Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The b Natty three Morning Show. I'm Mike and I'm
Ali Mack. I'm feeling the pressure a little bit lately.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Why I don't understand what's going on?
Speaker 1 (00:06):
This happens to everyone. I think when you get in
a relationship and like, you know, the trend on TikTok,
like you look happier now, yes, yea, And like since
Jimmy and I have started dating, like that has been
something that I've heard a lot, like you look, you
just seems so much happier now, and I am, okay, yeah, no,
it's a great thing. But then after that come the
(00:28):
series of questions like so when of you guys moving
in together? So one of you guys, when's the ring coming?
Like I was at one of his lacrosse games past
weekend and I like just happened to run into like
a friend of a friend there and she was like, so,
how's Jimmy, Like how's everything going? Like when are we
thinking the ring is gonna come? And I'm like, h wait, wait, Like,
(00:51):
first of all, do you think I know I have
no idea? Sure, yeah, I don't know the answers to
these questions. I know that it comes from a good
place a place of people care about us and they
love seeing us happy and they're excited for us, which
makes me feel really happy and excited myself. But it
(01:11):
also a's this like layer of pressure that I just
haven't ever had to really deal with. Haven't typically in
my life been the like long term relationship girly. Like
there was a long time in my twenties where I
was like, I'm not getting married and I'm not having kids,
(01:32):
Like I'm not doing it. It's not for me. That's
just like not my journey in life. And now, of
course I feel a little bit differently about it. Ye
you meet your person and you're like, oh, okay, I
totally get why people can see this.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
So let me start by saying, I said the exact
same thing in my twenties, did you exact same I'm
never getting married. I don't ever see myself having kids,
and look at me today. I married three kids, I
would have more kids. Yeah, so that part of it,
I understand fully. I noticed that that you would mention
(02:08):
that people are like kind of asking more about it,
which is why I stop saying stuff about it.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
And like it's it's not because I don't think you care,
like but I do appreciate just like the awareness some
people have, the awareness that they're like because if there
are two questions that I make it a point not
to ask people like my friends who have just gotten married,
which a lot of them have over the last couple
of years, I'm not going to be that person as
(02:33):
soon as they get married, when are.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
You having kids?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Right? Right?
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Like, I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
In a lot of cases, I do know what's going
on and a lot of their lives, but I just
don't want to be another person who I don't you know,
And I don't believe that you ask women are you pregnant?
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Or like, oh yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I just feel like those kinds of questions are not
necessarily for me to ask.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Do you feel like because you're now in this era
of like it could happen at any point and you
could you see kind of a future with yimmy? Do
you feel like you feel more pressure now because your
mindset is there when in before, if somebody had asked
you that you weren't really thinking about it, you would
just go, I.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
Don't know, I feel like that's part of it, yes.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Or do you think that the questions are coming more
because people are seeing how happy you are and could
see this future with you with with yimmy.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
I feel like that's also part of it. I feel
like people are excited and it's like an exciting time.
And now a majority of my friends, like, we have
a wedding to go to in August, and it's like
the last person in my immediate friend group who's getting married.
So then I'll be the only unmarried person in our group. Okay, So,
(03:52):
and that's not an unfamiliar position for me to be in.
I feel like I've always just been either ahead or
behind where everyone else is. Like when I was in
a relationship, everybody else was single, when everybody was single,
I you know, it just I've always been kind of
the opposite to where everyone was at sure, which doesn't
really bother me.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Sure comparison stefa Joy Yeah shuit.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
But I have noticed that even some of my friends
are like, Okay, what's the timeline?
Speaker 4 (04:18):
Like what are we doing? Like is he gonna do
this or what?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I'm like, just just hold on. There's no there's no rush,
Like I feel like it's just like hurry up, hurry up,
hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Well, then if if if the if he did ask
like soon, if he asked before what they thought was
an appropriate amount of time for you guys dating, it
would be like, wow, he asked you awfully early. It
seems like a quick proposal, do you know what I mean? So,
like you really can't win this, Yeah, I can't win
because if they if he would have asked within like
a month, and you guys just knew they would have
(04:52):
been like or even six months or a year, and
they didn't think they in their mind, it didn't seem
like it was long enough.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
It would be a whole different conversation.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Right, And they're like, you guys have been dating for
a year and a half, Like, what's the hold up?
Why aren't you moving it together? Why aren't you getting engaged?
And I'm like, because we're just we're happy. We're enjoying
where we're at, Like we don't get this time back.
We are two single people. I mean we're obviously like
together and very much in love. Yeah, but we were
(05:24):
we enjoy our life right now, like we are single income,
no kids. Yeah, we have travel, we have the time,
and we have the opportunity and we have like a
little bit of adult money right now to like just
enjoy where we're at. And I I love that people
take the interest and care and get excited and I'm like, oh,
(05:45):
you love me.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
But at the same time, I'm like, stop.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Rushing it, because once it's done, it's done, Like once
you have the proposal, right, Actually that the proposal's done
once you get married, right, I mean you celebrate the anniversaries.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
It's not it's a good thing, but like there's no
you're not going anywhere.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, And I know that this is not something that
just happens to me. I know everybody goes through this,
but like, what do you say? I just feel like
I don't have a good answer. So I just want
to know, like what do you say to people when
they ask you these questions? Doesn't have to be like
are you moving in together? Are you getting engaged? Are
you gonna have babies?
Speaker 4 (06:22):
Like it can be.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
I just want something that's not like a clap back,
but just something that's like nice enough but also firm
enough where it's like back off, you know, like I
love you and I love that you love me, but
just change the change the topic.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
I waited eight years to provoke, so I don't uh.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
I.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Don't really have like I really can't talk huh No.
What I mean is like I have heard a lot
of those as well. I had a baby before we
had a baby before we we got married, so I
didn't do it the.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Right way either is no right way?
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Well, according to everybody, right, you're right, You're one hundred
percent right. I said it wrong. But I feel like
I got a couple responses, at least a couple good ones. Okay,
but some of them were just like changing the topic.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Give me all of these b nainety three. Getting a
little vulnerable today. I think I'm just fielding a lot
of questions lately about like, okay, you and Yimmy, you
guys have been dating for a year and a half,
Like when are you moving in together? One's the ring coming?
Or are you gonna plan a wedding soon? Like what's
going on?
Speaker 4 (07:37):
Hurry hurry, hurry, hurry hurry.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
I rarely see you show a sense of like nervousness.
You're pretty like even keel, You're pretty like like laser
focused in until we start talking about this and they
it's like, well, you know, I just I don't I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Well, I don't know, and it's so funny. It's so
funny to watch.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
And that is like wild because it's not that I'm
nervous about like him or the relationship, like I've never
been more sure, Like it's it's.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
No, I didn't take that. I didn't take it like that.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
It's crazy, like when people are like you just know,
and I'm like, if that ain't a load of if
I've ever heard one, Like yeah, okay.
Speaker 4 (08:15):
But like it's true, yeah, it's true what they say.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
But I just I don't have answers to these questions,
like I don't have a specific like okay, August first,
you know.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
You wouldn't want to have an exact answer. That wouldn't
that would take everything out of it. I feel like,
do you know what I mean? Yeah, And I don't
nerve nerve. Maybe nervous isn't the right word. Flustered. Flustered
might be the word I'm looking.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
For because I just like don't have a good answer,
and like usually I'm pretty good, like on my feet
and stuff, but when people like make comments like that
and ask me questions and I'm always like, I don't know, man,
I have I don't know, like we just we're just
are in a good spot. We're just like enjoying each other.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
And I had things I had, like like phrases. I
would just hold on to them because I waited my
wife and I my wife's also Ali, her name is Ali.
I waited eight years. We had a baby in that time. Yeah,
we we learned, we.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Grew up and learned a lot about each other.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
But I would always just have these phrases, and one
of them was, were enjoying the journey, no need to
rush to the destination.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Ooh, so we would.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
I would just have these because my usual responsive, Uh,
what's the rush? I had to have like things ready
to go.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
And it's not that I didn't love he obviously, Yeah,
but like you said, what's what was the what's the rush?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
So I just I guess I'm like, what did you say?
Because I know people, this isn't like a new experience.
I'm not the first one to have to deal with this.
I think this is a very common thing.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
So like what do you say?
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Six one, six, two four two ninety three, ninety three,
good morning, be ninety three? Who's this and where are
you from?
Speaker 5 (09:51):
This is Joe grand rapping.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
Hi, Joe, what's up?
Speaker 5 (09:54):
Hey, listen, there's no need to rush anything.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
You know.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
The wife and I we've been together thirty five years now,
and we dated for five years before I even decided
to propose to her, and we already had two kids
by then, because I told her plat out, I was
only doing this one time, and one time only.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
So did you sort of get those questions too when
you guys were dating, like when's the ring coming?
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Yeah, most definitely, especially from her mother.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
And what did you say?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (10:27):
I was like, if the time will be right, When
the time is right? Yeah, right now. We're enjoying our lives,
you know.
Speaker 6 (10:35):
Yes we have.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
We started a family, but I'm not going anywhere.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:41):
And like I said, thirty five years together. We just
had our eighth grandchild born this weekend.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Oh congratual.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
Thank you. All Our kids are growing up. We moved,
they moved out, we're empty nestors and now we're living
the adult adult life.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Yeah. I love that for you guys. Thank you, Joe.
I soppreciate the advice.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
You're welcome.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
Have a great day. Bye, Joe. What a guy.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Yeah, but of course I just got a text from
my mother hurry up, Yimmy, let's get the show on
the road. And I'm like, yes, it's you. You are
You're part of it.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
It's you. You're the problem to be ninety three Morning Show.
I'm Ali Mack. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I just I'm looking for some responses that maybe people
have used that have gotten this job done.
Speaker 4 (11:36):
Here's what I'm feeling right now.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
Okay, I'm feeling like I'm getting a lot of questions
from people, and I feel like, typically he's come from
a good place, but I'm getting a lot of when
are you and Yimmy moving in together? When are you
guys getting engaged? When are you gonna get married? Are
you guys gonna have kids? And I know, deep down
(11:57):
this comes from.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
A good place.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
I think people are happy for us and they're excited,
So I don't It's not like I have a personal
grudge against anybody who ever asks me that question. Yeah,
but it does kind of instill a little bit of
pressure that like I've really never experienced before. Like you
(12:22):
hear about it, but until you're actually in it and
fielding the questions yourself, who you don't realize how much
of an effect it has on you.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, I agree with you.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
I think it's all and I only speak for myself too,
but it all comes from like a loving place and
like an excited for you place, and you seem to
be heading in that direction place. I did it a
little bit more as like kind of joking, like yeah,
you know what I mean, but I stopped recently because
I noticed you've been getting it a lot more.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
And I remember those days.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I'm married now, but I waited eight years to get
married and you know, I've been married almost seven years now,
and so like I remember those days.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
I just feel like people are saying hurry up, yeah, hurry.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Up yeah, And I don't know why. I don't know
what the reason is.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
When you're dating, it's hurry up and get married or
get engaged, and when you get married, it's hurry up
and have kids.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
And then when you.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Have kids, it's like hurry up for something else, Like
hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. That's what I feel
like people are really saying.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Yeah, and it doesn't well.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
And there's this like stigma and maybe it's just in
the Midwest, or maybe it's just in Michigan where I
don't know if a lot of your friends did this.
My friends got married right out of high school. A
lot of them got married super young. So it almost
feels like all those people who were married young and
had kids young, yeah, are like and there is no
right timeline here, but are like, you know, that's where
(13:52):
they're coming from.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
It's like, we did it, you know, in our twenties.
And I didn't get married to my thirties. I didn't
have kids to my thirties. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Yeah, I feel like my friends kind of did it
a little bit later too.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
And I don't feel like I've ever been right there
with my friends in terms of where we were at
in life stages, Like we're the same age pretty much.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
But when I was in a relationship, they were all single.
When they were all single, I was in a relationship.
I was one of the first people, like in my
friend group to buy a house, and then everyone else
brought out. So I've always just been like slightly either
ahead of or behind wherever they were, Okay, which doesn't
bother me at all. I think everybody's journey is different
(14:32):
and there are no rules and there are no timelines,
and you just can't listen to it.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
What did you say earlier, comparison?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Comparison is the thief of joy? Yes, I think in
every single thing in life.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yes, exactly. But I just have noticed that even some
of my friends who have gone through this and now
they're married and now they're starting their journey starting families
and that kind of stuff, they dealt with this, They
dealt with this, and they would vent about it. And
now I'm getting the questions from them. I'm like, wait
a minute, who.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Do you think does it the most? Is it close
to my mom? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:04):
I literally just got a text from my mom that said,
what are we waiting for? Get the show on the road, Jim.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
That's like, I mean, that's such a good thing, especially
for him, like if my mother in law, actually she
did a little bit in the beginning, in the first
couple of years, but that feeling of knowing that, like
she wants to welcome him into your family, yeah, for
him is such a beautiful thing.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
It is it is.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I'm I'm super excited, and I think that everybody else
is too, so I can't be too mad about it
because I think that everyone is like, Okay, this is it.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
You guys like let's go, and.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I'm like, wait, dial it back. So I just like,
what did you say to people? Because this isn't a
unique experience, Like people go through this every day all
the time. I'm certainly not the first. I guess I'm
just looking for like something to say to people that
like satisfies them but also is kind of like and
(15:57):
don't ask me again.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Like a pacifier. It's up to the past.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Good morning, B ninety three? Who's this and where are
you from?
Speaker 7 (16:04):
This is Michelle from Pastein, Hi, Michelle, what's up? I
just say I've been in a relationship. This one's most
to the extreme because we've been together for twenty five
years and not married. Oh yeah, So I always get
the question of why we didn't get married, why we're
(16:24):
not married or anything like that, and I just tell
them I don't need a piece of paper to say
I'm with this person.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
So one of the biggest yeah, I like that.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
One of the biggest things because I waited eight years
before I proposed to my wife. One of the biggest
things is I would ask why why do we why
do we need that, Like, what's the difference between what
we're doing now? And then legally like signing a paper, like,
what is the difference?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
I love you, you love me?
Speaker 5 (16:50):
ACTU?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
She my wife only reason, not the only reason. There
are many other reasons.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
But she wanted the wedding, she wanted the she wanted
all that, and yeah I did too if it makes
her happy.
Speaker 7 (17:00):
Well, we both had been previously married prior. Okay, we've
already had the weddings and stuff, and so it's just dope,
don't need the paper. We know where together and that's
about all we need.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Yeah, everything is just it's when you're having a good time.
Why change it if it ain't broke, right.
Speaker 5 (17:19):
Yeah, exactly, they broke, don't fix it.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Yeah, thanks Michelle, have a great day.
Speaker 7 (17:25):
Thank you you too.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
What stage of life are you in right now that
you're just like you're getting pressured to like hit that
next milestone six one, six two four to two ninety
three ninety three?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Would you ever consider the no marriage thing?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
You guys, just stay together forever and and and write
out your days.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
No, that's not well that's not what we both want.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, yeah, like.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
We both want it. That's that's not the question.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Yeah, it's just like the timing, you know, when I
wouldn't say that Jimmy or I are a little bit older.
I know everybody as a different journey, So I don't
like to make statements like that, like oh, you're too
young or you're too old or whatever, like you're just
you're ready when you're ready. But like, let me tell you,
like I have a house, how he has a house,
Like I have a career.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
We have a career.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Like it's a lot of stuff to juggle and like
figure out, Okay, what are we gonna do with this?
How are we gonna move on to the next stage?
Like it just it takes it takes time.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Yeah, my my initial thought was I would never get
married and what we would just stay together and like Michelle,
ride out our days and I it was right before.
I mean, obviously I put a lot of thought into it.
I waited eight years to do it. Yeah, there was
a moment that it switched for me, and then I
(18:41):
wanted to make her happy too. And while I thought
we could easily have taken the money and gone and
done other things with it rather than had a whole wedding, yeah,
I wouldn't have changed it for the entire world.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
It was the greatest thing that we've ever done.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
See, everything happened exactly how it needed to happen. Yeah,
And that's so that's like generally what I tell people.
I just don't feel like people are satisfied with that.
They want like a date.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Yeah, oh yeah, you know yeah, because and you're right too.
Once you do that, I mean, once you get married,
the next one's gonna be what are the kids right?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
What are the kids right?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Are you getting pressured to hit the next life milestone? Marriage, house, baby,
career change before you're ready? Six one, six, two, four, two,
ninety three, ninety three, Good morning, b ninety three?
Speaker 4 (19:25):
Who's this? And where are you? From?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
High Ali?
Speaker 6 (19:27):
This is Todd from Portage.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
Hi, Todd, how are you great?
Speaker 5 (19:32):
Well?
Speaker 6 (19:33):
I have some perfect what I tell my staff at work,
old man advice for you.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
Bring it on, Todd.
Speaker 6 (19:41):
My wife and I have been married thirty eight years,
and you know I listened to country music all the time.
So all I'm gonna do is answer this your thing
with a country song. Oh okay, Trace Atkins, you're gonna
miss this.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Oh yeah, yeah, there you go.
Speaker 6 (20:01):
That's the whole answer right there.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
Listen to the song.
Speaker 6 (20:04):
You've got your answer.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yeah, just enjoy where you're at, right because one day
you're going to look back and it's going to go
by fast.
Speaker 6 (20:12):
You're gonna miss it if you don't just slow down
and enjoy where you're at.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Yeah, well there you go.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Well, thanks Todd, that was great old man advice.