May 5, 2024 • 60 mins
Tell Us The Truth Episode 81: American Idol Contestant Amari & Dr. Nikki Starr Noce
This episode of Tell Us The Truth is packed with inspiration! First, we meet Amari, the history-making contestant on American Idol - Amari opens up about her journey as the first openly Transgender singer to earn a Golden Ticket. She shares her gratitude for the judges, particularly Katy Perry, and discusses the challenges and excitement of transitioning from local star to national phenomenon.
Amari also offers insightful advice for aspiring singers, especially those in the Trans community, who dream of following in her footsteps.In the second half, Dr. Nikki Starr Noce, a former Medical Doctor turned Spiritual Guide, joins the conversation.
Dr. Nikki discusses her own transformation and how she helps others navigate the ever-changing world we live in, especially in the wake of recent global events. She delves into practices for self-empowerment and avoiding control from external forces, including religion.Don't miss this episode filled with stories of strength, self-discovery, and the courage to be your authentic self!
Follow Amari's journey on social media @SryAmari.Visit DrNikkiStarr.Com to learn more about Dr. Nikki.
*You can Subscribe to Tell Us The Truth on all leading podcast apps including the iHeart Radio App, Spreaker and iTunes/Apple Podcasts. Join us on Facebook and Twitter for daily discussion about top news.*
This episode of Tell Us The Truth is packed with inspiration! First, we meet Amari, the history-making contestant on American Idol - Amari opens up about her journey as the first openly Transgender singer to earn a Golden Ticket. She shares her gratitude for the judges, particularly Katy Perry, and discusses the challenges and excitement of transitioning from local star to national phenomenon.
Amari also offers insightful advice for aspiring singers, especially those in the Trans community, who dream of following in her footsteps.In the second half, Dr. Nikki Starr Noce, a former Medical Doctor turned Spiritual Guide, joins the conversation.
Dr. Nikki discusses her own transformation and how she helps others navigate the ever-changing world we live in, especially in the wake of recent global events. She delves into practices for self-empowerment and avoiding control from external forces, including religion.Don't miss this episode filled with stories of strength, self-discovery, and the courage to be your authentic self!
Follow Amari's journey on social media @SryAmari.Visit DrNikkiStarr.Com to learn more about Dr. Nikki.
*You can Subscribe to Tell Us The Truth on all leading podcast apps including the iHeart Radio App, Spreaker and iTunes/Apple Podcasts. Join us on Facebook and Twitter for daily discussion about top news.*
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Doctor Nikki star Notie is a formermedical doctor turned spiritual healer, and she
has plenty to say about positivity,religion, and being the best version of
yourself. But First, American Idolis wrapping up season twenty two, and
(00:23):
to kick off this episode of Tellsthe Truth, we have Amari, the
first openly transgender woman to not onlycompete on American Idol but win a golden
ticket. My name is e DukeBennett and this is tell Us the Truth.
(00:46):
Hi, this is Ami from seasontwenty two of American Idol, and
I'm here to tell you the truth. I feel like singing is it's my
way of speaking authentically. I thinkit's easy to feel pressured by family,
friends, people, society in generalinto I guess being agreeable or being perfect,
(01:11):
which doesn't exist. And there isno perfect performance. There's no perfect
vocal singing, specifically live singing.Performing is I guess the one moment where
like people are expecting you to beyourself? Well, Amari, it is
an absolute pleasure to have you hereon tell Us the Truth. I am
(01:34):
a newly minted fan of yours,you know, after discovering you and hearing
the amazing singing that you do.Absolutely, I'm on board here, think
that you are a fantastic singer andperformer, and I look forward to seeing
what's going to happen next. Youknow, I'm an American Idol fan all
the way back to season one,so I've been fortunate enough to see so
(01:59):
many folks come through and share theirtalents, and it's really cool. It's
a real cool experience. And herewe are wrapping up season twenty two,
and it's been a heck of ajourney there. I wonder for someone like
yourself, who seemingly overnight, youwent from being a singer that you know
(02:22):
folks locally obviously they knew who youwere, and online you're starting to build
a fan base for yourself and whathave you. But all of that just
instantly got ramped up when you appearedon Idol and got yourself the golden ticket.
Looking on YouTube and just the replaythe clip of you singing, You've
(02:45):
racked up millions and millions of viewson that. How does it feel?
How does it feel to be alocal sensation one minute and then the next
minute, legitimately, folks around theworld know who you are and have heard
you sing Honestly, I have ahard time believing it until it's brought up.
(03:07):
I constantly still feel like the sameme, the same person. I
think it's a good thing. Keepsme kind of grounded. But also I
don't know, maybe I'm just illusional. I don't like I can't believe that
it's a thing. Sometimes I haveto like be reminded this is cool.
(03:28):
I want you to take a journeywith me for a second. Here.
Let's go back, you know,not too far, but let's go back
to high school senior year yearbook.You know, they bestow upon folks these
different awards and things like that,best dressed and most popular, most likely
(03:49):
to succeed. When you think backto your time in high school and especially
senior year, you know, theyearbook, would it make sense for folks
to say, back then, Amariis going to be the most recognizable person
of this class, most recognizable notonly in the nation, really in the
(04:11):
world, or if not the mostrecognizable, certainly one of the most recognizable.
Because again, you know, millionsand millions of people have heard you
sing, and I've seen you,and it's been shared so many times over
and what have you because of yourAmerican Idol audition. So when you think
back to senior year, would theyhave predicted that you would be that person
(04:33):
today when it comes down to highschool. I don't think anybody expected for
me to have this specific experience that'shappening currently. I feel like people expected
me to sing, though. Ithink that was the only time people heard
(04:55):
me speak. I was very tomyself except for my small group of friends,
and I think I started singing alittle bit in like maybe eighth grade,
and that's when people were like,oh my gosh, wait, who
is this person? And then Iwould disappear. It's one thing I encourage
everybody listening to absolutely head over tothe American Idol YouTube and check out Amari's
(05:17):
audition. You know, she gotthe Golden ticket because of it. Nailed
it, knocked it right out ofthe park there. It is just fantastic,
you know, definitely one of myfavorite auditions of season twenty twenty two.
And you know, props to Amarifor nailing it, because she certainly
did. Now, Amari, youknow, this is tell us the truth.
(05:41):
This is a hard hitting news showsand I got to ask the hard
hitting news questions. So so letme just get right to it. I'm
not going to play any games here. You have the American Idol judges,
obviously, you have Luke Bryant,who is a country music megastar and someone
who's won you know, countless awards, Entertainer of the Year, the whole
(06:03):
nine yards. They're so very wellaccomplished in his right, Sir Lionel Richie.
Not only is he one of thegreatest songwriters, one of the greatest
singers of all time and revered assuch. I mean, he's even a
very close personal friend of the Kingof England and is the ambassador for one
(06:23):
of the King's major organizations and whathave you. So you know those two
guys, they are who they are. But I want to know about Katy
Perry. Katy Perry, the megastars, She legitimately is an icon in her
own right, and what have you? Hear Amari tell me the truth is
Katy Perry as glamorous and as awesomein person as she seems when we watch
(06:48):
her own TV. Oh my gosh, honestly, yes, one of the
first things that I don't think youguys ever saw that, but one of
the first things I said when Iwalked into the room was Oh my gosh,
you're so pretty. She was like, it's my glamit money. She's
so sweet. She's just really downto earth and like just a really sweet
(07:09):
person as far as I was ableto witness, well, definitely shout out
to Katie Perry. You know,this is her last season with American Idol
season twenty two, so I definitelywanted to give her a special shot out
there. And it's cool. Youknow, she's a person that always attracts
a diverse amount of respect and admiration, and certainly she projects that. You
(07:34):
know, she goes out of herway in my opinion, to project that
to others as well, and that'sa she's beaking a light in my opinion.
So that's great stuff to hear thatyou had a personal experience that matches
the way that she comes across.It's always great. You know, some
people say never meet your heroes andthings like that, so it's always refreshing
(07:54):
when you hear that a megastar,an icon legitimately is a good person on
a personal level as well outside ofthe glam and all that stuff there.
That's good stuff. Now, Iwas I was rocking my brain about this
Amari, because you are a transgenderedperson, you know, openly transgenders,
(08:15):
no secret or what have you here? And when I think back to the
history of American Idol, and againI've been watching since season one, I
don't recall an openly transgender contestant makingit that far. I mean, you,
you auditioned and you've got the Goldenticket, so you made it past
(08:35):
to the next level, so tospeak. Is it safe to say,
as far as you know that you'rethe first openly transgendered contestant to get a
Golden ticket. Yeah, Actually,it's it's crazy because people have been telling
me that, and I didn't knowbecause personally, I don't pay attention to
too much to like the whole identitything. Most often, I'm just kind
(08:58):
of focusing on and living. Andso like when I went up there,
I didn't realize how big of adeal it would be because to me,
like, obviously, I'm just aMari. I'm just going up there.
I'm just singing. And then peopwere like first openly transperson on an American
Idol Golden ticket, and I waslike, oh, this is crazy,
Like this is I did not expectthat. So it's interesting. But yeah,
(09:20):
from what I know, first openlytrans person on the show, well,
congratulations. I mean that might bea Guinness Book of World Records factoid
there, you know, something toput on Jeopardy as well. So that's
it's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. I wonder about that, though,
Amari, because again, you kindof went overnight, just like anyone in
(09:43):
your position where you're a person whois a local singer and you know,
you're doing your thing online or whathave you. Now suddenly you're this person
that has been seen and heard aroundthe world. How does it feel to
be whether you were intending to beor not, You're now a you know,
(10:05):
the face to a certain degree,a representation to a certain degree of
what's possible for trans performers, andespecially you know, in the case of
American Idol, the most popular singingcompetition show in history, and especially since
Star Search, you being the firstat anything is going to separate you and
(10:31):
put you in a position where anyoneelse who has dreams of being liked you
or who just you know, islooking for inspiration, You're it. How
does it feel to be that person? And are you comfortable in that space?
So I'm very big on therapy,and I've talked to my therapist about
this. I understand that I amsomeone that other LGBT members of society and
(10:54):
also just humans in general of societymay relate to as like an outlayer and
like you know, just I'm onthe outside of a lot of major factions
of society. But I don't considermyself a representative of anything but myself,
and not because I want to declineany of that stuff. If I can
(11:15):
have someone relate to me, andif I can help someone feel more confident
in being themselves, then that's ahuge honor for me. I'm happy to
oblige in regards to that. ButI'm not trying to be every trans person
or every human on TV or thelike. I'm not an entertainment figure in
(11:39):
that right. I am more sojust myself. If you relate to me,
then you relate to humanity, andthat's about it. I don't want
to put the pressure of trying totake care of an entire demographic on myself,
just because I don't think anyone deservesthat. It's hard enough existing for
yourself, let alone existing for abunch of people. But if I can
(12:01):
do anything for the community obviously,Well, like, that's my community.
It's just I don't want to beI don't want to be considered like a
pioneer or the representation of an entiregroup. It's not fair to me or
anyone. I don't think that anybodyshouldn't feel that kind of pressure. You
know, that's a very measured anddare I say, mature answer to a
(12:26):
very complex question and concept. Unfortunately, there are a lot of us out
there who we find ourselves being theface of something and whether the intention was
there or not, that's just theway that it is. And if you're
trying to live that life and holdyourself up to the expectations of others,
(12:50):
and that's a lot of pressure.It's a lot of pressure, and it
sets a lot of folks up forfailure, unfortunately, because they're just not
ready and have never framed themselves inthat manner. So the fact that you're
saying flat out from the beginning,look, I'm not it's not my intention.
I just want to be me.You know, that doesn't mean I
(13:13):
won't help communities that I belong toand what have you. I think that's
fair of you to say. Butat the end of the day. I'm
not trying to be anybody's role modelanything like them. It's trying to be
a Mari. I like that.I think that's that's awesome, and I
think that being able to temper expectationscan yield the best possible results because regardless
(13:35):
of what happens in life, it'sall the human experience and there is no
one way and there's no perfect way. So you better damn sure know what
you're doing if you're going to bestanding in front of people and saying,
hey, follow me, I havethe answers, I know the way.
So the fact that you're saying,nah, I'm just a regular person just
(13:58):
trying to figure it out, justlike everybodybody else. I just want to
represent me. Does it mean thatI don't belong? Does it mean that
I won't help? But I'm nottrying to be the leader of anything.
I think that's great, that's goodstuff there. Sorry, if I represent
everyone else, I won't represent myselflike it's just I won't. And I
feel like that's who people are relatingto. They're not relating to the fact
(14:18):
that I'm trans They're relating to thefact that I am on the outside of
society, and I am a partof a group that is marginalized and a
part of a group that is disrespected. But that's the same thing as black
people. That's the same thing aswomen, that's the same thing as other
minority groups. You know. I'msure that there are people in the majority
who have related to me, likewho have been told they're not supposed to
(14:41):
be something or not allowed to likesomething. So I don't think I'm the
representative of trans people or LGBT people. I think I'm just a part of
humanity that people relate to. AndI mean I'm a normal person. Like
that's it. So you're a normalperson. But as we know, you
also have a reputation of being avery quirky person, right that too.
(15:07):
You know. For the past fewyears, I've watched Idle live in live
tweet, you know, definitely havebuilt a little community there where we do
that we react in real time tothings that are happening and what have you,
critique and all that good stuff there, which is fun, you know,
and it helps keep the show topical, especially on x AKA. Twitter
(15:28):
helped the American idol as a hashtagtrend, which hey, why not,
you know, you're entertaining us.The least we could do is talk about
it and get other people to takesome interest in it. One of the
things that I noticed about you isthe fact that your musical ability is just
incredible. You know, you singso well, which is awesome, but
(15:52):
you can do these tricks. Forinstance, you can sing to the point
where you start talking, but you'retalking in key, so you really sing
talking. I don't know what tocall that there, but whatever it is,
I like it, and it displaysa tremendous amount of control that most
people just don't have, even ifthey're singers, or at least I've never
(16:17):
heard them display that ability like youhave. Who are your musical influences?
Where's the inspiration behind stuff like thiscome from? So I love a bunch
of different genres of music, musicaltheater being one of them, and the
whole speak singing aspect is a majorfacet of that genre of music. But
I also listen to and I wasonly really allowed to listen to gospel hymns
(16:41):
when I was younger, and there'sa lot of speak singing in some of
the song choices that I was allowedto sing. And so I think it's
just more so I have a bunchof different influences, but I don't know
which and specifically would would be apart of the speak singing portion. Maybe
(17:04):
Benjamin Platt, like you know BenPlatt? Who else? Adda Mazelle does
that? Shoshana Bean does that,A lot of musical theater singers. But
also if you listen to gospel music, you'll hear them kind of testify in
the middle of a song, andthey're typically speaking on tone as well.
(17:25):
I think you can find a lotof inspiration from like different genres. Did
you grow up in a Christian household? I sure did, Sure did?
What was that? Like? Ithink in my experience it's it's not how
can I describe this, Because I'mstill Christian, I still believe in Christianity.
(17:47):
I don't think that my experience isthat of, like, oh,
growing up in a Christian household.I think it's just growing up in a
religious or overtly religious household in general. My experience was a little difficult because
I was expected to be someone.I think anybody who's expected to be someone
is going to have similar experiences becauseyou can't you can't fit that ideal that
(18:10):
whatever ideal it is, whether itbe religion or just familial It's impossible to
fit someone else's idea of who you'resupposed to be. That's why I say
you can't disappoint anyone. You candisappoint the ideals they set for you,
you know, but you can't disappointsomeone. Someone who understands or is expecting
you, know you to just beyourself isn't going to be disappointed by you.
(18:32):
You know what I mean. Iget exactly what you mean there,
and I think that's a great wayof looking at it. I wondered,
when did you officially come out astransgender? My first time being able to
think about the concept of being transgenderin general, because I didn't even know
what it was. I didn't Iwas very sheltered. Was until I think
(18:55):
maybe I was like maybe twenty three, twenty two, twenty three, I
was actually to a therapist who broughtup the concept because I just hated myself
and I didn't know why I wasreally depressed, and like I would make
sure I was always thin because Iwould gain weight in masculine places and I
didn't know That's why I didn't likeit. But like I remember my mom.
(19:19):
Whenever I would gain weight, she'dbe like, you finally look like
a man, like yes, andshe'd be so happy, and that would
bother me so much, and Ididn't know why. I did not know
why. So it wasn't until Iwas about twenty two or twenty three that
I talked to a therapist and shewas like, oh, have you thought
about gender identity? And I waslike, what do you even mean?
Like that doesn't make sense. Andthen I read on it and researched on
(19:41):
it, and I thought about it, and then I'm a very big,
like firm believer of like, youknow, don't just jump on a trend,
don't hop straight into anything. SoI researched for about four years,
and I didn't start hormones until Iwas twenty seven because I wanted to make
sure. I wanted to be surethat this is what was going to make
me feel comfortable. And when Idid decide to transition, I lost almost
(20:03):
everyone because, like I said,I grew up in that overtly religious household,
so it was taboo, like itwas you've like I destroyed everything.
I was told that, like,you know, my mom tell me like
her son died, like I wasdead and she like took out a loan
on like my life insurance policy andrefused to like pay it. So like
(20:25):
I have like a two thousand dollarsloan in my name and all this stuff,
and on top of like coming intomyself and like I just suddenly got
shelved with more responsibility. So itwas very interesting. It was a very
interesting experience. And in terms oftransitioning, I mean, I know that
you've been very open about that factthere, but it's still fairly recent that
this happened. Right when did youtransition officially? Yeah, I have a
(20:51):
transitioned about or medically transition, becauseI socially transitioned. There's two different forms
of like there are level to transitioning. Typically people socially transition first, and
that is just like allowing maybe aclose family member or friends to know,
maybe using that pronoun out in public, just to kind of prep yourself to
(21:12):
see how everything. Like there's alot of extensive like therapy and stuff involved
in transitioning and medical things involved intransitioning that people I think people think,
oh, you one day decide tocheer a woman and that's it. It's
like no, like you go totherapy. You have to get blood work
done every three months to make surethat your levels are all proper so that
you can, you know, getthe hormones that you you know, require
(21:37):
or need in order to feel mostlike yourself. You have to live a
specific lifestyle, like I had tostop smoking like vapes, tobacco like because
that's bad. It causes an upperlikelihood of stroke and all that stuff.
So it's just I don't know,Like there's a lot that goes into the
concept of transitioning. So socially transitionedprobably around twenty five. I think I
(22:04):
was like I told a few friendsaround twenty four I'm very open about like
what I'm thinking about. So Iwas like, oh, you know,
I talked to my therapist about this, and I'm thinking maybe maybe like this
is a thing for me, Andsome of my friends are like you just
realized, and other friends are like, oh wow, that's crazy. And
then I started medically transitioning when Iwas twenty seven in November, so it's
(22:26):
been about almost a year and sixmonths. Okay, so this is still
a new pair of shoes that you'rebreaking in, so to speak. Oh
yeah, so new. I wantto say, if things change, anybody
who pays attention to me in mylife, if in the future I look
a little different, it's more thanlikely the hormones, because hormones take like
(22:48):
two to five years to see actualeffects. Wow, I'm really getting an
education now. It takes that longto see the actual effects of the hormones.
That's wow fascinating. I didn't knowthat. I wonder, I mean,
how is your boyfriend holding up withall of this, because you know,
just says you're transitioning. He's alongfor the ride, He's along for
(23:11):
the journey with you. There,listen, my boyfriend. He's told me
multiple times, he's like, Ifeel so lucky to have you, which
is I mean, I have ahard time accepting compliments. And someone was
like stop and he's just like no, literally like he was like, you
get more beautiful every day, andblah blah blah blah blah, And I
mean I didn't believe him at all, honestly, because I mean, I
(23:34):
feel like a lot of people arethey look at themselves and they don't see
what their loved ones see. Butnow I get more people like stopping and
staring, and I don't think it'sa trans thing because I got whistled at
at work a couple of days,like not e of a couple days,
it was yesterday. I got whistledat, and I was like, oh,
this is weird. So it's new. Everything's new. All these experiences
(23:57):
are new. It's interesting. Ohboy, that is that's a whole other
level of something right there too.I mean, goodness, how does how
does your brain decipher the difference betweensomeone looking at you, you know,
in a negative manner and what haveyou, and someone looking at you because
(24:18):
they're attracted and they like the waythat you're looking what have you? Because
we all, we all go throughthat, anyone goes to why is that
person looking at me? What arethey staring at? What are you staring
at? But it's like, wow, there are these moments that it's not
negative at all. It's really likewow, that person sees someone that they
just think are attractive. How doesyour brain even decipher that at this point?
(24:42):
Now, Oh, that's a wholething in and of itself. I
remember when people started staring at me. I remember when it started happening.
I've always been fairly decent at makeup, but I do my makeup or whatever,
and even like one of my guybest friends I had called, like
he's really good friends with my boyfriend, Like there's nothing there obviously, like
(25:03):
platonic, super platonic. And whenhe called us like brothers, like our
entire lives. And then one dayI called just to check in and I
had my makeup done, and hewas like shocked, and I could see
him confused. He was like,like, what the heck I've had Like
my best friend showed up at myhouse and he was like, oh my
gosh. I didn't realize how differentyou look Like this is crazy, like
(25:26):
like you don't look like who Iremember you as anymore. Like it's like
it's weird, like you look likeyou, but you don't look like you.
And then I started realizing, like, oh, people are staring at
me, not because they can tellI'm trans, because I was scared.
I would hide in the house sometimesI've had experiences where people were really horrible,
and I hid in the house forlike over a month. I wouldn't
leave. My boyfriend was like,we're going on a date, and I
(25:48):
was like no, Like I wasterrified to just be myself, which is
crazy because you go to be yourself. You expect things to get better,
but typically it takes a while beforepeople accept the person that you're So it's
interesting. It's interesting. I didn'texpect it to happen, but here we
are. I guess on that thought, I think people expect that. I've
(26:10):
heard a lot of people say like, oh, you're trans nobody's going to
ever see you as a woman.Nobody's going to ever like want to be
with you. You're never going toget with somebody. This is this.
I didn't transition for people to treatme differently. I didn't expect anyone to
treat me differently. I didn't askanyone to treat me differently in regards to
that stuff. I asked to berespected. That's the same thing I've ever
asked for. So when I transitionedand people started treating me differently like that,
(26:33):
that was a hard thing to acceptbecause I was like, oh,
like, men are talking to medifferently. I noticed that some of the
things I was saying didn't carry thesame weight as it used to. I
started noticing like societal norms, likeyou get told constantly like you know,
women can't do this, and youhear women complaining about it, and as
(26:55):
somebody who like listens to everyone,I was like, I see you,
I hear you, like I feelyou understand. I don't think I understood
until the transition like genuinely started takingeffects and I was like, Oh,
people are not They're not listening tome, people like I'm not being respected.
It was really weird. It's veryodd. What about the people who
(27:17):
generally are looking at you in anegative manner and that is their intention?
What have you when it becomes thatobvious? How do you reconcile that?
How do you react to that?I remind myself that it is not my
job to be understood. It's notmy job to force someone to respect me.
My job is to protect myself andlove people. That is how I
(27:41):
feel about myself. I want tobe a lover. I want to be
respected, and that is it.If someone does not respect me, then
I just love them from a distance. I'm not going to hate you.
It's very rare for me to getupset. I do get upset. I'm
human, but it's very for meto get upset because my first instinct is
(28:02):
to understand people, and I'm notsure how much of that is just having
not been understood myself is not havinga voice myself and understanding that some people
just don't feel like they have voices, and so they attack marginalized communities.
They attack the minority because they feelminor in their life. And so I
try to understand more than anything.But I'm not here to be understood,
(28:27):
if that makes sense. I wantto understand myself. I want to love
myself. I want to be therefor myself. That's all I expect.
I don't have expectations for people.If someone wants to love me, then
I appreciate you. I'm gonna loveyou too. I'm gonna love you regardless.
But if you don't want to,that's your prerogative, know what I
mean. I'm not here to fightyou on what you think I deserve.
(28:49):
I'm going to take
Doctor Nikki star Notie is a formermedical doctor turned spiritual healer, and she
has plenty to say about positivity,religion, and being the best version of
yourself. But First, American Idolis wrapping up season twenty two, and
(00:23):
to kick off this episode of Tellsthe Truth, we have Amari, the
first openly transgender woman to not onlycompete on American Idol but win a golden
ticket. My name is e DukeBennett and this is tell Us the Truth.
(00:46):
Hi, this is Ami from seasontwenty two of American Idol, and
I'm here to tell you the truth. I feel like singing is it's my
way of speaking authentically. I thinkit's easy to feel pressured by family,
friends, people, society in generalinto I guess being agreeable or being perfect,
(01:11):
which doesn't exist. And there isno perfect performance. There's no perfect
vocal singing, specifically live singing.Performing is I guess the one moment where
like people are expecting you to beyourself? Well, Amari, it is
an absolute pleasure to have you hereon tell Us the Truth. I am
(01:34):
a newly minted fan of yours,you know, after discovering you and hearing
the amazing singing that you do.Absolutely, I'm on board here, think
that you are a fantastic singer andperformer, and I look forward to seeing
what's going to happen next. Youknow, I'm an American Idol fan all
the way back to season one,so I've been fortunate enough to see so
(01:59):
many folks come through and share theirtalents, and it's really cool. It's
a real cool experience. And herewe are wrapping up season twenty two,
and it's been a heck of ajourney there. I wonder for someone like
yourself, who seemingly overnight, youwent from being a singer that you know
(02:22):
folks locally obviously they knew who youwere, and online you're starting to build
a fan base for yourself and whathave you. But all of that just
instantly got ramped up when you appearedon Idol and got yourself the golden ticket.
Looking on YouTube and just the replaythe clip of you singing, You've
(02:45):
racked up millions and millions of viewson that. How does it feel?
How does it feel to be alocal sensation one minute and then the next
minute, legitimately, folks around theworld know who you are and have heard
you sing Honestly, I have ahard time believing it until it's brought up.
(03:07):
I constantly still feel like the sameme, the same person. I
think it's a good thing. Keepsme kind of grounded. But also I
don't know, maybe I'm just illusional. I don't like I can't believe that
it's a thing. Sometimes I haveto like be reminded this is cool.
(03:28):
I want you to take a journeywith me for a second. Here.
Let's go back, you know,not too far, but let's go back
to high school senior year yearbook.You know, they bestow upon folks these
different awards and things like that,best dressed and most popular, most likely
(03:49):
to succeed. When you think backto your time in high school and especially
senior year, you know, theyearbook, would it make sense for folks
to say, back then, Amariis going to be the most recognizable person
of this class, most recognizable notonly in the nation, really in the
(04:11):
world, or if not the mostrecognizable, certainly one of the most recognizable.
Because again, you know, millionsand millions of people have heard you
sing, and I've seen you,and it's been shared so many times over
and what have you because of yourAmerican Idol audition. So when you think
back to senior year, would theyhave predicted that you would be that person
(04:33):
today when it comes down to highschool. I don't think anybody expected for
me to have this specific experience that'shappening currently. I feel like people expected
me to sing, though. Ithink that was the only time people heard
(04:55):
me speak. I was very tomyself except for my small group of friends,
and I think I started singing alittle bit in like maybe eighth grade,
and that's when people were like,oh my gosh, wait, who
is this person? And then Iwould disappear. It's one thing I encourage
everybody listening to absolutely head over tothe American Idol YouTube and check out Amari's
(05:17):
audition. You know, she gotthe Golden ticket because of it. Nailed
it, knocked it right out ofthe park there. It is just fantastic,
you know, definitely one of myfavorite auditions of season twenty twenty two.
And you know, props to Amarifor nailing it, because she certainly
did. Now, Amari, youknow, this is tell us the truth.
(05:41):
This is a hard hitting news showsand I got to ask the hard
hitting news questions. So so letme just get right to it. I'm
not going to play any games here. You have the American Idol judges,
obviously, you have Luke Bryant,who is a country music megastar and someone
who's won you know, countless awards, Entertainer of the Year, the whole
(06:03):
nine yards. They're so very wellaccomplished in his right, Sir Lionel Richie.
Not only is he one of thegreatest songwriters, one of the greatest
singers of all time and revered assuch. I mean, he's even a
very close personal friend of the Kingof England and is the ambassador for one
(06:23):
of the King's major organizations and whathave you. So you know those two
guys, they are who they are. But I want to know about Katy
Perry. Katy Perry, the megastars, She legitimately is an icon in her
own right, and what have you? Hear Amari tell me the truth is
Katy Perry as glamorous and as awesomein person as she seems when we watch
(06:48):
her own TV. Oh my gosh, honestly, yes, one of the
first things that I don't think youguys ever saw that, but one of
the first things I said when Iwalked into the room was Oh my gosh,
you're so pretty. She was like, it's my glamit money. She's
so sweet. She's just really downto earth and like just a really sweet
(07:09):
person as far as I was ableto witness, well, definitely shout out
to Katie Perry. You know,this is her last season with American Idol
season twenty two, so I definitelywanted to give her a special shot out
there. And it's cool. Youknow, she's a person that always attracts
a diverse amount of respect and admiration, and certainly she projects that. You
(07:34):
know, she goes out of herway in my opinion, to project that
to others as well, and that'sa she's beaking a light in my opinion.
So that's great stuff to hear thatyou had a personal experience that matches
the way that she comes across.It's always great. You know, some
people say never meet your heroes andthings like that, so it's always refreshing
(07:54):
when you hear that a megastar,an icon legitimately is a good person on
a personal level as well outside ofthe glam and all that stuff there.
That's good stuff. Now, Iwas I was rocking my brain about this
Amari, because you are a transgenderedperson, you know, openly transgenders,
(08:15):
no secret or what have you here? And when I think back to the
history of American Idol, and againI've been watching since season one, I
don't recall an openly transgender contestant makingit that far. I mean, you,
you auditioned and you've got the Goldenticket, so you made it past
(08:35):
to the next level, so tospeak. Is it safe to say,
as far as you know that you'rethe first openly transgendered contestant to get a
Golden ticket. Yeah, Actually,it's it's crazy because people have been telling
me that, and I didn't knowbecause personally, I don't pay attention to
too much to like the whole identitything. Most often, I'm just kind
(08:58):
of focusing on and living. Andso like when I went up there,
I didn't realize how big of adeal it would be because to me,
like, obviously, I'm just aMari. I'm just going up there.
I'm just singing. And then peopwere like first openly transperson on an American
Idol Golden ticket, and I waslike, oh, this is crazy,
Like this is I did not expectthat. So it's interesting. But yeah,
(09:20):
from what I know, first openlytrans person on the show, well,
congratulations. I mean that might bea Guinness Book of World Records factoid
there, you know, something toput on Jeopardy as well. So that's
it's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. I wonder about that, though,
Amari, because again, you kindof went overnight, just like anyone in
(09:43):
your position where you're a person whois a local singer and you know,
you're doing your thing online or whathave you. Now suddenly you're this person
that has been seen and heard aroundthe world. How does it feel to
be whether you were intending to beor not, You're now a you know,
(10:05):
the face to a certain degree,a representation to a certain degree of
what's possible for trans performers, andespecially you know, in the case of
American Idol, the most popular singingcompetition show in history, and especially since
Star Search, you being the firstat anything is going to separate you and
(10:31):
put you in a position where anyoneelse who has dreams of being liked you
or who just you know, islooking for inspiration, You're it. How
does it feel to be that person? And are you comfortable in that space?
So I'm very big on therapy,and I've talked to my therapist about
this. I understand that I amsomeone that other LGBT members of society and
(10:54):
also just humans in general of societymay relate to as like an outlayer and
like you know, just I'm onthe outside of a lot of major factions
of society. But I don't considermyself a representative of anything but myself,
and not because I want to declineany of that stuff. If I can
(11:15):
have someone relate to me, andif I can help someone feel more confident
in being themselves, then that's ahuge honor for me. I'm happy to
oblige in regards to that. ButI'm not trying to be every trans person
or every human on TV or thelike. I'm not an entertainment figure in
(11:39):
that right. I am more sojust myself. If you relate to me,
then you relate to humanity, andthat's about it. I don't want
to put the pressure of trying totake care of an entire demographic on myself,
just because I don't think anyone deservesthat. It's hard enough existing for
yourself, let alone existing for abunch of people. But if I can
(12:01):
do anything for the community obviously,Well, like, that's my community.
It's just I don't want to beI don't want to be considered like a
pioneer or the representation of an entiregroup. It's not fair to me or
anyone. I don't think that anybodyshouldn't feel that kind of pressure. You
know, that's a very measured anddare I say, mature answer to a
(12:26):
very complex question and concept. Unfortunately, there are a lot of us out
there who we find ourselves being theface of something and whether the intention was
there or not, that's just theway that it is. And if you're
trying to live that life and holdyourself up to the expectations of others,
(12:50):
and that's a lot of pressure.It's a lot of pressure, and it
sets a lot of folks up forfailure, unfortunately, because they're just not
ready and have never framed themselves inthat manner. So the fact that you're
saying flat out from the beginning,look, I'm not it's not my intention.
I just want to be me.You know, that doesn't mean I
(13:13):
won't help communities that I belong toand what have you. I think that's
fair of you to say. Butat the end of the day. I'm
not trying to be anybody's role modelanything like them. It's trying to be
a Mari. I like that.I think that's that's awesome, and I
think that being able to temper expectationscan yield the best possible results because regardless
(13:35):
of what happens in life, it'sall the human experience and there is no
one way and there's no perfect way. So you better damn sure know what
you're doing if you're going to bestanding in front of people and saying,
hey, follow me, I havethe answers, I know the way.
So the fact that you're saying,nah, I'm just a regular person just
(13:58):
trying to figure it out, justlike everybodybody else. I just want to
represent me. Does it mean thatI don't belong? Does it mean that
I won't help? But I'm nottrying to be the leader of anything.
I think that's great, that's goodstuff there. Sorry, if I represent
everyone else, I won't represent myselflike it's just I won't. And I
feel like that's who people are relatingto. They're not relating to the fact
(14:18):
that I'm trans They're relating to thefact that I am on the outside of
society, and I am a partof a group that is marginalized and a
part of a group that is disrespected. But that's the same thing as black
people. That's the same thing aswomen, that's the same thing as other
minority groups. You know. I'msure that there are people in the majority
who have related to me, likewho have been told they're not supposed to
(14:41):
be something or not allowed to likesomething. So I don't think I'm the
representative of trans people or LGBT people. I think I'm just a part of
humanity that people relate to. AndI mean I'm a normal person. Like
that's it. So you're a normalperson. But as we know, you
also have a reputation of being avery quirky person, right that too.
(15:07):
You know. For the past fewyears, I've watched Idle live in live
tweet, you know, definitely havebuilt a little community there where we do
that we react in real time tothings that are happening and what have you,
critique and all that good stuff there, which is fun, you know,
and it helps keep the show topical, especially on x AKA. Twitter
(15:28):
helped the American idol as a hashtagtrend, which hey, why not,
you know, you're entertaining us.The least we could do is talk about
it and get other people to takesome interest in it. One of the
things that I noticed about you isthe fact that your musical ability is just
incredible. You know, you singso well, which is awesome, but
(15:52):
you can do these tricks. Forinstance, you can sing to the point
where you start talking, but you'retalking in key, so you really sing
talking. I don't know what tocall that there, but whatever it is,
I like it, and it displaysa tremendous amount of control that most
people just don't have, even ifthey're singers, or at least I've never
(16:17):
heard them display that ability like youhave. Who are your musical influences?
Where's the inspiration behind stuff like thiscome from? So I love a bunch
of different genres of music, musicaltheater being one of them, and the
whole speak singing aspect is a majorfacet of that genre of music. But
I also listen to and I wasonly really allowed to listen to gospel hymns
(16:41):
when I was younger, and there'sa lot of speak singing in some of
the song choices that I was allowedto sing. And so I think it's
just more so I have a bunchof different influences, but I don't know
which and specifically would would be apart of the speak singing portion. Maybe
(17:04):
Benjamin Platt, like you know BenPlatt? Who else? Adda Mazelle does
that? Shoshana Bean does that,A lot of musical theater singers. But
also if you listen to gospel music, you'll hear them kind of testify in
the middle of a song, andthey're typically speaking on tone as well.
(17:25):
I think you can find a lotof inspiration from like different genres. Did
you grow up in a Christian household? I sure did, Sure did?
What was that? Like? Ithink in my experience it's it's not how
can I describe this, Because I'mstill Christian, I still believe in Christianity.
(17:47):
I don't think that my experience isthat of, like, oh,
growing up in a Christian household.I think it's just growing up in a
religious or overtly religious household in general. My experience was a little difficult because
I was expected to be someone.I think anybody who's expected to be someone
is going to have similar experiences becauseyou can't you can't fit that ideal that
(18:10):
whatever ideal it is, whether itbe religion or just familial It's impossible to
fit someone else's idea of who you'resupposed to be. That's why I say
you can't disappoint anyone. You candisappoint the ideals they set for you,
you know, but you can't disappointsomeone. Someone who understands or is expecting
you, know you to just beyourself isn't going to be disappointed by you.
(18:32):
You know what I mean. Iget exactly what you mean there,
and I think that's a great wayof looking at it. I wondered,
when did you officially come out astransgender? My first time being able to
think about the concept of being transgenderin general, because I didn't even know
what it was. I didn't Iwas very sheltered. Was until I think
(18:55):
maybe I was like maybe twenty three, twenty two, twenty three, I
was actually to a therapist who broughtup the concept because I just hated myself
and I didn't know why I wasreally depressed, and like I would make
sure I was always thin because Iwould gain weight in masculine places and I
didn't know That's why I didn't likeit. But like I remember my mom.
(19:19):
Whenever I would gain weight, she'dbe like, you finally look like
a man, like yes, andshe'd be so happy, and that would
bother me so much, and Ididn't know why. I did not know
why. So it wasn't until Iwas about twenty two or twenty three that
I talked to a therapist and shewas like, oh, have you thought
about gender identity? And I waslike, what do you even mean?
Like that doesn't make sense. Andthen I read on it and researched on
(19:41):
it, and I thought about it, and then I'm a very big,
like firm believer of like, youknow, don't just jump on a trend,
don't hop straight into anything. SoI researched for about four years,
and I didn't start hormones until Iwas twenty seven because I wanted to make
sure. I wanted to be surethat this is what was going to make
me feel comfortable. And when Idid decide to transition, I lost almost
(20:03):
everyone because, like I said,I grew up in that overtly religious household,
so it was taboo, like itwas you've like I destroyed everything.
I was told that, like,you know, my mom tell me like
her son died, like I wasdead and she like took out a loan
on like my life insurance policy andrefused to like pay it. So like
(20:25):
I have like a two thousand dollarsloan in my name and all this stuff,
and on top of like coming intomyself and like I just suddenly got
shelved with more responsibility. So itwas very interesting. It was a very
interesting experience. And in terms oftransitioning, I mean, I know that
you've been very open about that factthere, but it's still fairly recent that
this happened. Right when did youtransition officially? Yeah, I have a
(20:51):
transitioned about or medically transition, becauseI socially transitioned. There's two different forms
of like there are level to transitioning. Typically people socially transition first, and
that is just like allowing maybe aclose family member or friends to know,
maybe using that pronoun out in public, just to kind of prep yourself to
(21:12):
see how everything. Like there's alot of extensive like therapy and stuff involved
in transitioning and medical things involved intransitioning that people I think people think,
oh, you one day decide tocheer a woman and that's it. It's
like no, like you go totherapy. You have to get blood work
done every three months to make surethat your levels are all proper so that
you can, you know, getthe hormones that you you know, require
(21:37):
or need in order to feel mostlike yourself. You have to live a
specific lifestyle, like I had tostop smoking like vapes, tobacco like because
that's bad. It causes an upperlikelihood of stroke and all that stuff.
So it's just I don't know,Like there's a lot that goes into the
concept of transitioning. So socially transitionedprobably around twenty five. I think I
(22:04):
was like I told a few friendsaround twenty four I'm very open about like
what I'm thinking about. So Iwas like, oh, you know,
I talked to my therapist about this, and I'm thinking maybe maybe like this
is a thing for me, Andsome of my friends are like you just
realized, and other friends are like, oh wow, that's crazy. And
then I started medically transitioning when Iwas twenty seven in November, so it's
(22:26):
been about almost a year and sixmonths. Okay, so this is still
a new pair of shoes that you'rebreaking in, so to speak. Oh
yeah, so new. I wantto say, if things change, anybody
who pays attention to me in mylife, if in the future I look
a little different, it's more thanlikely the hormones, because hormones take like
(22:48):
two to five years to see actualeffects. Wow, I'm really getting an
education now. It takes that longto see the actual effects of the hormones.
That's wow fascinating. I didn't knowthat. I wonder, I mean,
how is your boyfriend holding up withall of this, because you know,
just says you're transitioning. He's alongfor the ride, He's along for
(23:11):
the journey with you. There,listen, my boyfriend. He's told me
multiple times, he's like, Ifeel so lucky to have you, which
is I mean, I have ahard time accepting compliments. And someone was
like stop and he's just like no, literally like he was like, you
get more beautiful every day, andblah blah blah blah blah, And I
mean I didn't believe him at all, honestly, because I mean, I
(23:34):
feel like a lot of people arethey look at themselves and they don't see
what their loved ones see. Butnow I get more people like stopping and
staring, and I don't think it'sa trans thing because I got whistled at
at work a couple of days,like not e of a couple days,
it was yesterday. I got whistledat, and I was like, oh,
this is weird. So it's new. Everything's new. All these experiences
(23:57):
are new. It's interesting. Ohboy, that is that's a whole other
level of something right there too.I mean, goodness, how does how
does your brain decipher the difference betweensomeone looking at you, you know,
in a negative manner and what haveyou, and someone looking at you because
(24:18):
they're attracted and they like the waythat you're looking what have you? Because
we all, we all go throughthat, anyone goes to why is that
person looking at me? What arethey staring at? What are you staring
at? But it's like, wow, there are these moments that it's not
negative at all. It's really likewow, that person sees someone that they
just think are attractive. How doesyour brain even decipher that at this point?
(24:42):
Now, Oh, that's a wholething in and of itself. I
remember when people started staring at me. I remember when it started happening.
I've always been fairly decent at makeup, but I do my makeup or whatever,
and even like one of my guybest friends I had called, like
he's really good friends with my boyfriend, Like there's nothing there obviously, like
(25:03):
platonic, super platonic. And whenhe called us like brothers, like our
entire lives. And then one dayI called just to check in and I
had my makeup done, and hewas like shocked, and I could see
him confused. He was like,like, what the heck I've had Like
my best friend showed up at myhouse and he was like, oh my
gosh. I didn't realize how differentyou look Like this is crazy, like
(25:26):
like you don't look like who Iremember you as anymore. Like it's like
it's weird, like you look likeyou, but you don't look like you.
And then I started realizing, like, oh, people are staring at
me, not because they can tellI'm trans, because I was scared.
I would hide in the house sometimesI've had experiences where people were really horrible,
and I hid in the house forlike over a month. I wouldn't
leave. My boyfriend was like,we're going on a date, and I
(25:48):
was like no, Like I wasterrified to just be myself, which is
crazy because you go to be yourself. You expect things to get better,
but typically it takes a while beforepeople accept the person that you're So it's
interesting. It's interesting. I didn'texpect it to happen, but here we
are. I guess on that thought, I think people expect that. I've
(26:10):
heard a lot of people say like, oh, you're trans nobody's going to
ever see you as a woman.Nobody's going to ever like want to be
with you. You're never going toget with somebody. This is this.
I didn't transition for people to treatme differently. I didn't expect anyone to
treat me differently. I didn't askanyone to treat me differently in regards to
that stuff. I asked to berespected. That's the same thing I've ever
asked for. So when I transitionedand people started treating me differently like that,
(26:33):
that was a hard thing to acceptbecause I was like, oh,
like, men are talking to medifferently. I noticed that some of the
things I was saying didn't carry thesame weight as it used to. I
started noticing like societal norms, likeyou get told constantly like you know,
women can't do this, and youhear women complaining about it, and as
(26:55):
somebody who like listens to everyone,I was like, I see you,
I hear you, like I feelyou understand. I don't think I understood
until the transition like genuinely started takingeffects and I was like, Oh,
people are not They're not listening tome, people like I'm not being respected.
It was really weird. It's veryodd. What about the people who
(27:17):
generally are looking at you in anegative manner and that is their intention?
What have you when it becomes thatobvious? How do you reconcile that?
How do you react to that?I remind myself that it is not my
job to be understood. It's notmy job to force someone to respect me.
My job is to protect myself andlove people. That is how I
(27:41):
feel about myself. I want tobe a lover. I want to be
respected, and that is it.If someone does not respect me, then
I just love them from a distance. I'm not going to hate you.
It's very rare for me to getupset. I do get upset. I'm
human, but it's very for meto get upset because my first instinct is
(28:02):
to understand people, and I'm notsure how much of that is just having
not been understood myself is not havinga voice myself and understanding that some people
just don't feel like they have voices, and so they attack marginalized communities.
They attack the minority because they feelminor in their life. And so I
try to understand more than anything.But I'm not here to be understood,
(28:27):
if that makes sense. I wantto understand myself. I want to love
myself. I want to be therefor myself. That's all I expect.
I don't have expectations for people.If someone wants to love me, then
I appreciate you. I'm gonna loveyou too. I'm gonna love you regardless.
But if you don't want to,that's your prerogative, know what I
mean. I'm not here to fightyou on what you think I deserve.
(28:49):
I'm going to take
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