it was just so welcoming, youknow, if everybody was kicking it.
I had Mims, I had MomLukes up there, my son. We
was all just hanging out. Muchlove to the east Side. Big ups
to y'all. Man, I'm I'meast Side. Now what y'all right,
I'm coming to get my shirt nextyear East right Corney East. You know
(27:44):
what I mean, South meets theEast. But yeah, it was all
good and it was real cool,real peaceful, and you could just tell
it was a lot of love inthat neighborhood, everybody growing up and stuff.
So yeah, definitely, you know, yeah, you know, incorporate
the oh, but just make it, you know, put our stink on.
Yeah, we're gonna put our footprintin this one. Yeah, definitely
put our footprintal it ain't hard todo. We just gotta through it.
(28:07):
The doors are opening up, andif the doors ain't opening up, we're
gonna kick them. These stones becausethey're talking about to seat at the table.
Were building our own tape on nowcome come, come, come join
us. You know what you need. Yeah, there is something else I
wanted to speak on real quick andit and it kind of threw me off,
(28:30):
but I understood it. But itwas also like, m So,
do you think being cheated on cantraumatize you? Hell? Yeah, absolutely,
all right, let's talk about becausetrust is shoes. Okay, whoever
you end up with next is gonnacatch hell. It messes with your confidence,
(28:53):
It messes with you go through it. You go through it, you
know what I mean? It does, and it does, And I think
it's all about how you take thingsbecause what I've learned, cheating is usually
not about the person that's being cheatedon. It's something in the person that
(29:15):
cheating, you know what I mean. It's something in them, like okay,
so it's not like like say wetogether, Okay, I've me together
and I'm like, I'm doing mything. But it's not like, oh,
she don't appreciate me. It's morelike there's something about me I don't
like and I'm out here it's yourdemons, okay, right, And I've
I've learned that because I had adirty ass, yeah baby father, and
(29:41):
right, you know what I mean, And he cheated with some of anybody
and everybody, and it messed withmy confidence because ye see so so because
it's the good, right, Sowhat if like you feel they cheated with
someone. Man, I just arepeat. Yeah, I'm looking at the
mirror, like I know, Idon't look like no sharpey like do me
(30:07):
like that? You know, butit's just something. Maybe it's just the
opportunity. Yeah, just stroke ofthe ego. That too, I think
that's it's definitely a stroke of theego. And you make a choice to
do that. Shit, No,no, you definitely. It's about a
choice, that's all. It's alwaysa choice. I don't care what nobody's
Yeah, you know what you're doingregardless. Yeah, it's just I don't
(30:30):
know what. Listen, that messwith my confidence so bad in my early
twenties and my twenties. That messedwith my confidence so much because I'm like,
for real, I guess I needto apologize who ever posted that.
I was like, yeah, forreal, that would even like, okay,
think the most beautiful women and themost hope some women have been right,
(30:53):
you know what I mean? Yeah, so that will mess up your
confidence. And like I've never reallytalk to too many dudes that is willing
to share this, like keep beingcheated, but you know that mess with
this confidence too. If I haveto you know what, I don't know
what I'm knowing myself. I'm sureit's partly happening before in life, but
(31:14):
that that uh if it was apattern. Yeah yeah, and especially for
the the man that that accepted itand went back. You know what,
I got a partner, and Ican see it all over their face.
So you're right, Yeah, Ican see like the confidence gone to everything,
like everything, and you really haveto talk to self to build it
(31:36):
back up. Yeah, because it'snothing, nobody, there's nothing to tell
you. Keep going yeah, yeah, right, and you don't know,
like I don't knew, and keepgoing back like I don't know anything.
Yeah, we see the outside,Yeah, outside, I don't know.
They might be holding them down orwhatever. Would I just be like why
why? Yep? And then oneday something will click and you'll just that's
(31:57):
for that I care get pay you. It'll click and then you'll just walk
away. Yeah, you will walkaway in so much peace and not even
care about what's going on. ForI have been there. I know in
that moment you walk away, youget that aha moment where you decide to
walk away. It is nothing thatcan draw you back to that situation and
(32:20):
It's like when you see that person, you look at him like all I
visualizes, Wait except when she walkingaway with righting that car on fire?
Who she walking you? Yeah,that moment. But even when you get
to the point where you walk awayand you don't even wish bad on the
person, like good life, highfives, you can have everything. I'm
done, like Tina, turn aroundon number my name, that's it,
(32:40):
that's it. You get right upnow. Yeah, it gets to that
point like you didn't beat me downso much. I can't do number.
Get my ass up. That's it. That's it. You're ugly so and
it's your girl. Crickiolus Coin.This podcast was recorded in the iHeartRadio Podcasting
(33:09):
Center. Thanks for listening.
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