June 21, 2023 • 36 mins
Alabama got hit on in the most HILARIOUS way ever at Whole Foods and DJ New Era goes on a rant about his love for feet. Val HATES her grandson's name and wants her daughter to change his name in today's Dear Era. PLUS 4 signs you might be dating a fake nice guy in 3 Things You NEED to Know and What the Hell Headlines HERE.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to the Alabama Show. Here'sAlabama. Good morning, Rise and shine.
It is shining. The sun's out, yes, five am in the
(00:23):
morning. Yes. And I'm doingprayer request this morning. So if you
need any prayer, just write usright now on the Alabama I want to
pray for you. I want youto pray for the car I was behind
its Starbucks today because let me tellyou road rage or something. No,
no road rage. This is funny. I gotta tell you about this.
So I'm behind this car and it'sa Dodge. It's a fast car,
(00:43):
right, oh, Dodge, okay. And so I'm looking at the license
plate and it's a bunch of jumbledletters and I'm reading the letters trying to
figure out what it means. I'mgonna tell you the letters. I figured
it out. It's so funny.SLT s h k R. You got
to throw me a hint. Giveme the first word, salt. It's
(01:04):
LT Salt Lake salt shaker, shakerlike a salt shaker. They have the
soul playing God. They It's like, I gotta pull this up and play.
And I was dying. Did youget out in TWRK? No?
I did? We'd have you everseen me twark? Oh you want to
go there? Because don't please don'tstop side down Twark in the studio right
(01:27):
now? You God bless her?Right? Which? Why do I get
it right? Bam? You kickeddown? Oh my god, she's just
twrking the studio. Bama, goodmorning? Is what the hell have lined
on? The Alabama Shaw cops arresteda woman on a drug charge and found
(01:52):
a baby raccoon in her bag.Why now, the raccoon was supposed to
lay off the cops, right,This sounds just like me. I would
have a baby raccoon in my bagbecause I've picked up an owl off the
side of the road, except Iwouldn't have drugs in the raccoon. Okay,
I was gonna say, now youhope you don't do drugs. Guess
where this happened Florida, right absolutely, Florida. Forty three year old Lindsay
(02:15):
was stopped while riding her bicycle,which did not have lights on during the
night. While the cops were talkingto her, she gave them verbal consent
to go through her backpack, sothey found a broken glass pipe with meth
in it. They tested her andshe was obviously high, and then they
found the baby raccoon and it waslike a week old baby raccoon. Why
(02:38):
would she give them consent? Though? I don't get this. Because she
was high on meth. She wasn'tpaying attention to what she was doing.
Okay, she probably thought the raccoonwas gonna throw off the cops. Right
anyway, the raccoon is safe.It's been taken to a sanctuary. Once
it gets older, it's going tobe released back into the wild. Sad
super easy trivia with the yellamashaw,Jeremy, what are you doing right now?
(03:01):
I'm dropping? Where do you workovernight? Rainbird? Steel Bill Alabama?
So are you one of the guysthat like walks way up high on
those beams up in the air.No, I work in a wherehold.
Oh okay, dangerous job. Weneed all the steel we can get over
(03:22):
here, Obama, I don't doyou want to play safer easy trivia?
Jeremy? All right, here's howit works. I'll ask the question,
d January is your lifeline? Areyou ready? What is the seventh month
of the year. Oh? Iyes, that is it. You were
(03:46):
counting it in your head, weren'tyou Jeremy, baby, I love you.
That's okay, all right. Numbertwo, Oh, I had my
I just had to see you,Okay, I had I had my sheet
with my questions on the thing,and I looked at Era and I was
like, he can see this?What shape has three sides? Yes?
That is it? And last question, finish finish this sequence north south east.
(04:13):
I'm a bank. Yes, that'sit. Also, Jeremie, job,
you just one super easy trivia andnow you get to go home and
go to sleep. Are you gonnasleep all day? What do you do?
Do you do your errands first ordo you go to sleep first?
(04:35):
I'll go leeve. I gonna wakeup in like three smart man ris All
right, well, Jeremy, welove you. Thank you for listening to
the show. All right, it'sthree things you need to know, all
right. If you live in Tescaloosa, residents have been asked to conserve water.
(04:56):
What's going on with this? Sothe Foster's Ralph Water Authority and Tescaloosa
Assets customers conserve water for now becauseFriday there were powerful straight line winds that
went through part of Tescaloosa and poweroutages have been affecting the area and it
messed up the whole water thing.Like they need the electrical pumps to push
the water through the tanks in theunderground lines to get everybody the water.
(05:20):
So you need electricity to get yourwater. And it's it's just a mess.
So you need to tell me.I can't wash my car. No,
that's not a necessity. Wash yourbutt, not your car. You
might as well say you can't washyour wash your face. They got not
your place, wash your frying pan. Don't wash the dirty plate. Just
(05:48):
grab another plate like our bake.Your priorities, get a paper plate,
right, conserve your water. I'mwashing my car. Water your dogs,
not your plants that No, plantsare living things to right, Yeah,
but they can go a few dayswithout water. Dogs can't see. I'm
so good at prioritizing. I thisis so crazy. There this submarine that
(06:14):
is lost in the ocean right now. It's a five person crew named titan
owned by ocean Gate Expeditions. Theywent down to view the Titanic wreckage on
Sunday, and so we've been watchingthis. It was lost about nine hundred
miles east of Cape Cod in theNorth Atlantic at thirteen thousand feet as of
(06:34):
yesterday. It has less than fortyhours of breathable air as of last night,
So now the clock is really tickingbecause the coast guard is looking for
them. It's it's the crew andit's been confirmed. Hamish Harding, he's
a British billionaire and adventure traveler,is the one tourist in the group.
(06:55):
He paid like two hundred and fiftythousand dollars to go do this tour hours
as of yesterday, so time isof the essence to get them and find
them before they run out of OX. So you would think somebody will put
a tracking device sense there is atracker, but they lost their satellite connection
because normally they do have that andthis was going to be the last expedition
(07:17):
of the year before Ocean Gate wasgoing to do more in twenty twenty four.
It's just a whole crazy thing.We'll keep you updated at the Alabama
Show dot com. And it's scary. This makes me never want to go
into the ocean because this is alsoa crazy thing. A crew filming a
Netflix documentary off the coast of Hawaiiwas attacked by sharks by Meg that's the
(07:39):
name, by a shark. Megthat's a that's a movie that's brand new,
like a Killer Shock or Jaws.They say it was like something out
of Jaws. That's literally what theysay. They were filming for the Netflix
docu series Our Planet Too. Theywere following along the coast in inflatable boats.
They were looking at some kind ofbird and two tiger sharks came out
(08:01):
them. One bit the boat andthe boat exploded. Luckily, they were
close to land and they all madeit away from the sharks and nobody was
injured. I'm never going in theocean. I will hate the ocean.
Even when we go to the beach. I never go too far into the
ocean because sting race, jellyfish,sharks, sharking submarines are sinking the Bermuda
(08:26):
triangle shark. I can't see thelockness monster. No. Sharks attack when
they're hungry. If you're bleeding,they say blood and they're like, oh,
somebody had been bleeding on that boat, or they just see it and
it looks no. I'm never goinginto the ocean. I'm never whales.
There was a video last week Isaw of a giant well feeding off the
(08:46):
coast of Washington and swallowed two kayakersand spin them out. I'm never going
into the ocean. I love land, Thank you Ground. I will kiss
the grass when I walk out ofthe studio. Alabama, I love you.
I will stick with the things thatI know. That hat that walk
on land and birds that fly.Screw the show. I've jumped in with
plenty of times. Well you canhave it. That's three things you need
(09:07):
to know, Martha Alabama show dotcom on the Alabama Shaw Good morning,
Valve. What's your issue for,dear Era, Well, I hate my
new grandson's name, and I wantmy daughter to change it. What's his
name? Your grandson's name? What'sthe what's the what's the story? Oh
(09:33):
my gosh, I'm tapping now,I'm tapping now. Okay. Uh So,
this has been a big fight thatmy daughter and I have been having
for the past six months. Sheand her husband have been wanting to name
her son the most ridiculous name ever. Is it like that'll be a hot
name? And it's like no,Is it like apple? Oh? You
(09:54):
know what? No? What didyou want her to name your grand So?
Okay, we had a conversation.We've been having a conversation for years,
and she said when she would havea son, she would name them
after father, Timothy James. I'mnot sweating that you said that she was
going to name her son after yourfather, after my father, her granddad,
(10:16):
Timothy James, sweating that that's notthe problem. The problem is,
all of a sudden, my grandsoncomes and she and her husband names him.
Are you ready for this name?What's his name? She named him
Atlas. Atlas is like a confience. Yeah, yeah, like Atlas,
(10:37):
the map, like the Greek god, like whatever, whatever. Whatever.
I'm like, I kind of likeit. Like that. I make you
see that reaction, that reaction rightthere, that reaction sees you after He's
like, what that's the problem.Okay, well why are you so worried
about his name being Atlas? Becausehe's gotten to grow up with this name.
(11:01):
They think it's all cute and trendianstuff. But this child has to
grow I don't know. Do youknow anybody whose name is Atlas that's not
like either a male stripper or abodyguard. Let me find it. Your
body is a map? Oh Ijust found out a stop. Oh no,
(11:24):
no, no, no, grandsoncannot grow up to be a male
stripper or or no, no,that you limit the possibility. Can you
imagine the kids that are gonna pickon him that, you know how you
know kids can be cruel? Okay, so that's gonna pick on him.
So where do we come in?How can we even help you? What
are you going to do? Tellyour daughter to change his name or what?
(11:45):
I mean? I really wish shewould. I did tell her that,
you know, when she go backto work, I would baby send
him. But now I don't.You know, now I don't want to
because we have had like like viciousarguments about it. I'm not gonna call
him Atlas. I'm never we're goingto call him that name. I think
he's a stupid name. It's adumb name. Can Val not maybe said
her grandson anymore because of his name? I mean, the reason because of
(12:11):
a name is why you don't wantto do this? To me is silly
because at the end of the day, a child's name is supposed to be
unique. Why don't you just callhim Timothy James and let her call him
Atlas? Even though who cares what'son the birth certificate? We all have
nicknames. Isn't Aara's real name that'sa business name? Like Alabama? Isn't
(12:31):
your real name. I get that, But at the same time, people
know you for your name, andyou don't want to confuse the two with
the child. So why would youwatch the child and call him this when
his name is not that? Idon't think that's smart. This is funny.
How is he going to grow up? How is he going to grow
up with that name? Honestly,can you guys honestly not say he will
(12:52):
be picked on with that name?I kind of like out Atlas, Like
now, I kind of want tosteal it for my son's name. Have
a kid young people call the showno parrot. I've met a parent for
thirty I've been a mom for thirtyyears. I'm telling you, you know,
Okay, name me a doctor.This name Atlas made me nade a
(13:15):
lawyer or senator or nade me somebodywho owns a business. Who's first name?
Vow Anyway, I love you.Let's see if we could get some
advice for you. Do you havea mom like Val who hates your kid's
name? Called the show? Eightthirty thirty five O one Bama is the
number or texts the keyword Alabama andyour message to three zero three eight two
(13:35):
vow, I love you, thisis great, this is funny. I'm
sorry, it's funny for me,not funny for you. I'm not.
I I will baby said, I'mon the real deal. I'm not.
But I'm never gonna call him thatname. You are listening to Alabama in
the Morning on demand. Val hatesher grandson's name and she wants her daughter
to change the name. They weregoing to name him Timothy James, after
(13:58):
a vow's dad, which is thedaughter's granddad, but instead she named him
Atlas and eight three three five Oone Bama is the number two way in
or text texts the keyword Alabama andyour message to three zero three eight two.
If you have a mom like Valwho hated your kid's name, I
want to hear from you. Elizabeth. What do you think about Vale hating
her grandson's name? Honestly, Ithink ridiculous. I think Atlas is a
(14:22):
good name. You think it's ridiculousthat she hates his name, or the
Atlas is a ridiculous name. Oh, I think it's ridiculous that he hates
his name. It is it's hisname. He doesn't get to name.
Are you a parent, yes,I'm a parent of four kids. Did
you name your child's I did?Well, Yeah, because it's your kid,
(14:43):
you name your own kid. Thegrandmother has no right exactly. And
I actually have a son named Adler. Oh, Adler. Adler could hang
out with Atlas. That that couldbe best friends. I love it.
Thank You's actually Adler Easton, butnobody ever makes fun of it. I
love it. Thank you for callingthe show. Thank you. Val is
(15:07):
so upset that her daughter named VAL'sgrandson Atlas. That's a cool name,
Alabama. Vow's like, I don'twant him to grow up to be a
stripper. How many Atlas is?Do you know that? Our lawyers and
doctors and all these other things?Eight three three five one Bama is the
numbered the way in? No,I don't know any strippers except for you,
(15:28):
the former stripper. You naked anywayif you went away in should Val?
Does Val have a right to tellher daughter she wants the daughter to
change her grandson's name. She's like, I'm just gonna call him something else.
Eight three three five o one Bama. Or text the keyword Alabama and
your message to three zero three eighttwo Kelly, What do you think Okay,
(15:50):
I'm dying because when we went toVegas, there was one named there
is a stripper named alas Adonis andAtlas. They were like this team that
came out and I was like,I am dying. I let my daughter
tip him. She needs to comeup. It was her twenty first birthday.
(16:11):
She needs to come up with,like her own little nickname for her
grandson. Kelly. Okay, soyou have daughters. I know you are
not a grandmother yet, but whenthey have kids, what will you do
if you do not like the namethat my own little nickname for them or
or whatever. I don't know,just some cute little nickname, you know,
(16:34):
between me and my grandbaby. Doyour parents like the name you named
your kids? Did you ever havean issue when you were naming your kids?
If people saying no, I don'tlike that. We've joked with them
about some of the funny names wewere going to come up with, but
their thought processes, that's your child, you're naming them. I'm done.
(16:55):
I raised my kids. This one'syours, right and that name has to
be some unique because it sticks withhim porosity life. It doesn't have to
be it doesn't you know? Itdoesn't have to be unique, but I
wanted to make sure that. Um, like my younger daughter Alexandria, I
always wanted one of those cool namesthat you could shorten to a nickname to
Alican. So that's why. Yeah, I love it, Kelly. That's
(17:17):
great, Thank you for calling.Love you guys. Good morning. Who's
this, Oh Jessica, Jessica,are you calling about val hating her grandson's
name? Yes? What do youthink? I bet? I think it's
ridiculous and I feel like that's controlling. This is coming from somebody who thought
for my kid's names with my exposhis family. Okay, so what what
(17:40):
did you name your kids and whatdid they want you to name your kids?
Um? Well, my youngest hername is Lenox. Oh. I
like that at Linux, like Linux, Mata Linux somebody. Yeah. Yeah,
I mean it's different if you makeit fits her personality. Okay,
but um, but I think Ithink it's kind of ridiculous not wanting to
(18:04):
baby sit your grandchild because you don'tlike the name. I understand you can
an argument with the grand but olderor whatever, but I absolutely what did
your ex's family say when you wantedto name your daughter Lenox. They did
not like that name at all.Did they have another name they wanted you
to name her um? I don'tknow, but they just did not like
that name at all. So likethey want us something to be mad about.
(18:26):
Yeah, I'm glad you stuck yourground. I like Lenox. That's
a great name. Yeah, Ilike you too. I think I love
it, like I absolutely want onethat I heard it and I fell in
love with it, and like theentire time I was pregnant, I'm like,
Nope, that's her name. Here'sthe rule. If you don't carry
the baby in your roomb for ninemonths and go through morning sickness, contractions,
(18:48):
pregnancy pain, you don't get toname the baby. Oh so you
mean to tell me that guy doesn'thave an input with that. You get
to make suggestions, but you didn'tcarry the baby in your stomach, and
you didn't give birth through the birthcanal. No. I kind of feel
like that would be one of thosepeople that would announce the baby's birth before
the mom and dad go too.She would leave be that person. I
(19:08):
love you, thank you for callingthe show. It's what the hell had
line on the Alabama Show, awoman refuses to remove a massive werewolf from
her yard. Why why does thissound like something dealer with, like the
grown up of something? No?No, no, how would you get
(19:30):
a werewolf in the grown up?Where is your head? Where was?
We know aren't real so there hasto be some role playing going on some
way. No, it's an Ohiowoman. She has a werewolf decoration,
probably left over from Halloween and thisokay, Halloween, what's the most unity.
It's in her front yard and therewas an anonymous complaint to the city
(19:52):
and they've been asking her to takeit off of her front yard. Listen
to her talk about it. He'sgot a cable that that pins him down
to the back, and then theplatform itself it has pens in it.
It's steaked into the ground. Soin order to get him out, we
have to take all those steaks upand then take all that out. So
I mean you really have to tosshim to try to get him to fall
down. She obviously does not livein a place with the HLA. You
(20:17):
know what keep the real wolf ofday is probably keeping away the bad guys.
Why, there's three things you needto know. Are you a fan
of Sonic slushies? Yes, ma'am. There's two new flavors and they sound
real good. You know what thisis like the fifth time they upgraded this
summer with flavors. I love itand I want to go try these.
We're not getting paid to say this, but we should. They've got the
(20:40):
new Polynesian Slushy. It's Hawaiian inspired, refreshing sweetness. Sounds good. And
then the Tropical Colado with coconut,pineapple, and banana flavors. Oh man,
I'm so hungry and I'm on adiet and I can't even break trying.
I should go get one and sendyou a picture of it. You
taste great. I will show upat your apartment in the middle of the
night and strangle you in your sleep. You sure you want to do that?
(21:03):
Okay? I love me, youknow I really won't. But I
don't do that. You won't bethe most show. Okay? Which one
do you want to hear? Next? Do you want to hear about Courtney
being pregnant or dating? If we'lldo that one? Okay? In La
Courtney Kardashian announced at the Blink oneeighty two concerts. She was holding up
a sign that said, Travis,I'm pregnant, and fans were like,
(21:26):
oh, he already knew, Whydid you do that? Blah blah blah,
because he jumped off the stage inthe middle of the show and came
down and kissed her. They've beentrying to have it maybe for a while.
I did not know this and youwill love this that Actually the announcement
pays homage to one of the Blinkone eighty two videos. There's a very
famous Blink one eighty two video thatit's called All the Small Things for their
(21:48):
song All the Small Things. Ifyou watch the video, there are several
moments in the video where fans arestanding around the band and holding up signs,
and there's one moment in the videothat flashes to a sign of a
fan holding up a sign saying Travis, I'm pregnant. So Courtney literally she
never said that's what she was doing, but if you're a Bleak one eighty
two fan, you know that's whatshe did. Why not just send an
(22:11):
easy text, miss babe, I'mpregnant. This was the announcement for the
world. I'm sure that he knew, and they talked about it before they
He definitely already knew that was howthey announced it to the world. It
was recreating the scene from one oftheir music videos, which I think is
the coolest and sweetest thing ever.Because you don't make the announcement until you're
(22:32):
at least three months pregnant. Anyway, that's the that's the rule. I
guess I'm bored. So they thinkthat the due date will be around October,
between October and December in the fallwinter. I'm hoping November Scorpio baby,
because Aara's birthday is November Scorpio.Okay, here are the signs you
are dating a fake nice guy.Okay, this is so funny because you
(22:52):
do one of these. Who hetells you he's a nice guy. Oh,
if he has to say he's notreally a nice guy. He's trying
to cover up for something. WhatI mean, his words and actions do
not match. I agree with this. Sometimes a guy will say one thing
and act another way. That's afake nice guy. If he says,
(23:14):
oh, I'm a hopeless romantic,but you don't hear from him for two
weeks, you know what he's doing. If he said we'll take you to
MacDonald but take you to Out ofEast two for twenty well, I will
take the upgrade really okay if hesays he's never at fault, like if
he never takes responsibility for his actions, if he always blames everybody else for
all the things that have gone wrong, because we all do things, we
(23:38):
all mess up, it's not perfect. At some point a guy's got to
be like, I was wrong,I'm sorry, and the last one.
He gets upset when he does notget his way as sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes
what Sometimes I may get mad becauseI spend so much energy on other people
(24:03):
and what and their needs. Iforget about minds. So when it comes
time for me to have my wayand it don't go my way, I
can get upset. What are youdoing? Do you have a meltdown?
You go? Do you send longnovels of text messages? I used to
do that. I stopped doing thatbecause I've learned that nobody's going to read
all this. What do you donow? I just sit on the patio
and freeball it real talk. Ohthat's three things you need to know.
(24:26):
Stop so true. More at theAlabama Show dot com. Here's what's coming
up next on The Alabama Show.What's awesome in your life? Maybe you're
dating a real nice guy instead ofa fake nice guy. I'm not saying
I'm nice, but I'm a gentleman. What's what's awesome on the text line?
We gotta what's awesome on the texthand. I just got accepted.
(24:47):
It's a nursing school. Yes,good job. That could be what's awesome?
Whatever you want to celebrate call theshow eight three three five O one
Bama. What's your What's awesome?Catch up with Alabama in the morning on
the Heart radio app or wherever youlisten to podcasts. So if you can
ever get through the phone lines,we love to read your text text the
keyword Alabama and your message in thesame text message to three zero three eight
(25:08):
two some uplifting We're doing what's awesome? We want to hear what's awesome in
your life. But I'll tell youan awesome text that just came in because
we were talking earlier about val whohates her grandson's name, who's named Atlas,
And somebody texted in and said,I know somebody with a kid named
Atlas. He's almost ten, andit's he's like the greatest kid, and
(25:29):
it's the coolest name. I lovethat name. I bet you he get
all the ladies too. He mightwhen he grows up. He's a baby
now anyway. Eight three three fiveone Bama is the number to share your
what's awesome? David, good morning. Do you have a what's awesome?
And? Yeah? I just gota new job. Yeah about tomorrow?
Where is it? What's your newjob? Vulcan engineering? Whoa so engineer?
(25:52):
That's a good paycheck, is it? I'm just creating electrical panels.
Yeah, to be a day paycheck. Are you single? I am?
Do you want to go out todinner? Who's buying you? David?
David, don't fall Yes, I'mjust cheesy. Is gonna get get onto
me for that? But now that'swhat's awesome. Congratulations. You'll have to
(26:15):
call us after you've had your firstweek at your new job and tell us
how you like it. Yes,callers, thank you so much. I
will. You're listening to Alabama inthe morning on demand. I've been waiting
to tell you the greatest story ever. Sounds like a Hairy Potter movie,
like far far away in a magicalland, something like that. What happened
(26:36):
to me is something that you woulddo? Is magical? Eight three three
five one Bama. Is the numberto call the show? What's the weirdest
place or why anybody has ever hiton you? So I'm at Whole Foods,
the healthiest place to ever get food. Yeah, I love it already.
I'm walking through the International Food I'llI'm pushing my shopping cart. It's
(27:03):
early in the morning. I'm inmy yoga pants. Even better. You
just can't for the no make up, No mate, I came from doing
farm chores. I'm pushing my cart. I'm sitting there in front of the
was Sabie looking at the Asian food. I love with Sabie like I literally
(27:26):
I love I love man. Ilove me some sushi. Oh, I
know you do. And this guypushes his cart next to mine, And
what do you say? What doyou say? He looks at me like
he knows me? And I'm thinkinghe's about to say something like, hey,
I listen to the show or whatever, or maybe I know this guy.
I don't know. Here's what hesaid, You got some pretty toes,
(27:51):
yes, like yeah, yeah,he's a Steve Man. You've gotta
is this guy shot? You gotthis guys? So you know what?
I looked at him. All Icould do was bust out laughing because I
instantly thought of you. Because weplay a game on the show called is
(28:11):
it an adult movie? Your fingernailpolish Color? Because DJ new Era loves
women's toast, you gotta have himon the show. So I laughed and
I just said, I said thankyou, and I walked over to the
frozen foods Oh, come on,and then I turned around. I was
laughing so hard. He caught meon a good day. I turned around
(28:32):
and I walked back to him andI said, Hey, are you from
here? And he goes, yeah, I'm from here. And I said,
have you heard of the Alabama showyou advertising? I said, with
the girl and DJ new Era.He goes, yeah, I'm heard of
it. I said that's me.Yes, I said, my co host
(28:55):
D January has a foot fetish,serious foot fetish. I'm sorry I laughed
at you when you hit on me, but I just I thought of him,
and I couldn't stop laughing. Hewas, okay, I'll check it
out right, so then I'll walkaway. I got back to to the
frozen food aisle and then about threeminutes later, he comes pushing his cart
back by me again and he goes, are you married. Yeah, there
(29:19):
an that question. No, Itold him. I said, I'm sorry,
I'm taking sorry, buddy, Idon't want some guys sucking on my
feet. Why not? You knowI love feet. That's a mental connection
right there. I look, Istarted with this, no mental connection for
mental connection fee. If you're ableto make somebody happy just by rubbing their
(29:41):
feet before anything else, that's howyou can, like really mester the mound
up in a good way. You'venever heard of this. You can rub
my feet, that's fine, butyou ain't sucking on my toes. Well
correction, I'm not doing it.No, that's a that's an hr conlint.
I will not now now, Ohgod, listen out now. The
(30:04):
whole fool guy all day. Iwas not attracted to him at all.
Oh, come on, just anyway, what's the weirdest place somebody has ever
hit on you? Eight three threefive one bamas the number? Catch up
on Alabama in the morning, onthe iHeart radio app or wherever you listen
to podcasts. What's the weirdest placeor way anybody has ever hit on you?
(30:29):
Oh Man, good stories? Eightthree three five one BAMA is the
number. Because a guy walked upto me at Whole Foods and said,
oh, you got some pretty toast. Hey, you gott I am not
a feet girl. Just because helikes it doesn't mean I like it.
This is I laughed because Era isa foot person, and I feel like
you would go up to a girland say this. No I would not,
But once I get to know thatperson, if I get a shot,
(30:52):
I would bring that out. Ohlord, eight three three five one
bamas the number or text Alabama andyour message to three zero at three eight
to Chris. Has anybody hit onyou in a weird spot? When I
was on a date with someone else, somebody hit on you, Not on
me, but on the date thatI had. What Yeah, what happened?
(31:14):
So we're going to this restaurant andwe're getting seated by the hostess and
it was a giant restaurant. Ohhell, and this waiter staring at her
from like way across the restaurant.Was it your waiter? Yeah No,
it wasn't. That was That wasalmost the worst part. We were like
in a totally different section. Ohno, if it was your waiter,
I would have said, don't tipthe guy, right, And so I
(31:37):
told her, Hey, this guy'sgonna be a problem. And she thought
it was crazy, you know,she thought it was being paranoid. Well,
sure enough, midway through the meal, I get up and I go
to the bathroom and I come backand he's standing there chatting her up.
As I'm coming back to the table. Oh what did you do? What
did you do? What did yousay to him? Food fight? I
just gave him a look in aneyebrow raise and he scurried off. But
(31:59):
it was like, come on,now, you never that's that's like one
oh one. Don't date on,don't hit on somebody that's on a date.
Yeah, it was bad. Itwas Arrow would have fought for you.
Yeah, Chris, I was goingto say, when it comes to
that, man, I'm very protective. So I got you back to munched
a guy for doing that before.No, but I've had words with a
guy, oh boy, and itended in hey, why don't you DJ
(32:21):
my win? Oh my god,I'm just being one thousand. I love
you, Chris, Thanks for sharing. That's the story. You were listening
to Alabama in the morning on demand. I can't believe you just try to
convince me to a random guy fromWhole Food suck my toes. I'm not
trying to convince you that I'm givingyou an opportunity to explore. I don't
(32:43):
know, I know. Thanks forlistening to the Alabama Show. I'm Alabama
with de January. Good morning,my lovely co host who has a foot
fetish. I have a series one. There is a man who walked up
to me at Whole Foods the otherday and said, you got some pretty
toes. Hey he saw yoga fans. He's like, he's coming from the
gym. She's healthy. I startedlaughing and instantly thought about Era. And
(33:06):
I've been holding this story in fora couple of days and it's been the
hardest thing ever. So what's theweirdest way anybody has ever hit on you?
Three five one BEMA is the number, texts the keyword Alabama and your
message to three zero three eight two. Era says he has a story.
Were you the one being hit on? Or were you the one hitting on
somebody? I was the one beinghit on. You know, I work
out a lot consistently, so girlslove Era. Right, So when I
(33:28):
work out in the gym on legday, I have on these things called
leggings. No, no, they'relike compression, say the word, but
they're like they're shorts that come almostup to mine. Oh you're wearing booty
shorts right there you go. That'sanother way of saying it. And this
girl walks out to me and says, hey, you need a partner.
I would love to squat you inyour shorts. Those were her exact words,
(33:52):
and it made me so uncomfortable becauseI'm like, wait a minute,
boy, I would love to squatyou in your show. I would love
to help you, help you out. And your shorts? What are these
like? Tight short? They're verytight, very tight, and it shows
the tattoos on my thighs and everything. What did these shorts look like?
Are they a solid color or dothey have designs on? Does it look
(34:14):
like you're wearing tiny white? Iactually have them all right now, clothes
my clothes right now, because whenI leave you underwear, no no,
no, no, can I seethem? Hey, it'll have to be
Let me see if you're wearing itto the gym. Let me see show
me right now, let me seeyou to explain. Don't show me the
(34:37):
back. That's even worse. Justgive me a sneak pick. Just show
me the side. I want tosee what color they are? Where the
girl they're trying to squat you?Let me see they're black? Oh my
god. Don't you see how smallthey stand up? You see they come
up to like right here. That'ssuper small. You're working out at the
gym and your underwear those are notunderwear. It's so I catch underwear.
(35:01):
It's hot outside, so I wantwatch your own side in an air conditioned
Jim, I haven't no bam way. This says, Okay, when you
work out, you want to becomfortable, right, call the show.
You don't want to be uncomfortable.Well, she was real comfortable squatting you.
Hey, she's oh god show?So where does why anybody's ever hit
(35:21):
on any late? Three three fiveone bamas the number? Catch up with
Alabama in the morning on the iHeartradio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
So don't go up to a girland say she's got pretty toes today.
I'm not going to see anything ofthat nature. Don't have a kid.
Name it something that your mom willhate. I'm done having kids.
You don't know. You never knowwhat if you accidentally have one. Hey,
(35:45):
greater things have happened in the universehas a kid? What's tomorrow?
Oh, you know what we're doingtomorrow. By the way, we're done.
But anything you missed on the show, you gotta go listen. Today
was great. Look up the AlabamaShow on demand in the free I Heart
Radio app. And tomorrow, makesure you wake up really early listen to
us at six am because tomorrow Erais gonna learn what it's like to wear
(36:07):
spanks. Oh that's what we're doingtomorrow. I gotta put these on tomorrow
and where I'm doing the show,let me track it at to my Amazon.
It should be delivered today. Yeah, tomorrow, that's gonna happen.
We'll see you bright and early atsix am. You got a big size
bye than than Thanks for listening toAlabama in the Morning on demand.
Welcome to the Alabama Show. Here'sAlabama. Good morning, Rise and shine.
It is shining. The sun's out, yes, five am in the
(00:23):
morning. Yes. And I'm doingprayer request this morning. So if you
need any prayer, just write usright now on the Alabama I want to
pray for you. I want youto pray for the car I was behind
its Starbucks today because let me tellyou road rage or something. No,
no road rage. This is funny. I gotta tell you about this.
So I'm behind this car and it'sa Dodge. It's a fast car,
(00:43):
right, oh, Dodge, okay. And so I'm looking at the license
plate and it's a bunch of jumbledletters and I'm reading the letters trying to
figure out what it means. I'mgonna tell you the letters. I figured
it out. It's so funny.SLT s h k R. You got
to throw me a hint. Giveme the first word, salt. It's
(01:04):
LT Salt Lake salt shaker, shakerlike a salt shaker. They have the
soul playing God. They It's like, I gotta pull this up and play.
And I was dying. Did youget out in TWRK? No?
I did? We'd have you everseen me twark? Oh you want to
go there? Because don't please don'tstop side down Twark in the studio right
(01:27):
now? You God bless her?Right? Which? Why do I get
it right? Bam? You kickeddown? Oh my god, she's just
twrking the studio. Bama, goodmorning? Is what the hell have lined
on? The Alabama Shaw cops arresteda woman on a drug charge and found
(01:52):
a baby raccoon in her bag.Why now, the raccoon was supposed to
lay off the cops, right,This sounds just like me. I would
have a baby raccoon in my bagbecause I've picked up an owl off the
side of the road, except Iwouldn't have drugs in the raccoon. Okay,
I was gonna say, now youhope you don't do drugs. Guess
where this happened Florida, right absolutely, Florida. Forty three year old Lindsay
(02:15):
was stopped while riding her bicycle,which did not have lights on during the
night. While the cops were talkingto her, she gave them verbal consent
to go through her backpack, sothey found a broken glass pipe with meth
in it. They tested her andshe was obviously high, and then they
found the baby raccoon and it waslike a week old baby raccoon. Why
(02:38):
would she give them consent? Though? I don't get this. Because she
was high on meth. She wasn'tpaying attention to what she was doing.
Okay, she probably thought the raccoonwas gonna throw off the cops. Right
anyway, the raccoon is safe.It's been taken to a sanctuary. Once
it gets older, it's going tobe released back into the wild. Sad
super easy trivia with the yellamashaw,Jeremy, what are you doing right now?
(03:01):
I'm dropping? Where do you workovernight? Rainbird? Steel Bill Alabama?
So are you one of the guysthat like walks way up high on
those beams up in the air.No, I work in a wherehold.
Oh okay, dangerous job. Weneed all the steel we can get over
(03:22):
here, Obama, I don't doyou want to play safer easy trivia?
Jeremy? All right, here's howit works. I'll ask the question,
d January is your lifeline? Areyou ready? What is the seventh month
of the year. Oh? Iyes, that is it. You were
(03:46):
counting it in your head, weren'tyou Jeremy, baby, I love you.
That's okay, all right. Numbertwo, Oh, I had my
I just had to see you,Okay, I had I had my sheet
with my questions on the thing,and I looked at Era and I was
like, he can see this?What shape has three sides? Yes?
That is it? And last question, finish finish this sequence north south east.
(04:13):
I'm a bank. Yes, that'sit. Also, Jeremie, job,
you just one super easy trivia andnow you get to go home and
go to sleep. Are you gonnasleep all day? What do you do?
Do you do your errands first ordo you go to sleep first?
(04:35):
I'll go leeve. I gonna wakeup in like three smart man ris All
right, well, Jeremy, welove you. Thank you for listening to
the show. All right, it'sthree things you need to know, all
right. If you live in Tescaloosa, residents have been asked to conserve water.
(04:56):
What's going on with this? Sothe Foster's Ralph Water Authority and Tescaloosa
Assets customers conserve water for now becauseFriday there were powerful straight line winds that
went through part of Tescaloosa and poweroutages have been affecting the area and it
messed up the whole water thing.Like they need the electrical pumps to push
the water through the tanks in theunderground lines to get everybody the water.
(05:20):
So you need electricity to get yourwater. And it's it's just a mess.
So you need to tell me.I can't wash my car. No,
that's not a necessity. Wash yourbutt, not your car. You
might as well say you can't washyour wash your face. They got not
your place, wash your frying pan. Don't wash the dirty plate. Just
(05:48):
grab another plate like our bake.Your priorities, get a paper plate,
right, conserve your water. I'mwashing my car. Water your dogs,
not your plants that No, plantsare living things to right, Yeah,
but they can go a few dayswithout water. Dogs can't see. I'm
so good at prioritizing. I thisis so crazy. There this submarine that
(06:14):
is lost in the ocean right now. It's a five person crew named titan
owned by ocean Gate Expeditions. Theywent down to view the Titanic wreckage on
Sunday, and so we've been watchingthis. It was lost about nine hundred
miles east of Cape Cod in theNorth Atlantic at thirteen thousand feet as of
(06:34):
yesterday. It has less than fortyhours of breathable air as of last night,
So now the clock is really tickingbecause the coast guard is looking for
them. It's it's the crew andit's been confirmed. Hamish Harding, he's
a British billionaire and adventure traveler,is the one tourist in the group.
(06:55):
He paid like two hundred and fiftythousand dollars to go do this tour hours
as of yesterday, so time isof the essence to get them and find
them before they run out of OX. So you would think somebody will put
a tracking device sense there is atracker, but they lost their satellite connection
because normally they do have that andthis was going to be the last expedition
(07:17):
of the year before Ocean Gate wasgoing to do more in twenty twenty four.
It's just a whole crazy thing.We'll keep you updated at the Alabama
Show dot com. And it's scary. This makes me never want to go
into the ocean because this is alsoa crazy thing. A crew filming a
Netflix documentary off the coast of Hawaiiwas attacked by sharks by Meg that's the
(07:39):
name, by a shark. Megthat's a that's a movie that's brand new,
like a Killer Shock or Jaws.They say it was like something out
of Jaws. That's literally what theysay. They were filming for the Netflix
docu series Our Planet Too. Theywere following along the coast in inflatable boats.
They were looking at some kind ofbird and two tiger sharks came out
(08:01):
them. One bit the boat andthe boat exploded. Luckily, they were
close to land and they all madeit away from the sharks and nobody was
injured. I'm never going in theocean. I will hate the ocean.
Even when we go to the beach. I never go too far into the
ocean because sting race, jellyfish,sharks, sharking submarines are sinking the Bermuda
(08:26):
triangle shark. I can't see thelockness monster. No. Sharks attack when
they're hungry. If you're bleeding,they say blood and they're like, oh,
somebody had been bleeding on that boat, or they just see it and
it looks no. I'm never goinginto the ocean. I'm never whales.
There was a video last week Isaw of a giant well feeding off the
(08:46):
coast of Washington and swallowed two kayakersand spin them out. I'm never going
into the ocean. I love land, Thank you Ground. I will kiss
the grass when I walk out ofthe studio. Alabama, I love you.
I will stick with the things thatI know. That hat that walk
on land and birds that fly.Screw the show. I've jumped in with
plenty of times. Well you canhave it. That's three things you need
(09:07):
to know, Martha Alabama show dotcom on the Alabama Shaw Good morning,
Valve. What's your issue for,dear Era, Well, I hate my
new grandson's name, and I wantmy daughter to change it. What's his
name? Your grandson's name? What'sthe what's the what's the story? Oh
(09:33):
my gosh, I'm tapping now,I'm tapping now. Okay. Uh So,
this has been a big fight thatmy daughter and I have been having
for the past six months. Sheand her husband have been wanting to name
her son the most ridiculous name ever. Is it like that'll be a hot
name? And it's like no,Is it like apple? Oh? You
(09:54):
know what? No? What didyou want her to name your grand So?
Okay, we had a conversation.We've been having a conversation for years,
and she said when she would havea son, she would name them
after father, Timothy James. I'mnot sweating that you said that she was
going to name her son after yourfather, after my father, her granddad,
(10:16):
Timothy James, sweating that that's notthe problem. The problem is,
all of a sudden, my grandsoncomes and she and her husband names him.
Are you ready for this name?What's his name? She named him
Atlas. Atlas is like a confience. Yeah, yeah, like Atlas,
(10:37):
the map, like the Greek god, like whatever, whatever. Whatever.
I'm like, I kind of likeit. Like that. I make you
see that reaction, that reaction rightthere, that reaction sees you after He's
like, what that's the problem.Okay, well why are you so worried
about his name being Atlas? Becausehe's gotten to grow up with this name.
(11:01):
They think it's all cute and trendianstuff. But this child has to
grow I don't know. Do youknow anybody whose name is Atlas that's not
like either a male stripper or abodyguard. Let me find it. Your
body is a map? Oh Ijust found out a stop. Oh no,
(11:24):
no, no, no, grandsoncannot grow up to be a male
stripper or or no, no,that you limit the possibility. Can you
imagine the kids that are gonna pickon him that, you know how you
know kids can be cruel? Okay, so that's gonna pick on him.
So where do we come in?How can we even help you? What
are you going to do? Tellyour daughter to change his name or what?
(11:45):
I mean? I really wish shewould. I did tell her that,
you know, when she go backto work, I would baby send
him. But now I don't.You know, now I don't want to
because we have had like like viciousarguments about it. I'm not gonna call
him Atlas. I'm never we're goingto call him that name. I think
he's a stupid name. It's adumb name. Can Val not maybe said
her grandson anymore because of his name? I mean, the reason because of
(12:11):
a name is why you don't wantto do this? To me is silly
because at the end of the day, a child's name is supposed to be
unique. Why don't you just callhim Timothy James and let her call him
Atlas? Even though who cares what'son the birth certificate? We all have
nicknames. Isn't Aara's real name that'sa business name? Like Alabama? Isn't
(12:31):
your real name. I get that, But at the same time, people
know you for your name, andyou don't want to confuse the two with
the child. So why would youwatch the child and call him this when
his name is not that? Idon't think that's smart. This is funny.
How is he going to grow up? How is he going to grow
up with that name? Honestly,can you guys honestly not say he will
(12:52):
be picked on with that name?I kind of like out Atlas, Like
now, I kind of want tosteal it for my son's name. Have
a kid young people call the showno parrot. I've met a parent for
thirty I've been a mom for thirtyyears. I'm telling you, you know,
Okay, name me a doctor.This name Atlas made me nade a
(13:15):
lawyer or senator or nade me somebodywho owns a business. Who's first name?
Vow Anyway, I love you.Let's see if we could get some
advice for you. Do you havea mom like Val who hates your kid's
name? Called the show? Eightthirty thirty five O one Bama is the
number or texts the keyword Alabama andyour message to three zero three eight two
(13:35):
vow, I love you, thisis great, this is funny. I'm
sorry, it's funny for me,not funny for you. I'm not.
I I will baby said, I'mon the real deal. I'm not.
But I'm never gonna call him thatname. You are listening to Alabama in
the Morning on demand. Val hatesher grandson's name and she wants her daughter
to change the name. They weregoing to name him Timothy James, after
(13:58):
a vow's dad, which is thedaughter's granddad, but instead she named him
Atlas and eight three three five Oone Bama is the number two way in
or text texts the keyword Alabama andyour message to three zero three eight two.
If you have a mom like Valwho hated your kid's name, I
want to hear from you. Elizabeth. What do you think about Vale hating
her grandson's name? Honestly, Ithink ridiculous. I think Atlas is a
(14:22):
good name. You think it's ridiculousthat she hates his name, or the
Atlas is a ridiculous name. Oh, I think it's ridiculous that he hates
his name. It is it's hisname. He doesn't get to name.
Are you a parent, yes,I'm a parent of four kids. Did
you name your child's I did?Well, Yeah, because it's your kid,
(14:43):
you name your own kid. Thegrandmother has no right exactly. And
I actually have a son named Adler. Oh, Adler. Adler could hang
out with Atlas. That that couldbe best friends. I love it.
Thank You's actually Adler Easton, butnobody ever makes fun of it. I
love it. Thank you for callingthe show. Thank you. Val is
(15:07):
so upset that her daughter named VAL'sgrandson Atlas. That's a cool name,
Alabama. Vow's like, I don'twant him to grow up to be a
stripper. How many Atlas is?Do you know that? Our lawyers and
doctors and all these other things?Eight three three five one Bama is the
numbered the way in? No,I don't know any strippers except for you,
(15:28):
the former stripper. You naked anywayif you went away in should Val?
Does Val have a right to tellher daughter she wants the daughter to
change her grandson's name. She's like, I'm just gonna call him something else.
Eight three three five o one Bama. Or text the keyword Alabama and
your message to three zero three eighttwo Kelly, What do you think Okay,
(15:50):
I'm dying because when we went toVegas, there was one named there
is a stripper named alas Adonis andAtlas. They were like this team that
came out and I was like,I am dying. I let my daughter
tip him. She needs to comeup. It was her twenty first birthday.
(16:11):
She needs to come up with,like her own little nickname for her
grandson. Kelly. Okay, soyou have daughters. I know you are
not a grandmother yet, but whenthey have kids, what will you do
if you do not like the namethat my own little nickname for them or
or whatever. I don't know,just some cute little nickname, you know,
(16:34):
between me and my grandbaby. Doyour parents like the name you named
your kids? Did you ever havean issue when you were naming your kids?
If people saying no, I don'tlike that. We've joked with them
about some of the funny names wewere going to come up with, but
their thought processes, that's your child, you're naming them. I'm done.
(16:55):
I raised my kids. This one'syours, right and that name has to
be some unique because it sticks withhim porosity life. It doesn't have to
be it doesn't you know? Itdoesn't have to be unique, but I
wanted to make sure that. Um, like my younger daughter Alexandria, I
always wanted one of those cool namesthat you could shorten to a nickname to
Alican. So that's why. Yeah, I love it, Kelly. That's
(17:17):
great, Thank you for calling.Love you guys. Good morning. Who's
this, Oh Jessica, Jessica,are you calling about val hating her grandson's
name? Yes? What do youthink? I bet? I think it's
ridiculous and I feel like that's controlling. This is coming from somebody who thought
for my kid's names with my exposhis family. Okay, so what what
(17:40):
did you name your kids and whatdid they want you to name your kids?
Um? Well, my youngest hername is Lenox. Oh. I
like that at Linux, like Linux, Mata Linux somebody. Yeah. Yeah,
I mean it's different if you makeit fits her personality. Okay,
but um, but I think Ithink it's kind of ridiculous not wanting to
(18:04):
baby sit your grandchild because you don'tlike the name. I understand you can
an argument with the grand but olderor whatever, but I absolutely what did
your ex's family say when you wantedto name your daughter Lenox. They did
not like that name at all.Did they have another name they wanted you
to name her um? I don'tknow, but they just did not like
that name at all. So likethey want us something to be mad about.
(18:26):
Yeah, I'm glad you stuck yourground. I like Lenox. That's
a great name. Yeah, Ilike you too. I think I love
it, like I absolutely want onethat I heard it and I fell in
love with it, and like theentire time I was pregnant, I'm like,
Nope, that's her name. Here'sthe rule. If you don't carry
the baby in your roomb for ninemonths and go through morning sickness, contractions,
(18:48):
pregnancy pain, you don't get toname the baby. Oh so you
mean to tell me that guy doesn'thave an input with that. You get
to make suggestions, but you didn'tcarry the baby in your stomach, and
you didn't give birth through the birthcanal. No. I kind of feel
like that would be one of thosepeople that would announce the baby's birth before
the mom and dad go too.She would leave be that person. I
(19:08):
love you, thank you for callingthe show. It's what the hell had
line on the Alabama Show, awoman refuses to remove a massive werewolf from
her yard. Why why does thissound like something dealer with, like the
grown up of something? No?No, no, how would you get
(19:30):
a werewolf in the grown up?Where is your head? Where was?
We know aren't real so there hasto be some role playing going on some
way. No, it's an Ohiowoman. She has a werewolf decoration,
probably left over from Halloween and thisokay, Halloween, what's the most unity.
It's in her front yard and therewas an anonymous complaint to the city
(19:52):
and they've been asking her to takeit off of her front yard. Listen
to her talk about it. He'sgot a cable that that pins him down
to the back, and then theplatform itself it has pens in it.
It's steaked into the ground. Soin order to get him out, we
have to take all those steaks upand then take all that out. So
I mean you really have to tosshim to try to get him to fall
down. She obviously does not livein a place with the HLA. You
(20:17):
know what keep the real wolf ofday is probably keeping away the bad guys.
Why, there's three things you needto know. Are you a fan
of Sonic slushies? Yes, ma'am. There's two new flavors and they sound
real good. You know what thisis like the fifth time they upgraded this
summer with flavors. I love itand I want to go try these.
We're not getting paid to say this, but we should. They've got the
(20:40):
new Polynesian Slushy. It's Hawaiian inspired, refreshing sweetness. Sounds good. And
then the Tropical Colado with coconut,pineapple, and banana flavors. Oh man,
I'm so hungry and I'm on adiet and I can't even break trying.
I should go get one and sendyou a picture of it. You
taste great. I will show upat your apartment in the middle of the
night and strangle you in your sleep. You sure you want to do that?
(21:03):
Okay? I love me, youknow I really won't. But I
don't do that. You won't bethe most show. Okay? Which one
do you want to hear? Next? Do you want to hear about Courtney
being pregnant or dating? If we'lldo that one? Okay? In La
Courtney Kardashian announced at the Blink oneeighty two concerts. She was holding up
a sign that said, Travis,I'm pregnant, and fans were like,
(21:26):
oh, he already knew, Whydid you do that? Blah blah blah,
because he jumped off the stage inthe middle of the show and came
down and kissed her. They've beentrying to have it maybe for a while.
I did not know this and youwill love this that Actually the announcement
pays homage to one of the Blinkone eighty two videos. There's a very
famous Blink one eighty two video thatit's called All the Small Things for their
(21:48):
song All the Small Things. Ifyou watch the video, there are several
moments in the video where fans arestanding around the band and holding up signs,
and there's one moment in the videothat flashes to a sign of a
fan holding up a sign saying Travis, I'm pregnant. So Courtney literally she
never said that's what she was doing, but if you're a Bleak one eighty
two fan, you know that's whatshe did. Why not just send an
(22:11):
easy text, miss babe, I'mpregnant. This was the announcement for the
world. I'm sure that he knew, and they talked about it before they
He definitely already knew that was howthey announced it to the world. It
was recreating the scene from one oftheir music videos, which I think is
the coolest and sweetest thing ever.Because you don't make the announcement until you're
(22:32):
at least three months pregnant. Anyway, that's the that's the rule. I
guess I'm bored. So they thinkthat the due date will be around October,
between October and December in the fallwinter. I'm hoping November Scorpio baby,
because Aara's birthday is November Scorpio.Okay, here are the signs you
are dating a fake nice guy.Okay, this is so funny because you
(22:52):
do one of these. Who hetells you he's a nice guy. Oh,
if he has to say he's notreally a nice guy. He's trying
to cover up for something. WhatI mean, his words and actions do
not match. I agree with this. Sometimes a guy will say one thing
and act another way. That's afake nice guy. If he says,
(23:14):
oh, I'm a hopeless romantic,but you don't hear from him for two
weeks, you know what he's doing. If he said we'll take you to
MacDonald but take you to Out ofEast two for twenty well, I will
take the upgrade really okay if hesays he's never at fault, like if
he never takes responsibility for his actions, if he always blames everybody else for
all the things that have gone wrong, because we all do things, we
(23:38):
all mess up, it's not perfect. At some point a guy's got to
be like, I was wrong,I'm sorry, and the last one.
He gets upset when he does notget his way as sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes
what Sometimes I may get mad becauseI spend so much energy on other people
(24:03):
and what and their needs. Iforget about minds. So when it comes
time for me to have my wayand it don't go my way, I
can get upset. What are youdoing? Do you have a meltdown?
You go? Do you send longnovels of text messages? I used to
do that. I stopped doing thatbecause I've learned that nobody's going to read
all this. What do you donow? I just sit on the patio
and freeball it real talk. Ohthat's three things you need to know.
(24:26):
Stop so true. More at theAlabama Show dot com. Here's what's coming
up next on The Alabama Show.What's awesome in your life? Maybe you're
dating a real nice guy instead ofa fake nice guy. I'm not saying
I'm nice, but I'm a gentleman. What's what's awesome on the text line?
We gotta what's awesome on the texthand. I just got accepted.
(24:47):
It's a nursing school. Yes,good job. That could be what's awesome?
Whatever you want to celebrate call theshow eight three three five O one
Bama. What's your What's awesome?Catch up with Alabama in the morning on
the Heart radio app or wherever youlisten to podcasts. So if you can
ever get through the phone lines,we love to read your text text the
keyword Alabama and your message in thesame text message to three zero three eight
(25:08):
two some uplifting We're doing what's awesome? We want to hear what's awesome in
your life. But I'll tell youan awesome text that just came in because
we were talking earlier about val whohates her grandson's name, who's named Atlas,
And somebody texted in and said,I know somebody with a kid named
Atlas. He's almost ten, andit's he's like the greatest kid, and
(25:29):
it's the coolest name. I lovethat name. I bet you he get
all the ladies too. He mightwhen he grows up. He's a baby
now anyway. Eight three three fiveone Bama is the number to share your
what's awesome? David, good morning. Do you have a what's awesome?
And? Yeah? I just gota new job. Yeah about tomorrow?
Where is it? What's your newjob? Vulcan engineering? Whoa so engineer?
(25:52):
That's a good paycheck, is it? I'm just creating electrical panels.
Yeah, to be a day paycheck. Are you single? I am?
Do you want to go out todinner? Who's buying you? David?
David, don't fall Yes, I'mjust cheesy. Is gonna get get onto
me for that? But now that'swhat's awesome. Congratulations. You'll have to
(26:15):
call us after you've had your firstweek at your new job and tell us
how you like it. Yes,callers, thank you so much. I
will. You're listening to Alabama inthe morning on demand. I've been waiting
to tell you the greatest story ever. Sounds like a Hairy Potter movie,
like far far away in a magicalland, something like that. What happened
(26:36):
to me is something that you woulddo? Is magical? Eight three three
five one Bama. Is the numberto call the show? What's the weirdest
place or why anybody has ever hiton you? So I'm at Whole Foods,
the healthiest place to ever get food. Yeah, I love it already.
I'm walking through the International Food I'llI'm pushing my shopping cart. It's
(27:03):
early in the morning. I'm inmy yoga pants. Even better. You
just can't for the no make up, No mate, I came from doing
farm chores. I'm pushing my cart. I'm sitting there in front of the
was Sabie looking at the Asian food. I love with Sabie like I literally
(27:26):
I love I love man. Ilove me some sushi. Oh, I
know you do. And this guypushes his cart next to mine, And
what do you say? What doyou say? He looks at me like
he knows me? And I'm thinkinghe's about to say something like, hey,
I listen to the show or whatever, or maybe I know this guy.
I don't know. Here's what hesaid, You got some pretty toes,
(27:51):
yes, like yeah, yeah,he's a Steve Man. You've gotta
is this guy shot? You gotthis guys? So you know what?
I looked at him. All Icould do was bust out laughing because I
instantly thought of you. Because weplay a game on the show called is
(28:11):
it an adult movie? Your fingernailpolish Color? Because DJ new Era loves
women's toast, you gotta have himon the show. So I laughed and
I just said, I said thankyou, and I walked over to the
frozen foods Oh, come on,and then I turned around. I was
laughing so hard. He caught meon a good day. I turned around
(28:32):
and I walked back to him andI said, Hey, are you from
here? And he goes, yeah, I'm from here. And I said,
have you heard of the Alabama showyou advertising? I said, with
the girl and DJ new Era.He goes, yeah, I'm heard of
it. I said that's me.Yes, I said, my co host
(28:55):
D January has a foot fetish,serious foot fetish. I'm sorry I laughed
at you when you hit on me, but I just I thought of him,
and I couldn't stop laughing. Hewas, okay, I'll check it
out right, so then I'll walkaway. I got back to to the
frozen food aisle and then about threeminutes later, he comes pushing his cart
back by me again and he goes, are you married. Yeah, there
(29:19):
an that question. No, Itold him. I said, I'm sorry,
I'm taking sorry, buddy, Idon't want some guys sucking on my
feet. Why not? You knowI love feet. That's a mental connection
right there. I look, Istarted with this, no mental connection for
mental connection fee. If you're ableto make somebody happy just by rubbing their
(29:41):
feet before anything else, that's howyou can, like really mester the mound
up in a good way. You'venever heard of this. You can rub
my feet, that's fine, butyou ain't sucking on my toes. Well
correction, I'm not doing it.No, that's a that's an hr conlint.
I will not now now, Ohgod, listen out now. The
(30:04):
whole fool guy all day. Iwas not attracted to him at all.
Oh, come on, just anyway, what's the weirdest place somebody has ever
hit on you? Eight three threefive one bamas the number? Catch up
on Alabama in the morning, onthe iHeart radio app or wherever you listen
to podcasts. What's the weirdest placeor way anybody has ever hit on you?
(30:29):
Oh Man, good stories? Eightthree three five one BAMA is the
number. Because a guy walked upto me at Whole Foods and said,
oh, you got some pretty toast. Hey, you gott I am not
a feet girl. Just because helikes it doesn't mean I like it.
This is I laughed because Era isa foot person, and I feel like
you would go up to a girland say this. No I would not,
But once I get to know thatperson, if I get a shot,
(30:52):
I would bring that out. Ohlord, eight three three five one
bamas the number or text Alabama andyour message to three zero at three eight
to Chris. Has anybody hit onyou in a weird spot? When I
was on a date with someone else, somebody hit on you, Not on
me, but on the date thatI had. What Yeah, what happened?
(31:14):
So we're going to this restaurant andwe're getting seated by the hostess and
it was a giant restaurant. Ohhell, and this waiter staring at her
from like way across the restaurant.Was it your waiter? Yeah No,
it wasn't. That was That wasalmost the worst part. We were like
in a totally different section. Ohno, if it was your waiter,
I would have said, don't tipthe guy, right, And so I
(31:37):
told her, Hey, this guy'sgonna be a problem. And she thought
it was crazy, you know,she thought it was being paranoid. Well,
sure enough, midway through the meal, I get up and I go
to the bathroom and I come backand he's standing there chatting her up.
As I'm coming back to the table. Oh what did you do? What
did you do? What did yousay to him? Food fight? I
just gave him a look in aneyebrow raise and he scurried off. But
(31:59):
it was like, come on,now, you never that's that's like one
oh one. Don't date on,don't hit on somebody that's on a date.
Yeah, it was bad. Itwas Arrow would have fought for you.
Yeah, Chris, I was goingto say, when it comes to
that, man, I'm very protective. So I got you back to munched
a guy for doing that before.No, but I've had words with a
guy, oh boy, and itended in hey, why don't you DJ
(32:21):
my win? Oh my god,I'm just being one thousand. I love
you, Chris, Thanks for sharing. That's the story. You were listening
to Alabama in the morning on demand. I can't believe you just try to
convince me to a random guy fromWhole Food suck my toes. I'm not
trying to convince you that I'm givingyou an opportunity to explore. I don't
(32:43):
know, I know. Thanks forlistening to the Alabama Show. I'm Alabama
with de January. Good morning,my lovely co host who has a foot
fetish. I have a series one. There is a man who walked up
to me at Whole Foods the otherday and said, you got some pretty
toes. Hey he saw yoga fans. He's like, he's coming from the
gym. She's healthy. I startedlaughing and instantly thought about Era. And
(33:06):
I've been holding this story in fora couple of days and it's been the
hardest thing ever. So what's theweirdest way anybody has ever hit on you?
Three five one BEMA is the number, texts the keyword Alabama and your
message to three zero three eight two. Era says he has a story.
Were you the one being hit on? Or were you the one hitting on
somebody? I was the one beinghit on. You know, I work
out a lot consistently, so girlslove Era. Right, So when I
(33:28):
work out in the gym on legday, I have on these things called
leggings. No, no, they'relike compression, say the word, but
they're like they're shorts that come almostup to mine. Oh you're wearing booty
shorts right there you go. That'sanother way of saying it. And this
girl walks out to me and says, hey, you need a partner.
I would love to squat you inyour shorts. Those were her exact words,
(33:52):
and it made me so uncomfortable becauseI'm like, wait a minute,
boy, I would love to squatyou in your show. I would love
to help you, help you out. And your shorts? What are these
like? Tight short? They're verytight, very tight, and it shows
the tattoos on my thighs and everything. What did these shorts look like?
Are they a solid color or dothey have designs on? Does it look
(34:14):
like you're wearing tiny white? Iactually have them all right now, clothes
my clothes right now, because whenI leave you underwear, no no,
no, no, can I seethem? Hey, it'll have to be
Let me see if you're wearing itto the gym. Let me see show
me right now, let me seeyou to explain. Don't show me the
(34:37):
back. That's even worse. Justgive me a sneak pick. Just show
me the side. I want tosee what color they are? Where the
girl they're trying to squat you?Let me see they're black? Oh my
god. Don't you see how smallthey stand up? You see they come
up to like right here. That'ssuper small. You're working out at the
gym and your underwear those are notunderwear. It's so I catch underwear.
(35:01):
It's hot outside, so I wantwatch your own side in an air conditioned
Jim, I haven't no bam way. This says, Okay, when you
work out, you want to becomfortable, right, call the show.
You don't want to be uncomfortable.Well, she was real comfortable squatting you.
Hey, she's oh god show?So where does why anybody's ever hit
(35:21):
on any late? Three three fiveone bamas the number? Catch up with
Alabama in the morning on the iHeartradio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
So don't go up to a girland say she's got pretty toes today.
I'm not going to see anything ofthat nature. Don't have a kid.
Name it something that your mom willhate. I'm done having kids.
You don't know. You never knowwhat if you accidentally have one. Hey,
(35:45):
greater things have happened in the universehas a kid? What's tomorrow?
Oh, you know what we're doingtomorrow. By the way, we're done.
But anything you missed on the show, you gotta go listen. Today
was great. Look up the AlabamaShow on demand in the free I Heart
Radio app. And tomorrow, makesure you wake up really early listen to
us at six am because tomorrow Erais gonna learn what it's like to wear
(36:07):
spanks. Oh that's what we're doingtomorrow. I gotta put these on tomorrow
and where I'm doing the show,let me track it at to my Amazon.
It should be delivered today. Yeah, tomorrow, that's gonna happen.
We'll see you bright and early atsix am. You got a big size
bye than than Thanks for listening toAlabama in the Morning on demand.
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